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1
00:00:06,489 --> 00:00:09,190
[ROCK MUSIC]
2
00:00:10,092 --> 00:00:13,434
Yes, honey, I have got it right here.
3
00:00:13,534 --> 00:00:15,875
No, no, don't worry. I will.
4
00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,516
All right, sweetheart. Bye.
5
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,581
- Bianca or Nicole?
- Bianca.
6
00:00:19,657 --> 00:00:22,209
Frantic about her book report.
7
00:00:22,238 --> 00:00:23,818
Oh, yeah, "A Wrinkle In Time."
8
00:00:23,875 --> 00:00:25,456
I... I mean, we worked
really hard on that.
9
00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,241
[HORN HONKS]
10
00:00:27,341 --> 00:00:29,362
She forgot it last night
when Pauline picked her up,
11
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:32,283
and it is due this afternoon.
12
00:00:32,406 --> 00:00:35,428
Damn it, I have got a breakfast
in Tribeca in a half hour.
13
00:00:35,505 --> 00:00:37,126
Go. I can drop it off at school.
14
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:40,537
You're already late. I got it.
15
00:00:40,615 --> 00:00:41,808
I don't deserve you.
16
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:43,889
[LAUGHS]
17
00:00:43,989 --> 00:00:45,530
Bye.
18
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:48,531
[ROCK MUSIC]
19
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:52,773
♪ ♪
20
00:00:52,873 --> 00:00:54,534
[GASPS]
21
00:00:54,618 --> 00:00:59,040
Oh, come on, climate change.
It was 68 degrees yesterday.
22
00:00:59,156 --> 00:01:00,377
[EXHALES]
23
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,478
Oh, God, do I not have a coat here?
24
00:01:05,279 --> 00:01:07,280
This'll do.
25
00:01:11,016 --> 00:01:12,422
This is for Bianca Brooks.
26
00:01:12,459 --> 00:01:13,919
She's in Ms. Wong's fifth grade class.
27
00:01:13,944 --> 00:01:15,052
If you just point me in
the right direction,
28
00:01:15,099 --> 00:01:16,048
I can drop it off for her.
29
00:01:16,073 --> 00:01:17,333
We can't actually let you do that
30
00:01:17,358 --> 00:01:18,712
since you're not the registered parent.
31
00:01:18,744 --> 00:01:20,365
- Oh.
- Bianca can pick it up
32
00:01:20,426 --> 00:01:23,007
- from the office at lunch time.
- Oh, that sounds right.
33
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:24,946
Thank you so much.
34
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:26,641
Um, excuse me?
35
00:01:26,991 --> 00:01:29,812
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
36
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:33,720
Pauline, hi. I wasn't
expecting to see you.
37
00:01:33,747 --> 00:01:35,608
- Is that why you wore my coat?
- [GASPS]
38
00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:37,845
Oh, my God, I... I...
39
00:01:37,877 --> 00:01:39,767
there was the recent weather
patterns, and I just...
40
00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:42,293
- Relax, Liza, I'm kidding.
- [EXHALES]
41
00:01:42,318 --> 00:01:43,899
It suits you.
42
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,991
Isn't this just lovely?
43
00:01:46,044 --> 00:01:48,425
Bianca mentioned that
she had two mommies.
44
00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:51,595
Yeah, no, Mrs. Klepper,
45
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:55,322
Liza here is Charles's
girlfriend, not...
46
00:01:56,155 --> 00:01:59,056
- Oh.
- Good-bye, Pauline.
47
00:01:59,081 --> 00:02:01,392
Another successful interaction
for the books, I think.
48
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,196
[LAUGHS]
49
00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:06,071
- Look, Liza, wait.
- Oh, my God.
50
00:02:06,153 --> 00:02:08,974
No, no, no, it's freezing.
Please, keep it.
51
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,157
Consider it an olive branch.
52
00:02:11,211 --> 00:02:12,954
But now that the divorce negotiations
53
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,704
are more or less behind us,
54
00:02:14,881 --> 00:02:16,892
can't we all behave like grown-ups?
55
00:02:16,939 --> 00:02:19,095
- Is this a ceasefire?
- Yes.
56
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:21,482
And my girls love you.
57
00:02:21,512 --> 00:02:23,025
Ooh, you know what?
58
00:02:23,073 --> 00:02:25,295
You should be on the pick-up
list, don't you think?
59
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:28,593
Wow, um... yes, I do think.
You do think?
60
00:02:28,686 --> 00:02:30,387
- I mean, are you sure?
- Yes.
61
00:02:30,471 --> 00:02:32,692
Mrs. Klepper, can we register Liza?
62
00:02:32,784 --> 00:02:35,085
She'll be around for the long haul.
63
00:02:35,216 --> 00:02:36,977
Of course, Pauline.
64
00:02:37,362 --> 00:02:40,477
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
65
00:02:40,824 --> 00:02:44,726
♪ ♪
66
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,814
I should have froze instead
of wearing that coat.
67
00:02:46,851 --> 00:02:48,993
I'd have gotten hypothermia,
but maybe I would have died,
68
00:02:49,075 --> 00:02:51,256
and none of this would have happened.
69
00:02:51,332 --> 00:02:53,513
But it does not do to dwell on dreams.
70
00:02:53,613 --> 00:02:54,994
Dumbledore?
71
00:02:55,118 --> 00:02:57,339
- The girls are on book three.
- [LAUGHS]
72
00:02:57,439 --> 00:02:58,900
And don't worry about Pauline.
73
00:02:58,976 --> 00:03:01,357
- It seems the worst is over.
- Is it?
74
00:03:01,410 --> 00:03:02,720
Because somehow, I got roped
75
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,353
into having lunch with her tomorrow.
76
00:03:04,444 --> 00:03:05,584
[COUGHS]
77
00:03:06,013 --> 00:03:09,195
You're joking. How, why?
78
00:03:09,247 --> 00:03:11,508
All good questions. Moral of the story,
79
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:12,696
I think I need to start keeping
80
00:03:12,745 --> 00:03:14,606
a spare of everything at your place.
81
00:03:14,808 --> 00:03:17,009
Or maybe you should just move in.
82
00:03:18,053 --> 00:03:20,435
- What?
- No, not maybe.
83
00:03:20,669 --> 00:03:22,404
You should move in.
84
00:03:23,052 --> 00:03:26,154
Are you asking me to shack up
at the coffee machine?
85
00:03:26,411 --> 00:03:28,632
Why not? I just think
86
00:03:28,657 --> 00:03:31,078
if you're going to keep
one coat at my place,
87
00:03:31,448 --> 00:03:33,154
why not keep them all there?
88
00:03:33,436 --> 00:03:36,654
Why not start every morning
waking up together?
89
00:03:37,859 --> 00:03:42,012
- Why not?
- Is that a yes?
90
00:03:42,341 --> 00:03:46,043
- I'll think about it.
- Charles?
91
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,244
Can I have a word?
92
00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:50,188
[BRIGHT MUSIC]
93
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,345
Don't overthink.
94
00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:58,693
♪ ♪
95
00:03:58,777 --> 00:04:00,158
I've got big news,
96
00:04:00,242 --> 00:04:02,103
and I wanted
to share it with you first,
97
00:04:02,128 --> 00:04:03,549
since I am your work wife.
98
00:04:03,574 --> 00:04:05,291
Just your work wife, of course,
99
00:04:05,352 --> 00:04:07,580
despite the salacious gossip
in the bull pen.
100
00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:09,711
I'm going to be someone's real wife.
101
00:04:09,757 --> 00:04:12,955
- I'm engaged to Enzo.
- That's wonderful, Diana.
102
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:15,020
Congratulations.
103
00:04:16,536 --> 00:04:18,578
Do I have your blessing, Charles?
104
00:04:19,045 --> 00:04:20,226
Sure.
105
00:04:20,286 --> 00:04:22,287
[LAUGHTER]
106
00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:25,351
[LAUGHS]
107
00:04:25,679 --> 00:04:27,901
It was spontaneous,
so there's no ring yet.
108
00:04:28,127 --> 00:04:29,387
People won't know
unless it's announced.
109
00:04:29,487 --> 00:04:30,988
And of course, I can't announce it.
110
00:04:31,088 --> 00:04:33,609
That's like lighting
your own birthday candles.
111
00:04:36,369 --> 00:04:38,830
Would you like me
to announce it, Diana?
112
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,471
Oh, Charles,
113
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,272
you've always been able
to read me like a book.
114
00:04:42,372 --> 00:04:44,534
[BRIGHT MUSIC]
115
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,981
♪ ♪
116
00:04:47,112 --> 00:04:48,767
Okay, first order of business:
117
00:04:48,792 --> 00:04:50,493
- The Debutante Ball.
- I'm sorry, what?
118
00:04:50,573 --> 00:04:52,549
I could have sworn you
just said "debutante ball."
119
00:04:52,619 --> 00:04:53,999
I did, yes.
120
00:04:54,107 --> 00:04:56,321
"Publisher's Weekly"
throws this big party
121
00:04:56,346 --> 00:04:57,959
every year where first-time authors
122
00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:01,299
are escorted by their mentors
into publishing society.
123
00:05:01,336 --> 00:05:02,838
It's corny, but...
124
00:05:02,863 --> 00:05:04,350
But it is the event of the season.
125
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:05,681
Remember when Maureen Dowd
126
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:06,903
and Jennifer Egan wore the same dress?
127
00:05:06,947 --> 00:05:08,247
I swear, it affected book sales.
128
00:05:08,272 --> 00:05:10,627
Listen, it's a big press op,
129
00:05:10,707 --> 00:05:11,972
and we're missing our debutante.
130
00:05:12,026 --> 00:05:14,861
First time authors.
Why not Jake Devereux?
131
00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:17,252
- Hard pass.
- Quinn doesn't want to do it?
132
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:18,408
Seems right up her alley.
133
00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:21,533
She's busy on
the campaign trail, thank God.
134
00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:24,135
What about the notorious PTB?
135
00:05:24,192 --> 00:05:25,705
Could you please use your words?
136
00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:27,391
Pauline Turner Brooks.
137
00:05:27,562 --> 00:05:29,303
I know we lost her upcoming sequel,
138
00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:32,041
but nothing sold better than
"Marriage Vacation" last year.
139
00:05:32,116 --> 00:05:33,497
Well, I could ask her.
140
00:05:33,597 --> 00:05:35,244
I'm having lunch with her tomorrow.
141
00:05:35,344 --> 00:05:37,752
Oh, okay. That's pretty big news.
142
00:05:37,807 --> 00:05:38,877
Not that big. Makes sense.
143
00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:40,478
Former author and editor reunite.
144
00:05:40,502 --> 00:05:41,572
It seems downright ordinary.
145
00:05:41,604 --> 00:05:43,305
I believe we have
even bigger news today.
146
00:05:43,397 --> 00:05:45,618
Isn't that right, Charles?
147
00:05:46,023 --> 00:05:48,955
We do? We do!
148
00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:52,728
Everyone, uh...
Diana is getting married.
149
00:05:52,884 --> 00:05:54,588
- What?
- You are?
150
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,826
- To who?
- It's "to whom,"
151
00:05:57,036 --> 00:05:58,617
and his name is Enzo DeLuca.
152
00:05:58,709 --> 00:06:02,049
Oh, Diana DeLuca.
Well, it's better than Trout.
153
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,986
I'm keeping Trout.
154
00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:07,622
Yay!
155
00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:12,811
This is exciting! I'm so excited!
156
00:06:12,849 --> 00:06:14,110
Why aren't you excited?
157
00:06:14,135 --> 00:06:15,755
Liza, please deactivate yourself.
158
00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:17,648
First, planning, then excitement.
159
00:06:17,721 --> 00:06:19,072
Okay, well, I am here to help.
160
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,665
Good, but I will make
all the arrangements,
161
00:06:20,690 --> 00:06:21,783
and you just make yourself useful
162
00:06:21,808 --> 00:06:22,949
- on the day of.
- The day of?
163
00:06:22,999 --> 00:06:24,221
What's left to do on the day of?
164
00:06:24,276 --> 00:06:26,221
Well, helping me get dressed,
running interference,
165
00:06:26,268 --> 00:06:27,736
with my harrowing
new gaggle of in-laws.
166
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:29,465
That kind of thing.
167
00:06:29,698 --> 00:06:31,661
You mean, like, maid of honor stuff?
168
00:06:32,872 --> 00:06:34,773
If you want to promote
yourself to that, fine.
169
00:06:34,842 --> 00:06:37,183
Diana, I would love
to be your maid of honor.
170
00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:39,402
You get one hug a year.
171
00:06:40,435 --> 00:06:42,185
- And this is it.
- Ah!
172
00:06:42,334 --> 00:06:44,515
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
173
00:06:44,732 --> 00:06:47,369
- Okay.
- Okay, yay!
174
00:06:47,881 --> 00:06:50,990
♪ ♪
175
00:06:51,216 --> 00:06:54,117
[ROMANTIC MUSIC]
176
00:06:54,201 --> 00:06:57,083
♪ ♪
177
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,626
[DOOR OPENS]
178
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,588
- Are you baking?
- Oh, I made your favorite.
179
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:07,126
Pecan pie and pinot noir. Sit.
180
00:07:08,288 --> 00:07:10,389
Remember in "A Star Is Born"
181
00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:14,376
when Jackson makes that steak
for his dog?
182
00:07:14,455 --> 00:07:16,494
This is giving me that kind of vibe.
183
00:07:16,581 --> 00:07:18,362
Charles asked me to move in with him.
184
00:07:18,387 --> 00:07:21,169
Oh, wow! Is that guilt pie?
185
00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,511
- And wine.
- Liza, you can unclench.
186
00:07:23,595 --> 00:07:25,648
- I'm happy for you.
- I know it's fast,
187
00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,284
but it feels right.
188
00:07:27,337 --> 00:07:31,611
It's a milestone.
I've never lived with anyone.
189
00:07:31,876 --> 00:07:35,838
You're my longest relationship.
Well, you were.
190
00:07:35,897 --> 00:07:37,518
You and I are not breaking up.
191
00:07:37,543 --> 00:07:39,404
- I'm just going uptown.
- Well, anything that requires
192
00:07:39,446 --> 00:07:42,148
the 6 train is officially
long distance.
193
00:07:42,318 --> 00:07:46,010
I am going to miss you.
Our wine nights,
194
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:48,150
binging "The Great British Bake-Off,"
195
00:07:48,691 --> 00:07:50,312
paint fumes lulling me to sleep.
196
00:07:50,405 --> 00:07:53,080
Oh, God, I am going to send you off
197
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:56,197
with a cheap thrills to-go kit.
Don't you worry.
198
00:07:56,299 --> 00:07:58,398
- Oh!
- [SNIFFS]
199
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,117
You go call Charles and say yes.
200
00:08:01,163 --> 00:08:03,148
I know you want to. All right?
201
00:08:03,636 --> 00:08:06,538
[SOFT MUSIC]
202
00:08:06,661 --> 00:08:12,304
♪ ♪
203
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,018
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
204
00:08:16,118 --> 00:08:18,019
♪ Black lipstick, high drama ♪
205
00:08:18,119 --> 00:08:19,380
- How is Kelsey doing...
- So Nicole's getting...
206
00:08:19,409 --> 00:08:20,588
- as publisher?
- Really good at violin.
207
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,022
- Sorry.
- No...
208
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,860
- Kelsey is killing it.
- Oh!
209
00:08:25,901 --> 00:08:28,755
It's new terrain, but we're
trekking through it together.
210
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:31,002
I always admired your partnership,
211
00:08:31,159 --> 00:08:34,256
and not only because
it benefitted my book.
212
00:08:34,758 --> 00:08:37,963
So how is life as a full-time author?
213
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,339
Honestly, I've been blocked
on my sequel.
214
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:43,674
That surprises me.
I felt like the last time
215
00:08:43,699 --> 00:08:46,330
we saw each other, the words
were just flowing out of you,
216
00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:48,948
like a river or a tsunami.
217
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:54,955
Yeah, I was really hurt,
and I was being vindictive.
218
00:08:55,306 --> 00:08:58,109
But the truth is, I should
have stayed at Millennial.
219
00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:01,744
I should have stayed with you, Liza.
220
00:09:01,929 --> 00:09:03,670
I mean, you were a dream editor.
221
00:09:03,973 --> 00:09:06,830
You always knew how to get
the best pages out of me.
222
00:09:07,011 --> 00:09:11,994
In fact, maybe now that
we're burying the hatchet...
223
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:13,494
You want my help.
224
00:09:13,565 --> 00:09:16,744
Oh, if you could just read
one or two chapters.
225
00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:21,243
Liza, you understood me
in a way my new editors don't.
226
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:24,689
- I need you.
- Okay.
227
00:09:25,038 --> 00:09:27,892
- I'll take a look.
- Oh, thank you!
228
00:09:27,979 --> 00:09:29,800
But I actually need a favor in return.
229
00:09:29,845 --> 00:09:32,431
- Okay.
- Millennial is invited
230
00:09:32,469 --> 00:09:35,091
to PW's Debutante Ball tonight.
231
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:37,908
Oh, that soiree for first-time authors.
232
00:09:37,965 --> 00:09:39,698
I know that it's totally last minute,
233
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:42,972
but would you be our deb?
234
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,329
Are you kidding? I'd be delighted.
235
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:49,049
- And I dance a mean waltz.
- [LAUGHS]
236
00:09:49,119 --> 00:09:50,822
Do you need to borrow a dress?
237
00:09:51,059 --> 00:09:53,961
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
238
00:09:54,186 --> 00:09:56,637
♪ ♪
239
00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:59,244
- ♪ I'm extra ♪
- Hey, Liza.
240
00:09:59,269 --> 00:10:00,969
I just wanted to share some news.
241
00:10:01,015 --> 00:10:02,436
So a friend of mine
from "The New Yorker"
242
00:10:02,461 --> 00:10:04,887
is coming tonight,
so we are going to be
243
00:10:04,926 --> 00:10:06,547
the talk of the town, literally.
244
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,421
Okay, I'll see you tonight. Can't wait.
245
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,627
I think it's wonderful
that you're so friendly
246
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:12,846
with your ex's girlfriend.
247
00:10:12,897 --> 00:10:15,186
Oh, well, what are you going to do?
248
00:10:15,483 --> 00:10:17,304
In my circles,
men are always running off
249
00:10:17,329 --> 00:10:18,830
with their 20-something assistants.
250
00:10:18,861 --> 00:10:22,187
20-something?
That woman isn't 20-anything.
251
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:25,556
- I don't know what you mean.
- Well, I scanned her license
252
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,165
when she registered as a guardian.
253
00:10:27,265 --> 00:10:29,783
- Sorry, I'm confused.
- Well, I'm not supposed to
254
00:10:29,816 --> 00:10:32,503
share this sort of information, but...
255
00:10:32,753 --> 00:10:35,694
[TENSE MUSIC]
256
00:10:36,029 --> 00:10:43,033
♪ ♪
257
00:10:44,187 --> 00:10:46,016
Excuse me.
258
00:10:48,498 --> 00:10:50,879
[JAZZY MUSIC]
259
00:10:51,096 --> 00:10:53,070
I think this is
so ridiculous, isn't it?
260
00:10:53,095 --> 00:10:54,235
Yes, supes redic.
261
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,880
It's like prom for grown adults.
262
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,681
- So obviously, I am here for it.
- Yeah, I wouldn't know.
263
00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,131
I skipped my prom to go to
a Danity Kane meet and greet.
264
00:11:01,156 --> 00:11:03,191
- Kelsey.
- I'm not proud.
265
00:11:03,291 --> 00:11:05,441
Uh, yeah, I lost my virginity
at prom, actually.
266
00:11:05,588 --> 00:11:06,969
Well, most of it.
267
00:11:07,093 --> 00:11:08,193
[CHUCKLES]
268
00:11:08,218 --> 00:11:09,759
What about you? Prom king?
269
00:11:09,784 --> 00:11:12,165
- How'd you know?
- Oh, yeah, that tracks.
270
00:11:12,266 --> 00:11:14,674
- Refill, please.
- Yes, my queen.
271
00:11:14,865 --> 00:11:17,646
- Prom king!
- ♪ There goes my heart ♪
272
00:11:17,903 --> 00:11:19,444
- Cheers.
- Liza Miller?
273
00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:21,140
We're lining up all the debutantes
274
00:11:21,165 --> 00:11:22,825
and escorts backstage.
Would you please follow me?
275
00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:24,650
Of course. Save me a dance.
276
00:11:24,696 --> 00:11:26,393
Hm.
277
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,417
Hi. Can I talk to you?
278
00:11:31,478 --> 00:11:33,619
- Is everything okay?
- [SCOFFS]
279
00:11:33,844 --> 00:11:35,985
There's no easy way to say this,
280
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:39,970
but Liza is 42.
281
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,689
Did you hear me? I said that the woman
282
00:11:47,714 --> 00:11:51,964
you're with has been
lying to you and me
283
00:11:51,989 --> 00:11:54,992
and everyone this whole time.
284
00:11:56,455 --> 00:11:58,776
This isn't how
I wanted you to find out.
285
00:12:00,847 --> 00:12:04,409
What? You knew?
286
00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:07,769
Charles...
287
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,836
I trusted her with our girls.
288
00:12:10,861 --> 00:12:13,768
Mrs. Brooks, there you are.
We need you backstage ASAP.
289
00:12:13,793 --> 00:12:16,769
- You're up next.
- I...
290
00:12:22,971 --> 00:12:25,192
Oh, you look beautiful.
I love the sash.
291
00:12:25,296 --> 00:12:27,505
Introducing Pauline Turner Brooks,
292
00:12:27,536 --> 00:12:30,941
author of the best-selling
novel, "Marriage Vacation."
293
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:35,941
Arm in arm, please.
294
00:12:36,453 --> 00:12:38,615
Pauline's escort tonight
is Liza Miller,
295
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,414
editor at Millennial Print.
296
00:12:40,484 --> 00:12:42,865
Pauline and Liza's partnership
is a special one.
297
00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:46,755
She's the only debutante who's
mentor is the younger one.
298
00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:49,592
What an incredible story.
299
00:12:52,908 --> 00:12:55,449
Um, hello, everyone.
300
00:12:55,838 --> 00:12:58,739
I was so looking forward
to being here tonight
301
00:12:58,941 --> 00:13:02,123
with my editor, Liza Miller,
302
00:13:02,418 --> 00:13:06,283
who I put my absolute faith
and trust in
303
00:13:06,405 --> 00:13:08,533
as I was writing my first book.
304
00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:11,206
Some of you know
I've been working on a sequel,
305
00:13:11,244 --> 00:13:14,033
and I have to admit, it's been hard
306
00:13:14,066 --> 00:13:16,668
avoiding the sophomore slump.
307
00:13:16,853 --> 00:13:22,357
Just found myself writing
the most clichéd story.
308
00:13:22,391 --> 00:13:24,888
The heroine, the long-suffering wife,
309
00:13:24,943 --> 00:13:27,677
returns from a writing
sabbatical only to find
310
00:13:27,702 --> 00:13:32,885
that she's lost her husband
to a young assistant.
311
00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:35,942
I don't think it's any secret
that my writing
312
00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:38,228
is somewhat autobiographical.
313
00:13:38,420 --> 00:13:42,642
So imagine how stunned
I was to learn that the truth
314
00:13:42,749 --> 00:13:45,653
is much more dramatic than anything
315
00:13:45,678 --> 00:13:47,658
I ever could have written.
316
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:50,744
Because the truth is,
the young assistant...
317
00:13:50,853 --> 00:13:52,434
[TENSE MUSIC]
318
00:13:52,535 --> 00:13:55,244
This assistant...
319
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,941
♪ ♪
320
00:13:56,966 --> 00:13:59,988
Is not the 20-something
she claims to be.
321
00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:05,103
Liza Miller is 42 years old...
322
00:14:06,701 --> 00:14:09,216
And she has been lying shamelessly
323
00:14:09,241 --> 00:14:11,716
about who she is for years.
324
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:15,432
[INDISTINCT WHISPERS]
325
00:14:21,217 --> 00:14:23,838
God, this woman is deranged.
326
00:14:23,955 --> 00:14:25,736
Forgive me, Charles,
but I cannot just stand by
327
00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:27,286
and let her slander us like this.
328
00:14:27,332 --> 00:14:29,114
- Diana, don't...
- Pauline, you are the only
329
00:14:29,163 --> 00:14:31,518
- shameless liar here.
- Diana, wait...
330
00:14:31,543 --> 00:14:33,888
You are a sad and petty person,
331
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:35,294
simply jealous of the person
332
00:14:35,319 --> 00:14:36,818
that you ex-husband fell in love with.
333
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,880
How dare you? How dare you besmirch
334
00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:40,600
this young, innocent woman's name?
335
00:14:40,638 --> 00:14:42,339
Have you no decency?
336
00:14:42,462 --> 00:14:44,200
We are officially withdrawing
you as our debutante.
337
00:14:44,225 --> 00:14:46,543
- Sash, please.
- Diana, it's true.
338
00:14:47,341 --> 00:14:49,041
It's all true.
339
00:14:49,244 --> 00:14:52,145
[STIRRING MUSIC]
340
00:14:52,542 --> 00:14:59,545
♪ ♪
341
00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:03,432
- Diana, wait...
- You stay the hell
342
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,159
away from me.
343
00:15:20,414 --> 00:15:23,660
- Diana!
- Hey, don't push it.
344
00:15:27,304 --> 00:15:31,260
- Oh, my God, Diana!
- Call 911.
345
00:15:33,923 --> 00:15:35,944
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
346
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,154
Hey, I got here as quick as I could.
347
00:15:38,185 --> 00:15:39,566
What's going on? Is she all right?
348
00:15:39,617 --> 00:15:41,318
The doctor said it was a panic attack.
349
00:15:41,343 --> 00:15:42,523
[EXHALES]
350
00:15:42,731 --> 00:15:45,193
Okay, how's she doing?
351
00:15:45,262 --> 00:15:47,397
We don't know.
She won't let us see her.
352
00:15:48,743 --> 00:15:50,744
[EXHALES]
353
00:15:52,697 --> 00:15:54,698
[KNOCKING]
354
00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:59,109
Hey, are you okay? What happened?
355
00:15:59,193 --> 00:16:01,575
Oh, I'm... I'm fine.
356
00:16:01,636 --> 00:16:04,484
I just lost trust
in humanity as a whole.
357
00:16:04,513 --> 00:16:08,726
But other than that, I'm fine.
The Ativan is helping.
358
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:13,547
Liza has been lying about her age,
359
00:16:13,603 --> 00:16:17,156
and everyone knew except me.
360
00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:20,064
Really? Well, how old is she?
361
00:16:20,265 --> 00:16:23,320
- She's 42.
- Huh.
362
00:16:23,381 --> 00:16:25,135
She looks good.
363
00:16:26,144 --> 00:16:29,055
I... I just mean, she
had me fooled, too.
364
00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:34,668
Everybody knew, Enzo. Except me.
365
00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:35,884
[LAUGHS]
366
00:16:35,909 --> 00:16:38,118
I'm the laughingstock.
I'm the village idiot.
367
00:16:38,201 --> 00:16:40,266
I mean, how could I not see it?
368
00:16:40,528 --> 00:16:42,292
It's like that old saying, you know?
369
00:16:42,354 --> 00:16:44,312
If you smell a fish,
and you look around the room
370
00:16:44,354 --> 00:16:47,039
and you don't see a fish,
you're the fish.
371
00:16:47,066 --> 00:16:51,697
Look, Liza's outside.
Why don't you talk to her?
372
00:16:51,729 --> 00:16:54,197
No. No, I can't.
373
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:56,721
Just you.
374
00:16:59,122 --> 00:17:02,626
Fine, I will talk to your lawyer.
375
00:17:04,181 --> 00:17:05,920
[PHONE BEEPS]
376
00:17:05,956 --> 00:17:08,561
Lawyer? What's that all about?
377
00:17:10,677 --> 00:17:12,098
Pauline's furious.
378
00:17:12,144 --> 00:17:14,595
She wants to revisit
our custody agreement.
379
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,241
[EXHALES]
380
00:17:16,334 --> 00:17:18,875
Well, now is not the time
for me to move in.
381
00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:23,235
- That'll only make things worse.
- Liza, I am so sorry.
382
00:17:23,379 --> 00:17:27,361
- What are you apologizing for?
- She is my responsibility.
383
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:29,259
Pauline is the mother of my children.
384
00:17:29,284 --> 00:17:31,665
I should have been honest with
her about it from the start.
385
00:17:32,087 --> 00:17:35,796
- You were just protecting me.
- [EXHALES]
386
00:17:41,438 --> 00:17:45,540
You guys should head home.
She doesn't want to see anyone.
387
00:17:45,718 --> 00:17:48,619
[SOFT MUSIC]
388
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:54,563
♪ ♪
389
00:17:54,709 --> 00:17:56,710
[PHONE BUZZES]
390
00:17:57,984 --> 00:17:59,645
[PHONE CLICKS]
391
00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:01,181
- Josh.
- Did you...
392
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,248
did you just get back from Bergdorfs?
393
00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:04,737
Hey, how's the weather up there?
394
00:18:04,774 --> 00:18:07,384
- Is it different?
- What are you talking about?
395
00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:09,720
Rumor has it that you
396
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:12,915
are officially
an Upper East Side lady now.
397
00:18:14,556 --> 00:18:19,631
I'm not. I'm staying put.
398
00:18:19,696 --> 00:18:22,881
I'm staying exactly where I am.
399
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:29,017
Hey. Liza, are you okay?
400
00:18:29,752 --> 00:18:31,907
I made a mess of everything,
401
00:18:31,994 --> 00:18:34,175
and this time, there's no going back.
402
00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:36,728
I really... I just...
I don't know what to do.
403
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:41,943
Well, do you want to talk about it?
404
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:47,693
- How much time you got?
- However long you need.
405
00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:52,017
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
406
00:18:52,415 --> 00:18:54,056
"The real stories that Millennial print
407
00:18:54,081 --> 00:18:55,568
"aren't in their youth-buzzy books,
408
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:57,696
but behind the scenes." Nice.
409
00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:59,540
There are so many ways
we could have avoided this.
410
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,720
- So many!
- This is a PR nightmare.
411
00:19:01,751 --> 00:19:03,407
You know, this explains everything.
412
00:19:03,432 --> 00:19:04,642
I mean, she doesn't have Snapchat,
413
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,946
she thought Four Loko was a rapper.
414
00:19:06,991 --> 00:19:08,884
I saw her taking extra Splenda packets
415
00:19:08,909 --> 00:19:10,450
from the diner and I thought
she was just being quirky.
416
00:19:10,491 --> 00:19:12,321
Listen, we need to do
major damage control.
417
00:19:12,346 --> 00:19:14,454
- Yes.
- It's like we're cursed.
418
00:19:14,527 --> 00:19:16,657
- My scalp's itching me.
- No, Kelsey, no.
419
00:19:16,687 --> 00:19:19,588
The good news is that Quinn
already knows about Liza's age.
420
00:19:19,641 --> 00:19:22,033
Oh, the silver lining's around here
421
00:19:22,058 --> 00:19:24,150
just keep getting thinner.
422
00:19:24,224 --> 00:19:26,686
Quinn knows.
Oh, what about the interns?
423
00:19:26,724 --> 00:19:28,765
Did they know before me, too?
424
00:19:32,428 --> 00:19:34,569
- He hates me.
- I'll talk to him.
425
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,876
Good morning, Ms. Miller.
426
00:19:36,923 --> 00:19:38,259
- Lauren.
- My parents raised me
427
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,760
to respect my elders.
428
00:19:40,151 --> 00:19:41,892
Look, I know I have
a lot of apologizing
429
00:19:41,929 --> 00:19:44,760
to do around here, but there's
somewhere I need to start.
430
00:19:44,786 --> 00:19:46,167
Have either of you seen Diana?
431
00:19:46,205 --> 00:19:48,386
Oh, yes, Diva's been in since 6:00 AM.
432
00:19:48,462 --> 00:19:49,650
Ma'am.
433
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:51,759
[BRIGHT MUSIC]
434
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:55,065
Did you get fresh Botox, or...
435
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,143
Bye bye.
436
00:19:58,768 --> 00:20:00,798
♪ ♪
437
00:20:00,882 --> 00:20:02,488
[KNOCKING]
438
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,988
Come in.
439
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:10,299
Hello, Liza, if that's
even your real name.
440
00:20:10,399 --> 00:20:11,985
Lauren said you came in early.
441
00:20:12,019 --> 00:20:15,237
Yes, I've been drafting
your termination latter.
442
00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:17,394
Of course. Diana, if you'll just
443
00:20:17,447 --> 00:20:19,908
- let me explain.
- What a charade this has been.
444
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:22,290
Hm? First Charles, now this.
445
00:20:22,318 --> 00:20:25,680
I can't seem to keep up with
all the lies that you've told.
446
00:20:27,049 --> 00:20:29,190
You must have had a good time
at my expense.
447
00:20:29,227 --> 00:20:30,859
No, it wasn't like that at all.
448
00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:33,065
What was it like, Liza?
449
00:20:33,344 --> 00:20:36,650
It was really hard lying to
someone I care about so much.
450
00:20:36,718 --> 00:20:38,571
Diana, I owe so much to you.
451
00:20:38,623 --> 00:20:40,617
You were the only person
who wanted to hire me.
452
00:20:40,642 --> 00:20:42,008
Well, I wouldn't have if I'd known.
453
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,784
Exactly. That's why I had to lie.
454
00:20:46,702 --> 00:20:49,003
I saw this opportunity to work for you,
455
00:20:49,032 --> 00:20:51,212
the biggest opportunity
that I have ever had,
456
00:20:51,237 --> 00:20:53,138
and I had to take my shot.
457
00:20:53,213 --> 00:20:55,947
And my life opened up when I did.
458
00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:59,007
You can't win the game
without playing the game.
459
00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:04,928
- You taught me that.
- But for what, Liza?
460
00:21:05,169 --> 00:21:08,631
I mean, I have been searching
my mind for hours,
461
00:21:08,723 --> 00:21:10,223
and for the life of me,
I cannot come up
462
00:21:10,248 --> 00:21:12,315
with one good answer to the question,
463
00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:14,682
"What self-respecting adult
would go to those lengths
464
00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:17,058
for this job?"
465
00:21:17,790 --> 00:21:20,611
To get me coffee and chopped salad?
466
00:21:20,876 --> 00:21:23,923
To hand-stitch my pants?
To clean out my bird cage?
467
00:21:23,963 --> 00:21:26,808
To bring my urine sample to the doctor.
468
00:21:27,211 --> 00:21:30,665
To... to... to hold my hand when I
was alone on the red carpet?
469
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:32,954
To convince me to fight for
Enzo when I chased him away.
470
00:21:32,979 --> 00:21:34,991
Who would do that?
471
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:42,634
I mean, it couldn't have been
just for the money.
472
00:21:42,908 --> 00:21:44,590
Of course not.
473
00:21:46,590 --> 00:21:48,751
I did all those things for you.
474
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,721
Well, maybe you did what you had to do.
475
00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:57,917
And I can respect that.
476
00:22:00,866 --> 00:22:03,588
You're lucky you hitched
your wagon to a star.
477
00:22:05,974 --> 00:22:08,410
But if we are going to forge forward,
478
00:22:08,921 --> 00:22:13,910
honesty is the best policy.
Is that clear?
479
00:22:15,660 --> 00:22:18,569
- I couldn't agree more.
- And one more thing.
480
00:22:18,910 --> 00:22:21,159
You are no longer my maid of honor.
481
00:22:21,471 --> 00:22:25,374
- I understand.
- You're my old maid of honor.
482
00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:26,335
[LAUGHS]
483
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,597
- That's very funny, Diane.
- That's not a joke.
484
00:22:32,379 --> 00:22:34,847
- Liza?
- Yes.
485
00:22:36,378 --> 00:22:38,564
I just want to say...
486
00:22:44,969 --> 00:22:48,010
I... I need the numbers
for the new releases.
487
00:22:48,857 --> 00:22:51,718
[SOFT MUSIC]
488
00:22:52,177 --> 00:22:53,678
I know that I can find it myself,
489
00:22:53,731 --> 00:22:56,753
but I would prefer you to do it.
490
00:22:57,780 --> 00:22:59,764
I love you, too.
491
00:23:00,118 --> 00:23:04,616
♪ ♪
492
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:14,147
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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