Original subtitles

Fuck, Jimmy.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey.

Have you ever had a night like,

it was amazing, and you'd definitely do it again,

but you, like, totally regret it?

No, no, I haven't.

But that sounds crazy.

You should take a shower. You smell like tequila.

I didn't drink any. I just rolled around in it.

I'm not sure that that's better.

I don't know why I was so afraid of Snuffleupagus as a kid.

Oh, no, it makes sense.

- He's got that long trunk... - Yeah.

...and all that negative energy.

You know, adults couldn't see him until 1985.

Sesame Street AMA.

I hope that's a theme at the next bar trivia.

We're not gonna keep winning with just the two of us.

How's it going meeting people out in the wild?

I mean, it's just so hard to make friends as an adult.

Like what am I going to do? Join an improv group?

I get it though. I mean, my inner circle consists of

my dead best friend's neighbor,

my ex-husband's ex-girlfriend, and my mom.

But you got to keep putting yourself out there.

Maybe I just have to accept it's my fate to be alone.

Come on, Maya, that's not constructive.

You're going to find your people.

Remember, you're already not alone.

You have your trivia partner, me.

Do we know what the topic is next week yet?

National parks.

Hell, nah.

That team of crunchy man buns is going to whoop our asses.

Yeah. We're gonna have to recruit Smokey the Bear to win.

Really?

Good morning.

I come bearing beautiful homemade muffins.

Okay.

No, not for you.

You have an EKG today.

This is a straight-up bribe. We need help with Matthew.

What's up?

He's been lost for so long.

I tell him, "Look, we're surrounded by therapists, talk to one."

He agreed. He picked you.

Because he thinks you're very smart and kind and dope.

Matthew said that?

- He did not. - Damn it, babe.

I had him.

Listen, we don't have to convince him.

He owes us.

We raised your daughter for a year.

Liz, is your plan just to keep saying this forever

or only when you need something?

Undecided.

Alice, I need help guilting him.

Don't.

Liz didn't just feed me.

She drove me to school.

- She helped me with my SATs. - Yep.

Liz took her to the orthodontist. I took her to the gyno.

- Oh, my God. - Okay.

For that visit you did not have to come into the waiting room.

You could've stayed in the parking lot.

Okay. I have three sons. I had questions.

- Leaving. - Jimmy.

- Yes? - We need help.

He won't talk to me and I was just hoping that he would talk to you.

I miss my kid.

Of course. Yeah. Let me see what I can do.

Thank you. Thank you.

Cool thing I learned...

the vagina cleans itself.

It's like a Roomba.

I don't think that's true.

It's true.

Hey, Paul, I was wondering if we could...

There's Meg.

- There's Jimmy. - There's Paul.

What are you doing?

I never really know.

She dropped me off. She needed some coffee.

She was out jogging last night.

Didn't get in till 4:00 a.m.

- What? - Oh, I...

I just would never go running that late.

I'm afraid of being attacked.

Sexually.

I wouldn't worry about that, kid.

Bye, hon.

Bye.

Come on.

Act like you've had sex with the boss's daughter before.

You're married.

- Your dad is my friend. - Jimmy.

- I'm a bad friend. - You might be.

But not for this. Okay?

Dave and I, we've been separated for a few months.

We're dating other people. Well, he is dating... Whatever.

Look, I'm also... I'm a grown-up.

I'm not sweating what my dad thinks.

- Yeah, you are. - I am. A little bit.

But it's not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

Maybe we could just, like, pretend that I knew all this last night before we...

And also that it took a little bit of convincing to get me to...

I had to beg.

It's not believable, is it?

How are you doing with the Dave stuff? I know that that can be hard.

I went from knowing exactly what I would be doing for the rest of my life

to complete uncertainty.

It's...

Yeah, it's a real head trip.

Yeah, I get that.

Can you not mention the separation to my dad?

I haven't told him yet. I'm afraid he might hurt himself

jumping up and down for joy.

Yeah. Absolutely.

And maybe you could not mention that I slept with his baby girl.

That's gonna be tough.

I tell my dad about every guy that I sleep with.

This feels like it could be something real, doesn't it?

I'm fucking with you.

Jesus Christ.

You're meaner than your dad.

Sorry.

Hey.

I know it wasn't an uncomplicated kiss, but...

it did make me feel hopeful, so...

Me too actually.

You know, I didn't realize how freeing it would be

to have sex with someone who hasn't seen a person come out of you.

What?

Oh, a baby.

- Yeah. - Got it.

That's so much better than what I was picturing.

- Come on, sweetie. - Come on.

Give us a smile, just like you did this morning.

- That wasn't a smile. That was gas. - Hi.

Okay, well, how do we give her gas?

Is she too young to eat cabbage? Come on.

- We gotta go. Let's go. Let's go. - Yes.

I'm gonna get a great shot.

Why are you freaking out over this birth announcement?

Yeah, calm down.

It's more than just a birth announcement, Liz.

This is a really important milestone.

Plus this is how I'm gonna tell my dad that Charlie and I have a baby.

You haven't told him?

Was I not clear or is she a little slow?

What the fuck is wrong with you? That's insane.

Sutton came so early

and then everything just, like, snowballed on me.

My dad barely wrapped his head around me having a husband.

Two daddies raising a baby might make him hang himself

with his bolo tie, if that's even possible.

Every time I told my dad something big about my life,

you know, coming out, getting married,

that time in high school when I beat Andrew Kushner

for Seymour in Little Shop, which was huge,

my dad always blew it.

He'd say, "Okay,"

in this, like, completely disapproving way.

If he said anything not supportive about our beautiful baby,

it would wreck me.

Brian, my parents sleep under a painting of Jesus,

and I still told them I got preggers and gave it to a gay couple.

- Wow. - You see, Ava's brave enough

to tell the religious freaks who raised her.

Sorry, gals, I'm fine with Sutton meeting her grandfather

when she turns 18, if he's still alive.

Brian, you know the Derek special that makes you feel so good?

- Yeah, I love that. - Yeah.

He's got a reverse special.

It makes you feel the opposite.

- Babe? - Yeah?

Brian didn't tell his dad he had a baby yet.

Oh, Brian.

So disappointing.

I'm sorry, Dad.

- What? - Derek.

I'm sorry, Derek.

I see you, J.

I kind of got into watching MMA a few years ago with my friend Tia.

We actually used to crack up at the names of all the moves.

There's the Superman Punch, the Spinning Back Fist,

the Rear Naked Choke.

Actually, I did two of those with my boyfriend last night.

Jorge, you're looking good.

Yeah, we're almost even now.

No.

- What was that? - Nothing.

Hey, guys, this is Maya.

Maya, I want you to meet some of the freaks in my life.

- Hi. - Hi.

Alice. Freak?

- You fight these guys? - Yeah.

Sean's not allowed to hit back,

but I've beat the crap out of Jorge a couple of times.

Uncool.

Been doing this for a while now,

and it's helped me deal with some pretty dark stuff.

The three of us meet here twice a week, and Gaby thought you might wanna join.

Great. You told 'em about me.

Please, I would never.

Plus, these guys are way more fucked up than you.

Came out of the army with some pretty tasty PTSD.

Mom died.

I have no life other than working in the food truck.

I feel that, except the food truck part.

Hey, I have an extra set of gloves if you want to spar with Jorge a little.

Yeah, why not?

You know, I took six years of jiujitsu as a kid.

Oh, man.

Thank you.

I don't know. Sometimes I feel like there's this outside force

that's working against me.

So, Dan, this is a form of magical thinking.

So what I want you to do is close your eyes.

Good. Now see if you can describe what this outside force looks like.

Hey, Jimmy, drop everything.

I need you.

Kind of like that actually, but less theatrical.

- Homophobe. - That's fair.

You can't keep doing this, Brian.

Okay, I'm sorry for interrupting.

- I'm Brian. Hey. - I'm Dan.

We've met already in the ocean.

Don't be offended, Dan. He's a narcissist.

What? I only saw his head.

Hey, guess what, Dan? We ended up getting the baby.

She's really cute. You wanna see a pic?

- I'm good. - Hey.

We've been going over social niceties. Someone offers to show you a baby,

it sucks, but you have to look.

Okay. Just...

Oh, my God. She's really cute.

- Yeah. - How was that?

- Very believable. - Not great.

Goddamn it, Brian.

- That bloody lip is badass. - Yeah.

I had to let Jorge hit me at least once,

or else his spirit would have been broken.

Sorry about your mom. What happened?

Car accident.

Wow.

The guy went to jail for it.

Fuck that guy.

We're actually friends now.

You guys are freaks.

Hey, young brother, I gotta say, wow, this is the best sandwich I've ever had.

Thank you, man.

- You got a minute? - Yeah, sure.

It was Dre Thibodeaux.

The Dre Thibodeaux?

Do you know who that is?

Not a fucking clue.

Well, he owns a bunch of great restaurants,

and he said I could interview to be a sous chef.

It could be my chance to learn some legit techniques,

maybe even open up my own place someday.

You should.

But don't come to me for an investment.

Restaurants are for suckers.

Understood.

I never even went to culinary school,

so I'm kind of freaking out about this interview.

You got a tool for that?

Yeah,

it's called "grow a pair."

Of balls.

Yeah, I got it.

You know what's messed up?

I am so happy right now.

I got a great girl, killing it with the truck.

But the second something about the future pops up, I start spinning.

What's gonna happen to Jorge if I take this job?

Will I have enough time for Marisol?

- You get me? - I do.

You know, normally I wake up and my whole body hurts.

- Fuck Parkinson's. - Fuck Parkinson's.

But today I woke up

with hardly any pain at all.

You know what it is?

If it was sex with Julie, you don't have to tell me about it.

We did it in the shower.

My dog.

And then, afterwards, I put on some music and we danced in the bathroom.

The point is, you're doing great.

You live in that moment.

Use our tools to shut your brain down.

Drink that shit in.

I can do that.

Do that.

So, are you gonna close with one of your "move forward" speeches

about this interview?

No.

I don't think I need to do that anymore.

Not with you.

I'm not worried about you getting in your own way.

You've done amazing work.

I mean it.

Wow.

Go on.

Get out of here.

If I do decide to open up my own place, you're investing a lot.

I know.

Damn it.

Is it really that bad that I haven't told him?

This will go quicker if you just tell me what you want me to say.

Okay.

Hello.

Brian.

It's really hard.

Makes sense that you waited.

I'm surprised more people don't wait to tell their parents about their babies.

Maybe you and I could work together

to make it more of a cultural norm.

Also, by the way, my wife died.

- Love it. - Really?

No, I'm calling your dad.

Wait, what? When?

Right now. It's already happening.

- Hang up. No, no, no. - No. No.

- No. You have to hang up. - No!

How am I supposed to tell him that we've had the baby for months?

You don't, you lie.

- Okay. - Yeah.

All right, back in the game, let's do it.

Here we go.

- How you doing, Jimmy? - Here.

Hey, Kip, Brian has something to tell you.

Hi, Dad.

Happy Wednesday.

All right, what's going on? Everyone okay?

Charlie and I decided to adopt a baby, and we met a really nice pregnant lady,

and we signed all the paperwork to make it official.

Whoa.

When is this baby due?

Oh, you know,

they can never guess how many trimesters there'll be.

- So... - She's already here.

Her name is Sutton and she's beautiful. Brian was just scared to tell you.

Betrayal.

Are you there, Dad?

So...

I'm a grandpa?

Yeah, I mean, that's what happens when your kid has a kid.

Well, that is...

amazing!

Honey, Brian had a baby.

Okay, I'll text you both a pic.

Great, love it. Can't wait.

- Can you believe it? - Who did you name her after?

We named her after our favorite Broadway star, Sutton Foster.

Sutton Foster.

I thought he made pants.

- Hey, guys. - It's Meg.

- Hey, it's Meg again. - Hey.

It's me again.

It's like, does Meg work here now?

I know she doesn't,

but that's, like, a pretty fun joke to make because we're pals.

- Sick joke, Jimmy. - Are you ready to head home, Dad?

Yeah, let me just grab my jacket.

And, before I forget,

Julie wanted to know if you could have dinner before you go?

Are you free or are you the last person on earth rushing to get back to Dave?

Nope, no, I have time, so dinner sounds great.

Great. Hey.

Stop trying to make friends with my daughter.

She's too cool for you.

I wouldn't because I don't even know her.

Ultimately, the daughter of your friend is just an acquaintance.

- Right? - What?

Are you having a stroke?

'Cause if so, you can do it in your own office.

You got it, big P.

Oh, my gosh, wow, you are being so weird.

Jimmy knows that I'm...

I'm probably... I might be getting divorced, but my dad doesn't.

Wow, I'm sorry.

And/or congratulations.

Yeah. A little bit of both.

Welcome to the divorced ladies club.

It's sexy.

- It's not. - Yay!

You know, I think you should probably just tell your dad, right?

By the time he gets to Connecticut, he's gonna see that Dave's not there.

Well, you overestimate how much he notices Dave,

and he also hates Dave, and right now I hate Dave.

And if he does his usual thing and craps on my husband,

then I'll do my usual thing and get mad at him and then feel guilty

and then he'll feel guilty for making me feel guilty.

I don't know, you know, I was just in my office, and...

Sometimes parents surprise us.

Maybe give your dad a chance to surprise you.

Just throwing it out there. Okay, I got a patient. I gotta run.

- What do you think? - I don't know. I mean, I...

I'd never tell him, but Jimmy's been giving me some really good advice lately.

I waited right there in case that you were gonna say something like that,

and then you did.

So, in your face,

I got a patient, gotta run.

God, he's a lot.

I'm aware.

Nope. Whoopsie-daisy, sit up.

- We don't lay down in here, Matthew. - Why not?

- I thought that was a shrink thing. - That's mainly a Freud thing.

Maybe I should go see him.

Might be tough to get an appointment.

He's quite dead.

Besides, he'd probably just tell you that you want to kill your dad

and fuck your mom.

More like the other way around.

That's weird.

So, your mom is...

She's pretty crushed that you froze her out.

You must still be pretty upset with her, huh?

I don't wanna talk about it.

That's sort of what we do in here, you know, we talk about feelings.

- Pass. - Pass? Pass.

Okay. I understand you lost a few jobs recently.

Any chance you want to get into that?

You know what, I don't have to be the one who drives this.

We can really talk about anything that's on your mind, so...

- What's going on, man? - Nothing.

I really don't know why everybody's on my case.

I mean, what do they want from me? I'm 24.

- Twenty-five. - Twenty-five.

Okay, I gotta ask.

If everything is going so "okay" with you,

why did you agree to meet with me?

You paid Matthew to do therapy.

Do you have any idea how inappropriate that is?

Come on, it's only 20 bucks.

He wanted a pizza.

What's going on here?

I'm getting my EKG. You want to get a two for one?

- No, I'm good, Derek. - Okay, live on the edge.

Starting the test.

No talking, please.

Who cares if Derek paid him?

I thought inappropriate was your brand.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

I will figure out another way to repay you for Alice.

You know what? I found some old woodworking goggles in my garage.

- Maybe Derek wants them. - Derek doesn't want woodworking goggles.

You don't even woodwork.

All done.

You may respond.

I might want to woodwork one day.

I will send this to your cardiologist, he'll get back to you when he reads it.

You know what? Another thing, Liz,

I think it's time to be done with you constantly reminding me

that you raised my daughter for a year.

First of all, it was only 11 and a half months.

- So a year. - Second of all,

it's not cool to keep holding that over my head.

I've tried to make good. I really have.

But the way you're acting, it's kind of shitty.

Are you calling me shitty?

No, I said you're kinda shitty, but what the fuck? I'll round up.

- You're being shitty. - Excuse me?

Your cardiologist wants you to go to the hospital right away.

That was fast.

So, his cath test showed blockage in his left descending something artery,

which can lead to a heart attack.

Okay, she's underselling.

The guy said it's the kind that they call the widow-maker.

Oh, yeah, I don't like that name.

- Not of a fan. - Doctors are dramatic.

Anyway, Derek's getting bypass surgery in an hour.

Okay. Emergency bypass surgery.

That's also dramatic.

- Jimmy. - Yeah.

In case something happens,

will you make sure to pee off my balcony for me.

My flowers have gotten used to it.

You know what?

Won't need to, pal.

You're going to be up and flashing me your dick in no time.

Yes, he will.

This is serious, but routine,

but from now on, we're only accepting positive vibes from everyone.

Are we clear?

- Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's take a shot.

Should we make some post-surgery plans for tomorrow?

Maybe brunch and mimosies?

Too positive, Brian, but thank you.

I can still do it.

- Yeah. No, Brian. - Hey, D,

no matter what happens to me,

you hang on to Gaby.

Life is short.

Difficult women make it better.

Okay, that's gonna be one of the only times you call me difficult.

You're gonna be all right. Dereks don't die.

What about your dad?

- Derrick Senior? - Yeah.

He is... He's on a farm.

You're done.

Actually, thank you so much for coming,

but there's really nothing to do here,

so go home, and I promise I'll...

- I'll fill you in later with everything. - Okay. I'm gonna see you

- on the other side, D-train. - Love you guys.

- Of the procedure. - Yeah. I know what you meant.

We'll see everyone soon.

- I wanna stay with you. - And we're going.

- You're gonna go. Bye now. - Love you.

Liz,

the boys, you...

You're everything.

I can't even think about what could happen if I--

Then don't.

Can I just say it?

- I need to. - Yes.

The gardeners come every two weeks.

All of my passwords are in the top drawer of the desk,

and they're all different names I've given your boobs.

- Really? - Yeah, my favorite: sweet tarts.

Also, you're gonna be finding snacks hidden...

everywhere.

Don't think less of me.

And I love you.

I know you know that.

But if this is the last time I get to say it...

I really want to know that you heard it.

I really heard it.

And I love you.

But you're going to be okay.

Yeah.

- And I'm fine. - Yep.

And we're all going to be fine.

Okay, they're ready for him.

Kiss.

I love you.

- I love you. - I love you.

I'm gonna be the first face you see when you wake up.

I'm gonna be there. I love you.

I can't wait.

You're the apple of my eye

Girl, I've never loved one like you

I'll see you so soon.

I love you.

Let me come home

Home is wherever I'm with you

Oh, home

You doing okay?

I think I'm just a little shook about Derek. We all are.

If it's okay, I might like to just sit on your bed or...

I give you a hug or touch your head or something.

Yeah.

I'll follow you into the park

Through the jungle

You picked the only one I hate.

Yeah.

I love you.

Moats and boats and waterfalls Alleyways...

This one?

Yes, please.

We laugh until we'll think we'll die

Barefoot on a summer night

Hello, Sutton, it's Grandpa.

It's Grandpa. I'm Grandpa.

Hello. Who's that pretty girl?

I love you.

Baby, you know I love you too.

What's going on? Why you drive all the way down here?

Either she needs to borrow money or somebody's dying.

Nikki, if somebody does die,

I'm gonna come back here and Rear Naked Choke you, okay?

Home is wherever I'm with you

- Thanks, Pop. - Hey, I'm proud of you.

Home is whenever I'm with you

Hey.

I saw you pull in.

I found the woodworking goggles for Derek once he wakes up.

You're insane.

He'll love these.

Anything else you need?

No, I got his silk pillowcase for his hair

because he doesn't sleep on anything else,

and I talked to the boys

and I told them to stay put because there's nothing to do here except wait.

I called Derek's mom, and assuming surgery goes well,

she's gonna stay with us.

It's the first time I've ever wanted her to be in this house.

So, everything seems to be pretty much taken care of.

What about you?

I'm fine, Jimmy.

Okay.

I don't know what I would do if I lost him.

You're not gonna lose him.

You know, he brings the joy.

And I'm not as strong as you.

And I don't think I would survive.

Come here.

It's gonna be okay.

Thanks.

You never called me strong before.

I didn't mean it.

Hey. I'm gonna ask you a question that your mom asked me once.

Are you gonna be like this forever?

Be like what forever?

Fucking oblivious, man.

Who cares what your mom said about you right now?

She needs you.

So stop watching...

two very attractive women have a slap fight.

Get off your ass and show up for her.

Take it from someone who's been there.

If you do not,

you are gonna regret it for the rest of your life.

I'm not even sure how it happened.

One day we were planning a trip to Portugal,

and the next thing I know, he's living in his friend's podcast studio.

It's been a few months.

He's even gone on a few dates with our pharmacist.

I've only had one encounter and it felt...

- weird. - I know that feeling.

I feel like I'm supposed to just let go of him in my heart,

but I can't yet or...

maybe I'm just scared. I don't know.

Your turn. Tell me you saw it coming. Go ahead and pile on Dave.

Honey.

Meg, I'm so, so sorry.

I only joke about Dave because it's so easy to.

But I don't want either of you to be unhappy.

Christ, marriage is tough.

Divorce is tough.

Whatever you decide,

I'll be here for you.

Thank you.

It's so messed up.

I have no idea how we would even...

tell Mason if it comes to it.

Well, you could do what I did when you were a kid.

Disappear for 6 months,

then take him to some random hotel

and introduce him to a stranger in a bathrobe.

She wasn't in her bathrobe, Dad.

She put it on when she realized that I was in the room.

That's how I learned that nipples could be pierced.

So it wasn't all bad.

Fuck. I wish I could drink.

Yeah, tough shit. It's really good too.

Hey, Mom.

Matthew, I said I would call you when--

Forget that. I called Will and told him to get his ass down here.

We should have news soon.

How do you know? They won't tell me anything.

I cornered a nurse who said Dad would be out in a half hour or so.

You cornered a nurse?

But not in a creepy way.

Not in a creepy way?

Can I get you a sandwich? You need to eat something.

I love you.

You still don't love hugs, do you?

I don't.

But I'm good for a few more seconds.

Hands back up.

I can't wait to see you.

Oh, yeah, cash is fine. What girl doesn't want cash?

Bye.

- Didn't like that. - Calm down. It was Grandpa.

I invited him to graduation.

Sorry, I know you guys don't get along.

What? No, stop that.

He... He loves you,

and I think that's awesome and you know what I say?

The more the merrier.

Wow, you almost sold that.

I thought I kind of nailed it, but...

You know, I don't want to look back and wish I'd seen him more.

Yeah.

You know, I think that sometimes

a little reminder that life is short can be a gift.

Can give us that little extra push that we need.

Hey, Mr. Thibodeaux.

Yeah, this is Sean Mitchell.

I'd love to come in and do that interview whenever's a good time.

Yes, sir.

Hey.

Baby, fuck Liz's rules.

I'm dying. I say we drive to the hospital and see our dude.

- Great, we'll take my car. - Okay, fine,

but I'm anxious, so I'm gonna back seat drive from the side seat.

I'd like us to at least try some counseling.

No, not just for Mason's sake.

For me too.

If he says no, find out where he is so I can go murder him.

That's pretty stupid though, isn't it?

What?

Needing something bad to happen

to make you do the thing you should have done all along?

I'm not so sure it matters how you get there.

You just gotta hope that when you do, it's not too late.

Mrs. Bishop?

Yeah.

- I made it. - Well, obviously.

Dereks don't die.

Dad, do you want a sandwich?

Dude, he just had surgery. He can't eat.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. I think I'm peeing right now.

You're okay.

It's Maya. I'm gonna take this real quick.

All right.

Hey, Maya, is everything all right?

Yeah, yeah, all good.

I was just calling to see what you were up to.

I could use some Froyo, maybe shoot the shit.

Yeah, I'm just visiting some friends in the hospital.

Oh, my God. Sorry.

Oh, no, it's okay. Everyone's all right.

But, Maya, do you need to talk now or can you wait till our next session?

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah, okay. See you soon.

All right. Bye. Thanks.

Night.