Original subtitles

Welcome to the final episode of Small Town Scandal. I'm Toby Buchanan.

I'm back at Torrejo Police Station, following a fresh lead.

As of last episode, I discovered that the automated lawnmowers buzzing around

Uncle Mitch's death scene have cameras.

Which means they may have filmed the killer.

Right now, all we've got is the McKee brothers swearing. It was a demon!

Which is not ideal.

My dad is still suspect number one and facing a life sentence.

And my old school buddy, local cop Matt McKenzie's ego, is out of control after

capturing serial killer Mrs Moss. And now he's gunning for a new trophy, my

Also, the town's annual filly festival and frocks in the field is about to kick

off, which means chaos and mum's dressed.

So there's murder, lawnmowers, small town egos and a potentially award

podcast all on the line.

Actually, scratch that.

Note to South, don't put that part in.

I had a plan which required me getting into the bowels of the Tohoiho Police

Station.

Unfortunately the place was crawling with cops, but fortunately I've

that this place isn't overly security conscious.

And I have a naturally gymnastic ability which will help me sneak past the blue

uniform brigade and infiltrate the heart of the beast.

Okay, so it turns out that automated mowers have an inbuilt camera in them. I

just need to find one.

So, I don't even know how to get to the camera, let alone see what's on it.

So, I'm going to...

Oh,

hello. Hey, I'm actually really glad to bump into you.

Oh, no, it's something that happened to Dad.

Oh, I don't know.

No, no, no, I just need your opinion on something to do with the trial.

These ones.

Um, I don't know.

Which one have you seen? Oh, I'm innocent more. These?

Or these ones?

Um, I guess the rainbow leaf.

Oh, really?

Yeah. I really thought you would have gone for the purple fern.

I'm not sure it matters too much, Misty.

I beg your pardon? Well, whatever earrings you wear won't make a

We all know where this case is headed.

Mind your business, Matt McKenzie.

Anyway, I'll see you guys. Sorry, McKenzie. See you.

See you.

What's up with your tub there, Tubbs? Ah, nothing. See ya. Bye.

Tub! Tub!

Tub!

Tub!

What are you... Tub!

Police!

All units, I'm in pursuit!

The footage on the screen, they should see it immediately.

What, there?

Yes.

Why didn't you tell me there ain't no cameras in there? I thought there was

obvious. The footage on that part is the last piece in this crazy puzzle.

There is no point.

Camera, send the footage to Black Box.

Black Box?

It's a home computer. It's not in there.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Okay, I'm back at the Hoffa Megastore.

And I'm following another crazy twist where it turns out that in order to see

the footage on the mowers, I need to go to Uncle Mitch's mansion and look on the

home computer.

Wait. Wait.

What?

Roger, don't.

You're under arrest for stealing police evidence.

Okay, let me explain. No, no, no. Thumbs!

Give up, mate.

It's already over.

Oh, shit!

You have the right to remain silent. Okay, just give me... Shush it! Tubbs,

not ruin this for me.

Okay, sorry.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Get on, man.

Once

a

criminal, always a criminal, eh, Toby?

What are you on about?

I bought this big jar of lollipops with my own money as rewards for my class.

And young Toby here decided to have them all for himself.

I was in your class 25 years ago. Can we let it go, please? I'm just pointing

out, once a criminal, always a criminal. I'm a petty criminal at best, and

you're the one that killed 39 people.

Fair call.

see you, Toby.

Would have been better under better circumstances.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's been nice seeing you, Dad.

I just wanted to apologise for getting off to a bad start.

What do you mean?

Well, it kind of helped that I was such a crappy parent.

I'm sorry, son.

Really, I am.

You tried.

I was at the pub most of the time.

You defend for yourself.

But you're a fighter.

You hang in there.

Not me. I just give up when the going gets rough.

You're a scrapper.

As if.

I am, son.

You're a real scrapper.

Thanks.

There's something else I've got to tell you.

What the hell?

You took your bloody time.

What

are

you doing?

You're gonna be in a terrible trouble.

Good luck.

You prick.

What the hell are they all doing here?

Sorry. Well?

Cheers,

Toad. We could have been killed out there.

Okay. We just need to get to Uncle Mitch's. If we can get a car, hopefully

can sneak out of town.

No way.

I'm totally outnumbered.

Are these your mum's frocks?

Yes, they're for frocks in the field. She's doing a fashion show.

She hasn't lost a touch, has she?

Oh, what a talent.

Look at all this.

Oh, she's an extraordinary woman.

We don't have time for this, Dad.

We've got to get you out of here.

There's no use, son.

You're as good as dog tagging. Could you be positive for one second, Dad? Could

you try that, please?

I'm trying to save you from a life sentence.

Sorry.

I know my head is... Shut up.

Fair enough.

No, I mean shut up.

I've got an idea.

And follow me.

Piss off.

Please. I said piss off, please.

This way, Dad.

This way, Dad.

This way, Dad.

Anna, yes.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is the fillies. The stallions are over

there, please. Over there. Over there.

Katie,

it's me.

Toby, what are you doing here? The police are looking for you everywhere.

in so much trouble.

Can I borrow your car, please?

Just give us your keys, Katie.

We need the keys.

If you don't give us your keys, I'm going to tell Matt that you touched my

in the car the other day.

Good. And a yes. And a go. And a dance.

And a dance. And he would never believe you anyway, so you shouldn't. Do you

want to try me?

Good. Good.

Smiling. Always smiling. Always going. And a going.

Okay?

Listen, it's got a bit of a sticky ignition, okay? So when you turn it on,

forward, right just before you feel kind of it, you have to hold it just... I'll

take you, okay?

I'll drive you to where you need to go.

My car's over there. All right? All right?

Good. Keep going. Keep going. Can you drill them? Keep going.

Smile! Smile!

Jesus.

Bloody hot being a horse's ass.

Don't tip it down. They'll see you.

Oh, my

God.

You're not going to go to prison. We could always tell them we kidnapped you,

but I force.

Oh, yes, Bruce. That's a really good idea. Thank you so much. It'll be great.

This didn't go any faster, Katie.

Actually, hold on. I think there is that button.

I have always wanted to press it. It's crazy because I feel like now it's kind

of... Is it faster?

No, I don't think it's going faster. Okay, this is it then.

Okay, what's the plan, boys? What's going on?

Okay, I'm hoping that the automated lawnmower that mowed up Uncle Mitch

whoever it was that killed him.

And that footage is on the home computer in the home office.

Oh, my God.

What? That is... So clever. That is... I never even thought of that, but it

makes perfect sense.

Oh, Toby!

You're actually so smart.

Oh, my God.

And you're really smart too, Katie.

Yeah.

I also find you're really beautiful.

Toby.

Honey.

Look, I, uh... You're a sweetheart, okay?

And I know how you've always laughed about me.

But you've got to get over this now, okay?

You've got work to do.

This is a big moment.

This is your time.

This is your time to shine.

Right now.

Isn't that the mansion there?

Oh!

Yeah!

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Hell yeah.

Okay,

I got it.

Stop! Whatever it is you're doing, get up! On your knees, immediately!

All of you, now!

Babe, babe, babe, we're just going to watch a video, okay? Of Mr. Death. Babe,

um, please.

Please, baby.

Baby, my love. My baby love. I am on the edge. It's important, okay?

You've got to see this.

Babe.

Everything hinged on this.

If my investigation was wrong, Dad got life and I might be joining him. Okay,

everyone's here? You comfy?

Yeah. Ready? Yeah.

It's the bloody McKee's brother. It was the McKee's brother.

Wait, she's going to be mad into bed.

Jesus. I didn't feel that in the morning.

Why isn't he moving?

His problem's done.

Oh.

What? Steve, pick up the camera.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. The horse is... Oh, my God.

A demon.

And the clowns just drive off.

Hang on, who's that?

This must be where I make an appearance.

Yeah, that's me.

Bruce.

And I just put it down, see?

I knew you were innocent, Dad.

I told you I didn't do it. And then... Wait, Katie.

I'll explain later, OK? Yeah, it'll all make sense, Maddie.

Hang on, you knew about that?

So there I am, and then I'm like, what?

And then I go, so then, if you can... Which is very clear that I just go

straight to the car.

Howie, would you look at that.

I'd done it.

I'd managed to prove Dad's innocence.

I'd finally succeeded and closed the case, but the feeling was bittersweet.

Petal, my childhood horse, the only real friend I'd ever known, was a killer.

What we uncovered here today is going to take our small town a long time to get

over, probably days.

But before that, I had some gloating to do.

Or maybe just some emotional management.

I guess no one would have suspected a horse, hey?

What?

Are you all right, mate?

Yes, I'm fine. I just couldn't hear you.

I was just saying, I guess no one would have suspected the horse.

But I guess now it proves that we were right about Dad being innocent, hey?

So...

So? So I told you so.

Not, you know, but you still managed to find out who Mrs Moss was and capture

her, which, you know, amazing, until she got away, but still.

Shut up, Tubbs.

Go home.

And so our small town scandal came to a close.

Although the dust had begun to settle on our wild scandal, I couldn't stop

worrying about Petal's future.

So I stole her away from Uncle Mitch's and anonymously released her on an

ethical farm for abused animals and didn't tell anyone about it.

And now she's pregnant to a hot stallion.

whose frock designs, a .k .a. Mum's dresses, were shown in the background of

news footage of Mrs Mock's escape, and her orders have gone up tenfold.

Mum says Cousin Carol will be taking my room permanently, so they can fulfil all

the orders.

Meanwhile, I'm proud to say I'm self -producing this podcast, and really want

do a shout -out to the nearly ten people who have already listened, liked and

subscribed.

Wow. That's all from me and our small town of Tohoiho.

Until next time, goodbye.

Goes on a bit, doesn't it?

But overall, not bad tobes.

And hopefully one of your listeners can offer you a proper job one day and then

you can finally move out.

But yes, I...

You've done well.

Anyway, I suppose I should try and get some sleep.

You should too. You look exhausted.

Stay away from that fridge.

Good night.

So with the podcast in the can, I was at a bit of a loss at what to do next.

Sure, I enjoyed the medium of podcastry, but you needed a good story to tell,

and I was clean out of those.

So I was just happy to lie back and relax.

Well, until tomorrow morning at least.

When I'd have to find some way of making cash so I could move out of home again.

Hello, Subra Kanania.

Who's been murdered?

And they've no idea who did it?

That sounds positively gruesome.

Oh, what a scandal.

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