All language subtitles for locked_up_abroad_s04e03_tokyo

This is almost a foolproof plan.

You're interested, you can do this with
me and you can get $5 ,000.

All of a sudden I start to feel
something's wrong.

I'm freaking high right now and I'm
going to go through security in Nepal.

I was becoming an international drug
smuggler.

Only it doesn't last forever.

You have no idea what's going on.

There are guards with guns everywhere.

They're going to pull me aside and
that's it. End of the road.

This is it for me.

What am I going to do now?

I grew up in Los Angeles, California.

My parents raised me kind of
unconventionally. They were more of the

generation.

There was a lot of freedom and not a lot
of discipline.

You really didn't know when you were
going to have dinner, you know, what

you were going to go to bed that night.

So we had to fend for ourselves.

So there were definitely times they
weren't there for us because they were

It wreaked a lot of havoc on us as
children.

What I really craved was that sense of
stability that you get from being

directed by your parents, someone who
could help me be a better person and

what my choices are for the future.

And there just really wasn't any of that
in my life.

When I was 21 years old, my luck
changed.

I was offered a job through a friend at
a nightclub in Beverly Hills.

So I'm working in the nightclub.

And a girl who worked with me asked if I
would be interested in going to Japan.

I was like, wow.

I'd always wanted to travel abroad.

I didn't know this girl very well.

If I did make this decision and commit
to this, I'm really taking a leap of

faith and putting myself out there.

But at the same time, the feelings I was
having at home were stark and somber,

and I was still depressed, and I needed
something.

I thought about it and decided

I'm going to go for this.

Right after that, it all happened very
quickly.

Within two weeks of me making the
decision to go, I was actually getting

plane to Japan.

that it was cold and kind of dark.

It was very different from anything I'd
ever seen.

The Japanese people were mysterious.

I start work the first night I get
there.

We would mix their drinks for them,
light their cigarettes and be an ear to

listen to.

You know, you didn't quite know what
they were thinking.

It took quite a while for me to fit into
that and feel comfortable.

I get off work one night and I'm walking
down the street headed home and these

two Israeli guys are selling imitation
bags and wallets on the street.

And as I walk by, they're like, hey, how
are you?

And they introduce themselves.

I'm Ronnie.

I'm Yoram.

We talked for what seemed like two
hours, sitting in lawn

chairs on the street there.

So we became fast friends.

It felt really, really comfortable.

So I'm sitting there one day and Yoram
and I are talking and he says, how would

you like to go to Nepal with me?

And I said, oh, Nepal, how great would
that be?

And he says, also, by the way, I

am going to be bringing back some hash.

And I'm like, wow, smuggling hash, huh?

He says, yeah, yeah, of course. But he
says, you know, we swallow it.

It's in your tummy. It's impossible to
be caught.

It's almost a foolproof plan.

He says, you know, if you're interested,
you could do this with me and you can

get $5 ,000.

Interesting.

I'm, you know, thinking this over in my
head.

But I really don't think that I could do
something like this.

He says,

look, you can come with me and you can
decide later. But enjoy myself in the

meantime on a vacation.

So I thought, okay, I'll do this.

Little did I know that this journey was
going to change my life forever.

When we arrived in Nepal, it was
awesome. Completely different from

It was so colorful.

Things I'd never seen before.

There's a million things going on.

There were cows roaming in the streets.

I had the time of my life. It was great.

This trip made me feel like I needed to
get out there. I needed to see the rest

of the world. It was really exciting.

We've been in the hotel about a week,
and Yoram comes home, and he's picked up

his stash.

Look what I just found.

And he says, hey, Jackie, why don't you
try and swallow a pellet of this hash

and see how it feels?

I really had to think it through.

I guess I could try one.

Okay. Okay.

He takes a soft ball of hash, rolls it
in his hand.

He takes a saran wrap, and he wrapped it
and sealed the end with a lighter so

that it would close off air getting in
it or anything coming out.

I put my head back.

It's kind of sitting there, and I grab
another sip of water to wash it down.

Comes right back up.

This is really difficult to do.

So I give it another try.

I'm able to get it down.

I was thinking, maybe I could do this.

So what do you say?

Yoram assured me the only way of getting
caught is perhaps getting sick, but it

never... happens, really.

And I'd have a lot of extra money, and I
could, you know, travel a little bit

more.

So I thought, okay, I'm in.

So we went to get the drugs.

We go to the edge of town.

And he says, okay, just keep it cool and
follow my lead.

But what I didn't know was that this was
going to become my biggest nightmare.

We go to the edge of town.

He's taking me in to meet the dealer.

There's this woman sitting behind this
wood table, and there's two guys

in the corners.

I'm really nervous.

You have no idea what's going on.

I'm looking behind me. I can still feel
it right now. It was scary.

Jackie, this is Mama Sam.

You just weren't sure of her. She would
smile, but the eyes were telling you

something else.

I didn't trust the situation at all.

So we give Mamasan the order, and she
leaves the room, kind of freaked out

these guys in the corners, not knowing
if they're going to pull a gun out or

not.

She comes back in, Jorm hands her the
money, and I'm buying a half a kilo for

$125, which is, like, unheard of and
unbelievable.

I'm standing to make $5 ,000.

Once we got back to the hotel, we had 24
hours to wrap the drugs and get on the

plane.

Just grueling.

Hours of wrapping.

It's just one pellet after the other.

Burning my fingers with the lighter.

You know, this work is ridiculous.

Finally, Yoram and I are ready to
swallow.

We have five hours before we need to get
on the plane.

It was a really intense process.

I kept throwing them up, and when I'd
throw them up, I'd have to go into the

bathroom and wash them off and try and
re -swallow them again.

And I'm like, oh, this is terrible.

Why am I doing this?

This is disgusting.

Eating one pellet was easy, but eating
hundreds of them was nearly impossible.

Was able to swallow about 350 grams I
couldn't do it any longer after that

The minute I

walked out of the door I thought that
everybody knew that I was smuggling

So Yarm and I got to the airport and we
decided to split up.

If one of us got caught, we didn't want
the other one to get caught.

I was scared to death.

There are guards with guns everywhere.

I'm completely on edge.

I'm just looking straight at the guard,
and I just want to get through the

security check.

Handle yourself, Jackie. Stay under
control.

Don't mess up.

All of a sudden, I start to feel
something's wrong.

I start to feel lightheaded.

And I'm like, what the hell is this?

And before I know it, I feel like I'm
stoned.

At that point, I realized that in
wrapping those pellets, I had never

hands in between.

I had never taken care of the hash oil
that was on my hands from rolling them

into pellets.

I couldn't believe it. I thought, how
stupid. I said, I am high.

I'm freaking high right now, and I'm
going to go through security in Nepal.

I can see that people are looking at me,
and I'm not feeling good at all.

I'm starting to sweat.

I'm starting to shake.

It's almost too much for me.

I'm going to pass out.

And I know that they can tell I'm high.
They've got to be able to see it. And if

they see that I'm high, there's no way
they're going to let me through here.

They're going to pull me aside, and
that's it.

End of the road.

This is it for me.

I'm scared at this point. I'm really,
really scared.

The paranoia starts getting to me.

I went into the bathroom. I needed cold
water on my face.

I'm looking in the mirror. My eyes are
bloodshot. And I'm like, what have I

done? What am I doing?

So I took a deep breath, and I calmed
myself down.

And I'm thinking to myself, I'm not
going to get caught.

Okay, so I'm in line for security check.
I talk myself into being calm.

So I get up to the guard, and he asked
me, I'm going back to Japan.

And what was your stay in Nepal for? And
I said, it was purely enjoyment.

He said, all right, thank you very much.

And I walked through.

And at that moment, I was like, oh, my
God.

That was one of the most intense moments
of my entire life.

I'll never forget it.

We get on, and now I need to figure out,
you know, how I'm going to make it to

customs in Japan.

So I land in Tokyo.

I walk to the customs store.

I'm thinking, once I'm through this,
it's over.

I got through it. I couldn't believe it.

I just started laughing.

laughing with a huge smile on my face
because once you're through, you're

through. I couldn't believe I had made
it through all of that and that I was

going to be okay.

The thrill that you get from going
through something like that was amazing,

almost like none other. It's a super
rush.

We started coming up with ways that we
thought we could do it without

it. I've got the best idea.

It just had to be in places that when
you got patted down, they wouldn't feel

it.

I realized I could put it in my bra. I
wouldn't be first there.

Another place we discovered was under
the belt.

Shoes weren't checked.

I realized I could take quite a bit in
each shoe.

So we were able to pretty much put a
kilo on each one of us.

It was like a piece of cake.

And then there was another trip after
that that was successful.

I was becoming an international drug
smuggler.

Not many people can say that.

It's not easy, and you do have to be
smart, and you need to be able to take

risks.

Big, big risks.

Yoram and I have known each other now
for eight months.

You know, we've had a great relationship
from the beginning. We were buddies,

like partners in crime.

He had my back, I had his.

So I was really surprised when Yoram
betrayed me.

Yoram and I had just gotten back from
our last trip from Nepal, and Yoram, as

usual, would go and take the drugs to
the dealer and come back with the money.

So I waited as they always do for him.

24 hours goes by, and I haven't heard
anything from him.

He comes back.

Sorry, I got distracted.

He gives me my money.

And it's missing a third of it.

This isn't enough. There's a third of
this is missing.

I think he was feeling a little
entitled.

Look, I got you into this in the first
place. And why should I get half of the

money for bringing back half of this
stuff?

I would...

disgusted at the way he was acting and
hurt. I was really hurt.

I started an argument with him.

We're supposed to be friends here. I
don't understand.

This is not right.

What are you doing?

How can you just turn on me like this?

Please. I mean, I, I, I, you know, I
need this money. I need this money.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'll go get your money.

So I thought, all right, you know.

I got through to him.

So I let him go.

But he never came back.

And I never heard from him again.

I mean, it was really a very sad moment.

Ultimately, that's where drug dealing
gets you.

You know, you become a little too
greedy, and you want more and more and

So now that Yoram's out of my life, this
big absence and void is there in a

sense of my travel partner. He's gone.

My visa's going to run out in two
months, and I'm just not sure how I'm

about going home.

I wanted to go back to America in style.
I wanted a nice car and a nice

apartment.

I thought if I did this with Yoram and
we were successful, why don't I just go

ahead and make a trip back for myself?

I know the plan.

I know where to get it.

I know how to smuggle it.

I'm thinking, what could go wrong?

I decided I was going to make one last
trip.

I met Mama Son, and this time I was
fairly confident.

Have you got the stuff?

I asked for two kilos, which is the most
I'd ever gotten.

I pick it up, and I feel it, and it's,
like, hard.

And I'm like, whoa.

This isn't the same stuff. This is hard.

This is way too hard.

No, these are good.

No, it's not good.

See, if the half is hard, I can't mold
it into my shoe. I can't cut it out

because it'll break apart.

I can't use that. What am I supposed to
do?

Listen, you need to get me something
good.

Come on. I need this to happen. You need
to make this happen.

I'll be back tomorrow.

And I stormed out.

She knew I meant business, but what am I
going to do, really?

Pull a gun out?

So the next day, I came back.

And she had it.

And I was like a sigh of relief. Oh,
man, I can't believe this. I was really

happy. It's all calm. It's all good now.

It's all good.

So I get back to my motel room.

I do the shoes.

I do the belt. But this time I've got
500 more grams than I usually take on

one trip.

This is a bit much. I'm really pushing
it, but this is my last trip. This is

I figure I'll transfer through Japan and
go straight to America.

Hi. Hi.

I get to the airport and get up to the
ticket counter to check in, and the lady

takes my ticket and gives it back and
tells me I have the wrong day.

I fly out tomorrow.

What do you mean I'm flying out
tomorrow?

That's what your ticket says.

I just can't believe I've missed.

Everything by a day. I mean, where was
my head?

I mean, how stupid.

It's for tomorrow, not for today.

They're looking at me like I'm crazy,
but I'm like, look, I've lost a day

somewhere. You know, I start getting a
little nervous and I start getting a

little loud.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

I don't understand.

I'm like, can you just, you know,
arrange a standby for me? I can't do

today, so you have to come tomorrow. I
have flown this airline many, many

So I'm making all this commotion.

Everything's pretty tense.

The guards there got guns on them.

So they come over to where I'm standing,
and then I'm like, okay, you know,

maybe I better calm down.

Look, can you at least get a manager for
me, please?

I can try. Can you wait for a moment?

A manager comes out.

And he says, come over here to this room
and we'll discuss it.

I'm thinking at this point, I've got two
kilos of hash on me.

All they have to do is search me and
that's it. I'm done. I'm busted.

It's wrong day.

Yes, I know. I know I missed my day. I'm
sorry. This guy starts to question me,

and I realize he's definitely not a
manager.

They want to know why I'm in the airport
on the wrong day.

How could you have missed your day?

Who misses their day on a flight?

Didn't you check your ticket?

I got it mixed up because... I'm shaking
just even talking about it.

I've got these two guards standing right
over me.

I'm sure the next step is going to be a
frisk.

And that's going to be it.

I've had so much on my mind. I didn't
set my clock back, so I wasn't on the

correct time.

I'm so nervous at this point. This is a
big deal.

He ended up believing me.

that I had lost the time of day, but I
need to keep it straight the next time

because this kind of stuff is
suspicious.

So they let me go.

So I go to a hotel.

Whoa, man, I'm still nervous. I'm still
reeling because I had never been in that

situation before in any of my travels.

I'm like, whoa, man, I got to smoke a
little bit to calm down.

I take my shoe off and I take a piece
out. I roll the joint and I smoke it and

relax and I'm trying to calm myself
down.

I really contemplated maybe leaving this
behind.

I thought, you know, is this worth it?

I've almost just gotten myself into big
trouble.

And I'm carrying more now than I ever
have.

But then I thought again about how much
I can make.

Bringing this stuff back to America, I
knew that I could sell it for $15 a gram

and make $5 more than I was in Japan.

With two kilos, I could stand to gain
$30 ,000 on this trip.

$30 ,000.

I decided to continue on and take the
risk.

So the next day I get up and I'm ready
to go. I've got a fresh attitude.

No more mistakes, Jackie.

I've gone through check -in so I get in
line for security.

They're patting these people down quite
heavily.

I've not really seen that before.

I'm thinking to myself, my God.

Really, what am I thinking?

I've got to get rid of this.

Beeline for the bathroom.

I then take the two pieces that are
there on top of what I usually carry.

I can't flush it down the toilet because
it could plug it up and get caught, and

the blocks are too big, so I stuck them
in the trash can, and I was on my way.

No looking back.

So it was my turn, and I step up to
security.

I'm sweating a little bit. I think she
can smell this fear on me.

She asked me to put my hands up, and she
pats me down on the front.

She stares me straight in the face.

And she said, you can go.

Oh, my God, I got through it. I couldn't
believe it. I was like, dang, you're

good, Jackie.

I wish I hadn't left that 500 grams in
the bathroom.

I arrive in Japan at 5 .30 in the
morning, and it's empty.

There's really nobody around, and I need
to find the transfer area because I

need to catch my next flight.

So I'm looking at the signs. I can't
really read anything. There isn't a sign

that says transfer.

I'm really lost. Which way do I go? So I
go down one corridor, and I'm not sure

about that. So I go down another
corridor.

And I finally see two pilots coming down
from the ends. And I'm like, I'm

looking for a transfer flight. And I
don't know which way the transfer area

I don't want to go through customs. I
want to go to transfer.

And they said, oh, transfer.

And they pointed to two double doors at
the end of the hall.

You know, I didn't really question it.
They worked there. They said transfer.

I figured we were understanding the same
thing.

So I push through these big doors.

I walk in and I realize at that moment
I'm in customs.

I've got to get out of here.

And I turn around and the doors are just
slamming shut.

And my heart sinks.

Hello?

What am I going to do now?

At this point, I don't have time to be
nervous.

I have got to go straight up and talk to
these guys and see what I can do to go

through transfer area.

I walk up to the customs officer and I
said, I've just made my way into

He told me that I could come this way to
transfer my flight.

He said, well, you're in the customs
area now. That means you need to go

customs.

Can we just please check your bag?

At that point, I was like, okay, I'm not
going to start an argument.

I already know where that got me, and
that's the last thing I need to do.

I regained my composure.

He started going through my bag,
clothes.

My radio, none of this is going to get
me in trouble. I'm feeling confident.

You know, I've got it on my body.

They aren't going to pat me down because
that's not what they do in customs.

So I'm keeping my cool. I'm feeling okay
about this.

And then he reaches down into the side
packet on the bag.

And he pulls out.

A piece of hash that I had smoked the
night before and

I had not put back into my shoes.

I knew immediately that I was busted.

My heart dropped to the floor. This
feeling.

is like no other feeling.

What is it?

Chocolate.

He immediately put it up, had the
inspectors come over.

They got the test tube out and took this
piece and put it in the test tube.

It immediately turned bright red.

I knew that was it.

I had all of this stuff on me, and there
was no way they weren't going to check

me. I couldn't get out of this one.

They walked me into the side room and
sat me down and immediately called in

the officers that were on duty.

I was in shock and disbelief that this
had happened.

Thinking back, I knew I'd screwed up
because I got too confident.

How stupid could I have been?

Do you have any more?

Don't.

I knew I could be searched and I didn't
want them touching me.

I pulled it right out of my bra and set
it on the table, and they looked

shocked.

And they were just laughing.

They thought it was funny.

I was humiliated and, you know, really
embarrassed.

I was taken to the airport jail.

There was me and three other girls in
there.

I didn't think I was going to be able to
handle this.

I felt really alone.

I needed someone who really cared about
me to be there, and it was impossible.

I was 21 years old. I had the rest of my
life ahead of me. I had no idea.

what was going to happen next.

I didn't even know the worst was yet to
come.

I couldn't believe that I got five years
in jail.

It was a hard blow.

I realized I was on my own now in a
foreign country and I needed to be

for myself.

Prison was a really clinical type
environment.

You couldn't interact with any
prisoners.

You pretty much kept to yourself.

I didn't speak to anyone for what seemed
like months and months.

We weren't allowed to lean or sleep or,
you know, even sit

back against the wall. This was all
forbidden.

You basically could sit Indian style or
in Japanese position on your knees.

All day long.

That was it.

They have this guard that walked by the
cells every six minutes.

I hated her, and she wouldn't leave me
alone. She was on me.

Every time she passed by, I would look
at

her and call out her name, Snake.

This anger that I was feeling inside
myself, I took it out on her.

So I was angry, and one day, I
completely lost it.

I'm in the bathroom, and I'm taking a
couple of tubs of water to shampoo my

hair. You're allowed three.

So I do the first one, I shampoo my
hair, take the second one, I take a

And then I go in for a fourth because I
haven't got the shampoo out of my hair.

And the guards, the snake behind me, I
hear her yell out, Dummy!

No, no, you can't do that. No, you
better stop that now.

And so, you know what? Just hearing her
made me angry.

So I kept going.

I have so much rage inside me. I'm so
upset.

Dummy! Now, I can't take someone yelling
dame to me one more time.

I just can't take it. So I keep going,
and I keep putting the pails of water on

my head, and she's screaming even louder
and more intense, dame, dame, no, no,

you can't do that, no.

And I just kept going, and she kept
yelling, and finally she grabs me by the

and pulls me back, and I just got up in
a rage.

I started beating my head on the wall.

I started beating my hands and my head
on the wall.

And I just started screaming and
screaming.

It was so intense.

I had never felt something so intense in
my whole life. Then the rage I was

feeling from the system, from being told
what to do every minute of every day.

They were breaking me down.

They were trying to break me down.

They put me in solitary confinement for
two weeks.

I remember looking into this black dot
that was on the wall.

I would disappear into that hole and
kind of come back and not know where I

gone.

And for me, that was really scary. I
felt like if I go into that hole, I

never... come out.

I was starting to question my sanity.

They had brought me to such a low level.

I felt that there was nowhere to go but
up.

It felt like they had broken me.

In a way, that was good, because the
conformity and the rules and the

that I needed to get through life, I
mean, that's really what I was missing

my childhood.

And it was so odd that it came together
this way in prison.

I changed my attitude completely around.

I started volunteering to do laundry and
clean up after dinner was over.

I was learning and becoming a different
person.

It was good for me.

In the middle of that, I realized that
all my rebellion and all my anger came

from being mad at my mom.

I blamed her for not being there when I
was a child. She didn't teach me right

from wrong.

She didn't teach me to respect
authority.

So I decided to write to my mom, and my
first letter was really difficult.

At that point I realized, you know,
she's a human being and human beings

mistakes.

You know, we all mess up.

I messed up.

I remember getting the letter back from
her telling me how much She loved me and

that she's sorry.

And that from this moment on, she was
going to take care of me.

I think that's what really got me
through my time in jail.

She was finally there for me.

I was released without warning the day
before Christmas.

I was free.

I was going to be able to live my life
again.

I couldn't believe it.

It was the most exciting time.

When I came home, my parents met me at
the airport, and just like she had said,

her arms were wide open, and I just ran
right into them.

It had been such a long time that for me
there was an...

a greater feeling than knowing that she
was back into my life and that she was

ready to be there for me.

It was really wonderful.

The experience changed me as a whole
person.

I've lost a lot of that anger that I was
holding on to.

My relationship with my mother now is
very, very strong.

I finally realized what it was like to
have a close -knit family and stability.

I think that that's all I really wanted
all along.