Original subtitles

Mr. Martelli, did I say something to offend you?

I just can't believe you're telling us we should be writing jingles. Oh, you

think you're too good for cookie snaps.

That's right.

She needs a whip and a chair!

Higher! Faster!

More! Again!

Can't you do anything right?

You got big dreams.

You want fame.

Well, fame comes.

And right here is where you starve pain and sweat.

Morning. Hi.

Wait!

What are you doing in here?

What, I need a permit to be in the hallway?

I'm a teacher here. I thought I saw you in there.

No, that's my alter ego.

She's getting ready for her midterm choreography exam.

Coca? Miss Hernandez, if you please.

How's she doing?

Well, I'm trying to give her as much space as possible.

But from what I've seen, you got them listening to her, you got them working.

That's half the battle won. I quit. Simple as that. I quit. Just get

somebody else. Is that so hard? Because I quit. Leroy, you can't quit.

Look, you better change the name of this number to the Dance of the Invisible

Man because I'm not going to be here. What, are you afraid of a little work,

huh? A little work? You call that in there a little work? Miss Grant, this

is giving this place a bad rep. I'm telling you. You should have seen what

was doing in there. She needs a whip and a chair.

Higher, faster, more, again.

Your honeymoon night is going to be some kind of record breaker, baby.

Keep me out of this. You have to keep me out of this. This is your project from

start to finish. That's the deal. That's what midterms are all about. Now when

he's out... Oh, no.

No English teaching person here. Don't even try to get me involved.

Adios. She's right, Coco.

Adios.

Leroy, who gave you the right to quit this? President Lincoln. That's who gave

me the right. He stopped that kind of stuff you're doing years ago.

Leroy, you quit this and your midterm grade is going to be zero.

You trying to tell me Miss Graham gave me an F for that? That's right, as in

fail. What,

you still gonna quit?

I'm going to the bathroom. Can I go to the bathroom?

Is my constitution the right end?

Just don't start without me.

So I said to him, Puccini is good, but Martelli's better.

The guy tells me that he agrees.

Says he's heard everything that Martelli has written.

Pop, you gotta stop picking up weirdos. If I stop picking up weirdos, I'm out of

business.

Should you have finished that last night?

Hey, look, things sort of stack up around midterm.

Hope the homework is not the only thing that's stacking up.

Aunt Beatrice's baby is due in two weeks, right?

Right. And she's waited a long time for this baby, Bruno.

Having a lullaby written by you, that would be icing on the cake.

She'd be proud, I'd be proud.

Icing on the cake.

Yeah. When the baby is born, the lullaby will be finished. I promise. I will not

forget.

Ah, I forgot.

Forgot what? Look, we...

Synthesizer last night. It's sitting on top of the console. Seriously, we've got

to get back now.

All right.

I'll go back after I drop you off.

Is that a waste of time for you? Better a waste of time for me than a late slip

for you.

Especially around midterms.

Whatever they are.

All right, all right. Look, I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

Hey, forget about it. It doesn't take much to make me happy.

Just finish the lullaby for your amnesis, baby.

Get good grades at school.

Get plenty of sleep. Take care of your health.

Pick your friends carefully. Don't fall in with a bad crowd.

Pop. Brush your hair after every meal, have a concert at Lincoln Center before

I'm too old to appreciate it. Vote Democratic, accept an emergency, and

swimming right after a heavy meal.

What about clean underwear?

I was just getting to that.

Ah, there you are.

How's he ever remember what's what I could hardly handle a stick shift and

at all of this

Oh

Danny

boy the pipes the pipes are calling

From glen to glen and down the mountainside.

It's great.

You'll have to talk with that if you ever saw me now.

The summer's gone and all the roses fall.

This thing's burning.

Oh!

Oh! Gee!

Oh, I unplugged the wrong cord.

Five minutes, what could it hurt?

Reporting for duty.

What are you talking about?

I made the group.

I made the group that's backing you guys up for midterm. All right, look, you

better be good, because I'm going to be fantastic.

Wait, wait, who said that you're part of the group?

Bruno, you told me two seconds ago. He said that you're also putting me on the

list. Well, listen, I don't really know if you're good casting for this. Do you

know what I mean?

No, I don't know what you mean.

Well, maybe I better talk to Sharofsky about it. Maybe you better talk to Julie

Miller and right now. Julie, don't you get loud with me. Don't you think my

music is good enough?

Your music has nothing to do with this.

That's what I was chosen for, my music. If that has nothing to do with it, then

what has?

I'm just going to talk to Sharofsky.

What's the matter with her?

Look, Julie, don't even pay her no mind. I promise you, if she kicks you out of

here, her lead dancer will come down with a case of the tutu flu. She won't

believe it.

Know that I'm okay before you turn around.

Pop, what happened? I had a small bump, a slight burn, a tiny sprain. No big

deal. You were in an accident.

Not behind the wheel. I'm too good a driver for that.

Now, what are you going to do after school?

I was going to help Danny and Doris with a midterm number.

Rehearse -like? Yeah. Where? At the house. Will you tell me what happened to

you? Maybe you shouldn't rehearse at the house. Why not?

You had to be there.

Could someone tell me why I'm here?

We're here to help Bruno buy a new synthesizer.

I don't need help, and I don't need a new synthesizer.

Bruno, I wrecked the old one.

Bruno, guilt is to a parent its fertilizer is to flowers.

Fertilizer, right. I still don't know why I'm here.

Okay, kid.

Have yourself a field day. All right.

Yo!

I got a salesman out here.

Yeah, yeah.

Hi. What can I do for you today?

What have you got in the way of synthesizing? Everything.

What price range are we talking about? Money's no object. Yes, it is. No, it's

not. Show us your best. Okay. I got a really great item for you. It's very,

hot. Everyone's buying it.

This one.

Top of the line.

This one features a built -in chorus and a digital sequencer. Hey, I don't need

a digital sequencer.

Yes, he does.

Will you listen to the man?

Well, here, why don't you sit down and give it a try, okay?

Come on.

You quiet the place down for a few minutes.

Sorry, man. There's nothing I can do.

Hey, hey.

Give the kid a break.

This thing's amazing.

It's not the machine.

all the boys may turn me on but i let temptation fly used to be so plain to

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

This is too expensive.

No, I don't want to hear another word about how much it costs.

Granted, it was a little more than I expected, but it was worth every penny.

you saw the terms they gave me. Heck, I could have the whole thing paid off in

three months.

I just had to put a little extra work in here and there, and then... I'm going

to get a part -time job.

That's not funny. I wasn't joking. I've got to help you pay for this thing.

What are you trying to do to me?

Look... You're working too hard. I'm not going to sit by and watch you work

yourself to an early grave.

Bruno, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it's out of the question.

I'm not going to let you take out time from your music. There ain't a couple of

bucks.

What's the rush?

Nobody's out there waiting for it. Yes, there is. Who? Me.

And your Aunt Beach is this new baby whenever it gets here.

Look, conversation is over. There will be no part -time job. In my house, I

the money, you make the music.

Now help me get this place cleaned up so I can drop you off at school and so I

can start paying for it.

Yeah, what you doing in here?

Still in set.

No.

I know, I know.

You want to kick me out so you can rehearse, right?

I'm going, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Well, no, I wanted to ask you a

Okay.

I'm listening.

You said I was in charge of this dance number, right?

Right.

Well, I want to get rid of one of the musicians assigned to us. Wait a minute,

wait a minute. Calm down, come back, come back. What I said was you're in

of the dancers.

The musicians, that's Mr.

Swarovski's department.

Darling, he's very protective of his people.

Very protective?

When it comes to his students, he's a teddy bear with teeth.

Well, why do you want to replace somebody?

You get somebody off the B -list?

No, that's not it.

Well, what is it then?

And who do you want to replace?

What's the point of telling you if I can't replace her?

Well, of the musicians assigned to this project, only one of them is a girl.

So you don't have to bother telling me who anymore.

But I'd be real interested to know why.

You'd laugh.

Well, child, if I laugh at your reason, how good a reason could it be?

All right.

Forget it. Forget it.

Mozart was a world -renowned celebrity by the time he was six years old.

He had gifts and praise heaped upon him wherever he went.

But unfortunately, the notoriety and riches that Mozart knew as a child

completely escaped him as an adult.

In the end, Mozart died penniless and was buried in a pauper's grave.

Mr. Swarovski, are you saying that Mozart wasn't paid for all the

operas he wrote?

At that time in Austria, composers were hired and fired by one man, the

archbishop. If he didn't like you... And he hated Mozart.

He made life very miserable.

What a jerk.

Hey, too bad they didn't have commercials back then. Mozart could have

up writing jingles.

Now, I hope you all appreciate the times you live in.

You can finance your great American symphonies by dreaming up some music for

cookie snaps.

Mr.

Martelli, did I say something to offend you?

I just can't believe you're telling us we should be writing jingles. Oh, you

think you're too good for cookie snaps.

That's right.

Mr. Martelli, let me get two things straight.

Number one, I didn't tell you to go write jingles.

I was only pointing out that they happen to be available as a means for earning

a living.

And number two, you're not too good for cookie snaps.

I've taught many gifted students who have moonlighted in commercial jingles.

I'm not putting this musical genre up on an artistic pedestal, but I'm not

putting it down either.

In fact, I'm somewhat relieved to know that a person with talent can live a

decent life and not experience the humiliation and degradation that Mozart

suffered. There is no glory in begging.

Can't you do anything right?

Hey, hey.

Come on, just start again.

Start again.

All right, let's take it from the top again.

Same place, same place. Come on.

Yeah,

I didn't do anything.

That was you this time, Miss Coco. Don't try it. Listen, it's not my fault. Can

we get it right this time?

What kind of a dance are they doing?

At the moment, none.

Coco, Mr.

Sharofsky would like to see the dance from the top, if you don't mind.

What for?

It's not going to work.

Why not?

I guess that's why not.

Danny, rehearsal at the school set?

Maybe, if you're lucky.

Look, I thought you were allowed to make mistakes during rehearsal.

I mean, what are rehearsals for?

Don't slap at me.

It's not me. Miss Coco Perfection Hernandez is in charge here.

She doesn't seem to be coming down on anyone but me.

Hey, do you think I'm just being paranoid?

Even paranoids have enemies.

How do normal folks say that word?

Paranoid? Yeah.

When you think people are against you when they're really not.

When you think you have enemies for no reason.

Oh, then relax, girl. Don't be paranoid.

Hooker's on your case for a fact.

But I don't know why.

That's easy.

There's nothing I like more than a person who wasn't even there coming up

all the answers.

The easy answers.

Listen, we all get bent about different things.

We all have a button that can be pushed.

With you, it's dancing.

You, it's the cello.

When people put those things down, you get ticked off about it. Okay, okay. So

what's that button with Coco?

What does that have to do with me?

With Coco, it's astrology.

And I'll lay you ten to one that you're the wrong sign.

She's right. I mean, that sounds about dippy enough to be correct.

I mean, faith, it takes a flake to spot a flake.

Congratulations, darling. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome, darling.

Wait a minute. So what am I supposed to do?

I can't change when I was born.

I just pointed out the problem.

I don't do solutions.

You live, baby.

They don't want any comics. I already checked.

Any ads for electronic synthesizer players?

There were, probably before a Cookie Snap commercial.

You had to be there.

Yeah. If you really want a job... Doing what?

Playing the accordion. You know how to play the accordion, right?

First instrument I ever learned. Then look at this.

Accordion player wanted for world -renowned Maury Goldman and the Goldman

Band. 40 years in the business.

Tryouts required. Let me see it.

Hey, uh, you're welcome.

Anytime.

that Mr. Goldman gets right back to you.

Here comes that nasty tone.

Hello, my name is Bruno Martelli, and I'm calling about the position at

Accordion in your band.

My number is... I can't really give you my number.

It's, uh, none of your business.

Look, my name is Martelli, and I'm coming down tomorrow about a job with

band, period.

Have a nice...

Yo! Down here!

Not to worry.

Just a precaution.

Pop?

Just a little whiplash. No big deal. What happened?

I was coming to the line at Kennedy. My foot slipped off the brake.

I guess I might have knotted off there a second or two. You fell asleep at the

wheel? I knotted off for a second there. No big deal. How long are you supposed

to wear that thing?

Three, four days.

No big deal. Yeah, no big deal. I know. Look, Pop, you're working too hard.

A person works hard when they get nothing back for their work.

I get back.

Got no complaints.

Well, I've got a complaint.

What? I'm worried about you, about your health.

Look, I'd rather compose with wax paper and a comb and have you around and have

this whole set up and not have you here to share it.

I'd also like to know why you... Why what? Look, other kids in school, they

parents who want them to succeed.

And they work hard to help their kids.

But you, you're hyper.

How come?

Bruno. The one thing about driving a cab is you get just so good at it.

It's good cab drivers, bad cab drivers.

No great cab drivers.

I'm a so -so piano player.

I can carry a tune singing.

The only thing I can be great at is being your father.

That's what I'm shooting for.

But maybe I'm overdoing it a bit.

A bit.

Maury Goldman Band Agency.

Be with you in a second.

Yes. Can I help you?

Oh, yes, of course we do children's parties.

How old will she be?

Five. Well, then, I'd recommend what we call the Spaniel Special.

All the band members wear cute little hats with long, floppy ears. The

love it.

Well, you call us back after you've talked to little Patty Lynn and let us

You're Martelli?

Yeah, how'd you know?

I had two messages on the machine yesterday.

You don't look like a stripping xylophonist named Tempest, so you must

accordion player named Martelli.

Yep, that's me.

What's your suit size?

You about a 36 regular?

Yeah, something like that. Why?

Well, that's what Benny was.

Be senseless to throw out the suit just because he choked to death on a chicken

croquette. Benny is the reason why there's an opening in the band.

I'm Minnie Goldman.

You play that thing in there, you got yourself a job. Look, I gotta warn you,

I'm not one for wearing hats with long floppy ears.

Oh, we never have accordion players at children's parties.

I mean, the kids always think there's something trapped in there trying to get

out.

Trapped.

Okay.

Um, after I audition for you, will I have to audition for Mr. Goldman?

You want to audition for Mr. Goldman, you have to hold a say on it.

He's been gone eight years now.

That's Maury there.

The picture above the penguins.

Taken at Leone's, 1948.

The Donato wedding.

He had a mustache back then.

What a devil with the ladies he was.

Next to him there, that fast Eddie Needleman. He sat in with Louis

once. Never let you forget it.

And next to him there, that little Benny Davis.

Prince of the polka.

We all had a good time for a lot of years.

What would you like me to play?

Anything but Lady of Spain.

Mr. Sharofsky, we are not supposed to butt in. This is the kids' dance

What kind of a dance without a choreographer?

Mr. Johnson, where's Miss Hernandez?

I don't know. I'm not her keeper.

This is your midterm.

Don't you care about it? Sure I care, but if other dancers in the school could

put this together, you know. That's pretty cold -blooded, Leroy.

I thought you and Coco were friends.

Yeah, well, me and the old Cocoa's friends, I don't even know this new one,

I'm not sure I want to.

What is he talking about?

I don't know.

But just give me some time, Mr. Sharofsky. I'll find out. The time is

to give.

Midterms are midterms. If this group is ready, whoopee. If they're not ready,

that's too bad. The amount of time is not going to change.

Good luck.

And I want some answers.

Now, Julie, I know there's something going on between you and Coco. What is

Is it some kind of personal thing, some kind of argument?

No.

Not the way you mean. Well, what is it, then?

Is it some kind of prejudice thing?

Not exactly.

All right, Julie, do you think you have the skill and talent to be a part of

this project?

Yes. Well, so does Mr.

Sharofsky. And in this school, skill and talent are the only things any student

is ever going to be judged on.

Now, I don't know what kind of trash is getting in the way here, but you all

better clean it up and clean it up fast.

It is Coco, isn't it?

Yeah.

I wasn't sure.

The Coco I know usually barges right in.

Well, maybe this isn't the Coco you know.

Well, come on in anyway.

Come on.

Do you believe in astrology?

No. But I know that you do.

Yeah, I do.

Bad horoscope?

Hey, I'm not making fun of you.

Okay.

Can I talk to you about some stuff I believe?

I think it's absolutely ridiculous not to Coco.

I'm sure there are musicians and dancers who disagree, as well as some teachers.

None of that is important.

What's important is that we help Coco resolve this thing.

Before midterms, I hope.

Elizabeth, if you're going to cater to this kind of nonsense, this isn't

catering. This is acknowledging her feelings.

Oh no.

Thank you.

Where's your monkey in the tin cup?

What are you dressed for?

Um, I don't suppose you'd believe a school concert.

Not five o 'clock Saturday afternoon.

Come on, Bruno, what?

What's that?

It's Grandpa's accordion. I can see that, but what are you doing with it?

I was just going out for a while.

Bruno, what's going on?

I'm going to work. Work?

What kind of a job is it?

A dance band.

You're playing for who?

Moose Lodges? Elk?

Among other places.

I don't believe it.

Whether you believe it or not, I've got to get going. Bruno, you haven't exactly

been leveling with me, have you?

I'm only trying to help. Bruno, you dressing like this, that's not helping.

You staying away from your music, that's not helping.

I don't want you to take this job, Bruno.

I gotta go. I gave him my word.

You give your word to strangers, and you lie to your old man.

A dramatist has two major responsibilities.

Number one, to write a line that makes sense.

And number two, to write a next line that makes sense.

Now, this is a little bit difficult when you stop to consider all the different

things that next line can say.

I'm going to try an experiment.

I'm going to read you a few lines from a play, and then I want you to think

about what the next line should be.

Don't try to guess what the author wrote. Just think about what you would

Remember, I'm not an acting teacher.

Ben, angrily.

This family's home is a proud one.

We're special people.

Joseph, not true.

Not for me. I'm as average as they come.

Ben, you're my son.

That makes you special.

Who wants to write the next one?

Doris? Well, when the father says, we're special, I say, Dad, you're adopted.

No, I don't think the character would say that. Doris Schwartz would say that.

Hey, I'm a comedy writer.

Do we have any dramatists here?

No hands?

All right, I'll pick someone.

Hey, since I don't plan on ever writing a play, you should really pick on

someone else.

I will.

As soon as you're done.

And you take the toothpick out of your mouth.

Well, I guess I'd have the son tell his father to take his goldfish out for a

walk.

Why would you have him say that?

He sounds like a typical father.

You know, treating his son like he doesn't have the right to his own

June? I'd have Joseph turn to his father and say, you know, I'm sorry, Dad,

you're right.

We're not a dime a dozen.

But we're not just father and son either.

We're friends.

And friends are so important to each other, even when they're a royal pain.

Go on, Julie.

You know, Joseph is lucky.

He has his father right there with him.

And some people don't.

And they really depend on their friends.

If there's a hassle, these kind of friends, well, they ought to work it

They have to talk about it.

They can't just ignore each other.

People, there'll be a quiz tomorrow.

And workbooks and plenty of pencils. That's a question.

The New York Roller people.

I've heard about this. Where did you get it?

A little place in the village on Jane Street. I underlined a passage on page

125. I think you ought to read it.

Above all, allow nothing, not even your stars, to rule your better judgment.

Why did you buy this for me?

Well, I'm not a big football fan either, but if I could get a friend into the

Super Bowl, I think I would.

But you still think astrology is a lot of mumbo -jumbo magic.

Coco, I don't know about what you call mumbo -jumbo.

But there is a kind of magic I believe in.

I believe in it very deeply.

And I've seen it happen around here more than once.

It's the magic of you kids on stage.

I've seen someone plain become beautiful.

I've seen grace bestowed on a clut.

I've seen you, barely a hundred pounds, grow and fill an auditorium seating

hundreds.

I can believe in that kind of magic forever.

All right, Miss Hernandez, we're ready.

Our dance is the Mozartian, with music by Mozart, of course.

The sonata number 15 in C major was arranged for us by Mr. Bruno Martelli.

And one, two...

I can't do it. Yes, you can do it. I can't do it. Will you try it again?

Yes, I'll try it.

That hurts my finger. I'm sorry. Okay.

Okay, this time you be the man. Okay.

Where's my kid?

I said, where's my kid?

Upstairs in the dance room. Thanks.

You can't go up there. They're having a midterm.

You can't go up there.

Bruno, Bruno, I knew you wouldn't be home for a while, and I didn't want you

find out by a note.

So... Hi there.

What is it you didn't want Bruno to find out from a note, Mr. Martelli?

Are you sure it's okay if I interrupt?

It's fine.

Your Aunt Beatrice had the baby.

A little girl named Angela.

She had a rough time of it.

She's okay, but she'll be in the hospital at the end of the week. You'll

more time on doing the lullaby.

It's done.

It's done?

Even with the band job?

Even with the banjo.

Well, let me hear it.

Well, come on, yeah. Why don't we all hear it?

Yeah, I'd like to hear it. Yeah, come on.

Mr.

Martelli, the baby was born today.

Hey, Coco, what sign did that make us?

Capricorn.

They're real strong, too.

To be so new, we birthed for your company a

fresh point of view.

If only you could say what's on your

mind, what would you talk about?

What would we find in your eyes?

Could you teach us how to laugh when the blocks fall down?

Could you show us how to cry with a lonely clown?

Could we ever wonder why?

A sock of a glass ball.

Woman touch.

What they feel.

Teach you how to laugh.

When the blocks fall down.

Could you show without a cry.

With a low.

When the rocks fall down, could you show us how to cry

with a moan?

Kids.

Thank you.