Original subtitles

What I'm saying is somebody's trying to sabotage the school, Donovan. We're

doomed. All of us. Doomed.

Is there anybody out there?

Matulo, you're delirious.

No, I'm not. I'm Sherlock Holmes.

I'll take

those papers. Two weeks from today, the School of the Arts.

Will be permanently closed

of pain.

of me and what's unsolving most crimes is elementary

not a problem but once I must

admit I met my mental match more deadly than

away from everybody don't you be

There beats a heart of steel.

As sharp as any blade.

Don't let it cut you.

The spider spins his web.

You're the victim.

And now the trap is dead.

You're really in danger.

Great. Great. I'll take it. Great for today. Pick it up tomorrow.

Everybody was terrific.

Danny.

Danny. You would have made Sherlock Holmes proud.

And Christopher, what can I say? You are a Dr. Watson. Well,

Mr. Huntsman, you're directing a policy yourself.

I know I'm no Miss Grant, but I am kind of one. Well, keep up the good work.

So we're coming together, huh?

Yeah, everybody but me.

Come on.

What are you talking about? Mr.

Hunsticker said you were great. Well, Mr. Hunsticker's a hygiene teacher

in for Miss Grant, man.

You know, I'm just Danny Amatulo from the Bronx.

So what's wrong with being Danny Amatulo from the Bronx, huh? Nothing, man, but

he's no home.

I mean, darling, didn't you ever want to be someone who's a million miles away

from yourself?

You know, someone who's actually greater than you?

No one's greater than me, man.

You know, I couldn't help overhearing, Armadillo.

And I couldn't agree with you more.

You're too crass to play Holmes.

You, uh, lack savoir -faire.

You've got no panache.

Do us all a favor, will you, and drop out of the show?

Miltie, how about I do you a favor and I drop your lip?

Grow up, Sherlock.

Holmes never got the better of Moriarty, and you're never gonna get the better

of me?

I hate that guy.

Yeah, he's a punk.

But you gotta admit, man, he makes a great Moriarty.

The most ruthless villain ever.

Filming his perfect typecast, and the dude's just playing himself.

Kate, baby, talk to me.

Leave her alone, Miltie. Stay out of her life. She doesn't want to know you.

Deal with it, sweetheart.

There's a special chemistry between us. I think we ought to investigate the

possibilities. What do you say?

You make me ill, Miltie. You make my skin crawl. You give me nightmares.

See what I'm saying? You do feel something for me.

On purpose.

No, I didn't milk you, but actually, I wish we did. One of these days, then,

with Zillow.

Ow!

What happened?

Oh, I was wiping my sleeve and something cut me here.

Let me check that out.

Metal slivers.

John, they're all over your jacket.

Yeah. Where'd they come from?

And that busted pipe.

How'd you know that, Amos? That was great.

Simple deduction, darling.

This way, gentlemen. I'll give you a grand tour of

the building. Now, the hallway, which you've seen, doesn't really need too

Remember, we're not asking for charity, but the lowest bid will probably get the

job. If I give you cheap labor and shoddy materials, you'll be in the same

five years from now.

You get what you pay for, Mr. Derren. I know that, Mr. Harwood, and no one wants

to compromise less than myself, but if you want my advice... I know, think

cheap. You got it.

I think the lights went out. You think?

I know the lights went out. We're in the dark, right? It's not a real surprise.

Don't panic, don't panic. We do have an emergency system.

Yeah, great.

Well, at least we know that's working.

Does this happen often?

Occasionally.

Hey, Daddy. What's going on?

Filthy, what are you doing here? I go to school here.

I know that, you idiot.

Come on, get away from me. You're going to blow everything.

Oh, yeah, sorry, Daddy.

Dad, stop calling me that.

All right, sorry.

Mr.

Derrick.

You know they've got a father?

Yeah, but why do they want to keep it a secret?

Donovan, if you had a son like that, would you want people to know about it?

Hey, what's the problem?

You stepped in a bucket of water? No kidding, Sherlock.

It's a weird lady, Donovan.

She weirds, man. She's just cleaning the floor.

In the dock?

He is weird.

Oh, no, there were just three estimates.

Well, I'm no expert. That's where I called in three contractors to bid the

Give you fellas down at the board some choices.

He's groveling. That means we're in trouble.

Relax, Mr. Hansker. We're all concerned.

Well, I don't want to pressure you people, but we sure would like some

We don't even have our electricity back on yet.

While you're at it, see if you can get me a music library.

We're operating on just the emergency lighting.

You're all whistling in the dark. Trust me on this, they're going to stab us in

the back.

Now, wait a minute, Mr.

Swoboda.

Don't you think that's a bit drastic?

What did I tell you? We're doomed. All of us.

Doomed. Please, Mr. Hunsaker, now is not the time to lose our heads.

If not now, when?

I'll let you know.

Well, I know that, sir, but that's...

Well, I just think... Yes, yes, I do.

All right.

All right.

If that's what you want.

So what's the skinny?

They screwed up, didn't they?

Attention, everyone.

May I have your attention, please? This is Principal Derenforth. I have an

important message.

is in desperate need of repair.

A few days ago, the Board of Education agreed upon a renovation program and

instructed me to get bids from several general contractors.

Today, the Board has informed me that all the contractors' estimates are too

high.

The Board also feels that the building is unsafe and beyond repair.

Therefore,

It is my sad duty to tell you that two weeks from today,

the School of the Arts will be permanently closed.

Since when do you play the violin?

I can't.

I mean, I don't even know why I'm trying to learn how to play this. There ain't

going to be no school to play it in anyway, right? Sure there is, man.

just moving us to another building.

So where's this new building they're moving us to anyway?

We're on 76th Street, where the old vocational school used to be.

Gee, I feel kind of sad.

I wonder how long this building has been here.

Who knows?

I wonder what they're going to do with the old place.

Hey, they're going to level this big mother and put up a high -rise parking

garage. That's awful.

That's progress.

Don't you care at all?

I care about you.

Go out with me.

I'd rather die.

How do you know?

Try it first and then decide.

You're changing the subject. Isn't there something that we can do to save the

school?

How are we going to save the school?

It's already been decided, right?

I guess so.

Funny.

What? Looks like that pipe's been sawed clean.

Weird.

Real weird.

You want to tell me what's going on, Amatulo?

Look at those metal sliver things all over your jacket.

Yeah. They're all over the floor.

You know, you're right.

This pipe has been thawed clean.

Hey, what are you kids doing?

Hey, Ralph.

Stay away from this pipe.

Ralph, we're just looking. Looking? Looking at what?

It's a busted pipe, that's all it is.

Ralph, relax. What's the big deal, huh? The big deal is you're moving in on my

custodial turf.

Now, you don't see me singing and dancing, do you?

Stay away from my plumbing. No problem.

No problem.

I'll tell you one thing about that guy.

He's got passion for plumbing.

He cares.

A little too much.

So what are you saying?

What I'm saying is somebody's trying to sabotage the school, Donovan. For what?

Manhattan real estate.

This property must be worth millions, Donovan. Who would do a thing like that?

Who had access to the pipes, the heating, the wiring?

Ralph, the cathodian.

But he wouldn't bother. He can't buy property like this.

Can he?

Jonathan, did it ever occur to you that maybe someone else is working with him?

Then you're saying he's one of the perpetrators.

I didn't say that.

Then what are you saying?

Wish Sherlock Holmes was here.

Where do you go in the dead of night?

Better have a weapon when a killer comes inside in the night.

Is there anybody out there?

Shadows on the street and shadows on the wall.

Beating in my heart if there's anyone at all who is out there.

Is there anybody out there?

What do you do when the daylight breaks?

Still haven't found him, whatever it takes in the darkness.

Is there anybody out there?

Spinning, sliding, don't know where to go.

Must be something wrong, you tell me.

What's this? What's going on?

We're rehearsing for the show, Mr. Durenforth. There's no heat in the

auditorium. What about the rehearsal hall? The radiator's bucked. The

hall is full of steam. That's why we had to come out here.

Watch this.

Come on, Johnny, get me out there.

The lights are on.

Oh, they went out again.

Mr. Jones, but you always take the obvious.

Yes, I do. You're too payish.

Thank you.

I just

want to

tell you... Thank you. I appreciate it.

Hey,

next time, okay?

Take care.

What are you making at?

Just what I thought.

Ralphie's been sabotaging the school for Milty and his old man. I mean, it's the

perfect setup, making a janitor do all the dirty work.

How can we prove that?

First, we gotta find out what's in the envelope.

My bet is the payoff money.

We could sneak in here tonight and check out Ralph's locker.

Right.

And we gotta get someone working on the inside.

Someone who can get close to Milty and his old man and pump him for

It's a great idea.

Who? No way.

Look, I will not go out with Miltie Horowitz. You're our only hope.

Come on, Miltie likes you. It's not my fault.

Kate, the very future of the school is depending on you.

I just don't want to be alone with that guy.

Don't worry. One of us will be with you at all times. For the school, Kate.

Would you do it for the school? Our futures are at stake here.

All right.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Just ask him some questions.

You know, pump him some information and find out if I'm his father's business

deal.

I don't know if I'm going to be very good at this. What kind of questions do

want me to ask?

Ask if his father's still in and out of any other school. Or if his father's

ever been arrested.

Phil Miltie, has your father ever been arrested?

I don't think so.

He's never committed any major crimes or anything?

Not that I know of.

What did you think of the food?

Oh, it was good.

Tell me, uh, has your father ever torn down any other schools?

Babe, I keep telling you, my old man thinks I'm a jerk.

I don't know anything about his work.

Thank you.

Yo, Cabby.

Once around the park.

What are you closing the curtains for? You're killing the romance.

No.

Melty, when I'm with you, I want to shut out the rest of the world.

So, Melty, tell me about your father's business deal.

What do we do now?

Hold on, Ford.

I'm going to go check out Rat Block, okay?

Does your dad have any dealings with major underworld crime figures?

You know, you're really beautiful.

You're the most beautiful girl I've ever been out with.

Thank you, Miltie.

Has the IRS ever investigated Miracle Construction Company?

Not that I know of.

I mean, has your dad ever been indicted or anything like that?

I just want you to know, Kay Riley, that if I die tomorrow, going out with you

tonight has made it all worthwhile.

Danny. Danny, you all right, buddy?

Danny.

Who's Danny?

You are.

Get a hold of yourself, Watson.

Moriarty's father and the blind violinist, they killed Ralph.

Then they knocked me out.

Matulo, you're delirious.

No, I'm not. I'm Sherlock Holmes.

Stop kidding around, all right? I never kid about murder.

Come see for yourself.

The body's right over...

It's gone.

Not only has Moriarty's father killed Ralph, but he's stolen the body as well.

Let me get this straight. You get hit on the head, and now you think you're

Sherlock Holmes.

The school's closed.

Maybe if you get hit again, you'll remember who you are.

Secret partnership.

Now, murder?

Murder?

Don't you think we should call the cops?

Without a corpus delicti, they'd never believe us.

The game's afoot, Watson.

From now on, we don't rest until the case has been solved.

Would you stop hitting me on the head, Watson? It's most annoying.

Right. Look, I got a great idea.

How about we go get a brain scan?

Inspector Lestrade, how like you to turn up after the dirty deed has been done.

Don't you think you're carrying us a little bit too far, Danny? Yeah, I mean,

you're not really Sherlock Holmes.

I beg to differ.

You just purchased a parrot.

You spent the evening at Coney Island where you had a hot dog with mustard

Wow, how did you know that?

You have sand on your shoes, a green feather on your shoulder, and mustard on

your tie.

Hey,

that's pretty amazing.

Another thing, your parrot has a vitamin deficiency.

Did you tell him about the parrot?

Milton's got another envelope.

We must advise the plan to get it.

Something intricate.

Cunning yet fun.

Maybe we should get Kate to steal it.

That's it.

My boy, you're brilliant.

Brilliant.

Maybe I am one.

People, you're not listening. I'm afraid this building is history and there's

nothing we can do about it. We are not giving up so easily, Mr. Dernforth. What

we need is a really creative form of protest.

Mrs. Berg, what's going on out there?

Oh, it's just Mr. Hunsicker being creative.

Mr. Hunsicker? What's he doing?

He's standing on the ledge of the roof.

He's not going to jump, is he?

someone 25 years then one day you see them in a whole new light

come down from there hell no we won't go maybe we ought

to try to talk him down really i was just thinking of joining him don't you

I don't care who you guys think you are, but I know Miltie Horowitz, and he's no

crook. He's a nice guy, and I like him.

See, Watson?

She's fallen under his diabolical spell.

Would you turn that cassette player up? You're driving me nuts, damn it, Tulo.

What cassette player?

Look, my dear, you're the only one who can help us get that envelope.

Okay, I'll get the envelope.

But only because I know it's going to prove Miltie's innocence.

Excellent, Watson.

We have the rope around Moriarty's neck.

Next step is to tighten the noose.

That was good, Miltie. You're not drooling as much.

Well, hey, all I needed was a little practice.

inspiration, a little magic.

It's you, Kate.

See you, Mel B.

Wish you wouldn't be so nice.

I'll get it.

You will.

You did it, Watson.

It's all here, Watson.

Ledger sheets documenting weekly payoffs to Ralph.

Assessment papers on school property dated over a year ago.

You must have been planning this thing for a while, Holmes.

You called me Holmes.

You do believe.

I think I'm starting to.

I'll take those papers.

Come on, hand them over.

That's a good boy.

Getting tired of you kids poking your head around where you don't belong.

Now I'm warning you, cut it out or you'll end up like Ralph the Custodian.

You're right, you did kill Ralph.

How did I ever doubt you?

You're lucky we didn't meet a similar fate.

What's that?

What?

Hey, fellas.

How you been?

Long time no see.

Oh, my.

Think I'm looking at a dead man.

Steady, Watson.

Look, fellas, I had to pretend to be dead.

I was the only thing linking Horowitz and his sabotage against the school.

I was afraid he was going to kill me, so I beat him to it.

So it was Horowitz who hit me on the head.

Sure, it was Horowitz who socked you, but I was too busy playing dead to do

anything about it.

We gotta go to the cops. No, no, no cops.

It'll be my word against his. I wouldn't stand a chance against his lawyers.

Hey, where are you going? I'm disappearing into the fog.

So what do we do now?

For once, my old friend, I'm at a loss.

What do you mean, loss?

Don't you see?

They destroyed the evidence.

Ralph refuses to go to Scotland Yard.

We're probably gonna lose the school.

You'll think of something, Holmes.

You always do.

Students, students, what is this moping? We're not finished yet.

Look, here comes Mrs. Berg.

She will not be moved.

Put me down.

Put me down this instant.

Face it, Mrs. Berg.

The battle's over and we lost.

Well, some of us fought. The good fight.

Well, I did my best.

You copped out.

Oh, yeah?

Well, if it wasn't for me, you'd still be in Bellevue.

He would, you know.

They were ready to put him in a padded cell. They had the straitjacket ready

everything. And his size, too.

Oh, no.

How's it going?

Any deductions?

Yeah, just one.

I'm not Holmes.

Danny, I'm a tour for the Bronx, man.

Yo, I can't even play the violin no more.

Well, if you're not Holmes, I guess I'm not Watson.

Guess not.

You know, for a while there, I thought I was.

Gotta admit, it was kind of fun, though, right?

Yeah, for me, too.

You know, I felt like I was somebody, though, you know?

Like I was important. Like me and you.

We could do anything together.

Me too, Donna.

But no more.

Where is the missing one?

The missing one?

Where?

is a missing person that I've just got to find now just how

long they have been gone I can't say at this time I glanced outside

my window surprisingly to see the reflection of

a broken man who looks somewhat like me I'm trying to find

What shall I do when nothing seems to follow through?

In me, try to find my whereabouts. I'm turning blue.

But wait, I may have found a clue.

My whereabouts, somewhere in yesterday with you.

Inside an album of happy photographs To try to

match the feeling in the joy I used to have I traveled through

the moments that held a special place But every time

what came to mind is that smile upon your face

to follow through in me try to find

my whereabouts I'm turning blue but wait I may have

found a clue my whereabouts somewhere in

yesterday with you

Even if you're not Holmes and I'm not Watson, something's still wrong. I just

can't put my finger on it, you know?

It's like somebody made this whole thing up.

Made up?

Made... Makeup!

That's it, Donovan! We solved it!

Yo, Chris Donovan and Danny Amatulo have...

You can't prove that.

Don't be so sure.

Can we prove it, Amatillo?

I think so.

Why don't we start off with the so -called murder of Ralph?

He already told us that, Amatillo.

That's right. But what he didn't tell us is what he left out.

So when I found Ralph's body, I was in such a hurry to get help that I didn't

even see him get up off the floor.

And while I was trying to open up the door, that's when Ralphie came behind me

and hit me over the head.

Wait a minute, Danny.

You said it was Mr. Horowitz you saw when you were lying on the ground.

I only thought it was Horowitz, which is exactly what Ralphie here wanted me to

think. I see that all the years you've been at the School of the Arts, it

been a waste, huh? I mean, you learned a thing or two about makeup, didn't you,

Ralphie boy?

Go on, go on. I'm listening.

When I was unconscious, that's when Ralphie here made himself up to look

Artie Horowitz.

Didn't you, huh, Ralph?

Hey, you ought to be a writer, Amatullo. What an imagination.

Is it imagination?

I suppose I'm imagining the same thing the night in the fog when you posed as

Artie Horowitz. You know, I didn't know it then.

But the makeup on your collar gave you away, Ralphie boy.

Tired of you kids poking around where you don't belong.

Oh, wait a minute, Danny.

Cut it out or you'll end up like Ralph, the custodian. He just left us as Ralph.

Seconds later, he come back as Artie.

Watch the flashback, Donovan.

He had makeup on half of his face.

You think you're so smart, don't you?

Well, then tell me then, why would I do this? The same reason you planted those

envelopes in Miltie's locker? I mean, you knew that Donovan and me were

following down here. And you wanted us to think that Artie was giving you

And that he was the one responsible for the destruction of the school.

Why didn't I think of that?

I'll tell you why. Because it doesn't make any sense. That's why.

It was a red herring diamond.

I think it stinks.

There's just one more piece of the puzzle that's missing.

Let me make it easy for you.

Artie Horowitz is my brother.

I hate him. And I hate everything he stands for.

Why? Because I could have been a brilliant actor.

If it weren't for the fact that my older brother Artie kept telling me over and

over and over again, you're a bum. You got no talent.

If I were you, I'd look for some more security.

Security. And here I am after 30 years of playing it safe. And what do I got to

show for it?

Nothing! Hey, I'm sorry, Ralph.

Maybe you could join the drama club at Sing Sing.

Come on, Don. We got people to talk to.

So fast, Amatulo.

Watch out!

Danny.

Danny. Danny.

You've been out for over 20 minutes, buddy.

Hey, did he get away?

Did Ralph get away?

Ralph's right here.

How you holding up, kid?

He's the bad guy.

What are you talking about, Amatulo? He's getting you ice packs and

Is he all right? Are you all right, Amatulo?

I don't know yet. You're lucky, I'll tell you that.

One of these pipes fell and hit you on the head and knocked you cold. If it

hadn't been for Ralph here, God knows what would have happened.

How's the kid?

He's fine.

Artie, your brother Ralph is trying to ruin you.

Brother? I don't have a brother.

I'm an only child.

You mean that nobody's trying to sabotage the school?

Hardly. Ralph here's been spending night and day trying to fix the wiring, the

plumbing, you name it.

Trying to fix it?

No offense, Ralphie, but as a janitor, you don't make it.

What can I tell you?

I'm not mechanically inclined.

Luckily for us, Mr. Horowitz has agreed to do the school at cost.

Because his son, Miltie, is a student here.

You all right, Danny?

Is that jerk okay?

Oh, psycho doesn't mean that.

He's really sweet.

Well, thank you, babe.

What about the envelope with the money in it?

Well, my father was just paying Ralph to do some repair work on another building

of his. I just delivered it.

Melty, I thought I'd never say this.

So I won't.

Good. And I won't either.

Now we got a show to do. You think Holmes can take Moriarty or what?

God,

I love the theater.

This is what I was born to do.

You know, Mr. Dierenfeld, hygiene is not my first love.

Are you trying to tell me something?

Make me a director.

I want to direct for the rest of my life.

Claude, get a hold of yourself.

Please. Mr. Dierenfeld.