Original subtitles

BOOTS: Macdonald Hall, the school we know and love.

The place my friend Bruno and I

call home 10 months of the year.

It's true, sometimes we lock horns

with the grown-ups in charge,

but they always have our utmost respect and admiration.

[BURPS]

Most of all, Macdonald Hall is where our friends are.

Mm-hmm!

The guys who are always there for us,

and we're always there for them.

The only problem is,

we're not there.

We're here.

[GRUNTING]

No! Stop! Stop!

Ugh!

Damn it.

No...!

Come on!

That's me.

And this is the face I make when I regret going along

with one of Bruno's ideas. In this case,

traveling back from the city to Macdonald Hall together.

We'd be on that bus right now if we didn't miss our train,

but you wanted another selfie with the CN Tower.

That train left early,

and we'll cherish those selfies for a lifetime.

That's Bruno, and that's the face he makes

when he's charming his way out of trouble,

or plotting a way to get us into more.

Yeah, more importantly,

first period starts in 10 minutes.

More importantly, we're right down the road from Manny's.

What?

You haven't heard of Manny's Kitchen?

Oh!

[SCOFFS]

Their fish stick tacos are legendary.

Hold on, hold on.

Um, excuse me,

antique and produce lady,

do you know when the next bus is?

Twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes! No. No way.

Twenty minutes.

[BELL RINGS] [♪♪♪]

We do not have time for this. It is not taco time.

Okay, well, it is and it isn't.

Thanks, Manny.

[CHUCKLES] BOOTS: Hey, let's go!

Mmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you were right.

It is taco time.

And...

still have another 10 minutes before the bus comes.

[BELL RINGS]

Oh, Manny, you know I'mma need that tortilla recipe.

Thank you.

No! No! No! Not again!

[BOTH GROAN]

Are you serious?

Excuse me again,

antique and produce lady,

do you know when the next bus is, heh?

Four o'clock.

Four o'clock?

Thursday.

[GAGS]

Thursday?

All right. Relax, relax, relax, relax.

Hey, hey. I got a plan.

BOOTS: I can't believe she took your suitcase for this bike.

BRUNO: I can't believe she didn't throw in a flower.

She drove a hard bargain.

Are we gonna make it to school before lunch?

Yeah. I know a shortcut.

Yeah, hard right! BOOTS: Bruno!

Bruno, look out, there's a cliff!

We can make the turn!

What, no! We have to slow down!

If we slow down, we won't make it!

Stop right now-- Go!

BOOTS: He's Bruno, I'm Boots,

and this is what we look like

when we're in over our heads.

Do not try this at home.

No! No!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS] Education and awakening?

More like frustration and gardening.

You're just annoyed because we have to water

the wheatgrass patch again.

Um, yeah!

CATHY: And I'm sick of wheatgrass.

Do you remember the wheatgrass poutine from yesterday?

Sometimes I feel like the school needs some shaking up.

I agree that gardening can be annoying,

but the trick is to work smarter, not harder.

In the time it takes you to water one plant,

I can water...

An innocent bystander?

[♪♪♪]

[BOTH SIGH]

Pretty great, isn't it?

It's better than great.

It's home.

Hey, don't worry about all that other stuff.

I've already forgiven you.

[SCOFFS]

Yeah, isn't that the sort of thing

that I should be saying to you?

Uh, no?

Hey, but don't worry about it.

We all make mistakes.

Sorry, what mistake did I make, exactly?

Trying to stop us from plummeting to our deaths?

We could've made that curve!

You held back!

But it's okay. I believe in you, Boots.

One day, you're gonna throw caution to the wind

and start living. Okay, wait.

If you just spent one day and live like me,

which you couldn't,

you'd never go back.

Living like you would be so easy!

[SCOFFS] Okay.

I would just have to be

cautious, careful, and not actually do anything.

Oh, you wanna bet?

Yeah.

The loser washes the winner's gym socks.

For a month.

Hand washes, for the rest of the year.

Deal. [LAUGHS]

Man, I can't wait to tell everybody.

I can. I'm annoyingly patient.

[♪♪♪]

Where is everyone?

Hello?

Hello? Boys?

Boys!

Let's get changed.

Hello!

Hello?

Hello! Hello?

SNOW: Today, everything changes.

Today, Macdonald Hall meets tomorrow.

Tomorrow, the Macdonald Hall of today will be yesterday's news.

[WHISPERING] What's going on?

Sturgeon called a snap assembly.

Even he seemed surprised it was happening.

What?

SNOW: ...one of the top schools of the district last year.

We've decided to reward your hard work

with one of our experimental education programs.

That's a reward?

Yeah, because nothing spells fun

like experimental education programs.

Starting today, Mr. Sturgeon

will have a new assistant headmaster

who will take the reins of this new school initiative

and transform your lives with his innovative

approach to learning.

[STUDENTS MURMURING] Settle, boys, settle.

SNOW: Macdonald Hall, the man you're about to meet

is a pioneer, a visionary.

and a true giant of education.

Please give a warm welcome

to the future of learning,

Mr. Walter C. Wizzle!

[APPLAUSE]

[♪♪♪]

Welcome to the future, Macdonald Hall.

[SCREAMS]

I'm fine.

[STUDENTS LAUGHING]

Boys, boys, boys.

The chalkboard.

The late slip.

Multiple choice exams.

All breakthroughs

that revolutionized education in their day.

But the next step of learning technology

is gonna make all of those A plus ideas

look like F double minuses.

I'm talking about my new cutting-edge software,

Wizzleware.

You'll see the changes this afternoon.

Touch screens in every class, improved school uniforms,

and some exciting new approaches to discipline

I think you'll all agree are, um, really rad.

Um, groovy to the max?

Heh.

Twenty-three skidoo?

[STUDENT BURPS]

[STUDENTS WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Never mind. I'm going to invite

Superintendent Snow back up to the stage

to install the software.

Okay, just click on that.

Not that!

Click on that. Just click--

BRUNO: S-So wait,

Captain Computer is gonna

take over the Hall?

There's no way the Fish is gonna let that happen.

Well, it doesn't look like he's doing anything to stop it.

WIZZLE: Just click "agree."

It says "agree" and there's a box beside it.

Wizzleware is officially...

live! Heh-heh-heh!

Biscuits in the bath.

[POLITE APPLAUSE]

ELMER: So...when do we begin?

Begin what?

Surely you think Mr. Wizzle is an affront to our tradition

who'll only change our beloved school for the worst.

I can only assume you're already scheming

a host of pranks against him.

And shenanigans!

You bet I am.

Get ready, Wizzle, you're about to get brizzled.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Wizzle's brizzling is gonna have to wait.

What?

Bruno agreed to live by my rules

for one day.

What? No, but--

Unless...

you would like to admit defeat

one hour into a 24-hour challenge.

Ooh...

Sorry, guys.

No pranks, no shenanigans. Yeah, that's right.

I'm real boring now.

I've decided to sit back and take

a "wait and see" approach with this Wizzle guy.

Seems pretty harmless, right?

It'll be easy. [INTERCOM BEEPS]

WIZZLE [ON PA]: Attention, students.

Return to your dorm rooms to receive your new uniforms.

Failure to comply will result in disciplinary action.

Yep.

Super-duper easy.

[FEEDBACK]

Off now.

Not used to these...

primitive machines, heh.

Oh!

[SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT]

I'll use my own equipment in the future.

Wizzle.

These are good boys.

Not perfect by any means,

but they've got real heart.

A word of advice-- Oh, um.

No, thank you?

[SOFTWARE CHIMING]

[LAPTOP BEEPING]

Escape, Escape!

[SIGHS]

My whole life could use an escape button right about now.

[PHONE RINGS]

Sturgeon.

SCRIMMAGE: This is a disaster!

Oh, good morning, Eugenia.

Always a delight.

How can they do this to us?

It's not right.

Congratulations. Am I to assume

that Miss Snow has also chosen Scrimmage Academy

for one of her educational experiments?

You mean the hostile takeover of my school

and the very souls of my girls?

A learning institution is a sacred--

Oh, come now, Eugenia, you know as well as I do

that fads in education come and go.

They can be a little frustrating--

Frustrating?

I don't know what kind of

cushy program leader you got today,

but mine is a real drill sergeant.

Oh, come on, Eugenia.

This is no time to exaggerate any of this--

[FANFARE PLAYING]

Oh, I have to go.

By Mackenzie's beard,

that is a real drill sergeant.

Fall in! Right now, on the double.

Let's go!

Did you not hear me?

I told you to take the hopes and dreams

out of your ears and fall in.

Not tomorrow, not next week,

not midnight of the next solstice.

Fall in now!

Uh, excuse me, but what are we supposed to fall in to?

Maybe it's a trust exercise.

I'll go first.

Fall in means to take your positions in an orderly fashion,

standing at attention and awaiting further orders.

Um, Miss Scrimmage doesn't give us orders.

She only gives thoughtful suggestions.

Do I look like Miss Scrimmage to you?

Uh, no, but I do,

because I'm her.

Hello, girls. I see that you've met

our new assistant headmistress, Miss Peabody.

Let's all give her a very warm

Scrimmage Academy welcome.

[ALL HUMMING]

Superintendent Snow sent us Miss Peabody

to share her unique approach to educating young women.

Army, Navy, Air Force--

by the time I'm through with you,

you can join one of these outfits for your vacation.

SCRIMMAGE: What I think Miss Peabody means is that you have

several career options to choose from,

so choose wisely.

Now straighten those lines before I give you

so many push-ups that your arms fall off

and you bleed out from your shoulders!

What I think Miss Peabody is saying,

is that she completely respects you,

and she is using vivid imagery

to motivate you.

[♪♪♪]

I look at all of you,

and you know what I see?

I see Chihuahuas!

Pomeranians!

Lapdogs.

That's all about to change.

I'm kicking you out of the lap and into the real world.

Oh, I think what Miss Peabody is saying

is that if you work very hard,

it will pay off?

And when I'm done with you,

you're not gonna be lapdogs anymore.

You're gonna be German Shepherds! St. Bernard's!

Rottweiler's!

Work dogs.

Can I be a Labradoodle?

No!

And as work dogs,

you'll finally be of use to society and yourself.

Am I understood?

ALL: Yes, ma'am!

Good. All right, lapdogs,

obedience school begins with a five-mile run!

Move out! Hut two, hut two...

I don't know about this.

I know this much:

it won't be boring.

SCRIMMAGE: Keep in mind, girls,

you can choose to be cats.

Isn't there some kind of a warm-up necessary for this?

[♪♪♪]

Maroon jumpsuits.

Who's actually gonna wear these?

Check it out, guys.

Woo! Durable, breathable,

and spaghetti sauce hardly shows.

I stand corrected.

Either way, I don't think we have a choice.

What? Okay, no, no, there's no way

we have to wear these. [INTERCOM BEEPS]

WIZZLE [ON PA]: Remember, students, your new uniforms are mandatory.

Okay, this can only last a couple days.

For the rest of the school year.

This can't be happening.

And yes, students, this is happening.

Welcome to Macdonald Hall Prison for Boys.

Yeah, visiting hours never till never.

Hey...

Hm... some kind of bracelet.

Whoa!

I can't get it off now.

Yeah, I don't think anybody else can, either.

WIZZLE [ON PA]: Your new uniforms are designed

to reduce distractions and aid learning.

Finally, no buttons, ties, or decisions.

Just a sack of cloth for the body.

You're welcome.

Wizzleware believes that distractions

are the enemy of learning.

They're all around us, deciding what to wear,

what to do, and even what to eat.

That's why I invented WizzleFuel,

the liquid breakfast and lunch replacement

that turns dining into refueling.

Now available in delicious gray.

[COUGHS]

What used to take an hour is now over within minutes.

But, again, you're welcome.

Finally, modern hardware.

It's like the Christmas morning

nobody asked for and only I wanted.

Ugh! Man, this thing's on here

like Wilbur on a Western sandwich.

Gotta have a backup plan.

Mmm!

Your Wizzleband is designed to be worn 24/7.

It's waterproof and tamperproof.

Removing the Wizzleband at any time

is neither permitted nor possible.

Wait, can he see us?

I can see every classroom in the school.

Students receive instant feedback on their behavior,

both positive and negative.

For example: assess behavior.

WIZZLEWARE: Bruno Walton and Boots O'Neil:

attempted removal of Wizzleband.

Five demerits.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

Wha-- Okay, that's creepy.

Wilbur Hackenschleimer:

food distraction. Two demerits.

Worth it!

Elmer Drimsdale:

toy distraction. Three demerits.

Chemistry is not a toy!

Chris Talbot: vandalism.

Ten demerits.

This is so ridiculous--

I, uh, I mean, uh...

Respectfully,

how is it any different than George

patrolling the halls, giving out demerits?

George's demerits don't actually count for anything.

Sturgeon was just humoring him.

I've been such a fool!

Five demerits, George.

Five.

[♪♪♪]

[PANTING]

How far did she make us run?

Twice around the world? Three times?

I lost track somewhere in Europe.

SCRIMMAGE: This is Eugenia Scrimmage calling

for the fifth time today.

I know Superintendent Snow is very busy,

but this Peabody person is simply

not a good fit for my girls.

Sugar!

Sounds like Scrimmage is getting angry.

But Miss Scrimmage never gets angry.

She just said "sugar".

When Scrimmage lists the names of the foods

that she considers unhealthy,

that's her way of swearing.

Don't put me on hold. Oh, bacon bits!

Candy corn.

Pork rinds!

Traditional classroom lectures are now a thing of the past.

Instead of learning facts and skills,

Wizzleware lessons stimulate certain parts of the brain.

Let's begin.

This exercise is called "Get the ball."

The object is to get the ball.

See how many times you can get the ball.

So what's the point?

Questions don't get the ball.

Getting the ball gets the ball.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

This is weird, but this is the best I've ever done in math.

Yeah, this is English.

Even better!

But soft,

what light through yonder doorway breaks?

Lo, 'tis Headmaster Sturgeon,

here to do his annual recitation.

WIZZLEWARE: Distraction detected. Distraction detected.

Distraction detected.

What on earth is going on in here?

English class, sir.

English...?

So where's Mr. Vickers?

ELMER: With the other teachers,

playing poker in the teachers' lounge.

You have got to be kidding me.

Mr. Sturgeon, is there a reason for this disruption?

Actually, yes, there is.

There's a tradition here at Macdonald Hall

going back about a hundred years,

where the headmaster kicks off the new term

by visiting an English class and delivering

a good old-fashioned Shakespearean monologue.

I used to be considered quite the scene stealer

back in my drama club days.

Ahem, here we go.

Alas, poor Yorick!

I knew him, Horatio,

a fellow of infinite jest--

WIZZLEWARE: Distraction detected. Distraction detected.

Mr. Sturgeon, I will have to ask you to stop this intrusion.

I'm hardly the intruder here, Mr. Wizzle.

Surely there's room for the Bard in Wizzleware.

Actually, Wizzleware has condensed

all of the work of Shakespeare

into easily understandable directives.

Wizzleware, what is the point of Hamlet?

WIZZLEWARE: Don't marry your brother's wife,

and avoid morose introspection.

Oh, that is absurd.

Surely you can't condense

a play like Romeo and Juliet into a sentence.

WIZZLEWARE: Romeo and Juliet: always check your messages.

Okay, that's fair.

WIZZLE: Wizzleware eliminates the need

for any outdated teaching practices.

The old ways, like the dinosaurs,

had their day,

and that day is done.

Gather up your gym socks, Boots, I've got laundry to do.

What?

I'm out. I'm done.

The bet is off. But I don't care,

because nobody calls my headmaster a dinosaur.

Okay, thank you, Bruno. That's enough.

Identify and assess.

WIZZLEWARE: Bruno Walton: talking distraction.

Five demerits.

Please be seated, Mr. Walton.

Class, resume your lesson.

Bruno, sit down.

A-and if he was a dinosaur,

he'd be a killer T. rex, and then maybe you'd show him

the respect he deserves.

Thank you, Bruno. Sit down.

Reassess.

WIZZLEWARE: Insubordination.

Ten demerits.

All right, look, that's enough out of both of you.

I'm gonna be going now.

But you know, Mr. Wizzle,

I fail to see how all this screen tapping

could possibly instill a lifelong love of language.

It doesn't,

which is precisely why it's so much more efficient.

Goodbye, Mr. Sturgeon.

You should be careful with your demerits.

The Wizzlebands only display double digits

for a reason.

[SIGHS]

You're the one who needs to be careful, Wizzle,

because this means war.

I hereby call this meeting of

the Anti-Wizzle Committee to order.

All in favor of getting rid of Wizzle

and his high-tech, low-fun ways,

solemnly raise your right hand and say:

"Heck yeah."

ALL: Heck yeah!

All right, fellas, you know the drill.

Bad ideas get the gong.

A subwoofer produces low bass notes.

I invented the uber-sub-subwoofer,

which produces notes so low, they're technically earthquakes.

All we have to do is get this into Wizzle's guest cottage--

We make him drink his own WizzleFuel.

That'll teach him.

I think Wizzle

likes WizzleFuel. Yeah.

He what?

So we send him a job offer from a school in Siberia--

So you want us to put on Wizzle masks,

split up, commit various crimes and bank robberies,

tip off the police, send Wizzle to jail,

and then spend the reward money on a pizza party?

I like the part about a pizza party.

Now, I am not here to pitch wild ideas.

I'm here to make sure that you don't do things

the Bruno way, to the point where things get out of hand.

If you're so against wild ideas,

let's hear a mild one.

[SIGHS]

All right, well...

I know it's "safe," but...

I mean, what if we just talk to the other boys?

If we get everyone to complain,

and Superintendent Snow gets enough calls from parents,

maybe she'll do something.

Everyone's scared of getting demerits.

They don't wanna rock the boat.

BOOTS: We could start in secret,

get everyone together and then--

Rallies, and protests, demonstrations--

It's a big school. How are we gonna tell everyone?

BRUNO: I don't know, a super-secret website.

But Wizzle's taken over every computer on campus.

So? You can hack anything.

I can't hack his code!

He's a genius!

A boring, pedantic genius!

So much for a high-tech solution.

"If we can't go high tech, let's go old-school."

[♪♪♪]

Whatever it is, it's old.

And busted.

The Macdonald Hall Examiner.

Weird!

It's like a paper version of the school website.

[LAUGHS] No.

Back in the old days,

Macdonald Hall must have actually had a school newspaper.

That's it!

Yes, Chris!

W-We fight Wizzleware the old-school way...

with an underground newspaper.

Dude!

We need to do two things:

get this machine printing again,

and we also have to figure out what to print.

[MACHINE RUMBLES] [ALL YELLING]

Whaddaya got, kid?

"17 Reasons Wizzleware is Just the Worst."

Make it 27 reasons and you got yourself a story.

BOOTS: Next.

BRUNO: Hm! Political cartoon, huh?

Why is there a rattlesnake

in the middle of a sinking canoe?

BRUNO: "The snake represents Wizzleware."

BOTH: Oh!

We need articles, cartoons, editorials, infographics,

all with one message:

"Wizzle must go."

[♪♪♪]

[GIGGLING]

Watch this. Fascinating.

[SQUELCHING] [BOYS GASPING]

[BOYS LAUGHING]

Look at that!

Uh!

No way!

Yeah-ha-ha!

Ugh, where are they?

They'll be here, I promise.

Hey, look. Told you.

Hey, Diane.

Hi, Boots.

CATHY: Here you go, all the papers

we found at Scrimmage's, but it's a loan,

not a gift. And it's probably better

if we don't know what it's for.

You know what? Keep the wagons. We're done here.

Whoa, wait! Where are you guys going?

No time for a chat?

We're too tired for all of that.

Our new assistant headmistress

has some interesting ideas about teaching.

It's nothing but push-ups,

and sit-ups, and running, and yelling.

She made us put rocks in our backpacks

and climb trees for an hour.

Yeah, well, at least it was a break

from her dog metaphors.

It's like a nightmare and a CrossFit class

had a baby, and that baby is our lives right now.

We have to help them.

Yeah.

Um, we could do a joint newspaper.

Or...they could try the Siberian job offer gambit.

It's worth a shot. Yeah.

BRUNO: It sounds to me like you girls

are no match for this Peabody character.

Push-ups and sit-ups and running and yelling--

There's no way you girls can handle that.

[SCOFFS]

We can handle whatever we want to handle.

DIANE: Uh, we can?

Okay, you think a little exercise is too much for us?

We can handle whatever Peabody dishes out at us.

You'll see.

Come on, Diane.

Why are you running when no one is making you?

You wanna trade sidekicks?

Hmm... Nah.

Mine washes my socks for me.

I'm sorry, who is the sidekick?

DIANE: I saw Miss Scrimmage on the phone

with the superintendent's office again.

Maybe she'll get rid of Peabody soon.

Don't count on it.

Besides, if we get rid of her,

we don't get to prove that we can handle her.

[FANFARE PLAYS]

All right, lapdogs,

on all fours.

Fifty push-ups for speed. Go!

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

Done.

PEABODY: Nice work, Burton.

One hundred burpees for speed, go!

Done!

Burton wins again.

Two hundred jumping jacks for speed, go!

Done!

Help me.

[PANTING]

Diane Grant.

Is there a reason for your distinct lack of enthusiasm?

I'm just tired, and...

And what?

And I think all this exercise

is a big waste of time.

I'd rather just learn something.

Oh, really?

Diane wants to learn.

Well, in addition to your regular exercises,

we're going to learn something.

Marching in formation, military style!

Let's go! One, two! One, two! One, two!

[ALL GROANING] One, two!

GIRL: Thanks, Diane. PEABODY: I don't know, Grant.

They don't seem as excited about learning as you.

Well, I'm up for it.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPS]

♪ We don't have enough ♪

♪ So let's call it a war... ♪

Good morning!

It has come to my attention

that some of you are finding

the red ball exercise repetitive,

so this morning, you are all getting a yellow ball.

WIZZLEWARE: Absent student detected: Bruno Walton.

Five demerits.

[SIGHS] Bruno.

Bruno, do you know what will happen

if your Wizzle demerits go past double digits?

What are you even doing in here?

Saving our school, one issue at a time.

Dude, look at these beauties.

I'd give 'em a kiss, but the ink would smudge.

You're racking up Wizzle demerits.

This paper isn't even ready yet!

It's good enough.

This has a typo in the headline!

"Wizzle must go-o!"

I don't know, it still works.

Half the articles are only half-written,

Chris still owes us the last panel

of his anti-Wizzle comic strip,

and I found three swear words

accidentally hidden in the word search.

Really? I only found two.

Okay, but we can't stop now.

We have to strike Wizzle fast,

like a boa constrictor.

Boas don't strike, they squeeze slowly.

You're against me, and so are the reptiles.

Can you just take a step back

and think this through?

Can't you just take a step up and help?

Just because you're doing something

doesn't automatically mean that you're helping.

Actually, I've helped a ton.

I've already printed off 500 copies.

Now we just need to get them

to the boys in all three dorms

without Wizzle or Sturgeon seeing a single copy.

If you've printed 500 copies, where are they?

By the door, to dry. Really?

Yeah.

U-Uh...

[GROANS]

"Mr. Wizzle is a tie rant."

Misspelled.

"And like any tye rent,"

misspelled differently,

"we must stand up to his tie ranny."

Misspelled two different ways at once.

It's the last one that hurts the most.

If we could leave the spelling and grammar issues

aside for now. STURGEON: Of course.

First of all, I'd like to discuss

the idea of hospitality,

and how we must welcome any guest to this--

Oh no, no, a conversation will not be necessary.

Wizzleware's discipline systems

are far more advanced than those outdated methods.

Wizzleware, assess behavior.

WIZZLEWARE: Bruno Walton and Melvin O'Neil:

multiple infractions.

Twenty demerits, [ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

plus two hundred LINUSS. LINUSS?

My research shows that writing certain commands

can positively reprogram the brain.

The boys will be assigned to write

"I will not break the Wizzleware rules"

two hundred times.

On touch screens, of course.

You're making them write lines?

A punishment so old-fashioned

it was considered hopelessly out of date

when I was a schoolboy?

Oh, no, no, no, not lines-- LINUSS.

It stands for Linear Uploading Synaptic Saturation.

Ahem, boys, will you excuse us for a few moments?

I need to discuss with Mr. Wizzle

how to end this little experiment immediately.

Uh, yeah. Okay

Oh, I hate to be the one to break it to you, Mr. Sturgeon,

but you don't have the authority to modify

or cancel the program in any way.

Uh, but I'm headmaster of this school.

Yes, but like any software,

Wizzleware comes with an end user license agreement,

which Superintendent Snow agreed to

when she installed the software at the assembly.

According to the agreement, the sysadmin-- That's me.

--has final authority on all matters regarding

the software, including discipline,

for the life of the contract,

which is stated right there.

Thirty-six months?

Thirty-six divided by-- Three years?

Unless the sysadmin decides to end the service early,

which he doesn't, because we're just getting started.

Well.

I hope that clears things up.

Have a good day, heh.

BOOTS: So what happens now?

Boys, I am going to do

what generations of Sturgeons have done in times of crisis.

Oh! You're gonna fight him?

What? No, no, no.

I'm gonna roll up my sleeves and look for loopholes.

Ms. Davis, bring me a hard copy

of the Wizzleware agreement right away.

[♪♪♪]

CATHY: Right face!

Diane. Uh...

Forward, march!

Diane!

To the rear, march!

To the rear, march!

Oh, sorry--

Take five, girls.

Come on. Diane,

we have to show Peabody and everyone else

that we can handle whatever she gives us.

Or, we could not.

And?

I feel pretty good about leaving it at that, heh.

Okay, we really need to work on our column right.

If we don't nail it-- All right.

We can show the guys who's right.

This is me putting my best foot forward.

Your other best foot.

Darn it!

[SIGHS]

Back in formation, ladies!

STURGEON: Well, thank you very much, Jane, for agreeing

to meet Ms. Scrimmage and myself.

As you know, we're very concerned about--

If this is about stopping your special programs early,

the answer is no.

But you haven't even heard us out.

I don't need to. I've got spreadsheets.

Macdonald Hall's preliminary grades are up 13 percent.

Well, they're just mindlessly tapping screens.

Who cares what grades they get at that?

And Scrimmage's instances of misbehavior

have dropped by a similar margin.

Well, they're too tired to misbehave.

That's not an improvement.

Your words, Wizzle's numbers.

I know which ones I trust.

Ta-ta.

Well, that went well.

I could punch a duck!

Eugenia,

I've never heard you so angry.

I know. I'm not myself.

The girls can't see me like this.

I have to go to my meditation yurt immediately,

and I'm not coming out until I'm myself again.

[INHALES LOUDLY]

Breathe, Genie, breathe!

Oh, I hate it, uh!

Can't punch a duck anyway.

Well, the paper was a bust,

but we did get Sturgeon's attention.

He's looking for loopholes in the contracts.

And luckily, we've already found one.

What? It's simple.

The only person that can end

the Wizzle contract early is Wizzle.

So we just have to make him want to leave the Hall early.

"What if there was a kid

"who wasn't in the Wizzle system,

"a kid we make up?

That would seriously drive Wizzle up the wall."

That is the most ridiculous plan I've ever heard.

Hey, what if we scare him away

with Elmer's new earthquake machine?

Wait, that one is.

Yeah, separately they're both ridiculous,

Okay, but what if we do them both?

Then we would be doing two ridiculous plans

instead of one, which is worse, not better.

Worse for Wizzle. Better for us.

Debatable.

Boys, Wizzle War is back on.

Behold, the uber-sub-subwoofer.

All we have to do is get this into the basement

of Wizzle's guest cottage

and he'll be plagued by terrifying earthquakes

no one else on campus will feel.

But first, let's test it.

I've set the volume to eight out of 10.

[AUDIO FEEDBACK]

Okay, ready?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Test.

[FEEDBACK] [RUMBLING]

Maybe three out of 10 would suffice.

Yeah, yeah, three.

Yeah, definitely three.

BOOTS: How are we even gonna get this

into Wizzle's guest cottage?

Oh, that part's easy.

We'll let Wally handle that.

Wait, Wally?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hey, there! I'm Wally,

here to read your water meter down in your basement there.

Oh.

Okay. Oh, boy!

Scooch over there, string bean.

Big load coming through.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Hoo, nice work, Wally.

[DRILL WHIRS]

[WHIRRING]

[GIGGLING] [DOG BARKING]

Why can't students be more like dogs?

Or computers.

[SIGHS]

The receiver on the uber-sub in the cottage

seems to be working.

Shall we make some noise?

Noise is my middle name.

Yep. All right, ahem.

I call this tune "No Sleep for Mr. Wizzle."

And...we're live.

Wow! [PLAYS RIFF, LAUGHING]

[RUMBLING]

[SCREAMING] Earthquake! Help!

[CRICKETS CHIRPING] [OWL HOOTS]

Didn't anyone else feel that?

Hello?

The uber-sub is working.

He's tired, off-balance, vulnerable.

I think it's time Mr. Wizzle was introduced

to Macdonald Hall's mystery kid.

Heh.

[SIGHS]

[MELLOW TUNE PLAYING]

[GIGGLES]

Little cuties. Get that finger!

You hungry for--

WIZZLEWARE: Off task. Off task.

Just one more second.

[LAUGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Mr. Wizzle,

Gordon won't be able to make it to class today.

He had a skateboarding accident and twisted his ankle.

Thank you.

Uh, Gordon who?

Gunhold.

G. Gordon Gunhold.

Okay, bye now, heh. Homework.

Mark absent G. Gordon Gunhold.

WIZZLEWARE: Student not found.

Mark absent,

G. Gordon Gunhold.

WIZZLEWARE: Student not found.

[♪♪♪]

BRUNO: Hey, did you guys sign that card for Gordon yet?

Skateboarding accident.

Dude is totally crazy.

Like, who skates at night, right?

I don't get it. Totally crazy.

[LAUGHS]

Thanks, guys.

WIZZLEWARE: Student not found.

Gunhold.

Student not found.

Gunhold-d-d.

Student not found.

Gunhold.

Student not found. Gunhold?

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING] Gunhold. Gunhold!

Student. Not. Found.

Earthquake! Help!

[WHIMPERS]

♪ Cheap thrills Cheap thrills ♪

♪ Sets a trap To the things that we do ♪

"G. Gordon Gunhold for student coun--"

WIZZLEWARE: Student not found.

That's impossible!

ELMER: Earthquake scientists have long theorized

about the Great Lakes- Saint Lawrence fault line.

According to Dr. Schultzenhop of Mungingham College,

it could be right in our own backyard.

Backyard?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Mr. Wizzle, Gordon wanted me to see

if you had any homework for him.

[GRUNTS]

I can see now's a bad time.

My bad.

♪ Have wild needs ♪

Mr. Wizzle, I can't move you to a hotel

over some earthquake that nobody else has even noticed.

And I sure as sugar can't check my records

for this Gordie Gumface kid

when all my computer shows me are Wizzlewarts.

Forget about the earthquakes.

I take pride in Wizzleware's perfect record system.

If something isn't in my records,

it doesn't exist.

This boy doesn't show up in my databases,

but his name is on posters!

Boys in the hall talk about how fun he is

and how nice he is to the new kids

and about the time he landed

that 360 ollie heel flip on the first try.

I found his name

in an old yearbook in the library,

but there's no photo!

Look!

Mr. Wizzle,

have you been getting enough sleep?

Who can sleep with all these earthquakes?

Forget it!

Oh boy. The hamster in that poor man's head

has flipped right out of its wheel.

[PHONE RINGS]

Dr. Schultzenhop speaking.

Hello, Doctor.

It's Walter Wizzle, calling with questions

about the Great Lakes- Saint Lawrence fault line?

ELMER [AS DOCTOR]: Ah, yes.

Tiny but deadly earthquakes,

easily deadly,

but we have no idea where it is.

I know!

It runs through my house,

practically under my bed!

Fascinating!

I could get to there...

In, um, 36 months.

Three years?

[MUFFLED LAUGHTER]

Science must not be rushed, you see.

Science is like a fine cheese.

[GROANS]

You ready, E-Rock?

Affirmative.

[♪♪♪]

WIZZLE: Earthquake, earthquake!

Earthquake! Earth--

♪ Cheap thrills Yeah, we chill ♪

♪ Yeah, we chill ♪

[SNORING] [ROOSTER CROWS]

Good morning, sir! [GASPS]

A little stargazing last night?

What time is it?

PEABODY: Wake up, we're not in bed anymore!

What on earth is that?

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

BRUNO: Oh, uh, Scrimmage Academy

has a new guest headmaster too, Miss Peabody.

Oh, and it is 8:45.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

[YELLS] 8:45?

Oh, sir, do you have time to sign this card for Gordon?

Not again!

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

[HUMMING]

ANGRY SCRIMMAGE: What on earth do you think you're doing?

I had a feeling that baba ganoush

was a little bit dodgy.

Oh, you're having an inner crisis,

but it's not the intestinal kind.

What are you doing here?

I am here for you.

Peabody is out there, making your girls miserable,

and you're in here hiding.

I'm not hiding. Yes, you are!

You're hiding!

From me, angry Scrimmage!

I let go of my anger years ago.

I am Zen,

with a hint of lavender

and a little bit of eucalyptus.

Is that what that smell is?

Woo! And what is with the bedazzling?

Not a good look.

Wow, you are not just angry,

you are downright sarcastic.

Oh, very perceptive!

Okay, stop that. I am here to show you

that there are some things worth getting angry over!

I have no interest in having that conversation.

I'm not here for a conversation!

I'm here to fight!

[GASPS] Ha, ha, ha!

Ow, uh, get out of my head!

[GRUNTING]

Okay, this is it.

We need to show Peabody this marching thing is a snap.

Who are we even trying to impress?

Bruno's not here,

Miss Peabody is unimpressible--

What's the point?

The point is...

just do your best.

And don't fall behind or make any mistakes.

[WHISPERS] Here comes Peabody,

Get to your spot, you can do it, come on--

Attention!

It's time for you lapdogs to march.

But before we begin, I have two words of advice.

Impress me.

[♪♪♪]

Company, fall in!

And...march!

Right face!

Forward, march!

To the rear, march!

To the rear, march!

Here comes the big one.

This should be good.

Column, right!

Oh, no!

I'm sorry.

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

Well, I had high hopes for you girls,

but looks like one of the poodles

let the other pooches down.

I'm sorry, guys.

I didn't order you to speak.

But I do order you to run

around the whole campus,

once...

for every girl that you let down.

Well, why are you still standing there?

Oh, zip it.

Pardon me?

Stop picking on Diane.

She worked harder than anyone else here.

Well, let's get running.

Where do you think you're going?

Well, you're all about teamwork, right?

Well, me and Diane...

We're a team.

Well--

When you get back, it's straight to the brig!

This school doesn't have a brig, does it?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Wow! You guys...

A plus. Sounds great.

One question.

Why are there so many of you?

It's totally unnecessary.

It's necessary for maximum fun.

Besides, if we don't take this band seriously,

we'll never make it. BRUNO: Exactly.

Five, six, seven, eight.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, Elmer.

This, uh, red light--

Isn't that supposed to be green?

ELMER: The uber-sub isn't picking up the signal.

No signal, no earthquakes.

BRUNO: But Wizzle's ready to quit any day now.

We have to fix it.

That would mean getting back

into Wizzle's basement.

BOOTS: And there's no way he'd fall

for that Wally trick a second time.

What if I didn't have to trick my way in?

Right? What if we found a way

to trick Wizzle into rushing out?

You mean, like, a distraction?

I mean the ultimate distraction.

I think it's time Mr. Wizzle

finally meets you... Gordon.

Uh, no. Yes.

No! Yes!

♪ A bad kid's moving ♪

♪ Into my neighborhood ♪

♪ Oh, now he's moving Into my neighborhood ♪

BRUNO: Nice moves. Good luck, buddy.

BOOTS [ON PHONE]: I can't believe you talked me into this.

Gunhold?

The albatross has left the lighthouse.

BOTH: What?

That's my code for:

"Wizzle has left the cottage".

You can't just improvise code words!

They have to be determined in advance!

Gunhold?

Gunhold! You're real!

You're really real!

BOOTS: Call me Gordon.

You're coming with me to the office

so I can put you in the database because you're real!

You're real!

You can't do that, stop.

Stop-- Why aren't you stopping?

Okay, Elmer, I've got it,

and there's a red light flashing on the side.

Oh, dear. Um, this repair

might take a little longer than expected.

What?

WIZZLE: Wait, why aren't you stopping?

'Cause I'm Gordon G. Gunhold, baby, and this is how I do!

Cowabunga to the extreme! Maxin' out--

Bruno, I'm running out of bro speak. Are you out yet?

Definitely not.

We need more time!

Bruno, have you found the relay wire yet?

Definitely not.

Wizzleware classifies skateboarding

as a level two distraction.

All right, boys, looks like all those years at soccer camp

are about to come in handy.

Ah! Oh, Mommy!

Mommy, please!

Oh, this doesn't feel good at all!

Just breathe, try to breathe.

Oh geez, wow!

Is that a bone?

Oh man, somebody call an ambulance!

[FAINT BEEPING]

Wait... Elmer, Elmer, yeah, I found the wire!

Great! Now plug it into the auxiliary board

and get out of there!

[FEEDBACK]

Uh, that sounds bad.

[CYMBALS CRASH] [YELLS]

[RUMBLING]

What's happening?

[GRUNTS]

Oh, that's not good.

You feel it too? I was right!

We're all gonna die in an earthquake.

We're all gonna die in an earthquake!

ELMER: The seismic pressure is intensifying.

Something's gonna blow!

Bruno, get out of there now!

BOOTS: W-whoa.

Bruno, hurry up!

You're not Gordon Gunhold,

you're Bruno Walton's sidekick, Socks!

It's Boots! And he's the sidekick!

[YELLS]

What the doodle is going on here?

Elmer, do something!

Precisely my intention!

Ugh.

Come on!

[CRUMBLING]

[GLASS SHATTERS] [YELLS]

Heads up.

We're sorry for almost killing you.

Heh. Sounds extra bad out loud, huh?

Let's talk about this from the beginning, shall we?

Uh, that won't actually be necessary.

Assess and discipline.

WIZZLEWARE: Students identified:

Bruno Walton, Melvin O'Neil.

Sixty demerits.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPS]

Well, that about does it, I guess.

Sir, this was all an accident.

We may have been dumb,

and we may have acted irresponsibly, but we--

What's wrong, Walton?

Wizzle warned us

the bands only have double-digits for a reason.

I-In other words,

a hundred demerits means you're expelled.

I'm kind of afraid to look.

It's okay. Just show us.

Oh.

You're close,

but you're gonna be okay.

But you better be on your best behavior

till I sort out this contract. Got it?

I'll make sure he is.

[GRUNTS]

That was close. Too close.

Tell me about it. I think a solid bronze head

just missed my head.

Dude, no slip and slide?

It's not worth it.

Sliding down...

Yeah, I guess it's best to play it safe.

Dude, I need to play it safer than safe,

cause if I get one more demerit...

I don't want to think about it.

[BOTH SIGH]

CATHY: Come on, Diane, Come on!

You can do it. [DIANE WHEEZING]

We're almost there.

Come on!

We did it. Together. [BOTH PANTING]

We showed them.

Walton, Peabody, everyone who ever doubted us.

You...

are a special kind of stubborn, Cathy Burton.

Are we really done,

or is this what a jogging coma feels like--

[BOTH YELL]

A water balloon?

With a note inside?

It's from Peabody.

"Lapdogs, your next assignment

"will be a water balloon war.

"There will be two teams.

"The red team will consist of Cathy and Diane,

"and the blue team will be Miss Peabody

"and her hand-picked platoon of Scrimmage girls.

"The winning team gets to sleep in

"and miss next week's calisthenics class.

"The losing team gets two extra months

"of combat training and practice.

All summer."

I can't lose my summer.

I've got engineering camp!

And I've got...

summer!

Well, then...

I guess we have to win this.

More balloons.

If we stand any chance against Peabody,

we need all the ammo we can get.

The wetter, the better.

What's the point?

It's you and me alone against the whole school.

We may as well be up against the whole world.

You're right,

except for one itty-bitty detail:

You're not alone. Miss Scrimmage?

SCRIMMAGE: Yes, girls, I'm back and I'm here to help.

You're gonna help us? I'm no warrior,

but I finally realized I know a thing or two

about putting up a fight in other ways.

That's exactly what we needed, a secret weapon.

Oh, I'm not our secret weapon.

Diane is. Grab a wrench, dear.

It's time to do what you do best.

Bruno won't be joining us on this mission.

In fact, he can't even know it's happening.

So Bruno's 99, it's true?

Yep, and that's why we have to hit Wizzle at the source.

His audio dongle! [SCOFFS]

I meant the thing in his ear.

But you said "audio," heh, heh.

BOOTS: Wizzle's earpiece is just a gizmo.

We need to find and erase the source of all of our misery,

especially Bruno's.

The demerits. [MARKER SQUEAKING]

WILBUR: "How would that help?"

Yeah, who cares if the demerits are erased?

If Wizzle-- We're talking about Wizzle.

He doesn't have to remember anything,

Wizzleware remembers it for him.

If there's no evidence of a demerit,

it doesn't exist.

What if this plan doesn't work?

It has to.

We could really use Bruno's help on this.

Hey. We don't need him.

I'm the Bruno now.

Heh.

[SIGHS]

Ugh! Man, is it just me,

or does the WizzleFuel have a little more

of a plastic-y aftertaste today?

I can't complain.

Can't risk the possible demerits.

[BOTH SIGH]

Wait, where are the guys?

That's a really nice blouse, Ms. Davis.

Where did you get it?

Paris? New York?

The future?

What do you want?

I'm here to apply for the out-of-province student bursary.

I'm pretty sure they're in the file cabinet in the back.

Way back.

You know,

I've been at this job for quite some time, Wilbur.

Long enough to know when I'm being tricked

into going into the back so some twerp

can sneak something from up here.

Hypothetically.

Um, well, you see--

Now if, hypothetically,

you and your pals were up to something,

would that something have anything to do with getting rid

of this Wizzle stinker?

Well, if we were, we would need to borrow

a copy of the school blueprints,

including electrical schematics.

Hypothetically.

This is it.

After snooping through Wizzle's file directory

and following the cables that came out of his office,

we found where he stores the demerits,

and it's not good.

Let me guess,

saved in some hard drive

in the middle of a tech warehouse in Idaho.

Worse.

George Wexford-Smyth III's room.

Isn't his room more like an office?

Yeah, an office that doubles as a vault.

I had one idea, but...

maybe we should take the night and think it over.

Okay.

No.

That's not what Bruno would do.

We're gonna do the first plan

that popped into my head,

because that is what Bruno would do.

Chris, we're gonna need your art supplies.

We'll need suits. Business suits.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

Ladies, our battle is about to begin.

If there's one thing I do not want to see

on the battlefield today,

it's mercy.

Because today,

you're no longer lapdogs.

In fact, I pity the lap

that tries to get in your way.

You're my team, my army,

and we are the Doberwomen.

[BARKS]

[ALL BARKING] First wave,

grab your weapons. Prepare to march.

[FANFARE PLAYS] [GIRLS YELLING]

Incoming!

I-I'm not ready yet!

No, please, please, please--

Hello, enemy combatants.

Despite our differences, we welcome you with open arms.

Should you choose to join our cause,

please proceed to the deserters' welcome station,

where you will be greeted with a warm smile,

aromatherapy, and a shiatsu massage.

And no one will yell at you, ever.

[SQUEALING]

♪ We only do it for the fame ♪

♪ We only do it for the fame ♪

♪ I can't tell the difference ♪

Boots O'Neil and associates,

here to see George Wexford-Smyth III.

GEORGE [OVER INTERCOM]: Mr. O'Neil, welcome.

♪ We only do it for the fame ♪

Is it just me,

or is this place bigger on the inside?

Must be an optical illusion.

Welcome back, old bean.

It's been far too long.

You're still outsourcing your hugs, I see.

Well, it was Mummy's idea.

Welcome to Wexfunds, old shirts.

You see, when I told Daddy

that I wanted to open up a branch of his company

right here in Macdonald Hall, why, he laughed so hard

that caviar came out of his nose.

He wasn't even eating caviar at the time.

Oh, well.

Off we go!

Nasty.

Come on, let's go.

So now I'm one of Father's biggest profit centers,

offering not only investments,

but a wide suite of management services,

including, but not limited to,

privacy management, legal consultation,

and cloud data storage.

Data storage, really?

Yes, old calculator.

Gobs of money in data storage these days.

Now, we have a business proposition for you.

A start-up?

I'm intrigued.

Prepare yourself for the next big thing in home décor:

giant food art.

Sorry, old charcoal barbecue,

did you just say, "giant food art"?

You know, I think that a picture

is worth a thousand words.

Why don't we show him what we've got?

[GRUNTS]

This is just a picture of a hamburger.

Why would anyone want this?

B-But it's not

just a picture of a hamburger.

It's a giant picture of a hamburger.

Look at the detail.

Let's start from the top, shall we?

Sesame seeds. Mmm!

At this size, you can really enjoy them.

You can see their beautiful glistening texture.

The lettuce is in there, just encased around the burger,

really just keeping all that flavor in there...

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING] [WILBUR TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[WHISPERING] Try it now.

WILBUR: Oh, I think I know what's coming.

It's some red onion! Red onion is coming in there--

Go.

Take this, I'll stand guard.

WILBUR: Look at the detail,

the red onions comes and invigorates your taste buds.

You really want some more burger.

Oof! Mmm!

[♪♪♪]

All right, Elmer,

where does Wizzle store his demerits?

ELMER: According to George's records,

Rack eight, drive...

[SIGHS]

"The Third".

Puppy videos, puppy videos, puppy videos...

Wow, he really likes puppy videos--

Wizzleware, Okay!

Ugh.

ELMER: Set it to diagnostic mode.

[SOFTWARE BEEPING]

Okay, okay, I got it. What's next? Hurry!

Now you have to input

a 77-digit alphanumeric code, and yes,

it is case sensitive.

Let's see here.

ELMER: Capital J, one...

Wait, is that capital J, lowercase L?

Could be an uppercase I.

[RUMBLING] [THUD]

[GROANS]

Bruno! Boots!

BOTH: What are you doing here?

I'm erasing Wizzle's demerits.

So am I!

I had to take over for you,

so I am leading the mission.

Dude, good job taking over,

because you're doing exactly what I'm doing here,

but I was just gonna use a hammer.

[ALARM BLARING]

Who are you?

WIZZLEWARE: Students identified:

Bruno Walton. Melvin O'Neil.

I'm at a total loss here.

What do I need to do to get through to you boys?

Maybe I need to completely rethink

my approach to discipline here at Macdonald Hall.

Really, sir?

I'm actually really glad to hear that.

Yeah, me too.

[FANFARE PLAYS]

That's it!

Wait, what's it?

Miss Peabody seems to run a pretty tight ship.

Maybe it's time I introduced myself.

No, no, no, please, sir, don't, please.

We have to stop him, or Macdonald Hall's gonna be

the world's first computerized military academy.

Let's go, let's go!

What do you mean, you're all that's left?

Against two girls?

Doberwomen,

new strategy: prepare to ambush.

[FANFARE PLAYS]

[GIRLS YELL]

Hello? Miss Peabody?

No, Mr. Wizzle, this is a mistake!

You wanna talk about new discipline ideas, I mean,

we're your guys.

Yeah, yeah, um, digging ditches,

wolf wrestling, dumpster detention?

We can work with that.

I've made up my mind, boys.

Macdonald Hall needs to be ruled

with an iron fist.

And somewhere in these woods is a lady

who has two of them.

[GIRLS YELLING] [FANFARE PLAYING]

[♪♪♪]

[PEABODY YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

[GIRLS ROARING]

[YELLS]

Cease fire, cease fire!

Who are you?

[STAMMERING]

We're Bruno and Boots.

This is Mr. Wizzle. He's leading the pilot program

at Macdonald Hall. Please don't attack us.

Quiet!

You mean to say that we wasted

all of our precious ammo on this?

Unless... Is this a trap?

BOTH: No! No!

Nobody's trapping anybody.

Retreat!

Uh-oh. This looks bad.

Hello, Gloria. Have you met Diane?

I believe she has talents you haven't fully appreciated.

Fire!

[YELLS]

[SCREAMING]

Good job, girls!

Don't stop!

Reload!

[GIRLS CHEERING, LAUGHING]

Woo-hoo!

CATHY: We won!

You cheated!

That's right, I saw your fancy massage tables

and your incense!

And if that wasn't bad enough,

you had to go across the street

and get help from the boys.

Well, you leave me with no choice

but to extend training through the whole summer,

and that goes for everyone!

[GIRLS TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

What?

See? An iron fist.

It's time I followed in her example.

No. I should do this myself.

For multiple infractions, Boots, 18 demerits.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

And Bruno,

I think just one will do.

Here goes. Yeah.

Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't you call my parents, right,

and tell them we got expelled,

and I'll hide in Australia

until this just all blows over?

It's only fair.

We wouldn't even be in this situation

if it wasn't for me.

What? What the...?

Were one of those balloons that hit you frozen?

It's true.

I thought I could be like you,

but all I did was just get in the way

of you actually doing it.

The Bruno way should've saved the day, but...

[SIGHS]

...it didn't.

Should we get this over with?

[SIGHS] Yeah.

I can't afford a ticket to Australia anyway.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Yeah, okay.

We're on our way.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Ah! Hello, boys.

I heard about the expulsion situation.

It's unfortunate indeed.

However, I did read a subsection of the agreement

that may be pertinent in this case.

Sir, are you living here?

No!

Yes.

Why?

Doesn't matter, never mind.

Where did I...? Aha!

Listen to this.

"Expulsions and their appeals

"are the sole decision of Wizzleware sysadmin

Walter C. Wizzle."

Huh? Yeah, huh?

You get an appeal.

You get to ask Wizzle to reconsider your expulsion.

It is now almost 5:00 on Friday,

so this has to wait until Monday,

which gives me the entire weekend to work on this.

Ha!

So we're somewhere between

expelled and not expelled,

hoping that you can find a loophole that may not even exist

or that the assistant headmaster

that literally just expelled us

will suddenly magically change his mind?

Exactly.

Have a good weekend.

Out, out, out, out!

We've got one last shot to save our bacon.

That's why I've called the whole team together.

The whole team.

I don't wanna do this--

I didn't ask.

Boots.

Diane.

Cathy.

Bruno.

Wilbur!

Well, that was fun. Bye!

[SIGHS] Fine.

We wanna get rid of Peabody

as much as you want to get rid of Wizzle,

and we could've used your help ages ago,

but someone was too stubborn to ask.

Ahem!

Fine, that someone was me.

Now can we all just stop talking

and figure out how to get rid of these jerks

once and for all?

Nice job on the sidekick, Grant.

She has her moments.

Okay, can we just get to work

and get rid of Wizzle and Peabody?

ELMER: It's one thing to get Wizzle

to change his mind about the expulsion.

Getting rid of Wizzle and Peabody altogether

is a whole different thing.

He's right. Getting him to change his mind

is gonna be impossible. No.

Traveling faster than light is impossible.

Me making the basketball team is impossible.

This is just really, really, really unlikely.

But what if instead of changing his mind,

he had a change of heart?

There was this moment in the woods...

You should've seen Wizzle's face.

Wizzle has a serious crush on Peabody.

[SCOFFS]

So, so, what I was thinking is...

we try to make Wizzle and Peabody fall in love.

Okay, that's impossible.

You're impossible.

BOOTS: What good would them

falling in love even do?

BRUNO: Are you kidding me?

If we can actually make the two

fall in love with each other,

they might just, you know,

run off and get married and start some school

on the other side of the world.

But...

How do you make people fall for each other?

It's not something that just happens.

[LAUGHS]

WILBUR: It's more likely to just happen

over a romantic dinner.

Ah, mmm!

That's it! We just set them up

on the fanciest, most romantic date ever!

I know just the place. [SNORTS]

You do? Where?

This classy little gem

called Manny's Kitchen. Oh, no.

Seriously?

[GRUNTS]

Uh, ew. [LAUGHS]

ALL: Woo!

[PHONE RINGS] Peabody speaking.

CATHY [ON PHONE]: Oh, hello, Miss Peabody,

it's Superintendent Snow calling.

I'd like to meet with you

to discuss the future of your wonderful program.

Let's meet for dinner.

Yes, ma'am.

I'd be delighted.

[PHONE RINGS]

WIZZLE: Walter C. Wizzle speaking.

Oh, hello, Mr. Wizzle,

it's Superintendent Snow calling.

I'd like to meet with you

to discuss the future of your wonderful program.

So is that FaceTime?

Skype? WizzleChat? What?

In person. Oh?

CATHY [ON PHONE]: Let's meet for dinner.

Sure thing, Miss Snow.

[♪♪♪]

BRUNO: We need this to be

the most romantic dinner of their lives,

Okay? When the date starts,

Cathy and Diane will be in the kitchen

to coordinate through our earpieces, all right?

Okay. Okay.

But first, there's a bunch

of heavy band equipment,

so we need to bring it in--

We got it all. It's not that heavy.

Nothing compared to our Peabody workout.

If being crazy strong is wrong,

I don't wanna be right.

Wow.

And we should get that TV

by their table turned off.

We don't want anything to distract from romance.

Let's go.

Okay.

Okay, one question.

What happens if the plan doesn't work?

BRUNO: Aw! He's got the Dog and Puppy Channel!

So there is a backup plan?

Yeah.

Heh.

[ANGRILY] We're gonna start another earthquake?

Just a little one, you know?

It's gonna frighten them right into each other's arms.

Man, you better hope this date works out.

Yeah, this...

Is this the right place?

WIZZLEWARE: Location confirmed.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT] Monsieur Wizzelle?

Wizzle.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT] But of course.

We've been expecting you. Please, right this way.

We will do everything we can

to make this evening unforgettable.

Oh, uh, Superintendent Snow

sent word that she is, uh,

how do you say? Delayed.

But she asked that you wait for her

along with her other dinner guest this evening.

[♪♪♪]

Miss Snow sent me to meet her and you?

Mr. Balloon War Ruiner?

Not a chance. I'm outta here.

She can't leave.

What do we do? I don't know!

You can tell Miss Snow that she can--

[PHONE RINGS]

Peabody. Yes, Miss Snow.

I'm at the restaurant now.

Oh, I'm dreadfully sorry about leaving you with that

devilishly handsome Mr. Wizzle.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Well, I won't be here when you arrive.

Miss Peabody, I am your superior

and you are to stay right where you are until I arrive,

which might be quite a while, actually.

Do you have a problem with that?

No, ma'am. Take as much time

as you need, ma'am.

That's more like it.

Now, enjoy a taco platter on me.

Ah! Compliments of Madame Superintendent Snow:

A complimentary platter de tacos,

featuring les bâtons de fish de tacos.

French tacos?

Si.

Okay, guys,

give them a little space.

We will retreat to allow you to have

a delightful conversation.

Bon appétit.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] How do you think it's going?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Pretty good. How's my French accent?

It's French? Thought it was Irish.

WIZZLE: Well, I happen to think

that my system is superior.

Sure, if you wanna teach kids

to sit on their butts all day.

Well, at least I don't have them doing

mindless exercise all day.

Mindless?

CATHY [ON RADIO]: Guys, a little help, please?

Well, that didn't take long.

Come on.

PEABODY: Bet you never exercised--

[FRENCH ACCENT] How is everything? Wonderful?

[FRENCH ACCENT] More sparkly?

[CUSTOMERS CHEERING]

Can you turn on this TV so I can watch the game?

But of course.

CATHY [ON RADIO]: No, don't do it, don't do it!

Not! Of course not.

Non, non, non. Because...

It's time for music!

Oui.

ELMER [ON MIC]: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Gloria and Walter, this one's for you.

[♪♪♪]

♪ No one seems to notice ♪

♪ No one seems to care ♪

♪ Love has got me Floating in the air ♪

♪ I've got a grin From ear to ear ♪

[APPLAUSE]

♪ Love knocked me ♪

♪ Off of my feet ♪

♪ I wanna go out and shout it ♪

♪ Look at what love's Done to me ♪

♪ I'm gonna tell ♪

♪ Folks that I meet ♪

♪ Love's made me weak In the knees ♪

Well, that's awfully...

nice?

His voice is as beautiful as you are.

I mean, not that you're beautiful.

I mean, not that I noticed.

Look, tacos!

♪ Make me a little bit more ♪

Mmm!

Wow. Good taco.

They're not bad.

I'm sorry I interrupted your water war thing,

but it was nice to finally get to meet you.

See you in action.

Well...

I know I can be a bit of a windbag,

but trust me,

no matter how I bark and shout,

I really feel that--

[KEYBOARD CLICKING]

Oh, never mind.

Typical tech guy.

Can't take your eyes off your gadgets.

There. That should do it.

[CUSTOMERS WHOOP]

How did you do that?

Oh, no big deal.

I just spoofed the access board,

flipped some bits, and voilà!

Took control of a multi-million dollar

broadcast satellite.

You can watch the game now.

That sounds slightly illegal.

Eight to 10 years in prison.

But, uh, I know how to cover my tracks.

[♪♪♪]

[NORMAL VOICE] It's going well. We should let them be.

[NORMAL VOICE] Are you kidding me?

If it's going well, we need to hit them

with the romance even harder.

No, no! Bruno. Bruno!

[IN FRENCH ACCENT] Dessert time!

[IN FRENCH ACCENT] Is not right now. Maybe later.

Uh, Superintendent Snow

will not be making it here after all tonight,

but she has commanded us

to prepare for you our most roman--

uh, fantastic brownie sundae just for you two.

Oh, we don't need any.

You hear that? They don't need it--

But they are getting it.

If you insist.

If he insists. Okay, but let's keep it quick.

Would you like some, uh, sprinkles,

some chocolate chips, mallows à la marsh--

How about, uh,

le works?

Ah!

He's very enthusiastic about desserts.

CATHY [ON RADIO]: Bruno, what are you doing?

Boots, they're getting miffed.

The most important part...

Ah! The whipped crème.

Guys, enough!

You know what they say, though: less is more.

Uh, but none is no fun.

Careful with that.

We're just trying to give you

the best service possible.

Which includes the whipped crème!

Stop--

[CUSTOMERS SCREAM]

You're the worst!

What on earth is going on here?

WIZZLEWARE: Students identified:

Wilbur Hackenschleimer,

Elmer Drimsdale, Chris Talbot,

Melvin O'Neil, Bruno Walton.

WIZZLE: Bruno? Boots?

You're all behind this?

Miss Peabody, we can explain.

What are you doing here?

WIZZLE: Well, I've had my limit for awfulness.

I'm leaving. Me too.

We will get to the bottom of this on Monday.

[♪♪♪]

Where's the manager? You're the manager?

Do something!

[IN NORMAL VOICE] The back-up plan!

Everybody, plug into the uber-sub.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] No, no, stop, stop, stop!

We need to think this through.

We need to do this your way.

We need to stop, take a breath,

and think it over.

We-- It's our only hope.

I don't know what to do!

The date was a disaster,

they have nothing in common--

Little cuties!

At least it was a break from her dog metaphors.

And we are the Doberwomen!

[BARKS]

What? What, what, what?

The doggie videos,

the puppy socks and pajamas,

the lapdogs, Doberwomen!

They do have something in common!

BOTH: The Dog and Puppy Channel

[WIZZLE & PEABODY ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]

[PUPPIES WHINING]

Hey, puppies!

Where?

Uh-oh, cute alert!

Aww!

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Oh, look at 'em.

BOTH: You like dogs too?

[♪♪♪]

I now pronounce you soul mates through eternity.

You may embrace your beloved.

Kiss.

[ALL CHEERING]

GIRL: Yeah, Wizzle and Peabody!

BOOTS: They say love can conquer all.

I don't think that's entirely true.

But I do know that love can get you un-expelled,

it can get your summer back,

and it can really bring out the best in people.

♪ For life, for life ♪

Even people you didn't think had a good side.

♪ For life, for life ♪

♪ For life, for life ♪

♪ For life, for life For life ♪

I'm happy to report that that was the last

we saw of the happy couple.

I look at you and I see Chihuahuas!

Pomeranians! Lapdogs!

[DOGS WHINING]

Well, that's changing right now.

Honey!

All right, class, get the ball.

Go get the ball!

Go get it! Go get it!

♪ Oh, yeah So let go ♪

BOOTS: I've never been very interested in romance,

but after this,

I'm starting to see things a little differently.

Hey, watch your foot.

You watch your foot! Okay, okay,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

William, you did a lovely job

on the wedding cake,

and it was very generous of you

to offer Macdonald Hall as the venue.

Well, anything to get them hitched and on their way.

I hope Superintendent Snow

wasn't too upset the happy couple

ended their pilot program early?

Oh, she was spitting mad!

She really has to learn to accept her anger.

You see, anger can have

a powerfully transformative effect on one's life.

Eugenia, to paraphrase the popular saying,

clam up and dance.

[GIGGLING]

♪ For life, for life ♪

♪ For life, for life ♪

♪ And I'm gonna make you Mine for life ♪

♪ For life, for life ♪

It's pretty great, isn't it?

Better than great.

It's home. And it's ours again.

Hey, congrats on saving two schools,

helping two total weirdos

live happily ever after,

and for helping me realize that...

I have a lot to learn from you.

Thanks.

And I may have learned that the Bruno method

does in fact have its perks.

I am glad that you've decided

to slow things down a little bit

and maybe think things through--

Is that a chocolate fountain?

Ha, ha! You know what that means?

No, I--

Yeah, chocolate bath time!

Bruno, it's gonna be too hot!

At least take your shoes off!

♪ Everybody looking At sunshine ♪

♪ Going back, Mama That's what you chose ♪

♪ Well, I was on my knees ♪

♪ Begging please I need release ♪

[LAUGHS]

We wanna save Peabody as much as-- Save?

Get rid of.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT] Uh, uh, fantastic, uh.

Uh, browndae--

[LAUGHS]

Ugh.

Nice!

Sorry, guys, didn't mean

to actually take it off.

You know, running and jumping

and yelling and...

I'm missing one.

MAN: Push-ups, sit-ups-- Push-ups, sit-ups!

[LAUGHS]

I look at you and I see Chihuahuas!

Pomeranians! Lapdogs!

[BARKING]

Except for one itty little...

Itty-bitty detail:

you're not alone. Miss Scrimmage?

♪ They took me around 'Cause I'm feeling fine ♪

♪ Hold me back, Mama That's what you chose ♪

Thank you very much for agreeing

to meet with us, Jane, and...

And, uh...

I'm gonna start again, okay?

Absolutely.

Okay, thank you so much

for that opportunity, Jane.

Fire! Ooh!

Yes! Oh, girls!

He-he-he.

We can handle

whatever Peabody yells at--

Put rocks in our-- [ROLLS TONGUE]

♪ Well it pleases me Oh, it pleases me ♪

♪ No, it's looking More trouble ♪

♪ Then you make it Go home ♪

♪ I heard that You're wasting your time away ♪

♪ Thought to myself I would do the same ♪

♪ Hey. going out Going out of my head ♪

♪ Back on the word And I wouldn't forget ♪

[APPLAUSE]

Ow!

DIANE: Fire! Ah!

[GRUNTS]

[LAUGHING]

Can we not aim that low?

Wizzle deserves that.

♪ Hey, oh ♪

♪ Waiting for a minute That's out of control ♪

♪ Going back, Mama That's what you chose ♪