Original subtitles

Joey, you look so gorgeous.

Let me just fluff this up, darling.

Oh, that's perfect.

Oh, you look great.

You look nice, you know.

Yeah, that's good.

Oh, that's a good one.

Yeah, that's nice.

You just think of something pretty,

and everything will be all right, Joey.

I know.

You know, can you get him to have a go?

OK, did you?

Yeah, there's two already.

You can take all of them.

Is that all right?

Yes.

We're waiting with them in here and here.

No, that's good, Mom.

All right, grab it.

Come on.

Let's go.

It's time.

Here I come, Joey.

Ready or not.

You got a costume already, darling?

Yeah.

OK, go ahead.

I'm going to take you to the group for a moment.

Get ready to go.

Well, Joe, this is really it, huh?

We finally made it, huh?

After all those years, man, remember Milwaukee?

Remember Milwaukee and Darien?

That's something.

But now you made it, man.

Joe Cock, the biggest star in all of show business, man.

You got it better than anybody, man.

Because when you walk out there, you can sing good.

You can dance good.

But when you get out there unzipping,

you got those 20,000 screaming groupies out there.

What's the matter?

You can't get up?

What are you going to do?

You got to go out there and show them.

You're going to wave a lipstick.

All right, look, relax, huh?

When I get out there, Murray, it's going to work.

Well, bye, Joey.

It's going to be all right.

Hey, darling, can you relax?

We got a film on here.

He's going to go out there.

He can't get enough.

We're all there.

Oh, stop it, Murray.

Maybe you're not doing it right, darling.

Try it again.

Why don't you try it, Mommy?

Oh, now.

I mean, that's the way it is.

You're going to get it.

Oh, Murray, Murray, please.

This is it.

You know, you don't get it here.

We're finished.

We're wiped out.

Listen, baby, get out of here.

Don't worry, darling.

Everything's going to be all right.

Well, I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I'm going to go out there and show them.

I bet you could get it up every night, huh?

I could get it up if you kept doing that, that's for sure.

It tastes pretty good for a face.

Joe, what's happening here, man? You're Joe Cock, you know?

You can't get it up here. What's going to happen when you get it out there?

You just tell me, what's going to happen when you get it out there?

Now when I get out there, it's gonna be okay.

Oh, God.

Oh, come here.

Why don't you take your clothes off?

so I can feel your balls anyhow.

I always did have a passion for balls.

What time is it?

Uh, 9.35.

9.35? Are you kidding? The Joe Clark concert is on.

He's so hot.

He's fantastic.

It's hot.

Oh, my God.

Oh, he's not so hot.

He certainly is.

seems backdoor, ma'am.

Yeah.

I'm glad you were here.

Now wait till it happens.

OK.

Last at least until the commercial.

Can you see?

Oh, it looks like you.

Let's interrupt this program for a special news bulletin.

This is Walter Cockeyed, CBS News.

Tonight, at the East Auditorium in New York City,

Joe Cock, the world-renowned rock and roll singer,

did not get it up.

I repeat, he did not get it up.

He was famous for his ability to sing to his genitalia,

thereby making it erect.

But somehow tonight, it just did not work.

I repeat that again, it did not work.

His star-crossed rise to world fame

came back in Prokofiev.

When, at the age of six, he saw Snake Charmer

with his big brother in concert.

Being the cover child that he was,

he incorporated this technique for a show act,

and soon was exposing himself for rotary luncheons

and women's club socials throughout the Midwest.

His meteoric rise to stardom

seemed to happen almost overnight,

and none of us, I'm sure, will ever forget

his command performance in Albert Hall in London,

after which Queen Elizabeth placed a garland of roses

on his still-erect penis before thousands of adoring fans.

His like will not come this way again,

and speaking for myself, he will be missed.

Regularly scheduled news.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

What am I going to do?

Oh, I don't know.

So should this be the end?

This is the end.

This is the end, man.

Get out of the door.

You watch out.

Oh, I'm going to relax.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Get her out of my sight!

I know how to shut up in a loud voice!

You just can't hear her anymore!

You've got a little hot face to face!

Don't worry about it, darling. Don't worry.

Hey, Reverend, let's see...

Let's do it in the kitchen.

And I bet I could make your cock so hard, you could play your drums with it.

Yeah.

Joey, I know you're very upset, darling.

I know that it was a bad thing for you to go through.

I'm very upset with you, though.

I must tell you that, Joey.

I mean, after all, Social Security.

I don't want to have to go and collect that, Joey.

What's the matter with you?

I really do.

Why don't you show your mother how much you love her?

Do something for me. Do something really big.

Make me...

Make me big again.

Make me big, Mother.

Oh, make me big.

Go ahead.

You want your mother to give you back your honor?

Everything. Quickly.

Suck it, Mother.

Mom, take this moment just to thank you.

Were you worried?

For restoring it.

Were you worried, sonny?

I wasn't worried, but I'm happy again now.

Do I make you happy, lovey?

You do, mother.

You really do.

You make me happy too, darling.

Keep sucking it, mother.

Mother.

Mother.

Mother.

Mom, thank you.

Were you afraid, son?

No, I just wanted to thank you.

Well, you don't have to thank me, but you could show me that you are grateful.

Are you coming to me with your hand out?

And your legs open?

Is that the pitch?

What son, you've had everybody else, except me.

You of all people.

You have to repay your debt.

Okay, mom.

Sure.

Somebody once called me a motherfucker anyway.

I think it's a little nicer.

Don't you, son?

Son, you're not answering me.

Son, you're not answering me.

Oh, oh, kiss me, oh, that's so beautiful.

I'll start right here.

It's okay.

Now, let's go back a little bit, okay?

I want to get wide.

Back a little.

Suck it.

You suck at mine.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Watch it, Mom.

Move your legs off the...

My pleasure, son.

What did they be doing in there?

I don't know, it sounds awfully strange.

They've been there for over an hour!

What's going on?

I don't know, we were just wondering what our jobs...

Joey's with his mother!

Joey's hanging out with his mother?

Joey's hanging out with his mother?

The door closed, with his own mother.

Oh yeah, he's very upset, what does he want?

Easy mother.

I didn't mean to.

He's got the door closed with his own mother.

Oh, yeah?

He's very upset.

What do you want?

Easy, Mother.

I'm not even moving.

I want you to have a cardiac arrest.

Oh, I won't, darling.

It's just I haven't had a piece of ass

since your father got caught in the meat grinder.

Oh, I feel so good.

Oh, you'll never know what wonderful things you're

doing for your mother, dear.

Oh, how good she feels, yes.

How good she feels.

Yes.

Oh, yes, darling.

Oh, you make me feel like a young girl again.

Yes.

Oh, Mother.

Yes.

Mother.

Yes.

Oh, shut up.

Oh, why?

Oh, I feel so good.

Don't you want to make your mother feel good?

Don't you want to make your mother feel good, hmm?

Oh, yes.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, Joey.

It's probably making him a hot coke or something.

Oh, Joey! Oh, you're making your mama feel so good!

Oh, my baby. Oh, my baby. Oh, yes.

Give mama a kiss. That's your good boy.

Oh, mommy.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Joe. How are you?

Fine. What's been happening?

I'm back on top. Everything's okay.

Oh, really?

I want to reassure everybody everything's fabulous. There's no problem.

I'm back. You know who did it, don't you?

Who?

My mom.

Mom.

Mom did it. She was great. She was fabulous. She got it back up. She put life back into me.

Mom did it.

You fucked your mother?

I fucked her.

You fucked your mother?

I fucked my mother.

You fucked your mother?

I fucked his mother.

I'm back on top.

I've never met anybody who fucked their mother.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm a mother fucker.

Thank you.

You fucked your mother?

I fucked my mother.

Joey, my husband's a little mother.

Wow, wow.

You're a different person.

20 years.

What did you do to her?

You did that?

I fucked her right back into it.

That's who I knew.

Wow.

I fucked her right back into it.

Hey, would you fuck me somehow?

Let's get into it here.

Let's take a few people.

I'm in the fucking everybody now.

Oh, hi.

Hello.

She certainly doesn't look like a 30-year-old, does she?

No, I don't.

Mrs. Cock, you don't mind if...

Oh, no, I don't mind.

I guess you don't mind, do you?

No, I think it's just beautiful.

Lovely young breasts she has there.

Let me see.

Breasts didn't used to look like that.

Oh, how nice.

Oh, children, how beautiful.

Oh, Mrs. Cock.

I forgive you for anything you ever said about me.

Oh, that's quite all right, my dear.

I forgive you, too.

Oh, this is just heaven.

Oh, isn't this just heaven?

Really?

Oh, wow!

Hey, how about that?

I feel like this.

Yeah, me too.

Murray, Murray, it's working.

Everything's fine, sure.

Got it back up, no problem.

Yeah, I want Madison Square Garden.

I want the works.

Right, everything big this time.

Certainly.

Oh, I just want the real thing.

Who needs that?

I may need to get a line of that.

I can't get to her.

You're such a good baby.

You're such a nice big man.

Such a nice big cock.

Oh, this feels so good.

Look at all this.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's really going to be another day.

Oh, oh, I know it's gonna be another 20 years.

Oh, God bless you children.

Oh, how divine you are.

Mrs. Cox?

You give great head.

Oh, I'm so glad you like it.

I just love doing it.

Oh, wow.

You're the cute one.

Come and join with this cup of me.

Doesn't he have a pretty face?

Yes.

I must've done...

Wait a minute, don't give me any shit.

I'm just not with anybody, you know, I want to be with...

Hold the Bible.

Come on.

Put your right hand on the Bible.

I'm going to swear you in.

I want to be with, you know, what's happening.

I want to be, you know, in.

I want to be on top.

That's all.

And you're on top, you know.

You want to be next to me.

You want to suck my cock.

Do you swear, do you pussy swear that you will suck my cock?

I do.

Better than any other groupie I have.

I do.

Do you swear?

Yes, I swear.

All right, then suck my cock.

Really?

Oh, wow.

Thank you.

on top right baby. Big cock right back up there.

Baby, I'm almost coming.

Baby, I wanna talk to you now, okay?

Okay.

No, no, no.

No, no.

Oh, Mrs. Cock!

Oh, Rock!

Oh, Rabbit!

So sweet!

You really are what's happening!

I know.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That was really nice.

Yeah.

I thought all that was good.

Oh, my love.

You're cute when you come, Jessie.

I'll be right back.

Oh, who could it be?

I know.

Murray.

You're kidding.

The garden. Great.

Yay!

The garden!

Oh, Jerry, that's wonderful.

I'm so happy!

I'm so happy!

I wonder...

Oh, you're such a darling.

I know.

What a my champ!

My boy!