Original subtitles

[reading french]

[speaking french]

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside These gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

[doorbell chimes]

Myra, what are you Doing here?

Hello, ms. Laura.

Steven told me you Asked him to help you With your french,

So I'm here As the hpm.

Hpm?

Hanky-panky monitor.

Hello, snuggle-buns.

Hello, turtle-toes.

Ooh, you're wearing My favorite suspenders.

Oh!

Oh, stop.

You know what That does to me.

I certainly do.

Would you two Like to be alone?

Yes.

No. You don't Need to be here.

Nothing Will happen between Laura and me.

I know Because I tried.

I'm surprised laura Turned you down.

After all, she's On the rebound

Ever since ziggy Dumped her.

Ziggy did not dump me.

Ziggy and I decided

We weren't right For each other.

We mutually agreed To see other people.

Okay, fine.

You're not The first girl

Who needs To hear a fairy tale

To sleep at night.

Oh, sweetiekins, Sweetiekins,

Oh, yes, We--we--we really Do need to study.

Go ahead. I'll just Keep myself busy

While I chaperone you two.

Ooh, what's this?

That's my sketch pad. Give it back now.

Steve, she's got you down Pretty good.

That's enough, missy. Hand it over.

Ooh, what's this?

Myra, myra.

Hmmm.

Me getting hit By a bus.

And look who's driving.

It's turtle-toes.

I'm going To count to three.

1...2...

Oh, myra!

Girl, you are one Totally sick puppy.

What? What?

Look at that Last sketch.

Oh!

It's me.

As naked As a jaybird.

Alright, so I sketched you au naturel,

But can you blame me?

Steven has the body Of a greek god.

Unfortunately He hasn't kept it up.

Myra, I did not pose For this sketch,

And you certainly Did not draw it From memory.

Now, calm down, steven.

Wait a minute, myra.

I've never Showed you my room,

But there's My computer

And my Bug collection,

And--lordy--

My dehumidifier.

Well, I--

Oh!

You've been Spying on me!

Only once.

Oh!

Well, you have gone Too far, toots.

You have turned A healthy attraction

Into a sickening obsession!

But I--

Save your buts, missy.

You lost your butt rights When you sketched mine.

Well, what Are you saying?

I'm saying...

We're through.

Goodbye, myra.

Why, what you Did to me...

Well, hurt me deeply.

And so did that.

Ooh!

Ahh!

Good morning, tiger.

Hey!

Harriette!

Harriette!

What is it, carl?

Guess what I found In the sink again.

More of your hair?

No...

Your wedding ring.

Well, thanks.

You left it In the soap dish again.

It was 2 inches From going Down the drain again.

Carl, you're starting To be a pain In the butt again.

I took off my ring

Because I didn't want To get makeup on it.

But you're Always doing that.

You leave your jewelry Lying around.

Oh, I do not.

Yes, you do.

Does that ring Mean anything to you?

Because it means Plenty to me.

To me, that ring Is a symbol

Of our undying love, Affection, and respect.

Now, you--

I'm talking here.

But to you, that ring Is nothing more Than a toy,

A trinket, a bauble To be carelessly Left about.

I'd love To listen to you Rant and rave,

But your breath Is taking the curl Out of my hair.

I'm telling you, eddie,

Tamisha roberts Was eyeballing you In the cafeteria.

It was one of those Come and get it looks.

Like this.

Heh heh.

Heh.

Oh.

Waldo?

What's up?

Never look at me Like that again.

Eddo, waldo, Problemo grando.

Hey, look, It's garth urkel.

Guys, I've made A terrible mistake!

Let me guess.

You bought that outfit Instead of renting it.

Can the fashion critique.

Look, I've got Big trouble.

Myra joined a convent.

Whoa, myra can drive An 18-wheeler?

Excuse me?

Isn't a convent A long line of trucks?

No, waldo.

That's a convoy.

A convent is a place Where nuns live.

Wouldn't that be A nunvent?

Please hold your questions Until the end...

Of your life.

Steve, are you sure About this?

Absolutely.

I was about to leave For my country line Dancing class...

Anyhoo...

I called myra To see how she was doing.

Her mother answered The phone.

Mavis informed me Myra hopped a bus To the nunnery.

Hold it, Hold it, hold it.

You telling me

That myra Was so heartbroken Over losing you

That she actually Joined a convent?

Well, hey, I spoiled her For other men.

I mean, after all, Once you've had Filet mignon,

You can't go back To bologna.

That's true.

Man, I can't believe

I let you talk me Into this.

Eddo, it was the only way We could get in.

Actually This outfit is comfy,

And black has A slimming effect.

Okay, now, Let's blend in

And start looking For myra,

But be subtle.

Right.

Hey, sis, You seen myra?

Who?

My--

Waldo.

What's up?

Be subtle.

And don't you talk To anybody else.

Ooh! Ooh!

Oops!

Pardon me.

Oh, that's alright.

I don't believe We've met.

I'm sister bernadette.

Oh, I'm sister steve... Phanie.

Stephanie?

No, steve...Phanie.

Lithuanian.

Ahh, of course.

My, aren't you Close to the lord?

[giggling]

[falsetto voice] Hi. I'm Sister edwina.

[giggling]

And, uh...

Who might you be?

Uh...

I'm sister...

Uh, uh...

Sledge.

What's up?

What happened To your lip?

Nothing. Just covering up My mustache.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

So, what brings You sisters here?

Well, actually, We're looking For a fellow sister.

Fellow sister?

Yeah. Her street name Was myra.

Well, what does She look like?

Well, like us, she's A sister sister, sister.

Uh, uh...

Well, uh...

She's about 5'2".

She has brown eyes.

Oh, and she's Very pretty.

Big bazooms.

Oh, lord!

Have mercy!

Amen. Amen.

Ma, you making That noise?

Yeah.

Thank goodness.

I was afraid Carl got stuck In the tub again.

Help me Get this pipe off.

It's leaking?

No, I left My wedding ring

In the soap dish Last night.

I knocked The dish over.

My ring went Down the drain.

Uh-oh. There goes 50 bucks.

Carl warned me This could happen,

And I didn't listen.

Why don't you Call the plumber?

Let your father Find out he's right?

Bad precedent.

I want my ring Out of here and on my finger

Before your father Gets home.

I'll go keep an eye out For carl.

Thanks, mother winslow.

Come on, honey. Help me. Help me.

Watch out.

Ma, do we know What we're doing?

Nope.

Just checking.

Come on. Let's Put a little more Oomph in it.

Aah! Aah!

Hey!

Ooh! Aah!

Here, baby.

What's going on in here?

Nothing.

Why are you on the floor In a puddle of water?

Oh!

Well, we are in the early stage Of our synchronized swimming Career.

Harriette. Harriette.

Yeah.

I came upstairs As fast as I could.

Be careful. Carl is home.

Thanks, mama.

Hoo! Oh!

What is goin' on?

My ring Went down the drain.

Laura and I were Trying to get it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It seems to me I warned you

A thing like this Can happen.

Correct me If I'm wrong.

[mumbles]

Hmmm?

You're not wrong.

Thank you, Harriette.

It's nice to be Acknowledged.

Your ring is not Down the drain.

Your ring is In the medicine Cabinet.

What?

Yes. I found the ring In the soap dish

Again This morning.

I thought it Would fall down The drain,

So being Exceedingly careful,

I carefully Placed it here

In the medicine Cabinet...

Oops.

Wrench!

Thanks.

Oh!

Oh! Aah! Aah!

Five, six, seven, eight.

[aerobic workout Music plays]

Left foot!

Alternate the knee!

Two more!

Knee stretch!

Amen!

* sisters, I hear Heavenly flutes *

* let's get down And work those glutes *

* matthew, mark, Luke, and john *

* shake that fat Until it's gone *

* we'll stay in shape With god's good grace *

* come on, ladies, Pick up the pace **

Around the world!

Okay!

Oh! Heaven help us.

Stop! Hold it!

What's the matter?

Look! She's a man!

Oh! Aah! Oh!

Oh!

It's a miracle!

I'm shocked!

Oh!

I'm busted.

Excuse me.

Aah!

Go ahead.

What is the meaning Of this?

How dare you sneak Into this holy sanctuary?

Now, sister, We can explain.

And so you shall... To the police.

Sisters, keep an eye On them.

Don't worry. If they move, I'll waste them.

Eh, should we make A break for it?

Go ahead, make my day.

Hello, sister bernadette.

Have you seen My aunt monica?

She's working At the children's Hospital.

I have to rush. There's an emergency.

What's wrong?

We have...

Men.

That's no man.

That's my snuggle-buns!

Stevie?

Myra.

Eddie, waldo, why are You guys dressed Like that?

Uh...

Uh...

Isn't this The zorro audition?

Myra...

Your mother Said you came here.

I assumed To become a nun.

No!

I came to visit My aunt monica.

She's the reverend mother Here.

Why would I join A convent?

Well, because you Were so heartbroken Over losing me.

Steven, what an ego.

I love that In a man.

Come here.

Now, wait, Myra--myra...

Myra, wait.

Myra, Don't come here.

You know, myra,

Apparently My feelings for you

Are stronger Than I thought.

Otherwise I wouldn't Have gone to such Great lengths

To try and find you.

Steven, Are you saying what I hope you're saying?

Well, I don't know.

What is it You hope I'm saying?

That you want me back.

I guess so.

Oh, stevie!

But no more sketches Of moi in le buff.

Oh!

Okay, I promise.

From now on, I'll respect your privacy.

Well, in that case,

I guess we're...

Back together.

Oh, stevie, I'm the happiest puppy In the pet store!

Okay, Alright.

M-m-myra.

Myra--myra, I can't breathe.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Left foot.

Alternate the knee.

Two more.

Amen.

* sisters, I hear Heavenly flutes *

* let's get down And work those glutes *

* matthew, mark, Luke, and john *

* shake that fat Until it's gone **