Original subtitles

Man, I'm like glad that's over. I hate funerals. They say black makes you look

thinner. Yeah, right. Drill three holes in my forehead, rent a pair of shoes,

and roll me towards some pins.

Murphy, would you please?

This is a real tragedy. Mitchell Thompson was one of the greats.

I thought it was a beautiful service.

Oh, please. All those news phonies standing around looking sad, trying to

close to the Entertainment Tonight cameras. I saw Andy Rooney pull out a

hair to try to work up some tears.

Well, my tears were real.

I can't imagine watching the Sunday evening news and not seeing Mitch's

face behind the anchor desk.

It's so heartbreaking.

Anyway, now that he's dead, who gets his job?

a little respect for the dead, it really is a great job. You keep your regular

spot, and you get to be solo anchor. More airtime, more prestige.

A crowning glory to anybody's career.

Not that we should even be talking about this now.

Have you heard anything about a replacement, Miles?

No, I haven't heard anything.

But if Gene Kinsella's considering any of you, I'm sure he'll confer with me

first. Well, I think if the network's looking for the perfect replacement for

Mitch, they don't have to look any farther than this newsroom.

You, Jim.

Me. Sure, if you've got the right style, America trusts you, the network would

be crazy to pass you by.

You're too kind, but don't overlook yourself, Murphy. You've got stature,

cachet. I wouldn't be at all surprised to see them select you.

Afternoon, people.

As the head of network news, I want to remind you all that while this was a

sad morning today, we should remember Mitch Thompson the way he was. Strong,

dignified, full of life.

Not the way we saw him today.

Stretched out in a box, wearing eye makeup and a pair of cardboard shoes.

But the news waits for no man.

We must go forward.

Jim, can I have a moment with you, please?

Certainly.

You know, for two seconds, I actually let myself think he might pick me. Who

I kidding?

I'm not solo anchor material.

I have freckles.

People don't want that in an anchor.

She'll be down at the mall shop with Jughead and Veronica.

Oh, come on, Frank. You're the best investigative reporter there is. What do

want with a boring desk job, anyway?

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Frank? Yes, Gene?

Would you excuse us for a minute? I want to have a word with Murphy.

Uh, of course.

Gene, I was just wondering, should I wait?

Why would you want to do that?

Because I'm living in a dream world.

Brownie, as sad as it is about Mitch, someone has to plan the Sunday newscast.

Now, as I've already told Jim, we have a very short list of candidates. Jim and

you. Me?

Gina, I don't know what to say.

Funerals make me thirsty.

It's going to be a very... It's going to be a very difficult decision, you see,

so... So we thought we'd have Jim do the Sunday newscast the first week, and

then you do it the next, just to see how it feels on each of you. You know, find

the right match.

Well, Gene, if my network needs me in this time of sorrow and loss, how could

possibly say no?

Jim's words exactly.

I knew I could count on you both.

Well, carry... Well, carry on, everybody. Mitch would want it this way.

Mr. Kinsella, I have concern over selecting either Jim or Mercy.

Silverberg, you worry too much.

Bad for the blood pressure.

Yes, sir.

Who the hell does he think he is?

Sitting up in his ivory tower playing anchor person chess like Zeus in all

bad Hercules movies?

You know, I'll tell you one more thing.

When I die, he better come up with something a little bigger than that FTD

-me -up bouquet.

So, This is an interesting turn of events, isn't it, Slugger?

Yeah. You know, for a moment there, it felt a little awkward, but I don't think

there's any reason for it to be a problem between us. Oh, of course not.

But do you believe Kinsella wanted us to audition? We've got 50 years of

experience between us. If the big brass doesn't know what we can do by now, they

ought to be in another business. I tell you, I've got a good mind to flat out

refuse to do it. I think you should.

I think it's insulting to you.

Yes, well, I think it's an insult to you, too.

Does he think he can do this to you just because you're a woman? That's what you

should tell Gene. Well, actually, it's not quite as insulting to me. After all,

you are the senior anchor. I bet if you hurry, you can catch him before lunch.

Or maybe just go along with his little plan so as not to stoop to his level.

Ah, good idea. I think I'll go along with his little plan, too.

Good. Good.

Well, good luck, Jim.

Good luck to you, too, Murphy.

Not that you need any luck. I didn't mean that.

I know. I know. I don't even want the job that much anyway.

Not that you shouldn't want it. I know, but I won't get it.

I won't get it. I hope you get it.

You've got it. Oh, you've got it.

I've got to let the network know I can do other things. Let's face it, Miles,

there aren't a lot of 60 -year -old investigative reporters.

What am I going to do when I'm old and my knees give out?

Come on, Frank. You've made good money, and I'm sure your investments will

support you in your golden years. Investments? Oh, yeah, right. Like the

bought my parents in Florida.

Two months later, I get a postcard. Greetings from Hurricane Ali.

Then there was the ice cream franchise. At the grand opening, they found a

finger in the mocha almond fudge.

Oh, yeah, I'm breaking it in. Frank, what are you worried about? You're going

be around for a long time.

Besides, you're too good for that anchor spot.

It'd be a waste of your talent.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

I'll give it some thought. See you back at the office.

You got an ugly job, Miles. Tell me about it.

No, Jim, I really think you've got it. Oh, no, I haven't got it. You've got it.

No, no, I mean it. No, I mean it.

No, really, Jim, I've been thinking about this. For Sunday nights, they'll

someone straightforward, conservative, sedate.

You know, it's a funny thing, Murphy, but hearing that description one could

almost get the impression I'm dull. Oh, no, no, no, of course not. I don't mean

that. I just mean I'm too colorful, too entertaining. They don't want that.

Well, you may be right. You'd certainly be the first actor who ever saran

-wrapped the toilet seat on Air Force One.

Oh, Jim, you're upset. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. Really, I didn't.

Well, neither did I. No hard feelings.

Why don't you sit down? I'll order us a couple burgers.

Thanks, Jim.

Phil, my good man, two burgers, medium.

Coming right up. Oh, Phil.

Let me ask you something.

How would you describe my on -camera style?

Oh, that's easy, Jim. You're strong, dependable, real pro.

Not like some of these young hot shots that just get by on personality.

What are you saying, that I have no personality?

Well, not at all. You're reliable, sure and steady. There are no surprises.

You think I'm predictable?

I didn't say that.

I just meant that you're from the old school, like Chet Huntley, Douglas

Edwards, Frank Revels. They're all dead, Phil.

Tell you what, Jim.

Here's a napkin.

Write down what you want to hear, and I'll act like a $20 hooker and try to

it like I mean it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I got some burgers to make.

Perhaps I'm not as colorful as some people, but I've been who I am for the

better part of 50 years, and I'm not about to change now.

What are you talking about, Jim?

Why would you want to change?

No reason at all.

In fact, Gene was telling me just last night how much the network likes my

style. Last night?

At dinner.

Or maybe it was on the ninth fairway. I can't remember.

You played golf with Gene?

He beat me, too.

He beat you? Gene couldn't sink a putt if the hole was the size of a manhole

cover.

He got lucky.

I shot a 19 on the last hole.

Home? Dinner? Why don't you just invite him for a sleepover?

That's next weekend.

Doris invited Gene and his wife out to my country house.

Oh, no, not the two of you. Acting competitive and petty over a job.

Jim, you're my voice of wisdom and maturity.

And Murphy, oh, God, I should have seen it coming.

You know, suddenly this table's feeling a little crowded.

I think I'll go someplace else to have lunch where I don't have to watch my

back. Excuse me.

Jim, as executive producer, I think it's time we had a talk. And I'm also going

to speak to Murphy. I'll bet she's going to find Gene and take him to lunch. I'm

all over her like a cheap soup.

Jim, here's the latest on your lead story.

Dan Pratt is in Bulgaria standing by on a radio hookup. Good.

Murphy, what are you doing here?

Jim, I just came by to apologize.

I wanted to make things right between us before your broadcast.

No, Murphy, I'm the one who should be apologizing.

I've never been challenged for a job by a good friend, and I'm afraid I haven't

been handling it very well.

I hate competing against you, Jim.

Now, let me suggest we stop making it worse than it is. I'll do my broadcast,

you do yours, and we'll let the anchor fall where it may.

Deal.

Oh, look at that. One minute to air, just like I said it.

Thanks again for the watch, Jim. You didn't have to do that. Don't mention

Harold. It wasn't that expensive, really.

You all know Murphy Brown. She'll be

sitting in next week.

I'll be bringing something for each of you then.

No, no, no, really. I just needed to find out your favorite cuts of meat.

Steaks? Chops, whatever you want. Just write them down and give them to Harold

here. I'll be by to collect them later.

Fifteen seconds, Jim. Better get in there. Feel free to stay and watch if

like. You can give me some pointers.

Have a good show, Jim. I know you'll do great.

Good evening.

This is Jim Dial with the news.

Our top story tonight is in Bulgaria, where an electrical fire has caused the

evacuation of an aging nuclear power plant.

Correspondent Dan Pratt is in a helicopter circling the disaster site

Dan, can you hear me?

Yes, I can, Jim. Dan, we're being told that the fire has been confined to an

area well away from the reactor. What do you see?

Good, isn't he?

Oh, I never watch.

Pestilence, disease, murder.

All the same to me.

540 bucks a shift.

Of course, a nuclear accident's a pretty odd story. It's hard to miss with that.

What else is up for tonight?

Riots in Haiti?

Student uprisings in South Korea.

Another airline went bankrupt. Geez, how lucky can you get?

You know, Corky, I always think of myself as a master clockmaker.

I work hard to keep the various personalities around me functioning like

well -balanced gears that come together as one synchronized piece of machinery

called FYI.

That's nice.

But maybe I'm not a clockmaker.

Maybe I'm really that skier from the wide world of sports.

The one who plummets down a mountain in front of millions of people.

Or maybe I'm that guy from the Ed Sullivan show who had the train bear

the bear fell off its bicycle and crushed him.

That's nice.

Are you listening to me?

Is your scalp always this flaky?

Corky. He did such a wonderful job. Don't you think he did a wonderful job?

Corky, we don't have to... And he was such a calming presence when that news

bulletin came in about the hijacking. As I'm sure Murphy will be when she gets

her turn. In the meantime, we're all very proud of Jim, as we will be of you.

And after a fair trial, whether Jim gets the job or you, we'll all congratulate

him or you with no hard feelings from you or him because in the larger

we're all on the same team. Right, Murphy?

And it's another happy day in Silverburg City.

used to seeing me in the casual styles of an investigative reporter, but there

are many facets to my personality.

All you need is a handlebar mustache and three other guys and you can sing Sweet

Adeline.

Some people are so petty.

Miles, I finished the copy for my story.

It's a new system. I'm still working on it.

You're my only sane one, Corky.

Oh, God.

Murphy. Make it fast, Miles. I've got to find out Lois Kinsella's favorite

Broadway show so I can send them a couple of tickets.

Murphy, have I ever shared with you my well -balanced gears theory? Yeah, yeah,

you're a clockmaker. Miles, I made an amazing discovery last night.

Jim is a very competitive person. Did you know that about him? I find it

shocking.

You think that Kinsellis would enjoy an outdoor gas grill? They seem like the

type. Murphy, you should have heard Jim. No, Murphy, I should apologize. It

wouldn't surprise me if he got Doris to hijack that 747. Well, let me tell you

something, clock boy.

If it's a fight Jim wants, he picked the right person to go up against.

Ha!

And I won't be betraying any confidences when I tell you the boys upstairs were

pretty impressed.

Jim! Just let me add my voice to the many who congratulate you on a job well

done. Thank you, Murphy.

Gene, don't you think Jim showed remarkable poise during that hijacking

bulletin, especially when the broadcast went into overtime?

Of course, now, unfortunately, Jim will be hated forever by millions of Murder,

She Wrote fans, people with all that disposable income so attracted to

advertisers. But, hey... Jean, I have some suggestions about the Sunday

news that I'd like to share with you. So do I have some suggestions about the

news. Like what?

Things. I can't go into them now. After work would be good for me, Jean. Me,

too. Many of my ideas are inspired by the writings of Edward R. Murrow. A

brilliant man. Of course, television has changed a lot since his day. My

suggestions are a little more current.

Such dedication from... you both.

I knew it was going to be a tough choice.

Thirsty.

Silverberg, are you sure you don't have some kidney problem?

Wouldn't surprise me.

Good evening.

This is Murphy Brown.

We've just received word that an earthquake struck Nebraska only moments

go live now to Kelly Wilkins, who was on the scene in Lincoln.

Kelly, we've not yet received any accurate readings on the magnitude of

quake, but you were there. How bad was it?

Not bad at all, Murphy.

Basically, a few windows rattled.

We do have unconfirmed reports that Jackie's eat and run on Route 9 lost a

of coffee cups.

Disruption of food services and basic human needs.

Not really.

No one here felt it.

A few dogs probably got scared.

Thank you, Kelly.

Well, there you have it. Man's best friend terrorized by freak earthquake.

In other news, no change in unemployment figures for last month. No change in

housing starts.

The inflation rate is steady.

The dollar is stable.

We go now to Wyoming, where Tim Edwards has a report on a terrible accident.

Are you there, Tim?

Murphy, Harvey the Grizzly Bear, a mascot at Yellowstone Park for 20 years,

into a deep pit this morning and could not climb out.

Any broken bones, Tim?

Is he dead?

He was completely unscathed. A helicopter came and lifted the sleeping

safety.

Tim, let me ask you, isn't it unusual for a bear to lose its footing? Is it

possible that Harvey did not actually fall into the pit? That he could have

pushed? Did Harvey have any enemies?

What? Another bear jealous of his celebrity.

What?

Well, no matter. The important thing is the bear is alive.

and a concerned nation breathes a heartfelt sigh of relief.

Amen.

Barbara Bush tried out a new hairstyle.

Dan Quayle attended his first bar mitzvah. Well, I can see I'm not needed

You guys saw the broadcast last night, didn't you? You were running away from

me. Was I really that bad?

Bad? Come on, what are you talking?

Last night you... didn't mispronounce a single word?

Very good pair.

Is there anything you want to add, Corky?

No, not really.

No? Well, then it appears this conversation has ended. Let the workday

All right, Jim, I know what's coming. Go ahead, take him and shoot.

Murphy, please.

I'd like to think the last two weeks hasn't completely undermined the

upon which our friendship was built.

When a co -worker is down, you don't kick them. Gee, Jim.

You give them a hug.

A big bear hug.

Oh, I'm sorry.

anchor types can recognize quality when we see them. I don't think so, Frank. I

rarely shop at Gangsters R Us.

All right.

All right. That is it.

You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

Letting this anchor job run away with your lives.

Have you forgotten why we're here?

We're journalists committed to one thing and one thing only.

informing the public.

What would Edward R. Murrow say?

I'll tell you what he'd say.

He'd say that when a journalist gets caught up in his or her own personal

agenda, that no less than freedom of the press is at stake.

I often think of myself as a clockmaker.

Too far.

But I do think it's time to make peace and get back to work.

Jim? Murphy?

That's right.

Jim, can you ever forgive me?

I'm so sorry, Murphy.

Chicklet?

Thanks.

People!

Jim, Murphy, just the two I wanted to see.

What are you doing, Fontana?

Moonlighting as a numbers runner?

That's right, Gene.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

And with any luck at all, I'll be shot tonight.

Well, as you can imagine, it was a very difficult decision to make. You both did

such a fine job anchoring the Sunday news.

Yeah, yeah, Gene, just say it.

Jim, I'm sorry we've decided to go with Murphy.

What? You have?

But, Jean, I was terrible.

Yeah, well, you'll do better, Brownie.

But the cold, hard fact of it is, you've got something going for you. The gym

doesn't. You're a woman.

We've studied the demographics, and our Sunday night viewership is largely

female.

Jean, I can't take this job. What are you saying, Brownie?

I've spent my entire career battling for acceptance because I'm a woman.

And now to get a job for that very reason?

Well, there's a word for that, Jean.

It's called sexism.

It would be hypocritical of me to accept this job.

I think you should give it to Jim.

Okay, I'll take it. Why do you think you'll take it?

I was just being noble. Now you have to be noble and turn it down. That's the

way it works. Everybody knows that. I don't want to turn it down. I want the

job. What is this we're seeing here?

Dissension in the ranks?

Well, I'm beginning to think it would be much simpler if we went outside of FYI

to fill this spot.

Silverberg.

You should have let me know there was a potential problem here. You've got to

learn to handle your people better.

You

weren't

terrible last night.

You got pushy and over -aggressive, and while pushy and aggressive are bad

traits in an anchor, they're what make you a great reporter.

I don't want you thinking you were bad at something. I know how much that

bothers you.

Jim, I've been thinking about why I acted the way I did.

It's possible that I was scared.

My life's been going through so many changes.

In the next few months, I'm going to have another human being totally

on me.

What happens if FYI falls through for me one day?

It's also possible that I hate to lose.

I mean, really, really hate to lose.

Apparently, so do I.

Well, I suppose we better get back to work with this whole sordid affair

us. I'll tell you what. I'll meet you for lunch at Phil's later. My treat.

Done.