Original subtitles

We got a job. Listen to this.

Auditions for musical.

Open roles for talented ethnic actresses. You know, ethnic can mean

I'll come first.

And show must go on and on and on.

Robert, I'm having second thoughts.

You are my choice for that role.

Look, you know what an entourage is? Sure, it's like a ballet dancer.

I'd never say any performer doesn't have a chance, not in an audition situation.

Even when one of the people auditioning is dating the director?

You've got the dream.

You want fame.

Well, fame comes.

And right here is where you start pain and sweat.

Look, to tell you the truth, I feel like I'm under a microscope right now.

Oh, I think they've guessed.

Oh, yeah? Guess what? Honey, you're not my long -lost brother.

Don't tell me you actually read that stuff.

What do you read?

Cereal, box tops, manhole covers, anything I can get my hands on.

Waka, waka, waka. Didn't anyone ever tell you that reading the trades is a

of an amateur?

What are you talking about?

Every actress reads the trades. That's how you find out what's going on. You

find out what's going on by meeting people.

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Did you ever hear a thing called talent?

If all it took was talent, I'd be on the Carson show tomorrow and Vegas the week

after. I'm telling you, it's not what you know, it's who you know. Right,

I don't know what you're talking about.

We're talking about show business.

I'm not into show business. I'm a musician.

Sorry I asked.

I'm telling you, you're wasting your time with this stuff.

Uh, don't pay any attention to him.

Easier said than done.

I was just offering a little friendly advice.

He says that reading the trades has no value.

Sure there's value in the trades if you're selling them, because then people

give you money for them. But as far as information, nothing.

Oh, yeah?

Shows you what you know.

What?

Two minutes till final bell, Doris. I'll make it.

Doris, if you're late, it's an extra book report. Make it to join...

You mean it's set.

It's for real. They can't back out. We signed a contract this morning. So

whether they like it or not, they are stuck with moi.

Oh, this is great.

Oh, my ex -boyfriend, the director.

Did you have to put that ex in there?

Bob, look, I got a class to teach. This really isn't the time or the place. No,

no, no, that's fine. That's not why I stopped by anyway.

I stopped by to tell you that there is a part in this show that you would be

right for, Lydia.

And I think we ought to talk about it.

You came by here to offer me a part in your show? Wait a minute. They just

me to direct. They didn't make me king.

You have to audition for it, but don't worry about it because you are perfect

for the part.

I gotta go.

Page 12, third column, fourth act.

What?

Page 12, third column, fourth act.

I don't know.

Lydia, are you... We'll talk.

We'll talk.

Stop with this music. Come to order.

Playtime is over.

Let's go to work now.

All right, let's go to the second position, plie.

This is the second floor.

Miss Sherwood's class is on the first floor.

When you're hot, you're hot.

My form is perfect.

Your form is perfect when I say it is.

So what's your problem?

Sounds like a terrific chance to me.

Yeah, but if I get it, I might have to quit my job here.

Oh.

Well, then you better not audition.

Not audition.

Don't be ridiculous.

Lydia, you're not making any sense. I know. I know.

You see, when I'm in class and I'm working with the kids, I'm a dancer, and

working with other dancers.

Maybe they're younger than I am, less experienced, but I'm still dealing with

them dancer to dancer.

And until Robert brought me... Oh, Robert, the ex -boyfriend?

Yeah. The cute one in the hallway?

Yes.

Until Robert brought up the possibility of me being in a show, I didn't realize

how much I missed it.

Performing.

Well, if you audition and get it, that's a high -class problem to have.

If you audition and don't get it, we'll go out to dinner, split a bottle of

wine, pick up the pieces.

But if you decide not to audition, then you'll never know what would have

happened.

And you'll be one unhappy lady, my friend.

I audition.

You ever hear of knocking? I don't have time to knock, man. This is business.

It's always business.

Oh, Martelli, we got a job. Listen to this.

Auditions for musical.

Open roles for talented ethnic actresses. Must sing, dance, and play 18

Ethnic could mean Jewish.

I'll convert.

You don't look it. I wear extra makeup. Must provide material for vocal

auditions. Ah, Broadway, here we come, man.

No.

You don't have to create anything original. Just play something we have.

Go, go.

Watch my lips.

No way.

Are you sure about that?

Never been more sure of anything in my life.

Sure she isn't using you? You sure about it? She's not using me.

Well, it's her audition, not yours. Somebody gets a job, it's going to be

not you, right?

Right. Well, what are you getting out of it?

Peace and quiet.

How are you getting peace and quiet?

You know how dogs can hear frequencies we can't hear?

How you can blow on a dog whistle and not hear anything but a dog will

Yeah. Well, that's the way it is with Coco, kind of.

I mean, she's unable to hear the word no.

There's the corner she says she's mean as that.

Hi. Mr. Martelli, it is so sweet of you to give us a ride.

That's no big deal, honey. Where are we going?

We're going to 121 Christopher Street.

That's just around the corner.

I know.

We could have met us there.

But it looks so much better to pull up in a cab, don't you think, though?

Dog whistle.

What?

It's a family joke.

without checking with me first.

Right, Pop.

May I help you?

Yeah, I'm looking for Mr. Summers.

Vocal auditions or dance chorus?

Vocal.

You're just under the wire, Miss... I'm Coco Hernandez and this is Mr. Martelli,

my accompanist.

Are you Mr. Summers?

No. Mr. Summers is the director, and I'm the stage manager. The way it works is

you have to go through me. So just sign in. We'll get you in there in a few

minutes. Okay.

Oh, Mr.

Martelli prefers to use a synthesizer.

Coco. Do you have one that he could use?

Sure.

We also have this weird thing called a piano.

Can he handle one of those?

Mr. Martelli can handle anything.

Anything you have will be fine. Thank you very much. Okay.

Let them push us around. We've got to stay in charge.

You know, I could have been at the dentist instead of here helping you out.

why would you want to be at the dentist, huh?

At least he gives Novocaine.

Thank you, Miss... Better take some armor

out there. Those people are tough.

Coco Hernandez, please.

This is Miss Coco Hernandez.

Hi.

I'd like to sing a song by Mr. Bruno Martelli entitled... Miss Hernandez, can

you just tell us a little bit about yourself, please?

Like what?

Your training, your past experiences, where you worked, who you worked with,

like that.

Sure.

Excuse me.

I have another gig uptown, and the traffic's going to murder me if we don't

this over with right away.

It's no big deal to call the coke when you're in L .A.

Now you might feel that it's the moat, but it just...

It's just a freak.

And meeting stars ain't no big deal. Cause stars are all you meet.

And the show must go on and on and on.

You heard it.

is the game you gotta play i just wrote the hook of life

it's a killer tune you'll say i spoke to paul

and linda but they might not have heard my full page

spread billboard is scheduled august third and the show

You've heard it all

your phone number.

Yes, I wrote it on the signing sheet.

Okay, we'll probably be calling you back.

Thank you.

Did you hear that? They said they'll probably be calling. That's not don't

us, we'll call you. That means they'll probably be calling. Bruno, I think we

really got it, man.

What are you doing here?

I just auditioned for the lead.

What are you doing here, Miss Grant?

I'm auditioning, too, for the lead.

Couldn't have been that bad.

So?

You won't believe it.

Try me.

Well, I'm called back for the dance audition, so I guess the vocal auditions

went okay.

That's wonderful.

Wait.

I didn't get to the good part yet.

The dance callback is on Friday.

Guess who one of my competitors is.

Who?

Coco.

You're kidding.

What was she doing there? She knows the school rules.

She wasn't doing anything that half the student body around here doesn't do.

Is this going to be a problem for you? I don't know.

We didn't get a chance to talk much.

I know she thinks I'm going to blow the whistle on her. I know it.

Maybe you should.

No. Hey, you'd be doing her a favor.

You know as well as I do, if she gets that part, she can't take it unless she

drops out of school. She's a year underage to do that.

Elizabeth. I think you're missing the point. The point is, how is it going to

look if she gets the part and then you tell her she has to turn it down?

The point you're missing is that Coco isn't going to get the part.

I just meant... Look, I don't know the play or anything, but all sorts of

can enter into who gets a job.

Yeah, all sorts of things. Talent is one.

Experience is another.

What about age?

How old is the character supposed to be?

Coco is six or seven years too young for the part.

I'm six or seven years too old.

Ty!

Look, there are no problems around this school without creating ones that don't

exist. The fact is, Coco is not going to get the part.

And the other fact is, I don't know if I want it. You auditioned.

It was impossible not to audition.

There was no way I could turn Robert down.

But you're not sure if you want to perform?

There was a time when I was sure that was all I wanted.

Then there was a time when I was sure all I wanted to do was teach.

And now... What?

Now I'm not sure about anything.

Oh, Elizabeth.

I want to dance.

I want to dance!

I better get back to work before I cool off.

Right in here.

Johnny Carson is going to be in New York for a week, and Geno's is one of his

favorite restaurants.

So? So I get into Geno's, I get one of my jokes to Carson, he uses it in his

monologue. That's how careers get started, man.

Look, known in entourages.

Sure, it's like a ballet dancer.

It's a bunch of people who travel with the biggies, the stars.

Why? So that twerps don't come to the star in the middle of a meal and try to

make the guy listen to a joke.

Besides, I thought you didn't believe in this kind of stuff. I don't believe in

the trades.

It's a gossip column. It's different.

Like I always say, it's not what you know, it's who you know.

Okay. Who do you know?

My old man's a member of the Knights of St. Anthony. You know who else is a

member of the Knights of St. Anthony? No, I'm not exactly up on the Knights of

St. Anthony. Who else is a member?

The owner of Gino's Restaurant, Johnny Carson's favorite restaurant in New

Montgomery, I'm telling you, I got my way to get my stuff to Johnny Carson.

Must have been some audition yesterday.

What audition?

What audition?

Your audition for Mr. Nordic. That's what audition.

You know what I'm talking about. Coco and Miss Grant.

How did you find out about that?

Well, I saw your dad in front after he dropped you off.

Hey, Mr. Martelli, what's new? Doesn't take much, you know. Guy, I love him,

sometimes... Right, Mom. Trying to keep something secret around here just

doesn't work.

It's like being a smuggler at a nudist camp.

So tell me about it.

So you can tell everyone else. We all have our roles to play.

What did Miss Grant say?

We didn't stick around to talk to her.

Were you going to?

What's to say?

What if she reports you guys?

I don't think she'd do that.

Well, I guess you can afford to cross your fingers. You weren't actually

auditioning yourself. You were just helping out.

If I was Coco, I'd want to know what was coming up.

Wouldn't you?

How long you been standing there?

Just a minute or two.

I wanted to talk to you before class.

Coco, I'm not sure what's on your mind, but I can tell you that anything that

goes on outside the school stays outside the school, as far as I'm concerned.

You mean you won't report me?

No. Even if I get the part?

Why don't we cross that bridge when we come to it?

Okay.

I just thought we should talk.

I wanted you to know something.

No matter what happens, no hard feelings.

No hard feelings.

Well, yeah, I've heard my dad talk so much about you and how much he respects

you and what you've done with your restaurant that I thought I'd take a

and call you direct.

Oh, yeah, my dad's always talking about how the Knights of St. Anthony stick

together, you know? And I was wondering if maybe there was an opening in your

establishment, such as a busboy or something, where I could get in and see

your fine establishment is running.

Yeah, I... Okay, operator.

Okay, hold on, Mr. Prowley.

Mr. Shrosky, do you have a dime, a quarter? I swear I'll pay you back.

Maybe, some of it.

Mr. Imprale, you still there?

He's still there.

Mr. Imprale?

Yeah, I'm back.

Oh, don't worry about a salary.

I'll be a busboy for nothing.

Oh, that's fine with me.

Oh, Mr. Imprale, you're a prince is what you are.

I'll be by after school.

Report to the kitchen.

I got it?

Oh, thanks a lot. A night to St. Anthony forever, right?

I got the job. How about that?

You got a job that doesn't pay anything.

Those jobs are not too hard to get, usually.

If you're worried about your quarter, don't sweat it. I'll pay you back out of

the first paycheck I get from the Tonight Show.

The what?

The Tonight Show. You know, Johnny Carson.

You don't know who Johnny Carson is? I suppose he's a television person, yes.

you could say that.

I don't know television, Thurston. I don't know on the set.

You'll be late for first class if you don't hurry.

Wackos. We're being taught by a bunch of wackos.

I told her the one thing.

What was it like?

It was an audition. You've been to auditions before.

Yeah, sure, here, but never in a real place before.

It's exactly the same. It's a little bit different. Tell me about it.

The place is big.

The process is the same.

I bet Coco was scared to death.

Scared she wouldn't get it, or scared about what might happen if she did get

Probably both.

Miss Grant, too.

Turkey, she can't get in trouble if she gets the part.

Turkey, she can't keep teaching if she's got Wednesday matinees every week.

She leave school, you think?

Have to.

Wouldn't have any choice.

Hey, look. Will you people stop assuming that Miss Grant got the part? I saw

Coco's audition and she was very good. She was very good. Yeah, but her

boyfriend wasn't directing the thing.

Boy what?

Didn't you see the director when Coco was auditioning?

No, it was pitch black. All we heard was her voice.

The director. The guy Miss Grant was climbing all over in the lobby the other

day. He's an old boyfriend of hers.

Coco's going to be wasted when she hears that.

She's going to be absolutely wiped out.

Who's going to tell her?

You just did.

I'm sorry, Coco.

Sorry I heard what was going on or sorry I was made a fool of.

It's not fair.

Not fair?

It stinks.

I could just... Come on. Go ahead.

Say it.

No, I don't... Hey, no one can shoot you for your feelings.

Repressed anger fantasies and gender guilt feelings.

I feel so angry.

I... Come on. What? Run her over with the bus? Hit her? Pull on her hair?

No. I just want to talk to her. That's all.

Well, then I think you should follow your instincts.

You okay?

Sure.

Why wouldn't I be okay?

I don't know. You just seemed like you were in a bad place or something.

Oh.

It's just that I got to thinking about Coco and Miss Grant and what they're

going through. And then I got this piece from composition class.

And I guess it just put me into what you said, a bad place.

Silly, though.

Not silly.

That's what music's all about, changing moods.

Yeah. Even when it's sad.

I don't know what they call it in classical terms, but in contemporary

it's just called the blues.

Go on. Do what you were doing.

You might get bummed out, too.

Never. Unless it's a power failure.

I see you got the pension plan forms, too.

And the sick leave forms and the dental care forms.

I hope some of these things cover terminal rightous cramp, because that's

I'm going to have by the time I finish filling them out.

It's not that bad. It's worse.

The wounds of the world are being bound up with red tape.

Hope you feel better than you look.

What a morale builder you are.

You look exhausted.

Are you all right?

Aside from being insane, I'm fine.

What makes you think you're insane?

I have my own reasons.

I'm just curious as to yours.

Well, I'm teaching five classes a day. I'm trying to get ready for my first

dance audition in two years.

And instead of going home like a normal human being and sleeping till the turn

of the century, I got a date tonight.

And I'm afraid to break it.

You get my vote. You're crazy.

Who's your date with?

Robert Clement.

Ah.

Excuse me.

I didn't mean to interrupt.

Miss Grant, I really need to talk to you. Coco, couldn't it wait until

before class?

No. Miss Sherwood, it's time for our promenade.

There'll be a student conference back in there.

I just hope it is a conference. I'm afraid it's a war.

I hope this isn't going to take very long.

I'm really not up to too much talk tonight, Coco. You won't be late for

date. Don't worry.

It's your dime.

Remember what you said about what goes on outside of school is going to stay

outside of school?

Still applies.

Why? Let's just say I'm one of the good guys.

Or maybe it's because you know I don't have a chance at that part. And after

dance audition, it'll be all over anyway.

Coco, I'd never say any performer doesn't have a chance, not in an

situation. Even when one of the people auditioning is dating the director?

Coco, I am tired.

And I may not be in the best of shape to respond to a question like that.

But it seems to me some questions don't deserve a response when the question

itself is a damned insult.

That's all the answer you're going to get.

Cheers. And how was your day?

Cheers. In the pits.

Look, don't let it get to you because you got a big day tomorrow.

Remember?

Robert, I'm having second thoughts.

About what?

About doing the show.

Oh, you didn't like the script, huh?

It's wonderful.

Well, so what's the problem?

I don't know.

There are a lot of complications cropping up.

There's other things involved.

What do you mean, other things?

Other people, the school, the kids, my job. Do I want to give that up?

And if I do want to, do you really have a job to offer me?

Look, there's only three people up for that role.

There's you, a friend of the choreographer's, some kid by the name of

or something like that.

Oh, yeah.

Then there's some chick who heads up the aerobic dance classes at the producer's

health studio, but that's it.

Hey, come on, look.

Now, you listen to me.

I am the director, right?

You are my choice for that role.

It's that simple.

There's no reason to be sorry about anything.

No reason at all. I guess you want your bread and butter.

Hey, look.

Maybe a little food might change the mood, huh?

I'm a tool.

Table 18 needs coffee refills. Where's table 18? Good evening, Geno's.

Mr. Carson's party.

Yes, sir.

Tomorrow night, 7 o 'clock, party of six.

We'll be expecting you.

Table 18 needs coffee refills, I say. Yes, sir. Right away.

Hold up the red. Hold up the red. Look at the red. Just look at the red. I like

the red. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Color Is Right. Tonight's

contestants, Red and Aqua.

Look at the red. Just look at the... Hold up the aqua. All right, all right.

Let's be serious, okay? I have to make a decision.

Well, the aqua looks too babyish, and the red looks like you're trying too

And if you need any more help, don't hesitate to come down.

Go with the aqua.

Emotionally, it's a much more comforting color. Red can be so threatening.

Who told you that?

I read a book, Healthy Colors for a Sick World.

I'll wait for the movie. All right, I'm going to go with the aqua.

Hey. Hey.

I mean, Montgomery, you sound like he knows, so I'm going to go with it. All

right. When's the audition anyway?

Are you scared?

I'm too nervous to tell. Oh, God, I wish I was Catholic so I could stop off at

St. Pat's and light a candle for you.

I'll go anyway. They'll never know. Want to bet?

Please.

I'll go home and do something in your honor, okay?

Fine. So will you.

I know, I know. You'll be great. I will.

I will.

Miss Grant, are you going to that audition?

I sure am.

You gonna wish me luck?

You don't want me to be a hypocrite, do you?

No.

Then I can't wish you luck.

Why not?

I don't want you to get the job because I don't want you to leave the school.

Maybe I'm selfish, but I ain't no hypocrite.

Thank you very much. We'll look forward to seeing you.

Not too busy tonight, huh? Too early yet. The Before Theater crowd will start

showing up in half an hour or so.

Any cancellations? Not so far.

Well, some of the Carson party have arrived already.

They're in the back.

Miss Douglas?

Good luck. Thanks.

Yeah, good luck.

Would you talk to our pianist about the music you picked? He's not quite certain

what you're after. Oh, glad to.

Are you nervous?

Sure.

I would have thought after a lot of auditioning that goes away.

You better hope it doesn't go away, child.

Not if you want a chance of getting the job.

Do you ever just want to turn around and leave and not go through with it?

Almost every time.

That's just being scared.

And being scared, that's as much a part of auditioning as singing and dancing.

You learn to live with it.

Being scared.

Makes people say dumb things sometimes, too.

I wouldn't know, honey. I never say anything dumb myself.

We better warm up.

Good luck yourself.

Thanks.

Miss Grant, ready for you, please.

Miss Grant?

Robert, could I ask you a question, please?

Yeah, sure.

Down here.

So what's the question?

Am I about to get all hot and sweaty and out of breath for nothing?

I don't know what you're talking about.

The hell you don't.

If you look me in the eye and tell me the part isn't cast, then I'll dance my

feet into bloody stumps to get it.

But you're gonna have to look me in the eye and tell me.

This isn't an easy racket, you know.

Yeah, I know.

This is my first directing job.

Know that, too.

Lydia, I'm human.

Well, if I didn't know that before, Robert, I surely know it now.

Don't I?

There's no need for you to audition.

Jimmy, we're done here.

Let's go get a drink.

What, are they in a break or something?

Gee, that's a pretty leotard.

You buy it for this audition?

Yeah. Well, come on.

Let's go put it in your lock at school.

I'll explain on the way.

Yamatulo, where you been? They need butter over on table 12 and ice water

over... I'm sorry. I really am. But he talked to me. Who talked to you?

Johnny Carson actually talked to me.

You've been bothering Mr. Carson at his table? Of course not. What do you think

I am, some kind of jerk or something?

I noticed that he wasn't at the table for coffee refills, so I checked in the

men's room to see if he'd listen to my material.

You've got to be kidding. He was washing his hands. He didn't have anything else

to do. And then he had to wait for the hot air machine to dry him off.

He actually listened and actually talked to me.

What did he say?

He said, buzz off, kid.

Table 12, butter. Right away.

Not fair.

Right.

I know I could have played that part. I know it.

No, you couldn't.

The understudies part, for sure. But the lead, not yet.

Child, you still have some stuff to learn.

I guess that's why they're teachers then, huh?

I guess that's why.

I thought I had it this time.

I thought the dream would be mine.

Hoping to fly, I fall.

Oh, how I wish I just didn't care at all.

Cause when you don't care, you don't cry.

It won't hurt.

If you don't