Original subtitles

Last season on L .A. Live.

I'm so sorry, Tommy.

It's my fault.

Excuse me, guys.

I know we're finished, our lives are separate, and I'm happy for you. I want

so much to be happy.

But seeing you with somebody else, my heart's in a million pieces here, and I

can't help it. I've been asked to serve out Art Middleman's term on the city

council. Wow. What an honor. It's a five -month appointment. I'm not considering

running for a seat.

Are you saying I should hide the fact that I'm seeing a white woman? Of course

not. But you might want to consider the timing of this kind of personal

revelation. I understand.

I want us to be together emotionally, but I never said anything about getting

married. But that's where we're headed.

I don't want to string you along, so... You're breaking up with me, aren't you?

Mind if I take this off?

I'm hot.

You always were my biggest fan.

Carpe diem.

Which is why I've decided to get married.

To who?

The former Mrs.

Brackman. Sheila?

Because my life is a mess right now, I let you convince me to lie.

I'm going to the judge.

He's got a gun!

Looks like another perfect day. I love L .A. Arnie. Rox, I'm a new man. A little

randy, maybe. Arnie, there's... Getting rid of the deadwood, huh? Just make sure

I get proper billing. Arnie, you can't go in your office.

Oh, not more water damage.

I've called security.

Rox, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when the toilet upstairs

gets plugged, call maintenance. Arnie, what I'm trying to say is... The circus

is back in town.

Rodolfo, the cape, the goatee, divorce becomes you.

Prepare to die.

Listen, I'd love to talk, but I am really jammed this morning.

I'll fit you in. I have lost everything.

But you agreed to the settlement. My life has no value.

My family name is dishonored.

La Serpe de la Lune is in ruin.

Rudolfo. Rudy.

This is a common response to a painful situation.

What you're feeling is a diminished sense of self. Call it a lack of

Let's be reasonable.

Masha, open the trunk.

Oh, wait a second. I think you're making a mistake.

In fact, I know you're making a mistake. My only mistake was trusting you. Hey,

pal, I did my job.

You're the one who found your wife high -wiring it with the trapeze act.

Ciao.

Thank you. Well, I'm glad we all got that out of our system.

I know I feel better.

No, no!

This has gone far enough.

One knife remains.

Rox, do something.

Like what? You have destroyed my manhood.

Now it is my turn to destroy yours.

For the love of God. Rox, close the trunk.

Close the trunk!

Always good to start with a clean slate, Leland. If you say so.

Leaner and meaner law machine.

A clear reflection of the times. Well, all well and good, but perhaps we've

short -sighted.

I can't help feeling we must be doing something wrong with all the comings and

goings this past year. We should

install a revolving door.

You were the one who showed Grace Van Owen the great white way out and agreed

pay for her move to New York. Well, consider it Grace's going away prison.

Then I never should have sent her the picture, friend.

Who ate my bran muffin?

Unusual neckwear, Benny.

My Swiss cheese tie.

Oh? Where'd you get that?

Wisconsin?

At the novelty shop.

It's not real.

I was making a joke.

Oh.

We've made mistakes, Douglas.

Misjudged character.

Although I admit I'm glad the firm no longer functions and Susan Bloom

shattered. Frankly, I'm going to miss her.

She was a real cash cow for us.

C .J. Lamb, on the other hand. C .J.? Everyone loved her.

But C .J. wasn't committed to the law.

If her heart set on joining the professional golf tour, so be it.

Now she'll get it both ways and hit from the red tees. There's so many changes

around here.

I'm concerned about morale.

Nonsense. This isn't about feelings. It's about finance.

These are some of the highest paid professionals in town. Stop babying

Good morning.

Let's get underway.

As you're well aware, the arduous task of restructuring is almost complete.

What are you doing here?

It's my idea.

It's a bad one. Gwen begins her internship under my supervision today.

no reason she shouldn't be observing.

I'll just go sit.

Normally, staff meetings are limited to partners and associates.

There are sensitive firm issues to discuss.

Oh, really? I'll just go. Day. Fifth. Day.

What's next?

Fetch? Douglas, I think Gwen should attend these meetings.

Fine. Having wasted enough time. Sorry I'm late.

What happened? Should get a new dry clean. I am through with domestic

litigation. Divorce used to be fun, but everybody's lost their sense of fair

play. Nowadays, it's life and death.

Who's going to pay for this suit?

We will. We will? You're damn right. Nobody in this room generates greater

income for Mackenzie Brackman than you're truly.

What is it you want?

More. Better now. Could you be specific?

Entertainment law.

Well, you're already handling Mr.

Champion's wrongful termination suit. A labor dispute.

You threw me a bone.

Where are we on that one? Jury's been impaneled. Opening statements have been

waived.

I have to change.

May we get down to business?

Hold on, Douglas.

Oh, the candidate has the floor. Thank you.

As most of you know, I have decided to run for city council, only I didn't take

into account the time that's needed.

I'd like to extend my leave of absence.

You're putting us in a difficult position.

We'll be fine, Jonathan.

All the best. Great. Thanks.

I'll say my goodbyes at the end of the day.

As I was saying, Douglas, I have some personal stuff of my own.

Zoe comes home from the hospital this afternoon.

Great. Yeah, so I'm taking off a few days to help her out just till she gets

back on her feet.

I'd really appreciate your understanding on this one, folks, and if you need me,

I'm just a fax away.

Yeah, I, uh, I have to finish the Salzburger on it.

Oh, I've got the lit one, Deputy.

Sorry.

Well, no use discussing our new partner.

Where is Morales, anyway?

Is this a bad time to discuss Res Ipsa Loquitur? I believe I hear Ann Kelsey

calling your name.

leaner and meaner.

Tom? Hey.

There's good news about Zoe.

She's a lucky girl.

Luck's got nothing to do with it. She's tough.

She always had a high threshold for pain.

After all, she was married to me.

You gonna take her home?

To my place.

Tom, I think I'm gonna come by and see her.

Sure, no one's stopping you. I just think it's a little late for you to

insinuating yourself back into life. I mean, you barely visited Zoe in the

hospital. Yeah, well, I didn't want to complicate things after the breakup.

Always politically correct.

Just say hi for me and leave it at that, all right?

Sure. Good, thanks.

Penny, here's the address and change for the bus.

The black man's present is already paid for.

So Mr.

and Mrs. Brackman already got married. How come they're getting married again?

Because they got divorced.

Then why are they getting married?

These are all really good questions, Benny.

But right now, I need you to go.

I'll come right back.

Oh, sorry.

Well, excuse me.

Danny, let me give you a hand there. Thank you, Stuart. No, no, no, no, no,

Hi. What's this little bunkie's name?

That's Lucy.

Oh, yeah? Well, I love Lucy.

Hi, Annie.

What's your matter?

She's got a full diaper and an empty stomach.

Uh -oh. And you lost her Elmo somewhere on PCH.

You lost your Elmo?

Oh, no.

You want to go into Daddy's office and share a bottle with me? What do you say?

This is a different world from my private practice up north, I'll tell

Where were you up north? Santa Barbara.

Arnie.

I was hooked up front, Mr.

Champion's here, sort of. Oh, thanks.

Did you hear about this morning's staff meeting?

I finally got their attention.

Well, good for you, Arnie. What about?

I am one step closer to becoming Mackenzie Brackman's new entertainment

If that's what you want.

Hey, anything to stop my life from feeling like a cartoon.

Arnie, Homer Simpson.

How you doing?

Mr. Champion, is that you inside there?

That was my favorite shyster.

We're broadcasting live from the Valley Courthouse, where four white police

officers charged with beating a black motorist... Come.

We go now to our reporter on the scene. Leland. Jim, what can you tell us?

Still plugged into this trial, huh? Been with it since first gavel.

Jerry's about to deliver the verdict.

What an extraordinary exercise in justice.

Open and shut case.

Uh -huh.

Leland, I want to thank you again for supporting my city council bid.

I mean, the whole thing, it's been a difficult decision, and I'm aware it's

timing for the firm.

A number of our colleagues have left us, Jonathan, and some not under the best

of circumstances, but I admire your commitment to the community.

This is wrong.

This is trouble.

In violation of penal code section 245A1, not guilty.

Section 149, not guilty.

Penal code 118 .1, not guilty.

How soon after the incident were you fired from the amusement park?

I refuse to answer on the grounds it might incriminate me.

Mr. Champion, I am trying to prepare you for what you'll be asked on the witness

stand. Family Land is a major Hollywood power. They will try anything to

undermine your credibility.

Figures. Another victim of an organization that takes its best and

dims their bulbs.

Sorry,

I didn't know it was loaded.

We have work to do.

Now take off the head.

Uh -huh. Another trick question. I'm not allowed to take my head off in public.

That's why Family Land gave me the heave -ho in the first place.

The fact is there's still an injunction against you wearing this costume at all

until this case is settled. As your attorney, I can be held in contempt.

Uh -oh, gotta go.

Mr. Champion.

Oh, last night I had to take a whiz three times, but I was so tired I only

out of bed twice.

Can I ask you a stupid question?

Only if you want a stupid answer.

Do you plan on wearing that clown suit in court?

You wearing yours? The only way I can win this case is to let the jury see the

man inside.

No one cares about the man inside.

I'm not finished.

Neither am I. Pass me the sports section.

Mr. Champion, would you talk to me?

If you show up dressed as Homer, at best you've been uncooperative. What is the

problem? I know you think I'm a goofball, but the truth is the best

life have been spent playing Homer Simpson.

Do you know what it's like to have complete strangers, small children run

hug you? To see their faces light up with joy?

To be loved unconditionally?

No, I don't.

It's the greatest feeling in the world.

Don't let them take this away.

I'm aware we're not the closest friends.

Probably because we're partners. You know what they say about business with

pleasure. If this is about my giving up my comfy new couch from Susan's office,

forget it. You may remember I'm getting remarried to Sheila this afternoon at

City Hall.

Love is more wonderful the second time around.

Right.

Well, but with being preoccupied with the upheaval inside the firm, I've been

meaning to ask, and I know it's last minute, but could you...

That is, will you be my best man?

Gee, Douglas, I'm really honored, busy.

If you'd given me more notice. I would have if you'd been my first choice.

Can't you get somebody else? Look, if you don't want to help me out, I am... I

didn't want to do it. Great.

I'll leave all the details with your secretary.

Oh, and a celebratory magnum of champagne will be in order, don't you

Sure. I'll pick one up.

And if you have time for a trim, that wouldn't hurt.

You're looking a bit scruffy.

Should we take my car or yours? Counsel, slow down. Let's go back inside. Terry,

it's important I do something. Of course it's important you do something. But

the verdict was just delivered. We don't know what the reaction will be.

Sure we do.

Look, my job as your campaign manager is to steal the course.

This is not the time for you to react emotionally.

People in South Central have seen decades of police brutality, Terry.

rights violations, economic indifference. People down there have

don't want to be perceived as one of the instigators.

And perception is everything.

Now you're catching on.

Trust me.

Same old story.

We finally hire women litigators.

As what? A courtesy?

Mm -hmm. Only to have the pendulum swing back the other way. I heard we

interviewed a lot of people.

We? Mm -hmm. Big difference between the royal we of Mackenzie Rackman and the

little we -we of all of its partners.

If this firm doesn't hire another female attorney, I'm gone, too.

Oh,

my

papas. Daniel, let me help.

Oh, thanks, Ann. Her diapers are buried in that suitcase someplace.

I need a shirt, too. I was burping, Luthi. Next thing I know, it's a

to go.

Happened to me all the time with my son, Matthew.

Gwen Taylor, Daniel Morales, our new criminal attorney.

Hi. Hi.

I studied the court transcripts from the Welch murder case, and your closing

arguments were awesome.

Well, I got lucky, but thank you.

Any diapers?

Yeah, here.

Okay. And, uh, let's see. How's this?

Perfect. I'd be glad to hold her for you while you get dressed. That's okay.

I'm set.

Nice

touch.

Get comfortable while I dump this in the bedroom.

Oh, do you want some tea?

I bought a box of that no -taste herbal crap that you like.

You know, you really don't have to take time off for me, Tommy. Did you ever

stop to consider I got my own laundry to sort through? Who knows? Maybe I'll

start prosecuting again like you.

It would be a mistake to leave Mackenzie Brackman.

Thanks for the support.

Lie down. I'll put on the kettle.

Tommy, you promised. No hovering, no mothering.

I'm a big girl.

You caught a bullet in the chest and barely survived.

Where are you going?

Bathroom. Do I need permission?

You just went.

I'm a big girl with a little girl's bladder.

Oh, I'll see you at home.

Where are you going?

Douglas asked me to be the best man at his wedding.

Do you think I need a haircut?

You're going to be the best man at his wedding knowing the way that they

at ours.

Come on, it's more like being a witness. What was I going to say?

How about no?

Believe me, yes was easier.

Hey, don't you think I'd rather be home with you and Maddie?

Obviously not.

Um, why don't we finish this later?

So, uh, how's it going with Gwen?

Don't start. No, no, I'm really glad that you've taken her under your wing.

That's all. Nothing more, nothing less.

Great.

And I kissed the girl one time. Stuart. Two years ago. Don't you think there's a

statute of limitations on that? Do you really have time to lecture me, Stuart?

No, I don't.

Mr. Reiniger, how long have you been casting director at Family Land?

Four years this July, I've cast a number of characters, including Captain

Squiggles, Snurf and Turf, Dippy Duck, and The Simpsons, of course.

And once chosen, are your employees free to behave as they wish when portraying

these characters?

Oh, no.

Family Land has strict guidelines governing conduct during a performance.

But basically, it's pretty simple. Under no circumstances are they to break the

illusion. That's the number one rule.

And the reason for Mr.

Champion's dismissal? He broke that rule.

While dressed as Homer Simpson, Mr. Champion removed his head, and in so

violated his character and created hysteria for the children. Objection!

talking about a cartoon character. Who's no less real to children than the

Easter Bunny and Santa Claus.

We've received countless complaints, been served with more than one lawsuit.

The effects of this may ripple through the entire season. Objection.

Speculative. No foundation.

Sustained. Jury will disregard.

Your Honor, I'd like to submit a videotape of the incident taken by a

land visitor.

Objection. No authentication.

The photographer is prepared to testify, Your Honor. I'll allow it.

Bailiff?

Is this the best champagne you carry?

Oh,

trouble. Bad trouble. Say, could you put this in a box?

Too close for comfort.

Listen, I'm running late. I appreciate you picking up the pace.

And while you're back there, a bow would be nice.

Forget the bow. I was way out of line.

No. Hurry.

What the hell is it?

My name is Brackman Douglas P.

Esquire. You got no identification.

Someone picked my pocket. Another John Doe, number 53.

I want to make a phone call.

You can't lock me up without due process. L .A. is under siege. We're

a favor by locking you up. I was on my way to get married.

Yeah, then we're doing you a big favor. I want to make a phone call. Later.

Maybe.

This is wet and sticky.

I can't breathe.

Mr. Champion, how long have you been employed at Family Land?

19 years.

I started sweeping popcorn and candy wrappers, and later I was promoted to

churro concession, then to supporting player in the Happy Avenue Parade.

Three years ago, I was selected to play Homer.

19 years at the same place.

Must be more than a job.

It's an adventure.

Bailiff, could you give me a hand?

Now, while we're busy here, would you please describe what happened the day

you were terminated?

Sure. It was a Saturday.

It was hot, real hot. The park was chock full of people.

Anyway, my replacement didn't show, so I had to do double duty performing for

crowds and ride lines.

Please, go on. Well, I was sweating buckets.

It's like a sauna inside that costume.

All of a sudden, I started feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach. I think it was

the bad mayo in the employee tuna salad.

Objection. Mr. Champion is not an expert on food poisoning.

Sustained. Strike from the record.

So something you ate made you ill.

Yeah. The next thing I know, I was face down on the ground, my head off, covered

with vomit. You'd thrown up? Inside my head.

So you took the head off?

Well, I thought I was going to suffocate.

I see.

Your Honor, at this time I'd like to conduct a demonstration. I renew my

objection, Judge.

It's prejudicial. I have already overruled you on this, Miss Greensade.

you, Your Honor.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, many of you are experiencing a loss of

peripheral vision, claustrophobia, a lack of ventilation, inadequate hearing.

Only part of the working conditions under which Mr. Champion has to perform.

Now add to this a 30 -pound suit made of three -quarter -inch polyfoam.

Restricted mobility, 100 -degree temperatures, park visitors jostling for

photographs, and extreme nausea. To say you would be in discomfort is putting it

mildly. I'd say these circumstances are enough to cause anyone to pull off his

head. Ladies and gentlemen, you may do the same.

What's the latest?

Oh, worse.

Neighborhoods are being destroyed.

Many miles going up like kindling.

I can't watch anymore.

Lucy finally napping.

Sorry about the noise.

I have three brothers and a sister I'm into it.

You pick some day to arrive. Your wife must be worried.

My wife passed away last fall. She suffered a stroke during Lucy's delivery

never recovered.

I'm sorry.

I thought coming here would be a fresh start.

Looks like I won't be moving in tonight.

Better try and book a room someplace. Excuse me.

I'm a bit surprised to see you here.

I considered going down to the riot zone.

It is my district.

But I changed my mind.

Why is that?

Nobody can change this.

Unfortunately, you may be right.

And going down there probably isn't the most prudent action to take.

Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Truth is, I've been ineffectual as a councilman.

Everyone knows I live in Brentwood and just have a post office box in South

Central.

We're all feeling powerless.

I don't even know whose side I'm on.

Telephones are still out. I've been trying to call the store and track down

Benny. The one quality Benny does not lack is common sense. He'll be fine.

It's my fault.

Nonsense. Who could have predicted this day?

Mr. Damas.

Let's send everybody home.

Looks like everybody out there is carrying a gun.

It's crazy.

It shouldn't be too hard for a liberal guy like you to understand people who

screwed over by the law turn to vile. You're buying into mob mentality?

It's not a question of numbers. I was shot by one guy who reacted the same way

when his verdict came down.

I was watching that. Come on. We're leaving.

What?

We'll drive up the coast, Carmel, maybe, until this insanity cools down. I don't

want to drive up the coast. Then we will go to the desert or the mountains. I

don't care. Any place but here. No.

So we.

You're coming with me. Ow! Damn it, that hurt.

I'm sorry.

Why do you always have to control me?

I said I'm sorry.

Just stay away.

Fine.

Okay.

I'm going home.

At least let me drive you. It's dangerous.

Who cares?

I know what it's like to be shot. I know what it's like to be dead.

Mr. Champion.

When you began playing Homer Simpson, were you aware of the arduous conditions

under which you were to perform?

Sure. I'm not complaining. I love my job. That's why I want it back.

This is the Family Land handbook governing character conduct.

You've read it, haven't you? Yes.

And did you take a break every 30 minutes as instructed?

No. You're also instructed to drink plenty of liquids to guard against

dizziness, dehydration, and nausea. Yes, but my... Did you drink liquids?

But if I... Did you drink any liquids?

No. And when you began feeling dizzy, did you make any effort to get out of

public view, away from the crowd?

It happened so fast, I guess I went on autopilot.

The fact is, Mr. Champion, you have a record of character misconduct, wearing

your costume outside of the park.

To a children's hospital benefit.

Riding on the amusements with the visitors. Well, what's the harm?

work under the influence.

Well, that's a lie.

I had a cold.

My prescription made me drowsy, but I didn't want to disappoint the children.

Mr. Champion, I suggest that if you had followed company procedures...

Objection. You never would have disappointed the children by destroying

Simpson.

Objection. Withdrawn.

Nothing further.

Come on, come on.

According to the doctors, he lost a lot of blood and suffered a severe head

trauma.

I called a friend on the board here for a referral.

What happened?

He was beaten.

They pulled him from his car and they punched him and kicked him. People just

stood there and watched.

Where the hell were the police?

They seemed to be avoiding confrontation all over the city.

After Stuart's heart attack, I promised to cherish our time together.

But I fell back in the same pattern, the same old behavior.

What is it that I'm...

Mr. Becker, in light of the rioting, the court would appreciate it if you would

wrap this up as quickly as possible. Certainly, Your Honor.

Ladies and gentlemen, this case is about perception.

Let's also talk about reality.

Fifteen seconds of tape is hardly representative of Mr.

Champion's 19 years of work at Family Land.

What occurred before that camcorder was turned on?

Or after it was turned off?

What didn't we see?

What are we missing here? Your client.

Quickly responding to our request of the National Guard to be assigned here,

we gave the number of 2 ,000 that...

I remembered you like your egg rolls extra crispy.

What's going on, so?

I was sitting in my apartment, listening to the helicopters and the sirens and

the gunshots, and the more I listened, the more afraid I became, and so I

figured that the best way to combat my fears is to just live my normal life.

Hot mustard?

I'm not hungry. I deserve to get shot.

During the Meacham trial, I perjured myself on the witness stand.

I lied.

And I'm being punished.

There.

I said it.

Now I'm really hungry.

You know how people have those near -death experiences?

And they describe seeing auras.

Leaving their bodies, feeling all at peace.

It didn't happen to me.

And I was really disappointed.

Like I hadn't earned the privilege.

Sing us a song, Fender.

Excuse me?

Wearing a bad tux like that, you must play in a band or be an artisan.

For your information, I was on my way to get married, and you should floss.

You want to be the bride or the girl?

I'll ignore that homophobic problem.

I said, do you want to be the bride or the groom?

Listen, I appreciate a good joke as well as the next fella.

He'll be the groom.

Somebody stop playing the organ, because here comes the bride.

I'm supposed to be at the Bel Air Hotel with my wife having room service. I love

room service!

The next miscreant, who so much as looks at me, is a dead man.

Leland. Daniel.

I'm surprised you're still here.

I was hoping things would calm down before going out with Lucy.

It looked like they will.

May I?

Sure.

the last time I held a baby. Your children must be out of the house by

Never had children.

What's the biggest regret or mistake about that?

I

was

assistant D .A. during the Watts riots.

I was young.

Fresh to the city?

Working in the jails, trying cases, I witnessed racism firsthand.

I was outraged.

Swore to make a difference.

Well, nearly 30 years have gone by and all that's changed is the view from my

window.

I'm beginning to believe there's too much law and not enough justice.

These days, most people would agree.

But this isn't the way to respond.

Our legal system is what holds our society together.

Random violence, innocent victims, that's anarchy. That accomplishes

I've watched the city burn once before.

I never thought I'd see it again.

When will we learn?

I wasn't looking.

So, what happened? Who won? Your disappearance didn't help.

Did they notice?

Oh, they noticed.

I'm sorry I took off.

I just couldn't sit there any longer.

I wanted to be someplace safe. Where is it?

Family land.

Only, once I paid the admission and walked inside the gate, for the first

time...

Things felt phony.

You can't sell happiness.

I know.

People are desperate to escape the harsh reality of their lives. But life isn't

about escape.

It's about facing the truth in yourself and building a better place, not tearing

it down.

One man has to make a difference.

Eight fingers.

What's that?

Found it. My passport.

If the going gets tough, smart guys leave the country.

Oh, by the way, you won.

Back pay, damages, the whole show.

How can I ever repay you?

Cashier's check. In full.

In your face, family land! I hate L .A.

Penny, where have you been?

Al, you sent me.

Here. Yes, I know, but that was hours ago.

You should have called.

I was worried. Everyone was. You asked me to pick up Mr. Brockman's present.

Didn't you notice what was going on out there?

But... There is no excuse for you not calling.

How can you be trusted if you're irresponsible?

If you can't...

Follow directions. Ask me about my tie.

Benny. I finally figured it out. You're not listening.

Ask me.

My tie.

It's Swiss cheese.

What are you talking about?

Ask me.

Say, where did you buy your tie?

Okay. All right.

Benny, where did you buy your tie?

Wisconsin.

Cheese.

Get it?

I get it.

I'm glad you're safe.

If being pig -headed's an electable quality, you'll win by a landslide.

I just want to deceive you myself.

Not a lot of light to shoot by.

Yeah, that's why God invented the scrolls.

Okay, take off your jacket and hand it to me.

And roll up your sleeves.

Thank you.

Everything's gone.

There's hardly a district left for you to represent.

Come on over.

You follow her. Come on.

Shoot.

Good. Other side. Come on. Hurry up.

Okay. Good.

We're out of here.

Damn.

What?

Crazy. Maybe.

I'm still saying.

Look. Okay.

Fine.

Mom?