Original subtitles

Founded in 1892.

Over 100 years of tradition,

academic excellence and

preparing boys for leadership.

At least, that's what

it says in the brochure.

That's Bruno Walton.

He almost broke his arm

to get out of a test.

He broke the wrong arm and

still had to write the test,

but, you know. Some people

call him crazy,

I call him my best friend.

Me!

That other guy?

The one who knew that

that branch

couldn't hold both of us?

That's me. Melvin O'Neal.

But nobody calls me that.

Let's go.

Okay!

And for the next four years,

providing we don't get

expelled,

or worse...

we call this place home.

You can call it Macdonald Hall.

♪♪ You're all I know ♪

♪ We're discussing everything ♪

In 100 years, not much

has changed at the Hall.

There may be richer schools,

more athletic schools,

more smart-- Smarter schools...

but you know,

that's the way we like it.

There's no better school

than Macdonald Hall.

It has practically everything.

♪ Said oh, whoa ♪

Let's go!

♪ Oh, whoa ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ You're on your own ♪

♪ Lovers come

And they will go ♪

♪ Your shadows

Will seem to grow ♪

♪ I've known beasts

And wild things ♪

♪ I can't control ♪

♪ But what I guess

Is simplicity ♪

♪ Being on your own ♪

Let's go! Come on!

♪ To be alone? ♪

Come on!

Now, you might be wondering

why there aren't any girls her.

That's because

they're across the road,

at the Scrimmage Academy

for Education and Awakening,

where they do...

You know, I'm not really

sure what they do.

But that's the fun stuff.

There's also the not-fun stuff.

And the king of all not-fun

stuff is... The Fish.

No one knows who gave him

the nickname,

but he never blinks,

never breathes,

he once ate a worm, though he

doesn't actually know that,

and his name's

William Sturgeon,

which is apparently

some sort of fish.

Come on, we got classes to get

to and Christmas break to plan.

Okay, Elmer. On three.

Okay? One, two, three!

Whoa!

All right, buddy. Phase two!

Let's do it!

Tradition, exploding banners,

a pair of irresistible

troublemakers...

Macdonald Hall has everything.

Well, okay. Almost everything.

Go Macdonald!

Go Macdonald.

Get out there!

Speed. Determination.

Endurance.

That's what you're up against.

So just try and remember

the most important thing:

swim real fast.

Oh, and don't try

and splash too much.

It'll distract O'Neal.

Let's be honest,

he's pretty much

all we got. So...

Swimmers, take your positions.

Holy mother of pearl!

York! Go York!

Easy, partner.

Macdonald who?

Let's go, guys! Hey, when

I say Macdonald, you say?

Hall.

All right,

when I say Macdonald, you say?

Shut up!

Guys, come on.

Show some Hall spirit.

Are we gonna beat

those York turkeys?

According to previous matches,

the odds are 3789 to 1.

Give or take.

Elmer, what good does your math

do if it just subtracts hope?

Chris, how's the victory

poster coming along?

Chris...

Wait!

Don't let them start!

I can't believe it.

I'm so excited!

That is the spirit

I'm talking about--

Pizzaroo Pouches.

The York caf has them!

Sorry... had Pizzaroo Pouches.

Had.

I say Pizzaroo, you say?

Pouches!

Pizzaroo.

Pouches!

Knock it off, Burton.

Sorry, Walton.

The only way Scrimmage

would let us come

was to make it an

independent study.

We're going with "Inside a

Losing Streak. The Mental Toll."

Hey! We can always win.

You guys just gotta have faith.

Oh, goodness.

Swimmers, please

take your positions.

Go York!

Go buddy!

Have a good race, Chip.

Have a bad race, Boots.

Go York!

Three, two, one, go!

No! No! I don't

want to do it anymore.

I changed my mind!

Come on! Come on!

Get in there!

Go Boots! Go Boots!

A little more, Boots!

No!

Yeah, get in there!

Go Boots, go Boots! Come on!

Go Boots!

Come on, O'Neal!

Yeah! Yeah, man!

Thank you very much.

Congratulations.

You deserve this.

You made the school very proud.

York's the best!

Okay, boys.

See you on the bus.

They may be turkeys,

but those York boys

have the webbed feet of a duck.

Yeah, what do you expect?

They have their own pool.

Our team gets two hours a month

at the community center.

And most of that time is spent

trying to figure out who

stole their clothes.

Good race, Chip.

No way, dude. Wouldn't want

to catch any "loseritis."

Hey! What was that?

Bruno... I know that look.

I don't like that look. Please.

We just got over our detentions

for Operation Banner Blast.

Guys.

Would I ever do anything

that was rash and dangerous

if it wasn't also

awesome and dangerous?

Yes. Constantly.

Thinking what I'm thinking?

Maybe.

But I don't know

where we can find

23 glow sticks and a panda

for him, right now.

Nice freestyling, but, uh...

Thank you.

I'm kinda thinking

Operation Fizzle Fix.

I'm one step ahead of you.

Well, here we go again.

All right, listen up, boys.

Look, maybe we didn't win today.

No, we definitely lost.

But winning is not everything.

Let's remember what's

important in life.

Pizzaroo Pouches?

No, Hackenschleimer.

So then I said,

"no way, dude!

Wouldn't want to

catch any 'loseritis'"!

Oh, it doesn't get

any better than that!

Well, that should take care

of any "loseritis."

Yeah, we should run.

We should run. We should run.

Losing is something of

a tradition at Macdonald Hall.

You know, some of

our top swimmers

have gone on to lose

at the Olympics.

♪♪ Well, settle down,

It's not over yet ♪

♪ Well, turn around, there are

Things you mustn't forget ♪

I'm coming for you!

Coming!

Losers!

Sir, you know, we're all very

eager to resume our studies,

so maybe we should

drive away as fast as possible.

Quite right.

Everybody on the bus?

Whoop!

Mr. Walton. Ms. Burton.

Nice of you to join us.

Oh, no sweat,

Headmaster Sturgeon.

Don't mind me.

You can just drop me off

at Scrimmage's.

Can we?

Oh, how lucky for us.

Did you have a good time

at the swim meet today?

Are you kidding me, sir?

Today has been...

fizz-tastic.

Right, boys? Right?

At least some of them

are taking it well.

Swimming is so stupid.

They did what?!

Yes, 20 liters of Fizz-All

dumped in the pool.

Stolen from our infirmary.

Bad sportsmanship, William.

Really, Hartley?

As bad as your boys

knocking our swim team

captain into the pool?

Nevertheless, I do hope

there'll be some consequences

before our next swim meet. The

stress is killing my stomach.

I don't mind telling you.

I'll handle my boys, Hartley,

and as for your stomach...

why don't you have

a sip of your pool?

Hmm?

Oh, you hung up.

I guess I'm going to get

the last word.

Word!

Headmaster Sturgeon.

Mr. Sturgeon?

This is Eugenia Scrimmage,

from across the road.

Bob Hartley

from the York Boys' Academy

tells me that

one of my young women

was involved

in an aggressive activity

intended to cause distress

and/or offence to others.

You mean a prank?

Well, what you call a prank

I call a desperate cry for help

for students who have

no outlet for creativity

and emotional growth.

"Prank" is shorter.

I'm inviting my students

to form a sharing circle

to discuss their feelings that

led to these "pranks."

Your boys are welcome.

Ms. Scrimmage,

the only thing my boys need

to share is an understanding

of what happens

when they break the rules.

My rules. But...

thank you for your concern.

Hello?

Hello?

Ms. Davis?

Bruno and Boots?

If you please.

Yep.

That's a non-regulation

shirt, Spencer. Two demerits.

Bruno and Boots

to the headmaster's office.

Thank you.

Pierce! Running in the halls.

Three demerits. And you,

with the non-regulation

eraser up your nose.

One demerit.

Walton. You and your

roommate must report to--

What was that?

What's what, George

Wexford-Smythe III?

That's George

Wexford-Smythe the Third.

I'm not a movie sequel.

Really? Because I heard

every one of you

is worse than the last.

Yeah.

That's a pathetic excuse

for a punchline. Five demerits.

Oh, yeah, keep laughing.

Because clearly you're

not in enough trouble.

All right.

Got my eye on you, Bruno!

I see everything!

But, guys,

all my friends are here!

I have great classes.

I'm trying my best!

It's-- It's everything.

You can't take that away.

We can talk about it later.

Hon, we gotta go.

Race starts in 20 minutes.

We know you can do great

things, Melvin.

There's a leader in you.

We just want to see it.

Love you!

I couldn't agree more.

Hello, Bruno.

Hi.

Goodbye, Bruno.

Oh. See ya.

Dude, you're not still bummed

about that race, right?

No! Look, it's not that.

No, look. It's all cool, man.

Don't worry about it.

Are you sure, man?

Yeah.

Okay, good.

'Cause the, uh,

Fish wants to see us

in his office. Pronto.

Great.

But, you know,

I've got a feeling that he's

gonna be in a good mood today.

...not to mention extremely

poor sportsmanship.

Surely Macdonald Hall boys know

how to lose graciously.

Losing graciously is about

all we know how to do.

I take full responsibility

for this, sir. It's just,

when they pushed Boots in the

pool and everything, I just...

I don't know, I guess

I just kind of lost control.

Oh, the pranks seemed very

well-controlled, Walton.

Okay, first, you know,

thank you. And--

Not a compliment.

Thank you.

Sir,

have I ever done anything

that wasn't 100 percent

deserved?

Need I remind you of the

Moldovan flag incident?

Oh! No, you, uh, you don't

need to remind us of that.

The court case

is actually still pending.

The unfortunate incident

regarding the penguin

and federal authorities?

That penguin

knew exactly what

he was getting into. We've--

The green wiener incident?

Well, actually, sir,

in our defense,

it was St. Patrick's Day.

Not that green wiener incident.

Oh.

Oh.

Look. Regardless of who

deserves what, the question now

is who deserves to clean up

the mess at York Academy.

Elmer Drimsdale

said that in five days

the pool will

be as good as new.

Actually, with the Fizz-All

purifying the water,

probably better than new.

Yeah.

So, I mean, in a way, York

kind of owes us a thank-you.

Quit while

you're ahead, O'Neal.

Yes, sir.

If Elmer is right,

and lucky for you,

he usually is,

punishment will be light.

One week confined to

your rooms after dinner.

Out.

Uh, sir, if I do an extra week

of punishment now, does that

come off any future punishments?

It's a good question.

Boys...

One moment. Sit down again.

Since you both

came to Macdonald Hall,

you've expended not an

inconsiderable amount of energy

on things that explode, fizz,

rumble, shatter, squish...

Squish?

Operation Pudding Pants.

Oh.

Think about what good

could happen if you put all

of that energy into something

that would last. You're not

going to be here forever.

Actually, sir,

I'm working on that one.

I probably won't even

be here next year.

What?

My parents want to pull me out

of Macdonald Hall.

Uh...

Could-- Could--

Could you give us a minute?

This is my office.

I was gonna say...

Yeah, but why, Boots?

You know my mom.

She was on

the Olympic gym squad.

Can I have your autograph?

And my dad still coaches

basketball. They're jocks.

I'm a jock!

Thanks, man. See ya.

They just think I belong at

a school that's better for...

jocks.

Yeah, but dude,

we've been best pals

since the first day.

Do you remember our first day?

Yeah. How could I forget?

♪ I said I want too much ♪

One second!

Woo!

Oh, uh,

don't worry. My side of the room

is just as bad as yours.

Hey. Uh...

Sup?

I'm Melvin.

We're gonna have

to change that. Okay, Melvin.

I am gonna call you...

uh... pants.

Pants?

Ah, we'll work on it.

Come on in, man. How you doing?

Did you see a fire extinguisher

on the way in? Neither did I.

And that is when I knew that

we'd be best pals forever.

How you literally

blew up our room

and then gave me

a nickname they hate

probably won't

convince my folks.

Why do they need

convincing, dude?

You've already got the greatest

friend in the world,

and you go to the number one

school in the country.

Okay,

number one at attendance.

But do your folks

know that?

Look, I know that

and you know that.

But if my folks don't care,

what can I do about it?

Tell you what

you can do about it.

Just... I'll put the word out,

okay? Midnight meeting.

Sound good?

All right, let's do it.

See you, man.

See you.

Password?

It's us, Elmer.

Bruno says we need a password.

No exceptions.

I think it's "open the door,

or we'll open it for you."

With your head.

All lower case.

All one word.

Ah!

Now I don't

want to blow things

out of proportion or anything,

but this could be

the darkest hour

in Macdonald Hall history.

Ever.

Got your message. What's up?

Oh, nothing major.

Doom, gloom and life

as we know it. Hot chocolate?

Could you be a little bit more

specific? If we get caught here,

Scrimmage has us in self-esteem

building exercises for a month.

Boots might get kicked out

of the Hall next year.

And obviously,

that can't happen.

Macdonald Hall without

Bruno and Boots is like...

like the North Pole without

Santa and Mrs. Claus.

I'm Santa.

Okay?

But we are here to make sure

that that doesn't happen, right?

Indubitably.

I couldn't have said, mumbled

or drawn it better myself!

Uh, all right, everyone.

Show us what you got.

Best idea wins, but there

are no wrong answers.

So with glasses and

a moustache, Boots will be

unrecognizable to his parents

when they come to get him.

Meaning he can stay. Forever!

I'm Boots. Yeah. Hoo hoo!

Can't find me. Uh, huh.

"And after a few

"termite generations,

Boots's new school will be

"a pile of sawdust.

You can't be sent to a school

that doesn't exist."

I think this could work.

Yeah...

So once we cross the equator,

the Earth's gravitational pull

should allow us to slingshot

through the Earth's atmosphere.

And the llamas, Elmer?

I'm getting to the llamas!

Anyways. Once we reverse

the polarity of the neutron

flow, we should generate one...

Oh... okay. okay.

Okay, show of hands.

Does anybody have an idea

that doesn't involve

breaking the law?

Or destroying another school.

Or llamas.

Okay, um, remember when I said

there are no bad ideas? Yeah--

Your problem

isn't Boots leaving.

Your problem is convincing

his folks to let him stay.

So what makes

a York better than the Hall?

Nothing.

Yeah.

Except for Pizzaroo Pouches.

And their pool.

I kinda wish we had that.

Wilbur! That's it!

We're gonna get

Pizzaroo Pouches?!

No, we steal

York's pool! Right?

The question, okay?

How do we convince Boots'

jock parents to let him stay

at the Hall? The answer:

by giving him

everything a jock needs,

including his own pool.

Chris, dude,

you're an inspiration

to artists everywhere.

All right, Elmer,

what's the cost?

Materials, labor,

insurance, water costs...

150,000.

Dollars?!

Boys, how are we supposed to

make that kind of money?

It's easy.

Okay, Wilbur, take this down.

Needed: $150,000.

Okay, well, now all

we need is a plan.

Oh, well, yeah. When you put it

like that, basically half done.

That's the spirit.

Now, Boots. What would

make your parents

almost as happy

as us getting a pool?

Oh, you mean besides me

getting a new roommate?

By you winning the next

York Academy-Macdonald Hall

swim meet.

Oh, perfect, okay.

Quick question:

how am I supposed to do the

thing that nobody's been able

to do in the last... oh, what

is it? I don't know... ever?

Dude, because you're awesome.

And you know how I know that?

Because I am awesome.

And awesome sticks to awesome

to make even awesomer to...

Plus, if you don't,

by this time next year you're

going to be sharing some dorm

with a meathead named Crusher

who probably smells

like sweat socks and cheese,

so...

balanced?

How do you get me

every time, man?

I am just that good.

Okay, next.

Read me that checklist.

Needed: $150,000.

Why would my family

just give you $150,000?

Uh, because I said please?

No, you didn't.

Right. Well...

how about because your family

is one of the richest

in the country?

Do you think they

got that wealthy by

giving out money to stupid

things like swimming pools?

Didn't your dad buy Iceland?

No! Just rented it.

And only for Mother's Day.

You wanna make

a lot of money, Bruno?

Here's my advice.

Take everything you own

and sell it.

With the 20 bucks you get,

go downtown and

buy yourself a clue.

That's it!

George!

Oh, no! Do not touch me.

You're a genius.

Naiman! You press that tie.

Three demerits.

Yeah.

So that's it? We're just done,

there's no more team anymore?

Boys? What's up?

"Dear boys.

"I always said having fun

mattered more than winning.

"Well, I've had so much

fun with you guys

"that I've decided to try

winning on for size.

"I have accepted

a position at York Academy.

Yours, Coach Flynn."

Are you serious?

I guess we should just go.

Hey, come on, boys.

Where are you going?

We have no coach.

What else are we gonna do?

Guys. If I don't win

this next swim meet,

I'm gonna be stuck with Crusher.

And I hate cheese.

What?

We wanna win our next

swim meet, right?

I was kind of hoping

to learn how to swim first.

We'll work on that. You know,

uh, I'll be the coach.

Okay? I'll run the training.

We'll win.

Who's with me?

I like the sound of that!

By yelling,

he makes it sound possible.

Let's do this!

Yeah!

Rummage sale, boys!

With all the stuff we have,

we're gonna make this money

in no time, okay?

But everything must go!

Okay, okay, okay,

let's see what you got.

So okay,

hockey cards are nice--

Ooh-- But, see, hockey

equipment is nicer, right?

Think big!

Okay, see, you don't

need this lamp, dude.

Just sell it, right? Got that?

Doesn't that belong

to the school?

Well, yeah, but the money we

raise is for the school. Right?

True.

Right.

Now, who has a spare kidney?

Bruno! Bruno!

All right. So I got my Junior

Genius Science Set,

my old protractors-- Whoa.

New protractor.

Great, Elmer.

Now, do you have anything people

might actually want?

Yes, if they don't mind

pre-owned orthodontia.

Burton!

Walton.

What's this I hear

about a rummage sale?

Oh, everything must go.

Do you want in?

Well, what's in it for us?

Uh... glory,

our deepest thanks,

um, a used retainer.

Goodbye, Walton.

And-- And...

free access to the pool

for all the Scrimmage girls.

At any time.

We need everything

by next weekend.

Does that give

you enough time?

No problem.

We're in independent learning.

"Traps Through the Ages."

My idea.

Geeze.

Do you guys ever do

any actual schoolwork?

Scrimmage believes

in learning through living.

I'm dancing my geometry

test next week.

Jealous?

Totally.

Later, Burton.

Elmer?

Do you still have that ant farm

from Operation, uh...

Ant Blaster?

Only 17 unaccounted for.

Good. Here's what

I'm thinking.

Ants. Why pay

to have them removed

when you can just pay

to have them as your pets?

I'll get some jars.

I see you've tidied.

How's the swim team?

Ugh, don't ask.

Hey, is The Fish gonna be okay

with all this--?

Is that a bag of doorknobs?

What are you--?

It is a bag of victory.

Never mind that.

Check this out.

It's the official website

of the Boots O'Neal fan club.

Chris designed it

and of course, I wrote it.

It's pretty awesome, huh?

Yeah, pretty ridiculous.

Who's that even for?

Uh, well, fans.

Future stalkers...

Oh, and I don't know,

maybe a certain set of parents

who need to be reminded

of how awesome their son is?

They're jocks. Not idiots.

There's no way they're going

to believe I said all this.

Why not? You wouldn't say

anything that isn't true.

Yeah, but I'm not

writing it. You are.

Yeah, I'm your best friend.

Who knows better

what you would say?

Yeah, but...

You really are something, man.

Glad you noticed.

How many n's in "winningocity"?

Winn-ing... Three?

By McKinsey's beard...

That is right, folks,

everything must go!

Where did that--

You don't like the offer?

We will give you a completely

different offer.

Everything must go.

And no jar of ants

would be complete

without our

trusty how-to guides.

And if you lose your ants,

we've got that covered too.

All right.

Bidding starts at $15.

Okay, $10.

Okay, five bucks, guys.

We're getting desperate here.

Twenty bucks or best offer!

Look at you!

Shakespeare's typewriter?

One of a kind.

People, I still

see stuff on tables.

I still see tables.

You want one?

Take it. Give us an offer

and we'll make you a deal.

Everything must go--

Down here. Right now.

This instant.

I'll handle this.

Mr. Sturgeon.

Great to see you.

Thank you for coming.

Do you know how much money

we've made for the pool?

What? What are you talking

about? What money, what pool?

Who gave you permission

to do this?

Mr. Sturgeon, let's be honest.

If I asked you for permission

to hold this rummage sale

on school property,

wouldn't you have said no?

Absolutely.

See? So obviously I made the

right choice not to tell you.

Well, well, Sturgeon.

Quite the scene.

Well, if it isn't

Headmaster Hartley

of York Boys' Academy.

Having a nice time, Bob?

Well, I just picked up

Sherlock Holmes'

copper umbrella stand

for $10,

so that's something.

Mm-hmm. Well, you know,

that probably didn't belong

to Sherlock Holmes.

Oh? And how would you know?

Well, for one thing, Sherlock

Holmes wasn't a real person.

Then explain

the umbrella stand.

Anyways, I'm surprised

that you would

go for something like this.

After all, a rummage sale

is so...

Awesome? Sir, I totally agree.

But do you know what would be

even more awesome?

Macdonald Hall Sturgeon Memorial

Aquatic Facility and Pool-adium.

Pooladium.

You listen to me

very carefully.

Number one, I'm not dead yet.

Number two, I--

Wait, wait.

Do you find something really

funny about this, Hartley?

So this is all for a pool?

Yeah!

Oh. And how many rummage sales

do you think that will take?

That's actually a very good

question, sir. We've done

the math, with Elmer,

and he said,

you know, if we have one every

other day, maybe every day

in June--

Ohh.

You know what, Hartley?

I'd worry less about how

we're going to get our pool

and more about how

you're going to deal with us

at the next swim meet.

Oh, I look forward to it,

Sturgeon.

Gentlemen, gentlemen. This is

a friendly rummage sale.

You know, sir, there are some

very nice CDs over there

and you know, there's

a weightlifting set here

that you can't afford not

to buy, sir. It's quite nice.

If you like that stand,

here's another deal...

It is killer.

I don't know how I'm

going to, like, carry it.

A genuine hand-built

medieval rodent catcher,

ladies and gentlemen.

But that's not all.

It also makes

an excellent juicer.

So, uh, you made this, huh?

I don't suppose

you could, uh, maybe

make us a pool

for us to train in, huh?

Yeah.

But, um, maybe

I can help with some

training equipment.

Really?

I might have some ideas.

That would be great. Uh...

You know, I guess it would have

to be on dry land, though,

'cause you can't put

training wheels on water.

I'll catch you around.

William. Do you know what

I see when I look at all this?

Chaos?

Inspiration.

Do you know that your boys

and my girls planned this

all by themselves?

No fear, no worries--

No parking, no oversight,

inadequate toilet facilities...

Oh, you. Really. What's the

worst that could happen?

Let's wait and see, shall we?

There's no need,

I already did.

And it's remarkable.

Fifty, 60, 70.

Doing the rat catchers and all

the other stuff we brought in,

tell me if we didn't bring in

the most money so far.

Yeah. You know,

not bad, but, um...

not the best. Tell you what.

The top fundraiser

at the end of this

gets bragging rights.

And the first swim in the pool.

Plus their name on it.

The Cathy Burton Macdonald Hall

Sturgeon Memorial

Aquatic Facility and Pooladium.

Has a nice ring to it,

don't you think?

Game on.

$2718.19.

Oh, yeah!

Wilbur, with all those fire

extinguishers that you sold,

man, you put us,

like, way over the top.

Yeah, but Chris's signs

told everybody where to go.

And after today, we have...

3.30125 percent

of the required funds.

And that's less

than what we need?

So what? That's like, what...

...30 more rummage sales?

No problem, guys!

What do you think, Boots?

Guys.

This is not good.

And if they try

to take her girls,

remember: no mercy, no quarter!

Save our Scrimmage!

Save our Scrimmage!

Save our Scrimmage!

What is the meaning

of this nonsense?

Oh, hey, Headmaster Sturgeon.

Nice to see you.

Sorry to disturb,

but our beloved leader

has been falsely accused!

Save our Scrimmage!

Save our Scrimmage!

Backup, Joe.

These kittens have claws,

but they-- Ah! No!

Yes, girls. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Send backup immediately.

Full riot gear.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

And Bruno's fault.

Yeah, well, I'm not sure,

but... probably.

Officers,

what could the charges

against Ms. Scrimmage

possibly be?

Armed robbery, for one.

Armed robbery?!

Yep. Someone held up

the Fast Mart.

With this.

That could belong to anyone.

"Property of Eugenia

Scrimmage."

William.

Tell them it wasn't me.

Officers, just curious.

If she were to be arrested,

how long would

she be away for, exactly?

I can hear you!

Yes. Goodbye.

Uh... Burton.

An actual dinosaur

backscratcher.

But that's not all.

Buy this now

and we'll throw in

those bags you got there.

Oh, yeah, we donated that.

Maybe that should have

tipped us off,

when he left without paying.

Really? That's what would

have tipped you off?

Officers,

I should also say

that I had the privilege

of Ms. Scrimmage's company

for the entire afternoon,

so she couldn't possibly be

your robber.

Okay. She can go.

Thanks, Headmaster.

Well done.

Well, all is well,

blah, blah,

blah, blah. Let's go to bed.

Yeah.

Not so fast, boys.

You know, a rummage sale usually

implies the sale of items

belonging to the seller. Hmm?

That would not include every

brass doorknob in the school,

the gym program's weight set,

or my chair!

Yeah, sir, but every penny we

make is going towards the pool.

We're saving the Hall.

Walton, you can't save the

school by selling the school.

Okay, yeah, but that's--

Okay, now you see, that--

Ah, actually,

that's a really good point.

Mr. Sturgeon, maybe

we went a bit too far.

But we were just trying to

follow your advice.

Make something that lasts?

This pool will last.

And we're just getting

started. See this?

Boys, I am still headmaster

of this institution, correct?

When there's a meeting,

I chair them.

When there's an exam,

I examine them.

When the grass is cut, I...

I don't normally cut the grass,

but those are the rules.

Now I know you had good

intentions, but I'd like

to point out a great deal of

harm can be caused

by people with good intentions.

Gotcha.

But, um...

can we keep fundraising?

You will tell me about

everything, okay?

I will keep the money safe here.

But for now...

yes.

Thank you, sir.

We're going to make this happen

and you will see. And you know,

we're practically there.

2800 bucks.

So... we're just gonna

steal their stuff?

It's not stealing. York buys

all-new equipment every year.

It's literally garbage.

Oh. Well, when you

put it like that...

I kind of feel

even worse about it.

I don't have to

help you with this.

I'm a Scrimmage girl,

you're a Hall boy.

We're from two different worlds.

Different universes.

We're across the road.

It's a wide road.

Okay, so...

why are you helping me, then?

That's my business.

Your business

is making up your mind.

Are you in or out?

All right.

So she's like, "Wow, Chip.

It's like you have

a double six pack."

And I'm like,

"Yeah. It's a ten pack."

Well, well, well. Come to see

what a real winner looks like,

swimmer boy?

Oh, yeah, Chip.

You know, I can't

imagine how you do it.

Well, we're mostly

on a protein diet. Eggs,

fish, lean steak, lots of

vitamin C, D and E.

Oh, and the secret ingredient:

Pilates.

Hey!

Shut up.

What are you doing here?

Oh, just, uh...

admiring your garbage, Chip.

So, um, about

the Pilates. You know,

I'm not really sure if it's

right for me. You know,

I always go back and forth...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a solid routine.

You know, I could show you

a really good one.

Yeah.

Or not.

You know, it feels like you

guys are up to something.

Up to something? Come on.

No.

Something I should probably

make a really mean joke about.

You know, so I'm gonna

go figure that out

and the next time

I see you, be ready.

Bye, Boots.

Hey, Chip!

Next time I see you,

you won't be making any jokes.

All right,

let's get the stuff.

♪♪ No single thought

Or double thinking ♪

♪ No triple checks on moves

Or what they're feeling ♪

♪ This is their stage,

An ode to their last days ♪

♪ Crying out to the world ♪

♪ The quiet has

Now been heard ♪

♪ Oh, and some days ♪

♪ I feel the same way ♪

♪ But I can hardly

Feel the beat ♪

♪ You're doing it right,

You do it right for me ♪

♪ You're kicking it up,

You're kicking up a scene ♪

♪ You're playing a song,

You play it on repeat ♪

♪ You're doing it right,

You do it right for me ♪

♪ You're doing it right,

You do it right for me ♪

♪ You're kicking it up,

You're kicking up a scene ♪

♪ You're playing a song,

You play it on repeat ♪

♪ You're doing it right,

You do it right for me ♪

♪ And I can hardly

Feel the beat ♪

♪ You're doing it right ♪

♪ You do it right for me ♪

♪ You're kicking it up,

You're kicking up a scene ♪

♪ You're playing a song,

You play it on repeat ♪

♪ You're doing it right,

You do it right for me ♪

♪ You're doing it right,

You do it right for me ♪

♪ You're doing it right,

You do it right for me ♪♪

Which means we are 1/3

of the way there.

But school

is already half over.

Thank goodness.

What was that?

That you-- That you boys have

accomplished so much.

I think you've made

more than anybody

in Macdonald Hall history.

Well, not including prohibition.

Well, say it's not enough.

See, we've done

online contests--

Thank you--

Lottery draws, and actually,

I'm meeting with a Nigerian

prince next week.

We could do, like,

I don't know, a talent show?

That'd only work

if we had talent.

Eating contest?

Chris could do caricatures!

Oh, that's good.

Have you seen the one

he did of you, Mr. Sturgeon?

Actually, it's right here.

Right?

That does not look

anything like my...

car.

We need something big,

you know? Bold.

Beyond just the school,

you know?

Something like, um...

something like this cupcake.

Ms. Davis,

could you perhaps make about

$1000 worth of these cupcakes?

They look amazing.

Actually, Willy made those.

He bakes to relieve the stress.

You bake?

You bake cupcakes.

Your name's Willy?

It's William, okay?

That's all for today.

Thanks very much, Ms. Davis.

Thank you.

Well, uh, you know, anyways,

Willy. What are you

so stressed about?

Oh, I can't imagine.

In any case, I already have

a job to do, so thank you.

Headmaster Sturgeon,

Ms. Scrimmage is here

to see you.

She wants to show you something.

Headmaster Sturgeon?

Hello?

Willy? What are you doing?

Willy?

Quiet and peaceful.

Too peace...

...ful.

William Sturgeon, welcome to

Eat It or Beat It.

I'm your host, Kip Kipperson,

and you've been chosen from

across the country

to compete on live national TV

in our kitchen octagon!

Well, actually,

it's a rectangle. I mean,

a rectangle has four sides

whereas an octagon has eight--

Now, as I'm sure you already

know, Eat It or Beat It

is a live cooking contest

where two amateur chefs

compete for $10,000

and the answer to that age-old

question, who will...

Eat it or beat it!

Yeah,

that's not really a question.

Whatever, man! It rhymes!

Now, Headmaster.

Your students have nominated

your amazing cupcakes.

So let's see if you can beat...

Oh, no, no, no.

...the headmistress of

the Scrimmage Academy

of Education and Awakening,

Eugenia Scrimmage!

No, no, no, no, no.

William, I confess. I was part

of this delightful ruse.

In fact, I was supposed

to bring you here myself,

but for some reason you

weren't in your office.

At any rate,

I don't normally approve

of competitions, or television,

or gluten-based foods like--

Let's do this, Kip.

Yeah!

Well, well, Sturgeon.

Start your ovens!

Is...

That...

Melvin?

Now, let's get a closer look

at Sturgeon and his students'

raw dedication in action!

O'Neal, more flour.

Walton? Eggs.

Hackenschleimer,

stop eating the butter.

Drimsdale, oven, 350.

Celsius, Fahrenheit or Kelvin,

sir?

O'Neal, oven, 350.

I thought that

was a valid question.

Yes. For our

cruelty-free cupcakes,

we substitute

carrot for chocolate,

rice flour for wheat,

tofu for flavor,

and soy milk for happiness.

Cruelty-free.

I think they got it.

Walton, pans.

O'Neal, paper cups.

This is bedlam! This is crazy!

We got people cooking here,

people cooking there,

and what's gonna come of it?

Who's to say?

Probably something delicious,

I tells ya.

I eat all this stuff for months.

I take this home after the shoot

and I just eat it! Look at me!

I am a product of this cooking!

You know what I'm talking about.

Ah-ha-ha!

Hackenschleimer, what did

I say about eating the butter?

It's delicious?

O'Neal, oven status.

O'Neal. O'Neal!

Hey, Bruno!

What are you doing, man?

We have to go finish

the contest.

Dude,

the contest doesn't matter.

We could win $10,000.

How does that not matter?

Please. Dude, the real money

is in the advertising.

Just like NASCAR. Man, you just

get a bunch of businesses

to give you money to wear their

logos in front of cameras.

So if I wear

your company's logo,

you'll give me how much again?

Wow. Uh, okay.

How many zeroes is that?

So the Eat It or Beat It

contest was--

Was just a way

to get cameras here.

As soon as they

announce the winner,

I step out onto stage wearing

my 20 different logos

for all the world to see.

There's no way the girls

are gonna beat us

at fundraising, then.

And any idea how much money

we're gonna make?

$25,000.

Burton,

how did you know that?

In battle, Walton,

information is everything.

Yes, I know it's expensive,

okay?

But if you want

your logo on national TV,

you're gonna pay the same

as everyone else, Mom.

Yes.

This was my idea.

And I got my own sponsors.

Wait a minute!

That's my mom's logo.

I guess she knows a winner

when she sees one.

You know, boys,

this may well be

the finest bunch

of cupcakes I've ever made.

Walton!

Be careful!

Scrimmage girls!

Defend our honor!

♪♪ Going out on the weekend ♪

♪ Front line boys left behind ♪

♪ Never show them

Your weakness ♪

♪ Come on,

Let's see some lines ♪

♪ Two, three, four, charge ♪

♪ If you want to prove you can

Really feel something ♪

♪ This is war ♪

♪ Fight with

Your dancing shoes ♪

♪ Ring the bell and get

Hammered across the floor ♪

♪ Jeans get out of the closet ♪

♪ Freedom can't be denied ♪♪

Serves him right.

He hates vanilla. Ha-ha-ha!

Ladies and gentlemen at home,

I've never seen such savagery

in all my years

of food reporting.

No! No!

No! No! No, my dignity!

My dignity... no...

Get me the listings for all

the Macdonald Hall parents.

All of them.

When we say leadership,

that's not what we mean.

A food fight

on national television?

It's not my fault. I mean,

I was barely involved!

Well, we had a nice chat

with Tom Hartley from York

Academy, and he assures us

that you'll fit in great

when you go there next year.

No. Please. Anything but that.

Uh... Have you seen my website?

Yo, Boots. Man, we have got to

go see The Fish, like pronto.

I don't think it's very--

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. O'Neal.

Good to see you.

I was actually just telling

your son Melvin here

that the headmaster wants

to see us. I'm pretty sure

it is something good.

So ha-ha, A plus.

Our decision is final,

Melvin.

Goodbye, Bruno.

Oh, man.

She totally bought that.

Yo, man.

I have to tell you something.

No, we have no time.

You have to clean up

and I really gotta start

practicing my groveling.

No more fundraising.

That is it.

Sir, with the advertising

money we're over halfway there.

Like, we can't just stop.

If we don't get this pool,

Boots is gone for sure.

By the time you get your pool,

we may not have

any students left.

Apparently Hartley just called

every Macdonald Hall parent,

assuring them that this would

never happen at York Academy.

Oh! Give me...

half an hour

and two dozen cupcakes

and I can make sure this kind of

thing happens at York.

Believe me, sir.

I'm sorry, boys.

I can't risk the

entire school on this.

Pool fund is closed

for the rest of the year.

Look. I know this is

a major disappointment,

but as Macdonald Hall boys,

I expect you

to follow the rules.

So that's it.

Okay? No more fundraising.

No more schemes. Understood?

Understood.

Yeah, understood.

This is not the end.

This is just the beginning.

We need to keep it on the

down-low. We need to be smart.

We need to be organized.

We-- Where's Wilbur?

After Eat It or Beat It,

he went into butter shock.

His parents told him

no more scheming, or else.

Okay, okay.

Well, one man down.

We can handle that.

It's not that big of a deal.

Um, actually,

there's something

I've been meaning

to tell you guys.

I've just been spending so much

time with this project and...

I checked out

my average the other day

and it was an A... minus.

Minus, Bruno!

Minus!

He'll-- He'll be okay.

Uh, Chris?

You know, any ideas?

You're not just gonna

give up too, right?

Bruno, I don't want

to give up.

I am giving up.

Just ruin the show, then.

Just walk away, you know?

Your sponsors should be ashamed.

We're giving you all the money

we earned, aren't we?

That's the least you could do.

You wanna see the most I can do?

Guys! Stop!

This is exactly what got us

here in the first place.

Training tomorrow?

Sure.

No, guys, just wait.

Maybe-- Maybe if I talk

to their parents...

Yeah, parents love me!

Well, yours do, at least.

Bruno, I gotta tell you

something, man.

No. You don't have to say it,

dude. I already know.

You do?

You're worried

I'm giving up on you too.

Dude,

I made a promise to you

and everyone else, okay?

We are getting that pool,

because...

I just came up

with the ultimate idea.

What?

I know you have enough

to worry about with the race

and everything.

So just leave it to me, okay?

I swear I won't let you down.

You're a good friend, Bruno.

No, dude, I'm not good.

I'm the best.

Yeah, man, I'll see you--

See you later?

Yeah.

All right.

Hey! That's ours.

"Property of York Academy."

Doesn't sound like yours.

Actually, we crossed

the Y out with a D, so...

It said "Dork"!

Hey, O'Neal.

Here we are again.

And here's my joke: you suck.

All right!

Let's beat it.

Boots...

What about the team?

Look at the sign.

$5, please.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

Quickly, quickly, quickly,

quickly, quickly. Next!

Your money ready, sir.

I didn't believe it. They told

me, but I didn't believe it.

I know, right?

Dude, I can't believe

we didn't think of this

sooner. It's like...

Okay, look, it's just like you

said. Nobody loves the school

as much as I do, you know?

Not the kids, not the parents

and definitely not the people

driving by every day for free.

Bruno...

you gotta stop this, man.

Guys?

I made $200 in 15 minutes.

But it's illegal!

Guys!

Look. Desperate times call for

desperately flawed schemes.

I'm trying to

save the school, dudes.

Why don't you just trust me?

It's not just about you, Bruno!

Every time you come up with one

of your crazy, wacky schemes,

we're the ones who have to deal

with the consequences,

while you just go ahead

and do something else crazy.

And we've had enough. Enough!

And that...

is the worst Comic Sans font

I've ever seen.

Chris... you talk?!

And you're British?

Guys!

What?

It's The Fish!

Walton!

Scatter, scatter, scatter!

♪♪ Up too late on Saturday

This is what I want ♪

♪ Then I won't go to work

Then I'm gonna get paid ♪

Hi, girls!

Bye girls! Please help.

Omm...

Excuse me, excuse me.

Beg your pardon, ladies.

♪ Kids, they just want to have

Fun, kids just wanna have fun ♪

♪ Kids, they wanna have fun ♪

♪ Kids just wanna have fun

All right! ♪

♪ Well, they go out

To the rock and roll show ♪

♪ Kids just wanna have fun ♪

So this was the plan when

Sturgeon showed up?

Have him catch us?

I'm just trying the best

I could do on my own, dude.

Walton!

O'Neal.

♪ Kids, they just want to have

Fun, kids just wanna have fun ♪

♪ Kids, they wanna have fun ♪

♪ Kids just wanna have fun

Let's go! ♪

Will you stop at nothing

to make me look foolish?

Of course.

♪ Wanna have fun, kids,

They just want to have fun ♪

I think we caught a fish.

♪ They wanna have fun

Kids just wanna have fun ♪♪

Sir, you have to believe us.

This is all our fault.

It's actually true,

Officer. The toll road,

the traffic jam...

I caused it.

Your headmaster's the one

that got caught in the trap,

there, boys. So it's up

to Ms. Scrimmage this time.

Oh, no.

Mr. Sturgeon and I

may have had our difference

in the past,

but there's no need

for any charges.

Good.

Free to go, sir.

I'll just take 'em off.

And as for the traps,

ever since our last

incident with the police,

the girls have become

very security conscious.

I can assure you,

Officer, these boys

will be very

severely dealt with.

William, isn't it

how you dealt with it

last time that led

to all of this?

Is there anything else,

Officer?

Uh-uh. Go ahead.

Thank you.

Uh, Mr. Sturgeon?

I just wanted to say,

um, you got a little...

something. And I just wanted to

make sure that, you know,

this won't affect anything

for the pool. You know,

the plans and everything.

Mostly for the future.

The future?

Yeah.

Oh, there's no future.

Not for the pool,

not for the fundraising.

It's all over.

And as for you two,

you'll both see

what your future holds.

♪♪ Here again ♪

♪ I never thought ♪

♪ It'd be like this again ♪

♪ How could I know it'd be ♪

♪ With you again? ♪

♪ And now we're wasting time ♪

♪ And we're wasting life ♪

♪ As we drive ♪

♪ As we drive ♪

♪ As we drive ♪

We're going to make

French croissants today.

May I use this...

What?

What, Ms. Davis? What?

On my walk over here,

I happened to pass

Bruno and Boots,

soaking wet and exhausted.

Ms. Davis,

this is an administrative

matter.

Please do not concern yourself

with it.

This is not about

the Hall, or some pool,

or even teaching those boys

a lesson anymore.

This is about you

being embarrassed

in front of all those boys

and girls and Ms. Scrimmage.

They broke the rules

and they knew it.

Oh, Willy, come on.

You are punishing those boys

because they care more about the

school than your stupid rules.

That is not

an administrative matter.

That stinks like a fish.

What are you doing?

Does it look like

I'm sleeping?

Because that might give you

a hint.

Nah, dude.

You gotta help me come up with

some more stuff

for this fan site.

Man, I don't have

a website or a fan page,

or whatever. I have a collection

of out-of-focus pictures

with some poorly spelled

motivational quotes.

Dude, these quotes

are awesome. Look.

Look.

"Never forget

where you parked."

What? Come on, man.

Dude, that's good advice.

Besides, man.

If you didn't have me, you

wouldn't even have a fan site.

If it wasn't for you,

I wouldn't be smelling

like garbage and chalk

for the last two weeks.

And, you know,

I never even asked you

to make a fan site.

How am I supposed to sell your

parents if you've just given up?

I have given up, Bruno.

Look, the fan site

hasn't done anything.

The fundraisers, the schemes...

My parents are sending me

to York next year anyway.

Man, it's over.

Wait, what?

Dude...

why didn't you tell me that?

Because you would have just

come up with some crazy new plan

and gotten us into even more

trouble.

Well, shows what you know.

Okay, I didn't know that

and I still came up

with some crazy, insane plan

that got us into a bunch

of trouble.

But you know,

at least I'm trying.

Who cares? We lost!

Like we do against every

swim meet with York.

You know, maybe we should

just accept it.

Maybe winning

really isn't everything.

Do you know who says stuff

like that, Boots? Losers.

Maybe I'd rather be

a loser with friends

than a winner with just you.

Bruno. Yo, wait, man.

I didn't mean that--

No, just, just...

It's not what you did wrong,

okay?

I couldn't be mad

at you or anything

I'm just getting frustrated.

Where are you going?

Just leave me alone!

Oh, my God--

Go get Wilbur.

Thing is, you may not be

entirely responsible for,

you know, the entire

turn of events.

Sometimes it's important to let

an outside party help you see

how you may be using, you know,

your own issues to get in

the way of what's important.

Like your job and,

uh, friendship.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Sir,

are you feeling all right?

I'm trying to say I'm sorry.

Okay?

Headmaster Sturgeon.

Bob Hartley here.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

I won't be a second.

Just heard some rumblings

about your swim team.

Toll road, or some such?

Your concern is very,

very touching, Hartley.

Well, I just wanted to give

you the opportunity

to back out

of next weeks' swim meet.

Ha, ha! I wouldn't want

to cause you any more...

embarrassment.

I want you to listen very,

very carefully

to what I'm about

to say to you, Hartley.

My boys have

never embarrassed me,

or the school, or themselves.

Not once. What they have done

is stood up for Macdonald Hall

with honor, enthusiasm,

and a good spirit

that your boys

would do well to learn.

In fact, the only time

it would embarrass me

is if they didn't

stand up to a bunch

of arrogant,

over-privileged turkeys.

I--

And that's not gonna happen

on my watch.

Goodbye, Hartley!

Shake hands, apologize

and get back to work.

There's a race to win.

Bruno, you know why I didn't

tell you about me going to York?

Sure. You didn't

want me to come up

with some crazy

Bruno scheme, right?

Dude, believe me, I get it.

No, no. It wasn't that.

I didn't want

to tell you because...

because I felt like

I let you down.

You know?

After everything you did for me.

And I'm sorry.

You're a good friend, Boots.

No, I'm not.

I'm the best.

You boys here

to catch round two?

No, of course not.

Why? Should I go

grab some chairs?

Very funny.

It sure is nice to

have the kind of pals

you don't have to be all weird

to and apologize to, eh?

Um...

I'm sorry I brought

so much fun into your lives.

Um...

I'm sorry for not

listening to you guys

and getting you

into all that trouble.

So when do we start

fundraising?

We can't.

The swim meet's next week

and Boots is going to York

unless we help him win.

So let's do it.

Come here, you.

Hey, guys.

You know, you can't have

a proper swim team

without proper

training equipment.

So this friend of yours

went to every school

in the area, picked up all the

scrap equipment she could,

and then needed some help

putting it together.

So how could I say no to someone

so determined, huh?

Thanks...

for sticking with me.

This is sweet.

George! George.

Haven't you been expelled yet?

What were you and Bruno

fighting about anyway?

I'm-- I'm Bruno.

He's Boots.

I don't actually care.

Boots is still going to York

and we still only have

75 grand for our pool.

I-I-I'm sorry. Did you say

you've raised $75,000?

As in seven five?

And we still have

to double it. But like,

how are we supposed to

do that?

And before Boots leaves?

It's impossible.

Bruno,

you don't like me

and frankly, I don't like you.

But there's one thing

we both love.

Animals dressed

in doctor outfits?

No.

Money.

Now what if I told you

I could help double

yours within a week.

Okay...

Follow me.

It's totally brilliant.

It is insanely complicated,

but it might just work.

We can't do it.

Okay, hold up, bro.

I don't think we should do this.

Espe--

Oh. Wait. We can't?

Any plan I come up with

just gets you guys

into a bunch of trouble

and honestly,

I don't really want to do that

to you guys anymore.

That's...

mature... of you.

Are you feeling okay, buddy?

We can do this.

Guys, I told you. I'm done

with coming up with--

This isn't about you,

Bruno.

It's about the Hall.

We got this.

We don't got this. Like, no.

You don't understand

what's going on--

Yo, we got this, man.

Clean yourself.

Yeah, okay.

So you're sure about this York

Academy Gold Club, George?

My friend,

there are rich kids

and then there are rich kids.

Not a scratch.

Bruno, Cathy.

Allow me to introduce you

to Randolph Mortimer

Winthorpe the Seventh.

Or is it the Eighth?

Who can keep track?

George, never got

a chance to congratulate you

on that Lorelai IPO. Good tip.

Thank you, Randolph. I'm sorry

you didn't take my advice.

So is my portfolio.

I'm interested in something

a little more... underground.

Never took you for the

underground sort, George.

Are you sure?

Well, it isn't my money.

It's theirs.

These aren't your porters?

Uh, 40,000 from the students

at Macdonald Hall.

And 35 from the girls

at the Scrimmage Academy.

They want to bet it--

And all of it--

On the swim meet today.

Who let them have money?

Well, I think

it's just adorable.

But we need the cash on hand

before we can place any bets.

It is on its way.

All right,

it's safe to move now.

That was a long morning.

Sorry.

Are you sure about these guys?

I'm sorry,

but no money, no betting.

That's okay. I heard the Gold

Club's not the most exclusive

secret private school

club anyways.

Did you know the girls

at the Havermore College

have a dodo bird exhibit?

Oh, really?

How would you like

to see a live dodo bird?

We gotta go.

Joan,

the last time I went out

for lunch I got hit

by a flying cupcake. I'm just

going to stay right here.

She was supposed

to leave for lunch!

What do we do now?

Is that a rope ladder?

I'll go. You guys stay clear.

Take this for the road.

Tell the world my story.

Go, buddy, go!

Arnold.

You know you don't have to race

if you're having

an asthma attack, right?

I'm fine.

See?

Anyways, it's like you said.

Never, ever give up.

Was that before or after

you totally gave up?

Okay, yeah.

I deserved that one

and what are you doing here?

Independent study. Maybe I'll

put the footage on your website.

Should it go in

the "winningocity" section,

or under "superbulence"?

Ha-ha. You can

put it under the

"sometimes I'm a jerk,

but I'm trying" section.

Thanks for sticking with us.

I already told you.

I know, I know.

It wasn't for me.

It was for the team.

I get it.

Well, maybe it was

a little bit for you.

But like I said,

that's my business.

This is from Picasso's little

known Killer Robots period.

I'm with Bruno! Bruno Walton!

Were you worried?

Not one bit.

I should probably be suspicious

of your burglar outfit,

but I'll just do what all

Winthorpes have done,

historically, and turn

a blind eye for profit.

Give the money here.

Uh, you know what, guys?

We could stick to the plan

and bet all this money, or

we could use it on this

incredibly complicated scheme

I just came up with right now.

I swear it's--

It's actually pretty good.

Right, right, right.

Okay, sorry.

Well, shall we?

Go, go, go!

Go Macdonald!

Towels? Towels? Hey, guys.

Coach Flynn?

Actually, it's...

Assistant Towel

Supervisor Flynn now.

But they're telling me that

I'm gonna be all the way up to

full Towel Supervisor soon.

So...

I made a terrible mistake.

I'll just be...

doing this over here.

This is usually where the

coach says something inspiring,

but considering how

that usually went...

You know, everyone says that

winning isn't everything.

I mean, I used to think that was

just something The Fish

would say to us, because...

well... we never won anything.

Ugh.

Look. But now, I think it means

a race is just a race.

You know? If you win,

it feels good.

Really good.

Really, really good.

Or so they tell me.

And we all know,

if you lose, it feels bad.

For a while.

But what lasts?

What lasts is the friends

you didn't expect to make.

And the things they do for you

that they didn't have to,

even when it was risky.

It's finding out just how much

people believe in you,

even when you didn't

believe in yourself.

So,

I guess the dumb

saying was right.

It really isn't

winning that matters.

It's everything else that

happens along the way.

Oh, and boys...

one more thing.

Swim real fast.

Swimmers,

please take your positions.

Go Boots! Woo!

Come on. Go Boots!

Go Boots! Got it!

Come on!

Turn around.

Come on, go back!

Go back! You got it!

Go Boots! Go Boots!

Swim like a fish! Come on!

Come on!

Yeah, Boots!

Ohh!

Ahh!

Did you see it?

I-I-I don't know who won.

Yes! Fourth place!

Fourth, baby!

Woo-hoo!

After much deliberation,

the three-member judges' panel

unanimously finds

for the winner...

York Academy!

Congratulations.

Thanks, Dad.

Good work, son.

You'll get it at home.

Good race.

Yeah. Woo! Macdonald Hall, baby.

Woo!

We're finished.

Me, Boots, everything. It's--

Bruno.

We lost all our money

and now we're never gonna get

this pool

and the Hall's gonna close

and everyone will blame me

and Chip's right.

We're just a bunch of losers.

Bruno! Look around you.

Whether you got the pool or not,

you made everybody here

a part of something.

You won, Bruno. You won.

What are you doing here?

Uh, moping and feeling

sorry for myself.

I mean, yeah, sure.

I learned something and we won

some sort of moral victory,

but you know, it's kind of

hard to swim in.

Uh-huh.

That's all very fascinating,

but who do I make

the check out to?

What check?

The check for...

let's see here...

$151,000.

What are you

talking about, George?

We... we lost.

Oh, I guess I didn't tell you.

I bet our money against

Macdonald Hall.

What? How could you?

Do you have any

idea how many times

Macdonald Hall has won

a swim race against York?

Zero.

Now, the school

might be used to losing.

I am not.

I bet against us and I won.

Bruno, I was wondering

if you knew where your--

Easy, easy, Bruno! Come on.

It's not his fault.

No, no, no! He did it!

He got us the money

for the pool!

We lost, but sir,

we won.

What are you talking about?

What did you do, Smythe?

Sir, it's not my fault.

It's his!

He did it too.

It wasn't just George, sir.

It was all of us.

Chris, Wilbur, Elmer,

and the Scrimmage girls.

They helped too.

We-- We did it together.

Because... well...

I guess people do love this

school as much as I do.

So you're saying

whatever you did,

you all did this together.

Hmm?

Yeah. Exactly.

That is absolutely...

remarkable.

Well done.

Buddy! We heard

about the race.

Yeah. You know,

I'm okay. I'm fine.

You're more than okay.

You're wonderful!

But I lost.

Yes,

but we watched the speech that

you gave to your teammates.

You did? How?

Well, that friend

of yours, Bruno,

has been harassing us

to see some website

for a few weeks now.

We finally did

and your speech was there.

Buddy, you know how we were

talking about leadership?

You know, what you said to

those boys, that was it!

So maybe we were a little

hasty about York Academy.

You mean I--

Yo! Boots, dude!

We got the pool!

We got the pool!

We just need to convince your

folks, but I have a plan.

We need three car batteries,

ah, four car batteries,

two ducks, paper clips--

Hey, hey, hey!

My mom wants to talk to you.

You win, Bruno.

Melvin can stay.

Awesome!

Uh, who's Melvin?

Bruno, it's me!

I can stay!

Dude, I told you!

Your parents love me.

So Boots can stay?

Everyone-- Everyone can stay.

Oh, my God!

Let's tighten up, guys.

All right, hold on.

Before the opening ceremonies

this afternoon,

I want to say a few words.

Uh... it's been quite a year.

Quite a journey.

But as a wise man once said,

"A journey is best measured not

in miles, but in friends."

We are standing in

this pool today because

of two such friends,

whose love for this school has

been an inspiration to us all.

So thank you to everyone,

but thank you especially

to Bruno and Boots

for unselfishly providing

generations of Macdonald Hall

and Scrimmage Academy

students the privilege

of sharing the--

Oh, dear.

The Cathy Burton Wexford Estate

Macdonald Hall

Sturgeon Memorial By-Centennial

Aquatic Facility and

Pooladium Esquire.

Congrats, guys.

Well done.

Okay, picture.

What's this for?

Oh, it's like...

Well, to say thanks for

putting my name on the pool.

Oh, also, fair's fair.

You never got the honor

of the first swim, Bruno.

I don't even know how to swim.

Oh.

Whoa!

Are you serious?

What are you waiting for?

Go jump in the pool!

Oh, no, no.

No, no.

So that's Macdonald Hall.

Best school in the country.

Best headmaster,

best students, best pool...

best friends.

Sorry. I completely looked

at the camera for that shot.

We're gonna have to--

Who? You looked at who?

Cal!

I looked. I'm sorry!

We've been best friends

since the "sirst"--

Blech. Blech. ♪♪♪

♪♪ Summer nights when

The stars are out ♪

♪ Reminds me of you

And my hometown ♪

♪ I remember how it used to be

Not a care in the world ♪

♪ Never felt so free

But tonight here we are again ♪

♪ In the backyard now

With all my friends ♪

♪ I lean back, put my hands in

The sky, let's do it all again

♪

♪ And I'm like na, na, na ♪

♪ Never want this night to end

I'm singin' ♪

♪ Na, na, na ♪

♪ Never want this night to end

Here's to the ♪

♪ Good times we've had

Makin' memories ♪

♪ To the heartbreaks

We've shared ♪

♪ You were there for me

Don't wanna say goodbye ♪

♪ This is the time of my life ♪

♪ To the good times,

Good times ♪

♪ I won't forget this night ♪

♪ Oh, whoa ♪

♪ Oh, whoa ♪

♪ Oh, uh ♪

♪ Ain't nowhere else

That I'd rather be ♪

♪ Than right here with you

Right next to me ♪

♪ I don't know what the future

Holds, five years from now ♪

♪ Will I still be broke? ♪

♪ Let's walk down

To the riverside ♪

♪ Chill out in the grass,

Watch a new sunrise ♪

♪ Lean back, put my hands

In the sky, let's do it ♪

♪ All again

And I'm like na, na, na ♪

♪ Never want this night

To end ♪

♪ Here's to the good times

We've had ♪

♪ Makin' memories

To the heartbreaks ♪

♪ We've shared

You were there for me ♪

♪ Don't wanna say goodbye ♪

♪ This is the time of my life ♪

♪ To the good times, good times

I won't forget this night ♪

♪ Na, na, na

Never want this night to end ♪

♪ I'm singin' na, na, na ♪

♪ Never want this night

To end ♪

♪ Don't wanna say goodbye

This is the time of my life ♪

♪ To the good times, good times

I won't forget this night ♪♪