Original subtitles

That's okay. I'll get it.

Are you sure?

Absolutely positive?

This is fantastic.

Thank you.

Yes, I've got it. The interview that was impossible to get. Come on, you guys.

Guess who it is. Guess.

Murphy, will you please?

We're busy people trying to put together an important news show. I did graduate

cum laude from Harvard to sit around playing 20 questions.

Is it Marlon Brando? No. Okay. I'll give you some clues.

Royalty. Come on, Jim. You can get this royalty.

Royalty. Royalty. Fine.

King Tut.

You said it was an impossible interview to get.

Queen Elizabeth.

Princess Margaret. No.

Okay. Clue number two.

Detroit. Well, see, it's not that guy on Michigan TV who calls himself the king

of gas barbecues, is it? Yes, Frank. That's why I'm so excited. I finally got

Roy from Butane World as my guest.

Princess Di.

Prince Charles.

No, that little kid. What's his name? Little Prince Chucky. Rex Harrison.

Harrison. Harrison Ford. Betty Ford. Shut up.

Can you hear me?

Jeez, what is with you guys?

Detroit royalty.

The Queen of Soul.

It's Aretha.

Aretha Franklin.

Just one slight problem.

Aretha is such a full interview.

I don't see how I can fit it into our usual 12 -minute segment. Oh, boy. Here

go again. Look, forget it, Murph. I am not cutting down another one of my

interviews just because you can't work within the time frame of the show.

That's right. You always do this.

The show is called FYI, not Murphy Brown and some other people who aren't that

important.

Now, let's be reasonable here, people. The only thing Murphy is asking for

I don't believe this. He's going to do it.

You're going to do it. Frank, would you put yourself in my place for one minute?

On the one hand, I've got Aretha Franklin and a possible 40 share. On the

hand, my highly paid news team's hurt feelings.

So, how much time do you need, Murphy?

Oh, hardly anything at all. An extra five or six minutes should do it from

of you. Are you out of your mind? Miles!

May I remind you that our new segment, The World According to Dial, premieres

this week's show.

Are you saying that you're going to cut it just to satisfy the gluttonous whim

of Miss Gimme Gimme Gimme?

Now, come on now, people. Let's see a little teamwork here. I'm sure if the

tables were turned and one of you came to Murphy for time, she'd give it to

wouldn't you, Murphy?

Oh, yeah, that'll happen.

get some work done here. So am I. My big interview is tonight.

Eldon, look.

These are the shoes Aretha wore when she played the waitress in the Blues

Brothers movie. I bought them at a charity auction.

Uh -huh.

And this is her first million -selling single, I Never Loved a Man.

Did you know Aretha was the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of

Fame? And she won't fly. She'll only take trains.

That's one of the reasons it was so hard for us to get together. Hey, hey, hey.

Geez, will you put that mouth in park for a second?

I've been trying to come up with a mural for the baby's nursery for over a month

now, and I'm blocking.

I mean, it not only has to be visually stimulating, it has to be politically

socially aware, and it has to have a lot of those cute little bunnies in it.

Tell me what you have so far. Oh, it's a historical montage of the white man's

massacre of the American Indians.

I don't know, Eldon.

You think Custer's last stand might be a little too explicit for an infant?

Of course it's too explicit.

What, do you think I don't know that? You think I like scaring little babies?

But it was real easy to work the bunnies into.

Oh, you see what I'm up against here?

Oh, Eldon, there's plenty of time.

She's not due for seven months.

Where's the time going?

I mean, I never worked with a deadline before. I even went out and...

Bought one of these, a calendar.

Did you know that June came before September?

Eldon, don't worry.

Everything will be fine. You'll figure it out, and then when it's done, you'll

step back from your masterpiece, and you'll say that this... Oh, God,

only has 28 days?

Two minutes to air, people!

Miles, I got Derek, our driver, on the phone. Aretha's train was delayed two

hours outside of Toledo, but it's definitely due to arrive any minute. Let

talk to him.

Miles Silverberg wants to talk to you.

Small glasses.

Are you the same guy he drove to the urologist? Give me that.

We go live in a little over one minute, Miles. I know, I know.

Yeah, it's me.

Derek, I want you to call the second Miss Franklin's train pulls in. And

wait for her luggage.

Just...

It did? Great. Get her and bring her here ASAP.

Listen up, people.

Aretha's train has arrived and she's on her way. Of course she's on her way. Why

wouldn't she be on her way? She's a queen of soul, for God's sake.

Okay, okay, here's the plan. Since we go live in... 60 seconds. 60 seconds.

Instead of Murphy's interview opening the show, first up will be Frank's.

That'll give Aretha plenty of time to get here. All right, places, everyone.

This is it, Frank.

leading off an historic show, the segment before a refund.

Quite an honor for you. Don't you talk to me. Because of you, my story is a

crummy four and a half minutes long.

Be quiet, Frank.

I have to breathe now, and I need to ask Murphy if it's all right to use my

share of the oxygen.

In this gym, my big moment, and these guys can't let go of their petty

Tell it to somebody who gives a rodent's behind.

We have a very special program that's caused a lot of excitement around here

this week.

As hundreds of Kuwait's oil wells continue to burn, wreaking social and

havoc for generations to come.

Jim?

Thank you, Frank, for that astonishing, albeit very brief, look at the

devastating scourge inflicted by a madman.

Hey, my pleasure.

I should have been here by now.

Frank, although it wasn't covered in your edited piece, I understand well in

Kuwait you spent time with that legendary oil firefighter Red Adair.

Uh -huh.

That must have been pretty exciting.

Oh, yeah.

Frank, why don't you tell us about it?

You had to be there.

Okay. We'll be back after this message.

Commercial. Come commercial.

And we're clear.

Hello. Derek, where are you?

Vermont Avenue.

Vermont Avenue? What's he doing that far north?

He was forced into a detour. The sewer lines in front of the Senate exploded

again.

Derek, we're counting on you.

He said he could have her here in eight minutes.

Eight minutes?

I can't keep yammering with Frank. Eight more minutes? You see the state he's

in? I looked into his eyes.

There was something cold and dead in there.

Jim, you don't have to stall. When we come out of commercial, we'll go to

Corky's piece.

Yes, Corky's piece. That'll give Aretha plenty of time to get here. So it'll all

work out fine. All right, look alive. Coming back from commercial in five,

three, two... Welcome back.

And now, Corky Sherwood Forrest takes us on a behind -the -scenes glimpse at a

museum dedicated to a man who literally changed the face of Hollywood.

Movie makeup artist Max Factor. Corky?

Thank you, Jim.

It all began in a little town in Russia for a boy who had a vision, a dream, and

a family full of amazingly unattractive women.

At our last stop on the tour, the Max Factor boutique, it's comforting to know

that while the man himself may be gone, his wide variety of fine skin and hair

products live on.

Excuse me.

I think I gave you a 20.

This is Corky Sherwood Forrest reporting.

Thank you, Corky, for that.

Corky, in watching your segment, I couldn't help but wonder...

Max, is that short for anything?

Maxwell or Maximilian?

Back to million.

Max.

You also mentioned that Mr. Factor is known as the father of the human hair

How did that innovation come about?

Well, I'm not really sure, Jim.

You see, I wasn't able to get into as much detail on my story as I would have

liked.

is that they use too much concealer.

As a result, it builds up in their facial creases, especially around the

Around the eyes, you say?

Maybe there's a better way to illustrate this.

Carl, give us a tight close -up on Murphy.

on the times in which we live, the world according to diary. Cheers.

Yes, well, thank you, Murphy.

My commentary tonight is on the Pentagon budget.

They spend too much and they should stop.

I'll tell you why next week when I have more time.

introducing my commentary. My commentary was... This is all your fault. You cut

my... Jack!

Jack! Hello?

Derek, where are you?

Chinatown? How did you get way over there?

No, no, no. Don't waste any time telling me. You just get her here. Do you hear

me? I don't care how you do it. You just... You're 20 minutes away and I've

33 minutes of show to fill.

We're dead.

We're not dead, Miles.

All we have to do is stretch a little more.

Oh, yes. It's so easy when you're... I'm not the one doing the stretching. I've

used every word in the English language except lavalier.

Turn the camera on me. I'm ready to go.

Lavalier, lavalier.

I'll give you 20 seconds.

Fine, I'll just stretch by myself.

I know a lot about Aretha. You may want to take notes. You're about to watch a

professional journalist at work in the face of a crisis.

final segment tonight murphy brown brings us something i can hardly wait to

thank you jim respect that's what it's all about

whether my guest tonight got her first taste of it as a little girl singing in

her father's gospel choir or by a remarkable recording career that made

undisputed queen of soul one thing's for certain she's earned her share of it

i'm talking of course about Aretha Franklin.

But before Aretha joins us, I'd like to share some personal things about the

woman and her music, of which there is so much.

Let me start with my favorite song, Respect.

Of course, she's had so many hits, Natural Woman, Chain of Fools, Baby, I

Love You, but...

Given the unfortunate time restraints of television, it would be impossible for

me to list them all.

Spanish Harlem, Daydreaming, and Rocksteady.

Well, how about that? I guess I could name them all. I only wonder which of

these classics she'll sing for us when she joins us tonight.

And she will be joining us.

But first... I'd like to let you know where it all happens.

The piano.

The conduit through which Miss Franklin's message is delivered.

Yes, the piano. A Steinway Grand. The professional's choice.

The professional, in this instance, being one Miss Aretha Franklin.

The piano, well, this particular one, black, with, um, 88

keys.

Three, four.

Well, I'm sure they're all there.

Ebony and ivory.

Oh, she didn't write that, but I'm sure she could sing the hell out of it.

Did I mention that Aretha's won more Grammys than any other female vocalist?

Well, I think it bears repeating.

Aretha's won more Grammys...

If I understand correctly, your intense drive to succeed in show business was

the result of a deep need for a father's affection.

Yep. Even as a child, I'd go up into the woods with my little 8mm camera and

take movies of the deer and elk goring each other with their antlers. My dad

went crazy over that stuff. I remember one summer vacation, we went up into

cougar country in Banff with about 10 pounds of raw meat.

Oh, gee, Carl, I see we're getting the cue to wrap it all up.

I guess that means the show's over.

How did that happen?

Well, I guess it's back to you, Jim.

Bye. Where did the time go?

Our apologies to Aretha that we ran out of time. We hope she can come back again

soon. We sincerely hope you'll come back again, too.

From all of us at FYI, this is Jim Dial.

Good night.

That wasn't too bad.

We still managed to fill up the whole hour.

I think the network will give us credit for that.

Who am I kidding?

We're dead.

I'll take away my key to the executive washroom.

The faucets turned on by themselves, John. I'll never see that again.

Murphy.

Before the show, we were all so upset. We were hoping something really awesome

would happen. What awful would happen to you? You know, like your hair

collapsing on air or a pit bull getting into the studio and attacking you or...

What was yours, Frank?

Spontaneous combustion.

In our wildest fantasies, we didn't want you to suffer like this.

And if you need us, we're here for you.

would have needed the extra time.

Once saw a chicken do that at the county fair.

Aretha.

Yes, I missed the show, huh?

Oh, only by a little bit.

God, I can't believe you're standing here.

Oh, me either.

Sixteen hours on the train.

And then we drove around in circles for hours.

I can relate.

You wouldn't believe what the last hour of my life's been like.

Yes, I could.

I saw it on TV in the back of the limo.

I haven't seen anything that embarrassing since a moth flew in my

Hollywood Bowl.

Well, tonight was bad, all right.

But, you know, the humiliation wasn't the worst part.

It was that I missed the chance to be two feet away from you when you sang. I

always wanted that.

Closest I ever came was Section 12, Row D at RFK Stadium.

You know, I realize I'm not the biggest audience you've ever played for, but

I'd sure be the most appreciative.

Okay? Scoot -o.

Ooh, a Steinway professional's choice.

Looking out on the morning rain

I used to feel

so uninspired

And when I

knew I had to face another day

let's get one thing straight i'm not martha and you ain't no vandella yeah

i'm a solo act okay

was much better that time.

Go ahead and sing. I know it's killing you.

that you've got, but don't show up at the Grammy.