Original subtitles

Do you think You can make

A little more noise Turnin' those pages?

I'll try.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Hey, waldo. What's up?

Who do you think Is the toughest Wrestler?

Other than my mom?

Hurricane hal.

He's not that tough.

Oh, yeah?

He got shot once And didn't know it For two days.

That's not tough. That's stupid.

Hey, don't tell me About stupid.

I know stupid.

I've made stupid An art form.

Hey, guys, Want to watch some tube?

Sure. Sure.

Thanks. Thanks.

Should've brought one For yourself.

Hey!

I know that guy!

Who?

That's lyle hopkins.

You know one Of the psycho twins?

The psycho twins? Who are the psycho twins?

Just the top Tag-team wrestlers

In the whole world, That's all.

Well, lyle and I went To high school together.

Get out of here!

Don't tell your father To get out.

Show some respect.

You can stay, Mr. Winslow.

Lyle and I were On the wrestling team.

We used to Practice together.

Dad, the psycho twins Are defending Their title tonight

On wrestle-rama.

You should go To the studio

And pay your buddy A visit.

Maybe I should.

And you should Take your beloved Son with you.

Ooh! Can I Come, too?

Please? It would be Like meeting the pope,

Only more Religious.

You can come, waldo.

Yeah!

Hey, ha ha!

Do it! Do it! Do it!

Hidey-ho!

Oh! Oh!

Yeah, well, big guy, Don't stand behind the door.

You--you could get hurt.

Goodbye, steve.

No, wait, wait, wait!

Once again, I've come up With an exciting

New scientific Breakthrough. Wanna know what it is?

No! No! No!

Wait, wait, wait!

It's snooze juice--

My herbal, all-natural Cure for insomnia.

Good for you, Urkel.

Ever since Russia broke up,

There's been Lots of fighting In insomnia.

No, waldo...

This makes people Go to sleep.

Oh. Cool.

Uh, steve, we'd love To stay here and be annoyed,

But we're leaving.

No problem. I'll just Annoy you on the way.

[snorts]

Well, it's Scramble eggs tomorrow.

See ya. Freeze.

Richie, isn't There something

You want to tell Aunt harriette?

Uh...Yeah. Nice blouse.

Richie.

Uh...

What's going on here?

I told a lie To my teacher.

Oh, richie, You know better Than that.

It was just A little lie.

Little? You told Mrs. Grossbacher

You didn't have Your homework

Because it blew out Of an open window.

That can happen.

But then he told her An eagle picked it up

And flew to germany With it.

You should have Quit while You were ahead.

That's it, scare me!

Get a close-up!

Looking good, guys! Looking good!

Hey, emile, Let's your famous Bite of death.

Aah!

That's scary.

Ha, ha, ha!

Alright!

Wow!

Look at this here.

Hey, come on. Look, look.

Wow! A professional Wrestling ring.

Mom never made it To the big time.

Hey, lyle.

Carl winslow!

Carl!

Carl! I haven't Seen you since High school.

How you doing, man?

I'm doing fine, man.

You doing terrific.

I always knew You'd make it big.

I was always big. I just had to make it.

Hey, remember Those great times We had together?

Are you kidding? We were wild men!

Remember When we took Those girls--

Lyle, lyle, lyle, lyle.

This is my son edward.

Hey. I wish I could hear The rest of that story.

I wish I could remember it.

Oh, and these Are his friends Steve and waldo.

Hey, guys.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Sorry.

It didn't hurt.

Wow.

A psycho twin Pressed my flesh.

Would you do me The honor

Of autographing My boxer shorts?

Well, uh...

I'll leave them, And you could Mail them to me.

I got a better idea.

Come back tonight. I'll give you Front-row seats

To our Championship match.

Thank you. Be right back.

Where you going?

The bathroom.

I gave myself A wedgie.

Lyle, you Haven't changed.

You are still a great guy. We'll see you tonight.

Alright.

Roar!

Hey, guys, Let's kill some time

By grabbing Some dinner, huh?

Hey, yeah. Let's go To la petite sardine.

Nothing but sardines.

Cream sauce, Mustard sauce,

Pickled, plain, Heads, no heads.

Hey, lyle. What's that?

Some kind of juice.

Tastes good.

Well, come on, We're partners. Share.

Hey.

You found My snooze juice.

S-snooze juice?

That's what was In here?

Was?

The psycho twins Guzzled this down,

And now they're In the locker room Sleeping like babies.

The big one's Sucking his thumb!

Uh-oh. Thumb sucking Causes an overbite.

Just ask my uncle Beaver face.

Just how much Did they drink?

The whole bottle.

Oh, my. Why, My snooze juice was Highly concentrated.

Oh, yeah? Well, I can't wake The psychos up.

How long Will they be out?

Well, let's see.

It's 7:20, so, uh...

They should be sleeping Until, hmm...

Thursday. What?

Hey.

We're on the air In 10 minutes.

Whoa, that's Way before thursday.

Look, If I don't deliver The psycho twins,

I'll get sued.

And if I get sued,

You guys get sued.

I'm going To call my lawyer.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Take it easy here.

Look, I know that this is An unfortunate accident,

And we'd love To help you out here,

But let's be reasonable.

What could we possibly do?

Ladies and gentlemen,

It is time For the main event!

First...

First, our challengers!

Those fierce Freaks of the forest...

The hoods of the woods...

The brothers of bash...

The bushwhackers!

Boo! Boo! Boo!

Aah!

And...

Their opponents...

The current federation Of worldwide wrestling Tag-team champions...

The demented demons Of destruction...

The psycho twins!

If you win...

We'll give you A victory massage.

Waah! Waah!

Waah! Waah!

Ladies...

Ladies and gentlemen,

Get ready for the match Of the century!

Hey, carl.

What?

The bushwhackers Look a little light On the bush

And heavy On the whackers.

The second one Of those glandular Mutants touches me,

I'm taking a dive.

Steve, you don't have to.

Lou spoke to the guys. He filled them in.

They know we're not Real wrestlers.

They're going to Make us look great.

Well, you mean To tell me

I get to Pummel big guys,

And they won't Pummel me back?

That's right.

Wow, I can't Believe this.

My father's Actually going To fight

A professional Wrestler.

Yeah. Hey, After the match,

You think I could ride with him In the ambulance?

Listen up!

Only one wrestler From each team

Is allowed in the ring At one time.

You're not allowed In the ring

Unless you tag Your partner first.

You got it?

Yeah! Yeah!

Good.

[bell rings]

Wrestle!

Yeah!

I'm bad!

I'm bad!

Get in there!

Go get him, tiger!

Come on, butch!

Boo! Boo! Boo!

Yeah!

Yes!

Yeah!

Arrr!

Arrr!

Whoa, it looks like The psycho twins

Are getting a leg up On the bushwhackers.

Oh, wake up And smell the sweat.

Those psycho wimps Will be ground chuck

When the bushwhackers Get their mojo working.

Richie, why aren't you Doing your homework?

I'm watching uncle carl And uncle steve

Wrestle the bushwhackers.

They went to The wrestling match.

They're not in The wrestling match.

They're the psycho twins, And they're kicking butt.

Alright, That does it.

I've warned you About lying.

I'll have A serious talk with--

Die!

Carl!

Steve?

Richie, I'm sorry. You weren't lying.

That's right.

But I sure wish you were.

Wow. You must be So proud of your father.

Butch!

Break loose!

Get him!

Rip his Bloody face off!

Hey, mate, For to schmoes Off the street,

You ain't doing Too bloody bad.

Oh, well, thank you, Mr. Bushwhacker.

Call me luke. What do you do For a job?

Actually, I'm a student, But my compadre's a cop.

A what?

A cop, a fuzz, a flatfoot, A bobby, a gendarme.

My brother and me,

We hate cops!

Oh, well...

H-how come?

My mother was arrested By a cop last night!

Well, why?

They couldn't Catch her till then.

Hey, butch, The guy in the ring With you,

He's a cop!

What? He's a cop?

Yeah!

We hate cops!

Wha--

Arrr!

You're a dead man!

What did I do? Hey! Hey!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Man, your dad Makes it look so real.

Oh!

Arrr!

Get him! Get him!

Get him, butch!

Get him! Get him!

Arrr!

Arrr!

Get him!

Whoa, that was great, Steve!

No, it wasn't. Your dad and I Are in trouble.

We need help!

Yo, we got your back.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Ohh! Ow!

Ow! Ohh!

Ohh!

Well, I hope You're happy.

You're blaming me?

Ow!

Steve, everything Was going just fine

Until you blabbed That I was a cop.

Well, carl, This whole ugly debacle

Would have never happened

Had you not Dragged me down To that palace of pain.

Steve--ooh! Ow!

The real psycho twins Would've still been In the ring wrestling

If it wasn't For your stupid Sleepy juice!

Aah!

Snooze juice!

Oh! Carl.

Waah!

Oh.

Come on. Ow!

I just got off The phone with lou.

Uh-oh. Don't tell me, He wants to sue me

For all the damages Caused by the riot?

Nope. You and steve Were a big hit.

He wants you back Tomorrow night.

What? What?

No way!

He wants you To wrestle the nurses.

I'll be there.

Heh heh heh! [snorts]

Ohh!