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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:14,130 When people think of Chicago, they think of the skyscrapers, they think of 2 00:00:14,130 --> 00:00:15,049 Michael Jordan. 3 00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:16,970 But there's another side to Chicago. 4 00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:22,430 I've been a gangster city since a long time ago. 5 00:00:25,030 --> 00:00:27,730 As a kid, I always wanted to be a gangster. 6 00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:31,930 That decision will haunt me forever. 7 00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:40,760 I look at my Mexican prison story as how I came in as a drug lord. 8 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,260 And I left a drug addict. 9 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:52,680 But the story doesn't end there. 10 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,820 My name is Julio Cesar Almanza, but my friends call me JC. 11 00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:16,460 I was born on the south side of Chicago in 1977. 12 00:01:20,860 --> 00:01:23,380 When I grew up, it was very, very dangerous. 13 00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:25,880 There was a shooting every day. 14 00:01:26,940 --> 00:01:31,420 I saw people's, you know, heads getting blown off and stuff like that. 15 00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:33,840 I thought chaos was normal. 16 00:01:35,260 --> 00:01:37,020 My childhood was stolen from me. 17 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,660 I grew up with very little parental supervision in my life. 18 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,260 I was always running the streets. I didn't really have a curfew. 19 00:01:49,020 --> 00:01:54,200 I was looking to have some kind of father figure in my life. 20 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:01,760 I would look at all these gang members in my area, the way they dressed, the 21 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:06,960 they walked, the way that people respected them, that feeling of 22 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,500 feeling of being part of something. 23 00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,620 I wanted what they had. 24 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,720 I wanted it all. 25 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:20,920 Hey, yo, kid, come here. 26 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,940 These guys are always looking to recruit on the streets. So if they see a kid 27 00:02:24,940 --> 00:02:27,760 that's constantly hanging out, they befriend you. 28 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:32,340 They made me feel accepted, made me feel part of something. 29 00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:37,080 So that's why I was willing to do whatever I had to do to make it. 30 00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:44,750 I started doing deliveries, small little dime bags. 31 00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:47,430 I knew there was drugs in the bags. 32 00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:49,610 I just didn't care. 33 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:55,450 Any kind of pat in the back felt good, so I would take it even if it came with 34 00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:56,450 price tag on it. 35 00:02:58,230 --> 00:03:02,150 I was heading in the wrong direction and going really fast at full speed. 36 00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:09,570 It was 1993. 37 00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:14,050 I'm nearly 17, and the only thing I have in my life is the gang life. 38 00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:20,430 Not having education, I felt like I just had to do whatever I had to do to 39 00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:21,430 survive. 40 00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,790 I'm selling drugs. I'm hanging out on the streets. 41 00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:27,930 It was violence, drugs, gangs, and murders. 42 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,710 That was my life every day. 43 00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:32,490 I didn't think I was going to live past 21. 44 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,920 If I wanted to survive, I needed to move up the rank. 45 00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:41,480 I wanted respect, power. 46 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:43,400 I wanted more. 47 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:45,560 I wanted more. 48 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,380 One day, a girl came up to me. Her name was Valerie. 49 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,720 Her boyfriend was the boss of my street gang. 50 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,500 What's up, Val? 51 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,520 What's up, yourself? 52 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,320 Got a proposition for you. 53 00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:05,320 She said, I need you to drive down to Mexico. 54 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,060 pick up some weed, and drive it back to Chicago. 55 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,620 So you'd be down? 56 00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:13,200 100%. I looked at it as an opportunity. 57 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,459 I didn't even ask how much. I just said yes. 58 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:18,000 Be back here tomorrow morning. 59 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,420 I wasn't thinking about no dangers. 60 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:25,680 I was young, cocky. I thought that I was going to be the biggest drug lord in 61 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:26,680 Chicago. 62 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,460 The next day, I was really excited. 63 00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:39,210 And I said, am I just going to put the weed in the trunk of the car? 64 00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:40,970 But she said, no. 65 00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:43,310 We're going to put it in the gas tank. 66 00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:49,810 The tank is humongous in that car, so you're able to fit a big metal box in 67 00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:50,810 gas tank. 68 00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:57,770 I was excited, happy, but also a little bit scared. 69 00:04:58,950 --> 00:04:59,950 Just a little bit. 70 00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:08,360 I jumped on the 55 and all you could see is Chicago getting smaller and smaller. 71 00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:11,600 I knew this was going to be a stepping stone for me. 72 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:18,440 I was going to a passing gun, Mexico. 73 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:21,980 I felt like a man. 74 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,440 I felt like I was taking control of my life. 75 00:05:33,610 --> 00:05:34,930 I finally arrived to my destination. 76 00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:41,690 When I pulled into the town, I was seeing all these guys in trucks with AK 77 00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:47,130 This town was owned by the Narcos. There was no question about it. 78 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,270 I knew that I arrived at the right place. 79 00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:57,650 I found a hotel. 80 00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:01,590 My instructions were to just check in and wait. 81 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,530 Next day in the morning, I hear a knock on the door. 82 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,070 I was already up. I was ready to go. 83 00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:20,390 It's a tall Mexican, older guy. 84 00:06:21,210 --> 00:06:23,590 He looked a little scary, I'm not going to lie. 85 00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:26,730 He told me his nickname was Cicero. 86 00:06:27,390 --> 00:06:30,890 I could tell by the way that he looked in his eyes that this guy didn't play 87 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,200 around. We're going to take Nicole. He said to me, we're going to take the car, 88 00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,380 we're going to modify it, we'll let you know when it's ready. 89 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:37,700 You stay put. 90 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:44,900 In my head, I thought that I was rising to the top, 91 00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:49,420 but he thought I was just some young American punk, just some gang member. 92 00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,920 It was a real wake -up call. 93 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:58,960 I wanted to show them that I was someone that could be trusted, so I just stayed 94 00:06:58,960 --> 00:06:59,960 put. 95 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,740 The next day, I went to his ranch. 96 00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:10,500 The ranch is where they grew the marijuana. They processed it. 97 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:17,740 I got to see how it was grown, how it was cut, how it was dried. 98 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:26,560 They compacted it into small blocks to be able to fit 30 to 50 kilos in a gas 99 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:27,560 tank. 100 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:34,540 Once the brick is wrapped up, They dip it in oil to avoid the smell, and then 101 00:07:34,540 --> 00:07:36,940 they put it in the metal compartment, and then they weld it shut. 102 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:39,620 It was amazing to me. 103 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,580 I wanted to learn it all, because one day I was going to do the same thing. 104 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,180 I didn't want to be a gang member no more. I wanted to be a narco. 105 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,420 Finally, the car was ready. 106 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:56,260 It was clean. They even detailed it, and it didn't smell nothing. 107 00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:58,000 This was 40 kilos. 108 00:08:01,410 --> 00:08:04,530 Look, Cicero explained to me that there's a lot of dangers. 109 00:08:04,870 --> 00:08:08,990 Getting robbed by other cartels, even getting robbed by the cops. 110 00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:10,930 If I could get killed. 111 00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:13,950 He just told me to be careful. 112 00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:23,070 I was on my way. 113 00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:29,350 There was a lot of things that could have went wrong. 114 00:08:31,850 --> 00:08:33,190 So I started getting nervous. 115 00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:40,809 But when I got waved past two checkpoints, my head got a little bit 116 00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:44,730 said to myself, this is going to be a piece of cake, a cakewalk. 117 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:49,970 You start to see the border come up. You start to see the Mexican flag, the 118 00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:50,970 American flag. 119 00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:53,010 And you come to a complete stop. 120 00:08:57,950 --> 00:08:59,430 You smell the traffic. 121 00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,870 You see the guys out there selling stuff. 122 00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:09,950 There was police there. There was military. 123 00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:15,550 And I'm gripping the steering wheel really hard because I had been driving 124 00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:16,570 fast through Mexico. 125 00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,190 And it hit me. 126 00:09:18,370 --> 00:09:21,130 I'm doing this. I have 40 kilos. 127 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:27,650 And your heart starts to race a little bit. You start getting anxious. 128 00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:43,530 I was trying to stay cool, but all of a sudden I see a cop walking towards me 129 00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:46,550 with the dog. 130 00:09:47,770 --> 00:09:49,430 They were coming really close to the car. 131 00:09:51,110 --> 00:09:53,830 This is a crucial moment. There's no way to get out of it. 132 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,910 There's cars behind you, so can't reverse. 133 00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,030 You're a sitting duck. 134 00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,930 I started to feel paranoid. 135 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,620 People are staring at you from other cars, like, that guy has drugs. 136 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,800 I start gripping the steering wheel a little bit harder. 137 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,760 Almost want to bend it in half. 138 00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:23,380 At this point, I'm praying. 139 00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:25,420 I just want the dog to keep moving. 140 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:34,520 The next 10 seconds, I'm either going to drive away, or I'm going to go to 141 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,520 prison. 142 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:53,280 I knew what I had inside that gas tank, and I knew that if I got caught, I was 143 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,680 gonna go to prison for a long time. 144 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:13,860 After he stepped away with the dog, a sense of relief came, but I couldn't 145 00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:15,840 no attention to myself, so I couldn't really celebrate. 146 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,160 I still had to make it into the United States. 147 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:26,720 Once I got to the U .S. crossing point, they asked me if I was an American. 148 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,060 I said, yes, I'm an American. 149 00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:35,580 I show him my ID, and he just waves me in. 150 00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:41,920 All the stress and all the relief just came out of me. 151 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,140 This big smile just came out of my face. 152 00:11:47,180 --> 00:11:50,240 My heart was racing, but it was more for excitement. 153 00:11:56,900 --> 00:12:01,520 Once I started seeing Chicago come back into view, my smiles just started 154 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:02,520 getting bigger and bigger. 155 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,480 My first question is, how much am I getting paid for this? 156 00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:15,120 I counted the money like 100 times that day. 157 00:12:16,140 --> 00:12:17,380 It was $12 ,000. 158 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,060 I felt like Tony Montana. 159 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,620 I told Valerie I want to go again. 160 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,800 I had a feeling you'd say that. 161 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,880 And I was on the road the next day. 162 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,360 It was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. 163 00:12:35,940 --> 00:12:38,160 After the first one, it became a regular thing. 164 00:12:38,740 --> 00:12:40,340 I was gone every month. 165 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:48,020 It started getting easier because I was doing it more frequently. 166 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:55,360 Coming up to the border, seeing the agent waving you by, it almost became 167 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,360 second nature. 168 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:00,680 The 169 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:07,560 more I saw 170 00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,760 Cicero, the more I won him over. 171 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:14,450 For being such a young kid, Cicero made me feel important. 172 00:13:14,950 --> 00:13:17,350 He said, keep doing what you're doing, you're going to make moves. 173 00:13:20,590 --> 00:13:23,870 Every time I would go down, there was always a party to go to. 174 00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:27,930 Cicero asked me, have you ever done coca lavada? 175 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:29,650 Lavada means pure. 176 00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,150 I had never done anything like that. 177 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:40,010 It was very uplifting. 178 00:13:42,510 --> 00:13:43,650 I feel like Superman. 179 00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:54,870 It started changing my life because I started having too much money. 180 00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:59,430 I mean, what 17 -year -old kid is sitting there putting money in 181 00:14:00,030 --> 00:14:02,970 So I started finding ways to spend it. 182 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:10,130 I had access to huge amounts of cocaine, and the more money I had, the bigger my 183 00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:11,130 habit got. 184 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:16,200 I would wake up, do a bump, and I would get my day started. 185 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:17,880 It was like my cup of coffee. 186 00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:23,700 My head got big. I was going to go places. I was going to move up the 187 00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:29,860 Cuyo! 188 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,400 Cuyo. Cuyo. 189 00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:37,080 Sister Oak went from a boss to a friend, to like a father, mentor in my life. 190 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,120 It was like joining a family. 191 00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:42,790 Cute. are one of us now. La familia. 192 00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:47,430 I felt like I was part of something. I thought I was about to be a millionaire. 193 00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:51,850 This boy is going to make a lot of money. 194 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:56,990 I was flying high, but my life was taking a deep turn into addiction. 195 00:15:01,950 --> 00:15:07,550 At first you think it's helping you, but then it becomes a crutch. 196 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:13,020 It got up to the point where I was running around the whole house with a 197 00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:15,700 kilo in my hand, just sniffing it out. 198 00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:17,740 That's how bad it got. 199 00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:24,220 In my head I was holding it together, but once I started letting cocaine take 200 00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:26,100 over, I started getting really sloppy. 201 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:29,960 You're late. 202 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,960 This was my seventh trip too much ago. 203 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,400 When I got to a ranch, I was pushing them to get the car ready faster. 204 00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:45,940 Yo, man, are you done yet? 205 00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:48,940 I felt like a superhero, but I didn't look like one. 206 00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:51,040 Hey, hey, hey, Manu. 207 00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,199 What's up? 208 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,520 Look at me. Hey. 209 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:55,900 I had bags under my eyes. 210 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:58,880 Sister said to me, why don't you stay here? 211 00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:00,580 Clean up. 212 00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:04,440 I didn't want to stay in Mexico. I wanted to go back and make more money. 213 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,620 I thought that I was going to be the biggest narco that Mexico had seen. 214 00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:12,430 I told him, let me get this car back to Chicago. 215 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,370 I'll come back down and take a break. 216 00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:16,170 Promise. 217 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,830 He just trusted me. He gave me the keys. 218 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:32,890 It's late at night. I'm driving like bad out of hell. 219 00:16:34,490 --> 00:16:38,710 I was constantly doing cocaine and drinking as I was driving. 220 00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:45,370 As I start getting closer to the checkpoint, I start seeing the lights, 221 00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:48,850 first I'm like, oh, you got this. You've done this a hundred times. 222 00:16:49,270 --> 00:16:51,390 But something seemed different this time. 223 00:16:54,530 --> 00:16:57,050 I started to notice the difference in uniform. 224 00:16:58,110 --> 00:17:00,010 They all had high -caliber weapons. 225 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,330 This was the military. 226 00:17:04,069 --> 00:17:08,310 I started getting more anxious, and then they told me to come in. 227 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,339 So that's when it got real. 228 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:22,000 I've done so much coke that my nose is constantly running. 229 00:17:23,180 --> 00:17:27,819 I was trying to keep it together, but I just couldn't stay still. And he asked 230 00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:34,640 me, I started to sweat right there and then. 231 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:38,220 I just told him that I'm scared of law enforcement. 232 00:17:39,419 --> 00:17:40,600 That's why I get like that. 233 00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:45,060 The soldier told me to put the car on the ramp. 234 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,840 I felt like driving with the car, not stopping. 235 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,960 But if I would have drove away, they would have probably shot the car up with 236 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,640 the high caliber weapons that they have. 237 00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:04,360 And there would have been no me. 238 00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:11,730 They started taking the screws off the gas tank. 239 00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:18,390 The more I hear the wrench turning, the more my stomach's turning. 240 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,070 The tank was completely down. 241 00:18:28,130 --> 00:18:31,890 They had found the drugs. 242 00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:36,830 They turned to me and shouted, who did I work for? 243 00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,610 Who are you driving this car for? 244 00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:43,050 I knew that I was caught, but I didn't want to throw in the towel just yet. So 245 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:45,330 told him that it was for personal use. 246 00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:49,050 He got very upset about that joke. 247 00:18:54,390 --> 00:18:58,570 From that moment on, my life completely changed. 248 00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:03,610 This is when the nightmare starts. 249 00:19:12,459 --> 00:19:13,820 I knew I had messed up. 250 00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:17,080 I thought that I was going to be big time. 251 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,720 But now I was going to have to face the music. 252 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,200 They drove me to a small police station. 253 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,660 In my head, I'm still thinking that the cartel would have pulled their strings 254 00:19:33,660 --> 00:19:34,940 and get me out of there. 255 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:36,900 So I called Cicero. 256 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,900 It was a very difficult phone call to make. 257 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,100 Yeah. 258 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,600 It's me. 259 00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:50,140 Listen, something's happened. 260 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:55,460 He didn't need to express his disappointment. I could feel it. 261 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,920 Because you didn't get picked up by the local cops. 262 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,700 Whole different ballgame, amigo. 263 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,200 Sister Oak said to me, we can't pay them off. 264 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,100 What are you saying? What are you talking about, sister? 265 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:10,340 Don't you... 266 00:20:18,190 --> 00:20:19,190 I feel betrayed. 267 00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:28,730 They made it seem like they were going to always be there for me, no matter 268 00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:29,730 what. 269 00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:32,430 But it's all lies. 270 00:20:33,790 --> 00:20:34,790 It's all lies. 271 00:20:41,450 --> 00:20:43,750 In the morning, I'm on my way to the prison. 272 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:52,050 That's when the whole other nightmare started. 273 00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:58,710 Arriba. My whole world was about to be turned around. 274 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:05,590 I had heard that Mexican prisons were really bad. 275 00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:10,570 But in reality, it's even worse. 276 00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:15,850 I had never seen torture. 277 00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:18,450 I had never seen people getting lynched. 278 00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:25,360 I mean, it was a whole different world compared to the United States. 279 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,680 These guys were pretending to be my friend, but at the same time they were 280 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,040 trying to see what I had in my bags. 281 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:42,460 I knew I was going to have to fight. I knew I was going to have to pretty much 282 00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:43,460 make my stand. 283 00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:47,040 Their leader asked me what size of shoe I wore. 284 00:21:48,300 --> 00:21:49,760 I told him, not your size. 285 00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:52,370 Big mistake. 286 00:21:56,670 --> 00:22:00,950 He stabbed me in the back with an ice pick. 287 00:22:03,470 --> 00:22:08,150 They took the bags, they took my shoes. 288 00:22:09,790 --> 00:22:11,590 Everything started turning to a blur. 289 00:22:12,710 --> 00:22:14,170 And that's it, I passed out. 290 00:22:22,850 --> 00:22:24,630 Next thing you know, I wake up in the infirmary. 291 00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:30,590 My lung was filling up with blood. 292 00:22:32,090 --> 00:22:33,090 I'm going to die. 293 00:22:34,450 --> 00:22:35,910 The doctors came running in. 294 00:22:36,850 --> 00:22:40,450 They didn't put me to sleep or nothing. They just put the, stabbed me through 295 00:22:40,450 --> 00:22:41,450 the lung. 296 00:22:49,570 --> 00:22:51,530 So I pretty much got stabbed twice that day. 297 00:22:52,780 --> 00:22:55,800 I had just been in that prison for 10 minutes before all this happened. 298 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,480 That was my welcome party. 299 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,480 The next day, I'm in the infirmary trying to recover. 300 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,080 I see this man walk in. 301 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,180 He has jewelry on, he has boots. 302 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:21,500 He has the whole look of a narco. 303 00:23:22,420 --> 00:23:23,420 Hola. 304 00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:26,420 He's like, I heard you had a little incident. 305 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,760 And I was like, What's a little incident? 306 00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:31,760 I got stabbed. 307 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,460 You know, he keeps smiling and I really didn't have nothing to smile about. 308 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,940 Tranquilo, papi. Calmate. 309 00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:43,540 My name is El Gordo. 310 00:23:44,780 --> 00:23:46,120 I'm a friend of la familia. 311 00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,240 El Gordo was the boss of the prison. 312 00:23:51,220 --> 00:23:53,180 Cicero? It's one of my wife's cousins. 313 00:23:53,620 --> 00:23:55,500 So, we got your back. 314 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,160 He let me know that nobody else was going to mess with me. 315 00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:01,040 I was going to go live with him. 316 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:09,480 Even though I was in prison, I was going to be taken care of. 317 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,720 A sense of relief came for the first time. 318 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,240 So, this is where you're going to be. 319 00:24:21,870 --> 00:24:26,270 El Gordo moved me right next to him where all the guys that had money lived 320 00:24:26,710 --> 00:24:32,670 The money side had showers, hot water, single cells, very clean. 321 00:24:33,810 --> 00:24:38,350 But when protection is given to you, you obviously know if you're from the 322 00:24:38,350 --> 00:24:40,270 streets that there's no such thing as a free ride. 323 00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:45,530 You have to bring something to the table or you can't be part of the team. 324 00:24:46,450 --> 00:24:50,050 El Gordo said, The cartel didn't ask me to babysit you. 325 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,840 I was going to be one of his workers, selling cocaine. 326 00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:05,080 At the time, I was just glad that I was surviving. 327 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,200 I didn't have to fight for my life. 328 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,160 But now I was working for some pretty evil, bad people. 329 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:20,260 One day, there was a guy coming into the prison. He was a pedophile. 330 00:25:23,490 --> 00:25:28,650 Everybody was waiting at the front door with pipes, brooms. 331 00:25:30,810 --> 00:25:32,770 Gordo just wanted to set an example. 332 00:25:37,850 --> 00:25:40,470 I felt like I wanted to throw up. 333 00:25:43,630 --> 00:25:48,450 But El Gordo and his entourage were all laughing and taking part in the beating. 334 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,480 I've never heard somebody scream like that before. 335 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:08,160 Finally, someone came up from behind and put the broom through his body, 336 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:11,600 you know, through his anal cavity. 337 00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:21,440 To this day, I can't get that 338 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,900 vision out of my head. 339 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:31,260 Just seeing their faces and how they were enjoying the pain and the carnage, 340 00:26:31,260 --> 00:26:32,260 blood. 341 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,140 This was my new family. 342 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,480 Months went by. 343 00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:50,460 I start to see violence every day. 344 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,320 It was constantly happening. 345 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:59,560 And if anybody owed El Gordo money, it got sorted out pretty quick. 346 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,140 There's no guards inside that prison. 347 00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:09,560 All the guards are on the wall. 348 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:15,100 So I sold coke all day, from 6 to 6. 349 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,660 El Gordo would give me an ounce. 350 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,020 I would, you know, sell it and just pay them back. 351 00:27:27,820 --> 00:27:31,320 If you don't have money to do time in Mexico, you're going to do some really 352 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:32,320 hard time. 353 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,340 Unit 2 was for all the poor people. 354 00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,980 There was always people in there begging for drugs or money. 355 00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:46,200 I just thought they were garbage. 356 00:27:48,650 --> 00:27:52,070 I started to think that because I had money, I thought that I was better than 357 00:27:52,070 --> 00:27:53,070 them. 358 00:27:55,870 --> 00:27:58,570 I'm very ashamed of how I acted in those days. 359 00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:04,570 I was this lost kid thinking that it was okay to do bad things to other people 360 00:28:04,570 --> 00:28:06,530 to survive, and I was wrong. 361 00:28:08,910 --> 00:28:12,510 It all started affecting my soul because in the mornings when I would wake up 362 00:28:12,510 --> 00:28:16,530 and look at myself in the mirror, I wouldn't recognize myself no more. 363 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,080 People getting beat up. 364 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:22,800 People getting killed. 365 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:26,600 It starts to wear you out. 366 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,800 The only thing I still held on to, I thought that I was only going to be in 367 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,840 Mexico for six months. 368 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:40,040 All the stories that I heard of all the Americans, they would transfer them out 369 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,020 pretty fast because of all the violence and everything that was happening. 370 00:28:44,380 --> 00:28:45,780 But I was in my cell. 371 00:28:46,430 --> 00:28:47,450 They called my name. 372 00:28:49,850 --> 00:28:53,810 They walked me up towards the office. 373 00:28:56,310 --> 00:28:58,650 There was somebody sitting at a desk. 374 00:29:00,270 --> 00:29:01,590 I got my sentence. 375 00:29:03,190 --> 00:29:08,370 There was no, do I plead guilty or none of that stuff. 376 00:29:09,850 --> 00:29:12,110 I got 15 years. 377 00:29:15,180 --> 00:29:16,180 I was screwed. 378 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,060 I started going through a deep depression. 379 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:30,400 I knew that if I stayed in Mexico to do the rest of those 15 years, I probably 380 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:31,920 wasn't going to stay alive much longer. 381 00:29:43,470 --> 00:29:46,810 One day, there was a guy that came into the prison. 382 00:29:47,690 --> 00:29:52,490 This was a big -time guy, and he started cooking crack. 383 00:29:53,590 --> 00:29:55,770 All the big drug lords were smoking crack. 384 00:29:56,010 --> 00:29:58,330 That was, like, the high -end drug to do. 385 00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:02,050 And he's like, have you ever done a bazooka hit? 386 00:30:02,430 --> 00:30:04,050 And I was like, no. 387 00:30:05,170 --> 00:30:07,570 Oh, man, you've got to try this. 388 00:30:15,370 --> 00:30:18,550 When I took the hit, my head just exploded. 389 00:30:22,190 --> 00:30:25,290 It was a feeling that I had never experienced before. 390 00:30:28,330 --> 00:30:33,090 When you do coke, it's just kind of like one cup of coffee. 391 00:30:36,890 --> 00:30:38,890 Crack, it's a hundred cups of coffee. 392 00:30:47,439 --> 00:30:51,080 But it went away really fast, really fast, in seconds. 393 00:30:51,940 --> 00:30:53,240 So then I wanted it again. 394 00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:56,020 Give me another. 395 00:30:56,820 --> 00:31:00,460 There was just no filling that void with that drug. The more you have, the more 396 00:31:00,460 --> 00:31:01,460 you want to use. 397 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,080 Before I knew it, I was an addict. 398 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,960 I was getting up in the morning, and the first thing that came to my mind was 399 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,560 how I was going to get high. 400 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,640 I wasn't taking care of myself. 401 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:22,360 I wasn't sleeping well. I was not eating. 402 00:31:26,660 --> 00:31:28,520 My 18th birthday came and went. 403 00:31:28,780 --> 00:31:29,900 I didn't even notice. 404 00:31:36,660 --> 00:31:41,760 It got to the point where I was using all the drugs and not paying back the 405 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:42,760 money that I owed. 406 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,040 Disrespected me, ma. 407 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:54,140 That was a total amount of $7 ,000. It was a lot of money in a Mexican prison. 408 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:55,520 You went over the line. 409 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:57,600 You listening? 410 00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:01,100 One way or another, I was going to pay for it. 411 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,940 He told me that I was going to be moving to Unit 2. 412 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,900 I knew that this was it. 413 00:32:19,820 --> 00:32:23,640 I started to get scared because that's where a lot of the murders happen, the 414 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,100 hangings, rapes. 415 00:32:26,060 --> 00:32:30,760 Ogordo just said, he's not going to survive in there. 416 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,260 Just let the prison kill him. 417 00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:42,920 I pretty much felt like a dead man walking. 418 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:05,920 Inside the poor unit, the first thing that I noticed was that there was 419 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:09,640 of boogers on the floor, like spit. 420 00:33:11,300 --> 00:33:13,300 It was dirty. It was nasty. 421 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:15,740 It smelled in there. It was disgusting. 422 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:23,920 I was afraid that I was going to catch like some kind of disease because it was 423 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:25,020 a lot of sick people. 424 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,020 I put my stuff down. 425 00:33:29,470 --> 00:33:33,750 And I asked one of the guys there whose mattress that was in the corner, and he 426 00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:35,310 was like, anybody could use it. 427 00:33:36,710 --> 00:33:37,870 I sat down. 428 00:33:39,010 --> 00:33:40,750 I was itching. 429 00:33:43,410 --> 00:33:45,610 Everybody started laughing. 430 00:33:48,870 --> 00:33:54,390 And it was like thousands and thousands of bed bugs in a pile. 431 00:33:55,890 --> 00:33:56,890 It was bad. 432 00:34:00,970 --> 00:34:02,370 I couldn't sleep at night. 433 00:34:03,550 --> 00:34:04,870 I was very scared. 434 00:34:07,550 --> 00:34:09,370 There was roaches, there was rats. 435 00:34:10,870 --> 00:34:13,110 The toilets were just holes in the floor. 436 00:34:13,730 --> 00:34:17,389 Anybody left the hole uncovered at night, the rats would come up. 437 00:34:19,770 --> 00:34:21,130 You could hear them at night. 438 00:34:23,650 --> 00:34:25,449 I thought I had hit rock bottom. 439 00:34:32,590 --> 00:34:34,130 It was long nights, long days. 440 00:34:37,190 --> 00:34:40,610 My craving for drugs was really, really out of control. 441 00:34:42,409 --> 00:34:48,050 I would see all the poor guys in that unit always with a sock that was wet 442 00:34:48,050 --> 00:34:50,670 paint thinner and they would inhale it through their mouth. 443 00:34:52,989 --> 00:34:59,030 I asked the guy to let me borrow the sock so I could see what it was. 444 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:05,300 And when I inhaled it, it's a very different high. 445 00:35:05,820 --> 00:35:07,640 You feel like you're in slow motion. 446 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,240 You're pretty much like a zombie. 447 00:35:17,220 --> 00:35:20,300 It was numbing a lot of voices in my head. 448 00:35:21,900 --> 00:35:26,600 It was just to numb and forget, just to keep living my days out pretty much. 449 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:33,720 Most of my life, I was the dealer. I was never the other guy on the other end. 450 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,540 And I realized that I was that person now. 451 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:38,640 I had nothing. 452 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,880 By now, I was losing hope. 453 00:35:47,100 --> 00:35:51,220 I was starting to really think that I wasn't going to make it back to the 454 00:35:51,220 --> 00:35:52,220 States. 455 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,920 I was so depressed, so done with life. 456 00:35:57,830 --> 00:35:59,730 that I really didn't care no more. 457 00:36:01,290 --> 00:36:05,970 I just wanted to find a quick solution to end this because I couldn't see 458 00:36:05,970 --> 00:36:08,010 suffering for 15 years. 459 00:36:09,710 --> 00:36:11,730 I just didn't have nothing to live for no more. 460 00:36:14,010 --> 00:36:16,890 I thought it would be easier just to end it now. 461 00:36:22,790 --> 00:36:25,630 I had seen people do it in there, so... 462 00:36:26,110 --> 00:36:28,470 I figured, hey, you know, it can't be that hard. 463 00:36:32,110 --> 00:36:35,310 But I just couldn't do it. 464 00:36:44,290 --> 00:36:51,230 After that, I gave up on any kind of hope 465 00:36:51,230 --> 00:36:52,230 that I had. 466 00:36:55,540 --> 00:36:56,540 Amigo, amigo. 467 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,300 The guys in my unit started noticing that I wasn't eating. 468 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,440 They started taking care of me. 469 00:37:05,660 --> 00:37:10,400 They started giving me food, making sure that I was okay. 470 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:22,520 Gracias. 471 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:24,720 Gracias. 472 00:37:25,190 --> 00:37:26,930 I did a lot of bad stuff to a lot of people. 473 00:37:32,170 --> 00:37:37,810 It made me feel really, really guilty on how I treated these people when I 474 00:37:37,810 --> 00:37:38,810 became one of them. 475 00:37:42,190 --> 00:37:43,190 Yeah. 476 00:37:43,830 --> 00:37:45,270 To this day, I still feel it. 477 00:37:45,710 --> 00:37:47,250 I still feel the guilt to this day. 478 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:03,780 I was in a very dark place, and it made me feel like I wasn't human. 479 00:38:07,340 --> 00:38:11,720 But one day, one of the guards took me towards the office. 480 00:38:14,700 --> 00:38:17,740 When I walked in, it was a young woman. 481 00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:20,080 She gave me their business card. 482 00:38:20,540 --> 00:38:22,100 I'm from the U .S. Consul. 483 00:38:27,470 --> 00:38:29,570 My hands were shaking when I grabbed the paper. 484 00:38:30,370 --> 00:38:32,450 They had a date for my transfer. 485 00:38:32,930 --> 00:38:36,930 Only six more months and you're being transferred to the U .S. 486 00:38:37,210 --> 00:38:38,890 I was nervous. I was excited. 487 00:38:39,110 --> 00:38:40,110 I was happy. 488 00:38:40,750 --> 00:38:43,030 It gave me hope that I was going to make it out of here alive. 489 00:38:45,150 --> 00:38:47,310 I think that paper saved my life. 490 00:38:52,170 --> 00:38:54,590 The last six months, they went really fast. 491 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,300 I started to see light at the end of the tunnel, and I was very, very excited 492 00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:00,900 about coming back to the States. 493 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:07,120 I remember the day that they called my name, and they told me the American 494 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:08,440 consul was there to pick me up. 495 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,800 I couldn't get out of there fast enough. 496 00:39:15,860 --> 00:39:18,800 They told me, you better not try and run when we get to the airport. 497 00:39:19,780 --> 00:39:21,120 And I was like... 498 00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:25,280 Dude, I've been waiting for you guys to come and get me for four years. 499 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,020 I want to go home. 500 00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:31,880 It was one of my happiest moments in my life. 501 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,420 I just knew that I was safe. 502 00:39:52,710 --> 00:39:57,530 So now I'm back in Chicago, and I was ready to make some changes in my life. 503 00:39:59,990 --> 00:40:04,290 I wanted to find a job, but nobody was willing to give me a chance or hire me 504 00:40:04,290 --> 00:40:05,290 because of my background. 505 00:40:06,790 --> 00:40:11,870 It got to the point where I was struggling so much to find work that I 506 00:40:11,870 --> 00:40:15,190 back. I went back to doing what I knew how to do. 507 00:40:16,230 --> 00:40:17,650 I started selling drugs again. 508 00:40:18,930 --> 00:40:19,930 Why fight it? 509 00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:25,470 Obviously, I didn't know how to do anything else, so I lost hope. 510 00:40:27,530 --> 00:40:29,930 I just became the old JC again. 511 00:40:34,630 --> 00:40:36,990 Before I knew it, I was back in prison again. 512 00:40:38,530 --> 00:40:42,870 For many, many years, it was just a revolving door, in and out, in and out 513 00:40:42,870 --> 00:40:43,870 prison. 514 00:40:47,810 --> 00:40:50,830 Every time I came home, obviously I needed money. 515 00:40:51,290 --> 00:40:53,150 So I had to hustle again. 516 00:40:55,390 --> 00:40:57,730 My 20s went really fast. 517 00:40:58,650 --> 00:41:00,290 My 30s, gone. 518 00:41:01,370 --> 00:41:03,810 I didn't think I was ever going to break the cycle. 519 00:41:07,390 --> 00:41:10,110 I just thought that that was going to be the rest of my life. 520 00:41:10,890 --> 00:41:13,550 I was just going to be some gang guy in a prison. 521 00:41:16,490 --> 00:41:20,110 I seen so many old guys in there that were never going to come home. 522 00:41:21,060 --> 00:41:22,740 It's when reality really hit me. 523 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,120 I didn't want to die in there. 524 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,800 And that's where I said, that's it, I'm done. 525 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:33,040 No more. Like, I'm going to change from this point on. 526 00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,860 A real spark lit up in me. 527 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,360 I started working out, and it became one of my biggest addictions. 528 00:41:43,700 --> 00:41:47,640 500 push -ups every day, 500 pull -ups, and that's just to warm up for my 529 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:48,640 breakfast. 530 00:41:49,390 --> 00:41:52,530 I started thinking back with all the people that helped me when I was in the 531 00:41:52,530 --> 00:41:53,910 prison in Mexico, in that unit. 532 00:41:55,530 --> 00:41:57,310 They taught me one of the biggest lessons. 533 00:41:59,070 --> 00:42:01,010 Treat others the way that you want to be treated. 534 00:42:04,050 --> 00:42:08,070 A lot of the other prisoners started to see what I was doing, and I started 535 00:42:08,070 --> 00:42:09,250 taking them under my wing. 536 00:42:09,510 --> 00:42:11,850 I was mentoring a lot of the guys in there. 537 00:42:13,350 --> 00:42:17,850 I started thinking about my future for the first time. 538 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:30,370 I just told myself that I wasn't going to waste the little that I had left, and 539 00:42:30,370 --> 00:42:31,370 it was time to live. 540 00:42:32,930 --> 00:42:35,850 I started on the wrong end of life. 541 00:42:36,890 --> 00:42:40,430 I wish I would have had somebody around that could have put me on the right path 542 00:42:40,430 --> 00:42:43,970 when I was a kid. 543 00:42:54,090 --> 00:42:58,710 Rolling Strong is an organization that offers discipleship, mentoring, online 544 00:42:58,710 --> 00:43:04,290 fitness training, gang intervention, and we put God first in everything that we 545 00:43:04,290 --> 00:43:05,290 do. 546 00:43:05,770 --> 00:43:11,110 Its aim is to educate guys like me to live a better life. 547 00:43:13,270 --> 00:43:17,710 Most of these kids, what they're looking for, honestly, is love, to feel 548 00:43:17,710 --> 00:43:19,870 connected and feel part of something. 549 00:43:21,290 --> 00:43:24,320 Gangs give it to them, but it's... It's not real. 550 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:31,160 It's so easy to do what's wrong, but it's very, very hard to be strong 551 00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:37,740 sometimes. And my biggest message is just it's never too late. 552 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:39,940 We can create a change. 553 00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:46,940 My dream and my goal is I want to build a center on 26th Street in my 554 00:43:46,940 --> 00:43:47,940 neighborhood where I grew up. 555 00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:51,440 I want to give those kids a fighting chance. 556 00:43:53,770 --> 00:43:58,390 It's something deep that I have that I want to do. 43628

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