Original subtitles

Oh, no wonder Nicole's parents liked you.

I don't mean you're reading this wrong.

No, no, no. I think for the first time, I'm reading it right.

You're telling yourself that you got a chance with Nicole, that she likes you.

Then how do you know what Nicole's feelings are?

I know Nicole.

She cares about you as a friend.

From now on, me and you...

Our friendship's over.

You treat me like a thing to throw away.

A replaceable possession.

But you're a habit I need every day.

You become my...

Hey, man, every time we start cooking, you stop us. What is your problem?

No problem, man. It's just that the street version of Cyrano de Bergerac

be bigger than West Side Story.

I want it to be perfect. Hey, don't get carried away just because you wrote this

thing. Well, I kind of rewrote it from the classic.

What classic? The classic comic?

Don't make fun of him, Jesse. Cyrano de Bergerac is a very romantic play.

It's about a woman who is in love with the physical being of one man and the

soul of another.

Come here, man.

You know, I don't think I'm right for the part of the Cyrano dude.

Oh, come on, man. Who could play it better than you?

You come equipped with your own nose.

See?

Okay, let's take a break and we come back and we'll pick it up from the love

scene with Cyrano Roxanne.

Hey, I don't remember the love scene with Cyrano Roxanne.

Yeah, the one up on the fire escape. Will you tell me what to say?

And then I climb up there and I... So then that's your love scene, man. That's

not my love scene.

Hey.

Hey. Danny is really tight. It's not like him, Chris.

Something's bugging him, huh?

Yeah. What do you think it is?

I don't know.

I'm gonna find out.

Okay, you guys go ahead and practice without me.

What's the problem, Danny?

Who says I got a problem?

Come on, man. I'm supposed to be your friend.

You can tell me.

All right, listen.

I want the truth, okay?

Think I'm a good -looking guy?

What the heck are you asking me to head for? You want to know what the problem

was? That's the problem.

Oh.

Let me see.

Let me see.

I wouldn't say you're exactly good -looking. I'd say you're more cute.

Cute? Yeah, cute.

I told you you're cute, you amateur.

Spill your guts.

All right.

Give it like a girl who's totally out of your league. I mean, the chances of her

liking you are a million to one.

Uh -uh.

Wait, wait a minute. You ain't hung up on Holly, are you? No, no, no. Not her.

Somebody else.

And every time I'm around her, I just get like jelly.

Who is this chick?

Excuse me, guys. I've got to get my stuff.

No, we've got to talk about this stuff. I told you, Jesse, after rehearsal.

No, now.

It's her.

It's Nicole, right?

How'd you know, man?

By the way you looked at her.

You have it bad, huh?

What I've been trying to tell you.

That's another guy's woman.

She's taboo. I know that. Don't you think I know that?

You been carrying this torch around all year?

Just since rehearsal.

What am I going to do, darling?

You're going to forget about her.

It's not going to be easy to do.

So what are we going to do?

Why do we have to do anything, Jessie? Who cares if my parents don't like you?

I do. It's insulting, Nikki.

It's not as though you're not going to be able to see me or anything. I mean,

can talk to each other.

Yeah, but I can't pick you up at your house. I can't take you home. I can't

call you.

I'm the guy. I want my rights.

You're exaggerating.

Oh, now I'm exaggerating.

All right, look, why don't you call me tonight and we'll talk about it then,

okay?

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Um...

Maybe I better call you.

Go.

Oh, Mr. Morlock, there's a man out there who says he has a warrant for your

arrest. My arrest?

Yes, something about indecent exposure in a public place.

What? Louis.

Is this your raincoat, Morlock?

Well, it looks like my raincoat, but I'm not sure if it's mine. Sure, sure. Come

on, tell it to the boys downtown.

You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney.

Anything you say may be used against you. There's got to be some kind of a

here.

Well, well, still waters run deep.

I got you. You got me. You got me. You really had me going. What's it been, 20

years? 20 years.

You're putting on a little weight, aren't you, fella?

Me? You're pudging out yourself, bro.

That was my nickname in college.

Bob and I were roommates for four years.

You have my sympathy, sir. You must be some kind of a saint.

Oh, listen, let me make some introductions here.

Professor Shirofsky, Miss Sherwood, Mrs. Berg, this is Bob Demeter.

Hi.

So, uh, how's Dee Dee? Oh, great. She's just great.

Listen, we are going to be in town for just about a week. And we would like to

take you and the lady of your choice out to dinner. You've got the lady of my

choice. Hey, you're not still holding that against me, are you? You're damn

right I am.

My, my. So it's that Bob Demeter.

A hundred percent Demeter.

A hundred percent Demeter? What does that mean?

Some questions are better left unanswered, Miss Sherwood.

I'd love an answer. Oh, I could never tell. Mr. Morlock swore me to secrecy

I could never betray it. It's possible.

Sure you could, Mrs. Berg.

That's the story, Mrs. Berg.

Well. When they were in college, Mr. Morlock introduced Mr. Demeter to Dee

Then the two of them just up and got married.

So what?

Dee Dee was Quentin Morlock's girl and the only woman he ever loved.

Oh.

What did I do wrong? I mean, did I eat with the wrong fork or something?

No, Jesse, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just that my parents seen you with

a different type.

You know, they see you as somebody preppy or something.

I can be preppy.

I just need a little advance notice, but... You guys still ain't into that

with the cool parents, are you? Yeah, they don't think I'm preppy anymore.

Well, you're not.

But who cares, Jesse? Eden Costa likes you.

That's right, man. That should be enough for any man.

Ain't enough for this man.

Yo, man, how would you rather have it? The girl likes you and the parents hate

you, or the parents love you and the girl hates you? I want them both to like

me. Throw off the last. There's parents hate guys even before they meet them.

Especially the father.

You know, there's a simple solution to all this.

Get another boyfriend.

Thank you very much, Holly.

No, no, I'm serious.

But not like for real. Now, see, what you gotta do, you gotta find someone who

is so obnoxious, so disgusting, so thoroughly repulsive, that next to him,

Jesse's gonna look like a saint.

That's brilliant.

What are you trying to say? I'm disgusting and repulsive?

Danny, nobody's saying that. But you're the best actor in this school. You're

the only one who can get away with something like that.

That's true.

I am beginning to like this.

Hey,

wait a minute, wait a minute.

I don't think that's such a good idea.

Why not?

Why not?

Why not?

Because.

Because as the playwriter...

I don't think it would be good for the production.

Just my opinion.

So will you do it, Amatulo? No, he won't do it. Why, Chris?

Let Danny answer for himself.

Okay, tell him, Dan.

Danny, will you do it for me?

Sure. Yeah.

I'll never forget this.

I think you're getting in deeper than you want.

I mean, she needed my help.

Yeah, well, all I can say is you're playing with fire.

And I'm telling you that because you're my buddy.

Come on, Mr. Morlock. I don't like these pretend games.

Is it so much to ask? Game playing isn't my style.

I sure would.

I only need you for one night. Afterwards, you never have to see me

It isn't what you think, Mrs. Burke.

Oh, I didn't think it was.

Please, Michelle.

Why is it so important to you?

Because I don't want my best friend.

And the only woman I've ever proposed to in my whole life to know that after all

these years, I still have no one.

Why me?

Because you're somebody that I'd be very proud to introduce

as my fiancée.

Show me this tonight.

So soon? What did you think it was going to be? Yeah, man, we got to get this

figured out. Come on. Yo, I thought we were going to have a little more time

you know, get some strategy up. Well, that's what we're doing now, Danny. So

just remember tonight, concentrate on the vase.

She means vase. In her family, they call it a vase. Right. Whatever you call it,

it's blue, it's on the mantle, and it costs my parents a fortune.

So what do you want me to do, break it? I'll break it. No.

No. No, no, no, no, no. Just fondle it.

Danny, how do you fondle a vase?

Oh, man.

I can't handle this anymore. You see, none of this would have happened... I

know. I know. If I would just stand up to my parents.

You said it. I didn't.

Damn.

This must be pretty hot on you, huh?

Well, he's just so intense, Danny.

Well, that's because he likes you.

I know that, but...

Sometimes I wish you were just a little bit more relaxed.

You know, the guys got it tough.

I mean, if I was interested in you, which I'm not, but if I was and your

didn't like me, I think I'd go crazy also.

No, you wouldn't. I bet you'd handle it.

You seem to kind of roll with things more, you know?

Nicole!

See what I mean?

Coming!

That depends.

If the waiter just happens to put the check down on your side of the table,

say you're stuck with it. Well, it's not that I'd feel like I'd be stuck with

it. I just want to do the right thing.

Well, then you grab for the check no matter where the waiter sets it down.

Wouldn't that make it look like I was trying to be a big shot?

Then let him pay for it.

Yeah, but wouldn't that make me look like a cheapskate?

Hey, somebody's got to pay for it.

Maybe we could split it. When a waiter comes, I'll yell, Dutch treat. What do

you think about that?

Now, remember, Amatulo, the key words are growth and obnoxious. Okay. I can

handle it. And don't forget about politics.

Politics, right. They're Republicans, so I'll be liberal. Yeah.

Just don't overdo it, okay?

No, no. He's got to overdo it. How else is he going to make me look good? Well,

it's just that my parents are not stupid.

Hey, listen, listen. I'm an actor.

I'll be obnoxious just enough.

Now, just be yourself, man.

Come on. It's getting late.

Good luck.

Yo, Amatulo.

How are you?

the master plan.

Put the shop in the street, on the wall. We can dance up and down the hall.

Don't stop, let go.

Jump my lingo.

Gonna jump on a train underground.

Look at my pieces all around.

I come down here and spend my time.

Placing my bets in big time.

world apart but she can be tender in the dark the test of time will only

tell i guess i'll never know

I take it back.

You look even better now than you used to.

Hey, watch it there, Quentin. That's my girl you're talking about. Nobody knows

that better than I do, so don't worry.

Elizabeth here is a woman enough for anybody.

I have to admit, Clint, Bob and I were surprised. We were convinced you were a

confirmed bachelor.

Good evening, sir.

Well, somebody had to catch him.

Well, you're a lucky woman, Elizabeth.

Don't I know it.

Say, you want to get four little glasses of wine?

Quentin, why don't we just order a bottle?

I'll spring for it.

Waiter, the wine list, please.

Look, while you choose it, if it's all right with you, I'd like to ask

to stand. Sure.

I'd love to. Good.

Gorgeous, isn't she?

Yes, she is.

She's a lucky woman.

Are you just being kind?

No, I'm being honest.

I thought a lot about you over the years.

Now I know you're being kind.

I mean it.

I'm not happy with Bob.

And I don't think he's happy with me.

I don't think he loves me anymore.

You don't have to say anything. It's not your problem.

You're engaged to a beautiful woman.

I just have to live with the fact that 20 years ago when I said no to you and

yes to Bob, I made a mistake.

Forgive me for being so personal, Quentin, but I sense that you and

aren't all that close.

The wine list, sir.

Am I too late, Quentin?

Oh, that was a great meal, Miss Chapman. I mean, that was really great.

Of course, I'd rather have had lasagna.

Come here, Nicole, sit down.

You know, you should call up my mother and get the recipe. She'll give you some

good tips.

Thank you, Danny. I'd love to speak to your mother.

What does your father do, Danny?

Well, he's in business.

You know.

Oh, really?

What kind of business?

Well, we're not allowed to talk about it.

You know, shady things.

Shady things?

Mr. Chapman, I can level with you, right?

Absolutely.

My father's a gangster.

You know, he's in the mob.

That's it.

Danny, don't you just love Mother Blue Vaughn?

It's an heirloom.

Oh.

But first, I want to talk politics.

Right.

Danny happens to be the president of the Young Socialist Club at school.

It's really the Young Communist Club, but we're not allowed to call it that.

Mr. Chapman, what are your views on communism?

I mean, do you think it's a good thing?

Is this a serious conversation we're having?

Of course it is. Mr. Chapman, I take my communism very seriously.

No!

This is stupid, Nicole. I can't do this no more.

Oh, I don't know. I think you've been doing a pretty good job so far.

You didn't buy it, huh?

Well, since I went this far, I may as well go all the way.

Danny. No, no. Let me speak, okay?

Now, look, Mr. and Mrs. Chapman, you have a beautiful daughter here.

And she likes Jesse Velasquez. And he likes her. And he respects her.

See, I know this because I hang out with them and I see it.

But Jesse's very hurt because you guys don't like him.

See, I can't understand why you two are trying to break up two people who like

each other.

That's all I got to say.

I think you said that very well.

You made a very eloquent speech for your friend.

Well, I tried.

Nicole, I think I better be going now.

Miss Chapman?

Dinner was great.

Good night.

Good night.

I'm sorry.

This was real stupid.

It's all right, Nicole.

I enjoyed meeting that young man.

He's got a lot of character.

I'll say.

Why can't you find someone like him?

Yo, I see what's happening here, man. You dig my girl. I mean, out of your

Man, that's crazy.

No, I've seen the way you look at her. It's written all over your face.

I mean, I was just trying to help you out.

And besides, you're the only one she likes anyway.

Oh, yeah?

Then you look me right in the eye and tell me that you ain't hung up on her.

You can't, can you?

I don't dig you, girl.

Great! Great! That was the best I've ever seen it! Hey, that Danny really had

believing that he was hung up on Roxanne. And that's what they call

No, no, no. That's what they call writing. If it ain't on the page, it

the stage.

Remember that.

Looking good, huh? Oh, yeah.

Danny, I thought you were wonderful.

Yeah, you and your parents.

Jesse!

Hey, I'm sorry.

I guess I go over Google panels. I apologize.

I should be thanking you.

I mean, you said some really nice things about Jesse and me last evening.

That was easy. No, that was true.

Yeah, but it was the way you said them, you know?

I don't think I really knew you before Danny, but... You were very sensitive.

Your regular Cyrano.

Don't say a word, Donovan. You're kidding yourself, man.

About what?

You're telling yourself that you got a chance with Nicole, that she likes you.

Hey, man, how do you know what Nicole's feelings are?

I know Nicole.

She cares about you as a friend. Danny, a friend.

I mean, I happen to think she cares about me a little more than you know.

Look, do me a favor.

Be careful.

You're flying without a net, and it's a long way down.

Stranger things have happened.

You're dreaming, man.

Don, if we ain't got dreams, what do we got?

You are a photograph of everything I've dreamed.

You're living, breathing proof that dreams are what they seem.

I fantasize a life you share with me alone.

I'm right for you more than any man you've ever known.

my figure and my face you love the way I make you

feel when we embrace you take for granted we're

together we're a pair look in my eyes do you read

what's there you don't know

Scratch past surface and look.

I want to taste you slowly like a vintage wine.

You tell me what I do for you. It's not enough.

How I wish this could really feel.

And look for me.

I've tried to find love with you. Perhaps I can.

Yet when you look at me, you don't know who.

Kind of dreaming.

Mrs. Berg, have my test papers been in the ground? Oh, never mind that.

What's happened?

What happened?

Last night at the restaurant, your mercy date, Mr. Morlock.

What's the skinny?

What makes you think there's any skinny? Mr.

Morlock has been beside himself all morning.

Something's bugging him, and I've got to find out what it is.

You know, come to think of it, he was preoccupied when he brought me home last

night.

Mr. Morlock brought you home?

You didn't let him into your apartment.

Get serious.

Miss Sherwood, just the person I want to see. Can we talk for a moment?

Come in, Miss Sherwood.

Sit down, please.

Dee Dee Demeter wants me.

She does.

What about Bob?

I don't think I haven't been worrying about that.

We've got problems here.

We?

I don't want to steal my best friend's girl.

On the other hand, he did steal mine.

What am I going to do?

Mr. Morlock, you don't need me for this.

If you have a... Talent in this life is for making decisions.

And I'm sure you'll make the right one.

You mean that?

I do.

a tug -of -war between you and my parents. Well, then do something about

am trying to. No, well, quit trying and do something, Nikki.

Stand up to your parents. You know, all we ever talk about these days is my

parents. Can we change the subject, please?

No, I need to know now whether or not you have any guts. I'll show you my guts

when I'm ready.

Right now, I'd like to be alone.

You got it.

Hey, what's the matter?

Oh, Danny.

Hey, come on. Can't be that bad. What happened?

It's Jesse.

We had another fight.

Is that all?

Come on, Jesse's always wanted a girl who fights back, and now he got one.

Every time I feel down, I look around, and you're right there.

Somehow you always make me feel better.

You could have gone crazy without you these past few days. Come on.

You mean that?

Mm -hmm.

Thank you, dear.

Oh, no wonder Nicole's parents liked you.

That was the whole idea, right?

I don't mean you're reading this wrong.

No, no, no. I think for the first time, I'm reading it right.

Jeffy! Hold on. I'll get him.

Man, wait up.

Hey. Yo, man.

It's not the weight. Look.

She was crying, man, and she was dying. I was just trying to make her feel

better. That's all.

Yo, man, I ain't blind.

I've seen the way you look at her. Man, you're crazy.

Oh, am I? Yeah.

Then go ahead and look me right in the eye and tell me that.

Go ahead.

Tell me you ain't hung up on her.

Well, you got her, man. She's all yours.

From now on, me and you, our friendship's over.

Okay, guys,

tonight I surrender my script.

So don't mess up.

Remember, my name is on it. Yeah, you and Edmund are a stand.

Who's that?

That's the guy who wrote the actual play.

Oh.

Well, who wrote the comic?

Yeah, but forget that, darling. You know where my nose is?

No, I don't have your nose. Why don't you ask Jessie?

Forget it.

Hey, come on, guys. Why don't you call the truth?

You used to be such good friends.

That's right. You said it. We used to be good friends.

Yo, I'm a Tulo. I didn't cross over the line. You crossed over the line.

Line? Wait a minute. What line?

He moved in on my girl. No, no, I didn't move in on your girl. I wanted to, but

I didn't because she was your girl. Was? What do you mean, was? Because she was.

That's right, that's what I said, was. Come on, guys, cool it. Tonight is my

night. Okay, tonight is my night.

Yo, man, and I'd like to thank you not to sit on my nose. Get off my face.

Come on, cool it.

Hey, wait a minute, where you going?

To move in on his girl.

You know, Donovan, answer me one question.

Yeah, sure.

What are Nicole's parents seeing in him?

You ready for the show, Mr.

Kirk? Oh, in just a couple of moments.

Mr. Morlock isn't going to attend the performance.

I don't suppose you want to know why?

Not particularly.

Why?

He's going for it. He's meeting Dee Dee tonight.

Really? Shame on you, Mr.

Sharofsky. You weren't supposed to tell.

You weren't supposed to tell either, but you told me.

Hi. Is Quentin around?

Hey, Bob, what a surprise.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

You want to talk about bad timing. I'm just on my way to somewhere meeting.

It's kind of important.

Okay, let's go to my office.

Things certainly are heating up.

I, uh... I think I'm losing Dee Dee, Quint.

Dee Dee?

Yeah, I, uh... I think there's somebody else.

Somebody else, uh...

Boy, that could be rough.

Yeah, I just don't think she's too happy with me anymore, you know?

Why?

Well, 20 years of doing laundry, cooking meals, cleaning house.

That can make a woman feel there's some magic missing, you know?

Yeah.

But I love her, Quentin.

I love her more now than the day I married her.

Does Dee Dee know that?

Will you do something for me, Glenn?

Will you tell her?

Shouldn't you do that?

No, it'd be better coming from you.

Don't you think?

Danny, the curtain goes up in five minutes. Can't this wait till after the

Look,

I just had that with Jess again.

Again? But this time I don't care what he thinks.

You're a lot luckier than I am.

Danny, I'm sorry.

You know, if I only had the courage to stand up to my parents, you wouldn't

lost a friend.

And I wouldn't have lost Jesse.

Let me tell you something. There's more than one guy in this world.

I know.

Some guys might like you as much as Jesse, and some even more.

And you would never even know about it.

I'd know it.

You know, Cyrano loved Roxanne for 20 years.

And she spent her whole life in a convent. And she never knew about it

day he died.

Well, Danny.

Not everyone's as dumb as Roxanne.

You

don't

love me.

Oh, no, Didi, I do. I always have.

And you're going to let me walk out of your life a second time?

It's Bob.

Are you that noble, Quentin?

Bob wasn't 20 years ago.

He loves you.

I don't believe that.

If you did, if I could convince you, that would it make any difference?

not so noble that I'd give up a second chance with you if I didn't know how

he does love you.

How can you be so sure?

He knows about us.

You told him?

No.

He figured it out.

He sent me here to talk to you.

Now, do you know how much you have to love somebody to go that far?

He really sent you?

Yeah.

20 years, kid.

That's a lot of laundry.

I don't understand.

Yeah, I think you do.

Thank you, Quentin.

Any time.

Good evening, sir.

Will you be ordering for yourself and the lady?

No, just for one.

Kelly, you love her.

love you and and i want you to be my

woman and

i want you to be my woman that's better

and i'm sorry about the fight we had about your parents

I'm sorry about the fight we had about your parents.

Say it.

And I'm sorry about the fight we had about your parents.

What are they doing? I didn't write that.

Maybe they'll learn to like me.

Maybe they'll learn to like me.

Well, maybe they will and maybe they won't.

But it doesn't matter.

Because I love you, Christian.

I see what they don't.

You're a diamond in the rough.

You're from the street.

You're aggressive. You're strong -minded and tough.

You're a lot like my father was.

Only somewhere along the line, he's forgotten that.

But I intend to help him remember.

And I intend to let him know...

That if he loves me, he'd best learn to love you.

What are they doing out there?

I think our daughter is trying to tell us something.

And I'm sorry for being such a jerk and fighting with Cyrano.

And I'm sorry for being such a... Jerk and fighting with Cyrano.

And I'm sorry for fighting with Cyrano.

Because he's really my friend.

Because I realize that he's my friend.

Talk about compelling drama.

It's wonderful.

You wrote this?

Yeah.

Mostly.

Now go kiss her.

My pride is something I can't live without But

I'm not talking about submission Cause you know

how to turn me inside out How'd I get

in this position What you don't

know is

But I can break the rules

And the way I feel