All language subtitles for S03E17 - Sheer Will

What your friend has is called acute
lymphoblastic leukemia.

And it's doing its very best to kill
him. Because I need to know why you're

letting your only son die without
putting up a fight.

This wasn't going to be fine. No, you're
not. You're going to die.

You got big dreams.

dancing the lead in the next production
number mr danny amatubo

that's not funny i'm not laughing you're
not joking no i'm not

oh that is cruel no no people you need
to know what's going on out there in the

real world now i know most of you are in
this class studying to be professional

dancers but when you get out there some
big time athlete who's made headlines

winning gold medals in the Olympics or
something like that. Well, a producer is

going to take him with all of his
headlines and make him the star of the

Then he's going to come along and hire
you guys to do what?

To make him look good.

That's right, exactly.

Now, Danny, I hope I'm not bruising your
ego, baby, by telling you that you will

never be a threat to Misha Barishtakov.

Life goes on.

And life goes on, and you're going to go
on in this show, and you're going to be

great, and it's going to be your number
from top to bottom.

Now, you guys are going to do most of
the hard work.

And if anybody has any problem with
that, well, baby, turn in your tights

because that's the way it's going down.

Boy, get on out of here.

All right, people, hit the showers.

Don't worry, I'm going to take care of
you, Attula.

Yeah, I bet you are.

Attula!

Congratulations on being a star.

Come on, throw me my bag.

Attula got the ball.

Technically, it's still in the air.

Come on, give me a boost.

Come on.

Hi.

Come on, Danny, hi. I can't, Schwartz.

I almost got it. Schwartz, I gotta let
you go.

You okay?

I'm fine.

I know I'm not that heavy.

I must have pulled something in dance
class.

Well, why don't we take you down to the
nurses? Why don't we not?

Hey,

Schwartz, I'm just a little nervous
about this dance thing, that's all.

No, you're not.

Annie, are you okay?

Hey, Bruton, I feel like working on the
song tonight.

Do you mind?

Well, if you're not into working on the
song, then what are you doing here?

I decided to go for a walk after school.

I ended up here.

Habit, I guess.

It's a pretty heavy -duty walk.

I caught a movie.

Oh, yeah? Which one?

for if you were okay.

Hey, Bruno, don't worry about me. I'm
okay.

Just do me a favor.

Name it. Just play the piano.

Danny, Danny, look, if you want to talk
about it, man, I'm here.

What's the problem? You're a piano
player, so just play the piano.

There's no problem.

Anything special?

Just something nice and easy.

in Madison.

Paul says hello.

Well, you don't own him, Holly.

It's hard to own what gets stolen.

Listen, I am not looking for a fight. So
I'll stay out of your way and you stay

out of mine.

this morning.

You know, I stayed up all night last
night thinking about this number. When I

don't get any sleep, I get real creative
and real mean.

So let me see some rows.

Ah, Danny Amatulo, front and center.

All right, people, now we're going to
take it at a tempo, about right.

One.

Danny, I know I said I didn't sleep, but
sweetheart, looks like you didn't even

lie down.

I'm fine, Miss Grant. Let's go.

That wasn't a question.

I can't afford to lose my star performer
right now.

Why don't you run down and let the nurse
take a look at you, see what's going

on? But, Miss Grant, I'm okay.

That was an order, Danny Amatulo.

Doris Schwartz, honey, come here.

Take him on down to the nurse. Make sure
he gets there.

Go on, honey.

Come on, you faker. Let's go.

Amatulo, heal.

She's right, you know. You have been
looking like something out of a Brian De

Palma movie for the last couple of
weeks.

You know, maybe you ought to think about
laying off the cafeteria food program.

Danny, what is it?

Danny!

Don't. What? Don't what?

Darling, you're going to get help. Don't
do that.

What's wrong?

Help me up. I don't want to know the
city.

Darling, I'm sick.

Danny, let me take you to the nurse's
office.

Oh, you got to get me to a doctor.

Danny, you're scaring me. What's wrong?

I'm sick, Schwartz. I'm real sick.

Danny, what's wrong?

Here.

There's a fire in there somewhere. Go
outside and get a cab.

I'm going to go get my coat, okay? I'll
meet you at the top of the stairs.

I might need your help getting down
doors.

Danny, what's the matter?

Schwartz, just get the cab.

If you're his sister, why is your last
name Schwartz?

That's because I'm his half -sister.
That's why our last names are different.

I think it's closer to say you're a well
-meaning kid who's worried about a

friend.

Is that such a terrible thing?

No, it's a very good thing.

Hooray, hooray!

Now, would you get out of my office and
let me get some work done?

Unless you're family, I cannot tell you
a thing.

Yeah, but... Goodbye, Miss Schwartz.

Dr.

Warner, one in radiology, please.

Dr. Warner? I know what oncology means.

You do, huh?

It's on the directory downstairs.

It says that's what you specialize in.

Cancer? Well, maybe you'll be able to
get through to him.

Don.

What your friend has is called acute
lymphoblastic leukemia.

And it's doing its very best to kill it.

Want my pickle?

No.

Me neither.

Want half my sandwich?

You know, not eating won't help you,
Doris.

I know.

This whole thing is so weird.

I mean, I understand what you told me.

And I'm really glad you told me.

But it just doesn't seem real.

It's like I'm rehearsing a play.

I just don't believe it.

Neither does Danny.

What do you mean?

You see, Doris, what Danny has at this
stage is very treatable.

If we could get him into remission, we
could do a bone marrow transplant, and

he'd have a real good shot at leading a
normal life.

That's fabulous.

Except if we can't get him into
remission, he won't help us.

He lost me again.

You see, medicine can do today what it
couldn't do ten years ago.

Couldn't even do two years ago.

But we still need what we've always
needed. The patient on our side.

We need Danny just as much as he needs
us.

I don't understand.

What, has he got some kind of attitude
problem?

Well, he's not exactly against us, but
he's not with us.

He's been ignoring the problem for
months now.

Missing treatment sessions.

Well, it happens all the time,
unfortunately.

Women who ignore lumps in their breasts.

Men who go for years without a physical.

Just ignore it and it will all go away.

Let me tell you, that's a very deadly
fantasy.

Why do people do that?

All sorts of reasons.

In Danny's case, I'm hoping that you'll
help us find out.

What are you looking at?

I want to remember you.

How come?

So I'll remember you in about three
decades' time when they ask me to cut

open and take out a lung.

Have a nice day.

Let's go.

Now you've done it.

Schwartz. Hey, don't Schwartz me.

Back at school, you had me a little
scared.

Ten minutes ago, you had me upset and
maybe sad.

But now you've got me ticked off, and
that was a big mistake.

This wasn't going to be fine. No, you're
not. You're going to die.

You talked to Dr. Pettibon. You're
right, I was.

And she told me you got your big fat
head stuck in the sand instead of

ammunition to fight this thing. I don't
want to talk about it. It's not a good

enough answer.

How dare you pull a stunt like this
behind my back?

It's not a stunt, Schwartz.

I know it's not.

Beat this thing.

And you're going to have lots of help.

Uh -uh.

Uh -uh, nobody.

Schwartz, don't you tell nobody about
this, you hear me?

I promise.

Okay, then you answer one question.

I ain't making no deal. Then I ain't
either, and you need the deal more than

do. Fine.

What's the question?

Pettibon says you've been missing about
half your appointments.

How come?

Why aren't you fighting this thing?

I don't know.

You know, sometimes...

Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth the
effort.

I'm sorry. You're going to have to leave
now.

We made a deal.

Now you tell me about this, okay?

Deals. Thanks.

Hey.

There's a lot of that going around.

You're going to feel a little pinprick.

And then a little tiny burning
sensation.

Then about three hours to heave my guts
up.

How I spent my summer vacation.

Doris, we need you. Not now, Helen. Wait
a minute. You haven't had our plan yet.

We are attempting to avoid a world war
here. Not interested.

Doris, how about this?

Michelle gets Mondays, Wednesdays, and
alternate Fridays. And I get them on

Tuesdays, Thursdays, and alternate
Saturdays. Is that fair? what holly get

of my way you don't understand i checked
cosmo raw silk the color beige and

sharing are all in this month holly get
out of my way i'm not kidding you're the

one telling people to always be adults
and make adult decisions here we come up

with a comment

problem here, don't we? I mean, there
are people starving all over the world

rotting in prisons and dying of terrible
diseases. But poor old widow Rutton

knows Holly is such a big girl because
she figured out a time -sharing plan for

her latest wake -up call. You know, of
course, I always knew you had a big

as big as the Mississippi, but I didn't
know it was as dirty.

but I made a deal.

I realize this isn't Miss Sparrow's
school for young ladies, but we're not

staging halftime at the roller derby
either.

Mrs. Berg, I want to schedule a
counseling session for Schwartz and Miss

right after school.

Oh, you can't do that, I'm afraid,
because Mr. Sharofsky has the counseling

after school.

He and Danny are Matulo's father.

Mrs. Berg, I have Mr. Sharofsky next
period. I'll give him the message.

Thank you, Doris.

Get to your next periods.

And know that you're both on detention
and out of any productions the rest of

this month.

Mr. Morlock, that's not fair.

Can we go now?

Out.

Mr.

Swarovski? Get in line, please.

Mr. Sharofsky, Mrs. Berg asked me to
give you a message. Which is?

Danny Amatulo's father called. He had to
cancel his meeting with you after

school, and he'll call to reschedule
next week.

I'm strong.

I can hack it.

He's not here.

He won't be.

Well, I'm supposed to meet Mr.

I know you.

I met you after one of Danny's shows.
Your name is Doris.

Doris. Yes, nice to see you again.

I've got this appointment with Mr.

Shurovsky. No, you don't.

Your appointment's with me.

I took the form off Mrs. Burke's desk
and filled it out.

Then when you said you could come, I
told Mr. Shurovsky that you'd canceled.

I need to talk to you face to face.

Why face to face?

Because I was afraid if we had this
discussion on the phone, you'd hang up

me.

Why would I hang up on you?

Because I need to know why you're
letting your only son die without

fight.

Danny... Danny ain't my only son.
He's... He's my only living son.

I didn't know Danny had a brother.

Well, he doesn't. Not anymore.

Vinnie... Vinnie died of the same thing
Danny's got.

The same thing?

One in a million shot.

I guess we just got lucky.

That's not funny.

I'll tell you one thing.

You know, you never...

You never get immune to having your kids
die on you.

Mr. Amatullo, that's the way you talk
around Danny.

That's what he gets from you.

I mean, the same thing inevitably has to
happen. Doris.

I just hung up.

Jive turkey.

Chump.

Pea brain.

With sugar in it.

It's a new one.

Trust me, it's very old.

It's all that you know, huh?

We all know.

I thought you promised.

I decided I lied, so sue me.

Don't get yourself into a state.

We didn't come up here to try to talk
you into anything.

That's a lie.

Well, I don't want no pep talk.

What are you talking about talking?

You guys are going to get me torn out of
here, all right?

That's the general idea, jerk.

It's okay. We cleared it with Mr.
Sanchez.

And who's Mr. Sanchez?

The guy in the next bed.

It's in everyone's...

Thank you.

Amen.

It's in every one of us.

Bye and bye.

Hey, Mr. Sanchez, it's all right.

Think Morlock's really going to go
through with it?

Well, he's not exactly famous for
backing down.

He's going to put Miss Grant in a real
bind.

You and me in detention.

Danny's out of the number. Who says I'm
out of the number?

Danny, what are you doing here?

Wasn't that the whole idea?

Oh, my God, Danny, no.

Last night, the son, you got kicked out
of the hospital.

No. I talked to Dr.

Pettibon. She said there's no reason why
I can't be here. She said that what

they have to do to me, they can do in
the afternoons.

Sounds kind of sexy, huh?

Until you've done any chemotherapy, you
just haven't done it.

Bad joke.

Hey, the doc says it's very important
for me to keep up my sense of humor.

I think it's not right.

When we come to the hospital and we sing
you a song and all of a sudden, boom,

festo, you're convinced that you got
this thing beat?

Who says I'm convinced?

The doc needed the bed, that's why I'm
here.

Waiting to take part in therapy?

What?

Oh, these?

Oh, these are some books the doc gave
me.

Said I was supposed to put my head on
the right track.

Let me help.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Give me
the books back. None of that stuff.

What's your problem?

Let me tell you something. You guys
start treating me any different than you

before, I'm going to flatten both of
you. You hear me?

Please, I'm in a training bra, as it is.

Yeah, I'm serious.

Okay, okay.

No sympathy, I promise.

Yeah, no one knows.

Uh, yeah, that might be a little
problem.

Sorry, she knows.

I'd guess.

Oh, Danny.

I want you to know that we're with you
every step of the way on this thing. If

there's anything any of us can do to
help... Miss Grant, Danny doesn't want

special treatment.

All right.

All right, honey, we got rehearsal
today, and be there, and don't be late.

The queen has spoken, and the same goes
for you two girls.

Um, wait, Miss Grant.

About the show, there might be a little
problem.

What's the problem?

It's quite simple.

They were fighting, they're out of the
show, that's it.

They weren't fighting, it was a play.
They were rehearsing, that's all.

Oh, what's the name of this play?

Passion in the Night.

Interesting title.

And the author?

Cameron.

Peter Cameron.

Peter Cameron.

Would you bring me a copy of Passion in
a Night by Peter Cameron?

Ten -four.

Okay, okay, so they were fighting, they
were fighting.

Then they're out of the show, period.

You can't do this.

Miss Grant, did you ever realize how
much time you waste telling me things I

can't do that I proceed to go right
ahead and do anyway?

Well, not to change the subject.

But I assume you're aware of what's
going on with Danny Amatulo.

Yeah, a terrible thing.

Then I also assume you don't mind being
the one to tell him that two of his

closest friends can't be in the show
with him.

Why me?

Well, if you want to make these producer
-type decisions, I think you ought to

have those producer -type conversations.

I'm a tool. You're going to miss lunch.

Of course he's going to miss lunch. The
man is trying to make himself well.

Well, he can still sit with us, can't
he?

I can't. I'm busy.

Busy?

You did say busy, right?

Yep.

I'm a tool.

I've seen pictures of busy people.

And they didn't look anything like you
did right now.

You mean I'm visualizing.

Well, why didn't you say so?

Visualizing? See, it's kind of like an
acting exercise.

So you imagine all the bad stuff in your
body, like as spiders, snakes, you

know, things like that.

Then you imagine a white knight battling
it out and winning over the bad stuff.

Kind of helps you keep touch with what's
going on inside your body.

No offense, buddy, but that all sounds a
little too simple to work for me.

Guy wrote a book about it.

Okay. Then he won the Nobel Prize.

Hmm.

Carry on, man.

Carry on.

Later.

Nice sweater.

How can you eat that stuff?

Well, they were all out of goose liver
pate. You want some? Oh, please.

I don't even know how they can call that
food.

They don't.

Frankly, I admire their honesty. You
look on the menu and it just says

Thursday's special.

Nowhere do they actually claim it's
food. Where else can we find truth in

advertising like that?

We talked to Danny Amatullo. He's doing
pretty good.

I mean, he gave us backtalk and
everything.

Better than good.

Great.

I bet he's gonna make it.

Did I say something wrong?

No. It's not wrong.

I don't know.

Weird.

Thank you.

What do you mean?

Look, man, we're in high school.

We're talking about one of our best
friends being sick.

I mean, really sick.

It doesn't even sound right.

At least he's fighting back now, Leroy.
I mean, even you said he's sounding

good.

Yeah.

I don't know.

You don't know what?

I don't know about all this fighting
back stuff.

Hey, Armatulo's a friend of mine, too.

And I want him back in good shape as
much as anybody.

All this getting in touch with your
body, mind over matter stuff.

I'm sorry.

It just sounds like a bunch of mumbo
jumbo to me.

Maybe it is, but that doesn't matter.
But if he's wasting all his time... If

believes in it, then he's not wasting
his time.

Look, all he gets is all this negative
stuff from his parents about what

happened before.

And it doesn't matter if it's mumbo
-jumbo. I mean, if it keeps him going,

keeps him coming back, then that's
great.

Sure. I mean, remember that time I got
that horrible cold before the Regents'

recital? I mean, the day of the recital,
the cold went away.

The mind can affect the body.

Except... we're not talking about a cold
here.

No. No, we're not.

Well, that's not something we could do.

What's that?

Come on, man.

All right, but if y 'all start laughing,
I'm going to clean out. I'm telling you

that.

You cut off their prayer.

people, we have to make up for a lot of
lost time. So let's take it from the

positions that you're in. Let's pick it
up right where they crisp us. All right,

pick it up.

Danny, what's the matter? Anything I can
do to help? I'm okay.

I'm fine.

It's just something the doctor warned me
about.

What did the doctor warn you about?

Well, how'd the number look? A little
raggedy, right?

Yeah.

Well, the number was raggedy because of
the spacing.

The spacing was off because no one was
getting close to me.

The doctor told me that happens.

You know, people find out you got cancer
and they shy away.

And they don't touch and they don't hug.

You know, they just...

Keep their distance on account of their
afraid. And that's cool.

And I know I haven't been looking so
great going through all that medication

that I have.

Well, I got a kind of cancer.

And I'm trying real hard to beat it.

And even if I don't, you don't got to be
afraid.

It ain't catching.

And most of all, you don't got to be
afraid of me.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Wood.

Danny, are you all right?

Oh, yeah. I just got something caught in
my eye.

I'd say you have every right to have
something caught in your eye.

So, how's it going in court?

I heard you were bringing the gas
company to small claims.

Oh, I decided to go ahead and pay the
stupid thing.

No.

Excuse me?

You can't do that.

They overcharged you.

It's the principal you said. Danny,
you're part of the reason I decided to

it. Me?

Yes.

When I saw how hard you were fighting,
it seemed very stupid to make such a big

deal over a gas bill.

You got it all wrong.

You got it backwards.

I did?

Don't you understand you gotta fight it?

Even if it's something stupid like a gas
bill.

As long as it's important to you, then
that's all that matters.

You know, because if you start giving up
on the stupid stuff, then pretty soon

you're giving up on the big stuff.

And then you're in trouble.

I'm sure you gotta promise me that
you'll take them back to court and fight

thing, okay? I promise.

Was I out of line?

Not even close.

Mrs. Berg, has the mail gone out yet?

No, not till two o 'clock.

Do you mind if I take a look at it?
Right there in the outbox.

Consolidated Edison. You're going to pay
it out, though.

Well, actually... I knew you were a
sensible woman with a good head on your

shoulders, two feet on the ground, and
you have better things to do than...

is Mrs. Berg.

I'm sorry to bother you again, but I'm
still looking for passion in the night.

Well, it must be out there somewhere. It
didn't just up and disappear, did it?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to bark.

It's just that I'm getting desperate.

I'm willing to pay extra if I have to.

Sharofsky, it's time for sabbatical.

I need to say something to you. Hey,
either it's good news, money, or just

out.

I want to tell you how courageous and
brave and gutsy I think you are.

Why don't you just lay off him?

Don't you understand a word I've been
saying? I'm trying to keep this thing

light. I just want to tell you that I'm
proud to be your friend.

And I've really learned a lot from you.

And I want to shake your hand.

Because I really respect you, man.

Why don't you just cut it out? I'm
serious.

I want to shake your hand.

It was something that Coco used to do
before the show.

And I think we should do it again.

And that was that we'd all get together
in a circle and grab each other's hands.

And Coco would say

something. I forget. Do you remember
what she said?

Yeah.

She used to say, we're all very special
people with a very special kind of

energy.

And we've got to use that energy to do
the best damn show that we know how to

do.

Danny, your father says he needs to
speak to you.

A show like this, pretty big deal, huh?

Yeah, pretty big.

You got a big part?

Yeah, pretty big.

For a show like this, they got, what do
you call it?

those understudies for a pretty big part
like yours?

Yeah.

I talked to Dr.

Peterbottom and she says the understudy
is going to have to go on for you after

tonight.

Sounds like I'm in trouble, huh?

You're in remission.

And she says she wants to start the bone
marrow procedure tomorrow.

I'm going to

be

okay. I really am.

So help me God.

him God?

Let's keep moving.

Don't you lose your ground. Cause the
road you're walking might be long

sometimes. Just keep on stepping and
you'll be just fine.

Just know that feeling will only last a
while. Just stick with us and we'll show

you.