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1
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,395
How can those stupid British
ever hope to win?
2
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,311
Morning.
Good morning.
3
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,031
Morning, Mr. Hodges - Hodges.
4
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,392
Morning, Mr. Jones.
Nice morning.
5
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,909
Ah! Good morning,
Mr. Mainwaring, sir.
6
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,279
Morning, sir.
Morning, Wilson. Wilson!
7
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,994
You're going the wrong way.
I know, sir, but do you mind
8
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,519
if I'm a little bit late
this morning?
9
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,039
I have to go in here...
Why?
10
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,912
Well, I've got to change
my egg, you see.
11
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,236
This week's one's
just a little bit off.
12
00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:15,908
Well, hurry up.
Aye, sir.
13
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,998
As chief clerk, you're supposed
to open the bank.
14
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,396
If there's a queue in there, you'll
have to change it at lunchtime.
15
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:22,828
All right, sir. All right.
16
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,795
What?!
Sorry, guv.
17
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,758
Morning, Miss King.
Morning, Mr. Mainwaring.
18
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,632
Morning, Pike.
Morning, Mr. Mainwaring.
19
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,356
The war news looks rather serious,
doesn't it, Mr. Mainwaring?
20
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,516
Nothing to worry about, Pike.
21
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,077
Believe me, the whole German attack
will just fizzle out.
22
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,079
Miss King.
Yes, sir?
23
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,111
That lipstick is far too bright.
24
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,834
That's the sort of thing
that gives the bank a bad name.
25
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,871
Yes, Mr. Mainwaring.
26
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,915
Pike. Don't wear your pencils
in your top pocket like that,
27
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,872
it looks very common.
No, sir.
28
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,799
When I was a young bank clerk,
we had to wear morning dress.
29
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,991
Managers in those days
were absolute Tartars.
30
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,677
Change the date
on that calendar.
31
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,552
I say, how much longer are you
going to keep me here?
32
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,112
Can I help you, sir?
Yes, cash that, will you?
33
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,754
I'll take it in 1 s.
Certainly.
34
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,949
I don't think you have an
account with us, do you, sir? Hmm?
35
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:42,191
No, I haven't.
Have you an arrangement?
36
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,628
No.
37
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,751
I'm afraid I can't cash it.
Why not?
38
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,635
Ten pounds is rather a lot of money, and I
don't know you. After all, there is a war on.
39
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,319
I'm well aware of that.
40
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:55,035
I should have thought, under the circumstances,
you'd have abandoned all that red tape.
41
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:59,199
On the contrary. We have to be even more careful.
For all I know, you might be a German spy.
42
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,994
Oh, rubbish.
It's not rubbish, sir.
43
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:06,399
They're being dropped all over the continent by
parachute. Some of them are even disguised as nuns.
44
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,795
Are you mad? Do I look like a nun?
45
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,037
Even so, I'm afraid we can't
take a chance.
46
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,919
Let me speak to someone in authority.
I am in charge here.
47
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,232
Are you going to cash my
cheque or not? I am not, sir.
48
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,640
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm rather busy.
49
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,592
Damned bank clerk!
50
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,794
I happen to be the manager.
51
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,998
But of course you are, sir.
52
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,158
Come into my office, Wilson.
Right, sir, right. Yes, of course.
53
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:39,798
What's the matter?
You look upset, general.
54
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,036
Damned bank clerk!
55
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,158
Do you want to buy
any petrol coupons?
56
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:08,120
I managed to get it changed, sir.
The egg.
57
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,312
When we met, I was just going back
into the grocer's in order to change it.
58
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,637
Oh, I'm not interested
in your domestic arrangements.
59
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,435
But, otherwise, have you,
uh, seen the paper?
60
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,352
The news isn't very good.
61
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,910
I can assure you, Wilson, this is all part
of our master plan to lure them into a trap.
62
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,396
I don't know what you're worrying about.
They'll never break through the Maginot Line.
63
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,874
It's impregnable.
Haven't you heard, sir?
64
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,593
It was on the wireless
just before I left.
65
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:37,395
The Germans have reached Holland.
Good Lord!
66
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,750
How on earth
did they manage to do that?
67
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,316
I could have sworn that they would
never break through the Maginot Line.
68
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:43,794
Quite right, sir,
they didn't.
69
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,951
Aha! I thought not! I'm a pretty good
judge of these matters, you know, Wilson.
70
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,628
They went round the side.
I see.
71
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,710
They what?
They went round the side.
72
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,198
That's a typical
shabby Nazi trick.
73
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,078
You see the sort of people
we're up against, Wilson?
74
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,315
Most unreliable, sir.
75
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:05,030
By the way, Anthony Eden is making an
important announcement in five minutes' time.
76
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,800
Oh, really, sir, is he?
Yes. It's about home defence.
77
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,195
Switch the wireless on, would you?
78
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,191
Well, it's going to be
rather difficult, sir.
79
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,152
Why must you always
question everything?
80
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,669
Never mind.
I'll switch it on myself.
81
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,795
We haven't got a wireless, have we?
No, sir. We haven't.
82
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,875
Come on.
We'll go over to Elliot's Radio Store
83
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,991
and hear it there.
All right, sir. Right.
84
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,436
Come along.
I'm coming as quick as I can, sir.
85
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,749
Disgraceful. Our boys
fighting the Nazis,
86
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,428
and people over here
are guzzling ice cream.
87
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,432
Morning.
Hello, vicar.
88
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:49,914
Mr. Wilson.
Come inside.
89
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,269
WILSON!
Right, sir.
90
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,199
Anybody about?
91
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,038
Good day, Mr. Mainwaring.
Can I help you?
92
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,798
Yes, turn the wireless on
at once, please.
93
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,718
Certainly, sir. Which one
would you like to hear?
94
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,354
I don't care, any one will do.
Well, uh...
95
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,313
Well, uh, what about this model?
The Dulcitone.
96
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,159
Six pound 10, or if you wish
you can have it on easy terms.
97
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,794
Just turn it on, will you?
Very well, sir.
98
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:20,832
What's the matter with it?
It isn't working!
99
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,508
Well, really, sir, it has to warm up,
you know.
100
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,269
- and who wish to do something
for the defence of their country,
101
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,790
for now is your opportunity.
102
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,518
We want large numbers of such men
between the ages of 17 and 65...
103
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:36,711
It's a lovely tone.
Be quiet.
104
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:41,391
to come forward now and offer their
services in order to make assurance
105
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,079
doubly sure.
106
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,555
The name of the new force...
Hear that, Wilson?
107
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,512
Perhaps you'd like to hear
a different station?
108
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:48,948
Leave it alone!
109
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,515
- the Local Defence Volunteers.
When on duty,
110
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,314
you will form part of the
armed forces.
111
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,592
In order to volunteer,
what you have to do
112
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:02,157
is to give in your name at your
local police station.
113
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,309
That was an appeal by
the Right Honourable Anthony Eden...
114
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,159
That's it, Wilson. Let's get down
to the police station and sign on.
115
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,318
Uh, but, sir. What about the wireless?
Don't you want to buy it?
116
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,318
Don't be ridiculous.
Come along.
117
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:19,394
They should report at once to their
local police station. Although men...
118
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,873
Thank goodness we're getting some
action at last. We'll show those Nazis.
119
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,276
We'll give Hitler a bloody nose.
Yes, of course we will, sir, yes.
120
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,950
I'm sorry. Thank you.
So sorry. Beg your pardon.
121
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,348
Mr. Mainwaring.
Ah, hello, Jones.
122
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,630
I've just heard Mr. Anthony Eden's
speech on the wireless.
123
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,195
Yes, we've just heard it at Elliot's.
Yes, well, if you're going to sign on,
124
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,753
I'll come with you.
Oh, good, right.
125
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,552
I am an old soldier, you know.
126
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:43,194
I served with General Kitchener
in the Sudan.
127
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,119
And then I served right through the Boer War,
sir. Right through that, through the Boer War.
128
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,993
Yes.
Then there was the 1914-18 war.
129
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,478
I went through that, you see. Then I got invalided
out because they said my eyes was no good.
130
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,352
But that's rubbish.
There's nothing wrong with my eyes.
131
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,028
Of course not.
Perfectly all right.
132
00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,834
All right?
133
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,670
Wait a moment! One at a time, please.
134
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,278
Now, look here, sergeant, I'm
Mainwaring, manager of Martins Bank.
135
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,631
And I've come to join the LDV.
Yes, and I want to join up too.
136
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,751
I'm an old soldier.
I was in the Sudanese-
137
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,155
Yes, yes, yes-
Well, you'll just have to wait your turn.
138
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,271
I'll take all your names and
addresses, and in due course,
139
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,357
you'll hear from
the appointed commander.
140
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:32,788
Who is the appointed commander?
141
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,672
I don' t know.
He hasn't been appointed yet.
142
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,030
Oh, we can't put up
with all this red tape.
143
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,477
Name, please?
Steady on! I was here first.
144
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,116
It's no use, Wilson.
We have to do something quick.
145
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:45,992
We have to do
something quick, you know.
146
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,156
There's only one thing for it.
I'll have to take charge.
147
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,873
Why don't you take charge.
You take charge, sir.
148
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,719
Do you think that's wise, sir?
There's nobody else here, is there?
149
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,872
Excuse me, officer. Is there
a convenience of some sort?
150
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,277
Let's get these men down to the church
hall. See if we can sort them out.
151
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,313
Follow me to the church hall, men!
152
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,151
I must get their attention somehow.
Help me on to the counter, will you?
153
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:12,029
All right, sergeant, leave this to me.
I'm taking charge from now on.
154
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:16,797
All right, men! Quiet, Please!
155
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,118
Pay attention!
156
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:23,433
I'm sure the sergeant is doing
his best, but times like these
157
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,950
call for an experienced,
practical man.
158
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,553
We must stand firm.
159
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,751
That's right, sir. Stand firm.
160
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,269
That's how we fought the
Fuzzy-Wuzzies, firmly standing.
161
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,471
Even now, Nazi paratroopers may be
clambering into their planes.
162
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,199
We haven't a moment to lose.
163
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:46,037
As an experienced officer who fought in
the last conflict, I am now taking charge.
164
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,271
Are you behind me?
Yes!
165
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:59,035
Times of crisis always bring
natural-born leaders to the fore, Wilson.
166
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,471
Really, sir?
Right. Follow me, men.
167
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,674
Hold it! Back out of here!
168
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:11,393
Back up!
169
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,431
Wilson, tell them to back up.
170
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:17,676
Would you mind backing up, please?
please back up.
171
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,950
It's so hot and uncomfortable.
172
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,272
Follow me, men!
173
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,833
Morning.
Oh, excuse me, uh, Padre.
174
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,918
I don't suppose you'd be interested
in buying some petrol coupons?
175
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,269
Buying?
176
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,517
Yeah, they're a bob each. Tell you what.
Special price for you. Ten bob a dozen.
177
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,631
Or, failing that,
you can have some...
178
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,795
Hello, what's going on up there?
I really have no idea.
179
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,351
Well, you know what they say: Where
there's crowds, there's business.
180
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,871
Hang on. See you later.
181
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,439
Pike, tell the men to wait here.
Come along, Wilson.
182
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,039
We can't use that office, sir.
It's the vicar's.
183
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:23,959
Oh, I can't help that.
This is a national emergency.
184
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,715
You're shutting me out, Mainwaring.
All right. Come in, Mr. Jones.
185
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,638
Sir, thank you, sir.
Now just stand there by the door,
186
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,956
will you,
and keep very, very quiet.
187
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,678
Do you think this is wise, sir? I mean, as
you've got absolutely no authority to take charge.
188
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,156
Oh, don't quibble, Wilson. Somebody's got to be
the appointed commander. And who better than me?
189
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,238
After all, I have a position of respect
in this town. I'm the bank manager.
190
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,193
Not to mention the fact that during the last
conflict, I served as a captain in France
191
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,312
during the whole of 1919.
The war ended in 1918, sir.
192
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,635
I'm an experienced officer,
and I'm taking charge, all right?
193
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,912
You shall be my second-in-command.
194
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,473
With the rank of sergeant.
Oh. Thank you, sir.
195
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:06,349
Permission to speak, sir? I'd like to
volunteer to be the third-in-command.
196
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,078
Mr. Jones, much as I appreciate
your enthusiasm
197
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,910
and your vast military experience,
I do rather feel that you're a little old.
198
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:20,955
Well...Oh, Mr. Mainwaring,
I've a pound of sausages here.
199
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:27,230
Oh, thank you. On the other hand,
of course, old soldiers never die.
200
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,189
I think he's up to it, don't you, Wilson?
Well, I...
201
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,868
Oh, Mr. Wilson,
I nearly forgot you, didn't I?
202
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,834
Oh, thank you, Jonesy. Thank you, thank you.
Oh, yes, I think he's definitely up to it, sir.
203
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,316
Yes.
You won't regret this, Mr. Mainwaring.
204
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:45,036
Even though the eyes aren't too good, I can
still give them the old cold steel, you know.
205
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:49,552
That's one thing they don't like. They don't like
it up them you know sir. They just do not like it.
206
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,318
No, no, no, I'm quite sure
they don't, Mr. Jones.
207
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:52,748
Come on,
let's get on with it.
208
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,236
We shall need some, uh,
forms to enrol the men.
209
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,437
Chaos! Chaos, that's what it is.
210
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,439
Here we are. Use those.
Right, sir. But...
211
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,868
But these are for church use only, sir.
I can't help that. We must improvise.
212
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,475
Right.
213
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,954
Right, gather round, gents.
I've got a few scarcities here.
214
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,718
Here, hold that, son.
215
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,873
Right, now have a look at this. Very
rare. Knicker elastic, sixpence a yard.
216
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,308
Only a penny in the shops.
217
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,397
Yeah, but you can't get it
in the shops, can you?
218
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,632
Right, get the first man in, Wilson.
Right, sir, right.
219
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,679
Thank you, Mr. Jones.
220
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,717
Would you mind
stepping this way, please?
221
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,115
Just a minute, Wilson.
Yes, sir?
222
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,670
I intend to mould those men out there
into an aggressive fighting force.
223
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,378
And I'm not going to get very
far if you keep inviting
224
00:17:39,379 --> 00:17:41,908
them to
''step this way'' in that nancy voice.
225
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,120
Now make it an order. Bark it out!
Right, sir.
226
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,677
Would you mind
stepping this way? Please!
227
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,148
Hang on!
228
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,113
Hey, we were here first!
Cheat!
229
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,193
Morning, gents.
230
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,151
Right, start taking down
the details, Wilson.
231
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:01,636
Right, sir. Do you, uh...? Do you
really want me to use these forms, sir?
232
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,434
Yes, of course. Get on with it.
All right, sir. If you insist.
233
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,959
Name?
Joe Walker.
234
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,593
Baritone or soprano?
235
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:09,597
I don't know, I suppose a baritone.
236
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,150
Are you sound in the Canticles?
If I wasn't, I'd be a soprano.
237
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,231
Oh, all right.
Put their names down on this.
238
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,668
Right. Thank you.
239
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,872
Don't suppose you'll be with us very long,
will you? You must be due for call-up any day.
240
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,071
I don't think so.
See, I'm in a reserved occupation.
241
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,669
Oh really?
Yeah, I'm a wholesale supplier.
242
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,758
I supply essential supplies.
Any military experience?
243
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,633
I had a girlfriend in the Salvation Army
once. She used to carry the banner.
244
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,239
She had a great big dent
right down there...
245
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,192
Yeah, all right, all right.
Just sign this.
246
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,716
Sign what?
It's for enrolment
247
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,388
in the Local Defence Volunteers.
248
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,838
Do you realise that the Nazis
are poised just across the channel,
249
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,998
ready to invade us at any minute?
I knew they were breathing a bit heavy
250
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,997
down our necks, yeah.
Well?
251
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,156
Are you going to fight
with us or not?
252
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,993
Yeah, sure. Uh, by the way, if ever you
need some silk stockings for the missus...
253
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,758
No, thank you.
Well, what about the girlfriend, then?
254
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,313
How dare you!
255
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,513
I haven't got a girlfriend.
I can fix that for you. How about?
256
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:02,954
I said, no, thank you.
257
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,910
All right, Walker. When you've signed,
just stand up, Would you, please?
258
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,355
Nice, eh, about-turn,
quick march.
259
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,074
Left, right, left, right,
left, right.
260
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,436
Hey, oy, oy, what's all this, then?
What's your game?
261
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,756
Well, it's like the officer said,
isn't it, Joey?
262
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:23,592
There's a war on, eh? Right, come on now.
Left, right, left, right, left, right!
263
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,234
Wilson?
Yes, sir.
264
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,873
Find something for Jones to do,
will you?
265
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,958
Yes, all right, sir,
just leave it to me. Uh, Jones?
266
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,031
Sir!
Would you mind, please,
267
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,630
just going outside
and lining the men up
268
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:41,752
and, uh, just doing things with them?
Very good, sir. Right!
269
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,838
Quick march!
Left, right, left, right...
270
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:52,872
I think we picked
the right one there, Wilson.
271
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,470
Yes, sir. Certainly picked
the right one.
272
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,072
What on earth is going on here?
273
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,239
Oh, well, you see, we couldn't all get in at
the police station, so we had to come here.
274
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,635
They'll never let you fight
the Nazis in that collar, vicar.
275
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,637
Here, how about buying a tie?
Two and six.
276
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,751
Just who is responsible for all this?
277
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,269
Yon bank manager fellow.
He's in his office, there.
278
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,277
That happens to be my office.
279
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,833
Will the next gentleman please...? Oh,
good morning, sir. Do please come in.
280
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,392
Name, please.
281
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,670
Uh, hello, vicar. I hope you don't mind
our using your office.
282
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:35,672
You might at least
have asked permission.
283
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,311
You weren't anywhere about.
And this is a national emergency.
284
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,796
Really, I've never heard
anything like it in all my life.
285
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,074
Who's in charge here?
I am, why?
286
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,548
Are those your men
outside in the hall?
287
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,273
Yes.
Well, get them shifted.
288
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,828
Who do you think you are?
289
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,719
Chief air-raid warden, and I'm
telling you to get them shifted.
290
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,999
I'm using that hall in five minutes time
for an ARP lecture, so get them out, right?
291
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,552
He's awfully rough, isn't he?
292
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,469
What'll we do?
We've only enrolled one so far.
293
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,070
We shall just have to dispense with formalities.
Get the rest of the men in here at once.
294
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,838
Aye, sir, right.
295
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,511
Would you mind, all of you, coming
in here, please? Quick as you can.
296
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:20,912
There's good fellows. Come on.
That's no good.
297
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,191
In here. All of you, at the double.
Thank goodness. At last.
298
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,038
That's the way to do it, Wilson.
299
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,635
I thank you, men, for answering
your country's call.
300
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,796
You and I are here today
because we share
301
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:48,918
one common desire.
302
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,908
A determination to defend our homes,
our wives, our sweethearts,
303
00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:55,156
against a brutal enemy.
Yeah.
304
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,954
And I know that you're not going
to shrink from that task,
305
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:59,513
however unpleasant it may be.
306
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,273
Do you mind turning
your head away, vicar?
307
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,357
I didn't ask to be squashed in here
like this, you know.
308
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,630
Get on with it.
We haven't got all night.
309
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,592
Now, we've no arms.
310
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,314
We're naked.
311
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,550
But we have one invaluable weapon
in our armoury:
312
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,510
Ingenuity and improvisation.
That's two.
313
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,634
Now, I want you to go
back to your homes
314
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,559
and get hold of any weapons
you can lay your hands on.
315
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,070
Be back here at 6:00.
That is, at, uh...
316
00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:32,874
At 1200 hours. 13...
317
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,316
1800 hours, sir.
Thank you, Wilson. I know the time.
318
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,150
And so from tonight on,
319
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,152
whatever the odds,
320
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,313
we're going to be able to look the enemy
squarely in the face and say, '' Come on, Jerry,
321
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,873
we're ready for you.''
322
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,913
Gentlemen.
323
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:58,949
It is only a question of time before
the Allied armies will be crushed.
324
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,755
Our next object will be the invasion
of England.
325
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,677
The F�hrer has ordered a plan
to be drawn up.
326
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,391
It will be called ''Operation Sea Lion.''
327
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,919
Everything must be worked out
to the last detail.
328
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,439
Do not underestimate the British.
329
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,432
They have one thing
in common with us:
330
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,359
They are great organisers.
331
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,831
Squad. Squad, attention!
332
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,154
Platoon ready for inspection, sir.
Thank you.
333
00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:40,113
Splendid turnout, men.
You look very smart, Jones.
334
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,038
Thank you, sir.
That's a vicious-looking weapon.
335
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,789
That's an old Fuzzy-Wuzzy spear, that is,
sir. That'll soon get the Jerries on the run.
336
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,673
They don't like it up them, you know,
sir. They do not like it up them...
337
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,917
No, no, no, quite so. I see you've got
your old uniform out.
338
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:54,475
Yes, sir. And I've taken the liberty to
keep my lance corporal's stripe up, sir.
339
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,113
You did say that
Would be all right, sir.
340
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,912
Mm, well...
I've also taken the liberty
341
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:01,351
of bringing you a little pound
of steak there, sir.
342
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,633
Yes, well, uh, we shall be needing
junior NCOs, shan't we, sergeant?
343
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,910
Oh, I suppose we shall, sir.
Yes, sir, yes.
344
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,159
What's that supposed to be?
You said if we hadn't got anything else
345
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,555
we were to tie a carving knife
to a broom handle.
346
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,832
I didn't mean that you were to leave the
broom on the end of the handle, you stupid boy.
347
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,268
You should have said.
348
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:20,959
I don't want any
insubordination either.
349
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,798
Take this man's name, sergeant.
Right, sir. Name?
350
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,639
Oh, really, Uncle Arthur,
you both know my name already.
351
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,637
Wilson.
Yes?
352
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,433
Why does he call you '' uncle''?
353
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:33,473
Well, you see, I've known his mother
for a number of years, sir.
354
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:38,515
She's a widow. Yes, and she has my ration book,
and I go around to her house sometimes for meals.
355
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,312
And that sort of thing.
What sort of thing?
356
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,159
What? Well, you know...
357
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,274
That's a very formidable-looking weapon.
358
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:54,395
It's not just a weapon.
I've got a wee job to do after dark.
359
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,756
Two for the price of one.
He bashes them and buries them.
360
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,958
He's the undertaker, you see, sir.
Funeral director.
361
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,559
Have you had any previous
army experience?
362
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,115
No. None at all.
I thought not.
363
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,436
You can always tell. Once a soldier,
always a soldier, eh, Wilson?
364
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,756
That's right, sir. Yes, yes.
I'm a sailor.
365
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:14,034
Chief petty officer, Royal Navy,
1914-1918.
366
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,592
What's the matter?
Ah, nothing.
367
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,951
I'm just used to seeing
people lying down.
368
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,277
You shouldn't have bothered to dress.
As a matter of fact, sir,
369
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,879
I was going on somewhere afterwards.
370
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,672
Do you think you'll be very long?
371
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,871
Well, that rather depends on Hitler,
doesn't it?
372
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,548
Not that we want to interfere with your
social arrangements. What's your name?
373
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,512
Ah, Godfrey.
Charles Godfrey.
374
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,438
What did you do?
As a matter of fact, I retired,
375
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,471
but I was 35 years in the army and navy.
376
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,557
Army and navy?
That's unusual, isn't it?
377
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,318
How did you come to be
serving in both branches?
378
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:45,839
I was in gents' outfitting, sir.
379
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,032
In what?
Army Navy store, sir.
380
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:50,912
Uniforms mostly.
381
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,596
Well, I've no doubt that your
specialist knowledge will be
382
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:59,429
of great assistance to us.
Yes, awfully good, sir, yes.
383
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,117
Where did you get that gun?
Well, it's mine.
384
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,159
He's got a gun.
Yes, I know. I can see that, sir, yes.
385
00:26:11,360 --> 00:26:13,874
Well, I'm the officer.
Well, of course you are, sir, yes.
386
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,038
I should have that.
Of course you should, yes, sir, yes.
387
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,351
I think, under the circumstances, it might be
better if I would have that gun. Hand it over.
388
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:22,788
I'm damned if I will!
389
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,672
Have you been in the army?
Yes.
390
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,395
Then you should know that when a superior officer
gives you an order, you should obey it at once.
391
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,990
What's your name?
General Wilkinson.
392
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,918
Ah.
393
00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:38,678
We have a troublemaker here.
Yes.
394
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,872
Get rid of him.
Right, sir, right. I'll do my best.
395
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,958
All right. Stand at ease!
396
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,798
Splendid turnout, men. Splendid.
397
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:49,599
If, after a few hours,
398
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,678
we can achieve this
formidable fighting potential,
399
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,395
just think what we should be like
after a few weeks' training.
400
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:00,959
Now, the first thing that we have to do
401
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,152
is to memorise the stretch of
coastline we shall be defending.
402
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,271
Arthur?
You have the map there, Wilson?
403
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,436
Yes, yes. The, uh...
404
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:12,076
The AA book was the best
thing I could find, sir.
405
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,318
I suppose we shall just
have to make do with it.
406
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,112
Yes, yes.
Arthur.
407
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,477
Could you excuse me just a moment,
sir? I won't be long.
408
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,988
Mavis, what are you doing here?
Why haven't you and Frank
409
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,158
come home for your tea?
We've been at the...
410
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,749
Mr. Mainwaring...
And everything's sort of out of hand.
411
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,349
Oh. I've come to take Frank home.
No, no, please, Mavis, don't.
412
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:36,788
You'll show me up.
413
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,788
Oh, don't be silly, Arthur.
Ma... Mavis...
414
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,071
Frank, where have you been? Your tea's
been in the oven for over an hour.
415
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,953
You're to come home at once.
I can't come now, Mum.
416
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,832
We're learning how to be soldiers.
417
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,759
Well, you'll just have to learn
how to be soldiers some other time.
418
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,270
I brought your mac. Put it on.
It's pouring with rain outside.
419
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,353
Will you be round later, Arthur,
for your usual?
420
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,796
Really, Mavis.
Well, will you or won't you?
421
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,956
You gonna be long, sir?
422
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,438
Come on.
423
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,200
Right, turn to the south coast.
Right.
424
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,598
Godfrey, Would you mind, please?
Yes, sir.
425
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,116
Right, hold it up.
Aye, sir.
426
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,118
Like this. Look. Put it there.
427
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,431
Now, here is the south coast,
428
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,837
and here is Walmington...
Wilson?
429
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,752
You've got your thumb over
Walmington-on-Sea.
430
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,599
I'm so sorry, sir. Beg your pardon.
431
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,109
As I was saying, here is Walmington...
Oh, do keep it still.
432
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,796
Mr. Mainwaring,
where is Walmington?
433
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,112
Look, if you can't see,
come in a bit closer.
434
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,150
Now, pay attention,
everybody. Here...
435
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,954
...is the south coast of England.
436
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,551
Now, 500 invasion barges will
cross here,
437
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:12,153
taking with them the 5th, 7th,
the 8th and the 10th Panzer Divisions.
438
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,873
And here, another
500 invasion barges
439
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:19,038
with four divisions of SS troops.
440
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:24,389
This whole sector will be covered
by 1500 dive-bombers.
441
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,950
Now, the enemy will probably make
his first attack...
442
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:29,833
here.
443
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,750
Now, it Would be foolish
to dissipate our forces
444
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,077
by spreading them along
the whole of the promenade.
445
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,794
So half the platoon will be in the
Novelty Rock Emporium,
446
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,070
and from Stone's
Amusement Arcade,
447
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,748
we shall be strongly supported
by the rest of the platoon on bicycles.
448
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,954
All divisional commanders will be
in touch with me by shortwave radio.
449
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,033
All section leaders will be in touch
with me by Boy Scout runners.
450
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,433
And we shall hold 12 divisions
and 2000 aircraft in reserve here.
451
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,995
A message from the f�hrer,
Herr General.
452
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,754
He wants you to bring the
invasion plans to Headquarters.
453
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,228
A message from your wife, sir.
454
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,512
She wants you to bring back
a pound of Brussels sprouts.
455
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,512
Come on. Over here. Over here.
456
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,831
Pikey, come on, fall in.
Fall in, Section 1.
457
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,713
Here's your patrol instructions
for the night, Pike.
458
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:28,353
Private Frazer and Private Pike,
you patrol the riverbank, right?
459
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:32,519
Yes, Mr. Jones.
Godfrey, you patrol Downside Woods.
460
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,352
What did you say?
Downside Woods.
461
00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:38,438
I want you to patrol them.
Yes.
462
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:43,512
Right. Private Walker, you can patrol
Jubilee Gardens to Recreation Ground.
463
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,234
You've got to prevent
enemy aircraft from landing.
464
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,074
Hang on, I thought you said I could
have the night off. I've got a date.
465
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,192
Joe, you've got to do your duty,
haven't you? She can wait.
466
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,391
Yeah, I know she can wait,
but I can't.
467
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,475
Now, where was I?
Yes, Private Hastings,
468
00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,399
Private Hancock, you patrol
from the pier to the bandstand,
469
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,320
taking special care
against enemy submarines.
470
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,433
Me, I'm going to patrol the
Gas, Light and Coke Company.
471
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:07,868
I'm gonna watch out for saboteurs.
472
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,798
Why, do you think they might
cut the gas off?
473
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,439
Mr. Jones?
What?
474
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,915
Do you think I might possibly
have the spear tonight?
475
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:15,482
Yes, I'll tell you what you ought to do.
476
00:31:15,483 --> 00:31:17,958
You ought to give them the spear
if they're looking for submarines.
477
00:31:17,993 --> 00:31:20,433
Silence in the ranks! That's my spear,
and I'm going to use it.
478
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,916
Now, if anyone approaches, you shout,
'' Halt, who goes there?''
479
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,758
And then you take down
their credentials.
480
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,918
If it's an enemy submarine,
you'll have to shout a bit loud, Sammy.
481
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,680
It's going to be little awkward,
my patrol of the woods, Mr. Jones.
482
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,075
You see, there are
no conveniences there.
483
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,356
No, but there's plenty of trees,
aren't there?
484
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,118
I don't quite like that sort of thing.
485
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,237
Well, I'll tell you what,
if you feel you have to go,
486
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,874
you just recite a poem to yourself.
It'll take your mind off it.
487
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,469
Yes, yes, that's quite a good idea, yes.
488
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,879
Right. To your posts.
Patrol, dismissed.
489
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,718
Come up here for a moment.
490
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,193
Pass a match, sonny.
491
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,234
Listen, son, how Would you like
to do me a favour?
492
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,674
I don't know what you mean,
Mr. Walker.
493
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,399
Psst!
494
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,759
Psst!
495
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,868
You all clear down there?
Are you gonna be long, Mr. Walker?
496
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,753
I've got my own duty to go to.
Yeah, I know, but it's like I told you,
497
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,188
my mum, she's very ill.
498
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:27,833
Come on, Joe.
499
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,793
That's her now, calling me.
500
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:35,629
She don't sound very ill to me.
Joe.
501
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,278
Coming, Mum.
502
00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,280
Halt, who goes there?
503
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:54,798
Halt, or I fire.
504
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:56,839
Friend or foe?
Friend.
505
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,555
Advance and be recognised.
506
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,991
Can I see your identity card?
Yes.
507
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,432
I can't see in this light.
Have you got a torch?
508
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,517
No. I've got a match.
509
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,229
Here, hold that a minute, will you?
510
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:27,994
All right. Here you are.
Thanks. Good night.
511
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,792
Night.
512
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:37,274
Oh, Fred. I'll send the boy around with
your meat in the morning, all right?
513
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,152
Okay.
514
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:52,356
The owl and the pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat
515
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,028
They took some honey and lots of...
516
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,551
Oh, dear.
517
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,916
Squad, attention!
Now, get it right, Jonesy.
518
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,714
Platoon present and correct, sir.
Thank you, sergeant.
519
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,309
Platoon, stand at ease.
520
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,552
Stand easy.
521
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:14,878
Well, men, I've got
some good news for you.
522
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,638
Oh, you mean
our rifles have come, sir?
523
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,668
No, but the ammunition has. And although
we've only been formed for a week,
524
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,950
our first consignment
of uniforms has arrived.
525
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,309
Oh, that's nice.
526
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,109
Dish them out, sergeant.
Right, sir. Let's go, Jonesy.
527
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,390
On the right arm.
528
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,832
As soon as you're dressed, I want
you to gather round this table.
529
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,997
Come along. Sit down on the floor.
530
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,189
Now, it's quite on the cards
531
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:57,315
that Adolf will kick off and the
church bells will signal an invasion
532
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,869
before we have been issued
with our rifles.
533
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:04,113
In that case, our main armament will
consist of these petrol bombs.
534
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,316
Now, the petrol bomb
is made up as follows:
535
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,310
One lemonade bottle.
536
00:35:10,720 --> 00:35:13,439
One wick.
537
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,118
Petrol and...
538
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:22,512
a box of matches. Now, our procedure
for tackling a Nazi tank is as follows:
539
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,159
Bomber number one
540
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,636
prizes the turret lid
off with a crowbar.
541
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,871
Bomber number two
542
00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:32,233
lights the wick.
543
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:36,228
And bomber number three
drops the bomb
544
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:37,999
into the tank.
545
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,874
Any questions?
Yeah.
546
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,390
While we're doing all this,
what's the tank gonna be doing?
547
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,433
Come on, hurry up.
Come on.
548
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,755
I'll do the talking.
Think he'll be upset?
549
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:57,996
He'll have to put up with it, won't he?
550
00:35:58,600 --> 00:35:59,828
Yes?
Bells.
551
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,996
Beg your pardon?
We've come for your bells.
552
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:04,191
Oh, yes, for war weapons.
553
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,550
This is a very sad day for me.
554
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,591
Oh, never mind.
Guns before campanology.
555
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,028
I beg your pardon?
556
00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:12,834
It's a little hobby of mine.
Campanology.
557
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,917
Bell ringing.
I had no idea.
558
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,793
You'd better come round
to the church. This way.
559
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,116
Did you have to bring that beastly
thing right across my lawn?
560
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:24,638
You been getting
good attendances lately, vicar?
561
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,068
Beg your pardon?
562
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,919
People pray a lot more in wartime, eh?
563
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,153
Through here.
564
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,035
You know, I don't know how I'm
going to manage without my bells.
565
00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:40,390
Don't worry, vicar, we'll leave you
with one. It's all you need.
566
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,478
Yes, I suppose one must be content
with small mercies.
567
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,238
Come on, let's go and
have a look at them.
568
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,431
They're through here.
569
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:55,070
You know, it's very sad to think
those bells will never ring again.
570
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:03,150
I must hear them just once more.
571
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:11,318
That's the last of the petrol, sir.
572
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,676
How many have we made, Pike?
Two dozen, sir.
573
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,194
All right, men.
574
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:20,430
Now at the moment, these petrol
bombs constitute our main armament.
575
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,240
At a range of anything up to 25 yards,
they can be quite deadly.
576
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,592
Bliss.
577
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:28,588
So the thing to remember...
578
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,358
Permission to speak, sir?
Don't interrupt, Jones.
579
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,710
The thing to remember...
The bells are going!
580
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:35,990
Blimey, he's right, it is the bells.
They're here!
581
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:37,235
Don't panic.
582
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,635
Don't... Don't panic!
Now, Jones!
583
00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:41,753
Be quiet.
584
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:44,832
This is it, men.
Now, listen to me very carefully.
585
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,594
It's quite possible that Jerry could be here
any minute. So I've gotta make a snap decision.
586
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,553
Now, we haven't got enough firepower
to stop him from landing on the beach.
587
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,439
So, what we've got to do
588
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,394
is slow him up so that we can come
to grips with him hand-to-hand.
589
00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:00,937
Now as I see it, the best way
590
00:38:00,972 --> 00:38:04,033
to do that is to throw a barricade right
across the main road leading into the town.
591
00:38:04,068 --> 00:38:07,636
Permission to speak, sir? Got my van
outside, sir. We can all go in that.
592
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,438
Good idea, Jones.
Right, come on, lads.
593
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,911
Don't forget your gas masks.
Quickly as you can.
594
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,034
Wilson. Get the gun.
595
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:18,713
Right, sir.
596
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,556
Back the van up, Jones.
597
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,989
Let them get out first.
598
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,112
Disembark!
599
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:44,029
Give Godfrey a hand there.
Come on, Mr. Godfrey.
600
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,830
Take it away, Jones.
601
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,238
Don't just stand there, Wilson.
602
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,550
Get the barricade built.
Well, what with, for heaven's sake?
603
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,159
Furniture, of course.
Get it out of the houses.
604
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,107
We can't possibly do that.
At a time like this we can do anything.
605
00:39:01,142 --> 00:39:02,977
You take half the men and go up
one side of the street,
606
00:39:02,978 --> 00:39:03,978
I'll take the others.
Right, come on, follow me.
607
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:09,115
Right. Hastings, Joseph, do you mind
coming over here for a minute?
608
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:12,833
Right.
609
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:14,268
Walker, what are you doing?
610
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:15,754
Making myself smart for the Germans.
611
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:20,351
All right, that'll do. Pick up those
bombs. Right. Take up your positions, men.
612
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,033
Thank you, Godfrey. I think we have enough
now. Just put it down and get to your post.
613
00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,435
Right, men,
get into your positions.
614
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,069
Wilson.
Sir?
615
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,994
There are five cartridges left.
616
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,993
If anything happens to me,
you take over the shotgun.
617
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,514
Right, sir.
618
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,990
And if anything happens to you,
619
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,350
hand it to the man next to you.
620
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:25,553
Right.
621
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:37,715
Excuse me, sir.
622
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,070
I think they're coming from behind.
What?
623
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,229
So they are.
It's a typical shabby Nazi trick.
624
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,398
All right, we'll show them.
Round the other side, men.
625
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,910
Now, don't fire till I give the order.
626
00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:07,438
Steady, men.
627
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:14,513
Ready.
628
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,394
Well, that lorry doesn't look German
to me, sir.
629
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:21,352
You never know, Wilson.
630
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,114
Who are you?
Bert King, why?
631
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,796
Didn't you hear the invasion signal?
That was no invasion signal.
632
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,754
That was Harry the vicar
having the last pull at his bells.
633
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,956
What do you think you're doing?
Have you gone raving mad?
634
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:42,388
We thought the Nazis were coming.
635
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,750
Rubbish!
Come on, get this lot cleared.
636
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,230
That's enough of that.
637
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,313
Who do you think you are?
We're the Local Defence Volunteers.
638
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,351
And I'm their appointed commander,
Captain Mainwaring.
639
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,512
And I must ask you to keep your hands
off my privates.
640
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:24,759
This is the BBC
Home Service. Here is the news.
641
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:29,192
At 2.:23 p.m. today, the Admiralty,
in agreement with the French,
642
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,756
announced that Operation Dynamo
was now completed.
643
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:39,513
A total of 338.226
British and Allied troops
644
00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:43,235
have been successfully evacuated
from Dunkirk.
645
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:48,560
The last of the armada of little ships
is now safely in harbour.
646
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:52,309
Forty French and Belgian vessels
also participated.
647
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:57,275
And before midnight,
the British rear guard was embark ed.
648
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:02,231
Summing up the situation in the House
of Commons, the prime minister stated:
649
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:06,035
''We must be very careful not
to assign to this deliverance
650
00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:11,394
attributes of a victory.
Wars are not won by evacuation.''
651
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:24,468
Raymond.
652
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,272
Raymond?
653
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,869
Here, boy, you take this round
to Mrs. Pike.
654
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,150
Then can I go home?
Go home? Go on.
655
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:33,713
Don't be so childish.
656
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,876
Right, next, please.
657
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,680
Here you are, Mr. Jones.
Thank you.
658
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:42,634
My word, you ain't got very much on this. You
shouldn't have had that joint at the weekend.
659
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,519
No, well, you know
what my husband is, Mr. Jones.
660
00:43:45,720 --> 00:43:48,109
I mean, he will insist on his
little bit of brisket.
661
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,352
How much I got?
Two and two pence.
662
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,113
Oh, I'd better have
some chops, then.
663
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,869
Yeah, well, you can only have one and
eight pence worth of fresh meat, you know.
664
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,356
You'll have to make the rest up
with corned beef, right?
665
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,798
All right.
There we are.
666
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,873
Do you want a sausage?
Yes, please.
667
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,828
Good news about Dunkirk, eh?
They got most of our boys out.
668
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,951
Yes.
669
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,197
Bringing our lads back to Blighty
like that was a glorious achievement.
670
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,715
It was a great example of British
improvisation, getting them out of France.
671
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,832
Yes. It was a pity they couldn't have
improvised some way of keeping them there.
672
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,676
We don't want any of that
sort of talk, Wilson.
673
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:50,950
Can I see you for a minute, Mr. Frazer?
674
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:52,388
Well, what do you want?
675
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,433
That's a nice thing to say to a bloke
who's only come over to do you a favour.
676
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:57,995
Here, have a look at this.
Lovely, solid brass coffin handles.
677
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,156
You can't get them
for love nor money.
678
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:04,071
Brass, you say? These are nay brass.
Cheap rubbish.
679
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,396
A week underground,
680
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:08,711
they'll be rusted through.
681
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:11,559
Well, by then, who's going
to know the difference?
682
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:14,356
All right, I'll take a dozen.
683
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:23,278
Better make that two dozen.
684
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,710
Look, look. Like a lot
of little bees, aren't they?
685
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,633
What are you doing standing there
gawking for? Get under cover.
686
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:40,712
There go our brave boys.
687
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,315
Well done, lads. Give them hell!
688
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,114
They're not ours.
They're Nazis.
689
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,993
Rotten swines!
690
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,278
Pike. Come and get on with your work.
691
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,158
Thank you.
692
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,828
No, no. That's enough,
thank you, Mavis.
693
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:26,154
Don't touch the butter, Frank.
It's Uncle Arthur's ration.
694
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:28,148
Sorry, Mum.
695
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,156
You out on patrol again tonight, Arthur?
696
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:34,113
Yes, I'm afraid I am, Mavis.
697
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,788
Oh. You'll have to come back
with Frank and stay here the night.
698
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,468
It'll be too late for you to go home.
Don't fuss, Mavis.
699
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:41,557
We don't want you catching a cold.
700
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,911
I can make you up a bed, like I did
last night, on the settee.
701
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,036
Uncle Arthur must be
a very light sleeper, Mum.
702
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:51,434
Oh, why?
703
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,995
When I came down this
morning for the milk,
704
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:56,549
his bed hardly looked slept in.
705
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,800
Get on with your tea, Frank.
706
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,318
No sign of them yet, sir.
707
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,438
You're hardly likely to spot them
through those things, Godfrey.
708
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:30,868
I don't know, sir,
they're pretty powerful.
709
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:32,957
Well, I don't expect
they'll come now, sir.
710
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:34,559
It's getting dark.
711
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,553
Red Indians are the ones that don't
attack at night, Wilson.
712
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,911
These Nazis will come at any time.
Just can't trust them.
713
00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:42,559
All right, Godfrey.
714
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:44,318
Keep your eyes skinned.
Yes, sir.
715
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,438
Beautiful sunset, sir.
716
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:56,956
It's a beautiful land, Wilson.
717
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,757
They're not going to get it, you know.
718
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:02,156
They're not going to get
their hands on it.
719
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,238
We shall fight to the last.
720
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,199
We shall keep firing until
we've only got one round each.
721
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,431
We shall save that for ourselves.
722
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,116
By the way, how much ammunition
have we got?
723
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:14,358
One round each, sir.
724
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:30,073
Splendid turnout, men.
725
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,915
To look at us, no one would think that
we'd only been formed a few weeks.
726
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,715
We're starting to get our equipment,
and we've each got our armband.
727
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,474
What we've got to do now is to
improvise some weapons.
728
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:42,318
That is the keynote of our training.
729
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,797
This way, if you please, sir.
730
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:50,429
Permission to demonstrate my
rocket-firing anti-dive-bomber gun, sir.
731
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,279
Carry on, Jones.
Kindly note a few details.
732
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:57,439
There are six drainpipes tied together
and mounted on a pram for mobility.
733
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:01,316
The gunpowder inside the rockets
consists of the following mixture:
734
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:04,273
Eight ounces of weedkiller,
a pound and a half of sugar
735
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,397
and a pinch of bicarbonate of soda.
736
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:09,200
Show us how it works.
Thank you, sir.
737
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:11,829
Enemy dive-bomber
overhead! Ready.
738
00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:15,798
Fire!
739
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,598
Come on, Pikey,
come on.
740
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,631
The matches are damp,
Mr. Jones.
741
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:25,428
Let's have a go.
742
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,071
Sorry, sir, have you got a light, please?
743
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:35,668
Yes.
744
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:38,955
Sir.
No, no, no, no, I'll do it.
745
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:53,873
Hey!
746
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:55,679
Excellent, Jones.
747
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,157
Excellent. Look at that, men.
748
00:49:58,360 --> 00:49:59,588
Straight as a die.
749
00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:02,434
I shouldn't like to be on the
receiving end of that lot.
750
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,519
Look out below!
751
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,358
In here! Come on, in here!
752
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,513
You all right, sir?
753
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:32,393
Just one thing, Jones.
754
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:36,390
I don't think you should have
added the bicarbonate of soda.
755
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:07,833
Well done, men. Keep it up.
756
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:09,951
You'll be pleased to hear that in future,
757
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:12,674
instead of being known as
Local Defence Volunteers,
758
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:14,916
we shall be called the Home Guard.
759
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:16,872
And one thing is certain, gentlemen.
760
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,514
Jerry will never catch us
with our trousers down.
761
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:23,150
Permission to demonstrate my one-man
bullet-proof tank, sir.
762
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,715
Who's inside it?
Private Walker, sir.
763
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,477
I'd like you to observe
how bullet-proof it is.
764
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,712
There we are, sir. There's nothing
much could get through that.
765
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:39,078
Now I'd like you to notice the periscope
coming up through the plug hole.
766
00:51:40,720 --> 00:51:43,632
This gives a clarified view
all the way round, sir.
767
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,074
What's its firepower?
768
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:50,192
Oh, very formidable, that is, sir.
769
00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:53,071
Joe, are you there?
Yeah.
770
00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,840
I want to show Captain Mainwaring
how deadly it is.
771
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:57,837
Stick your weapon through the overflow.
772
00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,951
I'm not a flipping
contortionist, you know.
773
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,993
Go on, Joe, you can do it.
Go on, have a go, boy, go on.
774
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:05,557
Come on, Joe.
775
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,069
Doesn't seem very mobile
to me, Jones.
776
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:13,392
Just you watch this, sir.
777
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,433
Stand by, Joe, I'm going to give you
a little shove.
778
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,070
Quick, Walker! Put the plug in!
779
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:34,117
What's that, Mr. Mainwaring?
780
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:36,674
Never mind.
781
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,673
Very smart, men.
782
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:57,279
Very smart.
783
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:00,756
I think I can safely say that we're
ready for anything Jerry can dish out.
784
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,315
All he does is pull the chain.
785
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:12,873
Very interesting.
786
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:14,798
Tell me about it.
Well, sir...
787
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,992
Permission to demonstrate
my anti-vehicle device.
788
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,758
Captain Mainwaring, sir.
789
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,039
See what they want,
corporal.
790
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:24,073
Go on.
791
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:27,075
Will you explain to us, Frazer,
exactly how this machine works?
792
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:28,713
Right, sir.
793
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,758
Now, you see an enemy vehicle
approaching.
794
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:34,633
You pull the chain.
795
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,560
The oil pours all over the road,
796
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,553
and the wheels cannot
get a grip, sir.
797
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:44,112
It's a bit leaky, isn't it?
798
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,592
That's just a wee drop.
That'll not hurt anybody.
799
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:55,388
Staff car coming, sir.
800
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:02,477
That must be General Fullard coming
to inspect this, uh, new weapon.
801
00:54:02,720 --> 00:54:03,869
Excellent, excellent.
802
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,195
Now we can show him how well
we can improvise.
803
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,396
Come along, Jones.
Coming, coming, sir.
804
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:13,918
Hurry up, now.
Come on, Jonesy. Come on.
805
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:15,075
Right, get fell in.
806
00:54:22,280 --> 00:54:24,236
Stop it! Somebody stop it!
Turn it off!
807
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:26,237
What are you doing,
you blundering idiot?
808
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:30,040
Making a shambles of my beautiful
demonstration.
809
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:31,872
Get out of it, you silly old...
810
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:39,953
Come on, turn it off!
811
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:07,112
Good Lord, it's that damn bank clerk!
812
00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:20,433
Platoon, halt!
813
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:26,312
Platoon present and correct, sir.
814
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:27,788
Thank you, sergeant.
815
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,192
Well, men, I think we should all
congratulate Corporal Jones on turning his van
816
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,118
into an armoured car.
817
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:35,158
Next weekend, as you know,
818
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,272
we, along with all the other
Home Guard units in the area,
819
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,074
are taking part in large-scale manoeuvres.
820
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,319
And I think it goes without saying,
that with our new and powerful weapon,
821
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,750
we shall be taking a prominent part
in them. Right, carry on, sergeant.
822
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:48,518
Right, sir.
823
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:52,432
Armoured-car section, fall in!
824
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,075
All right, embark!
825
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:03,190
One, two, three, one, two, three.
Left, right, left, right, left...
826
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:08,953
Right.
827
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:15,432
Enemy on the left. Range, 100 yards.
Five rounds rapid fire!
828
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:20,318
Open, two, three, out, two, three.
Left, two, three, bang, two, three.
829
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:24,308
Bang, two, three, bang, two, three.
In, two, three, close, two, three.
830
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:26,790
Enemy dive-bomber overhead.
831
00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,551
Five rounds rapid fire!
832
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,476
Open, two, three, up, two, three.
Bang, two, three, bang, two, three.
833
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:38,389
Bang, two, three, bang, two, three.
Down, two, three, close, two, three.
834
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,272
Disembark.
835
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,516
Left, right, left, right, left, right...
836
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:52,797
One, two, three, one, two, three.
One, two, three, one, two, three, salute.
837
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,275
Excellent, men, excellent.
838
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,238
There's no doubt about it.
We shall certainly have the edge
839
00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:59,635
on the other Home Guard units
next weekend.
840
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:03,670
By the way, Jones, uh,
I'm going to have your van,
841
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:06,917
your armoured car, converted
into gas. I hope you don't mind.
842
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:08,314
Gas?
843
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:10,954
Yes, it saves petrol.
It'll only take a few days.
844
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:13,310
Should be ready just in time
for the manoeuvres.
845
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:34,990
Hey, Joe. I'll never forget
when I was in the Sudan.
846
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:36,394
Oh, blimey, Jonesy, not again.
847
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:37,834
Sergeant!
848
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,718
Yes, sir?
How much further is it to this camp?
849
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:44,599
About 10 miles.
850
00:57:45,120 --> 00:57:46,394
What time is it?
851
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,352
Twelve o'clock.
Oh, good.
852
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:52,472
Be there in time for lunch.
853
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:56,630
We were surrounded by hundreds
of Fuzzy-Wuzzies, you see.
854
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,912
And so anyway, we'd run out
of ammo, you see.
855
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:02,668
So I just did the only thing
there was for us to do.
856
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:06,839
We all fixed bayonets, you see,
and we let them have it right up them.
857
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:08,359
They don't like it up them, you know.
858
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:11,074
They don't seem to like that,
them Fuzzy-Wuzzies.
859
00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:18,079
Look, Wilson, there's a Stuka.
What? Good heavens. Where?
860
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:19,633
There.
861
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,315
Oh, Lord, are you sure?
Don't argue, man. Carry out the drill.
862
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,033
All right, sir, yes.
863
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:32,188
Don't panic.
864
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,518
Open, two, three, up!
865
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:55,035
It's all right, sir. It was one of ours.
Yes.
866
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,755
I could have sworn it was a Stuka dive-bomber,
the way the wings swept back like that.
867
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,474
Oh, no, no, sir, the Stuka's wings
don't sweep back.
868
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,471
Good Lord, sir, look at that.
869
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:07,714
What are you laughing at?
870
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,753
Well, sir, the thought occurred to me,
if the van's converted to gas,
871
00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:12,996
perhaps we ought to have
changed the drill.
872
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:14,918
Don't you think?
873
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:23,474
See the men get their tea
as quickly as possible, Mr. Dawkins.
874
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,955
Major General Fullard will be
inspecting the camp in an hour.
875
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:27,918
Hurry up, you lot, now, come on.
Get a move on.
876
00:59:28,120 --> 00:59:30,634
Now, don't forget. The general
wants to see a full kit layout.
877
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,592
Every bit of equipment
they've got.
878
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:36,270
What the hell's happened to Mainwaring's
platoon? They're five hours late.
879
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:40,479
No use saying sorry, Jones. You shouldn't have
had your bayonet on your rifle in the first place.
880
00:59:40,680 --> 00:59:43,513
The point is, how are we going to get
the van to go now that the bag's empty?
881
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,870
Why don't we dump the damn thing
and march to the camp.
882
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:47,991
We'll be there in an hour.
How dare you!
883
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:50,794
That is my van,
and you will not dump it.
884
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:53,710
I ain't half hungry.
Oh, be quiet.
885
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:00,838
Do you think
you can help us?
886
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,228
You don't want me,
you want the gas company.
887
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:18,638
Very smart, men.
888
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,193
Very smart indeed.
889
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:24,709
Now, as you know, equipment is in
extremely short supply,
890
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:27,276
So I want you to take
very great care of it.
891
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:35,474
All right, Jones,
you can stop it. We're here.
892
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,039
Jones!
893
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:41,235
Jones, the van's broken away! Stop it!
Stop it! For heaven's sake, stop it!
894
01:00:41,440 --> 01:00:43,351
I can't stop it, sir! I can't stop it!
It's perfectly simple.
895
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:45,949
There are only two things to do!
I've done the two things, sir!
896
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:47,991
I've done the two things!
897
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:52,552
Stop it.
898
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:00,876
Stop it, for heaven's sake,
Jones!
899
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:07,999
What are you doing?!
What are you doing?!
900
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:15,115
It's that damn bank clerk!
901
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,397
Spin it round,
spin it round, sir!
902
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:41,720
Don't panic, don't panic.
Back it up, back it up.
903
01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:43,035
Will you be quiet, Jones!
904
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:01,236
My dear fellow, I'm so sorry,
but I'm afraid we've ruined your tents.
905
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:03,879
That's all right,
sergeant.
906
01:02:04,360 --> 01:02:06,920
You were the ones that were
going to sleep in them.
907
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:34,638
Wilson?
Yes, sir.
908
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:37,518
What are you doing?
Oh, I've just had a wash
909
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:39,438
and a lovely breakfast, sir.
910
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,471
Why didn't you call me?
Well, I didn't like to.
911
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:43,636
You looked so peaceful lying there.
912
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:45,991
What time is it?
Twenty to 9, sir.
913
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:49,670
What? Jones!
Corporal Jones!
914
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:51,154
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
915
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:52,588
Sorry, sir. Sorry, sir.
916
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:54,871
Wake the men up. It's 20 to 9!
917
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:57,594
It's 20 to 9!
Don't panic, it's 20 to 9!
918
01:02:58,080 --> 01:03:00,435
It's 20 to 9! Come along, now.
919
01:03:00,640 --> 01:03:02,312
Come along, now. Get ready
for breakfast. We're late.
920
01:03:02,520 --> 01:03:05,557
Come on. 20 to 9. 20 to 9.
Come on, Pikey.
921
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:08,630
Get your mess tins.
Line up.
922
01:03:12,840 --> 01:03:14,193
Good morning, sir.
Good morning.
923
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:16,755
Oh, good morning,
sergeant major.
924
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,672
May I ask you
where you're going to?
925
01:03:18,960 --> 01:03:21,428
We're going to breakfast, of course.
Breakfast finished half an hour ago.
926
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,278
Oh, no.
927
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,550
We've already missed two meals.
928
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,716
Do you know we haven't
eaten for 24 hours?
929
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,751
Well, breakfast finishes at 8: 15, sir.
930
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:35,517
You better get your men ready, sir.
They're due on parade in 10 minutes.
931
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:39,315
The general's giving the whole camp
the outline for today's manoeuvres.
932
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:48,952
This morning, gentlemen,
933
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:53,472
we shall be engaged in manoeuvres
against a formidable enemy:
934
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,069
A detachment of the Royal Marines.
935
01:03:56,720 --> 01:04:00,235
Now listen carefully.
This is the plan of campaign.
936
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:04,712
Starving with hunger
and stuck here in the bog.
937
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:07,550
It's all yon Mainwaring's fault.
938
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,952
He's made a complete mess of things.
He's not to blame altogether.
939
01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,355
It's really fortunes of war.
Ah, rubbish!
940
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:18,554
- platoon will attempt to get round
behind the enemy and attack from the rear.
941
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:24,359
In order to do this, they will have to
cross the river by the pontoon bridge.
942
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:28,709
That bridge will be guarded
by the Walmington-on-Sea platoon.
943
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:30,194
That's us, Wilson.
944
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:31,594
I suppose it must be.
945
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:33,153
In conclusion, men,
946
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,756
may I point out that you will be
up against regular troops...
947
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:38,798
I ain't half hungry, Joe.
948
01:04:39,040 --> 01:04:41,713
You're not the only one, mate.
They will ask no quarter
949
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:44,957
Suck your thumb.
and expect no quarter.
950
01:04:45,880 --> 01:04:50,317
But I am sure that you will prove that
the Home Guard can take anything
951
01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:54,513
that anyone, anywhere
can dish out to them.
952
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:57,109
So good luck, and give them hell.
953
01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:01,271
Parade! Attention!
954
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:03,711
Dismissed!
955
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,397
They're coming, sarge!
956
01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,352
That'll do, boys, come on.
957
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:44,879
Break step.
958
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:48,032
Halt! Corporal Jones.
959
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:50,078
You and Number 1 Section
stay on the bridge.
960
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:52,840
The rest of you, follow me.
At the double!
961
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:58,668
Hey.
962
01:05:58,880 --> 01:06:02,111
That shouldn't be dangling there.
What shouldn't be dangling?
963
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,276
Rope.
964
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:07,995
Blimey, it's been cut!
Here, Jonesy, grab hold of it.
965
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:10,668
Here, this is supposed to be
over the bridge.
966
01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:12,472
Come on, come on!
Move yourselves!
967
01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,033
What the hell's going on?
968
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:16,356
Right, right, keep it tight.
Pass it on.
969
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:18,278
Pass it on.
Keep it tight. Pass it on.
970
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:20,759
There's no sign of the enemy.
971
01:06:20,960 --> 01:06:22,439
We'll get back to the base.
972
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:25,280
Godfrey, you stay here on watch, and if
you see anything, crawl back at the double.
973
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:27,750
Right, chaps. Take the strain.
Take the strain.
974
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:29,672
Right.
Right!
975
01:06:38,960 --> 01:06:40,279
Where's Captain Mainwaring?
976
01:06:40,480 --> 01:06:42,357
He's just gone up
the other bank, sir.
977
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:44,755
And who are you?
I'm Lance Corporal Jones, sir.
978
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:46,831
Well, haven't you learned
to salute an officer?
979
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:48,792
Yes, sir! Yes, sir!
Well, salute, then!
980
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:51,434
I can't, sir. We're holding...
Salute, man!
981
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:12,437
Permission to speak, sir.
Yes.
982
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:15,632
The general's horse
is drifting down the river.
983
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,239
Good heavens!
Have you told the general?
984
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:19,829
I think he knows.
He's sitting on it.
985
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:25,155
We'll think of something
as we're running along. Come on.
986
01:07:25,360 --> 01:07:28,750
Don't keep running up and down,
waving your arms about.
987
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:33,192
You'll frighten the horse.
Go on, telephone HQ for help.
988
01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:34,634
Yes, sir.
989
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:36,273
There aren't any telephones.
990
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:39,233
I know there are no telephones
on the bank, you idiot.
991
01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:42,353
Send a runner.
Yes, sir. Very good, sir.
992
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:46,155
Couldn't you swim ashore, sir?
I'm a general, not an admiral.
993
01:07:46,360 --> 01:07:47,588
Think of something!
994
01:07:47,800 --> 01:07:51,031
Yes, sir, we'll think of something
as we're running along.
995
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:53,879
Well, run a bit harder.
Yes, sir.
996
01:08:01,480 --> 01:08:04,040
I'm going to give you
some instruction.
997
01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:07,597
If you can hear me,
nod your head.
998
01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:10,674
Did he nod his head, Wilson?
999
01:08:10,880 --> 01:08:12,632
What? I wasn't really
watching, sir.
1000
01:08:12,840 --> 01:08:15,308
Oh, pay attention, do.
Yes, of course.
1001
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:18,119
Did you nod your head?
1002
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,635
Get on with it, you idiot.
1003
01:08:22,080 --> 01:08:27,598
Now, listen carefully. When you get
underneath us, raise your arms.
1004
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:31,679
We're going to lean over
and pull you off the horse.
1005
01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:33,879
Have you got that?
1006
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:35,274
What?
1007
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:38,554
I said,
1008
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:43,990
when you get underneath us,
raise your arms!
1009
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,829
We're going to lean over and-
1010
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:49,794
Yes! Yes, get on with it, you idiot.
1011
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:51,638
Right, Corporal Jones.
Sir.
1012
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:54,718
Take Number 1 Section, hang over
the other side in case we miss him.
1013
01:08:54,920 --> 01:08:56,512
Over the side, Private Leslie.
Me?
1014
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:59,917
I'm not going over there.
Don't argue. Get him over the side.
1015
01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:05,316
This had better work, Mainwaring.
1016
01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:09,472
When I give the word,
1017
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:11,432
grab!
1018
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:16,554
Get this little man out of my way!
1019
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:18,839
Can I...?
Can I help you at all, sir?
1020
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:21,235
Take your hands off me.
1021
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,113
Are you all right, sir?
1022
01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:26,959
You bloody fool!
Attention!
1023
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:31,309
Look, sir, look!
Mr. Mainwaring, I missed him!
1024
01:09:34,160 --> 01:09:36,799
Quick! Quick, men, after him.
Help!
1025
01:09:37,000 --> 01:09:39,912
Hold on, Jonesy! Hold on!
1026
01:09:40,240 --> 01:09:42,310
We'll get you off, Jonesy.
1027
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:47,438
Help!
1028
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:49,871
Help! Help!
1029
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:52,396
Look, sir.
A boat, a boat!
1030
01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:54,397
Ah, Frazer, Wilson, you two
get in the boat.
1031
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:56,636
The rest of you keep on running
down the bank.
1032
01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:58,068
Come on, get in, Wilson.
1033
01:09:58,280 --> 01:09:59,872
I'd rather stay on the bank
and keep running, sir.
1034
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:01,957
Do as I say.
Get in the boat at once.
1035
01:10:02,160 --> 01:10:03,639
Right.
Right, off we go.
1036
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:05,193
Right, now.
1037
01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,595
Take an oar each, you two.
I'll take charge.
1038
01:10:07,800 --> 01:10:11,156
Why you? It's me that was in the navy.
That'll do, Frazer.
1039
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:13,870
Nice horse, nice horse. Yes.
1040
01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:18,316
Now, don't move, don't move.
1041
01:10:19,920 --> 01:10:21,797
Hold on, Jones.
We're coming.
1042
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:25,356
I am holding on, Captain Mainwaring.
I am holding on.
1043
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:29,275
We'll never get through that lot.
We'd better go back to camp.
1044
01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:31,914
Mr. Mainwaring said we've got to
carry on along the bank.
1045
01:10:32,120 --> 01:10:34,156
You'd better take your shoes
and socks off, then, mate.
1046
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:38,799
Wilson, secure the boat.
Aye, aye, sir.
1047
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:42,029
All right, Jonesy.
1048
01:10:42,400 --> 01:10:44,960
We'll soon have you off, son.
Hang on.
1049
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:48,037
Jonesy. The branch.
1050
01:10:48,240 --> 01:10:51,357
The branch, grab it, man.
Grab it and try and stop us.
1051
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:03,273
I've got the branch, sir,
but didn't seem to stop the boat, sir.
1052
01:11:03,480 --> 01:11:07,598
I'll catch you up later, sir.
We'll meet you further down the bank.
1053
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:12,078
Yes, sir. Right, sir.
I'm running along now, sir.
1054
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:17,518
Seems to me we've come to a halt, sir.
1055
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:23,952
Well, there's only one thing for it.
1056
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:26,674
I shall have to swim across
and get help.
1057
01:11:28,040 --> 01:11:31,112
I want you to know, sir,
that if anything goes wrong-
1058
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:35,433
I don't suppose it will, mind you,
but if it does, you can rely on me
1059
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:38,598
to make all the necessary arrangements.
1060
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:04,791
Good luck, sir.
1061
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:07,673
Thank you, Frazer.
1062
01:12:56,960 --> 01:13:00,032
Well, Mainwaring, it's not
a very pretty picture, is it?
1063
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:01,639
No, sir.
1064
01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:04,155
Let's examine your record this weekend.
1065
01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:08,518
You arrive late, crush and ruin
100 sets of equipment,
1066
01:13:08,720 --> 01:13:10,039
a dozen tents,
1067
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:14,028
break a pontoon bridge
and nearly drown a valuable horse,
1068
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:15,474
not to mention me.
1069
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:18,513
And on top of all that, six months ago,
you Wouldn't cash my check.
1070
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:22,432
I didn't know you then, sir.
Well, you bloody well do now.
1071
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:25,992
You know, Mainwaring,
1072
01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:27,918
no matter how good troops are,
1073
01:13:28,120 --> 01:13:30,793
if they're badly led,
they become a disorganised rabble.
1074
01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:33,828
So in the light of what's happened
this last weekend,
1075
01:13:34,040 --> 01:13:36,918
I think I must warn you that I shall
have to reconsider your whole future
1076
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:39,998
as commanding officer of the
Walmington-on-Sea platoon.
1077
01:13:41,480 --> 01:13:43,277
That's all.
1078
01:13:50,440 --> 01:13:52,590
Did you have a nice little chat
with the general, sir?
1079
01:13:52,800 --> 01:13:54,472
He didn't say much.
1080
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:56,318
Just the usual red-tape nonsense.
1081
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,476
Yes, well, I Wouldn't take it
too much to heart, sir.
1082
01:13:58,680 --> 01:14:01,990
It wasn't all your fault. I mean, you've
just been the victim of circumstances...
1083
01:14:02,200 --> 01:14:03,599
most of the time.
1084
01:14:15,760 --> 01:14:19,548
Blimey, they're a bit early.
How far from home are we, Joe?
1085
01:14:19,800 --> 01:14:21,995
Oh, I don't know.
About four miles, I think.
1086
01:14:22,280 --> 01:14:25,989
My mum doesn't like me being away
from home when there's a raid on.
1087
01:14:29,360 --> 01:14:31,999
Blimey, that was quick.
I can hear a plane already.
1088
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:44,228
Ready to go home?
Gut.
1089
01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:56,353
We are hit!
1090
01:14:59,920 --> 01:15:01,638
Yeah?
The plane has been hit.
1091
01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:04,718
They're losing height.
I'll speak to them myself.
1092
01:15:06,520 --> 01:15:08,750
S for Schultz, calling S for Schultz.
1093
01:15:08,960 --> 01:15:10,712
Get those photographs back here.
1094
01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:13,639
You understand? I must have
them at all costs.
1095
01:15:14,040 --> 01:15:16,554
Ready to bail out!
Bail out!
1096
01:15:58,520 --> 01:16:00,795
Platoon, halt!
1097
01:16:35,200 --> 01:16:37,236
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1098
01:16:37,520 --> 01:16:42,833
As you know, this meeting tonight is to
discuss our forthcoming War Weapons Week.
1099
01:16:43,080 --> 01:16:46,959
And so without further ado,
I should like to introduce you to...
1100
01:16:50,240 --> 01:16:51,798
To start the ball rolling,
1101
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,754
I shall call on His Worship,
the mayor, to open the meeting.
1102
01:16:58,760 --> 01:17:01,593
Thank you, uh,
Mr. Chairman,
1103
01:17:01,800 --> 01:17:05,713
councillor, Mrs. Haines
and, uh, Mr. Town-Clerk.
1104
01:17:06,160 --> 01:17:10,551
Ladies and gentlemen, um,
as you know, at this moment,
1105
01:17:10,760 --> 01:17:15,436
our gallant airmen are locked
in mortal combat with the Luftwaffe.
1106
01:17:16,080 --> 01:17:21,473
Now, they are doing their part,
and it's up to us to do our part.
1107
01:17:21,760 --> 01:17:24,433
Now, our plan was to buy a Spitfire.
1108
01:17:24,640 --> 01:17:29,077
But raising the money for a Spitfire,
a whole one, is no easy task.
1109
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:35,993
Walmington-on-Sea shall buy one half
1110
01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:38,395
and the town of Eastgate,
the other half.
1111
01:17:38,760 --> 01:17:40,671
Now, let us not be backward
1112
01:17:40,880 --> 01:17:43,269
in the giving generously to...
Halt!
1113
01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:46,231
All of you,
stay where you are.
1114
01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:48,557
You stay here.
Cover me.
1115
01:17:52,480 --> 01:17:54,755
All right.
Nothing will happen to you.
1116
01:17:56,240 --> 01:18:00,916
Now, all of you will move against that
wall and raise your hands now, quickly.
1117
01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:03,395
Come on, move! Fast!
1118
01:18:03,840 --> 01:18:06,115
Keep your hands up! Now, move!
1119
01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:09,029
Move over!
And keep against the wall.
1120
01:18:09,320 --> 01:18:11,470
You, down as well, quick!
1121
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:14,273
Keep still!
1122
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,911
Keep your hands up!
1123
01:18:20,480 --> 01:18:22,869
Don't anyone move
unless you're told.
1124
01:18:23,960 --> 01:18:25,188
Hello, Mr. Hodges.
1125
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:27,470
Has the lock stuck again?
No, no, it's full of Germans.
1126
01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:30,399
Is it? Why don't you use the one
in the vicarage?
1127
01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:32,670
Where's the nearest phone box?
You can't do that.
1128
01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:34,552
Get out of the way.
1129
01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:43,312
What are you talking about,
full of Germans?
1130
01:18:46,720 --> 01:18:48,039
In!
1131
01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:52,352
Thank you, driver.
1132
01:18:53,760 --> 01:18:55,990
Right. Come on.
1133
01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,316
Get down, all of you,
as quickly as you can.
1134
01:18:58,760 --> 01:19:00,637
Don't forget your rifles.
Right, sir.
1135
01:19:00,840 --> 01:19:02,114
Wilson?
Yes?
1136
01:19:02,320 --> 01:19:04,470
Give the driver something
for his trouble, will you?
1137
01:19:05,800 --> 01:19:07,677
Stand over there with the others.
1138
01:19:08,560 --> 01:19:10,755
Talk about doing the lord mayor's show.
1139
01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:12,951
It don't half pong in here, Uncle Arthur.
1140
01:19:13,160 --> 01:19:15,355
Mum will be furious, me smelling like this.
1141
01:19:15,560 --> 01:19:17,949
Trust Mainwaring to sit in front,
away from the rubbish.
1142
01:19:35,480 --> 01:19:39,075
You, pastor, go to the door.
Whoever it is, send him away.
1143
01:19:39,320 --> 01:19:41,117
Franz, you go with him.
1144
01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:52,790
Ah, good evening, vicar.
You can't come in.
1145
01:19:53,040 --> 01:19:56,589
But this is my HQ.
It doesn't matter, you can't come in.
1146
01:19:57,040 --> 01:19:58,268
What's the matter?
1147
01:19:58,480 --> 01:20:00,630
Nothing. Come back later,
1148
01:20:00,880 --> 01:20:02,108
when I'm alone.
1149
01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:03,679
I don't understand.
1150
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:06,560
It's a special meeting
of the Young Mothers Club.
1151
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:09,433
That's all right, they won't mind me.
Oh, yes, they will!
1152
01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:11,358
You're not in the club!
1153
01:20:24,560 --> 01:20:26,039
How dare you?
1154
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:30,908
Are you all right, sir?
1155
01:20:31,200 --> 01:20:34,670
Well. It's the vicar.
He won't let me in.
1156
01:20:34,920 --> 01:20:36,433
Looks very peculiar.
1157
01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:39,074
Kept winking and asked me
to come back later.
1158
01:20:39,280 --> 01:20:40,713
Are you going to?
1159
01:20:42,160 --> 01:20:43,388
Silence!
1160
01:20:43,640 --> 01:20:45,437
This is preposterous!
1161
01:20:45,640 --> 01:20:47,232
Shut up!
1162
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:52,189
Quick, quick,
take cover, quick!
1163
01:20:56,760 --> 01:20:59,593
Permission to speak, sir.
I think I heard a shot.
1164
01:21:00,000 --> 01:21:01,319
Somebody's got a gun.
1165
01:21:01,520 --> 01:21:03,511
Can't be the Young Mothers Club.
Must be the vicar.
1166
01:21:11,680 --> 01:21:13,352
Call for help.
Oh, don't shove about like that,
1167
01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:14,959
for heaven's sake.
Take cover. The vicar's gone mad.
1168
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:17,230
He's firing at us.
That's not the vicar, it's Germans.
1169
01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:19,078
It's Germans. Don't panic.
Don't panic!
1170
01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:20,998
Jones!
Just give them the old cold steel, sir.
1171
01:21:21,200 --> 01:21:23,111
We'll give them the old cold steel.
Jones, will you be quiet?
1172
01:21:25,520 --> 01:21:26,999
You are going outside.
1173
01:21:27,200 --> 01:21:28,918
You tell your friends
we want a boat.
1174
01:21:29,320 --> 01:21:31,311
If we don't get what we want,
1175
01:21:31,760 --> 01:21:33,671
we shoot all of these, one by one.
1176
01:21:33,920 --> 01:21:35,478
We start with the pastor. Out!
1177
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:40,748
Come on!
1178
01:21:44,080 --> 01:21:45,638
What's happening here?
1179
01:21:45,880 --> 01:21:47,632
How did you get here, sir?
Because I telephoned for him.
1180
01:21:47,840 --> 01:21:50,877
Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
I think I can hear the verger!
1181
01:21:51,280 --> 01:21:53,430
It's me, it's me. Mr. Hodges.
1182
01:21:57,000 --> 01:21:58,228
What's going on?
They want a boat
1183
01:21:58,440 --> 01:22:00,317
to get across the channel.
The only way they'll get a boat
1184
01:22:00,520 --> 01:22:02,397
is across my dead body.
It'll be over the mayor's dead body.
1185
01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:04,795
They're holding him as hostage.
1186
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:06,991
We have to be very careful
how we handle this, sir.
1187
01:22:07,200 --> 01:22:08,918
We're not handling anything,
Mainwaring.
1188
01:22:09,120 --> 01:22:11,839
This is a job for the regular army.
Get your old men out of here.
1189
01:22:12,040 --> 01:22:13,871
But...
Move!
1190
01:22:14,080 --> 01:22:16,310
If I may say so, sir, you're taking
a very highhanded attitude.
1191
01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:17,953
Just clear off!
1192
01:22:21,240 --> 01:22:23,470
Follow me.
1193
01:22:27,120 --> 01:22:29,680
Now, we're going to have to be very
careful how we handle this, captain.
1194
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:33,634
If we open fire, some of those people
in there might get hit.
1195
01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:46,239
You don't think he was referring to me
when he called us old men, do you, Wilson?
1196
01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:50,436
It's utterly absurd bringing the regular
army in. We could have handled this.
1197
01:22:50,680 --> 01:22:51,908
What Would you have done?
1198
01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:54,750
Well, I'd have found a way
into that hall somehow.
1199
01:22:55,720 --> 01:22:57,995
Permission to whisper, sir?
Yes.
1200
01:22:58,200 --> 01:23:01,829
Why don't we creep into the crypt
under the crib, and...
1201
01:23:02,040 --> 01:23:03,678
Come on.
1202
01:23:09,360 --> 01:23:10,952
Lieutenant Short, Royal Navy.
1203
01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:13,072
I hear you've got a spot of bother.
1204
01:23:13,280 --> 01:23:15,271
We'll have to be very careful
how we handle this.
1205
01:23:15,480 --> 01:23:16,754
I've sent for the marines.
1206
01:23:28,760 --> 01:23:30,557
Uncle Arthur.
1207
01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:32,353
What is it?
1208
01:23:32,560 --> 01:23:34,949
This reminds me of that film Dracula.
1209
01:23:35,680 --> 01:23:39,229
They crept into a place like this,
lifted a lid off one of the coffins
1210
01:23:39,440 --> 01:23:40,759
and drove a stake in.
1211
01:23:42,080 --> 01:23:43,274
It ain't half creepy.
1212
01:23:43,480 --> 01:23:45,835
Well, all right, then just don't lift any lids.
1213
01:23:46,040 --> 01:23:48,838
Quiet. This way.
1214
01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:57,952
Come on.
1215
01:24:02,040 --> 01:24:05,271
Captain Crisp, Royal Marines.
I hear you've got a spot of bother.
1216
01:24:05,480 --> 01:24:07,471
We'll have to be very careful
how we handle this.
1217
01:24:07,680 --> 01:24:09,272
I've sent for the police.
1218
01:24:10,840 --> 01:24:12,159
Whatever are we going to do, sir?
1219
01:24:12,400 --> 01:24:15,870
If I'm not back in 15 minutes with the
answer, the vicar's going to be very upset.
1220
01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:18,389
Why?
They're gonna shoot him.
1221
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:21,868
The time is over.
1222
01:24:22,680 --> 01:24:23,874
Give them two more minutes.
1223
01:24:24,160 --> 01:24:25,798
Come on.
1224
01:24:28,560 --> 01:24:31,677
I'm Inspector Hardcastle.
I hear you've got a spot of bother.
1225
01:24:31,920 --> 01:24:34,070
We shall have to be very careful
how we handle this.
1226
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:36,032
I've sent for the fire brigade.
1227
01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:37,918
There's a lot of people about.
1228
01:24:38,120 --> 01:24:40,873
You'd better send for an ambulance
in case anybody gets hurt.
1229
01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:19,832
Frazer, stand behind him
1230
01:25:20,040 --> 01:25:24,556
And I will get his gun
1231
01:25:25,040 --> 01:25:29,318
And I will take my bayonet
1232
01:25:29,520 --> 01:25:32,034
And stick it up his-
1233
01:25:32,240 --> 01:25:33,719
Halt!
1234
01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:35,273
I think they've rumbled us, sir.
1235
01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:42,558
What is this?
1236
01:25:43,320 --> 01:25:45,038
This.
1237
01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:49,760
If you don't put that gun down,
I will shoot you.
1238
01:25:49,960 --> 01:25:52,474
And if you don't put that gun down,
I will shoot you.
1239
01:25:52,840 --> 01:25:54,478
I give you one last warning.
1240
01:25:54,680 --> 01:25:56,591
And I give you one last warning.
1241
01:26:01,440 --> 01:26:03,112
One.
1242
01:26:03,320 --> 01:26:04,594
One.
1243
01:26:05,720 --> 01:26:07,551
Two.
1244
01:26:07,800 --> 01:26:09,279
Two.
1245
01:26:09,680 --> 01:26:11,352
Three.
1246
01:26:11,840 --> 01:26:13,398
Three.
1247
01:26:13,800 --> 01:26:16,758
If you shoot me, there are seven
men to take my place.
1248
01:26:46,080 --> 01:26:48,548
What the devil's happening in there?
1249
01:26:48,760 --> 01:26:50,671
Come on, we're going in.
1250
01:26:50,880 --> 01:26:52,757
Do you think
that's wise, sir?
1251
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,150
Well, I'm damned.
1252
01:27:29,560 --> 01:27:32,632
Hello, Mr. Mainwaring.
We showed them, didn't we?
1253
01:27:32,880 --> 01:27:35,599
We certainly did, Jones.
Yeah.
1254
01:27:41,200 --> 01:27:42,599
It's empty.
1255
01:28:01,840 --> 01:28:04,070
Morning, Mr. Mainwaring.
Morning, Walker.
1256
01:28:12,760 --> 01:28:13,954
Good morning, Mr. Mainwaring.
1257
01:28:14,160 --> 01:28:15,878
Morning, Miss King. Morning, Wilson.
Hello, sir.
1258
01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:18,833
Why, did you know that German's
gun was empty, after all?
1259
01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:21,958
If it comes to that, Wilson,
so was mine.
1260
01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:37,156
Sir, that sea's blowing up awfully rough.
1261
01:28:37,360 --> 01:28:39,828
Aye, they'll never cross the
channel in this weather.
1262
01:28:40,040 --> 01:28:42,315
We should be safe till the spring now,
Mr. Mainwaring.
1263
01:28:42,520 --> 01:28:44,715
In that case, perhaps we could have
the weekend off, do you think, sir?
1264
01:28:44,920 --> 01:28:46,672
The weekend off?
Yes.
1265
01:28:46,920 --> 01:28:48,239
This is war, Wilson.
1266
01:28:49,120 --> 01:28:52,715
It doesn't just finish at 5:00 Friday evening and
start again at 9:00 on Monday morning, you know?
1267
01:28:52,920 --> 01:28:55,150
Anyway, who's to say
they'll come by sea?
1268
01:28:55,400 --> 01:28:57,231
For all we know,
at this very moment,
1269
01:28:57,440 --> 01:28:59,476
they might be digging a tunnel
underneath us.
1270
01:28:59,680 --> 01:29:01,238
Really, sir. That's absurd.
As a matter of fact, sir,
1271
01:29:01,440 --> 01:29:02,759
I heard a scratching last night.
1272
01:29:02,960 --> 01:29:06,839
I thought it might be a mouse, but,
of course, it could have been a Nazi.
1273
01:29:08,160 --> 01:29:10,037
Anyway, there'll be no weekends off.
1274
01:29:10,360 --> 01:29:12,430
Whenever they come,
we'll be ready for them.
1275
01:29:12,880 --> 01:29:16,509
Spring, summer, autumn or winter.
1276
01:29:17,040 --> 01:29:20,555
Over the sea or out of the sky.
Or up between our legs.
1277
01:29:20,760 --> 01:29:22,273
Or up...
1278
01:29:23,440 --> 01:29:25,237
Wherever they come from,
we'll be ready for them.
1279
01:29:25,440 --> 01:29:27,476
Permission to speak, sir.
Yes?
1280
01:29:27,960 --> 01:29:30,474
I think I can hear a burrowing sound.
1281
01:29:30,680 --> 01:29:33,319
Oh, don't be absurd.
No, hang on a minute.
1282
01:29:33,840 --> 01:29:35,398
I think I can hear something.
1283
01:29:38,200 --> 01:29:39,872
Perhaps we'd better make sure.
1284
01:29:40,360 --> 01:29:42,157
Wilson, just put your
ear to the ground.
1285
01:29:42,360 --> 01:29:44,237
I'll cover you.
See if you can hear anything.
1286
01:29:44,440 --> 01:29:45,919
That's impossible.
1287
01:29:46,440 --> 01:29:47,953
Do as you're told.
1288
01:29:50,560 --> 01:29:51,879
Can you hear anything?
1289
01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:54,199
I can't quite make it out, sir.
1290
01:29:54,400 --> 01:29:56,550
What? I can hear something.
1291
01:29:57,280 --> 01:30:00,192
Stop shuffling your feet, boy.
I'm trying to listen.
105981
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