Original subtitles

And three cool cats really fell in love.

Three cool chicks made triples up.

Hiring you as my choreographer was a terrific idea.

I'd like you to be the first.

Mr.

Goodman said that if I quit, that you'd all be fired. What? And you quit anyway?

I'd love to tell my friends about it. They'd probably be jealous.

Hey!

Thank you.

You got big dreams?

You want fame?

Well, fame costs.

And right here is where you start paying.

I'm Tony

I'm here to audition for the new TV pilot, Stiletto Teenage Spy.

Who's your agent?

I don't have an agent. I just dumped him.

You were in the color purple?

Yeah. I was like a way in the back.

I apologize about the delay. People were running a little late.

I need these rewrites right away.

If I don't find our lead soon, I'm going to scream.

Do we ever read actors without agents?

Never.

Look, uh... Keep the picture anyway, just in case, all right?

I will treasure it always.

These things cost money, you know.

Nick? I felt like a jerk.

I was humiliated.

You're a wonderful actor, Chris.

You'll get your chance. All you need is patience.

Yeah, well, I'm running out of patience. Then you gotta hang in there, because

you've got a lot to offer.

Excuse me, I gotta throw up.

Yeah.

Since when did you become such a big Donlon fan?

I just call him like I see him. That's right, man. She's being honest. Wait,

you're gonna tell me there's nothing going on between you two?

Come on, man. We're just friends.

That's it. Just friends.

Can you talk about chicks with her?

No. Well, can you tell her dirty jokes?

Well, how dirty.

Filthy. Bad taste.

I wouldn't choose to.

That settles it. Come on, let's get out of here.

I'm right with you.

You think we should tell him?

Tell him what? There's nothing to tell.

Sure there is. We're going together, right?

It was your idea in the first place not to tell them anything.

Yeah, it was a bad idea. I mean, these guys are my friends. I have an

to keep them informed.

You are so silly.

Busted.

Hey, I forgot my books.

Yeah, I was just telling Kate some of them dirty jokes, remember?

Tom, who are you kidding? You guys have been seeing each other for about two

weeks now. Everybody in school knows, man. God thinks we were born yesterday.

Three cool cats.

Parked on the corner in a beat -up car.

They're biting up a nickel candy bar.

Talking all about how sharp they are. The three cool cats.

Three cool chicks.

Three cool chicks.

Walking down the street just to swing in a hipster.

Splitting up a bag of potato chips.

And these three cool cats did a three big flip.

Three cool chicks.

Up popped the first cool cat. He said, man, look at that man. Do you see what I

see?

I want the middle chick. I want that little chick.

Hey, man, save one chick for me.

Three cool chicks.

They looked like angels from up above.

And three cool cats really fell in love.

Three cool chicks made triples of these three cool cats.

So what do you think?

I think hiring you as my choreographer.

was a terrific idea.

All right, guys, I'd like you to meet Mr. Goodman. He's running Elburn Stock

Company. We're all you guys will be working at this summer. I just want to

we're thrilled to have you kids with us. I love what you did here. I mean, the

sets, everything.

Yeah, well, we are pretty spectacular.

And a real bargain at 70 bucks a week, right?

Well, everybody, you were terrific tonight.

And I'll see you tomorrow.

I have a meeting with Mr. Goodman.

Mr. Goodman, thank you so much for this opportunity.

Don't thank me.

Thank Leroy.

He got you the job.

Bye -bye. Bye.

You didn't tell them.

Look, I'm not so sure the dancer would go for kicking back their salaries. I'm

not so sure I'd go for it.

I thought we agreed.

We did agree.

I've been thinking.

Now? Sort of unagreeing.

Look, Leroy, running a company is expensive.

I can't afford to pay 15 dancers.

Hell, I can't even pay you.

But we found a contract. Oh, you'll be paid.

Don't worry, I don't want to do anything illegal.

You just sign your checks back over to the company.

Mr. Goodman, that doesn't seem right.

Look, Leroy, money or no money, a summer stock credit is still going to look

good on your resume.

But if you're still unhappy, we can call it quits right here.

It's who you know, man. That's how you get anywhere in this world.

That's right, man. It is who you know. Yeah, well, I don't know anybody.

I entertain my daily please.

Hey, man. Thanks.

See, man, that's the whole problem right there.

So how do I go about meeting these somebodies, huh?

If I knew that, man, you think I'd be hanging out with you?

That's terrific.

Great.

What do you think?

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Are you kidding? Stroke of a genius.

Is he going to be a waiter?

Yeah. Mr. Ritter says it's a great way of making contacts.

Who's Mr. Ritter?

He owns High Society Caters.

I'm going to be working these real exclusive showbiz parties.

I can meet all kinds of influential people.

I don't know. It sounds kind of goofy to me.

That's what makes it so brilliant.

You're so funny.

You're funny.

We have something special Chris No Know

what

what I've been thinking

I'd like you to be the first first one

That first.

Yeah, are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Charles, how are you doing on your produce?

Not very well, Miss Mattingly.

The agency was supposed to send over a man to do the serving. He hasn't shown

yet. Oh, we both have trouble.

William Moore's agency was supposed to send me an actor, and he hasn't shown

either.

Please, God.

Hi. Don't give me hi, you're late. Let's get started.

Hey, ain't you up? Look, we'll talk later. Your script is over here.

My script?

Look, I think you made a mistake here. You're an actor, right?

Yeah, am I? That's all I need to know.

Let's go.

Okay, people.

Now, we're going to skip over that opening action sequence that ends with

terrorist bombing and goes straight to where Stiletto forces his way into

Manicotto's office.

Honey.

That's you, honey. Chapter page four.

Right.

Look, I have to see Mr. Manicotti right away. How dare you come barging into my

office?

I know this isn't any insurance company.

It's federal headquarters.

Finish the letter with your top counterintelligence agent. He was all

father.

I'm Tony Stiletto, and I know who killed him.

Hold it right there, Rant Frax.

I've rewired all the computer circuits.

If you touch that button, this whole place is going to melt down.

You guys thought your plan was brilliant, and it was, but not brilliant

You're not going to get away with this, none of you.

I'm wired. I'm a human time bomb.

One false move and I'll blow this place up, taking all of you with me.

It worked.

The script really worked.

There are a couple of rough spots, but I can fix them. The main thing is we have

got the hit on our hands.

What do you think?

I thought it was great. And you, you're like an angel from heaven.

I mean, you were sensational.

I can't believe you came here as a waiter.

I guess I should have told you right away. No, no, I'm glad you didn't. I

not have let you read.

You know what?

I'm going to set up an audition for you.

You mean that?

Oh, Chris, you're a natural. I want you to play Tony Stiletto.

All right!

Excuse me.

No, it's okay.

Guess I'm a little excited.

Yeah, me too.

Well, this has been quite a birthday.

This is your birthday?

4 -0.

You're kidding. You're 40? Come on, let's not rub it in. No, no, I was

something like 30 or something. Oh, see, I knew there was a reason I liked you.

You know, you're a pretty amazing kid.

I am?

You've got confidence, personality, talent.

You're going to be a star.

Yeah, well, I don't know about that. Trust me, I do.

You're real fine.

I'm glad you're the one to follow me.

But I tell you, Donald, contacts really just work.

Hey, were we right or what?

Of course we were right. It's a tough business.

Tell me about it. You get a break like that and you gotta jump on it.

Who's the producer?

I hardly know her. She just thinks I'm a good actor.

Obviously a very confused woman.

She must really like you.

Of course she does. How couldn't she?

So, um, tell us, when's the big audition?

Soon, man.

How soon? Real soon. Look, can't we talk about something else here?

Let's go for a walk.

What's wrong with him?

Come on, Chris.

They're our friends. I mean, they're just happy for you. They're excited.

Yeah, well, I'm excited too, you know, but I don't want to jinx it. That's all.

You sure that's all?

What do you mean?

I mean, if something's bothering you, you can tell me.

Nothing's bothering me.

You know, when I make it big, I'm going to buy you anything you want.

I don't want anything from you, Chris, except maybe you.

Does that make any sense?

No, but I'd love to hear you say it.

I'm glad I caught you.

I'm Laura Mattingly. Hi, I'm Kate Riley.

Can we get a minute?

Well, yeah, I guess.

Oh.

Okay, I'll see you inside later.

Nice to meet you.

I wanted you to have a copy of the final draft.

At least I hope it's the final draft. Any more rewriting and I'll look crazy.

I can't believe I'm jealous.

Jealous of what?

Your girlfriend's very nice.

Oh, she's really not my girlfriend, you know.

Oh, I thought you two were together.

I found so petty.

I don't have time for that stuff, you know.

I have a career to think about, right?

Pick it up from Mambo, sir. All right.

Mambo, session, five, six, Jesse, you're late.

Turn that off for me, please.

Thank you.

What did you stop for?

We just wanted to ask you one question.

Couldn't you have negotiated?

Come on, man. You're missing the point. We had a deal. No, you're missing the

point, man. That was going to be our first professional gig.

The man was a slimeball. He was trying to rip us off, Alaska.

I couldn't let him get away with it. So instead, we're all out of work.

There'll be other jobs.

What? Like making burgers at a fast food joint?

It's really terrific, man. Thanks for the help.

You got it off your chest?

Are you all right now? Is that it?

That's not it, is it?

He wants you to go with us to see Mr. Goodman. I'm going to go ahead and ask

for the job back.

You guys are willing to kick back your salaries?

It's still a professional gig, Leroy. Yeah, well, count me out.

Listen, man, we want to work with you.

All right, if that's your decision, I guess Mr. Goodman can find himself

choreographer. I guess so.

I hope there's no hard feelings.

There's something you all should know.

Without me, there is no job.

Mr. Goodman said that if I quit, that you'd all be fired. And you quit anyway?

Without asking us first.

How could you do that?

I don't believe it.

Look, I thought you'd all agree with me.

You were wrong, man.

You know, I don't know what just happened here, but it sounds like it's

outside matter to me, something that has nothing to do with the running of the

school. And I'm counting on you to keep it that way.

You didn't tell me if you were so attractive.

Well, that was bugging.

I was expecting some dumpy middle -aged woman.

Well, compared to you, she is.

I can tell how much she likes you.

Yeah, well, if she has to like me, how else am I going to get the pie, right?

You're not actually jealous of this lady, are you?

Well, she's pretty.

Yeah, but she doesn't see me that way.

Do you see her that way?

Of course not.

Really? Really.

Good, because I sort of made plans.

What kind of plans?

Well, for this weekend.

I found just the right place. What do you think?

I think you're great.

It's just that I've been feeling like you're not really with me lately.

Like sometimes I talk to you and you're not there.

You're right.

You're right.

It's just a damn career thing. You know, I've been thinking about it too much

lately, but not anymore.

No, no, it's important.

It's not as important as you, Kate.

Not when things are going to be different. I mean that.

Hi, Trill. Oh, I'm glad you dropped by.

Hey, girl, we got to talk, all right?

There's something you should know. No, there's something you should know. Your

audition's been set for Tuesday.

And the big news is you're not just going to read for the part. They're

give you a screen test.

Screen test?

Yeah, they're going to put you on tape.

There was a network rep here the other night, and he was very impressed with

your reading.

Now, the main thing to do is to get you prepared.

Have you been studying the script?

Yeah. Good, good, because I want you totally comfortable with the material.

you have some time, we can run lines.

Sure.

Look, I have to see Mr. Manicotti right away.

How dare you come barging into my office?

I know this isn't any insurance company.

It's federal headquarters.

Vinny Stiletto was your top counterintelligence agent.

He was also my father.

I'm Tony Stiletto.

And I know who killed him.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's green.

It's my aunt and uncle's cabin in the Adirondacks.

Look, there's a fireplace and everything.

Can't you picture us there?

God, it's going to be so romantic.

Chris, you still want to go, don't you?

Sure, I do.

How come you're not looking at me?

I've been looking at you there.

No, you haven't.

Well, I've been thinking about the audition.

Well, we can go late Friday afternoon, and we can spend the whole weekend

two whole days.

Yeah, that's going to be great.

Okay.

Well, I'm going to go to class.

We're the best.

Hey, hey, Don Lynn.

Hey, man, check it out. Do you still have that ad for High Society Catering?

Hey, we figure we can serve our way to Starland. Yeah, man, ever since you rode

Bluey with that summer stock deal, man, I ain't got a job now.

Yo, this could be bigger than summer stock.

All we needed was the contact Don Lynn got, and we're ready. So what up, man?

Firstly, man, I think you're both nuts. What happened to me was a fluke, and it

hasn't even happened yet.

What's up with him?

Who knows?

He's a star, right?

Come on, man. We got a phone call to make.

Yo, Ben!

You down to go again?

Go, man!

Hey, Chuck!

I want to go to Chuck together.

Come on, people. Pick up the paint and then leave.

Rocco, what are you doing over there? Get back in line, please.

Now, listen. Get the leg up. What are you... Hold it, people. Hold it.

That was the sloppiest combination I've seen in a long time.

Now, I hope you're proud of yourself. Tomorrow we come in here and we do this

again and again until you get it right.

Have a nice day.

Not very inspiring, is it?

That's their way of getting back at me.

Say it's working.

Maybe a little.

I write a lot.

Miss Grant, I did the right thing, didn't I?

Oh, I don't know, Leroy.

Only you'd know that.

Well, Mr. Goodman was trying to take advantage of us just because we're kids.

Hey, I'm not trying to defend Mr. Goodman. That man is a snake.

But you better think about where your friends are coming from. This was their

opportunity to get into the professional theater.

I know.

I couldn't accept the job.

I would have no respect for myself.

Self -respect is very important, Leroy.

But there are other realities in this business.

So what you're saying is that I was wrong, huh?

I'm just saying you made a very unpopular decision.

Can I ask you something?

What would you have done if he was in my place?

Hey, I don't know. I'm glad I'm not in your place.

Hold it right there, anthrax.

I've rewired the computer circuits.

One touch of this button and this place is going to melt down.

What are you doing, Chris?

It's supposed to be tongue -in -cheek. You're turning it into a melodrama.

I'm doing the best I can.

No, you're not.

Your concentration is shot.

Why don't we call it quits for the night, eh?

It's weird like this.

Your mother working you too hard?

No.

It's not going to be like this on Friday night, are you?

Are we talking about this Friday night?

Didn't I tell you?

I'm giving a party.

Can make it, can't you?

Oh, no, I kind of got something else planned. Oh, Chris.

Yes, you really should be there. It's a perfect way for you to meet some very

important industry people.

And if they like you, it can't hurt.

Mr. Velazquez, Mr.

Amatula, I've got a message for you from High Society Capers.

I've got a job for you. All right, babe. Here we come. Let me get this straight.

You two kids are all this revved up over a job as waiters? Yeah, see, it's a

good way to make contact.

How? Well, Miss Berg, you meet some of these guys and you offer them some pigs

in a blanket, yeah? And then you make sure you let them know that you're a

actor and boom, boom, boom, you're in.

You mean all of a sudden this person eating his pig in the blanket looks up

sees you for the first time and says, great balls of fire, I see a star.

Exactly. Throw up, boys.

Life's a little tougher than that.

to be canceling our weekend.

The producers really want to have this meeting. On a Friday night?

Hey, they work 24 hours a day. You know that.

Yeah, but you know how much this weekend meant to me.

Maybe I can have it changed, all right?

No.

I don't want to get you in any trouble.

What about next weekend?

After the audition's over and everything?

I can't get to cabin next weekend.

Chris,

there's just one thing that I have to know.

Am I still number one?

What do you think?

I just wanted to hear it from you.

Enjoying yourself?

Oh, yeah, yeah. This is great.

I'd love to tell my friends about it. They'd probably be jealous.

What the hell are you doing here?

Donlon, this is your party?

This must be the producer you were telling us about. Hi, I'm Danny Amatulo.

also an actor. Chris, how come you didn't tell her about me?

Donlon, are you working here too?

No, man, he's a guest.

Oh, would you like more girls?

I'll be over here if you need me. Yeah, all right. Hey, what's going on, man?

What do you think? We're trying to get discovered.

Yeah, I just served a partying man to the vice president of comedy at NBC.

No, man, that's nothing. I just met Bill Murray's fan. Are you serious?

This guy. Hey, how come I haven't met anybody yet?

What's she doing here?

No, man, she's trying to get her break. What do you think?

I think I better mingle.

I think success has gone to his head. I better know if this is such a good idea.

Hey, come on, we're meeting people, aren't we?

You call care for a truffle meeting people?

Now, wait a minute, she might be right.

The only way people are going to remember us is if we spill something on

Hey, it's worth a try.

I've got a better idea.

Excuse me. Hi.

Do you know another night?

Rita Franklin?

If I'm shattered I say the past

is the past And it no longer matters I've

made my mind up I can make it I'll be fine even if I've got to fake it

I'll keep surviving Another night without you

Would you care to dance? You better face it. You know, I'm a wonderful actress.

Are you anybody?

Lovely talent, isn't she? I sing to you now. Another night.

about that. Don't be silly. I'm going to tell you what I thought of it.

I'll be right back.

Hey!

Going somewhere?

No. I mean, especially... Good.

I have about a dozen people who want to meet you.

Kelly? Yeah.

Hey, I don't make you think you're bringing me down.

Take it.

I'm telling you, man, this waiter stuff is for the birds.

You know, we're dugging those trays around. It's hard work.

I'm telling you, people will be looking at you like you're a servant.

That's exactly what we are, man. Oh, man, but I ain't doing it no more

it's demeaning.

Darling, how did you demean yourself and still get something out of it? That's

what I can't understand.

Yo, what's with him?

That's something to do with Kate or something. How come she left the party

hurry? She didn't even wait to get paid or nothing.

Hey, man, why don't you guys mind your own business, all right?

Kate. Kate.

She doesn't want to see you anymore, Chris.

You really should try some of this cheesecake, Leroy. It's out of this

I'm sure it is, but I'm really not hungry right now. You don't know what

missing.

Look, I've been thinking about it. I don't care about the money. You can have

it. All I really want is my job back.

I'm glad to see you finally decided to live in the real world, Leroy.

Unfortunately, I've already hired another choreographer.

Come on, man. Please tell me you're joking.

Hey, how was I to know you'd change your mind?

Could you at least use my dancers?

This new kid's like you.

He wants to bring in his own people.

Can't you talk to him or something?

You know me. I don't like to interfere.

But I tell you what, to show there's no hard feelings, I use my producer's

muscle and get you in as a dancer.

You gotta be kidding me.

Hey, I'm doing you a favor.

I think I'll pass.

I wish you luck, kid.

Waiter, I'll have another piece of this cheesecake.

Nancy, would you call Tony and tell him these are not the outfits I asked for?

We're doing James Bond, not Dirty Harry.

Send it back.

It's Mattingly's office.

Oh, hello, Mr. Klein.

Give me that.

Big.

Uh -huh.

Wait, he wants how much?

Forget it. The part only works two days.

I'll offer to Gleason.

Okay.

Chris, were we supposed to have lunch?

No, no, I just stopped by.

Oh, I'm glad you did. I'm really busy. Could you come back in an hour?

No, I don't think so. This is really important.

Nancy, how are we doing on lunch?

I'll go get it.

From the look on your face, I'm not sure I want to hear this.

I don't know what to say.

How about dinner's off for tonight?

I'll get the message.

I nearly blew it.

I see.

Sorry you feel that way.

I thought that...

It doesn't matter what I thought.

Look, it was my fault. I thought that's what you wanted, you know, that it was

required.

It was what I wanted.

It was never required.

You should have had more respect for your talent, Chris.

And for me.

Look, I didn't want to hurt you.

I didn't want to hurt anyone.

Yeah, I think I'll get over this.

You know, you need to take a good long look at yourself.

Because if you wait much longer, you're not going to like what you see.

If you're worried about that audition, I'm not going to do anything to stop it.

I meant it when I said you were the best actor for the part.

That's the difference between us, Chris.

I never lied to you.

Trust yourself.

Trust yourself to do the things that only you know best. Trust yourself.

Trust yourself to do what's right and not be second guess.

Don't trust me to show you beauty.

Beauty may only turn to rust.

somebody you can trust.

Trust yourself.

You're on your own.

You're always one.

In the land of all that be.

Don't put your hope in an ungodly map or be a fake.

to know the way that will prove true in the end. Trust yourself!

Trust yourself to find the path where there's no ifs and whens.

Don't trust me to show you the truth.

Truth may only be ashes and dust.

You want somebody you can trust.

What you come here for, to tell me how much I screwed up, too?

I'm the last one to pass judgment on anyone.

Look, Leroy, for what it's worth, I think you were right all along.

I think you showed integrity, man.

Let me tell you something, Chris.

Integrity is way overrated.

I don't think so.

More important than any job.

Easy for you to say. You're about to become the star of some big TV show.

Yeah, but you still like yourself, right?

Guess so.

Then you won up on me.

What are you going to do now?

Nothing else I can do.

Just teach my class.

All right, everybody, cut the chatter.

Let's get right into position.

Melissa, make it cross.

Melissa, you're going to stand there all day or you're going to dance? Make it

cross. Music.

What is it, Chris? What could you possibly say that could pain you? I just

to say I'm really sorry. I know that, but for some reason, it just doesn't

things better.

Look, can't we go back to the way it was?

No.

We can't go back to the way it was. Chris, I'll always look at you

now. Yeah, but maybe I am different.

Really.

I like the old Chris better.

What about if I just give up the audition? Just forget about it.

You'd be giving it up for nothing.

Goodbye, Chris.

I really am sorry.

Really, I am.

I know this isn't any insurance company. It's federal headquarters.

Vinny Stiletto was your top counterintelligence agent.

He was also my father.

I'm Tony.

Tony Stiletto.

And I know who killed him.

So, what do you think?

I like him.

So do I. Then we've agreed?

There's one thing that bothers me. The look is wrong.

I was thinking the same thing. I want someone a little more vulnerable.

That last kid we saw was more of the type. Jeff Davies. He's my choice, too.

this kid's terrific.

Absolutely. I think you're making a mistake.

Donald has star quality.

Absolutely.

But I'm sorry, Laura. I think we have to go another way.