Original subtitles

Hey, who is that? Shelly Dombrowski, and she's all mine.

You wrote a song? Oh, thank you, Mrs. Barry Manilow. Hey, hey, hey, hey,

Amatola, what are you doing? If it's right, it will fit.

If it's wrong, it will fit.

A piece of paper doesn't just get up and walk away.

It's the baby.

He's sound asleep.

Look, I'm sure somebody at the school will help you out with Spike.

Yeah, you think you can watch Spike for a while?

Not on your life, Mr. Donlan.

Now you smile.

It's gonna be a long night.

I say that about every edition.

Yeah, yeah. But this time, I really mean it.

You always do.

Ha -ha! Is this my week or what?

Hey, Donald, don't get your hopes up now.

You don't understand, man. You're talking major luck here. Donald,

takes more than luck.

Sort of.

Ha -ha!

Check it out. Check it out. Is somebody up there loving me or what?

You already gave me that autographed picture.

Not this one.

This is the one I'm talking about.

Huh? Whoa.

Hey, I'm in love. Me, too.

Hey, who is that? Shelly Dombrowski, and she's all mine.

Man, you are lucky.

Hey, put your tongues away.

I'm going to go to Lou's.

Remember, cards. Tonight at my place.

All right.

Now, wait. He's got Shelly Dombrowski, and he still wants to play cards with

guys? He must really like us, Jeff. I guess so.

I saved the most important one to last.

This yellow one.

This is a supply requisition form, and it has got to go to the board no later

than Wednesday.

That shouldn't be a problem.

Oh, I hate leaving you like this.

It's your brother's 50th wedding anniversary. You should be there. I

rather be here, working.

Everybody needs a break sometime.

It'll be good for you to get away and recharge your batteries.

My batteries have never been better.

This job is a lot more complicated than it looks. I am perfectly capable of

taking care of myself.

Well, all right, then.

But if you do need me, don't hesitate to call.

Have a nice trip, Mrs. Berg.

Goodbye,

Mrs. Berg.

And have a wonderful trip.

So the word is you're going to be on your own all week.

I don't know why everybody's making such a big deal of it. I can cope.

Now, the requisition.

Always do the most important thing first, right, Mr. Sharofsky?

Something wrong?

No, no.

Everything's under control.

You didn't take that requisition.

You haven't seen a...

yellow form anywhere.

I guess I'll have to be. No, listen, your fault. I came in too soon.

Am I out of tune? No, don't worry about it. Listen, these are first rehearsal

things are bound to be a little bit rough.

Yeah, when you're this bad, things can only get better.

Sure, I can tell this band's going to be great.

You guys, I don't know why we didn't think of this before.

That's because you didn't have me before.

Artists are nothing without great managers.

Well, managers are nothing without artists.

That's right, we're a team.

And I got a surprise for my girls.

Ladies and gentlemen.

introducing the hottest new band to come along in years, the Cuties.

It's a great name, huh?

Uh, well, I don't know.

I'm not sure.

The Cuties.

I guess it could be kind of fun.

I hate it. You're crazy. This name could go platinum. Tell him, Ian.

It's a bit of fluff, isn't it?

What does he know? He's English.

Girls. Girls, girls, trust me. You stick with me, and you'll be so big,

you'll be doing concerts for third world countries.

Think about it.

Who hired him?

I thought you did. You've got to be kidding.

Don't look at me.

I hardly know the guy.

Almost have.

Salute to Tony Orlando.

It's unique.

Unique? Yeah, and that's me.

You know, I also do magic.

Sounds interesting.

Someday I'll have to show you.

I can't wait.

Here you go, doll.

Could I have my check, please?

Oh, forget it. I'll take it out of his salary.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I gotta ask you this, because it's driving me nuts.

Are you the meow girl you know from those commercials?

That's me.

I knew it. This is great. The actual meow girl in my place.

Please, you gotta do it for me just once.

Meow.

I love it. I think I'm a great girl when I'm a kid.

So where were we, huh?

My dance class.

I'm gonna be late.

We still going to movie tomorrow night?

Of course.

Wouldn't you prefer a quiet evening?

Yeah. Chris?

Hey, how's my big sis?

Hiya, Spike. Come over here and give Uncle Chris a smile.

Chris, I've got a problem.

What's wrong?

Leo's in Anchorage on business.

He slipped on some ice. He broke his leg. I've got to fly up there tonight.

Chris, I've tried everyone else. You've got to take care of Spike for me. Hey,

no problem. Spike and me are old buddies. Right, Spike?

Everything he needs is in this bag.

go release from in case anything goes wrong. Hey, what could go wrong?

Well, I made a list.

You can't be too careful with babies.

Spike, sweetie, I want to miss you so much.

Chris, you're a lifesaver. I'll call you, okay?

Hey, don't worry. Spike and me will be fine.

Won't we, Spike?

All right, darling, I see you, and I raise you, too. Keep it down. I raised

more.

Hey, what are you doing, man?

Getting some potato chips. What are you, crazy? Potato chips are too loud.

You're going to wake the baby up. Come on. You're going to wake the baby up.

Guys, guys, guys, can we play poker and forget about the baby?

This pot has my name on it, so let's just play.

Come on, come on.

Darling, get this thing out of here, man.

Psycho, it's your bed.

I broke it two more.

All right. All right.

Come on, come on.

All right.

I owe you two.

And I owe me one, two.

Oh, shoot, man. What are you doing?

How do you expect me to lose my money with that baby? I'm out of here. I

put my chips in, you can't leave.

You walk out that door, you're a dead man.

Oh, wait a minute.

Hey, I don't know nothing about babies, all right? Come on, you can't leave me

alone with him.

Come on,

look here. Here, hold him. Maybe he'll stop crying for you.

There you go.

Hey, there you go.

Hey, he likes me, man.

Take him. Take this kid.

Take him. Okay, Spike, baby, come on. Don't do this to me.

Come on.

What do we do now, Donald?

I don't know. There's two of us and one of him. We'll think of something.

It's going to be a long night.

1968 was a bad year for the Yankees.

But things got even worse in 1969.

That's when the Mick retired.

You know, the biggest regret of my life is that I never got to see Mickey Mantle

put one in the bleachers.

Spike?

Spike?

Thanks for helping That spikes a cute kid kid and he's gorgeous

Donald, if you need any help, call somebody else, all right?

Spike, Spike, Spike.

In 1976, after 12 long years, the Yankees finally won another pennant. And

a team. What a team. We're talking Thurman Munson. We're talking Greg

They can't be. They can't be.

Something wrong, Mr. Darenforth?

Oh, it's a minor hand cramp, that's all.

I had no idea that a principal had so much paperwork.

How come I never see it? Simple.

She forges your signature.

I could use her now.

You never realize how much you miss someone until they're gone.

This is no time for platitudes, Mr. Shirovsky. My hand's about to fall off.

By the way, did you ever find the yellow form that you were looking for?

No, but I've still got another day before it has to go out.

It's got to be in this room.

I mean, a piece of paper doesn't just get up and walk away.

I know it's here.

The question is where.

Is this an album cover or what?

Come on, girls.

You're the cuties.

Let's see some cute.

Jillian Dimples.

Nicole Smile.

Dusty Big Eyes.

Reggie.

I feel so vapid. Good.

This is the 80s. Vapid is in.

I don't think so.

Miltie, this is not us.

Girls.

I don't like what I'm seeing here.

Look, threats are not my style.

But either we do it my way or I walk.

Goodbye, Melty.

Goodbye. You're fired.

I'm not fired. You're fired.

Okay. Okay.

We'll just see how far you get on your own.

Did they sign those contracts?

You are jerking.

We can do anything we want. Good, because I know what I want to do.

Now picture some of these moves.

With the real serious backbeat.

Lots of sequence. And what you have is a real fine imitation of the new edition.

What's wrong with that?

Annie, if you don't mind, this is just between the girls.

Oh, it's okay. He's with me.

Well, he's not with me.

What is he, your first groupie?

Look, Ian knows a lot about rock and roll. And he agrees with me. He thinks

music should be more challenging.

Yeah, like Laurie Anderson.

See, she doesn't pander to her audience. She challenges them.

She's... She's... What?

Different. Yeah.

Different doesn't necessarily mean good.

Well, define good.

Good is fun. Good is what people can enjoy. You know, like the bangle. Look,

still want to know what's wrong with the new edition.

Look, guys, this is getting us nowhere.

I have a suggestion. Let me guess.

Olivia Newton -John?

We don't have to copy anybody.

We're better than that.

Well, aren't we?

Come on, guys.

Let's see some solidarity. Come on.

So we're staying with the name of the cuties, huh? It's not stupid. It's very

commercial. 500 calories is life, lady. It's eat it and weep.

So there I was.

The entire platoon pinned down. Me having to take pork chop fillet. Single

handedly. I wonder where Chris is.

I don't know, but he better get here quick. He'll be down in five minutes.

Anyway, there's 5 ,000 enemy soldiers. One of me. I figured he'd answer just

about even.

Sorry, I'm late.

Norris? No.

Mind if you spike? I'll explain later.

Whoa. What do you think you're doing?

Doing my act. With that?

If I put him down, he cries.

They all do. I don't like crying. It's bad for business. Lou, he's just a baby.

I know that. Don't think I'm not concerned about the kid, but a bowling

no place for him.

I mean, the clatter of all those pins could hurt his tiny eardrums.

I am really sorry about that.

I understand.

Now move it before the kid makes a mess. All right, all right, I'm going. You

want to come along?

With the baby?

Yeah. It'll be fun.

We can play house.

What did I just do?

Hey, Lou.

If you need an act for tonight, I got one. Who?

Our band, the Cuties.

Okay, you're on. But it's a freebie, right?

You got it.

Hey, you have 20 minutes to get ready.

Okay.

You'll do my part.

Yes, again, bright eyes.

Going back, come and go, take the train to work.

When it's done, you'll have some fun. Go back to where you began.

Roll your head, stick your head in the sand.

You and me, you and me, yeah.

Living each day, be there.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Look around your underground, lying in a human heap.

Don't take words too seriously when everything's hot, but hot isn't cheap.

Take your head in the sand.

Living east of Eden.

Don't give up, but give in it.

want to be a star don't worry about personality we'll tell you who

you are stick

your head in the sand

I don't know how I did it, but he's asleep.

I think it's so nice of you helping your sister out.

You must really like kids.

What can I say?

They find me adorable.

So do I.

Just turn it over. Don't worry about it.

What's wrong?

It's really stupid.

I was kind of enjoying it myself.

The baby. I know he can't hear us, but I feel funny.

He's sound asleep.

I'll be right back.

Just take a minute.

Goodbye, Chris.

Goodbye.

Chris, you're a sexy guy.

It isn't working.

When will I see you again?

Call me when Spike graduates high school.

You know, this could have been the greatest night of my life.

What am I telling you for?

All right, all right. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

What was it? Don Mattingly. Don Mattingly. The greatest Yankee first

since Lou Gehrig.

Yeah.

In three years, he won the batting title and MVP award.

Okay, okay, okay.

You like Don Mattingly, huh?

Here's his baseball card right here.

Check it out.

Check it out.

Here.

There you go.

Take me out to the ball game.

Take me out to the crowd.

Find me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.

I don't care if they ever get back.

Hello.

Hello, Chris, it's Eve.

How is he?

Eve, you home?

No, I'm still in Anchorage. We're snowed in at the airport.

Does he miss me? Is he eating okay?

Snowed in.

You're kidding.

I wish.

Is he having any trouble sleeping?

No, no. He calls logs like a pro.

I miss him so much.

Yeah, well, he misses you too. So when are you coming home?

Hopefully in 48 hours.

Terrific. It might be 24.

That's better.

Of course. Someone said we might be stuck here for a week. A week?

Look, Chris, there's a line of people waiting for the phone.

Make sure you kiss them.

You will even...

Miss Grant.

Oh, good morning, Christopher.

Hi, bud.

How you doing?

Oh, let me hold him for a minute, Chris.

Oh, you better not, because he cries for everyone but me.

Boy, give me this baby. Be quiet. All right. How you doing?

That's amazing.

He's the cutest little thing. Oh, I wish I had one just like him.

Well, you can have him if you want.

I mean, just for a while. You know, that part I was up for.

Call back in a day.

Oh, Chris, I wish I could help you out, but I've got classes to teach today.

Look, I'm sure somebody at the school will help you out with Spike.

Yeah, well, I hope you're right.

I found it!

I found it!

Ah, yes, the infamous yellow form. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Now it's just a matter of filling it out and... Sending it off to the board by

tomorrow. The only thing you... What exactly is a non -reusable

instructional resource?

Beats me.

Miss Bergen?

I'm afraid she's still on vacation.

Oh, because I thought she'd watch Spike for me.

Ah, I have to call the board of Ed.

This forum's going to be a little late.

Mr. Sharofsky, you think you could not on your life, Mr. Donovan, these hands

were made for Debussy, not diapers.

I'm sure there's somebody who will take care of Spike, please.

It isn't working for me.

Reggie, what are you doing? This song is so slight.

It is not slight. It's commercial.

You two are so tired.

Come on, you guys. We've got to decide on which song to use for the video.

Hey, you guys.

What about my song?

You wrote a song? Yeah. You got any objections?

Can't be any worse than Reggie's. Oh, thank you, Mrs. Barry Manilow.

Reggie, you are so weird.

Come on, you guys. We've got to make a decision.

She's absolutely right.

Ian, stay out of this.

I never thought I'd be saying this, but I am beginning to miss Miltie. Did I

hear my name?

Go away.

Girls, girls, girls.

You don't think I know what's going on here?

The problem is you are four very distinct personalities.

You got that right.

We need someone to hold you together.

Now, if you'll just sign these contracts, I can... Nice try, Miltie.

Yeah, but we can get by on our own.

We've got a video to shoot, and I know just the song. Oh, yeah, you think you

know the song.

Oh, girl, please.

How come they don't like me, but they like you?

They don't like me, Eva.

Women. Go figure.

Hey, fellas, what's happening?

Hey. Where's the girls at?

You just missed them. They're thrashing some problems up with the band.

Oh, because I needed to talk to them.

Well, can we help?

I... Yeah, you think you could watch Spike for a while?

A bike ride?

Yeah, sure. Leave him over in the corner.

What are you, nuts?

In the corner.

I'll show someone to look after the little bloke for you.

People keep saying that.

Don't worry, Spike, buddy. We'll find someone.

Hey, Matula, what's going on, man?

Hey, Tomlin.

What are you doing here? I'm trying to get to my car back, but I can't find

anyone to watch Spike. What about me?

You do that for me, man?

You're the best little buddy I've ever had.

What's up?

Hey, I'll be back as soon as I can. Hey, take your time. Me and Spike get along

just fine.

Right? You ready?

Okay. What you call, baby?

Hey, hey, hey. I'm a toy. What are you doing?

That's a baby, not a football.

Yeah, I know.

It's just in case he spits up.

Oh, man. Give it to me.

Hey, come on, Chris. You don't mind.

You don't mind.

used to carry me like that.

He only dropped me once.

Can I go to lunch, Mr. D 'Arnaud?

Mr.

D 'Arnaud.

You know, Gertrude Berg is an amazing woman.

That pesky yellow form.

I thought you were going to call the board.

I did.

They've already received a copy.

Gertrude Berg sent it to them. I'm not surprised.

I'm beginning to think I don't fully appreciate that woman.

I realized a long time ago that we could not get along without her.

I agree.

How did she know that I would lose that form?

I hate it. I can't believe we're doing this now.

Come on, Reggie. I won the coin flip.

Don't you guys ever stop?

let me. Oh, if you just let me.

Just let me tell you what

He's been known to do.

That'll work. No, no, no. I got a better idea. Why don't you just come back

tomorrow, huh?

Without the fire.

Hey, look.

Can I hang around till you stop crying, please?

Please.

Sorry, but I just don't have the time.

Why don't you call back up? I don't want to talk about it. I just want to go

home. You can't go there.

Get out of my way, man.

You can't go home.

I found this on your door, man. It's from your landlord.

Didn't you know you weren't allowed to have babies in your apartment?

What's going on, man?

Let me put it to you this way.

Starting to rain.

You have a baby in your arms.

And you've been locked out.

Man, I can't believe it.

I can't even sleep in my own apartment.

I lost my girl.

I probably lost my chance for stardom. And it's all because of you.

Now you smile.

Now you're quiet.

Where were you when I needed you?

That's it.

That's it. From now on, I'm no longer your uncle.

All right.

All right, all right, all right.

Okay, come on.

Morning, Mr.

Dyrsport. Mrs. Burke, you're back a day early.

Oh, boy, am I glad. I didn't want to leave in the first place.

Uh, any problems while I was gone?

None that I can think of.

Well, then, I guess I'll...

Just go about my business.

Mrs. Berg.

Thank you.

For what?

For everything.

Well, here it is, the cuties' first music video. Yeah, once that baby is

the cuties are going go.

I don't know, they get so many tapes.

Maybe it's not what they're looking for.

Oh, now you bring this up.

Well, it couldn't hurt to do another one, you know. So soon?

Whose song did we use?

Mine. Mine. Yours.

Yeah, I wrote one, too. It's called I'm So Happy.

I can't go through this again. Sounds like L to me.

You know, I hate to admit it, but I think Ian's right.

Maybe we're just not cut out to be a band.

Right.

Nicole, I really like you. It's just your music I can't stand.

I feel the same way about you, Reggie.

And your music.

Well, I guess that's it then.

Finally, I can do my own stuff.

You know, Reggie, now that it's all over, you're not that weird.

Yes, I am.

Wonderful. We're all friends again.

Hey, you're getting along. I'm so relieved.

Prepare to be dazzled.

Presenting the Cuties T -shirt.

Great.

It's too late, Miltie.

What, they sold the merchandising rights already?

No. It was a real cop.

This is some kind of sick joke, right?

Are you serious?

Girls! What does it mean when he chews his wrist? He's thirsty. Give him the

bottle. It's in there.

Okay, hold on. Got that? You got it?

I got it. Do you got it? Come on, you two knuckleheads should be able to watch

baby for a couple of hours now, all right? All right, all right. Listen, you

better get going, man, because you're not going to make it to those callbacks.

No, I got a good shot for this.

I'm not going to miss it for anything.

Get going or you won't make it to the callbacks.

All right.

Gesundheit. He sneezed.

Get going, get going.

I didn't do anything.

What are you, the expert or something?

What am I doing? Spike!

He's sick, right?

As you know. Hey, I'm his uncle. I know these things.

Hey, look, the school nurse said he has a little fever, but he's going to be

fine, okay? So don't worry.

What about your callback, man?

Someone else could have the part.

I got something better.

Right, Spike, buddy?

Thanks,

fellas. Anytime.

Hey, old number seven. Ever tell you I knew Mickey Mantle?

Not now, Lou.

What's with Ward Cleveland? Have you ever given him trouble?

He's just coming to pick up a spike.

That's great. You're probably getting rid of the kid.

Yeah.

I, uh, thought you'd be happy.

So did I.

It's amazing how the little gremlins grow on you, huh?

You look like you survived.

Piece of cake.

Oh, look at my handsome boy.

Did your Uncle Chris buy you this nice outfit?

The little guy's a real hall of fame. Thanks again.

Oh, look. Spike wants to say goodbye.

See you around, Spike.

I'll call you.

Bye, buddy.

See you later.

Finally, we'll have some peace and quiet, huh?

Peace and quiet ain't everything, Amatulo.

You'll understand when you have a kid of your own.