Original subtitles

Yeah.

Can't we just do this later? I mean, you know how he gets in the morning.

Ned, aren't you tired of letting people push you around?

Yes.

Then get in there and do it.

Oh, what?

What is it?

Dewey, hey, it's the first of the month, and I would like your share of the rent

now, please.

Oh, man, you know I don't have...

Sorry.

Dewey, I mean, you owe me a lot of money as it is. Yeah, try $2 ,200.

Okay.

You guys, the band is about to hit it big time.

We're going to win Battle of the Bands, and when I'm rolling in the Benjamins, I

will throw you and your dog a bone. Good night.

Oh, give it up. Your band has never made two cents. Maddie, come on. I'm on

this. Oh, you're on this?

You're on this? He's walking all over you.

Mommy, could we please talk about this later?

Uh, no, we can't talk about it later because Ned and I have to go to work. We

have jobs. We contribute to society, all right? I am an assistant to the mayor

of the city. Hello?

What? Can you get her out of here, please? Why? Why her?

And Ned has the most important job there is.

Temping?

Dewey, a substitute teacher is not a temp.

He's a babysitter. Oh, yeah, you think it's so easy? Well, I'd like to see you

try. You wouldn't last one day. Dude, I serve a society by rocking, okay?

I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music. Rocking

no walk in the park, lady.

All right, this is useless, all right?

You tell him that if he doesn't come up with the rent by the end of the week,

he's out of here.

Dewey, I'm not paying your share of the rent, so I don't know. I mean, maybe you

should sell one of your guitars or something.

What?

Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?

Oh, my God. He's an idiot.

Dude, I've been mooching off you for years, and it's never been a problem

she showed up. Just dump her, man. Yeah, well, if you don't come up with some

money, she's going to dump me. She's fed up.

Really? Because that would be a good thing. She's a nightmare.

Come on.

I may never have another girlfriend.

I mean, just come on.

Come up with some money, please.

Please.

Okay. For you, not for her, man. For you.

Thank you.

Feel me.

I'm hot sick.

I'm hungry and a minor G on you.

Hey,

what's up?

Is that a new song?

Who's this guy?

Dewey. We're taking the battle of the bands seriously this year.

Good, because I need the money. Now listen.

My feeling is, if we're gonna win this thing, we gotta actually start playing

some music.

I agree.

You're fired. And your lyrics, now don't take this the wrong way, Theo, are

lame.

But I've been sitting on some awesome material, so... Dewey!

Did you hear what I said?

We voted.

You're out.

This is Spider. He's replacing you.

What's up, dog?

I was gonna tell you last night, Dewey, but you passed out, man.

Okay, you're gonna kick me out of the band, huh? You're gonna fire me? Well,

this is my band. I brought it together.

Theo wanted you out, man. There's nothing I could do. Oh, shut up, man.

voted him out, too. I didn't tell you what to do.

Dewey, listen to me.

You're a good guitar player, but it's the 20 -minute solos, the stage dives.

We're trying to land a record deal here, man, and you're an embarrassment.

Read between the lines, Theo.

Read between the lines!

Dewey, man, I hope this doesn't come between us. Like, I care about you, man.

You guys, you know what? You're nuts.

You're all nuts.

You've been focused so hard on making it, you forgot about one little thing.

It's called the music.

And I don't even care. You know what? So what?

I don't want to hang out with a bunch of wannabe corporate sellouts. I'm going

to form my own band, and we are going to start a revolution, okay? And you're

going to be a funny little footnote on my epic ad.

I feel sorry for you guys.

Ah. Yes.

Yeah, it's a 1968 Gibson SG.

Mint can dish.

No.

That's all.

Well, that's a mistake.

No, Hendrix played this guitar.

Hello?

Yeah. Is this Mr. Schneebly? No, he's not here.

Oh, could you take a message for me?

Um, yeah.

Hi, my name's Rosalie Mullins.

I'm the principal here at Horace Green Prep, and we're having a little

here. One of our teachers broke her leg on the way to school this morning, and

all of our subs are already working.

Pat Wickham at Milton Prep recommended I give Mr. Schneebly a call. Do you know

if he's available?

Um, how long does it get?

How long is the job?

My guess is as much as a few weeks, but we do need somebody to start

immediately. Mm -hmm. So how much are we talking here?

We pay our substitutes $6 .50 a week. Now, do you know when Mr. Schneebly will

be back?

Hold on a sec.

Oh, you know what? I think he's just coming in right now.

Ned, phone!

Hello, this is Matt Schneebly.

Pat faxed me your resume.

It's very impressive.

We've never been in a bind like this before, so thank you so much. So how's

going to work? Are you going to pay me up front?

I don't understand. It'd be really great if I could get paid now in cash.

Oh, well, we don't do that.

Okay, well, when you cut my check, just make it payable to Dewey Finn for tax

reasons. You can discuss all of that with Candace and administration at the

of the day. Okay, when's the end of the day? We commence at 8 .15. School lets

out at 3.

Oh, uh -oh, you know what?

You think I could cut out a little early today? I got some stuff I gotta do.

It's cool. I can stay.

Mr. Schneebly.

This is considered the best elementary school in the state, and we maintain

reputation by adhering to a strict code of conduct, faculty included.

You know what? You don't have to worry about me because I'm a hard ass, and if

kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking him in the head.

No, no, no. We don't use corporal punishment here.

Okay, so just verbal abuse?

Mr. Schneebly, if you have any problems with any of your students, you just send

them to me. I will do the disciplining.

Check.

Children, please take your seats.

Everyone, I'd like to introduce Miss Dunham's substitute.

This is Mr. Schneebly.

Why don't you write your name on the board? Yes.

Yes, I will.

You know what? Why don't you all just call me Mr. S?

Mr. S has never taught here at Horace Green, so I want you all to be on your

best behavior.

So, the curriculum's on the desk, and do you have any questions?

Yeah, when's lunch?

The children just had their lunch.

Is there anything else you need?

Um, I'm a teacher.

All I need are mines for molding.

All right, then. Well, thanks again. You saved the day.

Okay, who's got food in here?

You're not going to get in, Trevor.

I'm hungry.

You. What do you got?

Mm -hmm.

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Okay.

Teach.

Teach. Teach.

All right, look.

Here's the deal.

I've got a hangover.

Who knows what that means?

Doesn't that mean you're drunk?

No. It means I was drunk yesterday.

It means you're an alcoholic.

Wrong. You wouldn't come to work hungover unless you're an alcoholic.

Dude, you got a disease.

Hmm. Hmm.

What's your name?

Freddie Jones.

Hmm, Freddie Jones. Shut up!

Shut up.

The point is, y 'all can just chill today.

We'll start on this crapola tomorrow.

Yes, Tinkerbell.

Summer, as class factotum, first I'd like to just say, welcome to Horse

Thank you.

Do you have any questions about our schedule?

Because... Usually now Ms. Stenum teaches vocabulary.

Then gives us a pop quiz.

Then she'll split us up into our reading group.

Track B is reading... Okay, hey, hey, hey.

Ms. Dumbum ain't your teacher today? I am.

And I got a headache and the runs. So I say, time for recess.

But Mr. S, that poster charts everyone's performance.

We get gold stars when we master the material covered in glass.

How do we get gold stars if we just have recess?

One of these black dots here.

Demerits. What kind of a sick school is this?

Hmm?

As long as I'm here, there will be no grades or gold stars or demerits.

We're going to have recess all the time. Woo!

But Miss Denham only gives us recess for 15 minutes. Hey, you're not hearing me,

girl. I'm in charge now, okay?

And I say recess.

Go, play, and have fun now.

Now, you don't want me to have to call your parents, do you?

It's all right, Emily. Don't cry. Just try to be a bit more conscientious.

Would you like a hug?

Fine, Emily, you're excused.

Yeah, we did it. We did it. Come on. Give me some.

Give me some. Give me some. Give me some of that. Yeah.

Woo -hoo. I will see you cats on the flip -flop later.

I heard she slipped in the bathroom. Yes, yes. But we've got, of course, a

wonderful new substitute who comes very highly recommended.

Mr. Schneebly!

Yeah! Mr. Schneebly!

Woo!

Hold up, buddy.

Oh, my God.

Dude, get in there. Aw, man, this guy sucks, man.

Let's call him. Let's call him.

Okay, yes, you can be in my band, but Ned, no power plays, man.

I've got vision up the butt, so just go with it.

No, thanks.

You're not a teacher, Ned.

You're the cross -dressing, blood -sucking incubus from Magadeth. That's

real you!

Dewey, I'm not a satanic sex god anymore.

I'm a working stiff.

And that's cool.

She's got you brainwashed, man. Can you see that I'm working?

That's terrific.

But who are you, babe?

This is my apartment, babe.

Matt, if you don't pay your rent, it's not.

Get a job.

I got a job, okay?

I'm going to have your rent by the end of the week. Go tell the mayor.

You got a job doing what? I do what Ned does. I'm temping.

I'm not a temp. I'm a sub.

And soon I'll be a certified teacher.

Come on, man.

One show, $20 ,000 prize.

We split it 60 -40, grab your bass, and come back to the garage, brother.

I mean, don't you miss rocking out?

Dewey, if you think anyone in their right mind is going to want to be in a

with you, you're more delusional than I thought.

Dewey, you know, maybe it's time to give up those dreams.

I did, and things are going really great for me.

Are you going to teach us anything, or are we just going to sit here?

Just do whatever you want.

I want to learn from my teacher.

Besides that.

Freddy, what do you like to do?

I don't know.

Burn stuff.

Just go out and have recess.

My parents don't spend $15 ,000 a year for recess.

What, you want to learn something?

Yes, I do.

What, you want me to teach you something? You want to learn something?

All right. Here's a useful lesson for you.

Give up.

Just quit.

Because in this life, you can't win.

Yeah, you can try.

But in the end, you're just going to lose big time because the world is run

the man.

Who? The man. Oh, you don't know the man?

Oh, well, he's everywhere.

In the White House, down the hall, Miss Mullins.

She's the man.

And the man ruined the ozone, and he's burning down the Amazon, and he

Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank, okay? And there used to be a way to

it to the man. It was called rock and roll.

But guess what?

Oh, no.

The man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV!

So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome,

because the man's just going to call you a fat, washed -up loser and crush your

soul. So do yourselves a favor and just give up!

Mr. Schnabley, it's after 10.

On Tuesdays, the children have music class now.

Right, okay.

Ah, good work, people. We will continue with our lecture on the man when we

return. Have a good music class.

Mr. S, what's going on?

I heard you in music class.

You guys can really play.

Why didn't anyone tell me? You.

What's your name?

Zach. You play the guitar?

Yeah. Okay, come here.

You ever play the electric guitar?

My dad won't let me. He thinks it's a waste of time.

A waste of... Try this one.

Okay. Here's a guitar pick, and you pluck along with me, okay? If you can.

Okay, you stay right there. Don't move.

Piano man, front and center.

What's your name?

Lauren. Lauren, you ever played keyboards?

Any techno?

No, I only play piano.

Okay, all right, fair enough.

Try this out for me, okay?

Just give this a try on my count, all right? One, two, three, four.

Yeah.

Yes.

Touch me, babe.

Can't you see that I am not afraid?

Lawrence is good at piano.

He shall be rocking in my crew.

Stop. That's perfect.

You're perfect. Stay right there, okay?

You, could you come up here, please?

What was your name?

Katie. Katie, what was that thing you were playing today, the big thing?

Cello. Okay, this is a bass guitar, and it's the exact same thing, but instead

of playing like this, you tip it on the side. Hello, you've got a bass.

Try it on.

Okay, now play this note right here. That's a G.

Okay, but let your fingers do the rock and keep that G coming all day long.

G, G, G, G, G, G, G. Good, stop.

Are there any drummers in the house?

I play percussion.

That's because you couldn't play anything else. Shut up.

Come here, dude.

Just see if you can do what I do, okay?

Just give it a try.

Okay? Give that a try.

Okay!

That's really good. Just stay right here.

All right.

Okay.

Lawrence, give me a G -note.

With a fifth above it.

And the middle one.

No middle one. I changed my mind. Now go an octave below.

Now give me some rhythm.

And keep that same rhythm. Go. Okay.

Katie, remember that note I taught you, the G?

But also keep it rockin' good.

Okay, give me like a... Good.

Okay, no. That's bad. That's like George of the Jungle. Play it up here on the

cymbal. Really light!

Okay, keep going with that back.

Do you remember this thing I taught you a minute ago? It goes like... Yes!

Yes! Whoa!

All right, let's go!

Oh!

All right, stop, stop.

You guys, you guys, stop messing around. We got a lot of work to do. Okay,

people... Pay attention, because I do not want to have to fail you.

I thought you didn't believe in grades.

Of course I believe in grades. I was testing you, and you passed. Good work,

Summer. Four and a half gold stars for you.

Now listen, you guys, you know what? Normal kids would have been stoked to

off, but not you guys, because you're not normal.

You're special.

And because I think you guys have the right attitude, I think it's time we

started our new class project.

A class project?

No, it's... called Rock Band.

Is this a school project?

Yes, and it's a requirement. And it may sound easy, but nothing could be harder.

It will test your head and your mind and your brain, too.

Will other schools be competing?

You could say that.

You could say that every school in the state will be competing for the top

prize.

What's the prize?

A win will go on your permanent record.

Hello, Harvard, yo.

The thing is, we're not supposed to get started until next quarter, but I think

we should get a leg up on the competition, don't you?

I do.

Who else wants to go for the gold?

I do.

All right, but if anyone finds out what we're doing in here, we'll be

disqualified, so let's just keep it on the down low, shall we? Can we tell our

parents? No!

Just trust me, they don't want to know anything about this. Keep it zipped. All

right, you guys, let's kick it into overdrive.

What are the rest of us supposed to do?

You just sit back and enjoy the magic of rock.

You mean we're not in a band?

Now hold up now.

Just because you're not in the band doesn't mean you're not in the band.

We need backup singers who can sing.

You, sing.

The sun will come out tomorrow.

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow.

Stop.

You've got it. And I don't even know what it is, but you've got it. And

why you're in the band. You sing.

Amazing grace, how sweet

the sound.

Stop before I start crying because I've found the missing ingredient.

You're in the band.

I can sing.

You can?

Mm -hmm. All right, Summer, belt it.

Memory all alone in the moonlight.

Stop, stop.

Okay, good. That's pretty good. All right.

I can also play clarinet, you know. I'll find something for you. When we get

back from lunch, I'll assign the rest of you killer positions.

Mr. Snoopy? Yeah?

Hey, what's up?

I don't think I should be in the band.

Why not?

I'm not cool enough.

People in bands are cool.

I'm not cool.

Dude, you are cool. The way you play.

Why do you say you're not cool?

Nobody ever talks to me.

Well, those days are over, buddy.

Because you could be the ugliest sad sack on the planet, but if you're in a

rocking band, you're the cat's pajamas, man. You're the bee's knees.

Bee's knees?

Yeah, the bee's knees. You're going to be the most popular guy in school. Trust

me.

Okay. I'll do it.

Now, listen.

This is a big commitment now. Don't just say yes if you're going to flake out

later. I won't. Larry.

Welcome to my world.

Boom.

Okay. Boom. A couple of these.

Now here.

Okay. Now give me a platform.

Let's rock.

Let's rock today.

Now do it to me.

Let's rock. Let's rock today. That's good.

Slap it.

Shoot it.

Kaboot it.

We're going to work on that some more later. It's a very long shake. Get

Good knuckle crack.

Lead guitar, Zack Attack. Take a seat.

On bass, Posh Spice.

On keyboards, Mr. Cool.

And on drums, Spazzy McGee.

Okay. Blondie, Braceface, you're singing back.

All right.

Tough guy, short stop.

Fancy pants, get over here.

You guys are on security detail. Your job is to make sure no one outside this

room knows what we're doing in here. The future of the band depends on you.

Okay, your first mission?

Soundproofing this room.

Get on it.

Can I be the band's stylist instead?

Of course you can, fancy pants.

Okay. Carrot Top, Road Runner, Turkey Sub. We are going to have a lot of

equipment. We're talking amps, electric guitars, maybe even lasers, and smoke

machines.

Now, your job is to master the transportation and operation of this

Seriously, without a first -rate roadie crew, we'll never have a psychedelic

show. And I can't live with that, okay?

I'm counting on you. Get going.

Go. All right.

You three.

Groupies. And your job is simple.

Just worship the band.

And you're going to be making hats. You're going to be making T -shirts.

All kinds of merchandise, which leads me to your first assignment, naming the

band.

All right, sit down.

As for me, I will be singing lead vocal and shredding guitar.

Wait, isn't this a student project?

What's your point? Are you supposed to be in the band?

What, you want to get rid of me?

Why, because I'm old?

You hate teachers? Is that what you're about?

No. Okay, well, teachers like to play, too. And not only am I going to play,

El Capitano.

And what I say goes, so put your hands over your hearts.

I pledge allegiance... I pledge allegiance... To the band... To the

Mr. Schneebly.

Of Mr.

Schneebly. And will not fight him... And will not fight him... For creative

control. For creative control.

And we'll defer to him on all issues related to the musical direction of the

band.

Let's get rockin'!

What's the matter?

You want me to be a groupie? Well, groupie's an important job.

I research groupies on the Internet.

They're sluts. They sleep with a band.

No, that's not true. They're like cheerleaders.

I don't want to be a cheerleader.

Look, my mother's a room parent, and she's not going to be happy when she

about this.

Okay, listen, I didn't want to say this in front of the other kids because I

didn't want to make them jealous, but I made a special position just for you,

and it's the most important job of all.

Band manager.

Band manager?

Oh, yeah.

What's that?

Well, I'm going to be busy rocking out, so it's up to you to make sure everyone

is doing their job.

Summer, you're in charge of everything.

Okay. Okay.

All right, look alive.

Listen up.

First thing you do when you start a band... Mr.

Schneebly, before we start, shouldn't I first take attendance?

Okay, fine.

Okay.

Now, Michelle?

Here. Okay.

And Marco?

Here. Okay.

Summer? Here.

Let's see, Tamika? Okay, we're all here. Look, the first thing you do when you

start a band is talk about your influences.

That's how you figure out what kind of band you want to be. So, who do you

Blondie. Christina Aguilera.

Who? No. Come on. What?

You. Shortstop.

Puff Daddy.

Wrong. Billy.

Liza Minnelli?

What are you... You guys!

This project is called Rock Band.

I'm talking about bands that rock!

Led Zeppelin!

Don't tell me you guys have never gotten the lead out.

Jimmy Page, Robert Plant.

Ring any bells?

What about Sabbath?

ACDC.

Motorhead. Oh, what do they teach in this place?

Summer, you're the class whatever. Go to the board.

Factotum.

Factoter.

New schedule.

8 .15 to 10. Rock history.

10 to 11.

Rock appreciation and theory.

And then band practice till the end of the day.

What about math?

No, not important.

World cultures?

Not important. You guys, we need to focus here.

Don't you want to win this contest? It's prestigious.

Um, question.

How am I being graded in all this?

I mean, since I'm band manager and I have the most responsibility, wouldn't

you... Summer, if you grade Grub one more time, I will send you back to the

first grade. You got it?

Back to your seat now.

Fine.

What are we going to play?

You don't have to worry about that. We have awesome material, which I wrote.

Let's hear it.

What?

Let's hear your song.

You want to hear my song?

I'll play you my song, if you want to hear it.

Thing is, I just want you to keep in mind, I wrote it in like 15 minutes.

And it's not done yet.

And you might not like... Play a song, Schneebly.

Okay, I will sing it for you, but let me just get in the zone. I was not

planning on unveiling it, but I will sing it.

Tip of the tongue, teeth in the lips.

Okay, it starts off a dark stage and then a beam

of light.

and you can see me and my guitar.

In the end of time, there

was a man who knew the road, and the writing was written on the

stone.

And then a thin layer of fog comes in around my ankles.

Roadies, that means dry ice. We're going to talk about this later.

In the ancient time.

An artist led the way, but no one seemed to understand.

Chimes, Freddie. In his heart he knew the artist must be true.

But the legend of the rent was way past due. And then, Katie, you come

in with the bass.

Well, you think you'll be just fine without me, but you're mine!

You think you can kick me out of the band, and then, Zach, you come in with a

face melter.

Okay?

Well, it's just one problem there.

The band is mine!

How can you kick me out of what is mine?

And then, Hawaii Five -O, you ever see that show?

Okay, well, there's a drum solo in it that goes... You're not hardcore.

Unless you live hardcore.

And then that's where I want the backup singers to be like, well, you're not

hardcore. No, you're not hardcore. Unless you live hardcore. Unless you

hardcore. But the legend of the ranch was way hardcore.

Boom! Big old explosion.

Some, like, confetti comes down.

Anyway, that's all I got so far. It's a work in progress.

I liked it, Mr. Schneebly. I thought it was really catchy.

Thank you.

Mr. Eck? Mm -hmm? We came up with some names for the band.

Yeah? Hit me. The Bumblebees?

No, it's Fizzy.

The Koala Bears.

No, what are you talking about? It's too sissy.

Okay, girls, I need to speak with Principal Mullins for a moment.

Hey, Ms.

Mullins. Hello.

How's it going?

How about pig rectum?

Sure, you should.

It's a science project.

No, man. Listen, Raj, I was thinking about organizing a field trip for the

at the end of the month. What do you think about that?

Well, substitutes, as a rule, do not organize field trips. Right, but I

I'm going to be here for a while, so... Well, that remains to be seen.

Have you met some of our other teachers?

No, but listen, don't you think the kids could learn by getting out of the

classroom?

You know, it's more complicated than that, all right? There's safety issues.

Parents need to be notified, all right? It's against school policy. Mr. S., I

have a lot of ideas.

Hmm? How about everyone in magenta with beads and sequins... Billy, Billy, can't

you see I'm talking to Principal Mullins?

Oh, hi.

Will you?

I'll make up some samples.

Everyone, this is Ned Schneebly. He's covering for Gail.

This is Gabe Green, he teaches second. Hello. Jane Lemons, fourth. Hey, there.

Bob's our P .E. teacher, and Roberta's our librarian.

How do you do? Would you care to join us, Mr. Schneebly?

Yeah. Did I say that correctly?

Schneebly? Actually, it's Schneeblay.

Well, we were just discussing testing.

Mm -hmm. Which test do you find most effective, the TAS or the Wilson -Binet?

Mm -hmm.

I say no testing, and I will tell you why, Joe.

Gabe. Gabe. I believe that...

The children are the future.

Now listen, you can teach them well, but buddy, you have got to let them lead

the way.

Let the children's laughter just remind us how we used to be.

That's what I decided long ago.

Isn't that a song?

No.

I don't think so.

No. No, it isn't.

No,

you're not hardcore.

Unless you live hardcore.

Unless you live hardcore.

All right, good.

Yeah.

Okay, Freddie, that was awesome. You're rocking. But it's a little sloppy, Joe.

Tighten up the screws, okay?

Zach, dude, what's up with the stiffness, man? You're looking a little

robotronic. Okay, let's grease up the hinges.

And listen, loosey -goosey, baby.

Loosey -goosey.

I'm just playing it the way you told me. I know. And you know what? It's

perfect. But the thing is, rock is about the passion, man.

Where's the joy? You're the lead guitarist, and we are counting on you

style, brother.

So try this out. This is an ancient technique. It's called power stance.

That's it. Power stance. You own the universe.

Now give me an E chord. Just go... But let me hear... Yeah, now

raise your goblet of rock.

It's a toast to those who rock. Now smile and nod your head and let me see

eyeballs wide like there's something wrong. Yeah!

Now, do it again. Give me that.

That's what I'm talking about. Okay, let's do it again from You're Not

One, two, three. Well, you're not hardcore.

Well, you're not hardcore.

But let me live hardcore.

But let me live hardcore.

And the legend of the rich was way hardcore.

Now we're rocking!

Your homework is to listen to some real music. Get inspired.

For Blondie, Blondie.

For Lauren, Yes.

That's the name of the band. Listen to the keyboard solo on Roundabout.

It will blow the classical music out your butt.

Okay, for you, Rush, 2112. Neil Peart, one of the great drummers of all time.

Study up.

Um, are we gonna be goofing off like this every day?

Uh, we're not goofing off.

We're creating musical fusion.

Well, um, are we going to be creating musical fusion every day? Yeah.

Get used to it.

Okay, and for you, Jimi Hendrix acts as bold as love. Dude, are you psyched

about the new project?

Sure.

Sure? Hey, wait, what's up, man?

You're the lead guitarist of an unbelievable rock band.

This is a dream come true for you. Okay.

All right.

I'll see you.

Mr. F?

Hey, Tamika, what's up?

I don't want to be a roadie.

What? Why not? It's an important job.

All right, well, you want to be security?

I want to be a singer.

A singer?

Okay, sing me something.

Tamika, I can't let you be a singer if you can't sing.

You told me to leave.

Oh,

my goodness.

Nice pipes, Tamika. Why didn't you raise your hand when I was looking for

singers?

You're in.

Welcome aboard.

Oh, okay, perfect.

Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon, listen to the vocal solo on The Great

the Sky.

All right?

All right.

Off to work.

Goodbye.

Play

your

music after you finish your homework, after you finish your chores, and not

until then.

Zach, Zach, do not walk away from me when I'm talking.

It's very rude, all right?

Last thing, you do your guitar after your homework and chores and only what

Sheinkopf gives you, all right? No more rock music, okay?

Okay. All right, get to class.

Watch that attitude.

Do you have another blanket?

All

right,

everybody, class has begun.

And you know what?

You guys have been doing real good in here.

And if I was going to give you a grade, I would give you an A.

But that's the problem.

Rock ain't about doing things perfect.

Who can tell me what it's really about?

Frankie. Uh, scoring six?

No.

See? No.

Eleni? Getting wasted.

No. Come on. No.

Leonard. Did you miss the man?

Yes. But you can't just say it, man.

You've got to feel it in your blood and guts.

If you want to rock, you've got to break the rules.

You've got to get mad at the man. And right now, I'm the man.

That's right. I'm the man. And who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's

going to tell me off?

Shut the hell up, Schneebly.

That's it, Freddy.

That's it.

Who can top him? Get out of here, stupid ass.

Yes, Alicia.

You're a joke.

You're the worst teacher I've ever had.

Summer, that is great. I like the delivery because I felt your anger.

Thank you. You're a fat loser and you have body odor.

All right.

All right. Now, is everyone nice and pissed off?

Yeah. Good. Time to write a rock song. Now, what makes you mad more than

anything in the world?

Billy. You.

Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on. You're tacky and I hate you.

Okay, you see me after class.

You. Gordon.

No allowance.

I didn't get no allowance today, so now I'm really ticked off.

You know what I mean?

What else makes you mad, Michelle?

Chores. I had to do my chores today, so I am really ticked off.

What else?

Bullies. All you bullies get out of my way, because I am really ticked off.

So what would you say to a bully, Zach?

I don't know.

No, come on.

If someone was right up in your grill, what would you say?

I don't know. If someone was pushing you around, telling you what to do, what

would you say?

Step off.

was this close to getting a chair on the Polish Philharmonic, and I nailed the

audition, but I didn't get it. Guess who did?

Yo -Yo Ma's cousin, Little Nepotiz.

But anyway, I just decided to give up on myself and become a teacher, because

those that can't do, teach.

And those that can't teach, teach Jim.

I'm just joshing.

Hey, Mr. Schneebly.

Hey, Zach.

I just wanted to say, that was a really cool lesson today.

Oh, thanks, dude.

I'll see you back in class.

Okay.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come

on.

What have you done to your hair?

It's called punk.

Well, it's not school uniform.

Miss Mullins, you're the man. Thank you, Frankie.

Good morning,

everyone. Just a reminder, Parents' Night is coming up, and I do expect

to have a presentation.

Sorry.

As you know, it is the most important event of the year. The parents will be

scrutinizing our every move, so I find it's best to over -prepare, right? The

best defense is a good offense.

And, um, Roberta, now that I see you, I, um... Hey, is, uh, is she always like

that?

Oh, yeah.

Except for the time she got drunk.

At the alumni dinner?

You should have seen that.

She got up on the table and did a Stevie Nicks impersonation.

And she wasn't bad.

Remember, she took up the tablecloth and whirled around.

That had been on the turkey tray that were touched over onto the peanut butter

and jelly tray.

Now, I know that you know that this is a severe problem.

Clear. Alright,

you guys.

Everybody ready?

Yeah. Strap in.

Let's do this.

Blue. Blue, that's right.

Okay, now Columbus had three boats. The Nina, the

Gordon. The Pinta. Pinta, that's right. And

Marco.

Santa Marina. Santa Marina.

That's good.

Actually, it's Santa Maria.

Okay, now you got... Listen, pay attention, kids.

He's gone. I am not afraid to plunk every last one of you.

Check out these little kids, man.

Hey, shut up. Oh, sorry.

I thought this was the Battle of the Bands, not the Mickey Mouse Club. Hey,

want a piece of me?

Hey, look at this guy. Freddy, Freddy, come on, man. Focus up, you guys. We've

got to nail this audition.

Mr. S?

What's up? I don't think I can sing.

What are you talking about?

Come here.

So, Tamika, what's going on? What do you mean you can't sing?

I don't feel good. I feel sick.

Just let Alicia and Marta do it.

No! They can't sing like you can. I need you in the chorus.

What is it? Are you nervous?

Yeah, why?

What are you afraid of?

They're gonna laugh at me. What? Why would they laugh at you?

I don't know.

Because I'm fat.

Tamika.

Hey, you've got something everybody wants. You've got talent, girl.

You have an incredible singing voice, and I'm not just saying that.

You heard of Aretha Franklin, right?

Okay, she's a big lady, but when she starts singing, she blows people's

Everybody wants to party with Aretha!

And you know who else has a weight issue?

Who?

Me.

But once I get up on stage, start doing my thing, people worship me because I'm

sexy and chubby, man.

Why don't you go on a diet?

Because I like to eat. Is that such a crime?

Look, you know what? That's not even the point.

The thing is, you're a rock star now.

All you got to do, you just got to go out there, just rock your heart out.

People are going to dig you, I swear.

Let's just go out there. Show them what we got. What do you say?

Okay.

Thank you.

Let's rock.

Okay.

We are good to go.

No, we're not.

Freddy took off.

What? Where?

The guys invited him out to their van. What?

Come on, you guys.

Freddie? Hey, have you seen a little kid like Yehi?

Huh?

Freddie,

this is your teacher talking!

Hey, Mr. Yehi.

Man!

What's going on here?

Nothing. Freddie Jones, you get out of that van this instant.

See you, Daddy.

Hey, man.

You think you're pretty funny partying with an innocent little kid?

Dude, we're just chilling.

That kid's ten years old, man. He looks up to you, and you are setting an

example for him, so quit messing around and start acting like a responsible

adult!

That goes for all of you guys. Don't make me come back here.

Come on, let's go.

What's the big deal?

I'm acting like my mom. What's the big deal? You had me worried sick, man.

I was just hanging out with some real rockers.

You listen to me. Those aren't real rockers. They're posers.

Rock ain't about...

Getting loaded and acting like a jerk. Now, this is serious business here, man.

We've got a mission.

Putting on a great show is the most important thing you can do. One great

show can change the world.

Do you understand me?

Yeah.

And if you ever scare me like that again, so help me. I will send a note

your parents. Let's go.

All right, you guys, just wait here for a minute.

What's going on? Where's everyone?

Auditions are over.

What? Who's in charge?

Listen.

You can't leave. You haven't heard our band.

Sorry, the bill's full. We're already overbooked. No, no, no. Let us just play

one song. We're all here. We're ready to go.

Who are they? They're my band.

Kids? What is it, some kind of gimmick?

No, it's not a gimmick. I know they're kids, but they're awesome. Just listen.

Look, thanks for coming down, but you're really not what we're looking for.

You listen to me.

These kids have worked their little fingers to the bone just to play one

for you, so you just sit down, shut up, and listen!

Sheila, call security.

Look, it was just a warm -up gig. We'll still be able to compete against the

other schools next quarter. What are you talking about? This is the gig, Summer.

This was our Woodstock.

Then we shouldn't take no for an answer.

Don't take no for an answer. Did you see? He was going to call the fuzz.

Would you just listen?

I have an idea.

Hi there.

Hi. It's okay. It's cool. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. I shouldn't

have barged in here without telling you what was going down. It wasn't fair to

you, and it wasn't fair to the kids, especially after everything they've been

through. And I, God, I feel like a jerk.

God, I just, I'm taking him back to the hospital.

Just wanted to say I'm really sorry. That's okay. That's fine.

See, I volunteer down at St.

Margarita's in the children's wing, teaching music.

That's very nice. Actually, no, it isn't, because I totally screwed up.

I told the kids if they practiced, they'd get into Battle of the Bands.

What'd you tell them that for?

I don't know. I just wanted to give them something to look forward to, something

to keep their spirits up.

Look at them.

They're terminal.

Every last one of them.

Jeez. Yeah, and all they wanted to do before they bit the dust was play Battle

of the Bands.

What do they all have?

It's a, uh... It's a rare blood disease.

Stickatitomoniosis.

What's that? I've never heard of it.

You're lucky.

You could tell.

on the bill.

Cut it out!

You're dying, remember?

Summer,

you get an $8 .50 gold star!

I didn't do it for the grade.

Give me some of that.

Hit me.

The school of rock.

The school of rock.

And we shall teach rock and roll to the world.

There's no way you can stop.

To your positions. To your positions!

And

therefore,

E equals MC squared.

Oh, Miss Mullins, come in. I'm sorry to interrupt, but Miss Lemons said she

heard music.

Coming from the classroom.

Music?

Uh, music. I haven't heard any music.

Uh -oh. You know what? Miss Lemons must be on crack. Right, kids?

Well, uh, well, what's that?

Oh, that.

Yeah. We were singing. We were singing. And we were learning.

We were learning in sing -song.

Huh. One of your methods?

Mm -hmm. Yeah. I find that it's really helpful when you're teaching the

that are the boring subjects.

Huh.

Well, you don't mind if I just sit in on your class this afternoon, do you?

No, no. Come on back this afternoon.

It is the afternoon I meant now.

So... Please, just continue with your method.

Yeah, okay.

is a really cool thing.

So get off your ass, let's do some math. Math, math, math, math, math.

Three minus four is... Negative one.

That's right.

And six times a billion is...

Six billion?

Nailed it.

And 54... Or is it 45 more? Then what is the answer, Martha?

Nine. No, it's eight.

No, it's nine.

Yes, I was testing you.

It's nine.

And that's a magic number.

We're very happy that you're able to extend your stay, but I...

I must say, I find your methods of teaching very unusual. Well, I did study

Dr. Errol von Strausenberger.

Who?

Oh, you don't know him?

Oh, he's like one of the leading leaders in unusual methods.

Actually, he's how I was appointed to the presidential council for

education nurse.

That sounds very impressive, but we're not interested in experimental education

here.

So, if from now on you could just stick to the curriculum, that would be great.

Yes. Right. Thank you.

Uh, Roz?

Yes? You know, I would really love to talk some more about your philosophy on,

you know, teaching.

Do you think maybe we could grab some coffee?

You want to go get some coffee with me?

Yeah, I really was.

And you're sure you don't have any coffee?

Uh -huh. I'm quite sure.

Well, I've never been here before.

I've never been to the side of town before, in fact.

So, I have been...

Well, I've been dying to ask you something, Mr. Schneebly. Please, call

Dewey.

Dewey?

Ned.

Call me Ned.

I was thinking my other name.

My middle name.

Oh.

Yeah. Well, um, Ned.

In your experience, how does Horace Green compare to the other schools that

you've taught at?

Oh, your school's the best.

You're just saying that.

I'm not.

Do you know that kids at other schools just have fun all the time? They're

running around.

There's no discipline.

They're happy. It's anarchy. This is the best school I have ever teached at. I

swear.

I'll drink to that.

You stay right there. I'm going to go put on some music.

Oh.

Really? Yes.

Stevie Nicks. Yeah.

Stevie. You know, she came to town and she did a concert and she was just so

wild. I know.

Oh, man. Oh, my gosh.

She put on the best show I've ever seen.

And she is so much better live than she is on the album. You know what I mean?

Yes. Yes. Oh, my gosh. No comparison.

Yeah.

You know what?

Oh, man, I would love to take the kids to a concert.

Concert? Yeah.

There's one at the end of the month that would be perfect.

The Philharmonic, they do the classics. They do Beethoven, Mozart, Enya, that

kind of stuff.

Huh.

Oh, but you guys have a policy about field trips, huh?

Would it be educational?

Would it be educational? It could be very educational.

Maybe we can make an exception.

Yes.

I'm holding you to that.

Make an exception.

Really nice time.

Yeah, ditto.

You know, this is the first time any teacher has ever asked me to do anything

outside of school.

No way.

Yeah, it's true.

In six years.

Well, you know, I think it might just be one of those things where people are a

little intimidated.

Intimidated?

They hate me. No, they don't. Yes, they do.

They sure do. I can see.

I wasn't always like this, you know.

I wasn't always wound this tight. There was a time when I was fun.

I was funny.

I was.

But you can't be funny and be the principal of a prep school.

No, you cannot.

Because when it comes to their kids, these parents, they have no sense of

No. And if anything goes wrong, it's my head.

All right, it's my head in the smasher. These parents will come down on me like

a nuclear bomb.

I can't make a mistake. I got to be perfect.

And that pressure has turned me into one thing that I never wanted to be.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am. I am a big one.

Well, I don't think so.

I think you're pretty cool.

You're way cool.

Really?

Okay, drum?

House. Keyboard?

House.

Amp? Mm -hmm.

All right, cable? Got them. All right, guitar?

Yes. Mr. Rath?

Yeah. What do you think?

It might be a little distracting.

It's glitter off, and it's glam, and it's fabulous.

Billy, it's just not the right style.

Style? You're going to talk to me about style?

You can't even dress yourself. Look at that bow tie.

I'm not going to be talking about my bow tie.

You know what? I give up. They could just wear their uniform.

That's not a bad idea.

Not a bad idea?

I was kidding.

Excuse me.

Hey, hey, ho, ha. What is that?

What's what?

What are you playing?

Just something I wrote.

You wrote a song?

Well, let's hear it.

No, it's not that good.

Come on, I want to hear it, Kurt Cobain.

Okay, but I'm not much of a singer.

That's all right.

Baby, we were making straight A's.

But we were stuck in a dumb day.

Don't take much to memorize your life.

Feel like I've been hypnotized.

Wait.

You wrote that?

You wrote that?

Okay, that's it. You guys, rock and roll positions.

What are you doing?

What am I doing? We're going to learn your song.

But why?

Because that's what bands do, man.

Play each other's songs. You got lyrics?

Hook me up.

No more secret songs.

All right, Lawrence.

No more reading. Time for rock.

Get on the drum.

Face it up.

What was that first chord?

D. Play it.

D. Mm -hmm. B.

Mm -hmm. G.

Mm -hmm. D.

Mm -hmm.

Baby, we were making straight A's. Yeah, yeah.

But we were stuck in the dumb days.

Mm -hmm.

Don't take much to memorize your lies.

And if you want to be the teacher's best.

You know what would be better, though? You know what would be better? If it was

rock got no reason, rock got no rhyme.

You know, can we try that? And also, we need some ooh -la -la's. So like ooh -la

-la -la -la, ooh -la -la -la -la. Try that at the chorus, okay? Can we take it

from the chorus?

One, two, three, four. One, two, three. And if you want to be the teacher.

I'm going to take a solo there if it's cool with you.

All right. And then you can solo later.

Okay. But let me just rock a solo there. I can feel it.

All right.

Tomorrow's the big day.

So get your rest. No late night parties, drinking tequila and trying to get

lucky.

Chances like this do not come around every day.

Now, you've played hard in here, people, and I am proud of every last stinking

one of you.

So let's just give this everything we got. We may fall on our faces, but if we

do, we will fall with dignity, with a guitar in our hands and rock in our

hearts. And in the words of ACDC, we roll tonight to the guitar bite.

And for those about to rock, I salute you.

Roz, excuse me, just wanted to remind you about our little field trip

What field trip?

The educational concert we were talking about.

Oh, I forgot about that. I don't know. You know, school policy is very

to get around in this situation.

But you said, remember you said we could make an exception and the kids are all

excited about hearing some Mozart.

I know, but the preparations, there's not enough time. I don't know anything

about it. Where is it?

Well... I've got it all covered.

What's going on? Are you mad at me or something?

No, no, Ned. I'm sorry. I'm just a little stressed out because it's

night tonight.

Hey, it's all gonna be fine.

Ned, would you mind coming with me tonight to parents' night?

It wouldn't be a date or anything like that. It's just that, you know, I get

nervous around the parents and there's something about you that makes me feel a

little more relaxed.

You know what? That sounds so great, Roz, but, uh... But what?

I wasn't planning on going tonight.

But you have to come. You're their teacher. You have to give the

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I got you. I'm ready for that.

So we'll go together?

Okay. Why don't you pick me up at, say, 640?

Done. Okay.

All right.

What are you all dressed up for?

Uh, I got a hot date.

That's weird.

I got a check from Horace Green Prep for $1 ,200.

I've never even worked there.

What are you doing?

Calling the school.

Hi, this is Ned Schneebly.

Dewey?

What's going on?

I told him 15 times, make it out to cash!

Dewey?

I did something bad, Ned.

No. Yeah, they called looking for a sub.

And I said, I was you just to make some money. But then I got there, and the

kids, they rock, man.

There's this kid, Larry, who's like, I'm not cool. But now he's like... And

there's this other girl who could sing like... But then she thought she was too

fat to sing, so they were all dying of this rare blood disease.

And then the principal got drunk. And now we're playing tomorrow a battle of

bands. Isn't that great? It's the coolest thing to ever happen. One day.

all I ask, Ned. And then I will come clean. I'll tell everyone it was my

He had nothing to do with it. You'll be fine one day.

Don't say anything to her.

Please. She'll blow it. She'll blow everything.

Please.

Hey.

What's going on?

Nothing. I got a hot date.

That's what's going on.

See you later.

What's going on, Ned?

Nothing.

Okay.

I don't think I can go in there.

What's wrong?

Roz, I'm not a teacher.

Oh, Ned, a substitute is a teacher?

No, no, I'm not a teacher. I'm a fraud.

No, you're not.

You're a dedicated, talented teacher, and those parents are going to love you.

Now just get in there and tell those parents what you've been teaching their

kids. Yeah, you know, math, English, what,

science, what else, geography, history.

Latin, Spanish, French, Latin, math.

Did I say that right? Anyway, you know, just all the stuff you want your kids to

know. It's been covered, okay?

So, it was great to meet y 'all, and drive

safe. Excuse me.

Ever since you started teaching here, all my son can talk about is music. He

says when he grows up, he wants to be a musician. Is this your influence?

Mr. Schneebly, why has my daughter become obsessed with David Geffen?

How is this homework?

Okay. See, I would like to tell you about what we've been doing in here, but

there's such a thing as teacher -student confidentiality, and I don't want to be

in breach of educational law because I could be dismembered by the teacher's

union.

So... You expect us to believe this garbage?

I... Mr. Rath.

Don't you think you should just tell them about the project?

What project?

Our class project.

Every school in the state is competing.

Competing?

It's not for next quarter, but Mr. S. wanted us to get a head start.

Well, what's the project, Summer?

It's prestigious.

We don't go on a permanent record, Mom.

Oh.

You might as well tell them, Mr. Schneebly.

Okay, look.

I've gotten to know your kids over the past few weeks, and they are awesome.

Zach is an insane guitarist. He's the next Hendrix, and he's 10 years old.

And Gordon here, he's a genius.

He did a whole professional light show on his computer in three days.

And Marta here, she can hit an A above high C. Did you know that?

Because that's tough.

Not many singers can do that.

Summer. Summer is going to be the first woman president of the United States of

America, and she could run later this year even, and I would vote for her.

Look, you guys, they're just all really cool kids.

And if they were mine, I would be so proud.

And I am proud, just to even know them.

And, um... Sir, can I see you in the hall for a moment?

Can I just... Let me just say a couple more things.

What's going on?

What's happening, officer?

Apparently, that man is not Ned Schneebly.

What?

What? This man is Ned Schneebly. Yeah, he's not even a teacher. You called the

cops? She did. She got it out of me. Sorry.

You're apologizing to him?

Sorry.

Ned.

Ned, is this true?

Who are you?

My name is Dewey Finn.

And no, I'm not a licensed teacher.

But I have been touched by your kids.

And I'm pretty sure I've touched them.

What?

I have nothing to say to you.

Me either.

Okay, I'm going to bed.

You know, Dewey, it's one thing to throw your life away, but then to put Ned's

career in jeopardy is so selfish. Hey, you're the one who told me to be like

and get a job. Yeah, yeah, I told you to be like Ned, Dewey. I didn't tell you

to be Ned.

You're not even going to apologize?

You're the one who should apologize for college.

It's not like I murdered anybody. I just wanted to play a great show.

Shut up, shut up.

You both just cut it out for one second.

Look, I'm sorry, dude. I was desperate.

You can't understand. It was easy for you to give up music. It ain't easy for

me. It wasn't easy for me.

I miss it.

Well, then why'd you give it up?

Because I couldn't keep kidding myself anymore.

You can blame it all on bad luck, but in the end, maybe we just weren't that

good.

Sometimes you gotta know when to quit.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I suck.

That's not what I said.

Well, music is my life, man.

What do you want me to do?

I don't know.

But... I think it's time you moved out.

So his name really wasn't Mr. Schneebly?

No, it was like Dewey something.

What about the project?

Wake up, Marco. There was no project.

He just wanted us to play a show so we could make some money.

I can't believe we weren't getting graded on any of this. What are you so

about? We had a three -week vacation.

Yeah, it was a waste of time, but it was a lot better than school.

It was not a waste of time. Hate to break it to you, bro, but yeah, that's

it was.

You're an idiot.

Hey, shut up. No, you shut up. Hey, you want to go?

Huh? Hey, if you touch him, I'll shove a six down your throat. Got it?

Mr. S was cool.

We were too long and too hard not to play this show.

Okay, so what are we supposed to do?

I say we get out of here and play the damn show.

How could you let our children be exposed to this imposter, this maniac?

Did you just let anyone walk off the street and teach here? I mean, $15 ,000.

Let me assure you that nothing...

is more important to us than for you to feel your children are in a safe and

secure environment.

Okay, we're all here for the filter.

Where's Mr. Sleebly?

He didn't tell you? He's at his house. We need to go pick him up. Come on.

go. Hurry.

How'd you guys get in here?

Front door was open.

Why aren't you guys in school?

We did what you told us. We stuck it to the man.

Forget about what I told you. Look, I'm a loser.

Okay? You listen to my advice, you'll end up like me, with nothing.

Come on, man. Quit goofing around.

This is serious business.

We're on a mission.

One great rock show can change the world.

Look out the window.

No way.

That is so punk rock.

What's going on?

We've got some rockin' to do.

All I can say is let's rock One

more thing I want to say I'm sorry that I used you guys

I'm sorry I lied and it's not cool to lie to

your band

We're going to be late. There's no time for apologies. Let's go. Come on.

All right, let's go.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the show.

You want to go?

Yeah, I want to go. Are you serious?

I don't want to miss this, Patty.

Unbelievable.

After everything he's done to you.

That is so typical Ned.

When are you going to stop being a pushover? When are you finally going to

dicking up your...

I've just been informed that all of your children are missing.

Yeah, we're competing. We're the School of Rock.

You and all these kids?

Yeah, we're the band and crew.

We better get in here. Hurry up. Okay, come on, you guys.

Hey, we're here. You're late. You're up next. Okay, we'll be ready. Come on.

How's security?

We're set.

Okay, Gordon, what about the lights? The light board's up in the balcony. I'll

patch it up there. All right, and Billy, how's beautification?

Are you kidding?

Okay, listen up, you guys.

We only have one song to let these guys know who we are, so I think we should

play Zax.

But why?

I mean, really?

Yes. The thing is, you guys, I ain't that good.

I'm not, and I can admit it, but you, dude, you're ten years old. You're

better than me. Your song rocks harder, so let's play it.

But hey, you know what?

That's just one guy's opinion. This ain't my band. It's our band. We all

say. We haven't practiced that one as much. I mean, we might not win.

Hey, we didn't come here to win.

We came here to play one great show. And on Zach's song, you guys really rock.

You know my vote. Who else is with me?

All right, let's pray.

God of rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass.

We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds

with our high -voltage rock. In your name we pray.

Amen. Amen.

Now let's get out there and melt some faces!

Yeah! Go get ready.

All right, but you gotta sing it. Are you sure? It's your song.

Yeah, that's cool. I'm no singer.

Okay, I'll sing it. Yeah.

What about the light? All the cues are to the other song.

Okay, Gordon.

You're just going to have to feel it. You've got to improvise. You know the

song. I know you can do it.

Okay. Go.

Run like the wind.

Hey.

What's this?

You wanted to go with a uniform, so put it on.

Quick.

Slow down, old man. My son is in there. Where's your ticket? My son is in there.

He's 10 years old.

I don't care how old he is. You're not getting past me without a ticket.

We're not here to see the show. Excuse me. We have a situation here. My name is

Rosalie Mullins. I am the principal of Forest Green. We had a field trip that

went awry. Some lunatic has kidnapped our kids, all right? Our kids are in

there. You guys are breaking my heart. There's the ticket table.

All right. Maybe we should just get tickets. All right. Let's get tickets.

Hey, what's up?

We're the School of Rock, and this song was written by our own Zach Mooneyham.

Baby, we was fakin' straight A's But we was stuck in the dumb days

Don't take much to mentalize your lies I feel like I've been hypnotized

And then that magic man, he come to town Woo -wee! He just spun my head

around He said, we're tested, so test it Do it to me, fire!

And now, baby

you better get me to school

Do what Magic Man do. That's what Magic Man say. Say what?

Now can I please have the attention of the choir?

Today's assignment.

school's ban.

Amazing. Who's your manager?

I am.

Summer Hathaway.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, hey, wait. Come here, guys. You guys rock, dude. How old are you? Ten.

Ten? No way, dude. How long have you been playing, man? About three years. I

used to play classical, but now I play rock.

Hey, you in a band?

No. No.

No. I am the principal of this school.

Yeah? Wow, this is cool.

It's cool.

Yes, it is.

It's very cool.

Yeah. Yes. It is cool. It is very cool. I like that.

Do you? Yes. You're so hot. What?

I'm sorry.

What? Are you warm?

All right, guys. This is it. The moment of truth.

The winner.

of this year's Battle of the Bands competition is no vacancy!

No!

Boo!

It was a beauty contest. They weren't even listening to the music.

Boo! No! What?

What's going on?

On behalf of the Battle of the Bands, I'd like to present this check for $20

,000.

What's wrong?

What's wrong, Summer? Didn't you hear? We lost!

Hey, chill out, dude.

Rock isn't about getting an A.

Thanks, but they'll never want anything.

Don't let the man get you down.

Yeah, I mean, dude, you gotta cheer up. We played a kick -ass show.

We did, didn't we?

It was unbelievable, wasn't it?

Yeah.

What

is

that?

It's an encore.

They want us to go play another song. It's good. Go, you guys.

Wait, no, no, just the band.

Thank you, yes.

And quit low -balling up.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Ah.

Mm -hmm.

Here we go.

I tell you people, it's harder than it looks. It's a long way to the top. It's

long way to the top.

It's a long way to the top.

That's a C.

All right, you got that?

Let's see. Okay, Paolo, let's see you.

Yeah, your fingers are basically right.

Sean, what do you got? Let's see. All right, play.

Toby, you got it? Let's see.

Very good, you guys.

Now take it down nice and quiet.

The next thing I want to hear is a face -melting solo by our own Zach

Mooneyham. Go!

Here we go!

Woo!

Dude, is my face okay?

I think she's bouncing it off.

All right. Now, the next thing I want to hear, the very next thing, I don't want

to hear anything unless I hear a gut -busting drum solo

from Freddie, take it away.

My gut got busted.

What did you do, Freddie?

Now I think it's time.

We heard from a little somebody.

Lawrence on lead.

Throw it on the keyboard. Go.

Woo!

Go way to the top if you want to rock and roll.

All right. Slow it up. Listen up, you guys.

Here's what I need.

I need you girls to repeat after me.

All right.

Now the first test is over.

I'm going to need Alicia to give me a two -second vocal solo go.

Here we go.

Don't bogart the mic, Alicia. That was beautiful, but now it's time.

Come on, Tameka, melt it.

tasty. Marta, blow my brains out. Go.

All right, that's it. Stop. You got to stop.

All right, take five.

Take five.

You want to go? All right.

That was a good class.