Original subtitles

Listen, pal, I don't want to depress you, but I thought I saw a bumper

yesterday that said, honk if you hate Bruno.

You want the world to know it, all you got to do is show it with your... She

a bug up her bazooka about average or something.

Don't you ever want to do something crazy, far out?

Someday, all of this will be mine, including those hilltops across the

He's terrible.

I'll kill him, man. That was my part.

Let the game begin.

You've got big dreams.

You want fame.

Well, fame costs.

And right here is where you start paying and sweat.

You want to see my permit?

It's half a little backwards, isn't it? I'm supposed to ask you for a permit.

You have to have a permit to be out in the hall or I'm going to have to report

you to the office. Now, come on. Let me see. I don't have all day.

A permit for what?

To be a hallway monitor for all the office doors. You're just out here

classes. You've got to have permission to be out here.

Well, I think I've got my membership card for the council hallway patrol.

on, come on. Walk it over. I want to see it. Come on, come on, come on. Now.

Okay.

Got to check the third floor now.

Carry on.

Hey, what about your hallway permit?

Hey!

People!

You either accept the fact that there are means of communication that don't

you know -tacked on every fourth word, or you're going to go through life

sounding like sophomore middle linebackers.

What? I need Bruno Martelli. Why?

Well, Mr.

Swarovski was demonstrating something on one of the synthesizers, and it started

to sizzle and smoke, and he said he needs Martelli.

He needs Bruno to pull a plug?

I don't know much about synthesizers, ma 'am. I'm just delivering the message.

Adios, Martelli.

Is it really only 9 .30 in the morning?

Wow.

This lady, man, she like, you know, can tell time and everything.

You know what I want?

Not being completely honest.

Well, that was pretty obvious.

Yeah? I thought I did pretty well.

Well, first of all, you called Sherwood man, which you never do. Second of all,

the notion of Sharofsky doing anything with my synthesizer is bizarre.

Aren't you curious?

You could say that, yeah.

Guess which school on an overcrowded island has just decided to do an

musical submitted by one of the students of Italian descent?

You're kidding.

I go through all this chaserine, you ask me if I'm kidding?

How did you find out?

Darling, when people talk, Doris Schwartz listens.

Just a student, he wouldn't know what to do.

But he wouldn't be doing it on his own. We'd be there, too.

And you didn't say he was just a student when you heard the score he wrote.

Because musically he's an adult.

A damn creative one.

But to make him a member of the production team... Well, Mr. Shirovsky,

real world, a composer is a member of the production team.

He has a say in staging and casting and mounting the whole production.

And if we're supposed to be preparing these kids for a professional's real

why not go the whole route?

Just because you're being logical doesn't mean I'm going to let you win

argument. I am on to that trick.

You haven't said much.

My mama didn't raise a fool. I'm not getting in the middle of this.

Oh, look, I don't want to interrupt you guys, because I know you're busy.

I just wanted to say thanks.

Thanks? Thanks for what?

Well, I heard about you picking my musical, and I wanted to tell you how

am.

Well, why don't you tell us how you know about it?

We just made the final decision ten minutes ago.

Anyway, thanks a lot.

Mr. Martelli, tell me, what do you know about casting?

Oh, not much.

I mean, Humphrey Bogart made a good Sam's Bay that stops about there.

And what do you know about staging?

About half of what I know about casting.

All right, that's all right. Go on, don't be late for your next laugh.

Again, thanks, really.

Well, David, your little idea is a nice theory, but I think we ought to just

keep it that way.

A nice theory.

Suit yourself.

I just think it's a little chicken -hearted.

What?

Why'd you have to say that?

Not allowing Martelli to do what a composer really does.

Just a little gutless on our part.

That's all.

Mr. Martellus!

About face, baby.

I just can't.

Bruno, I think it is fantastic, man.

I would be flying and scared and everything if I were you.

If I were me, I would be too.

Just don't forget how popular cellists are.

Hey, come on. What are we talking about?

They're going to let me take part in the auditions.

You mean you're going to try out?

Well, no. I mean, it's kind of like a regular composer in a show. They're

to let me judge more or less.

That mean you're going to be judging my dancing?

Look, man.

We now personally know someone who is in on selecting the leads. Now, this could

be helpful.

And you want another milk? I'm going to get you another milk. Knock it off.

Can I call you Bruno?

Danny, get away.

No, you know what I'm going to get you? You need a chocolate milk. I got to get

you a chocolate milk. Get out of here.

Bruno, relax.

Some of us are still adult enough to treat you the way we always have.

Like a filthy, scum, swine.

Grab a seat. We're about ready to roll.

Do you think I can ask you a question just between you and me?

Sure.

Do you think it's right?

I mean, me taking part like this?

Yeah, I do. Why, don't you?

Well, it's sort of primitive in a way. Kind of taboo. A student working with

teachers, judging other students.

I mean, some kids may get bothered by that.

You one of those people?

Not sure.

Probably yes.

Uh, we're not having a student -teacher conversation, are we? I mean, this is

pretty much off the record, right?

Yeah.

If you cop out on me now, after I argued so hard to make this thing come

together, I'm gonna look like a jerk.

Are you worried about your image?

No, not at all.

But I am concerned about how the next idea I bring up is likely to be greeted.

Martelli. I'm trying to loosen things up around here a little bit.

And from what Mr. Shirazki told me, I thought maybe he'd be the guy to help.

What did Shirazki say about me?

Well, he just said that you were very talented and very stubborn.

Said you like to shake things up from time to time.

Well, so do I.

Mr. Reardon, we got a whole lot of people back here. They're beginning to

up. Are you about ready to start?

I'll send it, Jerry.

Anytime. Right.

Now, if the Rams win by four points, that will mean they'll cover this three

-and -a -half -point spread.

But if they only win by a field goal... You sure this is a legal thing?

Oh, my, yes.

The man who gave them to me said all the money you lose goes to this charity he

runs. And you believe him? Yes, of course.

You see, he also told me you don't have to declare any money you might win.

It's tax -free because it comes from a charity, you see.

Couldn't I just donate and get a receipt? That's the way most charities

No, he said this one runs differently.

Mrs. Berg, would you check my file?

See how much sick leave I'm entitled to.

It's right away.

Coming down with something?

I'm not sure.

There's a lot of that going around.

Mr. Sharofsky, do you ever get fed up?

Do you ever start to feel like you're beating your head against a stone wall?

No. You never feel like you're doing the same thing over and over again?

Don't you ever want to do something crazy, far out, just to do it?

Fill out one of Mrs. Berg's football cards.

Far out, I'm not sure about. But crazy certainly applies.

Here we are.

You have ten days left.

Thank you.

I'll get this back to you tomorrow.

I've always been a sucker for a worthy cause.

I know what you're thinking.

You've never been any good at hiding your feelings when it comes to things

this. And you've never been any good at guessing what I was thinking,

Christopher. But you always forget that when we have these arguments.

This isn't an argument.

None of them are arguments.

They're little dances we do.

What do you think?

Well, the girl's not so bad. The guy's not even close.

It's Norman Benzer.

He's really a nice guy. Do you really believe that?

He's very gentle.

Very sweet.

It takes a lot of courage for him to get up and do what he's doing.

This isn't like high diving, Martelli. You don't get extra points for degree of

difficulty.

And that I do blame you for.

I knew you'd try to make me feel reprehensible.

Responsible.

Responsible.

Sorry.

Don't worry about it. It'll be fine.

Thank you.

We'll post the results by the end of the week.

Well, it was okay, though, wasn't it? Really, it was fine. Thank you both.

Hey, Norman?

You want to try it again?

Yeah, I'd really like to.

Thanks.

I know what you're thinking.

Wait a second.

He's really such a timid guy.

I'm just going to go give him some thoughts about how it should go. Okay,

take a look.

So how's it going?

Terrific. No problem.

A lot of kids back there waiting.

Running a little late, huh?

Yeah, well, we just wanted to give this one kid another shot at it. It had a

kind of interesting quality to him.

Norman Benzer?

Yeah.

He's one of Sharofsky's people.

I know that.

We agreed we needed a lot of crossover in this piece. You know, actors who can

dance, musicians who can act.

Had to be an open call.

Norman Benzer played the oboe.

Yeah, so, uh, how'd the dance auditions go?

Fine. Fine.

Of course, I didn't have as many helpers as you do.

Ciao.

Try that. See how it worked.

Game of pre -motivational advice is going to turn the whole thing around.

I know what you're thinking. You've never been any good at hiding your

fooling... Bruno, can we start at the very beginning?

You bet.

Nature seems almost to have a balance sheet in mind when it comes to the

survival rates of its various species.

The more complex the organism, the more creatures and ailments there are to

threaten its life.

On the other hand, creatures is based if it's a common earthworm or cockroach.

Speak of the devil.

Failure to have a hall permit.

Failure to obey a hallway monitor.

Creating a disturbance during nutrition.

And second citation for failing to obey a hallway monitor.

I thought it was jacks or better to open.

You're not laughing.

You're really going to lay all these on me, aren't you?

There's a place for you to sign at the bottom of each one.

Hope all your dreams come true, Dora Schwartz.

Don't ever change, Dora Schwartz.

What's the penalty for all this?

Extra assignments from your advisor and no performance experience for a month.

Oh.

Well, look, uh...

Dwight.

Dwight. Is that really your name?

Yes. After Eisenhower? After my dad.

Yeah, but he was named after Eisenhower.

Way after.

Eisenhower was named around 1895 or something. My dad wasn't even born until

1937.

Dwight, never mind.

Look, I can't be penalized like this. Extra assignment's okay, but I gotta try

out for Martelli's musical. You have heard about that, haven't you?

Yeah. My best friend's Norman Binzer. He thinks he's going to be in it.

Martelli really liked his reading, he said.

Yeah, well, I think I have a good shot at it, too, because Martelli and I are

really good friends, and Dwight had to offer you my body, but this is the

library, and they won't let us make a scene.

So why don't we see if we can work something out, okay?

You're a friend of Martelli?

Uh -huh.

A good friend?

Uh -huh.

Could you get me into the show?

One, two, three, four!

Well, let's just say you're not the first to ask, or the second, or the

Boom! There's a guy named Twice. He's on the list.

I doubt that.

Everybody wants to see who's on this list. I mean, everybody.

It's almost as if it has the answer to the Cosmic Little or something.

Well, what is it?

The answer?

The list.

Oh, this is the people that we've seen so far. The check marks are the people

that we've eliminated.

And the stars are next to the people who settled on for the part.

I don't see too many check marks on here.

Well, I wanted to give everyone a fair chance.

You still have Coco and Julie up for the same part?

Yeah, that depends on which way we decide to go with it.

All right, Louis Flaconi for the judge. That's okay.

Danny Amatullo, the part of Theo.

Yeah.

The part of Theo has to make a major contribution to the crazy lady number.

The production number.

I thought that we agreed there'd be some crossover in this.

He hates dancing.

The only way I can get that boy to dance is to come after him with a whip, a

chain, and a chair.

Now, I don't have to mug somebody to get him to rehearsal.

It's all right, son. Go on.

I'll talk to Mr. Reardon about it. No need in getting on your case.

The deal was I was brought into this as equal among equals. If that's true, then

you should be able to get on my case as easily as you would Mr. Reardon.

Putting Danny Amatulo in this dance number was short -sighted, incredibly

ignorant of the needs of the show, and just plain old flat -out dumb.

That's what you would have said to Mr. Reardon?

Believe it.

Thank you very much for sharing that with me. I appreciate it.

You're welcome.

If you don't want to stay, then get out.

I can deal with your leaving, and I can deal with you staying and trying to make

this work.

What I can't deal with is you staying and trying to tear down what we've got.

What we've got doesn't take tearing down.

A puppy sneezes will be good enough to do it.

Okay, Michael, Stephanie, that was good. It was very good. Thank you.

Thank you very much, Mr. Reardon.

We appreciate it.

Good night.

Thanks again.

You guys were really good. I was listening. You guys have got it. It's a

They let us do it three times?

Yeah, they were really being nice about it.

Come on. See you.

Bye.

Well?

They were good.

Both of them. Oh, no.

According to you, everyone's been good.

No one's been terrific, and no one's been terrible.

Everyone's just been good.

It's time to make some choices, Martelli. We gotta get off the dime, you

what I mean? Yeah, well, I'm gonna make some enemies, and it's not very easy for

me. Oh, well, you've been a real popular guy up to now, right?

Well, I hate to sound like a Joan Crawford movie, but I am starting to

little used.

Everybody's after something, whether it be a favor or a part or an inside hit.

Nobody just talks to me anymore. They're all trying to convince me to make this

choice or that choice to help me get a leg up on getting into the show.

It's my understanding that what we're supposed to do is cast the show, not

endless auditions.

Now, some people get bent out of shape because of what we decide.

That's tough, but that's the way it is. It's just not.

Tell him I pulled rank.

Make me the heavy. I don't care. Whatever. But we don't have any more

play games.

Okay. Okay. Part of Deborah.

I say Julie Miller.

Agreed. Hulk is going to kill me. Bruno!

Right. Deborah, Julie Miller.

Onward.

Well?

Turn me in. I couldn't make it happen.

Did you really try?

Yes, I really tried.

Turn me in, Nonek, and get out of my life.

Okay, that takes care of everybody except for... Mr. Reardon, are you going

be much longer?

No, just a couple of minutes, Jerry. You can go ahead and start wrapping it up

if you want.

Ah, I see. Part of Christopher.

Oh, nobody.

No, nobody came close to him.

Nobody?

Nobody.

Welcome to the real world, Martelli.

We start rehearsals on Monday. Somebody's got to play the part of

It's time to make that choice, pal.

Nobody came close to the guy. He's shy and sensitive.

He's got kind of an off -the -wall sense of humor.

He's not standard leading man, damn it. He's you.

Parts of me, maybe, yeah, but not... No, no, no, no.

You play it.

What? Of course.

Look, if it's good enough for Noel Coward and Woody Allen, why isn't it

enough for Bruno Martelli? I mean, they perform in all the things they wrote.

Look, Bruno, if the part fit, play it.

I'm heading for the barn. I'll see you Monday.

I'm not an actor, though.

Martelli, you just got through saying the character's you, so who can play you

better than you?

You'll be great.

Did you get this thing cast?

Yeah. Just now.

I still don't see how you could work so hard to stay in shape and not want to

get into sports.

I do want to get into sports. The high jump with Diana Raw.

It's outrageous. It's a disgrace.

What's going on around here? The Knicks lose or something?

I don't know.

Come and take a look at this.

He can't cast himself in the lead. It's not fair.

What? I'll kill him, man. That was my part.

Let the games begin.

David, I've been out in the lobby listening to the kids talking,

and some of them are really ticked off about this.

Just give it a couple of days. It'll blow over.

You don't know this school. That's not the way it happens around here.

Lydia, the thing that's supposed to be important is the show, not somebody's

hurt feelings.

Oh, we're not talking about hurt feelings. We're talking about kids who

think they had a fair chance.

Whoa, whoa. Now, wait a minute. Come on. There was nothing unfair about that at

all. It was just a last -minute brainstorm.

Brainstorm?

Yeah.

All right, look. I admit it's not the standard way shows get cast around here,

but what's wrong with trying something new occasionally?

What's wrong with shaking things up a little bit?

David, this school is a bottle of soda pop.

And that's not something you shake up unless you want it to blow up in your

face. You stir it.

Very gently.

Mr. Reardon, do you know much about sports and things?

Yeah, a little.

Well, then, maybe you can help me. I forget.

Is it the Raiders or the Chargers who never do diddly on artificial turf?

Good morning.

My name is Mrs. Atterbury.

Where's Miss Sherwood?

I imagine she's sick.

What with?

Well, they don't tell me that.

They just tell me a teacher will be absent, and then they tell me where to

Well, I'm not going to touch that one.

Just let me get the attendance, and then we'll all pitch in.

According to Miss Sherwood's notes, you were just finishing your consideration

of Joseph Conrad.

Come through, hot plate, hot plate.

Can we get a clean rag on three?

Come through.

I kissed it in the cloakroom. It didn't turn into a prince.

Could you tell me how dissecting a frog is going to help me in later life?

Sure. You'll learn from it.

Learn what?

That neither one of us will be the first people in history to throw up on a dead

frog?

Talk to me.

About what?

Let's begin at the beginning.

How long have you had this compulsion to alienate the entire school body?

Listen, pal, I don't want to depress you, but I thought I saw a bumper

yesterday that said, honk if you hate Bruno.

That's no help.

What do you expect, casting yourself as the lead in your own show?

I thought it would be a chance to stretch and to try something new.

I guess it's too late to back out now, isn't it?

You busy tonight?

Not if we finish surgery. Why?

I need someone to talk to about all this.

Look, I didn't even audition, remember?

I know, I know. That's why I want it to be you. You had nothing to do with the

show. You won't want any favors. It'll just be you coming over for me.

I'd say, uh, 7, 7, 15.

Fine.

Galbo.

That wasn't awful.

We'd have to work real hard to get anybody to call that awful.

People, what is the matter with you all? What is going on? Come on, talk to me,

talk to me. Don't blame me. I got a Charlie horse from rehearsing Amatulo

morning. He was wearing bowling shoes.

And a lot of people are bummed out about Vitelli cast himself in the lead role.

Yeah, that's right.

Since we got this substitute teacher for Sherwood, she got to bug up her bazooka

about adverbs or something.

Sounds like I got a real morale problem on my hands.

Well, you know what?

I'm not having it. I am not having this. Not in my dance class.

Don't you know your morale is your spirit? And your spirit is what you have

move on. Now, you all can't get so down in your spirit to where y 'all can't

learn nothing. Because you're going to always be in school.

In here, out there, everywhere you look.

Well, if school is everywhere, how come we always got to come here?

Maybe you don't.

Maybe you all need a field trip.

Yes. I think you all need some blue skies.

Yes. And a little grass under your feet. Yes.

And trees up over your heads.

Yes. Well, all right, children, go and change your clothes and put your walking

shoes on. All right.

Everybody's talking, can you see the way they're walking it?

Body language!

If you want the world to know it, all you got to do is show it with your...

language! Talk about your body when it gets into a groove with your... Body

language! All you got to do is make a little move with your body language.

Think of what you want to say, now you're talking body language.

Move your body.

Just shut up!

Your dad said it was okay to come downstairs.

Oh, it'd be kind of silly to ask you over and make you wait upstairs, I

I guess.

I still don't know why I'm here.

You're here because I need to tell you some stuff that I couldn't really say at

school. Okay.

You and me, we're more than just friends.

I mean, there's times that I tell a joke, and I know that you're the only

that gets it.

and there are times I know exactly what you're going to say even before you say

it. I mean, you know the kind of things I'm talking about.

Yeah, I do.

Right now I'm in kind of a bind.

I've made a lot of people mad at me.

I guess I'm feeling a little out there on my own. I understand.

I'm not very good at expressing myself.

No problem.

Hello, this is Elizabeth.

I can't get to the phone right now, but if you'll leave a message, I'll get back

to you as soon as I can. Don't hang up.

Hang -ups make me crazy.

Bye.

Hi, sweetie.

Just calling to see if there's anything I can bring you or whatever.

Things are wild around here, girl.

Leroy is all bummed out without you to get on his case, and Reardon's looking

like he bit off more than he can chew, and in other words, dear heart, it's all

crazy like usual, and we miss you a lot.

Well, give me a call if there's anything... I miss you, too.

Someday all this will be mine, someday all this will be mine, and someday all

this will be mine.

Good.

Okay.

You over there.

Christopher, what is it?

Someday all this will be mine, including those hilltops across the valley.

Bruno?

Have you ever heard the expression, less is more?

You mean you want me to hold back a little?

Just a smidge.

I mean, most of the scenes are going really well. Like the love scene, for

example. What I'd like to do is rehearse that. Let's get this one right first. I

mean, while we're on it.

Okay.

Christopher, what is it?

Someday. All this will be mine, including those hilltops across the

I thought with a week's worth of rehearsal under his belt, there'd be

improvement.

He's terrible.

Of course, that's certainly one way of putting it.

You disagree?

No, no, no.

I wish I could, but no.

So what are you going to do about it?

Well, I thought about trying to simplify some of this study. I mean, some of

this is kind of wordy. This whole thing got started because you wanted to run

this production the way it would be run in the real world. Now, in the real

world, what would happen to Bruno?

He'd be fired.

Oh, come on, Liddy, I can't do that. It'll kill the kid. Wound him a little,

maybe, but not as bad as if you let him go in front of an audience doing what

he's doing.

Uh -uh.

You're right.

You want me to tell him?

No. I got him into this mess. It's my responsibility.

David, you know, a lot of people brew a pot of trouble, but they're nowhere near

the kitchen when it boils over.

That's not your style, huh?

Not even close.

Honey, I think you're gonna fit in here just fine.

Now, come on. We got a lot of work to do.

Go get the dancers ready. I want to clean up after work.

That won't be easy.

Why not?

No Leroy. He left right after last period.

No Leroy? Where'd he go?

Been sick?

Nope.

Then what's wrong?

Who said there was anything wrong?

You did.

When did I say that?

Just now when I said you've been sick and you didn't get on me about my bad

grammar.

All right.

Sit down.

What's wrong is I think I broke something.

My ex -husband died last week.

I thought you said you broke something.

I did.

I thought I'd got used to it.

All the excitement when there's a production coming up at school.

All the chatter about costumes, music, sets.

All the gripes and groans when I hand out homework assignments.

What I teach has value.

And I'm sick and tired of apologizing for what I do.

I'm sick and tired of begging people to listen to me. I'm sick and tired of

trying to coax people to speak the language properly.

Sick and tired.

And when that telegram came about... Nick's death.

He had cancer.

Nobody on his side of the family had the decency to tell me he'd even been ill.

It was like I didn't matter.

To him.

To the school.

To anybody.

Anywhere.

That's when something is...

You matter to me.

I don't mean to put down who or what's hurting you, but you have what I call

white folks blues.

Yeah. I think black folks, they know all

about the blues.

You know what I mean?

They know that it's just a part of the whole deal.

It seems to me that when the blues come around, white folks get scared. They

don't get into it.

It seems like they save everything up for one big bad time.

And then they go through what you're going through right now.

You're amazing.

Nobody gets it all. Martelli can't act.

Amatulo don't dance.

You can't be perfect and happy all the time.

And you can't conjugate verbs with spit.

I'll bet you I could if you come back to school.

Will you get out of here?

See?

I'm gonna cry again.

No.

It's a good kind of crying.

Doesn't scare me at all.

Go on, Scranton.

Hey!

Thought you said you brought me something from school.

That's right.

Packers, Jets, Rams, all beat the bread.

Can you believe that?

30 bucks.

Congratulations.

Okay, now, if I remember correctly, next comes the song and then the kiss.

Okay, then Stephanie goes out and the spotlight hits Naomi here.

You, you're different.

You go your own way Come what may

You seem to do What you should do

And nothing ever gets to you

You're special They wrote

a song

I may call you foolish, but only those who

don't.

You're different.

You.

You're special.

I forgot what comes next.

Martelli!

Can I see you in the conference room?

Be right there.

Thanks for trying to help.

Uh, Bruno. I want out.

I beg your pardon?

Look, I know that you had a lot of stake in this, and I know that you went too

bad for me, and I appreciate that.

It's just that the truth of the matter is, and you know this as well as I know

it, is that if I go out there and play the lead in this thing, they're going to

have to get air fresheners in the auditorium. Bruno.

No, really. We made a huge mistake, and the best thing to do now is to admit it

to ourselves and fix it.

And proceed.

Let him at Tulu play the part.

It'll get him out of the production number. And then everybody will be

You seem pretty determined about this. Very.

Well, I'll see what I can do.

Are you kidding me?

All right, all right. Hey, I got the card.

Yeah, I told you.

Thank you.

Life has a nice melody.

The lyric leaves something to be desired.