Original subtitles

Previously on L .A. Law. My watch is missing and I want it returned now.

Try talking sense to Shuler's wife. Stole this divorce.

Otherwise we all lose. She told me about her accident and implicated Mr. Shuler.

What kind of man pushes his wife down the stairs?

Look, let me tell you something.

If you ever want to be considered my heir apparent, you better make up your

who you believe.

Should have had the guts to prosecute that case when the D .A. threw it on

desk. Hey, guts has nothing to do with this. The facts don't add up. This

court... Hereby finds probable cause has been established.

And the defendant is bound over on charges of felony child endangerment.

it! No, it's okay.

His gun's not loaded. Will you explain to them that I'm fine?

They put him back in the hospital.

Psychiatric ward. When the huntsman came back with the heart of a young dwarf he

had killed, the queen had assaulted and ate it, leaving it with no wife.

Cinderella. Little Red Riding Hood.

Tommy, I want to have a baby with you.

Roxy! Coming!

Rox, there's no more soap.

You better hurry up. We're both going to be late for work.

You know, I've been thinking.

Always meeting here at the Edgewater.

It's getting expensive.

I mean, not to mention the wrapped glasses, the sanitized toilet seat.

It's all so sterile.

Tough place to conceive a baby, no?

We both decided... I mean, I don't know. I think the holiday has me on edge.

Maybe we should skip out for a couple of days.

Just a minute!

Roxy!

Hi.

Morning, Miss Melman. Good morning.

We were out of cornflakes, so I brought you Oaties instead.

Oh, that's fine.

And tell Mr. Mullaney the Times wasn't delivered, so here's USA Today.

Plenty of colors. We could go to Cabo, do a little fishing, play in the sand.

Reminds me, forgot the banana for your cereal. Be right back.

I'll be home for Christmas You

can count on me Please

have snow and mistletoe

And presents on the tree

Christmas Eve

Find me where the low light

gleams.

I'll be home for Christmas

if only in my

dreams.

Can't guarantee snow, but maybe mistletoe.

Morning, Dr. Bernardi.

Sorry about these.

Last night you tried pulling out your IV.

I didn't have a good night last night. I had that dream again.

How are you feeling today?

My head hurts.

You must be having a reaction to the diazepam.

I'll have the dosage and see how you feel.

Feel like talking about your dream?

It's silly. What's the point?

Anything you can tell me will make my evaluation for the court more complete.

You think what I did was wrong?

My opinion?

Setting those dogs free from the shelter was an act of courage and sanity.

But I'm banana cream pie for animals.

I threatened someone.

Even if the gun wasn't loaded, that's not the way to get things done. The

important thing is you are not to harm anyone, including yourself.

All I have to fear is fear of myself.

I'll see you this afternoon.

That's your second piece. Who are you, my mother? I'm glad you like the

People, this is not a coffee clutch.

Oh, Douglas, you should really crush them. With due respect to Melina's

heritage, I'm not partial to Greek cuisine.

Oh, you've never tried my mother's spanakopita. And probably never will.

Back to business. Anne, where do we stand on Stewart's charges?

Arraignments today.

You really think that's wise, representing your husband? This isn't

discussion. Any chance he'll soon be released from the hospital?

Maybe. Can we move on?

Plowing ahead.

Melina, another recipe.

Oh, sure. Miss Taylor, is it your aspiration to pass the California bar or

the Pillsbury bake -off?

Next, while not official Mackenzie Brackman business, people versus Karen

Hastings. I go to trial this afternoon.

Things shaping up since last we spoke?

Well, I'm still looking for the smoking gun.

Let's not be cute.

Do you or do you not have evidence to convict this woman of child abuse?

At this point, the verdict could go either way. Obviously, the jury will

side with the mother. Why go to trial if you're not ready? Why go to trial at

all if you don't have a case? I agree. Even though you're still working for the

Attorney General, this could reflect badly on our firm. I haven't finished

unpacking yet, Douglas. Shall I look into staying on at the AG's office?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, folks.

I know that each of us has been under a lot of pressure, but this really isn't

what the season's about.

Selflessness gives center.

Center creates order.

Order creates harmony.

What should we all do now, Lao Tzu?

Hug?

Oh, please, now. Perhaps this would be a good time to present Douglas with his

present.

Merry Christmas, Douglas, from all of us. It comes as quite a surprise. I

don't know what to say.

To replace your old pocket watch.

Get serious.

That's the holiday spirit.

Ho, ho, ho. We're adjourned.

No, take it from me. The pine cone thing goes well with what you're wearing.

Romney! What are you doing here?

I'm trying to the city attorney's office, putting out feelers. My resume.

You can't still be angry. All he did was outwit you in court and send you to

jail. My conviction was an abysmal miscarriage of justice, not to mention

embarrassment to the constitutional rights of every free -speaking American.

Put that on your book jacket.

You're writing a book? What I do, Romney, is not up for your scrutiny.

But if you must know, I'm writing a roman of clay about the time I spent in

jail. I didn't realize my first case would bring me such notoriety.

You're not even a footnote.

Now beat it.

It's not fair.

It's the day before Christmas.

Well, we can't have everything we want, not even at Christmas.

Why did Mr. McKenzie give away the party money anyway? Because the firm made a

donation to help rebuild L .A. after the rioting. But I'd rather have a party.

Well, we can't, and that's all there is to it.

And put that in the kitchen.

Gwen.

Gwen, I have a little something for you.

But then again, who doesn't, right?

It's no fun having every pervert and wacko sniffing after you, Romney.

Merry Christmas.

I don't want your gift.

It's a token of my esteem. Low esteem? Look, I got work and I'm a little

Don't think I haven't noticed.

Maybe your ass is why you're being harassed.

Does this mean you're not joining me and my folks for chestnut stuffing?

In keeping with the holiday cheer, I'm calling security and having you thrown

out. Well, thank me later.

Cubic zirconium.

You've still no idea why she fell into the coma?

Or why she came out of it.

Medicine isn't an exact science, but she's doing much better now.

Her blood pressure's down, her weight is up, she's responsive.

Don't touch my daughter.

It's your fault.

You let social services take away my baby.

Isn't it enough that she's sick?

Why are you blaming me?

Mrs. Hayden, I am not at liberty to discuss this case. You are out of

If you honestly cared about protecting my child, you wouldn't keep us apart.

We'll leave you and Janie alone.

How often does she visit? Every day.

Playing games with Janie, laughing, peekaboo.

Is there always someone in the room, a nurse, an orderly?

This is a hospital, not a bed and breakfast.

Still think she's guilty of child abuse?

I just can't prove it.

How about you discuss your dream?

I'm on the first tee at the Riviera.

Way high up above the fairway.

Well, I'm...

Pretty fair athlete.

Actually, I'm not a bad athlete at all.

You know, they say golf is a little man's sport.

Anyway, I'm in this force.

There's Leland and Benny and some other guy that I don't recognize.

And they all take their turn. You know, they get up, smack the ball right down

the middle of the fairway.

And then it's my turn.

What happens?

I'm not feeling very confident.

I've played golf enough times to know that it's pretty scary standing on the

first tee at the Riviera.

Why is that?

Well, you know, you're not warmed up, and everybody's watching you.

Something wrong?

I just remembered that Anne is my caddy.

She's screaming at me to hit the driver. I want to hit the three -wood. The

three -wood is much safer, and she hands me the driver anyway.

So it puts me all out of sync.

And my palms start sweating, and I'm losing my grip. I try to play anyway,

sense that everybody's impatient with me.

And it's screaming at me, hurry, hurry.

And I try to move fast.

But I'm in that slow motion thing.

I finally get the ball teed up.

And I can't take my backswing because everything's closing in on me.

Because I'm in this closet.

All alone.

So what do you mean?

What do you think?

You tell me.

I don't know.

Well, you're supposed to know.

You're the doctor.

Gwen, since your family is away for the holiday... How did you know that?

You told me last week.

If you don't have plans, I thought you might like to spend Christmas Eve with

and Lucy.

Will you talk to me, please?

What did I do?

Daniel, leave me alone.

Look, son, I'll be back later this afternoon.

What does anybody really know about him? Besides the fact that he's a wonderful

father, a great litigator, and generous to a fault?

Nothing. That's what I mean.

He's too perfect.

Obviously, Daniel has a dark side. We just haven't seen it.

What are you talking about?

All those sick gifts, the phone calls, Roxanne. I think he's responsible.

Oh, Melina, this is Joanne. Oh, thank you, Roxanne.

No name, no return address?

Hope it's not a lump of coal.

What could Mrs. Hastings be injecting into her daughter's IV?

Not a clue.

She looks a little nervous, though.

And you have no idea who sent it? No, the receptionist said someone left it at

her desk.

Well, I'm going to find out what this woman's up to.

Something's not right here.

Whoever did send this to me knew exactly what I wanted for Christmas.

Appreciate whatever you can do, Tommy.

See them for giving it in. Let's go, counsel. I still have Christmas

Tommy Mullaney for the people, Your Honor.

Ann Kelsey for the defense.

How does your client plead, Miss Kelsey?

No contest.

Your Honor, people recommend a suspended sentence.

The defendant was carrying a sealed weapon which he drew on an innocent

at the animal shelter. I have an affidavit from said employee stating

suffered no injury, Your Honor. That doesn't mean jack straw to me, Miss

I treat brandishing a .44 Magnum as a little more than just a breach of

etiquette. Your Honor, my client... has surrendered his firearm to the police.

Goodie. Give me some reason to suspend sentence.

Defendants know prior history and... Your Honor, my client was recently the

victim of a vicious assault and is living in fear for his life.

He has yet to regain full mental faculty.

But to that end, he's working very hard at his rehabilitation and requests

leniency in sentencing.

What Mr. Markowitz did was a serious offense.

In light of the circumstances and the evidence presented, however, I shall

suspend sentence.

Miss Kelsey, inform your client that if he appears in my courtroom again under

these same circumstances, I shall not be so understanding.

Next case.

Enjoy.

Happy Hanukkah, Becker. You swore to me that Beatrice Shuler could walk.

Only I pick her up, she falls to the floor like a sack of potatoes. You're

me, Ben. I don't know what for. Help yourself to some kichelach. I don't want

food. I want the truth. The truth? Which version? Your material's getting stale.

And for all I know, you're lying about your partner's divorce threatening to

bring down worldwide like a house of cards.

You play canasta or are you a gin rummy man? That's it. I'm through. You'll get

my bill. Good luck finding yourself another puppet.

Pinocchio wasn't a puppet to Geppetto.

Excuse me?

A man works a lifetime, seven days a week.

What's he have to show for it? Old sound stages, lazy writers, and a few

colorized movies in someone else's library.

Pathetic.

Arnie, you've become like a son.

But I can't solve this problem alone.

You still haven't told me what it is you're trying to solve.

If I lose this studio, I lose my life.

I need you to buy me time.

Looks like Mrs. Shuler will demand to have Worldwide's books opened in the

divorce.

Then you'll have to meet Shuler. Up to now, you wouldn't let me speak with him.

What changed your mind?

There's no other choice.

Is Mr. Shuler in his office?

No, he's out of town.

You'll have to wait till after the holidays.

Becker, I know it's frustrating, what with all the delays, but it's for the

best, believe me. I hope this time I can believe you.

At this time, Your Honor, the people introduce into evidence a videotape

by a surveillance camera in Janie Hastings' room. Your Honor, this is

and completely prejudicial. Counsel, approach the bench.

Miss Parris, did you have a warrant?

The camera was installed by the hospital. The only reason they would

it... I'm inclined to...

On what grounds? For starters, violation of the Fourth and Fourteenth

Amendments. Your evidence was obtained illegally.

I bring to the court's attention the Supreme Court case, Bordeaux v.

McDowell. They rule that the Fourth Amendment does not apply to evidence

obtained by a private party, one not under the employment or direction of a

enforcement agency.

This is clearly a Fourth Amendment case, therefore a warrant describing what was

to be seized should have been obtained. I appreciate the civics lecture, Mr.

Highgate, but it's not so obvious to me.

I'll review the cases and make my ruling. I assume you can authenticate

evidence, including your own affidavit that you had no prior knowledge?

Absolutely. Oh, you might also look up an emergency exception to the fourth.

State versus hunt.

Court is in recess.

Things stacked up in X -ray?

The orderly said it shouldn't be much longer.

Hmm.

I have some time.

Feel like talking?

You figured out my dream?

Stuart, literal interpretation isn't important.

It's the way the dream takes you.

You've been living with it for months. How does it make you feel?

I told you I don't know.

On the surface, my life is about playing just inside the rules, you know?

Like my job. I'm a tax attorney.

So I find shortcuts and loopholes so that people can minimize their taxes.

But what taxes?

Taxes are a means of paying for hospitals and teachers and highways and

Things that should be available to people, right?

But they're not.

I mean, I think some of the problems that led to the riots were caused

people in South Central L .A. weren't given their fair share.

Are you saying you helped cause the riot?

No.

Yeah. We're ready for them now.

I don't know.

Let's do it.

The riots weren't your fault.

You didn't deserve getting attacked and beaten.

Hey. Hi.

Ready for lunch?

Mm -hmm.

Before we go... Try this

one. Sam, what are you doing?

Ooh, the color makes your eyes so green.

What do you think?

I don't know.

It's your Christmas present. What kind of gift is that if I already know what

I'm getting?

Well, I want to make sure it fits so we can make the exchange at the store on

our way to lunch. Well, next time, don't wait till the last minute, okay?

Please, try it on. You try it on.

Why are you being so stubborn? Roxanne, I told you a week ago, don't buy me

anything for Christmas.

What's the matter, Tommy?

Never got the bicycle you always wanted? As a matter of fact, no.

Well, I'd like to give you something. So give me the sweater or the bike or not.

Just leave me out of the process, huh? All right. I won't buy you a present.

Fine. Fine. Forget I brought it up.

Fine. Can we go to lunch now? I'd like to stop by the store.

Roxanne, I told you to leave me out of it. Not a problem.

I'll go alone.

Currently, I'm chief of psychiatry in residence at Cedric Hospital.

Have you reviewed Janie Hastings' file?

Yes, and nothing in it leads me to believe that Mrs.

Hastings was anything less than a caring, loving mother. Still, there's no

denying that her daughter's been doing better in the ten days she's been out of

Mrs. Hastings' care.

Do you have a medical opinion as to the cause of Janie's illnesses?

Yes. Her mother. Can you explain?

The videotape... Your Honor, the defense again renews its objection on the

admission of said videotape into evidence. Mr. Highgate, I've made my

Ms. Paros, continue.

How has this videotape changed your diagnosis?

It helps confirm that Mrs. Hastings suffers from a condition known as

syndrome by proxy.

It's child abuse, wherein a parent...

feigns or manufactures illness in the child.

So the court fully understands.

You're contending that Mrs. Hastings has been deliberately making her daughter

sick. Oh, yes.

Objection leading the witness.

Overruled. It's an unusual form of abuse designed to have the child subjected to

unnecessary diagnostic tests and treatments.

Why would a mother do this?

Typically, parents who perpetuate Munchausen's are themselves diagnosed

hysteria, sociopathy, and narcissistic or borderline personality disorders.

Do you have any doubt about your diagnosis, Dr. Lawrence?

After viewing the videotape, absolutely not.

Thank you.

Dr. Lawrence, are you an expert on Munchausen's syndrome by proxy?

Yes, one of a very few.

It's an under -recognized illness. And yet, without even an examination, you've

labeled my client as a sufferer of this under -recognized illness. Sure you're

not a victim of your own expertise?

In Mrs. Hastings' case, there were discrepancies between history, clinical

findings, and general health of the child.

What's more, Janie's seizures and accidents were witnessed only by Mrs.

Hastings. I think you're reaching, Doctor.

There's a very sick little girl and no one can figure out what's wrong, so you

plug in some bizarre diagnosis to implicate my client. What's the saying

medical community?

Think horses, not zebras.

Objection. Badgering. Withdrawn. Nothing further.

Nice car.

Thank you.

What the hell are you doing? Cobra drive. Hey, pal, if you want money...

green.

And if you don't keep the revs above three grand, the engine bogs down in

seconds. How about gas? What kind?

Unleavened. 92 octane or better.

Expensive. Maybe you should be stealing something more economical.

How about a Honda or a Toyota?

An American automobile. You know, we're building more efficient, reliable... A

Porsche was on the top of my wish list. Right.

Whoa. Get on the freeway.

Look,

you can have the car.

I'll even join a free ticket guest. Just let me out. What do you say? Jump on

the freeway and change this music. I hate classical music. It's so old.

Mind if I ask where we're headed?

Las Vegas.

Christmas in Vegas?

Drive.

What is it, Douglas? I have something to say about my gift.

Happy to hear it.

Hope you saved the receipt.

How can you be so ungracious?

It's easy. My pocket watch was an heirloom, passed down by my father from

father, from his father by... Yes, Douglas.

I've broken the legacy.

And you can't replace history like that with something store -bought.

However misdirected, I appreciate the sentiment.

If my father were here, he wouldn't be angry.

Disappointed, which is much worse.

I let that watch slip from my grasp.

And now, my book as well.

No, I thought you were on the final chapter.

My ghostwriter turned into a ghost.

Roger disappeared.

Now I'll never see how my life story ends. Douglas, you have so many things

be thankful for, beginning with your freedom.

I just received a court notice delaying Daniel's appeal for the release of Frank

Osgood. Now there's a man that's going to spend his 34th Christmas locked in a

jail cell alone.

Well, Leland.

You put him there.

Gwen!

Gwen!

Oh, now I know why I never use this machine. Always eats my quarter.

A man would rip it right off the wall.

Why is it when they can't deal with their emotions, the response is always

primal? I don't know.

I made a real mistake getting involved with Daniel.

Daniel isn't sending you those weird gifts.

Are you relying on intuition?

Well, that and the fact that my desk is right outside his office.

Sometimes I hear him cooing to the baby, talking on the phone.

Behind that stoic mask is a man hiding a lot of pain over his wife's death.

Why is it men are afraid to show any weakness?

Maybe deep down they're all just little boys who don't know what they want.

I'll give up.

Oh, you shouldn't.

And if you're interested in Daniel, he deserves a second chance.

No, I mean I give up on this machine.

I'm going to go.

I use the ladies' room across the hall. Thanks for your advice, though.

Couldn't I have taken a dose myself?

Daniel. Oh, my God.

Santa comes but once a year, and then it's down the chimney. You kiss me.

Lean in, lean out.

You really know how to drive a guy wild.

What are you doing back anyway?

Just dropping off Christmas gifts to go along with my resume. Can't hurt, right?

You ever approach me again, and I will knee you back into puberty.

Okay, but first can I have the ring?

I spent the last of my savings on that diamond.

Diamond. 2 .5 carats. Could get Bugs Bunny through the winter.

Romney, listen, I have to get back to you on that ring.

Here's your x -rays from the latest MRI.

Tell me what you see here.

Looks like a butterfly.

Joking. It's a cyst, probably formed post -traumatically during the healing

process. And now it's placing pressure on your brain, causing misfiring, known

as uncinate fits.

Is that why I felt that confusion?

As well as the anger, the olfactory hallucinations, yes.

What about my memory?

You'll always have some loss.

Can you operate?

May not be necessary.

I'd like to start you on a drug called Dilantin.

It should reduce the swelling and hopefully shrink the cyst.

And as your recovery progresses, we'll gradually taper the medication.

He'll be back to normal? Once the growth is gone, we'll take you off the

Dilantin altogether.

You shouldn't have any more of these problems.

Oh, my God.

That's wonderful.

I'll start the paperwork for Stuart's release.

Sweetheart, I'm so happy for you.

For us?

Me too.

You know, carjacking's one thing.

Grand Theft Auto, two years prison.

But assault with a deadly weapon, kidnapping, you're looking at four to

years easy.

I'll take my chances.

Besides, now I know a good lawyer.

Maybe we should get back on the interstate.

What are you doing throwing your trash out the window like that? We're in the

middle of nowhere.

All the more reason. No one's around to pick up after slobs like you. Pull over.

To the side of the road. I didn't stop.

Pull over. Come on.

I'll follow.

Go.

Go.

Come on. You can't leave me out here. It's freezing.

I could catch pneumonia.

Please, for a moment, be still. Discover your inner security.

The more material possessions you acquire, the more material possessions

might lose. Is that owning or being owned?

Beats me.

Roxanne. I need to speak with you.

Ah, gee, I'm pretty busy.

Doing what? There's no one else here. Well, you know, I can get a lot done

it's quiet. I think you're full of baloney. Pardon me? I need to know

bothering you.

Nothing. You were the one who wanted a relationship.

You can't have a relationship if you don't talk to the person you're supposed

be in a relationship with. And I'm telling you, there is nothing... I know

better than that. What, do you think you're inside my head, huh?

You're not. Don't yell at me. That's what I do. I yell. You're the one who

listed all my great qualities. I got lousy ones, too.

Are you trying to prove I was wrong in asking you to father a child? I am

to let you see who I really am.

You're working too hard at it, Tommy.

Merry Christmas.

Mrs.

Hastings, is it true your child's been severely underweight most of her life?

Janie's condition is known as a failure to thrive. I know what your doctors have

listed. What about witness accounts who claim you've only given Janie breast

milk? Well, whenever my daughters try baby food, she breaks out in a rash or

gets diarrhea.

That's not what the nurses say at the hospital.

Well, occasionally she'll tolerate more than just milk.

But you can look over the pediatrician's records.

Pediatricians, particularly those dealing with children too young to

on parental reportings. True?

Yes. That gives you open license to fabricate symptoms.

Objection. Sustained.

Mrs. Hastings, why is it your first child had three pediatricians, your

five? In particular, it's not uncommon for a mother to have difficulty finding

doctor that she likes.

But isn't it true in your case, when your pediatricians became suspicious of

your reports, you moved on?

Objection assumes fact, not in evidence. Withdrawn. Mrs. Hastings, you're

diabetic? Objection.

Relevant. Latitude, Your Honor.

I'll allow.

And as a diabetic, you regularly give yourself shots of insulin.

True? Yes. Tell me, what would a shot of insulin do if injected into the system

of a non -diabetic?

You were a nurse once. Certainly you have some idea.

Depending on the amount, the non -diabetic could be rendered comatose.

true what's seen in that videotape is you causing the coma -like effects of

hypoglycemia? Objection! What are you implying? You lied about Janie's

condition. Falsified report.

Deliberately induced life -threatening symptoms. I would never do that.

Objection, Ms. Paros. Your Honor, medications are carefully recorded at

Hospital. There was an unaccounted -for syringe with traces of insulin found and

discarded. I haven't done anything wrong.

Mrs. Hastings, it's in the videotape. I was adjusting Janie's IV. You were

injecting your daughter with insulin. Isn't that what you were doing?

And you've done so on more than one occasion. Isn't that true?

What? Those puncture marks on Janie's thighs weren't caused by pins left in a

new pair of pajamas, but a... needle. No, I'm a good mother.

Fortunately, your daughter will make a full recovery, but you killed your son

the very same way. Isn't that true? I'm a good mother. You're not, Miss Price. I

am. I take care of my children. You hurt them.

Objection. Miss Price.

You hurt your daughter.

You killed your son.

He was only supposed to get sick.

He wasn't supposed to die.

Your Honor, I request that you... Pardon me.

Oh, with such a large office staff and so many people sharing their goodies,

food certainly adds up. I told my mother what Douglas said about Greek food.

She took it personally.

Oh, mother taught him a lot.

Bless her, she even made moussaka.

Congratulations on winning the Hastings case.

Well, it wasn't much of a victory.

What kind of future will that little girl have? No family?

At least she will have her future.

Justice was served.

The only person I told about that verdict was Janie's doctor at Cedric's.

I have a friend on the hospital board.

They just called.

You had that camera placed in the children's ward.

Had I told you, I would have risked tainting the evidence.

That took courage, Leland. Thank you.

For believing in me.

Welcome to Mackenzie Brackman.

Lucy, I know she lost her other one.

She loves Elmo. Thank you.

Look, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Whatever that means.

I don't know anything about you, yet you're always so nice, so solicitous.

Are you the one that's haunting me?

What makes you think it's me?

Enough fairy tales, Daniel.

Cinderella's glass slipper, red writing on its cloak.

There's no white heart.

No wonder you've been avoiding me.

Gwen, I would never do this.

I know it's pretty insubstantial evidence. I've been so off balance

Me too.

When Allison, my wife, when she was pregnant, used to talk

about all the wonderful things we were going to share in our baby's life,

especially Lucy's first Christmas.

Allison really loved the holidays.

She'd see something in a store and have to buy it right then and there because

it'd make the perfect gift for her sister or my mother all year long. Every

I'd open a closet, somebody else's present would fall out and hit me on the

head.

You were the first woman I kissed since she died.

Becker, what are you doing in the middle of the desert, waiting for the fourth

wise man?

Don't flatter yourself.

You know, there are coyotes out here.

Rattlesnakes, too.

I'll take my chances, but I'm sure you'd feel right at home.

Such hostility in such a holy place. I'm sure it's no coincidence, the

carjacking. Our crossing paths like this, so I'd appreciate it if you'd just

my car back.

A joke's a joke, but I'm tired of being the punchline.

Look at all those stars.

More than on Hollywood Boulevard.

Moses wandered 40 years in the desert. If he'd had a compass, how different the

world would be.

You're mixing up your holidays.

Baker, I don't know why we've run into each other. Kids met, who can tell?

Why are you whispering?

No one's around for hundreds of miles!

Listen.

What do you hear?

The wind.

That's right. And powerful changes are about to blow through. This is big. But

because you're an honest and honorable man, I've been reluctant to compromise

your professional ethics regarding worldwide studios. What? A merger? A

What? You're warm.

I wish I was.

Pending your meeting with Eric Schuller, I want you to join me at the studio.

No more jokes. You'll be looking for hot properties, green lighting movies. With

your youth and my savvy, we'll be unbeatable. You are going to be a major

in Hollywood.

How major?

I'll tell you on the drive home.

Squeeze in.

Baby, what in the world are you doing?

Huh?

Don't you know Santa knows when you're sleeping?

He knows when you're awake?

Something I always thought was kind of scary.

Gosh, you sure look good, though.

When I couldn't sleep, my mom used to sing me something.

It was a lullaby.

Can you hear it?

Something certainly smells good.

I don't know what this stuff is called, but I like it.

Pass me a plate, Benny.

Good night, folks.

Where are you headed?

Home. Alone? Nonsense. Come with me.

Share a goose with Sheila and the boys. But first, try this.

Hey,

everyone.

Whoa, who's the cook? Melina's mother.

We hired the wrong relative.

Where is Melina anyway?

Last time I saw Paris, she was on her way out.

Hey, look.

The gang's all here. Hey, Stuart.

Hi, Leland. How are you?

Good to see you. Good to be back. I understand all charges were suspended.

Uh -huh. You never know when you'll need a friend in the DA's office.

How are you feeling, Stuart?

I'm feeling just great. No more headaches? No, none. I'm feeling fine.

Let's not talk about my problems. We've got a party here.

Yeah. Finally. Who's heard from Jonathan? According to his itinerary, he

be in Mozambique. Mr. Bregman, your watch.

Lincoln found your watch.

Hey, Lincoln. Good dog, Lincoln.

Now this calls for a celebration.

While we're gathered... Leland, you just can't help yourself.

Friends, family, I wish you a healthy and a prosperous new year.

May the saddest days of your future be no worse than the happiest days of your

past.

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Merry Christmas, Ben. Merry Christmas, everybody.

Merry Christmas.

Who can I help?

Merry Christmas, Douglas.

Here we are again. I'm glad you came.

I didn't want to be alone tonight.

Rox, I don't know what this holiday is all about.

For you, it's reliving warm, fuzzy moments.

For me, my memories are of a drunken father,

a crying mother, and a terrified baby brother.

Actually, Christmas, New Year, and my old man's birthday were the best days of

the year.

He was too drunk to catch me and smack me around.

The funny thing is, I always felt like I kind of deserved getting popped.

You're a sweet, wonderful person. You deserve good things, Tommy.

I can't convince you of that.

You have to convince yourself.

I'm trying.

Scat's on her.

And I'm no quitter, Rox.

Me neither.

Merry Christmas. I didn't buy any.

I took a home pregnancy test.

It's blue.

It's blue.

We're going to have a baby.

We're going to have a baby.