Original subtitles

of today.

Love kitten, strike back.

He looks like Romeo to me.

No, thank you.

Using Beckett as an example again.

You're picking on me. He is the cutest, sexiest, most arrogant, obnoxious. What

kind of class is this?

What do you care?

I don't kiss strange men in elevators. Not in my school you don't.

Well, fame costs.

And right here is where you start fame.

This shit will be in the school I'm gonna be in.

Like a market.

Only gotta notice me before they can discover me.

Hey, they've never seen dancing like this before.

Right? Yeah.

Well, I've heard about Lana Turner getting discovered in Schwab's. What if

hadn't been wearing that tight sweater? What if she'd had on, like, an old house

dress or something?

Lindsay, everybody knows those stories are just myth.

Wouldn't you always be so sensible?

Yeah.

You know what, man?

Maybe there's room for both of us in this movie.

Yeah, yeah, we could be like Fred Astaire and Fred Astaire.

Jeff David's my favorite director.

I loved Rockin' Extraterrestrial.

This is supposed to be a high school film, Reggie.

Jillian, hold on to your note.

You guys are going to be in the movie. No way. Wait a minute, we haven't even

danced with a guy yet.

Everybody's going to be in the movie.

I'm choreographing the big finale.

Oh, man.

on how he talked the Board of Ed into it. Jeff Stave's a pretty sharp guy.

Only two low -budget films under his belt, already cult classics.

This may be the one that puts him over the top.

A modern -day Lysistrata set in an academic environment.

Love kittens go to high school.

Sketchy. It's unseemly.

Worse, it'll get in the way of the studies.

Oh, it'll enhance them.

Besides, I've already asked Stave to be a guest artist for my drama class, and

it'll give the kids a chance to dance in the movie.

You probably think that I'm an old curmudgeon. No, of course not.

Well, sometimes I... I meant on the subject of this film.

It's just that, as a boy, I found films fascinating.

Unfortunately, I wasn't blessed with any particular talent.

Ah, you're jealous.

Never mind. Forget I said anything.

On the subject of Mr. Stave, I want someone responsible for making sure that

things don't get out of hand.

A student.

If there is one level -headed enough, I've got just the girl.

Excuse me, could you tell me where I can find Jeff's date?

Oh, he's over there.

Hold on.

Don't mess your hair up, beautiful. You're out of two minutes.

Welcome to Hollywood.

Fast friends to the last frame.

I want a certain look here, Bill.

I'm possibly streaked with fire and make a wonderful life.

It's hard. It's fantasy, ecstasy.

Who is she?

Excuse me.

I'm trying to line up a shot here.

Thank you. Sorry.

What are you doing?

Look, I said I was sorry.

It takes time to block a shot.

You think inspiration's easy to come by?

Sorry, miss, but I'm Cameron.

That's Mr. Stave.

You want to assist him from the sidelines, okay, Marilyn?

Park machine's ready.

Thanks, Kimazabi.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I know you from somewhere. You're hogging the

ball. Rockin' extraterrestrial. You were the monster's girlfriend.

Maxi Sharp, right?

Are you going to pass the ball or what?

And you're starring in Love Kittens, too. That's really great. My name is

Velasquez. Nice meeting you.

Angry.

Angrier.

Outraged.

Now, turn the fury inward.

I don't want to see it.

I want to feel you see it.

Bring it down, Beckett. Less is more. This isn't Broadway.

She's mugging, isn't she?

Reminds me of a bad audition for the block.

For God's sake, stop acting.

Steve McQueen didn't act.

Garbo didn't act.

Veronica Lake didn't act.

Maybe she should have.

Don't tell me I'm not angry.

Why are you smiling?

What is so funny?

Finally, some real emotion.

Yes! Yes! Very good. Excellent work, Drew. Very good. Okay, everybody, all

right.

Jeffy, look how hot this is.

What do you care? If you want it to be real, you've got to feel it.

And it's not.

And it's not all hard work.

Using Beckett as an example again.

We all have qualities that we're born with or we're not. Judy Holliday had a

great smile.

It's possible Beckett does too, but she still seems to be stuck in the last

exercise.

Derringer has a natural intensity.

Miss... Higgins.

Miss Higgins has...

A natural ability to set off bells.

Okay, all right.

Before you go, your assignment for next time. Short, simple, to the point.

I want a monologue revealing the real you.

All right, go.

Uh -oh.

Okay,

I think he's so hot.

You're talking about Jeff Day. Crown Prince of Cool. He's a jerk. Jillian, he

the cutest, sexiest. Most arrogant, obnoxious. I can't believe you get to be

assistant. He compared me to Judy Holliday. What's wrong with that?

Who is Judy Holliday? Jillian was a compliment.

Well, I still think he's a jerk.

So, uh, how's it working out with the student assistant?

It's a bit on the humorless side.

Not easily swayed. One over?

No. Perfect.

I've given Miss Beckett a list of rules and regulations, which I expect that she

will see to it that you adhere to. I don't want... I'm sorry.

Did you understand that? Rules and... You're not listening to me, are you? You

haven't heard a word I've said.

I was just thinking that you look like, well... What?

Like a principal.

Well, I am a principal.

Well, that is the one part in Love, Kids which hasn't been cast yet.

You're not suggesting that I... Just a small part? Only one line?

Not in my school you don't.

Not in my school you don't.

Will you do it?

I couldn't possibly without at least a couple of days rehearsal.

Not in my school you don't.

Not in my school.

Not in my school.

So you can use the rehearsal hall up here during the day, but you can't use

chorus.

Watch the electricity. This is an old building, not one of your fancy

high -rises. Hey, I know what I'm doing.

And it's my job to see that you do it.

All the dames in all the high schools in New York City.

Excuse me?

Casablanca. Don't tell me you never saw it. I don't see movies much.

It's over 40 years old. It's on the late show all the time.

It'll stay up that late.

It figures.

We still have the third floor rules to go over, if you don't mind.

Music rooms in, corridors out.

No excess noise during orchestra rehearsals.

Darren Forth gave me a list, too.

Then why am I wasting my time?

I had a few minutes.

I took the tour.

You know, when you're mad, you look like Natalie Wood in Inside Daisy Clover.

You look mad.

Darn it! Didn't I warn you guys about overloading the circus?

Will you please get off of me?

You mean, this is... You.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

No, I just really hate the dark.

You do.

This isn't funny.

Stop it. I'm not going to beg.

Please.

There's something about you that brings out the worst in me.

Then you admit it. You're purposely driving me crazy.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Jamie Lee Curtis. Halloween 2. Just before the boogeyman tried to stab her.

You're awful.

You're gorgeous.

Okay,

let me have the first team. Put a fresh mag on the camera. I want a long take,

so I can say what I need.

All right. Come into the shot here.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Tundu, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight. Fifth, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Three, four, five, six, seven, eight. You know it's a sad day when all the

get the leads.

Well, it is called Love Kid.

It's about a bunch of girls who take over a high school. What are you talking

about? A serious battle of sex.

American moviegoers are calling Jeff's dad.

Start reading American moviegoers. And just when did you start calling Jeff's

dad, Jeff?

I stopped by the library this morning on my way to school. Oh, yeah. Was there

you decided he wasn't a jerk?

Twice.

A girl's entitled to change her mind.

Well, you agree with me now. He's a fox.

He's not bad. All right. Go for it. Look, you're in the perfect position.

those hours you're going to be spending with him.

Consider it a Valentine's present from here and forth.

Reggie, not bad doesn't mean in love.

You said anything about love.

Second of all, he's only going to be here a few weeks. And another.

Hey, Derringer.

What do you got?

Only my preliminary work.

But I think you're going to like it.

Okay, everybody.

Into the opening position.

The big cheese is here. We're going to give him a good show.

Like a young Margot Kidder who dances, huh?

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Ah, I know what you're thinking, Maxie, but forget it. She's a high school kid.

She's the same age as me.

Have I ever chased you?

There were times I wouldn't have minded.

Look, I got a film to direct. She's my assistant.

Strictly boots.

I never stopped this crew from having a little fun.

Fun is one thing. Love is something else. Whoever said anything about love?

Not in my school, you don't.

Not in my school.

Not in my school.

Not in my school, you don't.

Nothing else. You're versatile.

Come on. What do you really think? I like your second choice. Very solid.

principle -ish.

Miss Beckett, take good care of this man.

I'm just going to take a cake.

Oh, let me help. That's okay. No trouble. No, thank you.

Oops.

Okay.

There you go.

I don't know what's funnier, the spaghetti on your blouse or the look on

face. What did you say that's too funny?

Oh, please.

Dearie, this is no time to be formal.

Here, here, here.

Crazy, you know that?

Haven't you ever seen Moe, Larry, and Curly? Curly who?

The Three Stooges.

How about the Marx Brothers?

The Bowery Boys?

The screwball comedies of the 40s? No, I'm sorry. I guess I've never seen those

movies. But I did see Animal House.

How about

calling

it true?

Yeah, I'd like that.

One condition.

Treat me like you did before you found out who I was.

Oh, when I thought you were just one mean ball player.

You should see me cheerlead.

Whoa.

Hey, what's this you're working on?

Oh, a drama class model.

The real you.

Tell me about it.

Well, let's see.

Okay, everybody thinks I'm this incredibly good -looking macho guy.

And you're not?

Well, of course I am.

That's why I'm having so many problems with it. It's because everybody knows me

already.

This place is nothing like Hogwild High School.

Oh, yeah, you played that crazy girl that set the chemistry lab on fire.

Well, they never got to a classroom.

How'd you know we went to school?

I had time.

I was doing commercials when I was six, and I did my first movie when I was

nine. I had a tutor on the staff.

What a way to grow up.

It's easy to just write off the classics.

Language might seem a little difficult, huh?

But feelings, feelings are timeless.

And by studying Shakespeare, you just might get a chance to understand

a little bit better.

Now, I remember... All right, go.

Go. Sit.

Get sharp.

You don't have to say anything. I'll quit crashing your class.

Actually, I was just going to ask you why.

No big deal. I'm just killing time in between scenes.

Things must be a little dull around the set.

The only class you've missed so far this week is my two o 'clock independent

scene study.

Of course, you could have come in.

You might have enjoyed having a star.

Some star.

You're a working actress.

Yeah, but... But what?

I always play the same kind of characters.

I mean, don't get me wrong, a gig's a gig, but once in a while... You want a

challenge. I can't remember the last time I had one.

Maxie, if you want to join us while you're in town, feel free. Come on in,

up a chair.

But you're going to have to prepare the assignments just like everybody else.

You're going to have to be ready for the same criticism.

And that can get a little tough.

Yeah, forget it, Mr. Seeger.

Frightening, isn't it?

Jeff, do you want the student background back? No. No.

No. I'm doing close -ups. I don't need them. Close -ups. All right, let's do

Roll camera.

Quietly. We've got speed.

And marking.

Okay, everybody settle.

Action maxi.

Mr. Principal, we're laying down the law.

things you're gonna have us to contend with. As of today, love kittens strike

back! Yeah!

Not in my school you don't, sweetheart.

Cut!

Good! Good!

Real good, real good, everybody.

Nice work, Bob.

You think so? I added the, uh, the sweetheart. I thought it was a good

liked it. I liked it. Very Raymond Burr.

In fact, Based on your performance tonight, I'm adding the principal to the

final sequence.

Another line? The entire monologue.

Let's get ready for the next shot.

Props, bring out the water pistols.

This next thing is going to be great. This is where the love kittens hold the

football team hostage by, get this, threatening to ruin their hairdos. The

stooges meet the Brad Pats. Oh, you're catching on.

Bad news, Jeffrey.

How bad?

Well, Prop screwed up and forgot the water pistols.

We've got to get that scene tonight. Have they called?

They're phoning around right now, but it's going to take a while. I don't have

while. Jeff, why don't you try again? Listen, Ray, is there any way you can

think of to improvise the scene?

You're the director.

Jeff, I have an idea. Jillian, please.

What on earth can we get to replace water pistols in the next... You do?

Yeah, I do.

Marking.

Action. Say it again.

Come on. Come on, Annette.

I'm sorry I called you a babe.

Say it.

Cut.

Print.

That's a wrap.

Jillian, you're incredible.

You didn't have to take me to dinner.

I owe you.

I was just doing my job.

You stop arguing.

Okay. So, tell me more about your favorite movie.

You know what I like?

Everything slapstick.

Anything with Godzilla.

And I'm a sucker.

For Audrey Hepburn. Ah, I've given myself away.

Beneath this goofy exterior, I'm a simple sentimentalist.

You're nuts.

Tell me about some of your favorite films.

I haven't really seen that many old ones.

Well, you must have seen some.

Only one with Audrey Hepburn.

I can't even remember the name of it, but she kept meeting Gary Cooper in this

hotel in Paris, and the Gypsy Violins kept playing this one song over and over

again.

That's it.

What's the name of that?

The song I couldn't tell you. The film, the classic. Billy Wilder, 1957.

Love in the Afternoon.

So we do have something in common.

I mean, we like the same movie.

Oh. Underneath that serious exterior, you're a simple sentimentalist.

I don't know what I am anymore.

Well, don't you think you've turned my life upside down a bit, too?

I mean, I came here to work.

I didn't ask what you're doing for for this assignment.

And we have nothing in common.

I'm into Broadway, not Hollywood.

You're too young for me. I'll get along after this. Will you stop arguing?

Who's arguing?

And it's a tough job, too.

I mean, people look up to me and they expect me to be cool and together like

characters I play.

I've never looked inside much.

It's not like I'm afraid to or anything. It's just that what if the image turned

out to be more interesting than me?

Maybe that sounds weird for a 16 -year -old.

I wouldn't know.

I don't hang around with a lot of kids my own age.

You got the right idea. Just got to dig a little deeper and go for some raw

honesty.

Sorry. I had some costumes to put away and I couldn't help overhearing.

How do you know me or how I feel?

Sounds to me like you don't even know how you feel.

I was just working on a piece for my next movie.

It's about this young girl who can't quite know how she fits in in life.

You were working on Seeger's Assignment, weren't you? Wrong. I already told you

it's a thing for my next movie.

Relax. None of us are having an easy time with it. Well, I'm not one of you.

I'm just trying to help.

Get it, Jesse.

I couldn't possibly understand.

Who starred in Roger Corman's War of the Satellite?

Dick Miller?

What?

Phil Tucker's worst movie.

Oh, that's a hard one.

Robot Monster.

The man was a genius.

Okay, this one's for the free lunch.

That's director, rock and roll outer space place.

Cute, Jeff.

You're cute.

Oh, Jeff, look, I got to talk to you about this problem. Oh, sure, sure.

Ten minutes. Cafeteria.

You're the director.

Where were we?

I just got 40 out of 40 in film trivia, and I thought that meant you were taking

me to lunch. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You want me to catch Ray? No, that's

okay.

Still got ten minutes.

Bring back any memories?

Yeah, I almost punched you that night.

You almost did something else that night.

I don't kiss strange men in albums.

Maybe you haven't met the right strange man.

Oh, Jeff, Jeff, just the man I've been looking for. You know that speech that

you wrote for me? You're not worried, are you? Oh, no, no, of course not.

But there is something I would like to go over with you.

You don't mind, do you?

No, it's all yours.

Jeff, let's go into my office.

Got any plans for dinner?

Got anything in mind?

Eight o 'clock, the bistro, where it all began.

Jillian?

Jillian?

Jillian, this behavior of yours has gotten completely out of hand.

You talking to me, Rich?

It's not like you.

Making jokes and cutting class and staying up for the late show and all the

humming all the time.

Have you ever hummed before?

Well, a different song every now and then.

I think I'm in love.

Come on, he's not your type. He's so much older and he's going back to

California. And since when did you become so sensible?

I saw him standing at the footlights And I knew it wasn't wrong

That feeling that I had at first sight Told me there was something

going on Before I ever knew his name I knew I'd

never be the same Cause he looked like Romeo I think

you're taking this way too far

He might not catch

your eye, but he looks like Rosalie.

You don't know where the fish is eating.

You just don't seem to care.

You think he's just what you've been needing, but you should be running

scared.

I do know what your heart is saying, but can't you see the chance you're

taking? He looks like Romeo to me. I think you're taking this

way too far.

Look, Jilly, Romeo's a bit strong. I mean, he's cute, but... I'm really

concerned about you. You've got a temperature.

It's all right if you like him tall.

No, no, no, no!

Oh, the question is, what do I do now? I can't just leave school and go back to

Hollywood. Of course not. That's crazy.

On the other hand, it might be fun. Jilly Ann? Well, why not? Isn't that

it's all about?

Look, listening up is one thing, but giving up your whole life is something

else. You know, my mom married my dad when she was only 17. Yeah, well, no

offense, but is she a star on Broadway?

Have you changed your mind about that, too?

Look, why are you giving me such a hard time? It's your idea to go after him.

Come on, who would have figured you'd listen?

Tilly, has he even asked you yet?

Well, I'm going to ask him tonight.

I've been looking all over for you.

You're mad at me.

All right, so I was fooling around with Seeger's assignment, but I took your

advice, and I'm starting to get somewhere.

Thanks.

Forget it. That's what friends are for.

Well, I guess I don't have a lot of experience in that area.

Guess not.

Maxi Sharp.

Star of stage, screen, and commercials.

I thought I had it all aced.

Well, you know, we're not all that different.

Maybe we come from different places, but I thought I had it aced when I came

here, too.

What changed things for me was opening up to people. You know, like Mr. Seeger,

the kids in my classes, and letting them help.

Will you help me?

Quit hogging the ball.

When do you call tonight at 9 .30?

I've studying to do.

But we finish shooting tomorrow.

We only have a few more scenes left.

Shakespeare.

Hi.

You wouldn't happen to know where Jeff is, would you?

Um... He ran into an old film school friend, and they said something about

to a screening.

Oh. I guess he just forgot to tell me.

Welcome to Hollywood.

What do you mean?

There's an old expression about how you can fit all the sincerity of that town

into a flea's navel.

Never mind.

Wait, Maxie. No, I shouldn't have opened my big sarcastic mouth.

Jeff isn't like that. His movies come first. They always have, always will.

I've spent my entire life with people like him.

And they're fun and they're charming, but they live in a whole world of their

own. Well, maybe I'd like to live in that world with him.

Can't you see?

Jeff thinks he's Cary Grant and you're Ingrid Bergman.

And that's okay, as long as you don't take it too seriously.

Well, I'm dead serious.

And frankly, I'm getting a little tired of you, Maxie.

Well, then you may as well hear it straight.

I had seen Jeff on movie sets before.

He meets the girl, he thinks it's the real thing, and when the movie wraps,

gone. Yeah, well, maybe those other times.

But what Jeff and I have is different.

Special.

He's not going to let me down.

Then where is he now?

Love is a many -splendored thing.

It is a joy and a curse.

And it has been the cause of problems between men and women from time

immemorial.

But this is the new generation.

So what happened?

Take chances.

Not exactly. Try it. Did you? Another way. I will.

Just as easy as that.

And dignity.

And if necessary, a sense of humor.

Released from the shackles of history.

We owe a debt of gratitude to the love kittens. I mean the women of

Fairlawn High.

Keep cameras rolling.

Standby effects.

Cue Maxi! Just remember.

There was a time in our life we were taken for granted.

Thank you. Thank you.

Not in my school you don't, sweetheart.

You were terrific.

And Margaret in Kitten with a Whip.

You know, we haven't even talked about the future. Oh, the future's going to be

great. I already got a picture ready to go in Japan.

Mortron's Revenge, combination Rodin, Great Gatsby.

Going to Japan?

It's a good thing I like sushi.

What about me?

You'd be perfect for one of the leads.

Too bad you're not Japanese.

Jeff, what about us?

Hey, let's go, Jeff. Can't start without you.

Look. We'll talk about this later, okay?

You don't want to miss your first rap party.

So, I guess after this, you'll be out there with open arms like the rest of

I, uh, I don't think my nerves can handle that. But I have new respect for

of you who can.

Ah, you aren't nervous, were you?

Why do I have to take things so seriously?

Nobody can change all at once.

You wanted to talk?

Yeah.

But... But?

Can you dance at the same time?

I kind of changed my mind about what I had.

Well, you don't have to say a word.

If it just so happens, I have something to say.

Fascination.

I finally remembered the name.

It's beautiful, sir. Thank you.

But you're thinking this is goodbye?

Mm -hmm.

In love in the afternoon, when Gary Cooper got on that train alone, at the

minute, he knew he couldn't let Audrey go.

Come with me, Jillian.

I know I'm selfish and a little on the crazy side, but it'll be fun.

Sounds like a dream come true.

MGM didn't make him any better.

It's just not my dream, Jeff.

Don't you see? It's just not important to me who starred in Robot Monster or

whether I look like Natalie Wood in The Rain.

When we look at each other, I want you to see me, Jillian Beckett.

I don't even think you know who that is.

I can learn.

Trust me, Jillian.

How could you not like Robot Monster?

Seth, I can't be with you. I can't.

Please, whatever you do, just don't ask me again.

I might just say yes.

I mean it.

You're right. I don't belong in that world.

It's your fun while it lasts, though.

Then why are you crying?

I don't know.

I guess I'm entitled to a few tears.

I mean, if it's good enough for Ingrid Bergman and Casablanca and Amy Lee

and Halloween 2.

You're okay.

You too.

For a tough old Hollywood broad, that is.

Of course, maybe after the reviews come out, I might be persuaded to take

another small role or two. I don't pretend to think of myself as a...

You call that level -headed?

Things are going to be dull around here after this.

It just seems so quiet. That's all I mean. Yeah, it's back to the old

now. Back to the old grindstone, right, guys? Hey, listen.

I hear Coppola's doing a movie downtown. Let's go check it out. Ah, nothing.

Maxie said she'd write.

Yeah, that's up to you. That's cool. They should be in Milwaukee by now. Then

should be getting to class right now.

Hey, what's she doing here?

Maxie!

Maxie!

William Shakespeare said, Do thine own self be true?

But if you've spent your entire life looking every direction except in,

not easy to do.

I know what I'd like to be.

A good actress.

A good person.

A friend.

And if I'm not those things right now, I'm going to make damn sure I end up

way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Woo!

All right, everybody, calm down, calm down.

This is just another performance.

Because, as of today, on the basis of this, shall we say, audition, I would

to welcome Miss Maxine Sharp as a full -time student of the School of the Arts.

Yeah!