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Okay.
you
Good morning.
Morning. Ed Kerwin.
It's a very special weekend we're on here, son.
You might call it a rite of passage.
Dad.
Mr. Kerwin, I have the Venice Week for you and your son.
Great to see you. Thank you.
Thank you very much,
Francis. Christine.
Christine?
Oh, act three already.
Oh, yeah.
Lady Cosgrove tries to kill her husband's blackmailer and the girl who
the dog catcher. Okay, don't tell me. I'm coming to opening night and I want
be surprised.
Oh, well, it's really coming.
I wish I had... Well, I got to get running because...
Miss Halverson believes tardiness is the crime of the century.
So, thank you. Bye -bye.
Convincing the romance novelist. I bet they want to plaster the ballroom with
hearts of flowers. How'd you guess?
What, have you been reading that trash?
I've been doing my homework.
Already halfway through Passions, Burning Ecstasy.
What's the matter? You haven't read it yet?
This month's bestseller, right behind Fortunes, Fiery Flame.
You got your own little fortune, Mark. You remember that bracelet you dropped
off at Lottman Pound?
The one you found outside the bar?
Right.
Right!
Well, 90 days are up. The police sent it back. It's yours.
No.
Don't think rhinestones are for you.
There you are, amigo.
Thank you.
Want a beer, Ronnie?
No, thanks.
Your old man's thirsty.
I want to have a beer. You have to beer with me for a minute.
You like that one?
Dad, listen, maybe we should have waited, huh?
I've got those English lit tests next week.
Now, hey, if your old man can take time off from work, so can you now.
We're going to have a great time, son. Great time.
Hey, where are you going?
I thought I'd unpack and take a walk down to the wharf.
Well, now, that's not why we came here, son.
Yeah.
Look, Dad, I... I don't know why I'm doing that.
Well, you're doing it because you said you would.
Now, we both know it's what you want, Ronnie.
Sure.
Let me get changed. Great.
Plum Park died from neglect.
Spring worm.
Since I'm just a fellow salesperson, I suppose I have no right to complain.
Then don't. Excuse me?
I said, don't you look lovely this morning.
Just because Madame Larisse is away doesn't mean we have to be late.
I picked up some coffee and a strudel if you haven't had breakfast yet.
Oh, my soft spot. The strudel.
Thank you.
Are you still taking that correspondence course?
Oh, yeah.
It's very interesting.
What are you studying, anyway?
Computers.
Repairing alarm clocks might be more worthwhile.
Excuse me. Do you have anything in pigskin?
You're looking at her.
How many years did you work for us, Pete? Was it two or three?
About four.
Four years. Would you believe that, Ron? He could have been one of the best
forklift operators in the state.
But you're doing okay for yourself now, Pete. That's what counts.
You're not doing too bad either.
Well, Kerwin Trucking's become the biggest operation in the West.
Dad won't be happy until it's the biggest in the country.
See these hands?
My dad had worse calluses than those.
He worked 15 hours a day lifting freight. Everything I learned, I learned
my dad, and I never found anything he taught me to be wrong.
So, uh, what are you planning for the weekend?
Well, Ron here has finally found something to replace English Lit.
Dad, I don't think Mr. McDermott's interested.
You remember what it was like when you were 16, huh?
I sure do. I've been trying to forget ever since.
Ah!
Make it nice and legal. Okay, boss.
I'm still surprised nobody claimed it.
You sure the police said it was okay?
It's yours, all right.
How about that?
Setting looks real.
Should be worth a couple dollars.
100, 150.
Yeah? No kidding.
Mark, just remember.
It's tacky to wear diamonds before you're 40.
I like the way he writes.
Listen to this.
Though we started corresponding because of our hobby, after months of exchanging
letters, I'd very much like to have dinner with you. Do you think that
too forward?
Karen, he's only asking for a date.
I haven't gone out much since I got divorced.
He was that bad.
Didn't Mayweather say there are only two good men? One dead, the other unborn.
Karen, it's good to see you laugh.
This could be the opportunity to change your luck.
Oh, we're just pen pals.
What if he turns out to be... What?
Old enough to be your father?
Young enough to get me arrested.
Hello?
Oh, Mr. Kerwin. What a pleasant surprise.
Well, I've been thinking about you, Claire.
Have you now?
I don't get down this way quite as often as I used to.
Been a little while now, hasn't it?
Well, I can always find time for you in my schedule, Ed.
That'd be nice.
But I brought my kid with me.
Oh, Father Sunwick.
Seems just like yesterday you put a strand of pearls around my neck and told
what a proud papa you were.
Well, I still am.
And that's kind of why I'm calling you, see.
I've got this little problem.
Actually, Ron has this problem.
And I was kind of hoping you could help him out.
Well, you're not interviewing for Harvard until next year, so I think this
is gonna have to go.
Let's loosen up here a little bit, huh?
Dad, this isn't my idea of a holiday, you know?
Nothing to worry about, son.
No one's got more moves than Dr.
J. I just don't like being forced into this.
Well, nobody's forcing you.
Then why am I going?
Because you want to.
God, it's real hard to talk to you sometimes, Dad.
Plenty of time to talk later.
Now, look, it's just like buying a car. You spend a little money for the best,
but you get the smoothest riding down.
You'll feel better soon.
You're right. I'll feel better.
That's right.
You know, I like this. Do you have this in yellow?
Cashmere? Let me just check.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I was lost in thought. Lost in thought?
You're a total stranger there.
Look, miss, I'd rather come back when you're not quite so busy.
No, no, no, please.
You did that deliberately.
That was an accident.
Okay, look.
I'll pay for the dress, okay?
Why? So you can rip it again?
Look, Miss Halverston, can't we be a little more civilized with each other?
Um, give me half a chance, I might even grow on you.
Like a wart.
Look, Miss, some other time, all right?
Here.
Oh, look what you've just done.
You lost me that sale.
No matter how hard I try, that woman's never going to like me.
Don't be so pessimistic.
Karen's just had, well, a few bad experiences with men, that's all.
So what? Better get a pen pal.
Work out her hostilities in the mail.
A pen pal?
Yeah.
I've had one for months.
She's a mystery buff.
She's really helped me a lot on my new play.
Have you met her yet?
Don't even know her name.
But she calls me Sherlock Holmes and she signs her letters up.
Dr. Watson.
I wrote her a letter and asked her out to dinner.
What's the worst that could happen?
She can turn out to be old enough to be your mother.
Maybe when you're... father you'll understand pete
16 years old it's just not normal why is it not normal because he's not doing
things the way you did his age i knew the score already what score is that
what else this isn't a girl you sent him to she's a hooker what's wrong with
hookers huh pete
i'll tell you
When his mother died, I thought we'd be a lot closer.
We need each other.
I guess it just didn't turn out that way.
Pushing him into sex, is that how you bring him closer?
I'm not pushing him.
Ronnie's gone along with me on this all the way, Pete. He knows I'm just trying
to help him the way my dad helped me.
How do you know he's inexperienced, did he tell you?
He never tells me anything anymore.
It scares me sometimes. He's so timid.
I think you're getting yourself worked up over nothing.
If your son was turning into some limperess, you wouldn't say it was
For God's sake, Ed, what gives you the right to label a boy like that?
Every ride in the world.
I'm his father, and I love him.
Ron?
Yes. Well, you're even handsomer than I imagined.
I'm Claire.
Come in. I want you to feel right at home.
Thank you, Claire.
Why don't you sit over there?
We won't tell your father I plied you with liquor.
In fact, we won't tell him anything.
Excuse me.
You really don't look like him, do you?
My dad, you know him?
I looked after a couple of business acquaintances of his.
He's a nice man, your father.
He didn't tell me you'd met or anything.
We're just friends.
Now, why don't you take your jacket off and relax?
are you?
Oh, nothing to fear, but fear itself, right?
Everybody goes through that.
You won't hold it against me if I tell you you have a beautiful body, will you?
What did you mean, just friends?
Don't talk.
You like me, don't you?
Like my father liked you?
As a friend?
I'm sorry, Miss Thompson.
This really isn't such a good idea. Ron, we're having such a good time.
It's nothing personal.
I'm just not in the mood for sex with my father's old girlfriend.
Nothing has to happen. We can just sit and talk if you want. About what, huh?
Dear old dad?
No, thank you.
First time for me, my dad took me to see this Italian girl, Angelina.
She couldn't speak any English, but she was real classy like this Contessa.
She'd play these Mario Lanzo records while we were making love.
Oh, I sure do remember sweet Angelina from Salinas.
They tell me...
Claire is a real classy lady, too.
Oh, they tell you that, do they?
Yeah, I can arrange for you to see her again. Would you like that, son?
No, thanks, Dad.
Well, is something the matter?
No, she's... She's a classy lady, like you said. She's... Everything you said
she was.
Well, didn't you have a good time, son?
Yeah, I had a great time, Dad.
Real good time, Dad.
Then, uh... Everything's okay.
Yeah, everything's... everything's okay.
What's the matter, Ron? Nothing is the matter!
Just leave me alone.
After we had lunch, I said to myself, Christine's right.
What am I so afraid of? It's only a date.
So, I accepted his invitation.
Already?
I even went to the post office to hand deliver my letter.
And look what I found in my P .O. box this morning.
Doesn't your pen pal write to you at home?
Oh, no. I never give my address out to a stranger.
I write them in care of a magazine.
That's how it got started.
The St. Gregory?
Tonight?
I'm going to wear a dress that will make me...
His woman of mystery.
Maybe some things are better left a mystery.
I thought you said this was the solution. I just don't want the final
be a disappointment, that's all.
Oh, Christine, this is not the final chapter.
It's the first.
Oh, I feel like my whole life up until now has just been a preface.
Well, here goes my whole month's budget.
You know, even Sherlock Holmes fell in love once.
What do you think?
Will lightning strike twice for Sherlock?
Lightning and thunder.
Eggs Benedict too rich for you?
Uh, I guess I'm just not hungry.
I mean, either.
Because we both need a lot more exercise.
Between the sheets?
Isn't that what you mean?
Look, Ron, why don't you just come right out with it and tell me what it is
that's bothering you?
You're a classy lady.
I didn't sleep with her.
Were you scared?
Is that it?
Dad, what makes you think I'm scared?
Are you so sure I'm...
Virgin? I'm not sure of anything anymore.
But getting you to open up to me is like pulling teeth.
Was that all my fault?
When did you ever have more than two minutes for me? What are you talking
You're always at the warehouse. The office or on the road.
If I even want to talk to you, I've got to compete with the phone, the bank, and
your driver.
A man has to do his work. My dad taught me that.
You'd understand if you just... If I drove trucks like you did?
If I...
lifted crates like you did?
I never said that.
You're going to Harvard next year. I'm very proud of you.
You are?
Of course I am.
Dad, we need real time together.
You never said that to me before.
I see you.
I always got your nose pasted in some book. You have about as much time for me
as you do for going out with girls. Hey, go out.
Carolyn and I have... Carolyn Shaw is somebody you've known since you've been
diapers.
Friends are fine, but girlfriends are a lot better.
I just don't want you to be scared of life.
Afraid of things that you haven't tried.
Does that make me such a bad father?
Mark, what's the matter?
You all right?
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty.
Yours? You know, Mark, they look real.
They are.
It's worth a fortune.
A man like you to have a kid with soft hands, that's charming.
Charming? Soft hands, you make him sound like some kind of a mama's boy.
No, just a young man.
Probably best my dad never lived to see him grow up. Most likely would have
taken a belt to him.
Like he did to you?
Claire.
Thanks for putting it that way. I don't have many years left in this business.
Well, you don't. You're the best.
Oh? I thought the best was Angelina's from Salinas with her Mary Alonzo
Did I tell you that? You told me a lot of things.
You remember.
Mm -hmm.
Angelina was gentle.
Salinas was beautiful.
BioLanzo was passionate.
And I was terrified.
Oh, you never told me that.
You and Ron both.
Maybe, but Ron is the kind of boy... Ron needs somebody a little younger.
Hmm?
Do you have somebody in mind?
Maybe.
Oh.
Hello, Tina. It's Claire.
Hi. Look, do you have anything planned for tonight?
No. No one special.
Just the heir to a trucking empire.
Uh -huh.
He'll be at the St. Gregory tonight.
Cavalier boy.
Come, Watson.
The game's afoot.
Pretty dress.
You really like it?
Yeah.
Oh, look, I'd like to get off early tonight.
That's okay with you.
Sorry, I have an important engagement tonight. I need you to close up.
After yesterday, the least you can do.
Ma, that was an accident.
That's what my ex -husband said when I caught him in bed with his secretary.
Guess you know why I'm here.
I guess I do The rooms all set
I've got the money whatever you say tiger
This
is what $50 ,000 looks like.
I still can't believe it's mine.
Well, I knew it was real the minute I saw it.
What are you going to do with the money invested?
No.
Spend it.
That's the problem with money, Billy.
All it does for some people is make them afraid of losing it.
Not me.
I'm going to throw a huge party.
Right out the grand ballroom.
Champagne. Caviar.
I think I need a manicure.
Hello, life. Here I come.
They're in trouble.
You rent this place yourself?
My dad did.
Oh, what else did daddy do for you?
Is 150 enough?
Depends.
What'd you have in mind?
I thought we were going to do it.
It?
Sex.
Vice, you're under arrest.
I don't know. Who's Tina? This is the girl I met in the bar.
Officer, let's be reasonable.
This boy is only 16.
If this is his first offense, he will be remanded to his father's custody after
he's cited. You're not citing my son. You're not citing my son!
Call your lawyer.
Hello. I'm meeting a friend, Mr.
Holmes.
Mr. S. Holmes, party of two?
I don't believe he's arrived yet.
Oh.
there while you wait?
Oh, well, just a glass of red wine. Thank you.
Um, Holmes, prior to mid -reservations, you're a couple... I don't know how long
ago. Your guest is already here.
I was going to ask you the same question.
Excuse me. There must be some mistake.
We are not dining together this evening. Or any evening.
But aren't you waiting for Mr. Holmes?
That's right, Mr. Holmes. But this is... Watson?
Oh, my God.
Oh, of all the nasty...
Inconsiderate, unfeeling trick. I had no... Oh, my God.
I'll hold the tape.
working late tonight.
Hey, when's the party? I heard you were renting out the grand ballroom. No, it's
booked solid.
But I've been thinking about a condo in Hawaii.
You know, private beach, hot tub, great view of Diamond Head.
Even Megan will have to come down.
Mark, maybe you should invest the money instead. Put in CDs, tax -free bonds.
Dave, who wants to get into a hot tub with a tax -free bond?
Why did you take a swing at the policemen? They were gonna let me go.
Oh, gosh, Ron, I guess I got a little carried away.
Some terrific weekend.
Well, when I was 16, I was practically a weekender in the clink.
Too many six -packs and 70 miles an hour down Coast Highway.
Dad, I'm tired of having you mad at me.
I'm not mad at you, Ron.
I know you're disappointed in me, but I'm still here. We still have to deal
each other as we are.
I am dealing with you.
Are you?
Telling me about weekends in jail, drinking and driving?
Seems to me I'm not the kid in the family.
You sound like you hate me.
I don't hate you. You're my father.
I just don't have anything to say to you anymore.
Watson?
It's five in the morning. Go away.
Come on, John. Open the door just for a minute.
Well?
Well.
Something elementary, my dear Watson.
Fifty thousand dollars.
Find a nice little house and use it as a down payment.
White shutters on the window.
Tom Sawyer picket fence.
Not me.
I'd invest it. But I'd put it in some place nice and quiet where it wouldn't
give me any trouble.
Mr. Danny. Oh, hey, Bo Brummel. When are we all jetting down to the condo?
Why are you supposed to be nice?
Luau's in the moonlight.
Son. Sir.
Yes, well, I don't know.
I think I'll get myself a yacht first.
Then we can really cruise and stuff.
Oh, boy.
Well, you know what they say.
Sure do.
Diamond, our boy's best friend.
I missed the bus. Sorry.
Sam.
This matter doesn't fit?
Oh, perfectly.
But I can't.
Why not?
It's much too extravagant. Besides, it's the thought that counts.
I want you to have it.
But I don't want it.
Look, even if I look good in a dress, it's not my size.
Everyone has the right to have some faults, but you're beginning to abuse
privilege. I see it's pointless to ask you to behave like a normal woman.
You don't do imitations.
Karen. Sam.
How was dinner last night?
Full of surprises.
And here's another one.
I quit.
Appreciate you coming to bat for us, Pete.
You wouldn't think it'd take all night to get sighted.
Well, it's over now. What do you say we get some breakfast, huh?
Well, I, uh... I don't know. I gotta get some sleep.
Okay, well, you and me have some breakfast. I know there's a great place
steak and eggs. Don't tell me what to do.
Easy now there, champ. You had a rough night last night.
Hey, don't kid me about this, Dad.
All right, son, I hear you.
You don't hear me.
It's the whole point, Dad. You never hear anyone but yourself.
Now, you listen to me. Now, you listen.
I told you last night. I've had it.
Let him go, Ed.
He's got to work things out for himself.
I've got to talk to him.
I'm losing him.
Whose fault is that?
While we're having breakfast, we could go over some of the things to do with...
Peter.
Oh, dozed off. Sorry.
Well, I hope I'm paying you for this overtime.
I was up all night.
Oh, one of those?
A witch.
One of our guests, an old friend who got into a little altercation.
Well, nothing serious, I hope.
A comedy of errors. Only his son didn't think it was so funny when they spent
the night in jail.
Coffee? Or would it keep you awake?
Fathers.
Oh.
Fathers are a curious breed.
When I was a little girl, my dad used to call me Vic.
And he wasn't happy unless I came home with two skinned knees and dirt under my
fingernails. And when you weren't his little girl anymore?
Well, then he called me Vicky.
He told all the young men who came to visit that I was his delicate little
flower. And they all better watch their stuff.
Oh, yes, and they all did.
All except one.
And I married him.
Are three
giving you trouble?
I could always blame it on the butler.
Maybe I should introduce a new character.
A real hard -nosed, uptight divorcee.
I don't think Karen enjoys playing that role.
You could fool me. That is one highly strong woman.
But not, uh, not strong nearly high enough.
Oh.
You know you don't mean that.
Hey, forget her.
You didn't think that when you were writing to her.
But you can't live your life to the U .S. male.
You're right. You can't.
That's right.
I wouldn't quit, though.
Why give her the satisfaction?
You're absolutely right.
If she doesn't like it, she can quit.
You might want to write her a letter.
Let her know how you feel.
It's another good idea, but I'll never have to say another word to her ever
again.
Ever.
Dean, thanks for lunch.
I needed a little cheering up now that Elwood's back on the job.
Oh, he changed his mind just to aggravate me.
Well, why not clear the air?
Let him know how you feel. If I never speak to him again, it'll be too soon
me.
You could write him a letter.
Dear Mr.
Elwood, I've had it with pen pals. Stay out of my life.
I've really tried, Mr. McDermott.
I just can't please him.
I don't think my father even likes me.
You know, that's not true.
I know I wake up every day feeling sick.
I can feel after a night of bad dreams.
Dreams where he's yelling at me to shape up and act like a man.
I don't know what he thinks a man is.
I always thought a man was someone who stood up for what he believed in.
Especially if he believed in himself.
I'm tired of arguing with him.
Like that girl I was supposed to meet.
He made it seem like I was a freak just because he thinks I'm inexperienced.
You're not, are you?
Does it matter?
Well, not to me, but it seems to mean a lot to him. Why don't you tell him? Get
him off your back. I can't.
He'd figure out who I was with. It wouldn't be fair to her.
So you're going home.
What else can I do?
You can sit him down and talk to your father.
You keep walking away, you're going to lose each other.
If he won't listen?
Well, you'll still be on top for making the effort.
Spilled nincompoop with two Ms.
They say I don't pretend to be a writer.
Look, I'm sorry what I said about you not being a writer.
Forget it.
No, no, it was cruel. Watson wouldn't have been so cruel.
Blackmail most foul.
We talked about your plays in our letters.
Don't remind me.
Right.
Past history.
I was wondering, what would happen if Lady Cosgrove were actually behind it
You mean, uh... She's blackmailing her own husband?
Well, she was really in love with his half -brother.
The one with the dueling scar.
And then, with Sir Charles away... The entire estate is hers.
That... That is brilliant. That is a brilliant ending. I can kiss you.
Why don't you?
Kiss me, Mr. Elwood.
Kiss me, Mr. Elwood.
It's not exactly how the man with the scar did it.
This is the way.
Mr.
McDermott? You are Mr.
McDermott, aren't you? Yes.
I'm Mrs. Cooper.
Mrs. Philip J. Cooper of Hearn, Texas. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cooper. Anything
can do for you?
I certainly hope so.
Where did the body start?
You see, about three months ago...
Hey,
it's not what you think.
Tina wasn't responsible for the little mix -up. I was just paying her for her
time.
I could stick around if you like.
No, that's okay, honey.
Why don't you just go along?
Okay.
Glad you came back, Ron.
I've got some things to say.
And second, you're a bully.
What'd you say? You're a bully, Dad.
Is that all?
I don't care, do you?
Dad, you don't care if I live or die, just so long as I'm a man, huh?
I care, Ron.
Ron, I care, damn it.
You're all I've got.
You're my son.
I can't be like you, Dad.
I'm through trying.
I don't need an Angelina from Salinas to brag about in 20 years.
That's all that ever was, Ronnie. Just Ed Kerwin talking big.
Always been so angry at me.
Ron.
Ron, I've been angry my whole life.
Not at you.
At me.
I just... I just didn't want you to be afraid.
The way I was afraid.
Dad, you've never been afraid of anything.
I'm afraid I'm losing you.
I love you, son.
We weren't staying here, just having drinks with my friends.
Then Mr. Cooper said to me, darling, maybe you lost it at the St. Gregory.
We were on safari, so what could I do?
Not a phone for a thousand miles.
Oh, I'm so happy you found it.
Oh, anyway, the bracelet would look better on you than me.
I know you didn't have to give it back.
Sure you won't accept a little something in appreciation.
Oh, no, no, thank you, ma 'am.
When I wear it, I'll think of you, Mr. Dannen. Thank you, Mrs. Cooper.
Thank you. Please come back.
What'd you find this time?
I'm no expert, but it sure looks real to me.
Emerald.
The stuff dreams are made of.
Let them be your dreams.
Can't find what you're looking for?
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