Original subtitles

Which one of you is the ball player?

Hey man, I don't know what this thing is about, but I'm not about to be a ball

player for nobody.

Hey, cool, what's the matter with you? We're gonna cream those twerps.

All we need is a little help from you guys. We don't even have a playbook.

So you got any ideas? You are insane.

That is a crazy idea.

This thing is the show you were dying to be a part of? If me and Leroy are in

the show, who's going to coach the basketball team?

big dreams.

You want fame.

Well, fame comes.

And right here is where you start paying.

Thank you, Mrs. Berg. I'll take over from here. My pleasure.

I trust the both of you are thoroughly ashamed.

About what? I've never been so mortified in my life.

What do we do? You were in charge of props at the play last night, yes or no?

Yeah, but Mrs. Berg... The party scene? Those wine glasses those people were

drinking out of were filthy.

Absolutely filthy.

They were not. I washed them myself. No excuses, Amatulo.

I wasn't there.

Say what?

I had the flu. I wasn't even there. I said no excuses, Johnson.

Miss Grant, you're going to blame me and I wasn't even there? I was out, sick of

the dorm. That's right, I certainly am. In fact, I'm thinking of taking the both

of you out of the alumni day activities just to teach you a lesson.

Oh, Miss Grant, come on. Miss Grant, we won't do that. However, there may be

another way.

Now, in putting this alumni day show together, I've had to be in touch with

of the graduates we're planning on inviting back. This man needs a little

in order to join us.

I'd like the two of you to go over to his place and do whatever it is he needs

to be done. And when I hear back from him what a big help you've been, then

you're off the hook.

Deal?

Deal.

All right, get going.

I'll cover for you last period.

Thank you. The sooner you get there, the better.

I got to get my stuff.

Let me check the lock.

Mr. Grant, I know it's not my place to criticize the teacher, but I... I

feel I have to say that I don't think you were very fair to those two young

You're right, Mrs. Berg. I wasn't. That was part of the plan.

Oh?

Part of the plan?

Uh -huh. I see.

Well, then, accidental cruelty is very difficult for me to cope with. But if

it's all part of a plan, then I suppose it must be all right.

So, uh, where do we got to go?

Oh, Avenue G.

But I don't think you're the right color if you want to know the truth.

Yeah, and what the hell is that supposed to mean?

Look, man, don't get upset.

Look how she put the dude's name on the card.

Brother Timothy.

The dude is blood.

Brother Timothy.

Dude's blood, man.

Where would this guy be?

How would I know? I ain't never been here before either.

Well, I figure you've been to a church like this a whole lot more than I have.

You kidding?

You know how long it's been for me? I can't even remember the last time I've

been to confession.

Danny, I'm Matildo.

And you're Leroy Johnson.

Right.

Which one of you is the ball player?

Stay there. I'll be right down.

I don't know what this thing is about, but I'm not about to be a ball player

nobody. Yeah, well, whatever it is, I'm not in this alone, and you can bet on

that. You know, we can get a signal between each other so we can tell each

when we want out of this thing, whatever it is. All right. If either of us use

Sharofsky's name in a sentence, that means we don't want to do whatever he

us to do.

Hi.

Mr. Johnson, Mr. Ramatulo.

I can't tell you how pleased I am that Lydia was able to arrange for you to

us out.

I'm Brother Timothy.

You can call me Timothy if that's easier.

Timothy, no last name, huh?

I'm afraid not.

We don't know exactly what we're supposed to do here.

Well, you know about the choir.

We don't know about the choir.

You know about the basketball team.

We don't know nothing about no basketball team.

Well, as I explained to Lydia, we have a boys' choir here.

And they are enrolled in a church athletic league.

I can get the choir to sound wonderful, but I don't know the first thing about

basketball.

And as I told Lydia, it seems to mean a great deal to the boys.

You and Miss Grant go a ways back, huh?

Yeah, we were in a road company together way back when.

She's a great person.

You were a performer.

How'd you get sidetracked into this gig?

That's odd.

I never thought of it as getting sidetracked.

No disrespect intended.

None taken.

Anyway, when I told Lydia about my problem, that's when she volunteered the

of you.

What exactly did she volunteer the two of us to do?

To get the boys into shape and coach them into a competitive team.

Shirovsky.

Excuse me.

Excuse me?

That's what I said.

I didn't hear you. What did you say?

Well, I didn't say it, but what I need to know is, who should I see about this

alumni day thing you people are putting together?

Are you an alumnus?

No. But I work for Johnny Wilcox, and he is.

The Johnny Wilcox?

Mr. Entertainment?

The greatest entertainer ever to be lowered onto a stage?

Let me guess.

You're a fan.

Always. Forever.

I'm a music major here, and Johnny Wilcox is one of the reasons I came to

school. Really?

What instrument do you play?

The sousaphone.

So, whom should I see?

The office is right there. You'll want to talk to a Mrs. Berg.

Thank you.

It won't when I tell you what I just found out about Johnny Wilcox and how

coming to Alumni Day.

Oh, Dwight, listen, it was all our fault. Are you okay?

I think so.

Obviously, I'm disappointed that you don't think you can help.

It's just that we have so much studying to do, like biology and stuff like that.

Yeah, we're both into biology.

Fair enough.

But you're going to have to tell the boys yourselves.

They knew I was going to try to find somebody to help and I wanted to see

at least I made an effort.

Come on.

Mr. Boyd.

That's all right, Brother Marcel.

I think it sounded pretty good.

What do you think, Lucas?

I thought it was hot.

It happened again, Brother Timothy.

You were late for choir practice?

You see, it went down like this.

I got myself on the 714 uptown just like I always do.

Now we're heading up 7th, and what do you think happened? You guessed it, a

tire.

It's pretty good.

Mr. Johnson.

Sorry.

Lucas, we'll discuss this later.

Thank you, Brother Marcel.

Bye.

Now, I'd like to take a minute and speak to you about the upcoming basketball

game with St. Jane Francis.

I know that I said that I would find a coaching staff for you, and I have.

This is Leroy Johnson.

And Danny Amatullo.

I'm afraid Mr. Johnson has something he has to tell you.

Mr. Johnson?

Suit move.

Hi, um... First of all, I'd like to say I'm not really good at baseball.

Uh, basketball.

Sorry, basketball.

And as you can see, I'm not real good with words either.

So I'm just gonna let my pal Amatulo tell you guys what we're gonna say.

Uh, too smooth.

Well, uh, looks like this game means a lot to you guys.

We're gonna cream those twerps.

All we need is a little help from you guys.

What is this, a grudge match or something?

Uh, St. Jane Francis beat us pretty badly last year, and they chose to

themselves in the sin of pride.

Huh? They rubbed our noses in it.

Oh.

Just tell them and get it over with.

Right. Well, um, if this game's real important, and I'm beginning to get the

feeling that it is, well, then you guys deserve the best of everything,

including coaches, which we're not.

So, uh, what I'm trying to say is that it looks like we're gonna have to, um...

It looks like we're going to have to do the

best we can.

You are no part of it.

But you promised.

No, you promised. I was just an innocent bystander at the scene of the crime,

remember? So I can't do it alone.

I know that.

So where's your heart?

I left it in San Francisco. Now get off my case.

What about the alumni show? You know, Ms. Grant said if we don't do this,

out of the show.

Look, there'll be lots of shows. I could afford to skip one. Catch up on some

reading. Hey, guys, is it true?

As far as I know, it is.

Dynamite.

Is what true?

Never mind.

But I get the feeling that you're going to be at practice today. Not if my life

depended on it.

You'll be there.

Hey, I'm Ms. Grant. About this Brother Timothy. Oh, Leroy, sweetheart, not

now, okay?

Class, could I have your attention, please?

I have a very important announcement to make. Everybody over here, quick, quick,

quick.

People, about this Alumni Day show, I want you children to be thinking fierce.

You hear me?

Fierce, fierce, fierce.

Because there's a great possibility that you might be working and dancing with

Mr. Johnny Wilcox.

All right.

Yo, 4 o 'clock, St. Charles Gym.

Bring your sneakers.

Okay, it says somebody from this line is supposed to shoot.

And then somebody from that line snags the ball, passes it to this line as he

runs to the end of the shoot line.

All right, come on, y 'all. It's easy.

Dean and Nick's do it, all right? Let's go.

If I were here, if I were here, it would be late. All right, you'll be first on

this line. Come on, team, let's go.

Act like ball players.

You ready?

You guys don't know what a playbook is? We didn't say that. Look, let me give

you guys some free advice, okay?

Get out while you can.

I'm sure you got better things to do with your time. And it's safe to say

in way over your head.

I don't know how safe it is to say that, mister.

Just do it yourself.

I always do.

Just remember, we get the court at 4 .30.

We know.

Just a friendly reminder.

shot at it what are you talking about you take a good listen to lucas's voice

should i it's changing from soprano to foghorn and once it's gone for good so

he out of the choir off the team well growing up has bumps along the way i

it's like the man said we don't even have a playbook so you got any ideas

of fact i do is it legal what kind of question is that is it legal okay so

not legal You are insane.

That is a crazy idea.

Split the difference. Call it desperate.

You're going to steal the other team's playbook?

How else are we supposed to copy it?

You can't do that. That's right.

We can't.

They've seen our faces.

Me?

Who better?

Oh, who better? Anybody better. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir would be better.

Come on, Schwarzman, we need... Oh, forget it. Forget it. She says she can't

it, she can't do it. Plain and simple.

I didn't say can't.

I said won't. There's a big difference.

I guess you're right.

There is a big difference.

And I guess the kids in the choir will know there's a difference because I'll

tell them.

Tell them about the girl that can help them, but won't.

Tell them about the girl that can let them know what it's like to be a winner,

but won't.

Tell them about the girl that can make their lives worthwhile, but won't.

I'm sure they'll understand. Yeah, definitely.

Jerry Lewis does it better.

Hey, listen, Doris, look, we get Julie to flash those baby blues at the other

coach. He turns his head, you get the playbook, you copy it. Come on. What an

adventure. What a challenge.

What a crock.

Does that mean you won't do it?

Did I say that?

I didn't think I said that.

No, as a matter of fact, I know I didn't say that.

What a surprise.

Hold on, people. One second. Take five, okay? Take five.

I thought you'd like a little advance warning.

Advance warning? What other kind of warning is there, Mrs. Burke?

What is it, Mrs. Burke?

Johnny Wilcox can't be here.

What?

Oh, come on, people. Come on now. Don't fall apart on me now. Hang in there.

These things happen sometimes. We're tough enough to deal with this.

Our real problem now is who's going to take his place in the production number.

Mr. Johnson, are you showing some interest?

Oh, just a little, you know.

Do you know the routine?

Oh, yeah,

you know the routine.

Well, I guess you're my man then.

Miss Grant, you do understand Mr.

Wilcox will miss the rehearsals only.

He intends to be here for the Alumni Day performance.

I'm still going to need a stand -in for rehearsals anyway.

Wait a minute. You're trying to tell me that I'm just going to be a stand -in in

this thing?

Well, you have a choice.

Good. You can either be a stand -in or a sit -down.

Well, as you can see, I'm still standing, aren't I?

Aren't you, though?

Yo, I need to know what happened with Operation Playbook. Oh, you should have

heard her, Amatillo. That coach was crawling through the phone to get at

You already got in touch with him?

All I said was I went to the school newspaper.

The school ain't got a newspaper.

No kidding.

Tell him what you said. This person is not one to get tied down by truth.

Listen to this. I told him we were thinking of starting a sports program.

Everybody said he's one of the best coaches in the city.

But really... help us out if you could just come by here just an interview but

it was the way she said it it wasn't just help us out it was come over help

out lethal listen anyway he's gonna be by here this afternoon when he's here

doris will be over there a regular matahari miller matahari didn't she have

face the firing squad i bet she had a smile on her face

Yo, what's up?

Ms. Grant shows me that you and Leroy are coaching a basketball team. Trying

coach a basketball team. Yeah? Need some help?

What we need is a miracle.

Hey, middle name. Why don't I give you guys a hand?

You?

Smile when you say that. Wait, wait, you played?

Are you kidding me?

Man, they used to call me Fast Break Kid.

Excuse me.

Do you know where the gymnasium is?

Yes, my child, what's your sense?

I... I beg your pardon?

I thought that's what I was supposed to do.

Quite right.

Your sense?

Give me a second.

Oh, my, and speak trouble.

We've all known trouble in our lives.

The Lord is always with you. He wasn't supposed to be here till four o 'clock.

Well, he's always here.

You simply open your heart to him and... He'll look inside and it'll be gone.

Surely things aren't that bad.

Hello.

I'm sorry.

That's all I needed to hear.

Why is it so important?

Because it is. That's why.

You know, I can't believe that you couldn't keep him distracted.

Look, I'm sorry. I guess Mozart just didn't do it for him.

You played him classical music?

Was that your best Mata Hari?

Well, what did you expect me to do? Don't answer that. Look, I'm sorry that

messed up, but at least we didn't get caught.

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get out of here before I get angry.

And good luck finding us a new strategy before the game.

No, we didn't exactly save the day, but I think he's a little out of control.

He wants to win.

So do I. But why is it such a big deal? I thought you just agreed to coach the

team.

It's the Alumni Day show.

You think if the boys' team doesn't win, Miss Graham will let you be in it.

It was that way for a while, yeah, but... I think a couple of those kids

us.

Maybe. Doesn't the show matter?

It matters.

But seeing how bad those kids need to win.

It reminds me of me when I first figured out I could dance.

Yeah, the kids remind me of me.

Well, if Reardon said he'll help, he'll help.

It's gonna take more than Reardon.

Well, you'll have more than Reardon.

You'll have me, and you'll have Julie, and you'll have Kelly, and you're gonna

have the most enthusiastic cheering section you ever saw. Guaranteed morale

booster.

Hey, um, how come you so into this all of a sudden?

I don't know.

Maybe a couple of the guys got that.

Hi, Mrs. Berg. You going to the game?

What game is that?

A basketball game. Friday night.

St. Andrews. Danny Leroy. They're coaching this team. I bet they could use

down there. Well, of course I'll tell them. But I haven't played in years.

Hey, Kelly.

Pass these out, okay? Oh, sure.

Oh, hey. Learn this cheer, okay?

Guys, listen up to what I'm saying. This is important, okay?

I'm going to be Lucas for this drill. You got that? I'm Lucas, all right?

As Gary initiates the offense, Lucas and I are going to be moving over.

That means you throw the ball, okay?

Okay, Andy, check out your players, all right? Check your players. You got a

triangle here.

Go for the open man. That's Raul right now, okay? Throw the ball to him.

Right. All right, now, Raul, you check it out.

I'm in the open this time.

Lucas, you get the ball. You fake to your right. You drive it to the left.

And he goes in. All right, you guys think you can do that? Pretty simple,

Okay. Gary?

All right.

Hustle up, guys.

All right, now go to the open man.

That's Raul. All right.

Okay, hold it. Let's go. All right, hold it, guys.

Hold it. That's right. Hold it. That's right. Way to hustle. Okay.

Why don't you take five, get some water, rest up. I'll talk to you in a minute,

okay?

I don't claim to know much about basketball.

They look to me like they stink.

Nah, they're not that good.

Come on, guys. They're not as bad as they were when I first started working

them. Hell of a compliment.

I mean, if you know what they're doing wrong, why not give them something

different to do?

It won't work. Why not?

Because they're thinking too much.

I've been telling them what to do, but they're so tentative, you know? I mean,

it's all by the numbers for them.

Basketball doesn't work like that. It's a game of reaction. You don't think

about it. You just do it. Bam, you know?

You know, there's times when dancing's like that, too.

It's too cool, ain't you got no eyes?

Don't you see what I'm like between the blue ribbon flies?

I can move, I can skate like a seven -horse wake, and I'll break it.

be a grown -up about it.

We gotta cream those guys.

This is Lucas' last year, and we gotta win it for him.

You really wanna win it for him?

Yeah.

Haven't you ever had a buddy you wanted good stuff for?

Sort of.

It's neat, isn't it?

You watch it, you're gonna start sounding like a grown -up if you're not

careful.

Get out of here. Go take a shower. You smell.

Come on.

Leroy Johnson.

Come here.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the library to return a book.

Well, on your way there, swing by wardrobe.

You're going to be dancing to lead in the production number.

What? Mr. Wilcox called again last night. His specialist is running two

over, and so you are my man.

All right.

Yeah. Well, would you get down to the wardrobe and get fitted? We have dress

rehearsal Friday night. I only have but a couple of days to get you looking

good. Now go.

All right, people.

The rehearsal can't be on Friday night.

Well, being that the performance is Saturday night, it best be on Friday

Why? What's the problem? Well, the basketball game is Friday night, too.

Oh, Leroy, I sent you over to help Brother Timothy out because he's an old

friend of mine. I promised if you helped him out, you could be in the show. And

you helped him out, and now you're in the show.

And you're the only one that knows that routine.

You did your part now.

I have to do mine.

No, no, Miss Grant, it's not your fault. It's not my fault either. It's no one's

fault.

Especially not those kids' falls.

Even though they're the ones who are going to have to suffer.

I'll get the wardrobe.

Danny, stop by on your free period and let's work out a prompt book.

Hold on, hold on.

I'm stage managing this thing?

This thing.

This thing is the show you were dying to be a part of. Yeah, I know. And I know

you had this whole thing planned out.

Well, I didn't know it was going to be love at first sight.

Sorry about it. Well, don't be sorry. I'm proud of you all. You all did a good

job. That still doesn't get you out of stage managing the show.

Yeah, well, if me and Leroy are in the show, who's going to coach the

team? I look upon this as an exciting challenge.

And I assume that you will look upon my promotion in exactly the same manner.

I can see you have some doubts about our chances.

Well, let me tell you something.

Coaching...

isn't all that crucial.

Players win ball games.

I could coach a world championship team if I had Lew Alcindor as my center.

Who?

Lew Alcindor. He was a very famous basketball player who played for St.

Kareem Abdul -Jabbar.

I beg your pardon?

Lew Alcindor changed his name to Kareem Abdul -Jabbar.

Why in the world would he ever do that?

He converted.

I'll be damned.

Now look, the word is said, not goes.

He said, let's go to the movies, and I said, that sounds fine. Not, he goes,

let's go to the movies, and I go, that sounds fine.

Yes. That's not correct.

What? You can't say, that sounds fine. It's an adverb modifier, right? So it

would have to be, sound finely.

Out of here. Go!

I got bad news.

Terrific. I'm fresh out.

Look, I won't be able to do the paper on Dickens, so I'm afraid you'll have to

take me out of the Alumni Day show.

The paper on Dickens isn't due for two weeks.

Look, I know I'm going to have a busy schedule.

I won't have time to do the paper.

Leroy, I can't take you out of a show because you think a paper due two weeks

from now might be late.

Oh, come on, Michelle. What would I have to do to get you to take me out of this

show?

I'm not going to answer that.

Why not?

Because judging from the tone of your voice, whatever I tell you it takes to

out of the show is exactly what you're going to do, right?

You got that right.

Why?

Is it because of those kids you and Danny are working with?

Well, finally.

Finally?

Finally what?

I've been waiting for what seems like centuries for you to realize that all of

life isn't tied up in performing.

I was hoping you'd see it through literature or history or whatever. But

kid's basketball game is what does it, hooray.

Mr. Johnson, you're getting educated.

I thought education was supposed to make you feel better.

Education doesn't make you feel better. It doesn't make you feel worse.

But it does help you to feel more.

Nice and easy.

Nice and easy, guys.

All right.

Go get it.

There's a seat behind the bench if you're interested.

Thank you, but we're sitting with Brother Timothy.

The law of the unattainable.

Look. Looking good.

Very clear.

Again, it's luck.

Look, if this number comes off without any foul -ups, you know Miss Grant will

have no notes for us. We'll be out of here in 20 minutes, about.

That's very deep thinking, not places.

The number will be great. I know it. Then don't you think we should get on

stage? Come on.

I believe I would, yeah.

Okay, then say you love us and tell us to hit the showers.

I love you and hit the shower.

Yo, dog's call, man. 18 -14 is the half. Who's got 18?

Not us. Oh, come on.

Ain't you guys the home team?

Yeah.

Doesn't that say the other team scored more points?

Yeah, they scored more points.

But we won.

What did you win?

The other team's respect.

They didn't cream us. They didn't even come close.

Hey, you guys. You know, there is a place around the corner that sells the

greasiest, gloppiest chili dog you ever saw.

Great stuff for winners.

Go. I'm sorry.

Ten dollars, there's no way you're on

he'll be mad at you. And if you miss it, you'll be mad at him.

Ain't no friendship worth a basket.

Not even close.

Kid's talking like a grown -up again.