Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- I WAS WITH JOYCE,

AND SHE'S GOING TO PUERTO RICO,

AND I WAS THINKING, WOULDN'T IT BE FUN IF WE WENT TOO?

- YEAH.

- JOYCE'S DAD DIED YESTERDAY.

YESTERDAY JOYCE CALLED ME

TO TELL ME THAT HER FATHER PASSED AWAY.

- IF THAT'S THE CASE, WE SHOULD NOT GO.

- ON THE TRIP. YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD CANCEL.

- YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST HUSBAND,

THE BEST DADDY, THE BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD.

- THE BEST HUSBAND AND THE BEST DADDY.

- I'M SUPER SHOCKED THAT KYLE AND LISA

ARE BFFs AGAIN.

THIS IS WEIRD.

- I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE CALLED ME YESTERDAY

AND NOT TEXTED ME TWO MINUTES BEFORE.

- DARLING, I'M SORRY.

- YOU'RE CANCELING TWO MINUTES

BEFORE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE?

I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT?

I THOUGHT WE WERE CLOSER THAN THAT.

- ARE YOU SURE, YOLANDA--

- SHE KNOWS THAT I WOULD BE ATTENDING

TO THE WEDDING OF MY STEPDAUGHTER.

- MAYBE SHE JUST FORGOT. SHE HAS GOING ON SO MUCH--

- AMNESIA?

- GOD, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW SUPPORTIVE KEN AND I HAVE BEEN

OVER THIS WHOLE-- I'M ON RICHARD'S SIDE.

FORGET IT. IT'S DONE.

- AND THE REASON I WANT TO SAY IT IS NOT TO MAKE IT WORSE.

IT'S SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD, BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT--

- BUT I HAVE MOVED FORWARD.

- I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MOVE FORWARD IN A FRIENDSHIP

WITH SOMEONE THAT POSSIBLY IS ONLY USING ME

TO GET WHAT THEY NEED.

I KNOW THAT LISA KNEW THAT SHE KNOWS EDDIE'S MISTRESS

BEFORE SHE MET ME.

LISA'S PLAYING THE BIGGEST CHESS GAME OF ALL.

THERE'S A REASON FOR EVERY [bleep] MOVE.

SHE'S PLAYING ALL OF US.

[upbeat music]

- I'M FROM THIS TOWN.

I KNOW WHAT'S REAL AND WHAT'S FAKE.

- DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

ACT LIKE ONE.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS, THE HIGHER YOU CLIMB, THE FARTHER YOU FALL.

- EVERYBODY LOVES A COMEBACK STORY,

ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.

- IN MY WORLD, MONEY DOESN'T TALK--IT SWEARS.

- YOU COULD NEVER BE TOO YOUNG, TOO THIN, OR TOO HONEST.

- LIFE IS A SEXY, LITTLE DANCE, AND I LIKE TO TAKE THE LEAD.

- I'M GONNA GO FORWARD WITH THE TRIP TO PUERTO RICO

BECAUSE I WANT THE GIRLS TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

AND TO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL ISLAND,

AND I KNOW MY FATHER WOULD HAVE WANTED IT THAT WAY.

HE WOULD HAVE WANTED ME TO CONTINUE WITH MY LIFE.

- I'M GOING, AND IT'S GONNA BE AMAZING.

I'M NOT SURE THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A HARMONIOUS TRIP,

SHALL WE SAY?

WHEREVER WE'RE GOING, VALLARTA,

RICA--COSTA RICA-- WHEREVER WE'RE GOING.

THINK I'VE GOT ENOUGH PINK BRAS?

- WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A BLACK ONE, THEN?

- IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF TRIP.

- THAT'S A HUGE BAG.

WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF YOUR BAG,

AND WHY DON'T WE PUT SOME STUFF IN IT?

- I WANT TO SEE WHAT I LOOK LIKE IN THIS SUITCASE.

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING ON A VACATION.

I SPEAK SPANISH.

I SAY THINGS LIKE...

[speaking Spanish]

- ALEXIA, SOPHIA, DID ONE OF YOU STEAL MY BLUE BIKINI?

- NO!

- AND THEN YOU STOLE HALF OF MY RED ONE.

I DIDN'T GET VERY FAR IN MY CONVERSATION WITH LISA,

SO I'M HOPING THAT A FEW DAYS OF FUN IN PUERTO RICO

WILL BE GOOD FOR US.

- GIGGY, I KNOW YOU'RE DEPRESSED.

HE HATES IT WHEN HE SEES A SUITCASE.

- HI. - BUENOS DIAS.

- HERE YOU GO.

- SO I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING REALLY QUICK

NOW THAT WE'RE ALL HERE.

YOU GUYS ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY FATHER.

AND...

AND, UM, I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU GUYS

BECAUSE WE HAD BEEN PLANNING THIS TRIP.

SO I DIDN'T WANT IT TO BE A SAD TRIP,

AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE A SAD TRIP.

I WANT YOU GUYS TO HAVE A GREAT TIME

IN MY BEAUTIFUL PUERTO RICO.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A PITY PARTY

BECAUSE MY FATHER HATED THAT AND I HATED THAT.

SO I WANT US TO ALL GO HAVE FUN

AND HAVE A GREAT TRIP IN PUERTO RICO.

OKAY?

- EVERYBODY DEALS WITH GRIEF DIFFERENTLY,

AND I THINK RIGHT NOW IT'S NOT ABOUT US.

IT'S ABOUT HER, AND WE HAVE TO GO,

AND WE HAVE TO SUPPORT HER.

- VAMANOS. - VAMANOS.

I WAS MISS PUERTO RICO A LONG TIME AGO.

IT WAS 1998.

AND WHEN I STILL GO BACK HOME,

I STILL FEEL THAT SAME LOVE AND THAT SUPPORT.

- WELCOME.

WELCOME TO PUERTO RICO. WATCH YOUR STEP.

- THANK YOU.

- GRACIAS. GRACIAS. - [speaking Spanish]

- JOYCE, WHERE ARE WE GOING?

IT BETTER BE-- JOYCE, IT BETTER BE GOOD.

- HOLD ON.

- YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT. YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.

- IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD FOR ME TO HOLD MY TONGUE FOR THIS LONG,

AND I KNOW I NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH LISA.

IT'S GOT TO HAPPEN SOON BEFORE I EXPLODE.

- GRACIAS. ¿COMO ESTA? - SI.

LET'S GO UP HERE. MY NAME IS STEVE.

I AM VALET FOR CASITAS.

LET ME HELP YOU WITH THE LUGGAGE, SIR.

- HOLA, HOLA. ¿COMO ESTA?

- BIENVENIDO. WELCOME. - GRACIAS.

- MY NAME IS STEVE.

WE HAVE SOME WELCOME DRINKS HERE FOR YOU.

- GRACIAS. CHEERS, YOU GUYS.

CHEERS, CHEERS, CHEERS.

TO A NICE TRIP, TO BEAUTIFUL PUERTO RICO.

- WELCOME TO PUERTO RICO.

- BIENVENIDOS. WELCOME. FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.

- [speaking Spanish]

- WE'LL TAKE UP... [speaking Spanish]

[frogs croaking] - WHAT IS THAT NOISE?

- IT'S A LITTLE FROG. IT'S THE NATIONAL FROG.

IT ONLY LIVES HERE, AND IT'S CALLED COQUI,

AND WHEN YOU HEAR THEM SING IT MEANS THEY'RE MATING.

- OH.

- YOUR CASITAS.

- ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.

- YEAH, YOU'RE WELCOME.

- ALL RIGHT, THEN.

- OCEAN VIEW. - OH, HOW PRETTY.

- YOU CAN ENJOY THE SUNRISE.

- WHAT TIME DOES THAT HAPPEN?

- AROUND 6:00, QUARTER TO 6:00.

- YEAH, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING.

- OKAY, IT'S NOT QUITE THE BATHROOM LIKE AT HOME-ISH.

- DARLING, WE'RE RIGHT OUTSIDE THE POOL.

- ARE WE SHARING THIS BATHROOM?

GIGGY'S BATHROOM IS BIGGER THAN THIS.

- STUNNING VIEW-- I LOVE IT.

- NO, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK FOR US AT ALL.

I DON'T THINK I'VE SHARED A BATHROOM WITH KEN,

AND I DON'T THINK I WANT TO.

THAT KIND OF BATHROOM LEADS TO MARITAL PROBLEMS.

I DIDN'T COME ON HOLIDAY TO RELAX

AND SEE HIM SITTING ON THE TOILET.

LET'S BE HONEST.

- [groans]

[chuckles]

- I'M HAVING A GLASS OF WINE

'CAUSE I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT A FEW THINGS.

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

HOW IT CAME UP.

BEING WITH ALL THE GIRLS TODAY,

I JUST--I'M JUST REALLY SURPRISED

OF HOW ALL OF A SUDDEN DYNAMICS HAVE CHANGED

IN THIS GROUP. - COMPLETELY CHANGED.

- LIKE, ALL OF A SUDDEN, I SEE, LIKE...

- LISA HASN'T CALLED ME IN A WEEK.

- SHE'S NOT TALKING TO YOU. I DON'T SEE HER AROUND YOU.

- SHE CALLS ME EVERY MORNING.

- USUALLY SHE'S, LIKE, RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE,

NEXT TO YOU.

- I FEEL LIKE-- I SAID, "I'VE CALLED YOU.

"YOU'VE NOT CALLED ME BACK.

"YOU USUALLY CALL ME EVERY MORNING.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND."

AND I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M ON THE DOWN.

LIKE, THINGS AREN'T GOING GREAT FOR ME,

BUT THAT'S WHEN YOU KNOW WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE.

SO MUCH HAS BEEN BUILDING UP WITH LISA,

AND EVERYTHING'S REALLY STARTING

TO KIND OF TEAR ME DOWN INSIDE.

LISA HAS TO BE INVOLVED IN EVERYTHING.

SO, EVEN IF IT DOESN'T INVOLVE HER,

SHE'S PUTTING HER NOSE INTO IT.

THIS IS FROM KYLE.

IT GOES WITH THE NECKLACE THAT SHE GAVE YOU.

- THAT'S WEIRD.

THAT NECKLACE WAS BLUE, WASN'T IT?

- THEN SHE WALKS AWAY AND DENIES EVERYTHING.

- SHE SAID DOES--

I SAID, "DOES IT GO WITH IT, THE BLUE THING?"

AND SHE SAID, "NO, IT DOESN'T."

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID.

- YOU SAID IT DOESN'T EVEN GO WITH THE NECKLACE.

- NO, I DIDN'T. NO, I DIDN'T.

- SHE ONLY REALLY SEEMS TO SHOW CONCERN

WHEN OTHER PEOPLE ARE AROUND.

- I'M FINE.

- "I'M FINE" DOESN'T WORK WITH ME.

- I'M FINE. - LISA.

- AND WORST OF ALL,

SHE'S CONSTANTLY PUSHING SCHEANA ON ME,

THE [bleep] WHORE THAT [bleep] MY HUSBAND

WHILE I WAS PREGNANT.

- YOU'RE LUCKY SHE DIDN'T BEAT THE [bleep] OUT OF YOU,

'CAUSE SHE WOULD--

- WELL, THIS RING MIGHT HAVE MADE AN INDENT.

- OH, CUTE. CONGRATULATIONS.

- YOU'RE NOT HAPPY FOR ME.

- WHEN DO YOU ASK SOMEONE IF THEY ARE YOUR REAL FRIEND

OR SOMETHING ELSE?

- YOU CAN'T KNOCK DOWN YOUR FRIENDS

ON THE WAY TO YOUR SUCCESS.

- OR PICK AND CHOOSE WHEN THEY WORK FOR YOU.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- WELL, THE THING IS SHE'S ALREADY STEPPED ON KYLE.

SHE'S NOW KIND OF PULLING AND STEPPING ON ME.

AND IT'S LIKE--BUT SO NOW SHE'S GOING BACK TO KYLE,

BUT, LIKE, HOW DOES THAT--

- BUT WHERE IS EVERYBODY'S MORAL COMPASS IN THIS?

I MEAN, WHY DOES SOMEBODY CAN HURT YOU THAT DEEPLY

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

WITHOUT HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT

JUST PRETEND EVERYTHING IS OKAY?

LISA NEVER HAS ANYTHING NICE TO SAY ABOUT KYLE.

SHE JUST HASN'T, AND THAT'S THE TRUTH.

- YOU'VE JUST GOT TO PUT YOUR HOUSE ON THE MARKET,

AND YOU'RE GONNA BOND REALLY QUICK.

[laughter]

OH, GOD.

- THEN SHE SWITCHED FROM THERE

TO ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE'S BACK TO KYLE

THROWING PARTIES.

WELL, SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THAT PICTURE.

I'M NOT A FAKE PERSON LIKE THAT.

I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HER THIS TOMORROW,

IS, LIKE, THE FACT THAT--

- ARE YOU GONNA TELL HER TOMORROW?

- I NEED TO. I CAN'T WALK AROUND FAKE.

I'M DONE WITH ALL THIS HOLLYWD BULL[bleep],

YOU KNOW, OF PRETENDING EVERYTHING IS OKAY.

- I WANT TO BE TRUE TO MYSELF

AND NOT LET THIS BULL[bleep] KEEP HAPPENING.

HAVING SAID THAT, I'M STILL SCARED OF HER.

- OOH, BLOODY HELL.

- WINDY. - YEAH, IT IS.

BEAUTIFUL, THOUGH. LOOK AT IT.

THIS IS WHY WE CAME.

- AFTER YOU, DARLING.

OH, IT'S PROBABLY GUAVA JUICE.

- MORNING. - THIS IS WHY WE CAME.

- HELLO. - HEY, THERE'S OUR HOSTESS.

- HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS.

- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD MORNING.

- BUENOS DIAS. - BUENOS DIAS.

- WHO WANTS SOME BAGEL CREAM CHEESE?

- THESE ARE DELICIOUS, GIRLS.

THEY'RE CALLED QUESITOS.

NORMALLY THEY MAKE IT VERY LONG WITH CHEESE INSIDE.

IT'S A VERY TYPICAL THING HERE.

BECAUSE I'M SPENDING THE AFTERNOON

WITH MY MOTHER AND MY FAMILY,

FOR THE LADIES I'VE ORGANIZED,

THEY'RE GONNA GO TO PALOMINITO.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL ISLAND.

THE BEACHES ARE STUNNING.

THE FERRY'S GONNA LEAVE TO TAKE YOU GUYS.

GIRLS, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

- BYE. HAVE FUN, HONEY.

- HATS ANYONE? - OH, MY GOD.

- [speaking Spanish]

[chuckles]

[boat horn blares] - HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS.

I JUST FEEL LIKE THE [bleep] IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FAN.

- COMING UP...

- YOU'RE MOVING AWAY FROM ME AND MOVING BACK TOWARDS KYLE.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M REALLY UPSET.

- LISA, WALKING AWAY IS NOT GONNA SOLVE IT.

- LOOK AT THIS GORGEOUS WATER.

OH, MY GOSH, AND THE SAND IS SO WHITE.

- THIS IS AMAZING. - IT'S BEAUTIFUL, RIGHT?

- GIRLS, LOOK AT ME. GIRLS, ONE, TWO, THREE.

[camera shutter clicks]

- OH, MY GOD. - THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

- THIS IS MY IDEA OF AN ACTUAL VACATION.

- THIS IS WHY WE'RE HERE.

- BYE. THANK YOU.

- IT'S SO CUTE.

- OH, MY GOD, IT'S SO WARM.

- HOW'S THE WATER?

- WOW. IT'S GORGEOUS.

- WELCOME TO PALOMINO ISLAND.

- WOW. IS IT NO ALCOHOL?

- NO ALCOHOL, RIGHT HERE.

- CHEERS.

- DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, A VIRGIN PIÑA COLADA AS WELL?

- YES, I DO.

- BEAUTIFUL. - NO ALCOHOL?

I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT IT WAS ACTUALLY AN OPTION.

IF I'M GONNA SPEAK TO LISA,

THE MOST STRATEGIC PERSON ON THE PLANET,

I'M GONNA HAVE MY "A" GAME ON,

SO NO COCKTAILS FOR ME.

- DO YOU HAVE TO STICK THAT ASS IN MY FACE?

- YEP.

- OKAY, JUST CHECKING.

- WHO WANTS TO GO FOR A SWIM?

GUYS, YOU WANT TO GO FOR A SWIM?

- NO, THANK YOU.

- I'LL GO.

- UGH.

- THERE ISN'T A BAD VIBE ON THE SAND.

THERE ISN'T A BAD VIBE IN THE WATER.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

[both laugh]

- AY YI YI.

- BRANDI'S FRUSTRATED AND VERY HURT.

AND I HAVE MY OWN THINGS WITH LISA.

- OH, YOU'RE NOT REALLY GONNA PLAY FOOTBALL, ARE YOU?

- JUST GONNA HIT THE BALL--

- JUST RELAX. HAVE A LOUNGE.

DON'T BE SUCH A BOY.

- [groans]

- IF I DON'T START THE CONVERSATION,

NOBODY WILL.

SO I WANT TO GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH.

- DID YOU ORDER LUNCH, YOU GUYS?

- WE ORDERED DRINKS.

- I ORDERED A CHICKEN SANDWICH.

AM I IN THE SUN AT ALL? - NOT AT ALL.

- OKAY.

- LET'S SIT SOMEWHERE WHERE WE CAN TALK.

- WAIT. WHAT HAPPENED?

- BRANDI'S UPSET BECAUSE SHE FEELS

THAT THERE'S A DIVIDE IN THE GROUP.

YOU KIND OF, LIKE, FLIPPED AND STOPPED CALLING HER.

YOU THREW A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR MAURICIO AND--

- BUT THAT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH BRANDI.

THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HER.

IT'S RIDICULOUS TO SAY I'VE GOT CLOSER TO KYLE.

YEAH, WE DECIDED TO HAVE A PARTY TOGETHER.

WHOOP-DE-DOO.

- IT KIND OF HAD TO DO WITH EVERYBODY,

BECAUSE WE ALL THOUGHT THAT YOU SAID

THAT HE WAS A USER AND THAT HE WAS FRIENDS WITH--

- OH, COME ON, WE HAD WORDS. WE SORTED IT OUT.

SUDDENLY SHE WAS KIND OF COZYING UP TO ADRIENNE,

AND I KNEW A LOT OF IT WAS BASED AROUND

THIS WHOLE BUSINESS DECISION,

BECAUSE THEY WANTED THE LISTING ON ADRIENNE'S HOUSE.

- BUT DID YOU EVER SORT IT OUT?

- YES.

WE DECIDED TO RESOLVE IT,

AND THAT'S PART OF LIFE, ISN'T IT, HAVING DIFFERENCES.

YOU RESOLVE THEM, AND YOU MOVE ON.

- BUT NOBODY ELSE IN THE GROUP KNEW YOU GUYS HAD MOVED ON.

- BUT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO? IT'S KYLE AND I.

- BECAUSE WE WERE ALL PART OF IT.

IF YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A STATEMENT

ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE'S HUSBAND,

THEN YOU GOT TO BACK IT UP.

AND IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT THAT STATEMENT,

YOU GOT TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.

BUT THAT HAS NEVER COME OUT OF LISA'S MOUTH.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS.

- BUT WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY?

- BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO TRY AND UPSET ME NOW.

- BUT WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION.

- NO. - WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION.

- I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG, YOLANDA.

I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG.

- ARE WE FRIENDS, OR ARE WE NOT FRIENDS?

AM I YOUR HOLLYWOOD FRIEND, OR AM I A REAL FRIEND?

- OKAY.

- ARE WE GIRLFRIENDS, OR ARE WE HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS?

- WHY ARE YOU BEING SO AGGRESSIVE?

- I'M NOT AGGRESSIVE. I DON'T LIKE YOU WALKING AWAY.

WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION, A HEART-TO-HEART.

- BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE UPSET NOW.

- CAN I JUST INTERJECT HERE?

I THINK A LOT OF THIS HAS TO DO WITH ME, ACTUALLY.

- WHY? - BECAUSE--

- I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOU.

- I USED TO TALK TO YOU ALMOST EVERY MORNING.

YOU DECIDED TO BE BEST FRIENDS WITH KYLE AGAIN.

- KYLE AND I HAVE HARDLY SPOKEN.

- SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE CALLING HER IN THE MORNINGS NOW.

- OH, DARLING, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

- LIKE, I WANT TO KNOW, LIKE, THAT MY FRIENDS ARE AROUND ME,

EVEN WHEN I'M NOT ALWAYS RIGHT AND THE CHIPS ARE DOWN.

- SINCE I'VE KNOWN YOU, YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN UPSET,

AND I'VE ALWAYS COMFORTED YOU.

I REALLY HAVE. WE'VE HAD SOME DIFFICULT TIMES.

AND I'VE BEEN THERE. - SHE'S GONE THROUGH A DIVORCE.

- YEAH, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU'RE MOVING AWAY FROM ME

AND MOVING BACK TOWARDS KYLE.

BUT IT DOES FEEL THAT WAY.

YOU HAVEN'T CALLED ME.

YOU HAVEN'T CHECKED IN ON ME LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO.

- OH, I HAVE, BRANDI. BRANDI--

- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE?

- BRANDI, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CALLED ME?

I DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WAS AN ISSUE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M REALLY UPSET.

- LISA, WALKING AWAY IS NOT GONNA SOLVE ANYTHING.

- WELL, I DON'T WANT TO STAY.

- YOU SEE, THAT'S THE THING.

WE'RE JUST TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION,

AND SHE KEEPS WALKING AWAY, YOU KNOW?

- I DIDN'T GET TO EVEN START, REALLY, WHAT I WANTED TO SAY,

BECAUSE LISA WALKED AWAY BECAUSE SHE CAN'T HANDLE

HAVING JUST AN HONEST CONVERSATION.

IT'S JUST FRUSTRATING.

- SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART

WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN ORDER TO GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL,

AND SHE SEEMS TO BE AFRAID OF THAT.

- HELLO. - WHAT'S UP?

- [crying] THEY'RE JUST MEAN. - HUH?

WHO'S MEAN?

- ALL OF THEM. - WHO'S MEAN?

- ALL OF THEM, AND I WANT TO GO.

- YOU ALL RIGHT?

- I'M NOT A MEAN GIRL. I'M NOT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE.

- IT'S DIFFICULT FOR ME

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN IN THAT POSITION TOO,

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING SO HARD TO PUT IT BEHIND US

SO WE CAN MOVE FORWARD.

- I DON'T WANT TO GO AGAINST LISA,

BECAUSE I'VE SEEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO AGAINST LISA.

BUT I FEEL LIKE RIGHT NOW WITH KYLE,

I HAVE TO BE FULL DISCLOSURE,

BECAUSE KYLE KEEPS RUNNING BACK TO LISA,

AND LISA WANTS TO TAKE HER [bleep] DOWN.

KYLE NEEDS TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

WE WERE LEAVING FOR PALM SPRINGS FROM MY HOUSE.

YOLANDA WAS THERE, LISA WAS THERE.

I HAD THE TABLOIDS AT MY HOUSE THAT WERE NOT GOOD.

SHE PUT IT IN MY LUGGAGE.

SHE GOES, "YOU NEED TO BRING THIS."

AND I SAID, "I'M NOT [bleep] BRINGING THAT."

AND SHE PUT IT BACK IN MY LUGGAGE.

AND WHEN WE WENT TO LEAVE, I PUT IT BACK IN THE HOUSE.

AND I'M JUST-- I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU.

I'M NOT THAT PERSON. I DIDN'T--I'M NOT--

LIKE, WE ALL KNOW IT EXISTS.

WE DIDN'T NEED TO, LIKE, HAVE IT.

FOR WHAT? FOR WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.

- YOU WHAT?

- I'M AN IDIOT.

BECAUSE LISA AND I HAVE HAD A FRIENDSHIP

THAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REPAIR,

HEARING THAT, IF IT'S REALLY TRUE,

FELT LIKE A KNIFE IN MY CHEST.

- KYLE, HONESTLY, I WOULDN'T--

- I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW THAT.

- YEAH, I GOT TO THAT HOUSE, AND THEY WERE THERE.

I JUST WAS LIKE, "I'M--NO. LIKE, THAT'S NOT HAPPENING."

- [sighs] WOW.

- I'M YOUR FRIEND, RIGHT?

BUT IS SHE?

- COMING UP...

- I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

I'M PISSED. I'M [bleep] PISSED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU.

- HONEY!

- I'M SUCH AN IDIOT.

- I'M YOUR FRIEND, RIGHT?

BUT IS SHE?

WHEN YOU GET MAD, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO TO YOUR FRIENDS?

OR YOU HAVE A DISAGREEMENT--

THAT'S THE KIND OF STUFF YOU PULL?

- WELL, CLEARLY THAT'S NOT MY FRIEND.

IT'S SO FUNNY, BECAUSE I HEAR [bleep] ALL THE TIME,

THAT, "I WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT."

- NOT LIKE THAT, AND THAT'S SO BIG.

- I REALLY HOPE THAT WHAT BRANDI IS SAYING IS NOT TRUE.

BUT DESPITE WHAT LISA HAS SAID,

SHE HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF ME.

- THERE'S ALL THESE NASTY RUMORS ABOUT MAURICIO.

- I THINK LISA'S NOT DONE PUNISHING ME.

- THAT'S THE REASON I MADE UP WITH YOU THAT DAY.

THAT'S WHY I HUGGED YOU IN THE BATHROOM,

BECAUSE I COULD NEVER IMAGINE ME BEING IN THE POSITION

THAT YOU WERE IN THAT DAY,

WITH THE MAGAZINE COMING OUT, YOUR BABY'S INVOLVED.

- [crying] I CAN'T TAKE SOMEONE BEING SO MEAN TO ME.

- PLEASE DON'T CRY.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND I

JUST SEEMED SO-- - PETTY.

- SO PETTY, AND IN THESE TIMES,

YOU STAND UP FOR YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

AND YOU PROTECT EACH OTHER.

- I WOULD NEVER SIT AROUND LIKE THAT

IF ONE OF MY FRIENDS WAS UPSET.

WOULD YOU SIT THERE

AND SIT AROUND AND TALK ABOUT THEM, HUH?

- WHAT IS THAT? - CHICKEN.

- LISA.

- NO, THANKS, KYLE. - YOU WANT TO COME OVER HERE?

- NO, I'VE BEEN THERE.

FIVE AGAINST ONE IS NOT MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME.

I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM.

I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ALMOST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

- I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY, YOLANDA,

YOU HAVE TO BRING IT UP WHEN WE'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.

- WHY WOULDN'T I BRING IT UP?

- BUT IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

- THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, KEN.

- WHAT? THAT'S MY WIFE.

SHE'S UPSET. SHE WANTS TO GO HOME.

- UPSET BECAUSE WE'RE HAVING A CONVERSATION?

- WHY DON'T YOU LET BRANDI DO IT?

IF BRANDI'S THE ONE WHO'S UPSET--

- DARLING, YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ANYTHING.

- IF WE WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH KYLE AND MAURICIO, WE WILL.

NOBODY TELLS ME WHO TO BE FRIENDS WITH AND WHO NOT TO BE.

- THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T APPRECIATE

YOU TALKING TO ME THAT WAY, OKAY?

- LIKE WHAT?

- I'M HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR WIFE.

- NO, YOU WEREN'T. YOU CAME OVER TO TALK TO US.

- SHE'S 55-SOMETHING YEARS OLD.

- I'M ACTUALLY 52, THANK YOU.

- 52. IT DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU DON'T NEED TO SPEAK FOR HER.

I'M NOT 12 YEARS OLD. I'M AN ADULT WOMAN.

YOU KNOW, AND WHAT, YOUR WIFE DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH?

- YO, WAIT.

- I DON'T LIKE TO BE TALKED TO

BY SOMEBODY'S HUSBAND.

WHAT I'M SEEING IS A WHOLE OTHER SIDE

TO KEN AND LISA

THAT I DON'T REALLY LIKE.

IT'S LIKE, COME ON.

- DID YOU TELL BRANDI TO PACK THE TABLOIDS

FOR PALM SPRINGS?

- PACK THE TABLOIDS?

WHAT TABLOIDS?

- THE TABLOIDS THAT HAD LIES ABOUT MAURICIO.

- NO.

- THAT'S WHAT I HEARD,

THAT YOU TOLD HER SHE SHOULD BRING THEM TO PALM SPRINGS.

- I DIDN'T SEE THEM.

I DIDN'T SEE THEM TILL AFTER WE GOT BACK.

SHE BOUGHT THEM AND HAD THEM AT HER HOUSE, I THINK.

I'M NOT SURE.

- I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW THAT...

- I DON'T THINK THEY WERE EVEN OUT--

- WHOEVER'S MY FRIEND IS GONNA REALLY BE MY FRIEND

AND TELL ME THE TRUTH AND BE HONEST

AND NOT HURT ME AND SUPPORT ME.

- I DON'T THINK THEY EVEN HAD THEM IN PALM SPRINGS.

- I WISH THAT LISA HAD SAID TO ME,

"I WAS JOKING. OH, I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

WE WERE MESSING AROUND."

THAT--I WOULD HAVE BEEN HURT, BUT I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED.

I'M SO CONFUSED.

[knock at door]

- HI! - HELLO.

- HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

- BABY. - AY, DIOS MIO.

IT'S ALWAYS GREAT TO BE AROUND MY FAMILY.

EVEN TOUGH I'VE MODELED AND I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS,

TO MY FAMILY, I'M STILL THEIR BABY.

I'M STILL JOYCITA.

- THE CHEF IS HERE. THIS LOOKS WONDERFUL, CHEF.

- REMEMBER WHEN YOU COME THE FIRST TIME

OR--YEAH, THE FIRST TIME,

AND WE WENT TO MARIBELLE'S HOUSE?

- YES, I REMEMBER THAT-- WHERE WE HAD THE BIG PARTY.

- YEAH.

- WHEN I JUST ARRIVED FROM THE FREAKING AIRPORT,

AND YOU DRAGGED ME INTO A MASSIVE PARTY

OF ALL MY LATINO FAMILY.

THAT WAS WILD.

- THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME HE WAS SHOCKED.

THAT WAS, LIKE, A CULTURAL SHOCK FOR HIM.

IT WAS, LIKE, A HUGE PARTY, AND IT WAS, LIKE, 150 PEOPLE.

AND I'M LIKE, "YEAH, EVERYBODY'S MY FAMILY."

AND HE'S LIKE, "EVERYBODY?"

AND I'M LIKE, "EVERYBODY'S MY FAMILY."

- A BIG, BIG FAMILY.

- AND HE'S LIKE, "WHAT A BIG FAMILY DO YOU HAVE."

AND POOR MOMMY'S LIKE,

"I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND TOO MUCH WHAT HE'S SAYING.

"HE HAS AN ACCENT.

I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND TOO MUCH."

I THINK IT'S ALWAYS GREAT TO BE AROUND MY FAMILY.

MY FAMILY IS SUCH A LOVING AND SUPPORTING FAMILY.

IT'S TIME LIKE THIS WHEN PEOPLE NEED SUPPORT.

- COME, WE GO FIND YOU DESSERT.

WE'LL FIND SOFIA A LITTLE DESSERT.

- I MISS YOU A LOT.

- WELL, YOU HAVE TO MOVE WITH ME.

AND YOU CAN SEE THE KIDS EVERY DAY AND PLAY...

- YES.

- EVERY DAY WITH THEM.

- PROBABLY ONE OF THESE DAYS.

- WHAT DAY? THAT'S WHAT YOU KEEP SAYING.

FOR SO MANY YEARS, "ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL MOVE."

- I PROMISE YOU I MOVE.

- MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG,

AND I'M VERY, VERY CLOSE WITH MY MOM.

WE TALK ABOUT THREE TIMES A DAY.

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

- SO HOW YOU FEEL?

- I'M OKAY. - YOU'RE OKAY?

- YEAH. - YES, BECAUSE...

- I'M A SAD A LITTLE BIT, BUT I'M OKAY.

I THINK IT JUST-- YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

IT JUST--THE PAIN I THINK JUST IS ALWAYS THERE A LITTLE BIT,

BUT--BUT IT'S OKAY.

- DON'T BE SAD, OKAY?

- I FEEL REALLY AT PEACE

BECAUSE I HAD A LAST CHANCE TO SEE MY FATHER

AND TO SEE HIM IN A GOOD SPOT.

HIS LAST WORDS WERE, HE TOLD ME,

"GO. I'M HAPPY. ESTOY FELIZ."

SO I THINK HE'S JUST WATCHING FROM HEAVEN

AND TAKING CARE OF ME.

- SO MUCH BETTER YOU BE HAPPY, AND THEN...

IT'S GOOD TO BE HAPPY.

LIKE ME, WHEN I PASS AWAY.

- NO. YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME, NO.

- NO, YOU HAVE TO BE HAPPY TOO. - THEN I'LL DIE.

- NO, UH-UH. - NO, NO.

- I'LL SAY THAT, WHEN I HAVE TO GO, I'M GOING.

VERY HAPPY TO. - NO.

[voice breaking] I LOVE MY MOM SO MUCH.

SHE'S MY HERO, AND SHE'S MY INSPIRATION,

AND I HOPE SHE'S AROUND WHEN I DIE,

BECAUSE I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITHOUT HER.

- DON'T BE SAD, OKAY?

NO, DON'T BE.

DON'T CRY, MY BABY.

OKAY.

[boat horn blares]

- SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

- BRANDI HAD A BUNCH

OF THE MAGAZINE TABLOIDS WITH ALL THE LIES.

- WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE MAGAZINE, YEAH.

- YEAH, AND WE WERE ALL HEADING DOWN TO PALM SPRINGS,

AND WHEN LISA STOPPED BY, SHE SAID,

"OH, YOU NEED TO BRING THE MAGAZINES."

AND BRANDI SAID, "NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

WE'RE GOING DOWN TO, YOU KNOW, HAVE A WEEKEND."

AND LISA PUT THEM IN BRANDI'S BAG, YOU KNOW?

- THAT'S NOT COOL.

- AND BRANDI TOOK THEM OUT.

AND THEN LISA PUT THEM BACK IN THE BAG.

LISA WANTED HER TO BRING THEM DOWN TO STIR THE...

- THE [bleep] UP... - MM-HMM.

- AT MY EXPENSE.

- AT YOUR EXPENSE AND KYLE AND YOUR CHILDREN, BASICALLY.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

- IS THAT TRUE?

WELL, THAT'S A [bleep] BITCH IF YOU ASK ME.

- RIGHT?

THESE LIES HAVE HURT MY SISTER, HER HUSBAND, HER KIDS.

- AND THEN SHE'S REACHING OUT TO KYLE AFTER ALL THAT STUFF?

- LISA'S OUT FOR LISA,

AND SHE DOESN'T THINK ABOUT OTHERS.

- IF SHE HAD THEM,

I WOULD BE EXCITED TO SEE IT, WOULDN'T I?

PACK THEM, PACK THEM. DON'T BE SILLY.

- WELL, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

- I THINK BRANDI'S LOOKING FOR TROUBLE, YOU KNOW.

I GUESS SHE'S HAD IT WITH KIM AND KYLE AND JOYCE

AND TAYLOR AND ADRIENNE.

I GUESS IT'S ONLY MY TURN.

WHY DIDN'T SHE PACK THE TABLOIDS?

- 'CAUSE SHE SAID SHE TOOK 'EM BACK OUT AGAIN.

SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DO THAT.

- OH, SHE-- [laughter]

- YOU BELIEVE THAT? - OKAY. ALL RIGHT, THEN.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE.

- IT'S JUST THE HARDEST THING.

IF YOU CAN'T COUNT ON YOUR OWN FRIENDS THAT KNOW YOU WELL,

WHO THE [bleep] CAN YOU COUNT ON, YOU KNOW?

- I TOLD KYLE TO BE CAREFUL.

- THE STORY THAT I JUST HEARD FROM KIM

WAS--LIKE, WAS VERY UPSETTING TO ME.

- WHAT? - AND I'M [bleep] SHOCKED.

- ABOUT WHAT?

- IF IT'S TRUE OR IF IT'S NOT TRUE.

- ABOUT WHAT?

- IS THAT ABOUT LISA TELLING BRANDI

TO TAKE THE MAGAZINES DOWN TO PALM SPRINGS?

- YEAH. - IT'S SUCH A LOAD OF RUBBISH.

- I DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE PALMS--THE MAGAZINE.

- SO YOU NEVER PUT THE MAGAZINES IN?

- I PUT THE MAGAZINES IN?

- SHE SAID YOU PUT THE MAGAZINES IN THE SUITCASE.

- SHE'S A [bleep] LIAR.

THIS IS BULL[bleep].

LISA IS THE BEST FRIEND ANY ONE OF THEM COULD HAVE.

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THEY DON'T LIKE.

SHE'S THE PERFECT WOMAN.

- NO, I'M NOT DOING THIS.

- SHE'S TOLD KYLE THIS WHOLE TIME

THAT THEY MAY NOT HAVE BEEN FRIENDS...

"BUT I'VE HAD YOUR BACK."

BULL[bleep].

- YOU KNOW WHAT? SOMEBODY'S STIRRING UP TROUBLE.

YEAH.

EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE TABLOIDS

AND HAVE SAID VOCIFEROUSLY,

"MAURICIO, WE DON'T BELIEVE IT."

WELL, I'VE SAID PUBLICLY I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S TRUE.

- OF COURSE IT'S NOT TRUE.

- NOBODY KNOWS DEFINITIVELY.

- I DON'T CARE.

- ARE YOU OKAY?

- NO, I'M PISSED. I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

I'M PISSED. I'M [bleep] PISSED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND I'M [bleep] PISSED.

I'M PISSED.

THIS WHOLE THING IS ABOUT THIS [bleep] MAGAZINE [bleep]

AND EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, I'M [bleep]-- THIS IS--

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- I'M [bleep] OUT OF HERE.

- HE OBVIOUSLY BELIEVES IT.

- WHAT UPSETS ME IS THAT "SUPPOSEDLY"

I HAVE THESE FRIENDS,

AND I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S NOT A FRIEND, OKAY,

AT ALL.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER? - NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING.

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- [crying] HE'S JUST PISSED THIS KEEPS COMING UP,

THE WHOLE THING AGAIN.

- EXACTLY. WELL, JUST IGNORE IT.

LET ME TALK TO HIM.

- I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

- I KNOW. I DON'T-- I CARE.

- EVERYBODY'S LYING.

- NOBODY'S LIED. I HAVEN'T LIED.

- EVERYBODY'S [bleep] LYING. - ABOUT WHAT?

- I DON'T KNOW WHO TO BELIEVE ANYMORE.

THIS ONE SAYS THIS, AND YOU SAY THAT.

- UGH.

- KIM'S TELLING ME ONE THING.

YOU GUYS ARE TELLING ME ANOTHER THING.

EVERYBODY'S TELLING ME SOMETHING ELSE.

I DON'T KNOW WHO TO BELIEVE.

- WELL, DO YOU BELIEVE THAT SHE WOULD PUT MAGAZINES--

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE.

I DON'T KNOW--THAT'S WHAT--

YOU GOT THREE PEOPLE SAYING THAT.

- I THINK WE SHOULD TALK TO BRANDI.

- I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BRING IT UP AT ALL.

I THINK YOU JUST SAY, "FORGET IT."

- I'LL SEE YOU AT THE HOTEL. - YEAH, LET IT GO.

- HONEY!

HONEY!

[boat horn blares] MO!

- COMING UP...

- GET OUT OF THE WAY. - OH, STOP!

I'M TIRED OF YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH.

YOU'RE A BIG, STUBBORN OLD MAN.

SHUT UP!

- HERE WE GO WITH THE STORY.

TWO-MINUTE STORY OR TWO-HOUR STORY?

- I'LL GET A WINE. [laughter]

I'LL GET A WINE IN THE MEANTIME.

- YOU KNOW THAT WHEN YOU'RE DATING

YOU TALK IN SPANISH LIKE...

[speaking Spanish]

FOR THREE MONTHS

AND THREE MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD,

I THINK HE'S NOT UNDERSTANDING.

AND SUDDENLY HE TELLS THE LADY THAT WAS WORKING AT HIS HOUSE,

HE'S...

[speaking Spanish]

AND I'M LIKE...

- WHAT?

- AND I LOOKED AT HIM, AND I SAID,

"UM, DID YOU LEARN THAT FROM ME?"

AND HE'S LIKE...

[speaking Spanish]

AND I'M LIKE...

I'M LIKE, "OH, MY GOD!"

- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

- MAURICIO'S CHANGING. HE'S COMING NOW.

- I THINK WE SHOULD JUST GO TO THE RESTAURANT.

- I JUST AM NOT IN THE MIND-SET TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED ON THE BEACH,

BUT IT WASN'T WHAT I WANTED TO HAPPEN.

IT WAS A GIANT CLUSTER[bleep].

I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SPEAK TO LISA

ABOUT THE ISSUES I HAVE WITH HER.

- BRANDI, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON.

- WELL, I DON'T EITHER. - LET THE BOYS SIT HERE.

- ASK SCHEANA. - HUH?

- ASK SCHEANA. - SCHEANA?

[overlapping chatter]

SCHEANA WHO WORKS FOR ME?

WHAT'S SHE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

- HOW CLOSE ARE YOU GUYS?

- SCHEANA AND I?

SHE'S VERY CLOSE TO PANDY FOR FIVE YEARS...

AND WORKED FOR ME FOR FOUR YEARS.

- I'M JUST REALLY DISAPPOINTED.

- WHAT--IN ME WITH SCHEANA?

- I'VE HAD MY SUSPICIONS OF LISA'S RELATIONSHIP

WITH SCHEANA IN THE PAST.

I DID A LITTLE DIGGING,

AND I FOUND OUT THAT LISA AND SCHEANA

ARE THICK AS THIEVES.

YOU GUYS, IT'S SO FUNNY.

THE WAITRESS IS THAT GIRL SCHEANA MARIE WHATEVER

THAT HAD AN AFFAIR WITH EDDIE WHILE I WAS PREGNANT.

I KNOW LISA VERY WELL AT THIS POINT,

AND I KNOW SHE PLANS OUT EVERYTHING.

LISA BROUGHT SCHEANA TO MY FACE TO HURT ME

AND TO GET PRESS FOR HERSELF.

CLEARLY HER BUSINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT

THAN HER RELATIONSHIP WITH ME,

BECAUSE SHE COMPLETELY USED ME.

- YOU THINK I'M A FRIEND OF HERS?

- SO HOW OFTEN DO YOU TALK TO SCHEANA?

HONESTLY? - SHE'S NOT MY FRIEND.

- REALLY?

- OF COURSE SHE'S NOT. SHE'S A KID THAT WORKS FOR US.

- THERE'S NOTHING TO IT. - THERE'S MORE TO IT.

- SHE'S WORKED FOR ME FOR FIVE YEARS,

AND SHE RAN INTO YOU AT THE BAR.

NO, WE DIDN'T KNOW--

AT THE OPENING, WE DIDN'T KNOW THEN.

OH, OKAY, BELIEVE SOME-- WHAT, ONE OF HER FRIENDS?

- YEAH. - OH, NO.

NO, YOU GOT IT WRONG.

- TAKE A LIE DETECTOR TEST.

- OKAY. - OKAY.

I'M IN IF YOU'RE IN.

LET'S DO IT.

- I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS IS COMING FROM.

I ALWAYS HAD THE BEST INTENTION FOR BRANDI,

AND IF SHE'S MISINTERPRETED IT, THEN I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

NO, BRANDI. - NO, IT'S FINE.

I MEAN, I'M GLAD THAT YOU'RE CAPITALIZING OFF MY HEARTBREAK.

IT'S AMAZING.

- SO YOU BELIEVE HER OVER ME, THEN?

- NO, I BELIEVE MY MUTUAL FRIEND.

- OH, WELL, SO SCHEANA TELLS THEM,

SO YOU BELIEVE SCHEANA OVER ME?

- NO, BUT I KNOW HOW YOU PLOT.

I KNOW HOW YOU STRATEGIZE. I KNOW HOW YOU PLAN THINGS.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.

THESE GIRLS ARE JUST--

IT FEELS VERY HEAVY HERE IN THIS BUS.

- THIS IS ALL BULL[bleep].

YOU'RE JUST BRINGING THIS UP.

- I'M NOT CLOSE TO PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR ME.

IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

- DANCING WITH THE STARS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

- NO, SHE WASN'T THERE.

- SHE WAS THERE A COUPLE TIMES.

- NOT THROUGH ME.

- YOU'RE LYING. - WHAT?

- NO, HANG ON.

- NO, THAT'S A LIE.

- I NEVER INVITED SCHEANA TO DANCING WITH THE STARS.

- SHE'S NEVER BEEN THERE, RIGHT?

- SHE HAS BEEN THERE. - OH, SHE HAS BEEN THERE.

SHE WENT IN CIRCLES AND CIRCLES AND CIRCLES.

YOU'RE CAUGHT. YOU'RE LYING. YOU'RE CAUGHT.

- THIS IS SUCH A [bleep] STUPID ROW.

IT REALLY IS. - KEN, DON'T GET--

- BUT, LISA, IT'S REALLY STUPID.

- NO, KEN, LET IT GO.

BUT IT'S UP TO YOU TO BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT,

IF THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

- SHE'S GOT THIS POWER ABOUT HER, LIKE THIS SPELL,

AND I'VE SEEN HER PUT IT ON PEOPLE,

AND I'VE BEEN UNDER IT.

I'M NOT UNDER IT ANYMORE.

- YOU DON'T BELIEVE?

THEN THAT'S FINE.

MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR.

- HOW MUCH LONGER?

- I THINK WE'RE HERE.

- GREAT.

- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD EVENING.

- HOLA. - HOW ARE YOU?

- THIS IS PRETTY. - VERY NICE.

- MICHAEL, I'M NEXT TO KYLE. I LIKE IT.

- VERY NICE. - WE ALL NEED A DRINK.

- I NEED A DRINK.

- YES, YES, YES, YES. WE ALL NEED A DRINK, THOUGH.

- THAT'S WHAT I THINK. - YOU WHAT?

- HI. - HOW YOU DOING?

- LISTEN, I LOVE YOU, AND I PROMISE YOU,

I NEVER KNEW IN THE BEGINNING. - I LOVE YOU, TOO.

- I'M ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE.

OKAY, WELL, IT'S UP TO YOU.

THIS LOOKS PRETTY. - YEAH.

all: CHEERS.

- YEAH, JUST A DROP.

- GO FOR IT. GO FOR IT. GO FOR IT.

IT'S VERY JUICY.

- [speaking Spanish]

- DOES EVERYBODY HAVE THEIR FOOD?

- YES. - WE JUST GOT IT.

- THIS LOOKS REALLY GOOD.

- WOULD ANYBODY LIKE TO TRY THE LOBSTER COCKTAIL?

- I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY.

- WHAT'S WRONG? YOU HAVE ANXIETY?

- I'M JUST FEELING, YOU KNOW...

- WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF POWER LISA HAS OVER KYLE,

BUT IT'S VERY OBVIOUS

THAT KYLE HAS ACCEPTED A LOT OF VERY DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR

WITHOUT HOLDING LISA ACCOUNTABLE FOR IT.

- I HAVE--I FEEL...

[sighs] I DON'T KNOW.

- WELL, BREATHE.

- I'M GOOD. I'M JUST...

AFTER SEEING HOW UPSET MY HUSBAND WAS,

I FELT LIKE I WANTED TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

AND THE ONLY WAY WAS TO ASK LISA AND BRANDI AT THE SAME TIME.

IT'S ONLY FAIR TO GIVE LISA ONE MORE CHANCE TO TELL THE TRUTH.

INSTEAD OF, LIKE, HEARING TWO THINGS

FROM TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE, I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT...

THE TRUTH ABOUT THE TABLOIDS AND THE SUITCASE.

I WANT TO KNOW. - OH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS COMING.

- YEAH. OF COURSE.

- YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

- WHAT I WAS TOLD IS THAT AT BRANDI'S HOUSE,

THE TABLOIDS WERE LAYING ON THE TABLE

AND THAT YOU SAID TO PUT THEM IN THE SUITCASE.

- I DIDN'T SEE THE TABLOIDS UNTIL I GOT BACK.

- NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- I DON'T READ THEM.

I DIDN'T SEE THEM UNTIL KEN SHOWED THEM TO ME.

- I HAD THEM... - I SAW THEM.

- WE ALL SAW THEM.

- I DIDN'T PUT THEM IN YOUR SUITCASE.

- OH, COME ON, THIS ISN'T A--

THIS IS A [bleep] SABOTAGE ATTACK.

- I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH. I WANT TO KNOW.

- YOU WENT OUT THERE AND PLANNED THIS...

- YEAH, I SAW IT WITH YOU. - ALL FOUR OF YOU.

YOU ARE SO STUPID! - I SAW IT WITH YOU.

- OH, COME ON.

- WOULD YOU ASK ME IF I WAS TOLD?

- YOU ASKED HER AT LUNCHTIME, AND SHE TOLD YOU.

- YEAH, BUT I'M HEARING SOMETHING ELSE FROM BRANDI.

- SHE TOLD YOU AT LUNCHTIME.

- I'M HEARING TWO DIFFERENT STORIES.

I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

- OKAY, WHO DO YOU BELIEVE, THEN?

- KEN, WHY ARE YOU GETTING INVOLVED?

YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY AM I GETTING INVOLVED?

DON'T BE SO STUPID. - YOU WEREN'T THERE.

DON'T CALL ME STUPID.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO CALL ME STUPID?

- OH, COME ON. - THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

WHAT, HE'S RAISING HIS VOICE AT ME?

FOR TALKING TO HIS WIFE?

- KEN, MY HUSBAND WAS UPSET, YOU KNOW.

- I WAS VERY PISSED. - HE WAS VERY UPSET.

I NEED TO KNOW FOR ME.

IF THE SHOE WAS ON THE OTHER FOOT,

YOU WOULD ASK ME STRAIGHT TO MY FACE,

"DID YOU, OR DID YOU NOT SEE--"

- DID YOU NOT WALK INTO MY HOUSE AND SEE IT?

- I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT--

- NO.

- OKAY, WELL, THEN IT'S YOUR WORD AGAINST MINE.

THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT, I THINK, WAS WITH KEN AT HOME.

- NO.

HONESTLY, YOU WANTED ME TO BRING IT, AND I DIDN'T BRING IT.

- YEAH, I DIDN'T EVEN BUY THE STUPID THING.

I DIDN'T LOOK AT IT.

- I'M NOT SAYING YOU BROUGHT IT! - SHE SAID IT WAS AT HER HOUSE.

AND THEN SHE SAID THAT YOU SAID TO HER...

- ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR. - "YOU NEED TO BRING THIS."

ANSWER THE QUESTION. ANSWER THE QUESTION.

- I'M ASKING A QUESTION.

- WELL, WHY DOESN'T KIM STAY OUT OF IT?

- BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME THE STORY, KEN!

- WELL, LET BRANDI TALK, THEN! - WELL, BRANDI DID TALK.

- KIM'S IN THE MIDDLE. LET BRANDI ANSWER.

- BRANDI'S ANSWERED CLEARLY.

- KIM'S IN THE MIDDLE. LET HER ANSWER.

- YOU JUST DON'T LIKE IT 'CAUSE SOMEBODY MAY BE ABLE

TO EXPLAIN THE GODDAMN STORY RIGHT, KEN!

- GET OUT OF THE WAY. - OH, STOP!

I'M TIRED OF YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH.

YOU'RE A BIG, STUBBORN OLD MAN. SHUT UP!

- STOP. PLEASE STOP. - HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.

- STOP, STOP.

- SOMETIMES WHEN SHE DOESN'T TELL THE TRUTH,

YOU HAVE TO SIT BACK AND LET PEOPLE APPROACH HER.

- WHAT DIDN'T I TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT?

- LIKE WHEN YOU WERE IN WISCONSIN

AND DIDN'T COME TO KIMBERLY'S GRADUATION.

- MISSOURI, ACTUALLY. - WHATEVER!

- WHY WEREN'T YOU AT MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING

WHEN YOU WERE INVITED? - I WAS MOVING!

- OH, YOU WERE MOVING? - I WAS MOVING.

[all shouting]

- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?

- IT DOESN'T MATTER. YOU DON'T CARE.

- SERIOUSLY, WITH WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH, I NEEDED TO KNOW.

I CAN'T HEAR TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.

- ALL RIGHT, WE'VE BEEN SET UP. WELL DONE.

- NOBODY'S BEEN SET UP, BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- WELL, THERE'S NOBODY THAT'S BEEN SET UP.

- YOU KNOW I WASN'T EVEN INTERESTED

IN THAT STUPID TABLOID.

YOU KNOW THAT. I WASN'T INTERESTED.

- YOU KNOW THE TRUTH. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.

- I ASKED BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW.

- YOU KNOW THE TRUTH, BUDDY. - I DON'T KNOW THE TRUTH.

- WELL, I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH.

- I DON'T KNOW THE TRUTH. - I'M DONE. I'M DONE.

I'M DONE WITH IT-- THIS CONSTANT ATTACK.

YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS. - WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

- YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS. - BUT DON'T GO. JUST DON'T--

- WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

- [sighs]

- COMING UP...

- [voice breaking] JESUS.

EVEN BRANDI?

- I'M NOT GONNA HAVE THEM TALKING ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT.

- JUST DON'T LOSE IT WITH THEM. WHY?

IT'S CONSTANT ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK.

- KIM IS LIKE A MANIAC. - BUT IT'S CONSTANT ATTACK.

- WHAT, HAS SHE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN?

- NO, SHE HASN'T. DON'T SAY THAT.

- I DON'T KNOW. - WELL, STOP IT. DON'T SAY THAT.

- WHAT'S SHE ON? - NO, DON'T SAY THAT.

- LISTEN, YOU HAVE A LEGITIMATE QUESTION,

BUT THEY FELT AMBUSHED RIGHT NOW

WITH TOO MANY PEOPLE, SEE? - YEAH.

- I THINK YOUR QUESTION IS RIGHT.

YOU WANT TO HAVE THE HONEST ANSWER.

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

- IT ALWAYS COMES AROUND, ALWAYS SHOWS UP.

IT MIGHT TAKE A WHILE.

- I'M NOT GONNA LET THEM TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT.

IT'S SILLY. - IT DOESN'T MATTER.

I'M USED TO IT. I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE.

ALL THE ACCUSATIONS THAT HAVE GONE ON BETWEEN THEM,

I'VE CERTAINLY NEVER CALLED ANYBODY, YOU KNOW,

A DRUG ADDICT OR A SLUT PIG OR A [bleep] LIAR

OR A [bleep] ALCOHOLIC,

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE SAID, "TAKE THE TABLOID WITH YOU."

OH, WHOOP-DE-DOO.

IS THAT MY BIGGEST CRIME, WHICH I DIDN'T DO ANYWAY?

- I WAS ASKING AN HONEST QUESTION FOR HER HUSBAND

TO CLEAR THINGS UP BETWEEN EACH OTHER.

- AND SHE SHOULD ASK THAT QUESTION.

- PERIOD!

- WELL, I WANT TO KNOW WHO MY FRIENDS ARE, FOR SURE.

- NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S YOUR RIGHT.

IF THAT'S THE TRUTH, IT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING YOU CAN DO,

BECAUSE YOU'RE PLAYING WITH SOMEBODY'S MARRIAGE...

- YES! YES. - AND SOMEBODY'S LIFE.

- DON'T DEFEND ANYBODY IN THE FUTURE,

ESPECIALLY NOT BRANDI, WHO'S CREATING THAT [bleep].

- I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A FRIEND

THAT'S TALKING [bleep] BEHIND MY BACK.

THAT'S NOT A FRIEND TO ME.

SO I WANT TO KNOW IF I HAVE A FRIEND OR NOT.

- HERE'S TO US.

WE'RE ALWAYS TOGETHER.

- [voice breaking] I JUST FEEL LIKE--JESUS.

EVEN BRANDI?

IT'S LIKE, I'VE GONE ABOVE AND BEYOND TO DEFEND HER,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO.

I'VE TRIED TO DEFEND HER BECAUSE SHE'S MY FRIEND...

YOU KNOW?

I HAVE DEFENDED BRANDI WHEN SOMETIMES HER ACTIONS

HAVE BEEN INDEFENSIBLE.

I JUST FELT, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO

WHEN YOU'VE REALLY GOT SOMEBODY'S BACK.

YOU SUPPORT THE UNDERDOG, AND THEN THE UNDERDOG BITES YOU.

- IT'S THE OTHER THREE.

THE FIRST MOVE, CHECKMATE,

FROM GUILE. - IT WON'T BE CHECKMATE.

- NO, OF COURSE IT WON'T BE CHECKMATE, EVER.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WINNER.

I MEAN, HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW

ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, THE ATTACK?

- I FEEL UPSET, BECAUSE...

- I'M NOT GONNA HAVE THEM TALKING ABOUT YOU LIKE THAT.

- HOW DO WE EVER MOVE FORWARD FROM THIS?

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PUERTO RICAN PRISON?

- POLICE! [gibberish]

OH, NO! WE GOT TO GET OUT!

GET OUT, GET OUT!

KIMBERLY IS PACKING FOR COLLEGE.

EVERY DAY SINCE YOU'VE BEEN IN MY LIFE HAS BEEN A JOY.

[crying]

- MINE IS GOING NEXT WEEK.

I HAVE, LIKE, A THOUSAND THINGS IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW

THAT--OF ALL THE THINGS I STILL WANT TO TELL YOU.

- HAS ANYBODY HEARD FROM LISA?

- UH...

- NO. - HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEBODY

THAT THROWS YOU UNDER THE BUS LIKE THAT,

THAT TALKS ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND THAT WAY?

- I NEED THERAPY.

- I FEEL THEY'RE JUST, LIKE, ALL GANGING UP.

- IT'S LIKE SHARKS THAT TASTE BLOOD.

- [crying] IT'S VERY HARD.