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Okay, look, I'll give you $50. It's my final offer. It's not for sale.
Oh, Miltie, this is beautiful.
Very fine piece of work, Mr. Horowitz.
I don't like cheaters. I'm not cheating. I'm adapting.
I
know
what we should put in the time capsule.
Miltie, you didn't.
I gotta get her back.
She's the only one who believed in me.
wasted enough time on you.
And right here is where you start paying.
What?
I'm gonna live forever.
Baby, remember my name.
Fellow faculty, student, and members of the press, it gives me great pleasure to
introduce to you a true champion of the arts, Mr. Frederick Rosen of the
National Cultural Center.
As some of you may know, the Center is collecting objects with the performing
arts to be placed into a time capsule.
I'm delighted to announce that the School of the Arts has been selected to
contribute one item.
Now, the article you choose will represent your school a century from now
the time capsule is open.
Think of it as your legacy to future generations. Thank you. Thank you.
Now, how is that for enthusiasm for you, huh?
Well, they're going to need it.
This is one tough assignment. Oh, quit worrying. All those kids are so
dedicated. They're all going to be out there looking for something.
You think so?
You name one who won't. Hey, Miss, do you want to buy a couple of tickets? Ten
dollars a piece. Deal at half the price.
No, thank you.
Hey, don't miss the theatrical experience of a lifetime.
couple of tickets.
Say that again?
Oh, you're looking
for Radio
City Music Hall.
Hey,
you're in luck. This is it. We found it.
Scalping tickets to a student show.
It's outrageous.
I don't know what got into me. And to a couple of Batonian tourists. us, no
less.
He thought I was doing them a favor.
Did you know that musicals are banned in Batonia? Is that a fact?
Yeah, I figured it was, uh, you know, their one real chance to see South
Pacific. Do you expect me to believe this?
It was worth a shot.
When they got up in the middle of the second act and started shouting for the
Rockettes. That was pretty funny. That was appalling.
Mr. Horowitz, you are without a doubt one of the most deviant...
Unprincipled, self -absorbed human beings that I have ever met.
I'm not self -absorbed.
Your record speaks for itself. What it says is disgraceful.
Don't you have any commitment to this school?
Well... I'm thinking, I'm thinking. If you have to think so hard, perhaps you
don't belong here.
Look, Mr. Derenforth, commitment's my middle name.
Well, I certainly hope so.
Because this is your final warning.
One more infraction.
One more failed clash and you are gone.
Yes, sir.
So, how'd it go?
What can I tell you? The guy loves me.
Oh, Mr.
Gareforth, I found it.
Found what?
The playbill for the monster that devoured Las Vegas.
I didn't know it was missing.
It's for the time capsule.
Oh, that's an interesting choice, but do you think one show can represent the
entire school?
This one can.
It's the most ambitious, inventive production we ever did.
I still can't believe we pulled it off.
So, do we call off the search?
Well, that would be a bit premature, but I'll see that it gets to Miss Beckett
and Miss Higgins. They're doing the preliminary screening.
I got it.
Have you girls thought of a yearbook yet?
Never mind, that was my second choice anyway. Let me ask you a question. What
the toughest thing to do in show business?
Get an agent? That's right, be a stand -up. And who's the funniest guy you
It's me, right?
and wisdom of Danny Amatul.
Here's all my best material.
You know, this way, when they open up the capsule, they can get a good laugh,
you know? Yeah, I look forward to reading it. We'll be in touch, all
Call this piece Massacre.
Stop.
That'll be quite enough. Thank you.
Something wrong?
Your assignment was to write and perform an original piece of music, not recycle
wipeout.
I knew that sounded familiar.
For three years now, you've been sliding through my class. Frankly, I'm tired of
it. Don't take it personal, Mr. Sharofsky. I slide through all my
Look, I know I'm not going to make a great performer.
Then why are you here?
To meet the stars of tomorrow.
You know, one day I'm going to be a great agent.
I mean, what a gig.
They do all the work and I get 20%. You mean 10%. It's negotiable.
I don't understand you, Mr. Horowitz.
Surely there must be some form of creative expression that interests you.
Not really.
I refuse to believe that. You do have talent. It's about time you made an
effort to use it.
I want you to redo this assignment.
Consider it your last chance to pass this course.
That must be good for a C.
You want to bet?
A D?
Look, Mr. Shirovsky, I can't write a song.
Try, Mr. Horowitz.
Pass or fail.
It's up to you.
Remember this, Leroy?
This is a playbill from that off -Broadway show when Coco and I were up
same part. I do remember that. You two got pretty nasty during that time.
Good week, y 'all.
Look at this book, Miss Grant. This is incredible.
It should be. You know, I've kept this ever since I first got here.
And you're thinking about putting it in a time capsule?
Yeah. Well, it's got everything in it, and anybody would want to know about the
school.
Now, what is this child's name? Remember her? What's her name?
I can't remember.
I don't know.
Oh, she got them fierce legs, though.
Fierce legs and them tied hoofs always tripping over herself. I don't even know
how she got in this store.
Miss Sherwood.
Look at her.
Sweating in our Robie's class. Look at her. She was trying to hold on to those
thin thighs. That's all right. She was a fighter.
What is that doing in there? Are you kidding? This is the first time you ever
put on tights in my class. Now, this was truly a historic moment.
You want to become a dancer?
You're going to have to work.
Work your little tights off.
I ain't wearing no tights.
What are you wearing, Leroy?
Dancing clothes.
This isn't Roseland.
This is a dance.
That's cute, Leroy.
You know, you're real cute.
But either you dress properly for my plaid, or you won't be in it.
Good afternoon.
Anything I can help you with today?
Yeah, tights. Certainly. For yourself?
Yeah. What size?
I don't know.
Medium, I'd say.
You're right, medium.
Colored?
Do you have a dance belt?
Most tights I've seen don't need no belt.
Man, we're not talking about that kind of belt.
You see, most tights are, well, tight.
You ain't talking to no fool, turkey.
Well, I know that. Tight to tight, I know that.
Young man, you need what you would call a jock.
Oh, why don't you say that?
I can't believe you kept all this stuff, Miss Graham.
Oh, baby, we've been through so much together.
We sure have.
Remember this?
We tried to shut down the anti -nuclear show, keep us from doing it. I will be
teaching this class in the absence of Miss Sherwood.
And if you would, please tell me what were you studying when she left?
Poetry of the 60s.
Bob Dylan.
Oh. Bob Dylan. Well, I think you can safely call him a poet. We were
how he expressed himself through his music. Yeah, like blowing in the wind. I
mean, it wasn't fun, but it said something.
Yeah, it said something about peace. You know, that's what he wanted, so he took
a stand.
Yeah. Well, actually, Leroy, he sat down.
Sat down?
A lot of people did, including me. Miss Grant, you sat down?
I had to.
Well, why?
For better education, right to go to ballet class.
even to go to the movies.
That whole sit -in idea, that was Martin Luther King's, right?
Yeah, Dr. King. I think you could safely call him a poet, too.
He was the first American leader to implement the sit -in as a method of
change in this country.
Actually, he got the idea from Mahatma Gandhi, the concept of passive
resistance. That's kind of like not fighting back, right?
Well, Danny, there's many ways you can fight back.
You can... throw a punch or a brick or pick up a gun.
Or you could sit very still and hold on very tightly to your inner
convictions and try to change the world that way.
How many years must one woman have before she can
hear people cry?
Yes, and how many deaths will it take...
That too many people have died.
The answer, my friends, is going to win.
The answer is going to win.
This is one great book.
It is, isn't it?
You know, I could sit here all day long.
Sure you want to give that away?
Well, it's a sacrifice, but...
It's for a good cause, for history, for posterity, for... For
nothing, honey. I can't give this book away.
I feel like burying a part of myself.
I just have to think of something else.
I'm rolling with
the thunder.
I'm rising up in the sun.
Burn down the night.
Burn down the night.
If you can't make it right.
Take out the broken pot.
Burn down the night.
Burn down the night.
You can't make it right.
Burn down the night.
You've got to burn down the night. You've got to burn down the night.
Burn down the night.
All right. That was it.
It took a look on the plate, but that was good. I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah. That was great. How did you do that?
Well, write a song.
Well, I don't know. Just do it.
Come on, you can tell me. What did you do first? You write the words or the
music or what?
Japan.
Well, look, maybe I could watch you do it once. Pick up a few things, huh?
It's simple.
All you do, you find something that inspires you and you write about it.
That's good. That's good. Like what?
Well, that's what you have to figure out.
I knew you were going to say that.
Miltie! Hey.
What? Stop coming along.
Uh, well, I'm still in the idea stage.
Yeah? Mm -hmm. You know, some people think you're gonna weasel out of this
assignment. Yeah, well, they're wrong.
I know that.
You do?
Mm -hmm. Because deep inside you, there's a poet struggling to get out.
Well, thanks, Maxie. You're okay.
Listen, I, uh, gotta get back to work.
Time capsule mania. I can't believe this. We already have enough junk to
museum. Or a junk store.
I don't know.
Dillian! Dillian! I know what we should put in the time capsule.
I'm glad somebody does. We'll make a film. We'll make a film about the school
the arts and what we have to go through, the price we have to pay to become an
artist. We'll show the blood, the sweat, the tears, the hard work, the endless
practice and rehearsals for what? To become better than we are.
Sounds like an awful lot of work.
It's a lot of work.
Who's afraid of little work?
I'm playing across the street.
Look, I'm busy right now, okay? Top stage new movie.
Mortron's Revenge? It's out?
No, no, just open today.
I hear it's really intense. A cross between Godzilla and the Brothers
That's right. Come on, man, let's go. Ten minutes. Start.
I can't. I gotta do this.
Oh, did I forget to mention it was in 3D?
Really? Yeah.
And you call yourself a monster fan?
Boy, it's good to get out of the storage room, isn't it? I've seen that relic
still last me a lifetime.
Hey, ladies.
Sorry to interrupt.
Donnelly wanted me to get it.
Oh, that'll look great in my living room.
That's not for you.
It's for the time capsule.
Isn't it a little big?
Yeah, that's what I said, so I came up with this instead.
To my millions of future fans, love you, Chris Donovan.
That's great.
Is he kidding?
About his career?
Never.
Yeah, but why would we want to put Chris in the time capsule? Better than
Donovan. He's the perfect product of the school.
The drive, determination, talent. The kid has it all.
Hey. What about when I'm doing my big song, I bridge off and hit him with a
couple of Mickeys, you know what I mean? I'm going to dip and dabble with the
audience, a little participation.
What do you say?
You mean like Wayne Newton?
Better than Wayne Newton.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't be ashamed.
You are my... Don't be ashamed.
My heart cries.
Don't be ashamed.
One more time.
Don't be ashamed.
Ladies and gentlemen, God bless you. I know I am fantastic.
Thank you.
I love Vegas.
Seriously, I do love Vegas. I like the rooms. I like the hotels. But the rooms,
the rooms, they're very small.
In fact, like last night after a brilliant performance, I come up and I
key in the door and I broke the window.
You can laugh at it. It's a joke.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.
You're very, very beautiful.
No, Vegas is small.
And I'm sure you can relate to that being very tiny and compact yourself.
In fact, Baskin and Robbins in Vegas only has one flavor.
Thank you. Thank you. God bless you. And you're sweet, too, baby.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to say just thank you. I know you enjoyed my
from a very funny guy.
God bless you.
So, what do you say?
Well, I hate to disappoint you, but I just don't think any one student can
possibly represent the school.
Not even someone as devastating as Craig Donovan.
Well, I tried, big guy.
I don't want to get kicked out of school.
Then quit goofing around and get to work.
I didn't work.
I mean, I...
Put everything I had into it.
What did I come up with? Zilch.
Filthy, you gotta try harder.
I did. It's no use.
I'm wasting my time.
So what are you gonna do? Give up?
What choice have I got?
I tried. I really tried.
I can't cut.
All right, people, y 'all calm down there in the back. I'm getting ready to
shoot this first shot. Here we go.
Tom Capsule Film, take one.
Yes!
La la la la
Sea shells spitting by the seashore, spitting to Sean, spitting to Sean,
spitting to Sean.
Be true, be beautiful, be
free. The ring of love must remain complete. Be true, be beautiful, be
free.
Complete. Complete.
Complete. Complete.
Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
Complete. Complete.
Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
Complete. Complete. Complete. Complete.
Complete.
You're too kind. Look, I'd like to buy it from you.
You're mad.
No, I'll give you $25 for it. This is for Shirovsky's class, isn't it?
Okay, look, I'll give you $50. It's my final offer. It's not for sale. Why not?
Well, for one thing, it wouldn't be fair to you, now, would it?
And so when do I care about fair?
That's true.
It's still not for sale.
Miss Grant's musical number turned out pretty cool. Yeah, it really did.
So I guess they're going to stick it in the time capsule, eh?
Nothing's really been decided yet.
Really? In that case, did I ever show you the award that I got for directing
Shining Lights? You know, it's probably my most prized possession. But you're
willing to give it up for the time capsule, huh?
Yeah, how'd you guess?
Psychic. Don't forget, Shining Lights did win a $20 ,000 grant for the school.
Hey, look at your name right behind the trophy.
Yeah.
Detail, detail.
Come on, I'm a perfect demo.
Think about it.
Poor Mexican boy, oozing with doubt, struggled to make his way to the big
to attend the school of his dreams. I know the story, Jeff.
And from the moment he arrives, things are never the same.
Yo, hip -hoppers, what's happening?
I feel so good, I've got to think. You've got to break the word and have no
fear, because you're in good hands.
Gotta get back to you on it.
Hang in there, man. These things have a way of working themselves out.
Remember, we're in our prime.
Hey, man, what's happening?
Man, who the hell is that guy?
After the singer, hook and dancer. If you got the question, I got the answer.
You may say the kid is new, but I got the best in store for you. To be strong
when there are fights. Cause I believe we got rights.
On your monster, ready, go.
Ride with the tide and go with the flow. Step right up.
Fred. Fred. What?
So what do you think? My trophy has a chance?
Truthfully, not a billion to one.
A billion to one?
Okay, a million to one.
That's better.
Thanks.
Here you go, worm.
This isn't going to work, you know.
What, you think Swarovski knows every song ever written, especially an obscure
14th century love ballad. That doesn't make it right.
Hey, I thought you wanted me to pass.
I don't like cheaters. I'm not cheating. I'm adapting.
You think it's easy to update these lyrics?
I hope you're proud of yourself.
Hey, look, I have a clear conscience.
Yeah. You're doing it.
Yeah. Can I see?
Uh, sure, sure.
I had a breakthrough.
And so we'll enter paradise, and you'll be my love forever.
Oh, Miltie, this is beautiful.
It's so romantic.
Yeah, it looks nice.
Promise me you're going to show me this when you finish, okay? You'll be the
first.
Good day.
I knew you could do it. Wasn't that beautiful?
It sure was. Miltie, I didn't know you were into 14th century ballad.
What? Now, oh now, I need them apart. Right.
I love that.
I would have thought you'd have such good taste.
See ya.
Miltie, you didn't.
I have no idea what she's talking about.
You did.
Look, Maxie, let me explain. Explain what?
I know you lied to everybody else, but I didn't think you lied to me.
What do you mean, lied?
Look at me and tell me you wrote this.
Well, not exactly.
But, I mean, I meant everything in it.
Because is it my fault that some guy thought of it first?
Everybody told me I was crazy to believe in you. And you know something? They
were right with me. Wait a minute. Let me explain. Explain to me. I've waited
enough time on you.
Hey. Hey, Mindy. I was talking to him.
Hi, guys.
Women.
What do they expect from a guy?
Faithfully, you deserve this one.
Why? What, does she want me to flunk out?
I tried to write a song.
Not everybody can be a poet, Lou.
So I'm shallow, big deal.
Hey, being shallow isn't your problem.
Okay, I lied.
And she did.
So what?
I mean, why can't she just accept me for what I am? Because she knows you can be
better than that.
I gotta get her back, Lou.
She's the only one who believed in me.
Then there's only one thing you can do, isn't it?
Mr. Dernsworth?
Has there been any choice about the time capsule?
Not yet.
We're having a meeting this afternoon to make the final decisions.
Good. Then there's no time for me to put in my two cents.
Absolutely. I'm glad to see you getting involved.
After all, how can you honor the school and ignore the teachers?
Good point.
I've had this baton for 20 years, ever since I got here.
Violins are on the way out.
It's the truth.
You don't need strings today.
Did you hear this, Mrs. Tosser?
I heard.
Orchestras need strings.
Orchestras are an endangered species.
Really, you can do it all on one instrument.
If you've got a keyboard and some oscillators and the right combination of
waveforms, you wouldn't need to make all these dinosaur tracks.
Dinosaur tracks?
Mozart made dinosaur tracks? You should make such dinosaur tracks.
He wouldn't orchestrate today. He'd overdub. He wouldn't need all this...
stuff and its figure -based business. I mean, it was probably necessary in
prehistoric days.
It was necessary in Leipzig. It was necessary in Dresden. It was necessary
the good old days.
Yes, the good old days.
Look, is this a school or museum?
I mean, can't we bury the dead?
I've buried mine, Mr. Martelli.
And I've taught music to other bright young men with big, brave mouths and
superior visions.
The music survived.
Well, I've got to get to class.
Miltie Horowitz is going to sing.
Oh, Miltie.
Amadeus.
Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus.
You ready for your big moment?
Yeah, I think so.
You are?
Is it any good?
I don't know.
Let's go find out.
All right, Mr. Horowitz, the stage is all yours.
Okay.
I wrote this song because... Because you had no choice.
Yeah, well, that and for other reasons.
I call it Trust Me.
We didn't quite hit it off just right.
So I thought I'd give you a call.
Getting off on the wrong foot, honey.
It's not getting off at all.
I've been walking a lonely street.
I've seen you walking it too.
If you're thinking maybe, listen to me, baby. There's only one thing you can do.
Trust me.
Give it a try.
Trust me.
Why would I lie?
Trust me.
Now what can I do for you?
Trust me.
If I need bail, you can trust me.
Checks in the mail, trust me.
And I just might trust you too.
So I ain't never made a big deal.
So I talk a little more than I should.
Don't believe that grapevine sugar.
Cause you know I'll do you nothing but good.
Came with me to the sea of love, baby.
And I should have done run aground.
Don't know what it is about me that makes you want to doubt me.
But I can turn that around.
Trust me.
Give it a try.
Trust me.
Why would I lie? Trust me.
Now what can I do for you?
Trust me.
You need a place.
Trust me.
Just look at this page and trust me.
And I just might trust you too.
Congratulations.
A very fine piece of work, Mr. Horowitz.
Ah, it was nothing.
Are you sure you want to become an agent?
Melty, I'm so proud of you.
Yeah, so am I. You know, for the first time in my life, I actually worked hard
at something.
Came out okay.
You see, hard work pays off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'd hate to make a habit of it.
I'll admit it.
You've finally become a real member of this school.
If you say so.
Leads us tonight to lose, my treat?
Yes, I'll be there.
I gotta go. I'm gonna be late for the meeting. They're gonna decide what goes
the time capsule.
Hey, I thought that was already settled.
Are you kidding me? Nobody can agree on anything.
See you later.
I still think they would have gotten a great laugh when they opened up that
capsule in 100 years. Why? They're not laughing at it now.
Isn't that supposed to be funny?
Well, hurry up. Write it down.
What are you saying? You don't like the tape?
Of course I like it, but how do we know they'll even have video in 100 years?
Well, then we just put a video cassette machine in there with it. Oh, but
wouldn't that be two items? We're only allowed one.
Trophy's one item. Nice try, Judd.
That's fake if you haven't found it yet. Yes, we have.
People, people, people, please.
Please, can't, can't we just pick one?
All of these items represent the school.
Yeah, but none of them really capture, it's sold.
Here, these two.
Take a look at these.
Hey, who do those belong to?
I don't think it really matters.
I think I've heard you over.
I believe you're right.
Melty, you will never see the two amazing men. Yeah, I'm a pretty amazing
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