Original subtitles

Gangway, everybody.

Move your fannies, fans.

Big fan, coming through.

Hey, urkel, you get a hernia Carrying that thing around.

You should get one of these.

Oh, yes. Thanks for The tip, waldo.

No problem.

We learn by doing.

Oh, look.

It's the world's sexiest Concert promoter.

Hey, steve.

Things are really Coming together.

Shanice's concert Will raise a lot of money

For our scholarship fund.

Yep.

Say, you look tense.

Back rub?

Black eye?

Back off.

So, my little Daffy dilly,

My birthday's This saturday,

And I'm throwing A big bash.

Want to come?

Who'll be there?

Well, so far...

You, me, And the cake.

Well, uh... I can't make it,

So say hi to the cake.

I understand.

Myra's out of town This weekend,

And I decided Not to invite My parents.

Well, why not?

I'm still miffed That they put Those trick candles

On my birthday cake Last year.

The ones that Won't blow out?

No. The ones That blow up.

So no one's coming To your birthday party?

Nope.

That's okay. I'm steve urkel.

I'm used to Being alone.

Steven q. Urkel.

Yes, mildred.

What is this Contraption?

Well...

I thought it'd Be nifty swifty For the concert.

We make A little smoke,

Then this fan wafts it Across the stage,

As shanice makes Her grand entrance.

Oh, we're talking mood, Mildred.

I still have Me doubts, steven.

I mean, this fan,

It's quite large.

Oh, pish tosh, Teach.

We'll Keep it on low.

Observe.

Did I do that?

I hope you've Learned your lesson.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these Gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

[doorbell rings]

Hello, shanice.

Hi, eddie.

Oh, my god! You're here!

Come in! Come in!

Can I come in?

Come in!

I missed you so much, Shanice.

You are so fine.

I wrote you Lots of letters.

You are so fine.

Eddie.

Yeah?

Why are you Babbling?

I don't know. Can you stop me?

Maybe.

So, it's good To see you, baby.

Hey, those Are pretty flowers.

Heh heh.

Thanks.

Oh--oh--oh--oh, They're for you,

In honor Of our six-month Anniversary.

Anniversary?

Yep. Six months ago,

You walked into Mighty weenie.

You ordered A chili dog,

But you left With my heart.

So, shanice, How long you In town for?

Just a few days.

Let's make it A few days To remember.

That's a good start.

Yeah.

Hey, what's this?

Just A song I wrote.

I'd ask you To look at it,

But I'm sure It's wack.

I'm sure it isn't.

Can I take this?

Sure, thanks.

Listen, I know You're a big star,

So I'm not sure What you'd like To do today.

What do you Normally do?

Probably just go To the mall

And wander around Aimlessly.

Oh, that Sounds great.

Well, we're Wasting time here.

We could be Wandering aimlessly.

Hello, kenny?

Yeah, this is Laura winslow.

I'm having A birthday party

For a friend This saturday. Can you come?

Well, the party's For steve urkel.

[click]

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, please. Don't knock Or anything.

Just come on in.

Thanks.

Cool.

Where's The e-man?

He's out.

We'll make a sandwich And go.

Well, actually, I'm glad you Stopped by.

Heh heh heh.

Well, of course you are, Sweet thing.

See, I just knew it Was a matter of time

Before you fell For that weasel magic.

Waldo, do me a favor,

And stand between us.

Okay.

But on friday, I have to go get My teeth cleaned.

Fine.

I wanted To invite you

To a birthday party For steve.

Steve?

Steve urkel?

Yeah.

I forgot. What are we Laughing about again?

She wants to throw A birthday party for urkel.

Stop it, you two. It's not funny.

If it's Not funny,

Then why Are we laughing?

You guys Should be ashamed.

Steve urkel's Been a good friend

To both of you.

He has?

Yes.

Weasel, who brought you That nice brass plaque

To commemorate Your 100th day In detention?

Urkel.

I have to admit, That was very thoughtful.

That plaque made me The envy

Of all my detentionites.

And waldo...

What's up?

When you're depressed, Who cheers you up

By making Shadow animals?

Urkel.

Sometimes he Even does them Over the phone.

Well, okay, then.

Will you come To steve's party?

Nope. Nope.

Well, why not?

'cause...

'cause ain't nobody Going to be there.

[music playing]

* I can't ignore *

* the way I feel About you, baby *

* I just want you To be mine *

* all alone waitin' *

* for your tender touch *

* so I hope you'll Give this love a try *

* can't you see Just how I feel *

* it's for you *

* don't you know This love is real *

* let it out *

* it's for you *

* oh-ohh **

Thank you.

Now I have A special treat for you.

One of vanderbilt's Students

Is a good friend Of mine.

He's written A terrific song,

And I'd like him To sing it.

How about a big hand For eddie winslow?

No, no, no, no.

Come on, come on.

Okay.

Don't be Uptight.

* ooh *

* all I know Is that I love you *

* and I know That I care for you *

* all I know Is that you're on my mind *

* and what I feel Is a true love divine *

* and you're the one I need *

* in my life *

* and you're the one I need *

* by my side *

* you're the one I need *

* when I cry *

* hey, you're the one I need *

* so please, one, Stay with me *

* yeah **

Honey?

Hmm?

What are these names On this list?

Laura decided To throw a birthday party For steve.

Those are the people She wants to invite.

Oh...

Heh heh.

Uh-oh. Must be a mistake.

What?

My name's on the list.

Mom, dad, We need to talk.

Yesterday when I sang With shanice...

Yes...

It was the greatest Feeling I ever had.

Everybody says I sounded pretty good.

You sounded great.

Thanks, dad.

Well, shanice's manager Said that I have talent

And that I Could go places.

I see.

Edward, Where is this going?

I've decided I want a singing career,

So I won't be Going to college.

But I'll still need The money you saved For my backup singers.

Let me Get this straight.

Heh heh heh heh.

You have decided

That you're Not going to go To college?

That's right.

Heh heh heh heh heh.

Instead you're going To become a singer

And a songwriter.

Yup. What do you think?

Are you nuts?

Carl, calm down Before you do something You'll regret later.

You should have Threatened me with That 18 years ago.

Dad, I know you're upset,

But this isn't Just a whim.

I've really Thought this out.

Well, That's encouraging.

Just what is Your exact plan, Edward?

Okay.

I'm going to write Some songs, sing them, And make big bucks.

Gosh, you can't Find any holes In that plan.

You said I sounded great At the concert.

Well, you did.

That doesn't Mean you can make A living from it.

I once bowled A 300 game.

I didn't join The pba tour.

Carl, you never bowled A 300 game.

Do you mind, Harriette?

I'm trying to make A point here.

Eddie, Your father's right.

You know How we've stressed

The importance Of a good education.

But, mom, Shanice's manager,

A professional In the business,

Said that I have talent.

What makes him A professional,

Because he wears Three earrings In one ear?

You know what? This is typical.

Whenever I get excited About something,

You shoot down my dreams.

Oh, no, I don't.

Say what you're really Thinking--

And what's that?

That you don't believe I'm talented enough To make it.

You don't have faith In me.

Edward, that's not it.

It is. Shanice believes in me.

Her manager Believes in me, And I believe in me.

These people--

I come to you For support,

And what do I get? Nothing.

[doorbell rings]

Hi, eddie.

Hi, shanice. Come in. Warm yourself.

What's-- What's all this?

Oh, well, I thought On a snowy day like this

It'd be nice To have a spring picnic.

That's a great idea, But I can't stay.

Well, why not?

My manager Got me an appearance On arsenio,

And my limo's taking me To the airport.

Oh.

Please don't be mad at me.

I'm not mad. I'm disappointed.

I was really looking Forward to today.

Can't you at least Have one deviled egg?

Sure. You know, I hate last-minute Schedule changes,

But it's all a part Of the business.

Well, I guess I better get used to it

If I'm going To be starting My own singing career.

What?

I was going to tell You later.

I'm passing up College

And starting My music career Right away.

What brought this on?

You and your manager Raved about my talent.

I wouldn't Want to disappoint My future fans.

Eddie, If you've got a chance To go to college,

Take it.

You sound just like My parents.

You don't believe I could make it either.

Eddie, look at me. I do have faith in you.

You can be successful.

Then why bother With college?

Because a degree Opens doors.

Also, you'll have Great experiences

That you'll be able to use In your songwriting.

Why are you Telling me this?

You went Straight to stardom.

You're not going To college.

But I plan on going.

What about your career?

It's going to have To take a back seat To my education.

Miss, if we don't get going, You'll miss your flight.

Thanks.

Thanks for the picnic.

You make A mean deviled egg.

I already Got something To fall back on.

Will you come with me To the airport?

Sure.

You're--you're--

You are-- You're--you're-- You're you!

Shanice, you remember My mom and dad.

Sure. Hi, Mr. And mrs. Winslow.

I enjoyed your Concert so much.

I can't get That song you sing Out of my head.

* can't you see Just how I feel? *

* it's for you *

* don't you know This love is real? *

* it's for-- **

We got to run.

I'm going With shanice To the airport.

I changed My mind again.

I'm going To college After all.

See ya.

Did he say He's going to college After all?

That's what he said.

You mean I haven't had An appetite in two days

And he's going to college After all?

Don't question it, carl.

Just be thankful.

Believe me. I am.

Hey...What's all this?

How did a basket Of fried chicken

End up in Our living room?

Don't question it. Just be thankful.

Hello, steve.

Yeah, I was wondering If you could come over.

There's something I wanted to talk to you--

What's up, baby?

Steve, were you Cleaning house On your birthday?

Well, it's like My mother says--

The dust doesn't know It's a special day.

Here, I got you A little something.

Happy birthday, Steve.

A present?

For me?

From you?

How--how--

Take me now, lord.

It's all downhill From here.

Open it.

"Half off The price of admission To cheese town."

Oh, wow!

Oh, thank you, laura.

I love it.

I'm glad You're happy.

I wanted To give you a party,

But I got A late start.

Everybody Already had prior Commitments.

No need to explain. I understand.

Why, it would take A miracle

For people to come To a party for me.

Well, I'm glad You understand because--

Surprise! Surprise!

* happy birthday to you *

* happy birthday to you *

* happy birthday, Dear steve *

* happy birthday To you *

* you **

Thank you, luther.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Thank you all From the bottom

Of my little urkel heart.

I've never been So happy.

You deserve it, Sugar,

Because We all love you.

Right, gang?

Well, I was here.

I figured maybe I might as well Stay for cake.

Blow out these candles

Before we have to call The fire department.

Did you make a wish?

I didn't have to, richie.

My wish came true

When all the people I love Gave me a birthday party.

Can I have a hug, Big guy?

Did I do that?

* you're always there *

* even when those times Are bare *

* oh *

* and you're the one I need *

* in my life *

* hey, you're the one I need *

* by my side *

* you're the one I need When I cry *

* you're the one I need... **