Original subtitles

Well, son, We're all set.

Tomorrow morning...

We drive up To international falls, Minnesota,

And from there, A floatplane flies us

To our campsite in canada.

Man, I can't wait.

I really appreciate This trip, dad.

Well, hey... It gives us a chance

To spend some Quality time together

Before you go off To college.

Hey, can I come, too, Mr. Winslow?

Well, uh--

I never been to canada,

But I'm a big fan Of spanish culture.

Well...

Waldo, This is, um...

This is going to be A father and son Camping trip.

Aw, gee...

Aw, gee...

Aw, gee...

What's wrong?

Nothing's wrong. It warms The cackles of my heart

To hear you think of me As a son.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside These gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Hey, dad. Yeah?

You know what's weird? What?

We're going On a camping trip,

And we haven't heard A peep out of steve urkel.

Yeah. You know, That is strange.

Come on. Let's Get out of here...

Before that door Flies open And he hurts me.

Yeah.

Aah! Ooh! Ooh! Oh-ho-ho! Ow!

Hidy-ho, winslows.

Steve, what are you Doing here?

I was curious Why you two Are up so early.

Going somewhere?

Well...Actually...

Uh...Yeah.

Eddo...

[slippers roaring]

What was that?

Oh... My dinosaur slippers.

Why are you wearing Dinosaur slippers?

Because my pig slippers Are in the shop.

Now speak to me, eddo.

Were you and carl Actually going On a camping trip

Without the urkman?

Well, yeah, But it's strictly A father-son trip.

Hi, guys. I'm ready to go.

Strictly father-son, huh?

And just when did you Adopt waldo?

Aw, gee...

Aw, gee...

Aw, gee...

What's wrong?

First you call me son, Now you make it legal.

Well... I'd better be going.

After all... I'm the only one here Who isn't...

Family.

Have a great trip.

[roaring]

Steve...

Yes?

You can come, too, If you want to.

Oh, I can?

Yes.

But you can't Bring those slippers!

Oh, thanks, big guy! I'd love to go.

But I can't.

Oh, you can't go?

I'm leaving for miami This afternoon With my dad.

He's performing A new surgical procedure

That's got The medical community Abuzz!

What is it?

An operatic lobotomy.

Well, we're so sorry You can't come With us, steve.

Well...Bye, guys.

Bye.

[roaring]

Ah, man, breathe that air, huh.

Hoo.

[exhale deeply]

I don't trust it.

Why not?

I can't see it.

I like to look at What I'm reading.

Waldo, would you go Find us some firewood?

Cool.

I'll be right back, dad.

What are you doin'?

Picking up pine cones So I can find my way back.

That boy's head Is 99% pine cone.

Man, dad,

It is so beautiful Up here.

Yeah.

You know, It's a funny thing.

When you're in the city,

With all of its noise And traffic and crime,

You don't realize How uptight it makes you.

But here, it's... Quiet...Peaceful...

Serene.

Yeah.

Yep. Right now...

I don't have A care in the world.

[helicopter approaching]

Right there!

Hidy-ho, campers!

Steve! Steve!

Heads up, fellas!

I'm going to drop My backpack.

Ow!

Now look alive!

I'm dropping My sleeping bag!

Go! Go!

Ow!

Okey-dokey. Ready or not, Here I come!

Take cover!

Whoa!

Easy does it!

Whaa!

Steve!

Oh! Oh! Oh! St--

Whoa!

[helicopter]

Stand clear!

I'm gonna drop the rest Of the nerd boy's stuff!

Right here! Put it right here!

Aah!

Thank you!

Come on, dad.

Wait a minute!

Let go!

Would ya--

You okay, dad?

I suppose.

Considering I just got hit By a sporting goods store!

Where's my hat? Get my hat!

Give him his hat, steve!

Steve, what are you Doing here?

You were supposed to be In miami with your father!

I was, But the hospital decided

That his singing lobotomy Was too highbrow,

So they replaced him With a proctologist.

An ordinary Proctologist?

Oh, no. He jazzes it up With a little ventriloquism.

Ooh! Ooh!

Come on, son. Let's get our camp Back in order.

And where shall I Pitch my tent?

On the other side Of that hill.

But that's a cliff.

Exactly.

Ha heh heh heh! [snorts]

Oh, you kooky camper.

Goodness, this is Going to be fun.

Now come on, campers, let's find Ourselves A safer campsite.

What are you Talking about?

This spot is safe.

Au contraire, Mon frere.

On my way over, I perused the area's Geological survey,

And this spot Is chock-full of Geothermic activity.

Huh?

Geysers.

We're not moving, steve.

I am in charge here.

I'm the bc.

Big cranky?

Boss camper.

And the boss camper says This is the perfect Campsite.

Well...

Suit yourself.

But let's at least hang Our grub from a tall tree.

Why?

That'll keep it away From them thar Grizzly bears.

Look, steve...

You and I have got to come To an understanding.

You don't tell me How to camp,

And I won't tell you... How to be annoying.

Well, don't we just have A tick in our tights.

Dad, let's grab our fishing Poles and go down to the lake.

Good idea, son.

You coming, steve? Oh, eventually,

But first, I want to protect My perishables.

Hey, guys, look what I found-- A wilderness kitty.

Aah! Aah!

Uh-oh.

Hey, kitty, this place Smells funny. Let's go.

What happened?

Oh!

The tents Are ripped to shreds!

All our food Is gone.

Mine isn't.

The bear didn't get My food.

Bear? How do you know It was a bear?

Well, look, He left tracks

And...Other evidence.

Wait a minute. We're assuming The bear was here.

Yeah. What if the bear's Still here?

What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?

Just relax. We'll be fine.

But, dad, I'm starved!

What are we Going to eat Tonight?

Might I suggest Some humble pie

With a side of crow?

Ahh.

Smell that beef!

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

Hot potato! Hot potato! Whoo!

Let's see.

Now where did I put That sour cream And butter?

Ah! Here it is,

Right under The strawberry Cheesecake.

Ohh. Ohh. Ohh.

Guys, I've got More steak than I Can possibly eat.

You're more than Welcome to join me.

Well-- Well--

No.

Oh, now, carl,

Don't let pride Stand in your way.

Look, big guy.

It's a t-bone.

T-bone?

Yes!

2 pounds of corn-fed Midwestern prime.

Charbroiled On the outside,

Pink and juicy... On the inside.

No.

It's your food.

You eat it.

Okle-dokle.

Hah hah hah hah!

[humming camptown races]

Steve?

Shh!

Not While I'm chewing.

Ahh.

Well, I'm full.

We don't need His food.

Now, tomorrow morning We'll just go and Catch some fish.

Ohh.

Yeah.

Okay.

And we'll save The fish bones

And Make an arrow.

And we'll Use the arrow To kill a cow,

'cause I want Steak!

Mr. Winslow, Is it time to turn in?

No. It's just 8:00.

[instrumental music]

Goodnight. Goodnight. Goodnight.

No, no, no, no!

Wait, wait, Wait.

What's A camping trip

Without Some rousing Campfire songs?

A happy trip.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, you!

Now here's A catchy tune

Going out From this side Of the campfire

To yours.

[music continues]

* I love to go *

* a-wandering *

* along the mountain Track *

* and as I go, I love to sing *

* my knapsack On my back *

* val der ree *

Steve.

* val der rah * Steve.

* val der ree * Steve.

* val der rah ha ha Ha ha ha ha-- **

Steve!

If you don't come Back home with us,

The police will believe Anything I tell them.

You disappoint me, Big guy.

Now let me Offer again.

You fellas are More than welcome To share my tent.

What tent?

Ah!

That tent.

Hey! That was pretty cool!

Hey, dad, did you see that?

I saw. I saw.

But we don't Need his tent.

We have Our own tent.

We'll be just fine. Come on.

Hey! Well, watch out!

You're standing On my hand.

But I'm trying To warn you.

This spot has Geothermic activity,

And if you sleep There tonight--

Will you stop with The geothermic activity?

Now, for the last time,

I am the expert Camper here.

You are The city slicker,

The tenderfoot,

The greeeeeeen

Horn!

You know, If you had Some din-din,

You'd be a lot less Grumpy-wumpy.

Let me--

Dad, dad, dad!

Dad! Dad.

Nighty-night!

Don't let The lyme ticks bite.

Hey!

Wait a minute!

Get off my foot!

Move.

[rumbling]

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

What was that?

Geothermic activity?

Bingo.

I don't Believe this.

We're cold, we're wet, We're hungry.

What's next?

[owl hoots]

Oh, man, we're Going to get eaten By the owls!

Now, come along, Campers.

Come along.

Dry yourselves Off

While I rustle Up some nice, Hot soup.

Thanks, steve.

Steve.

Yes?

You were right...

And I was wrong.

Excuse me?

You know what I'm trying to say.

Well, not really.

Tell me.

Well, I... Well, uh...I...

Uh...

The bear. The bear.

[making tearing Sounds]

The bear.

You warned me About the bear...

And I--

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

The geyser.

The geyser.

You warned me About the geyser,

But I wouldn't listen.

I...Well, I...

Yelled.

I yelled at you.

And...

And made fun of me And hurt my feelings.

I made fun of you,

And I hurt Your feelings.

And you're...

Very, very sorry.

I'm very...

Very...

Sorry.

Oh, carl,

That was beautiful!

Look...

The truth is, steve,

If you hadn't come,

Well, we would have been In a lot of trouble.

Thank you, steve.

You're welcome, Big guy.

Come on. Let's Get out of here...

Before that door flies open And he hurts me.

Yeah.

Aah! Aah! Ow! Ow!

Ow!

Ow!