Original subtitles

Previously on Z Nation...

I thought there was a mission

that dictated our each and every action

and that anything was justifiable

in service of the mission.

CITIZEN Z: The Centers for Disease Control

is offering an enormous bounty for Murphy's safe delivery.

- What the hell is going on? - A damn Murphy free-for-all.

- Where's Cassandra? - I mercied her.

I gave her life. And you had no right to take that away.

She wasn't human. Not since you bit her.

(GRUNTS)

(WHISPERS) Not right now.

DOC: Flashlight. No batteries.

Half a bottle of aspirin.

Well, I got no ammo. Found this.

I got two batteries and four bullets.

I got two in my gun. Two randoms in those.

- You got gum? - For repair purposes only.

- Remember fresh breath? - Oh.

Couple of bullets. Road flares.

I got one empty clip.

You know what? See if these fit.

I know this looks shaky,

but we will find a way to get Murphy to California.

Well, I'm hungry.

Hey, Sleeping Beauty.

(ECHOES) What are you looking at?

DOC: Murphy.

- Wake up, man. - What?

Help me find some lunch. Nuts, fruit, edible tree bark.

Edible tree bark, huh?

(GROANS AND SPITS)

How does Euell Gibbons do it?

Don't eat that tree.

(SPITS) Terrible aftertaste.

- (HORN TOOTS) - Let's roll! Come on, Murphy!

- Well? - Two gallons.

- Maybe three. - If we get 10 miles a gallon...

It'll get us halfway to Plainview.

- Hey, where's Murphy? - He's right behind me.

DOC: Damn it, Murphy!

(THEME MUSIC)

- SONG: ♪ Have mercy... ♪ - (THREE GUNSHOTS)

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh Have mercy. ♪

WARREN: How do you just lose Murphy?

What do you mean, he was just behind you? Really?

(GRUNTS)

(YELLS) Help!

Help!

Doc!

Doc! Warren!

Your mission's fallen down the rabbit hole!

Vasquez!

Your bounty's missing!

Help!

ADDY: I'm gonna be really pissed if my last words

are "Murphy, where are you?"

We may as well be saying,

"Here we are, zombies. Come and get us."

Murphy better hope he's not around when I reach 9,999.

Easy, kid. We gotta find him first.

Well, I think it's somewhere around here.

DOC: Oh, and don't eat the bark off them skinny trees.

Starts out tangy but then goes south in a hurry.

Oh, maybe it was over here.

At least you didn't flinch.

Better.

Good.

(METAL THUDS)

(CHOKES)

(HANDCUFFS CLICK)

(ZOMBIE SNARLS)

(SQUELCH!)

Oh, damn. I was hoping we'd find him here napping.

That slippery bastard's gonna spend the rest of his days

in shackles if I have anything to say about it.

And I do.

(MAN HUMS)

Oh! Your eyes follow me like a creepy painting.

That's weird for a Z. Zombies are more like...

(MOANS)

I can't really do it.

(SAW BUZZES)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Didn't wanna kill him. This one was a handful.

Hiding in the dark to surprise me,

kicking my Z-catcher away.

Trying to remove my helmet. Ugh!

Sometimes I do wish I was a doctor.

Consider myself more of a collector, but...

Letters after a name do not a genius make.

Those... quacks at the CDC ignored me.

They should've listened to me.

What have we here?

Male, zombie. Well preserved.

You're fresh for a zombie.

But fresh Zs are agitated and wild.

They only want to feed. But you are so mellow.

(WHISPERS) Water...

Oh! That's interesting.

I've yet to meet a Z that could speak.

And I've met a lot of Zs.

Does your brain resemble his brain?

I'll have to remove your brain from your head to see.

- No. - No?

Bad idea?

- (LAUGHS) - (WHISPERS) Wa...

Wa... Speak to me, zombie. You can do it.

- (WHISPERS) Water. - Synapses may be firing.

Wanker.

Water? You just asked me for water?

- Yeah. - A zombie is asking me for water.

Which is the water?

(MOANS)

Are you sure, bright eyes? (LAUGHS)

You just maxed out the zombie IQ test. (LAUGHS)

You're looking severely dehydrated.

There you go.

Slowly.

(WHISPERS) More, please.

(CHUCKLES) My first talking Z.

(LAUGHS)

It's like meeting a unicorn that craps diamonds.

It's interesting.

Your flesh is deteriorating,

but you are compos mentis.

A conscious, aware, thirsty zombie?

What are you?

My friends and I had car trouble

when I accidentally stumbled into your pit.

Wait here.

(MOANS)

Can I help you with something?

More water?

I'm not as isolated as might appear.

My zombie safaris take me out of my zipcode, and on occasion,

I catch interesting internet and radio chatter.

CITIZEN Z: There's a man travelling among you.

He's the only human known to have survived a zombie bite.

His blood has the antibodies to create a vaccine.

It is imperative that he be transported alive

to the Centers for Disease Control lab in California.

His name is Murphy.

Survivor of a zombie bite?

That'd make some kind of half-man, half-zombie.

That'd be a far-fetched story.

A story that would require irrefutable evidence.

MAN: Oh!

You are The Murphy!

(LAUGHS)

There, there, Mr Murphy.

Do a Zombie's cuts get infected? The flesh is rotting.

I'm not a zombie. (INHALES SHARPLY)

- And you feel pain? - Uh, yeah.

What is up with those cards?

I'm constantly observing and recording data all the time.

- (ZAPPING) - (CRIES OUT)

(PANTS) What the hell was that for?!

Pain is a useful teacher.

Hey, listen. Um... Is this thing really necessary?

I've heard tell of The Murphy.

The stories suggest you are the most dangerous man half-alive.

That's absurd. Listen.

My friends are gonna be looking for me.

Friends?

You mean the bounty hunters who were taking you to the CDC lab?

The CDC are idiots!

I thought we'd covered that.

MURPHY: These are all unopened.

After a while, they stopped reading my warnings.

They were probably in on it.

The people actually want to handle it.

The people are sheep.

Stay away from the CDC.

I will admit that my interactions with the CDC

have left me less than impressed.

Thank you, Mr Murphy.

It is refreshing to hear you say that.

- (ZAPPING) - (CRIES OUT)

Sorry! Total accident.

Damn it! Be careful with that thing.

- You can relax, Mr Murphy. - Can I?

Yes, because I don't want the bounty.

I just want to know what it is to be you.

MAN: Imagine if the biggest Comic-Con ever

did it with the Smithsonian.

Voila.

MURPHY: You're making a zombie museum?

It'll be much more than that when we open the restaurants,

the nightclubs and the gift shops.

And it won't be like one of those candy-ass Comic-Cons

where they ban real weapons.

You're banned from Comic-Con?

I'm a zombie hunter. Of course I'm carrying.

Costume play? Cosplay?

Not a real word. Ridiculous! There is no play.

I told them this was coming.

They'll listen to me now. Of course they're all dead.

MURPHY: Nice to have something for the kids.

MAN: 'White Zombie'. Have you seen this?

I missed that one.

I am not what you would call a hardcore fan of the genre.

Released in 1932.

It is the grandfather of the American zombie film,

starring Bela Lugosi.

'White Zombie' introduced the notion

that shooting a zombie in the chest would not kill it.

And they were right.

'I Walked with a Zombie', from 1943.

Taps into the Haitian voodoo roots of the mythology.

You see, Caribbean slaves feared

they would remain servants even in death.

I've had that nightmare.

MAN: The one that started it all for me.

Zombie lore has been part of the collective consciousness

for decades, but the works of George Romero

had a massive influence on the culture.

Weaving social commentary into a monster movie

gave his films a resonance.

It's in black-and-white?

- What's your favourite scene? - Who can pick just one?

I think it's so scary when the little girl turns

and the mother just stares.

Her baby is now a monster.

Eh. It happens.

What about your mother?

- My mother? - Mm-hm.

She's gone.

MAN: Mine too. Zombies?

No. Before.

Oh. I'm sorry, Murphy.

It's hard in this world with no-one to look after you.

Yeah, well. I'm not him anymore.

'Dawn of the Dead', 2004.

Now, this one, I did see.

Scary AND funny. That's how I liked my zombies.

A satisfying remake of the Romero classic

and a stinging rebuke

of America's consumer-driven society.

I get it- zombies as consumers

driven by the mindless desire

to obtain useless shiny stuff, blah, blah, blah.

- (ZAPPING) - (CRIES OUT)

And to set it in a suburban shopping mall? Genius.

Romero never explained why the dead rise.

The not knowing is much more horrifying, don't you think?

The knowing is pretty horrifying too.

I get the feeling you were often misunderstood.

MURPHY: First impressions were never my strong suit.

Not very good at second impressions either.

You are unique, Mr Murphy.

I can see you are to be revered.

I can see you sitting on a throne

dispensing the wisdom of men, zombies

and all that will come after men.

People will travel great distances

to be in your presence.

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.

Has there ever been a zombie movie that captures

how exhausting and dirty the apocalypse is?

I'm filthy all the time.

I blow my nose and mud comes out.

You want a shower?

You have running water here?

Hot water?

- (WATER RUNS) - Hot enough for ya?

I hate to ask, but what happens when this thing hits the water?

Like a toaster in the tub.

(LAUGHS) Kidding. It's waterproof.

Enjoy.

- Murphy! - Ghost town.

- Nothing but quiet. - Nothing. No-one here.

Without Murphy, there's no mission.

Keep moving.

For as important as this guy is, we sure lose him a lot.

Murphy!

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

(GROANING AND SNARLING)

MAN: Wait! Wait!

- Wait! Wait right here! - (SNARLING CONTINUES)

Murphy, that suit is so you.

(GROANS)

You're busy. The others will be expecting me.

I'm kinda their mission.

Have I been talking to myself?! You are their pawn!

I am nobody's pawn!

So, I'm gonna leave you two. I'll see myself out.

It's a left, left, down the stairs and to the right. Right?

(WEAPON FIRES)

MAN: My basement, my rules.

Damn.

You'll never make it to California.

That is insane.

If the CDC wants to see you,

they're gonna have to come to me.

If anybody wants to see you,

they're gonna have to come to ME!

- MURPHY: What are you... - How was your sleep?

Those elephant darts sure pack a punch.

What are you doing to me?

Getting you miked up.

Oh, blood sample.

Your miracle blood might warrant its own exhibit.

- (ZAPPING) - (CRIES OUT)

(PANTS) Damn it!

That'll sober you up.

What is this?

Keeping proper records is the most important part

of scientific research.

Plus, $12 admission price,

the public will expect interactive exhibits.

In three, two...

Welcome to the National Institute of the Zombie Arts.

I am Dean Madeline, founder.

I'm joined by the only known human

to survive being bit by a zombie.

Welcome.

- (ZAPPING) - (CRIES OUT)

As you can see, Mr Murphy feels pain.

At this stage of his evolution,

his central nervous system responds to 50,000 volts.

Welcome.

Thank you.

It's my pleasure to be here.

Mr Murphy, I'd like to take a DNA sample.

A simple swab.

- Say 'aah'. - Aaah!

- (ZAPPING) - (CRIES OUT)

I have so many questions,

but the most reliable data

will come from your cells.

As you can see, I'm taking a plasma sample.

And...

What is that for?

This 6-inch needle... 8-inch needle...

is for collecting a bone marrow aspiration.

A bone marrow what?

A simple test to determine

whether you're more human or zombie.

Bone marrow tells you that?

Won't know if you don't try.

That's the best part about science.

Trying!

- (SQUELCH!) - (MURPHY SCREAMS)

- (SNARLING) - ADDY: Heads up!

Nobody's here.

Finally, the opportunity to hear

directly from The Murphy in an exclusive interview

that will dispel the rumours and conjecture.

Can't I just pee in a cup?

Describe the circumstances

of the life-altering, history-making attack

that left you infected with the HZN virus.

Yes, well...

A few months into the zombie outbreak,

I volunteered for a secret government research program.

- (ZAPPING) - (SCREAMS)

What?! (PANTS)

If you don't tell the truth, who will?

I was in prison.

MURPHY: A scientist used the prisoners

as guinea pigs to test serums

to fight the zombie virus.

Most of the batches didn't work.

Mine did. I think.

The lab was overrun by zombies moments later.

And they left me.

The zombies attacked me,

bit me, tore my body open.

But I did not die.

What would you like to say

to the unprofessional CDC doctor

who left you in that lab?

- That I will keep my promise. - What promise?

I will...

hunt you down and eat your brains!

Brains.

And for other zombies?

Life is very simple.

One goal always, driving them forward.

What do brains taste like?

I don't know. I've never tasted them.

Mr Murphy,

the world's only living hybrid man-zombie,

will now consume a human brain for the first time.

- Actually, I would rather... - (ZAP!)

(GROANS)

Mmm.

- Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! - (LAUGHS)

- OK, we're gonna go on three. - Uh-huh.

- One... - (ZOMBIE GROWLS)

I said on three!

We do a three count every house, we'll be here all day.

(HUFFS)

What's it like to be a zombie whisperer?

That's how rumours get started.

Can you control another zombie with your mind?

Now, wouldn't that be something?

DEAN: What about that zombie in the pit?

- Wasn't that you? - No.

Are you saying that I captured you

and the smartest zombie I ever met in the same day?

When you're hot, you're hot.

What happens when you bite a human?

Nothing.

Nothing special.

MURPHY: They die.

Do you feel connected to the Zs?

I feel like a father.

Father? That's an interesting choice of words.

Are you a parent?

I was, briefly.

I had a daughter. She was so beautiful.

But I had to give her away.

I promised myself I wasn't gonna do this.

What happened?

Enough questions.

Well, I think that went quite well.

I'm gonna take this sample off to the freezer.

And I'll be back for that urine sample.

(SOFT GROWLING)

(ZOMBIE BUMPS TABLE)

You have opposable thumbs. Do this.

That a boy.

- (CUTTER WHIRRS) - Shhh! We know it works.

Focus up!

(WHIRRING STOPS)

Unbelievable.

(ZOMBIE GROANS)

That was awesome!

You're like a puppet master!

- (ZAP!) - (ZOMBIE GROANS AND DROPS)

Thank you, Dr Henderson. That'll be all.

I knew it was you in the pit with the zombie. I knew it!

DOC: Murphy!

Murphy!

DOC: Come on, man.

Alright - we need to fan out

or we won't find Murphy by nightfall.

Well, why we got to split up? I hate that.

MURPHY: What is this?

DEAN: The main exhibit hall.

Rudimentary, I know, but my zombie collection is growing.

(ZOMBIES GRUNT)

Don't worry. It's not really radioactive.

DEAN: I mean, the diorama isn't. The zombie might be.

- (ZAP!) - Toxic waste poisoning.

Probable cause of death. No bite marks on him.

Phyto Z?

DEAN: Phyto?

- (ZAP!) - (ZOMBIE SCREAMS)

(LAUGHS) I've been calling her plant woman.

Phyto is better.

- Where did you find these? - Hunting far and wide.

Not easy, the CDC should be putting

this kind of effort into observing Zs,

instead of playing poker in their lab all day.

There are some awesome mutations happening.

How did you capture a blaster?

Blaster? You're good at this.

(ZAP!)

DEAN: This one was clever.

Probably in proximity to a nuclear blast.

Blaster. Got it.

Part of his brain still works. He can learn things.

I'm gonna teach him how to juggle.

You can't keep live zombies like this.

It's perfectly safe. The invisible fence keeps them...

Almost forgot. Over here.

Celebrity zombie room.

Presenting George R.R. Martin.

Who the hell's that?

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

He wrote 'A Song of Ice and Fire'.

- 'Game of Thrones'? - We didn't get HBO in the clink.

DEAN: Well, he's my only celebrity Z so far.

How?

I was at the last Comic-Con when it all went down.

Some dirty guy with a crossbow tried to help George escape.

Got eaten. I helped George and his girls escape.

But they didn't last long without room service.

Watch this.

DEAN: He has amazing muscle memory

from all those years of signing books.

It's a reflex.

I have hundreds of these.

I'm gonna make tons of money when eBay comes back.

I'm gonna be damn rich!

(GROWLS SOFTLY)

MURPHY: Nice.

Maybe you can do your mind thing

and help him finish his next manuscript.

Maybe. Is it any good?

- They're always good. - 'Summer ls Here'.

It's already 800 pages. How long does it need to be?

I was thinking about typing "The End" on the last page.

We'll kill everyone in the next book.

- Can I have this? - Yeah, sure.

(GROANS)

Not gonna happen.

Time to go.

DEAN: I have no trouble making you bleed!

I can see you sitting on the throne

dispensing the wisdom of men, zombies

and all that will come after men!

DEAN: Mr Murphy.

I'll cut you in for a percentage of the gate. That's fair.

OK, fine. I can go 10% of concessions.

Not counting liquor sales.

I tell you what, I'll throw in liquor sales,

but only after my sweat equity has been recouped.

- (DOOR RATTLES) - Oh, come on! Come on!

Where's a zombie when you need one?

Man! You are a tough negotiator.

20% of all concessions, including liquor, and we split

the George R.R. Martin book sales down the middle.

- Open the door. - 50/50. Come on! That's fair.

Unlock the door or die!

(ZOMBIE GROWLS)

OK, Murphy-

It's gonna be like this all the time? Fine.

(BUZZ!)

Go!

(ELECTRICAL ZAPPING)

Prima donna.

(WHEEZES AND SNARLS)

Betrayed. That's what I'm feeling.

I've been too nice, and you're too dangerous, so...

I have no choice but to drain your blood and freeze it.

You can't freeze my blood.

Says who? Some CDC quack?

- The antibodies. - They'll figure it out.

- Or I will. - I'm the mission.

- (ZAPPING) - The mission is over!

- Oh! - You're not unique, Murphy.

Though perhaps your blood is.

And anybody who wants a sample

can walk right up to my front door.

(SNARLS)

You have some range.

You don't even have to be right next to the zombie.

(CHUCKLES) This is really something.

(ZAPPING)

(DEAN LAUGHS)

What else can you make him do?

Will he... will he sing if you sing?

(ZAPPING)

We... we could do this to music.

We could add a lightshow!

Be quiet.

(ZAPPING)

(ZAPPING CONTINUES)

Yes?

I'm looking for a friend.

Haven't seen anybody.

(ZAPPING STOPS)

- (ZAPPING) - He's a tall guy.

Kind of weird blueish skin.

- Blueish fella? Is he ill? - (ZAPPING CONTINUES)

ls there anyone else in this town?

Nobody.

Anywhere else my friend might have gone?

Sorry.

Good luck.

(ZAPPING)

(ZAPPING STOPS)

You almost made me kill your friend.

Don't be embarrassed, Murphy.

Enough volts would humble any man or zombie.

(SOFTLY) Murphy?

Murphy?

(SNARLING)

(ZAP)

(ZAP)

Murphy?

Murphy, you OK?

What is this?

(INAUDIBLE)

(ZAPPING)

DEAN: You bleed slowly.

- Anybody ever tell you that? - Yes.

Well, look who's Mr Agreeable all of a sudden.

The Murphy and His Amazing Zombie Boy. (CHUCKLES)

I want to see what happens when you bite a human.

Quit lying to me and show me.

- You don't have to do this. - DEAN: Yeah, he does.

Do not let him turn me into one of those things.

One of what things?

I don't know what he's talking about.

"(ZAPPING) - Arggh! Oh!

Patronise me again and you will limp

for the rest of your undead life.

I'm too weak.

VASQUEZ: How about you? Anything?

Nothing.

Told you we should've put that guy in a collar.

(GUNSHOT)

That shot definitely came from that way.

DEAN: That's just a warning shot.

No, just kill me. Just shoot me in the head!

I want to see what happens when Mr Half-Zombie Man

bites a living, breathing human being,

and it's gonna happen now

or I'm gonna start putting holes in people!

DOC: Murphy!

Oh, hey.

10K. He left us a trail of crumbs.

MURPHY: There's nothing to fear.

I don't fear you. I hate you.

If you're the key to mankind's survival,

we should all just go to hell.

Finally, something we agree on.

- (ZAPPING) - Ohh! Arggh!

(GASPS) I'm working here!

It won't be that bad.

What you did to Cassandra was worse than death.

Just let it happen, kid. You won't be afraid anymore.

- (ZAPPING) - Ohh!

No! Please, Murphy. No!

Don't bite him on the face! Don't bite him on the face!

I'm tired. You took all my blood.

Bite him on the chest, just like yours.

OK. OK.

(GIGGLES MANIACALLY)

It'll all be over in a second.

No, no, no!

Is this what you want?

Yes! Show me what it feels like to be a zombie.

- (MOUTHS) - Arggh!

(SCREAMS)

Look at me.

(SCREAMS)

Look at me!

Bite me!

Now you know what it feels like to be me.

There's no mercy in my world.

Don't watch this.

(ZOMBIES GNASH AND SNARL)

(PANTS)

I'm glad you found me, kid.

Now get me the hell out of here.

Murphy. Murphy, you OK?

- Murphy? - (SNARLING)

Murph... Murphy, wake up.

Hey, I'm with him.

What is all this?

10K: Come on, Murphy. Wake up!

Wake up, Murphy! Murphy!

Come on. Wake up! Murphy!

Murphy!

How'd a phyto get all the way down here?

- Oh, I hate them blasters. - Yo, I got two bullets left.

- Anybody else? - I gave mine to 10K.

- Don't look at me. - I got two. 10K!

Draw 'em over this way!

I'm out.

The weirdest freaking zombies.

The zombie fun pack. Collect all 10.

DOC: Well, what happened to him? Murphy, can you hear me?

He's OK. You're gonna be OK.

Oh! Look who's still alive.

It's OK if you don't want to talk about it.

- That's why I'm not talking. - Yeah. No, I get it.

VASQUEZ: I have half a mind to leave this on.

How about a cowbell?

That'll attract Zs.

Yeah, well, what difference does it make?

He yawns and they come running.

Is that all of it?

You feel like you're missing six pints?

Mmm, I don't know.

I've been unconscious a lot today.

Alright, well, hold still.

You should feel better soon.

What do you care?

Bags of blood are here. Take 'em. They're yours.

Go get your cure.

Try not to run off again.

We're all counting on you to stay alive.

Warren.

Promise me...

you won't leave me alone if we make it to California.

I promise you.

Saddle up.