Original subtitles

I don't own a dog. I don't plan on owning a dog. And furthermore, I don't

being called a liar by anybody. I don't care what the reason is.

Oh, stop it. Not together. No, we got to go again.

So, shall we hear the Birdman of Alcatraz?

Well, this is our chance to be the Dogman of Sing Sing.

Making music has been my claim.

Day after day, it gets down to fame.

I don't have any homework this weekend because I'm doing the benefit.

You have anything to do with that benefit, you're out of the school.

big dreams you want fame well fame comes and right here is where you start

paying and sweat

Oh, good morning.

What are you doing here, sir?

Or madam, as the case may be.

Let me guess.

Either you're wearing the most incredible leg warmers I've ever seen,

a dog.

And if you're a dog, you know what?

You're getting out of here right now.

Oh, no, you don't.

Sherwood, you all right? Oh, thank you, Tim. I'm fine, really.

You better watch it, jogging inside like that.

I usually do the floors this time of morning before the kids get here.

I wasn't jogging. I was chasing that idiot dog.

What dog?

The dog that was... You didn't see a dog come tearing past you about three

seconds before I made my graceful entrance?

No, I didn't.

Well... Weren't you out here?

Oh, I sure was.

Right over there.

I didn't see any dog.

Okay.

Thanks for your help, Tim.

Take care.

You be the one taking care. I wasn't the one who fell down.

What are you doing here? Come here.

I'm in enough trouble.

Now, where's Bertie?

Where's Bertie, you jerk? Go find Bertie. Go on. Go find him.

Passé.

Hold his balance. Be there. Come on.

Keep your center.

Passé. Now, really turn this knee out. Roll this leg.

Roll over. Right.

And passe.

Pull up, darling. Come on.

Put it way back.

Come on, honey. Pull up. Pull up. You can get rid of this. And releve.

Hold. And five, six, and seven, eight. Come on. Pull up. Pull up.

Parabas. Come through.

Devlopay arabesque and turn around.

Potty beret.

Fourth and pirouette.

Tendu. Close fifth.

Tendu. Other side and... Mrs. Sharofsky.

What are you doing?

I'm measuring, and your room is perfect.

Oh, thank you. Perfect for what?

My doctor says I need exercise and uses the only room in the school where I can

store my equipment.

What sort of equipment are we talking about here?

Table tennis.

Falls hard up against the wall when I'm not using it. You know about it all.

You're talking about a ping -pong table? Please, table tennis, not ping -pong.

Well, yes, but...

Well, are you sure that's going to be enough exercise for you? I mean, what

about real tennis? You know, they have indoor courts you can use.

Table tennis is very real, thank you.

And what you call real tennis is bad for pianos.

Builds up the forms in the wrong way.

Loses flexibility.

Well, it's just that it's going to start looking like a summer camp around here.

Aren't we the cute ones, though? We are just so funny.

It's all right with you, then?

Sure, fine, whatever.

Blessings. I'll tell them to bring it on up. Mrs. Giroux.

Get on back in this room.

Oh, I know that must be the high point of your day.

Oh, and I'm so happy for you because you're getting ready to hit the low

right now.

Give me 50 entre -chicot royales. And since we want to all be so together and

cute, if anybody misses one jump or beat, we start again until we all get it

right together.

see them jump.

You're going to be wishing for a heart transplant in about 30 seconds.

Five, six, seven. Are

you

done

already? Oh, no, I'm not, but something's wrong. About what?

She's been like that the whole class.

I ask her what's wrong and she just waves me off.

All right, Montgomery, you go back to your seat.

I'll take care of this.

Doris, are you all right?

Sure. Doris, have a witness.

Well, I have to admit, I'm a little sad.

Mad.

Confused. Why?

It's that time of year.

Time of year?

I... I, uh... I... I, uh... What?

Allergies.

Oh, I see.

And that's what the tears and the sniffles are about.

Uh -huh.

Anytime I get a... People who grow flowers.

Places that are dusty.

Certain kinds of material.

Bless you.

Thank you.

Dogs. Or anybody who's been around dogs.

And there was a dog.

Bless you.

Thank you.

I gotta go see my allergist this afternoon.

I gotta get some shots.

Doris, before you get those shots, could you do me a favor?

I can.

In the old days, miners used to take canaries with them down into the mines.

theory being that any poison gas would knock out the little canaries long

it could affect a grown man, giving the miners time to escape.

All this has to do with a favor?

I want to get you with Mr. O 'Banion, the janitor, to be my canary in the

Straight ahead now. Good.

Mr. Swierowski, is that a ping -pong table?

This is a table tennis table.

Around the corner.

Second group to your left.

Put it up against the wall.

Miller.

Sixth period. Do you have a rehearsal hour scheduled? Is this correct?

Yes. I'm rehearsing the Schumann concerto.

Nonsense. A waste of time. You have that down pat.

What do you think I should rehearse?

Miller.

Did you ever play table tennis?

Look at that. Beautiful.

You got plenty of air coming through there.

Well, I'd appreciate it if you'd check the vent in the back of the room as

It seems to take forever for us to get any heat in here once the thermostat

kicks in.

Well, it may take forever, but you gotta remember this is a pretty old building.

Things slow up when you get older.

People and things.

Back to life. Just check it out, please.

All right.

Maybe I could get somebody over to really check this out, but I don't think

necessary. I think it's doing just fine the way it is if you want to know the

truth. Yes, I want to know the truth, but I'm not talking about anything

concerning the vent.

I'm not sure I know what we're talking about. We're talking about that dog I

in here this morning.

A dog in school? Is that such a big deal to you?

I couldn't care less about a dog in the school. What I do care about is someone

I work with lying to me.

And I think that's what you did this morning. I'd like to know why, please.

You think Tim O 'Banion's a liar, is that what you're saying?

Oh, Tim, for heaven's sakes, if you're keeping a... No, no, it's not Tim.

It's Mr. O 'Banion, thank you very much. If you're Miss Sherwood, I'm Mr. O

'Banion to you.

All right.

All I'm trying to do... And another thing, I don't own a dog. I never owned

dog. I don't plan on owning a dog.

And furthermore, I don't like being called a liar by anybody. I don't care

the reason is.

We're done.

I think Mr. Barnum's going to pay a fortune for this act. Doris, come on.

Do you have to be anywhere in a hurry? I mean a hurry to go home.

I live there. I go there. I recognize my father. He remembers who I am. It's

really kind of nice.

Could you put it off for an hour or so?

Why? I need some help with a deprived childhood.

I gave at the office.

No, listen, when I was little, nobody ever taught me how to sneak.

Where do you want to sneak to?

The janitor's office.

Why?

Because this morning, Mr. O 'Banion became a person.

It's probably the full moon.

No, I mean, there are people who aren't really people.

They're just there.

Gas station attendants, movie ticket takers, school janitors. You know, it's,

good morning, Mr. O 'Banion, how you doing? And you never even slow down to

what he has to say.

And this morning, this transformation happened.

Yeah. He looked like he was going to cry.

I think he lied to Ms. Sherwood about something.

Could someone tell me what we're talking about?

Doris had a depraved childhood.

She needs sneaking lessons.

Intel band?

Janitor's office is down there. Yeah, and if we get caught down there... No, O

'Banion's on the third floor waxing. He won't be down there for at least a

couple hours.

Yeah, and if he's got a dog and he's got it cooped up in there, it's not fair.

Doris, life isn't fair.

God put Bo Derek on Earth to prove that.

Doris, it's a lot like breaking an entrance.

Whose side are you on?

I'm committed to freedom.

My freedom.

So come on, let's get out of here. Okay, fine.

I'll break and enter. You cut and run.

Suits me fine.

Dosh, are we here in the Birdman of Alcatraz?

Well, this is our chance to be the Dogman of Sing Sing.

We're deep in dog territory.

Take my word for it.

told you there was a dog.

Yeah, look how unhappy and mistreated the poor thing is.

Hey, look, what's this?

That's Mr.

O 'Banion. He was a dancer. This is Broadway stuff here.

Who's this?

Bertie Whalen.

Bertie Whalen.

My grandma talks about him all the time. She said he was the best.

There's no one that even comes close.

Oh, he's probably gone by now.

Not quite, young lady.

I'm very much here.

And quite pleased about it, if I do say so myself.

Oh, would you care to join me in a cup of tea?

You've been here how long?

Oh, about three months.

Ever since I got booted out of my room.

I couldn't come up with the rent.

Had to spend the money on medicine.

What do you need the medicine for?

Well, I fell down and broke my hip.

And Mr. O 'Banion fixed this place up for you? No, no, no, no, not at first.

The first thing he did was to try to get me in with him at his place, but they

don't take pets there, you know. And I've been with Clumpy, or he's been with

me, ever since I stopped dancing.

That's too many years to throw away just because of what it says on some lease.

I think that's terrific.

To fall down and break your hip and get thrown out of your room?

Not really, young man. No, I mean to have a friendship with someone, like you

and Mr. O 'Banning have.

It's something that lasts for decades.

Well, we were not friends till I fell down and broke my hip.

Why not?

Well, because producers were always trying to play us against each other.

know, if they wanted me for a part, they never failed to let Timmy know about

it. And if they really wanted Timmy, they never failed to mention my name as

possibility. And when you broke your hip?

Well, when I broke my hip...

God love him.

He came to me and... I came to him and said, I said, Bertie,

you and I have gone through times, done things few other human beings have

known.

There are tales we can tell that only you and I can truly understand.

And, you know, it seems a shame for each of us to ignore the only audience that

either one of us has got left.

That's right. That's what he said.

That's what got me and old Clumpy here.

Only question now is, are you going to get to stay here?

Because if any one of those teachers upstairs finds out that Bertie's staying

down here, he'll be out on his ear and I'll be out of a job.

Well, you can't expect to stay here forever.

Well, just until we can raise another $3 ,000, huh?

You see, a friend of Bertie's runs a trailer camp down in Bradenton, Florida.

Now, with what we've got so far, plus another $3 ,000, we can make a down

payment on a trailer and place in the park. Yeah, we'll put our touches in the

sand and our hooks in the water.

Just as long as nobody upstairs finds out what's going on down here.

Well, if they won't. Then you can count on it. We'd better get back upstairs

before someone comes looking for us.

Thanks for the tea. Yeah, thank you very much.

Thanks. Is there anything I can get you?

Anything we can do?

Yes.

Yes, you can tell Leroy not to argue with Miss Grant so much.

What? I can hear the dance class through the vents.

She's a good teacher.

She knows what she's talking about.

Now, all he's got to do is listen.

Just a little bit harder.

Okay.

I'll pass it on.

I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings too much, but it sure felt good talking

to somebody besides you.

I think I can handle it.

You might have some making up to do with Clumpy, though.

Okay, Mr. Sharofsky. Serving. Zip, zip.

What was that?

That was the opening serve.

It was a floating insult.

Now serve properly, please.

Okay, but Mr. Sharofsky, like I said, pretty good at this game.

Humor me.

Okay.

Okay.

Zero serving one.

Herschel, Doris?

Yeah. Uh, Mr. Wood.

I got to thinking after class, and I remembered it's not dogs I'm allergic

It's cats.

You just remembered this?

Yeah, well, see, I heard you talking to Mr. O 'Banion, and he seemed so sincere

about not lying about there being no dog.

And then I remembered that it's not dogs I'm allergic to. It's cats.

This just happened to come to you as you overheard us talking, huh?

Yeah, well, see, after... Actually, I'm allergic to both, but dogs give me a

cherry rash. It's cats that make me sneeze.

And you have to admit, he did seem very sincere when he told you he wasn't

lying. He never told me that.

Sure he did.

I heard him.

Doris, I'm quite careful about words and their meaning.

Now, what he said was that he didn't own a dog, that he wouldn't own a dog, and

that he didn't like being called a liar by anybody. And I believe that last

part, because he didn't like it one little bit, and he was lying.

You know something?

You'd make a terrific lawyer.

I think I would have been particularly good at spotting perjury.

21 to 3. He killed me, that silly old 21 to 3. And I think he let up on me

towards the end. I could die.

See you tomorrow.

Have a nice evening.

How do we know whether or not I listened to the woman? He can hear through the

vents. He can tell that much just by listening? That's what he says.

Both of them were pretty big in the old days.

That's bad. I mean, two old guys like that having to hide out in a little room

in a basement.

But the main thing is not to let everyone know they're down there. So

telling anyone about them. All right.

Yesterday I went down to the 42nd Street Library.

I looked it up. Did they check out?

Yeah.

They were the best.

Either one of them could have packed the theater.

Lots of choreographers still study the stuff they were doing in the 40s. Does

Miss Grant know that a janitor in this school is... No, and don't tell her.

It's very important the whole school does not realize what is really going on

downstairs.

All right, I understand.

My dad said no one even came close to what they did. He said he stood in line

for hours to see them.

Did they ever dance together?

No, they were always rivals, he said.

First rivals, last friends.

Now, that's sad. We ought to try to do something for them.

Helped them raise the money they need.

Yeah, well, the main thing is not to noise this thing around. We don't want

many people finding out about this.

Hey, Doris, I don't want to be pussy, but if I can help, I want to help. On

stage, off stage, wherever you think.

Thank you.

What are we talking about?

The benefit for Tim O 'Banion and Bertie Whalen.

How did you find out about them?

Well, Montgomery mentioned it in biology.

And Julie was talking in history about raising some money for them. And

Well, everybody knows about it, Doris.

Absolutely everybody.

Everybody knows about what? Nothing.

Everybody knows nothing.

That's why we're here. In school. To learn. And we're all here learning.

And I'm very, very proud to be here.

Doris, are you practicing to accept some kind of award, sweetheart?

Michelle, honey, come on. I need you to help me out with the freshman class

after school. And I'm going to bribe you with some yogurt.

Dopey idea.

Adolescent.

So who better to pull it off than a bunch of dopey adolescents?

According to these figures, financially, we could make it work out.

$5 a ticket is not out of line for something like this. And if we can get a

place that seats 500, 600 people, we'd be home free.

Hey, the Knights of St. Anthony seats about that. Maybe a little less.

A few people could stand.

The main thing is we can deliver the act. Clearly enough people are

in this thing to make it work out.

There's something very wrong with all of this.

It's running too smoothly.

Precisely. Why do you two always look for trouble?

I mean, there's two guys who need help, and everybody wants to help. I can get

the lodge for free.

Everything's folding right in, so why look for problems? Why ignore them when

they're staring you right in the face?

Like what? Like when are we going to start rehearsing? I mean, we have to do

things for school.

Do you think the teachers would refuse to allow us to help two people like Mr.

'Banion and Mr. Whalen?

Any one of the teachers would do anything to help people like that. Hold

Time out.

Leroy's right.

Bruno and I aren't as cynical as you may think.

Look, the teachers would not try to stop us. The teachers don't have a choice.

We tell them we want to do a benefit. They say, who for?

We tell them Bertie Whalen. Then they find out that Bertie Whalen is living

downstairs in the janitor's office.

Listen, they'd have no choice but to ask them to leave.

That's the rules of the school, and they have to live by them.

And he couldn't go back to Mr. O 'Banion's because of the dog.

If he tried to get a place of his own, that eats up part of the savings they

wanted to use to get to Florida.

You know, it seems like more and more rules are being made to keep people from

helping each other around here. And the trains still do not run on time.

You're all being very logical and very realistic.

And you're about to let logic and reality talk you out of something you

want to see happen.

Hey, Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland did not think logically when they were

putting on a show.

Doris, my mom doesn't have an attic full of clothes and your pop doesn't have a

barn. The times have changed.

Besides, you were the one who said all that stuff about the, uh, rules.

For once in your life, ignore me.

Look, I don't know which way this is all gonna turn out, but either we build a

bridge or build a wall.

Those two old guys used to be us.

Someday we're gonna be them. And I'd like to think there'll be someone there

help me when I get to the short end of the string.

You know, someone who can't enough not to let rules tell them what to do.

Phoenicia, Derek, would you please go in there and put that ping -pong table up

against the wall for me, please?

Mr. Sharofsky.

Yes, good morning. How are you?

I'm fine, thank you. You left that ping -pong table.

Whatever you call it, you left it in the middle of the dance floor. Now, you

were supposed to store it up against the wall. That was our agreement.

Not my fault, I'm sorry. Not your fault?

I played Mr. Crandall last night. Beat him three straight.

21 -4, 21 -3, 21 -5.

He just stormed out after the last game. I couldn't move the table by myself.

Well, Mr. Sharofsky, sometimes I come in early to rehearse. Now, I can't move

that big thing by myself either. Now, what are we going to do about that?

Do you happen to play?

No, I do not.

I thought possibly you could settle it.

Play two out of three. I do not play, Mr.

Sharofsky.

Pity.

Tanisha, Derek, didn't I just ask you to put that thing up?

Be another two or three minutes yet.

Hey, you want to know what happened to that soap opera you like so much?

You bet.

Cindy died.

What?

Well, I told you yesterday she was in intensive care.

Yeah, but you didn't make it sound like she was going to die.

Well, she didn't look that sick, to tell you the truth.

Well, couldn't you build up to it a little? I mean, soften the blow?

Not just Cindy died.

She was a little attacked or something.

Okay.

Cindy entered a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest.

She won, and she's still competing.

Buddy.

meet two friends of mine.

This is Leroy Johnson and this is Julie Miller.

Leroy, Julie.

Hey, you're the dancer I've heard so much about, right?

Yes, sir.

I watch him sometimes in the booth.

He's good.

Really? You bet.

Well, go ahead.

That's why you came, Leroy.

Go ahead.

Well, I don't want to bother you guys any, but I'd like to ask you both a

question.

Yeah, yeah.

Sure, sure. Go ahead. What is it? Fire away.

Well... I'm sort of like just getting started in this dancing thing. And I was

wondering, have you guys ever regret being dancers? I mean, ever, in all

years?

Never. Not once.

You sure?

Leroy, all dancing is is the ability to move the way children imagine angels

move.

Now, who could ever regret being able to do something like that?

It's being able to carve a statue out of thin air.

And you're the statue and the sculptor. all at the same time, and even if the

routine is always the same, that stature you were making changes with each new

performance. You know something? At this benefit, I'm going to dance my butt off

for you guys.

Don't do that.

You need the counterbalance on spins.

Isn't that right, Bertie? It sure is. You should know.

Oh, that's good.

I just thought I'd come in here early to rehearse. You don't mind if I do that,

do you?

No. Since you're always telling me to rehearse, well, here I am, bright and

early, ready to rehearse, just like you're always telling me to.

Leroy, why are you talking so loud?

I guess I'm talking loud because I'm so full of energy, that's it.

You ever get up in the morning and you're so full of energy that you just

wait till you get in here to rehearse? Well, yes, sometimes, but I don't... Was

that pretty good?

Well, that was fierce.

What do you call that step in French?

Cabriolet grand jeté.

That's it. So I just did a pretty fierce cabriolet grand jeté. How about that?

And I came in here early to do it this morning.

Well, Leroy, I must say I am impressed.

Thank you, Miss Grant. You know what? I think I'm going to keep doing stuff like

this until I get the hang of it.

Shoot, I thought I got rid of that cold.

I think I better ease up off these early rehearsals, Miss Grant. The air's kind

of damp in here.

Leroy, you better do something about that cough now.

Don't you worry, Miss Grant.

I will.

You can count on it.

What's this place?

Lady in my building overheard me talking about this exercise kick you're on, and

she asked if I could set up a match between the two of you.

That's her name, and she'll be calling you.

Mrs. Peyton Smythe.

Sounds English.

It is. Her husband's with the trade delegation at the U .N. Is Mrs. Peyton

Smythe a good sport? Because I'm likely to beat her, you know.

Well, she said she played some ping -pong when she was in school, but that

10 or 15 years ago, and she hasn't played again since then.

Fine, have her give me a call by all means.

I will do my best to keep it close.

You are so considerate.

Hi.

Who rained on your parade?

I picked up my dry cleaning this morning. That was in the window.

It's about a benefit featuring performers from the School of the Arts.

Well, if it's for some kind of charity.

I'm sure that's how the kids are looking at it.

But I did some calling, some checking around. Any of our students that put on

that stage Saturday night, they're out of this school like a shot.

And no more than a thousand words and no less than 500. And please, take some

care with your handwriting.

I mean, half the time I can't tell whether I'm supposed to be reading an

or breaking some sort of secret code.

Schwartz, Miller, Johnson, Amatillo, stick around.

Party slips? What for?

Because you're going to be late for your next class.

We had some talking that we did.

About what?

About how you're going to cancel the so -called benefit tomorrow night.

Well, I'm not going to be late for my next class because I'm not listening to

any of that talk. If you have anything to do with that benefit, you're out of

the school.

Period.

Why? For trying to help somebody?

No. For breaking a rule of the school.

A rule that's there for a reason.

and a rule that won't be changed or appealed regardless of good motives.

What rule?

Mr. O 'Banion is an employee of the Board of Education.

Students raising money for employees to use for personal benefit is not allowed

under any circumstances.

It looks as if you're courting favor. It looks as if it might be a bribe. Excuse

me, isn't it a little difficult to court favor from a janitor? An employee is an

employee. The rule doesn't make any differentiation between a supervisor and

janitor and a teacher. No employee accepts money from any student for any

reason. And you think we'd get expelled?

I think there's a good chance of it, yes.

Well, I don't have any homework this weekend, because I'm doing the benefit.

Leroy, that's very noble. Look, don't you know who Mr. O 'Banion and Bertie

Whelan are? Don't you know who they used to be?

Look, they were very special people. You can look it up. I know what Mr. O

'Banion used to do. And I don't want to hear any of you mention the name of

Bertie Whalen because I don't want to know anything about him or where he

happens to be living at the moment. Because if I knew about it, I might have

do something about it. But since I don't know about it, there's nothing I can

do. Do I make myself clear?

You really were talking to the people tonight, St. Anthony, weren't you?

Yes. And you're in a box, right?

And if we were having this conversation, I would have to tell you that I don't

see any way for you to do what you're trying to do without jeopardizing your

place here.

But since we're really not having this conversation, and you're not officially

telling us... Because I do not officially know anything about Bertie

I wasn't slamming the door.

It sure sounded like it.

Well, I was slamming the situation. I wasn't slamming you.

Thanks for clearing that up.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What do you think?

Thing of beauty, isn't she?

Where did me sign the papers on it last night?

It's so banging.

She's gorgeous.

Really, never seen a better one. Thank you.

Congratulations to you both.

Doris.

You're right. We're going to be late for our next period.

Really a thing of beauty.

A definite ten.

Ah, beautiful.

Now if we could just keep up the payment.

Doris. What are you, crazy?

You know what Miss Sherwood said.

There's a way.

There's always a way. There's got to be a way.

All we got to do is find it.

May I help you?

Are you Mr. Sharofsky?

Yes.

I'm Mrs. Peyton Smythe.

I believe Lydia Grant mentioned me to you.

You are Mrs. Peyton Smythe?

Yes. Hello.

Hello. Lovely coat.

Thank you.

Benjamin, I was just on my way home.

Hey, why don't I give you a hand setting this up so you all can get started?

You told me she was English. No, you told me her name sounded English, and I

told you her husband was with the trade delegation at the U .N.

He is English.

He'd been doing the same job when he met her a few years ago. Where did he meet

her?

Canton, China.

I'm told the Chinese are very good table tennis players.

Do tell.

Well, you two kids have a good time, and I can't wait to hear how everything

turns out.

Where's the pity?

If there weren't such a big turnout, we could look the other way.

Ladies and

gentlemen, it's my pleasure to announce the host of tonight's festivities, Mr.

Montgomery McNeil.

Some of you may not know what the purpose of this evening is. Well, it's

to tell you.

We're here to honor courage tonight and loyalty and love between two kindred

spirits.

The kind of love that accepts and forgets.

Tonight, we have the great good fortune to honor... Clumpy.

when Clumpy walked out here, but he suffers from an arthritic hip.

And although it may look like he's walking on four legs, he really has only

three to rely on.

Now, we're here to raise money to send Clumpy to a warmer climate where he can

run in the fields and rest his bones. But I think it would be a great

to just drop him off at Kennedy Airport with a tourist ticket in his mouth.

Those two gentlemen have graciously offered to be Clumpy's traveling

and his watchdog.

So it's clumpy we're honoring tonight. That's what the money's for.

Not a teacher or a person.

Welcome to the first annual clumpy fund.

Making music has been my claim.

Day after day it can sound the same.

Look for the hook is the name of the game.

Going for the fortunate fame.

And even when it is sounding good, there's something that should be

Though I'm doing what I want to do, I've really got to share it with you.

The music -

A few nights ago, this young man came up to Tim and myself and asked us how we

felt about dancing.

Well, I forgot to mention one very important thing to him about that when

asked us, and that is because of dancing, we feel young.

Because as long as a dancer can tap his toe and count up to four in the clear...

Not easy.

He'll be a dancer, and dancers are always young.

Oh, there are some that are smooth and some that are wrinkled, but

we're all young.

You know, there's one problem with being a hoofer in situations like this.

We never have an ending to the act.

I mean, there's no such thing for guys like Bertie and me.

No such thing as talking up to a big finish.

We weren't taught that way.

Matter of fact, one time a student of Ohio...

The Vanderbilt have asked us up for tea.

Here we go.

We would drive up the avenue, but we haven't

got the price. We would skate up the avenue, but

there isn't any ice.

We would ride on a bicycle, but we haven't got

a bike.

Yes, we walk up the avenue. And we walk

up the avenue.