Original subtitles

How does it look?

Girl...

It's fine. Relax.

Why are you so crazed?

Waldo's introducing me To his parents tonight.

I want to look Extra special.

Girl, no wonder You're nervous.

Oh, I'm sorry.

About what?

Well, here I am Carrying on about My boyfriend,

And you're... All alone.

Well, thanks for Pointing that out.

I'll just run down To the old maid store

And pick up Some sensible shoes And a rocking chair.

You know what?

There's a guy Who's absolutely Perfect for you.

Who are you Talking about?

I'm talking about stefan.

Stefan urquelle.

Stefan was so smooth.

Mmm.

You really Liked him.

He was alright.

Stefan was more Than alright.

He was gorgeous, cool,

And, ooh, hurt-me sexy.

Yeah, but unfortunately,

He was also Self-centered And shallow.

Mm-hmm. Mm.

What if steve Could fix that?

Huh?

Why not ask steve To make a new, improved stefan?

How dare you, max?

What?

I am not so Hard up for a guy

That I'd crawl To steve urkel

And beg him to Bring back stefan.

Please, steve!

Please bring back Stefan!

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Please, steve!

Please bring back Stefan!

But, laura...

Pretty please... With sugar on top.

Laura, I'm confused.

When I was stefan, You begged me to Change back into steve urkel.

Well, that's true. But that's because...

Stefan was shallow And insincere,

But...

Couldn't you create A better stefan?

Hey...

You know, that's An interesting challenge.

Of course It would require

Delicate manipulation Of infinitely Minute strands

Of deoxyribonucleic Acid.

Oh, you could do it.

You're such a smart Scientist man.

Uh, but, laura,

I'm in the middle Of a new project.

I've harnessed The electrical power Of cheese.

Feast your peepers On this baby.

Someday you'll be able To light an entire city

With a single wedge Of brie.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

Steve, I know You're busy,

But I really Like stefan.

And if you Bring him back,

I'd be his girlfriend.

But... I'd be stefan, so...

Really you'd be...

My girlfriend, right?

Right.

And isn't that what You've always wanted?

Oh, hi, sweetums. Good news.

I've finally completed That elixir,

And I'm ready to Turn into stefan.

Well, of course If now isn't a good time,

We could always Reschedule for tonight...

Or tomorrow Or later sometime.

[panting]

Now's good.

A little anxious, Aren't we?

Interested, that's all.

But enough chitchat. Let's do this.

Now, wait just A doggone minute.

In a few moments, Steve urkel will Cease to exist.

Don't you Want to give me One last goodbye?

Sure.

Goodbye at last.

Oh, I'm sorry, steve.

That didn't Come out right.

I really will miss you.

You know what?

I'll miss me, too.

I'll miss My styling pants...

My neato suspenders...

And my charming laugh.

Ha ha hee hee.

[snort snort]

I'll even miss My glasses.

I'll never forget The first day I got them.

I was one happy 6-month-old little boy.

Well...

No more steve urkel.

Been there, done that. Time to move on.

Yeah...

So how does this work?

Simple.

This is the original Cool juice.

This is Cool juice booster.

Mix them together...

And they make something I like to call...

Boss sauce.

Ooh.

Are you going To drink that?

Oh, nay, nay.

I've improved The transformation Process.

Absorption By swallowing

Causes Unsightly twitches And convulsion.

Enough of that.

Not to mention Painful rashes

In private places.

That's why I invented...

This!

Wow.

What is it?

The utc--

The urkel Transformation chamber.

Oh, how does it work?

Ah, well, first...

I pour boss sauce...

In here.

[making gulping sounds]

Ahh.

Then...

Once I'm inside...

You pull this lever,

And every cell In my body

Is bombarded With boss sauce.

Let's do it. Yes.

[screams]

What's wrong?

It's dark in here.

[bell rings]

[alarm sounds]

[ding]

Stefan?

That's right, baby.

I'm back.

And you've got me.

How's this dress?

Now be honest.

Forget honest. Be brutal.

Laura, it's A beautiful dress.

So were the first Six you tried on.

I'm sorry, But I want to look

Absolutely perfect For stefan.

Look at this rag!

Laura says that Stefan is even better Than he was before.

Yeah, right. No, really.

He used to be conceited, Now he's sensitive And caring.

You know, if that chamber of Steve's really works

I'm thinking About changing myself Into denzel washington.

Good idea. Then turn the leftovers Into a sidney poitier.

[doorbell rings]

Stefan!

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm!

Look at you.

Perfume pour vous.

Oh, thanks, stefan!

Ooh, carl, look.

"Less fairs Jur day jordan."

Les fleurs de jardin.

Garden flowers, my man.

It's a beautiful Fragrance.

Very expensive.

Oh, big deal.

I gave you some perfume Just last week.

That was a sample From a magazine

You rubbed on me While I was cooking.

Hello, there.

I have all your albums.

Excuse me?

Well, yeah. Aren't you Whitney houston?

[carl laughing]

Hello, carl.

Oh...How's it going, Stefan?

Hey, I'm just maxing And relaxing.

Hey, well, I'm couching And slouching.

Freeze!

Huh? What?

You have been Working out.

Flex a little.

Come on!

What have you got In there, volleyballs?

Wait! Stop, stop.

You'll split your shirt.

I don't know how My arms got so big.

It's from lifting All them doughnuts.

Harriette, With all due respect And affection,

That comment hurt The big guy here.

And when The big guy hurts,

I share his pain.

Thank you, stefan.

Hey, carl, I'm here for you.

Hello, stefan.

Oh...

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm!

An angel speaks.

Yet I hear no Heavenly trumpets.

Come on!

For you-- An african violet For an african princess.

Oh, thank you, stefan.

No one's ever given me A potted plant before.

Well, I don't like To cut flowers.

It hurts them.

Hey! You guys Ready to roll?

Hey, shall we?

Okay.

Hey, thanks for the lift, Eduardo.

Hey, man,

Just being seen With you increases My rep with...

Everyone.

Aha! Aha!

Stefan, What's wrong With your izeta?

Oh, nothing.

At night I like To loan it to Meals on wheels.

Of course, it can only carry one Meal at a time,

But, hey, Every little bit helps.

Laura, don't forget Your curfew.

Oh, don't worry. I won't Keep her out late.

I have to get up early and cook Breakfast At the mission.

Goodnight, ladies, And later, slim.

[knock on door]

It's open, my sweet.

Stefan?

Hurry to me.

[thunder]

Ooh, thunder?

No. My heart.

Ooh!

Ooh...I just love What you've done With this place.

Oh, thank you.

It wasn't easy Trying to find The right fabric

To match The chestnut flecks In your eyes.

You say such nice... Stuff.

Sparkling cider?

Love some.

And some Romantic music?

Sure.

[music plays]

That was so cool.

Ah, lucky shot.

Hmm.

Three glasses?

It's a surprise.

A toast?

Helen of troy's beauty Could launch A thousand ships,

But your beauty... Could bring them Back home, baby.

There's that stuff again.

Oh! The bubbles Tickle my nose.

Hmm. Lucky bubbles.

Listen...

Why don't you pop this Into the stereo...

And lower the lights While I make...

Fire.

Freddie jackson. I love that song.

Yo, fred.

Hey, stefan.

That's freddie jackson!

Yes, And you are my lady.

* there's something That I want to say *

* but words sometimes Get in the way *

* I just want to show *

* my feelings for you *

* ooh, yes, I do *

* there's nothing that I'd rather do *

* than spend every moment With you *

* girl, you've got me So ho ho ho *

* hypnotized *

* ooh, yeah, yes, You do *

* just say that you'll Stay with me *

* 'cause our love was Meant to be *

* I promise to love you *

* more m-m-more more more More more more more more *

* more more more more More more more m-more more *

* each day *

* you are my lady *

* you're everything I need And some more *

* you are my lady *

* you're all that I'm living for *

* you are my *

* lady *

* mm-hmm **

So long, stefan.

See you saturday...

At madonna's party.

[thunder]

Whoa!

You got that right.

There's something I have to tell you.

What is it?

I think...

Well...

I think I'm falling In love with you.

Oh, laura...

If you only Knew how long

I've waited To hear those words.

Why, you've made me...

[as urkel] The happiest man On earth!

Oh, no.

[as stefan] I don't know. What, what just happened?

All of a sudden, You sounded like Steve urkel.

Yeah, I know,

[as urkel] But that's impossible...

Isn't it?

Go away, steve!

I want my man back!

Laura! Laura!

No sweat, my pet. Now...No sweat.

Now, look, don't get yourself All twitter-peded.

Now, I'll just hop back Into the old transformation Chamber

For a little stefan Pick-me-up, okay.?

Yes! Go! Go!

Alright. Now, now, don't worry. I'll just be a jiffy.

Ah! Stefan will Just be a jiffy.

Hurry! Just hurry!

[bells ringing]

[alarms sounding]

[pop]

[hissing]

Ah...Sweetums.

We have a small snafu.

What?

Well, uh, The machine is busted.

But the evening's Still young.

So what do you say We get back to those Lip push-ups?

No.

No!

W-w-wait, laura.

Wh-what's the matter? Wh-why are you leaving?

I can't talk now, steve.

I know things Look bleak right now,

But, but we can Work this out.

I must be cursed.

I finally found The perfect guy--

Handsome... Cool and caring.

I give him my heart, And what does he do?

He leaves me.

Yeah, but lau--

As god is my witness...

I will not rest until Stefan urquelle is back!

Forever!

[thunder]