Original subtitles

This is almost a foolproof plan.

You're interested, you can do this with me and you can get $5 ,000.

All of a sudden I start to feel something's wrong.

I'm freaking high right now and I'm going to go through security in Nepal.

I was becoming an international drug smuggler.

Only it doesn't last forever.

You have no idea what's going on.

There are guards with guns everywhere.

They're going to pull me aside and that's it. End of the road.

This is it for me.

What am I going to do now?

I grew up in Los Angeles, California.

My parents raised me kind of unconventionally. They were more of the

generation.

There was a lot of freedom and not a lot of discipline.

You really didn't know when you were going to have dinner, you know, what

you were going to go to bed that night.

So we had to fend for ourselves.

So there were definitely times they weren't there for us because they were

It wreaked a lot of havoc on us as children.

What I really craved was that sense of stability that you get from being

directed by your parents, someone who could help me be a better person and

what my choices are for the future.

And there just really wasn't any of that in my life.

When I was 21 years old, my luck changed.

I was offered a job through a friend at a nightclub in Beverly Hills.

So I'm working in the nightclub.

And a girl who worked with me asked if I would be interested in going to Japan.

I was like, wow.

I'd always wanted to travel abroad.

I didn't know this girl very well.

If I did make this decision and commit to this, I'm really taking a leap of

faith and putting myself out there.

But at the same time, the feelings I was having at home were stark and somber,

and I was still depressed, and I needed something.

I thought about it and decided

I'm going to go for this.

Right after that, it all happened very quickly.

Within two weeks of me making the decision to go, I was actually getting

plane to Japan.

that it was cold and kind of dark.

It was very different from anything I'd ever seen.

The Japanese people were mysterious.

I start work the first night I get there.

We would mix their drinks for them, light their cigarettes and be an ear to

listen to.

You know, you didn't quite know what they were thinking.

It took quite a while for me to fit into that and feel comfortable.

I get off work one night and I'm walking down the street headed home and these

two Israeli guys are selling imitation bags and wallets on the street.

And as I walk by, they're like, hey, how are you?

And they introduce themselves.

I'm Ronnie.

I'm Yoram.

We talked for what seemed like two hours, sitting in lawn

chairs on the street there.

So we became fast friends.

It felt really, really comfortable.

So I'm sitting there one day and Yoram and I are talking and he says, how would

you like to go to Nepal with me?

And I said, oh, Nepal, how great would that be?

And he says, also, by the way, I

am going to be bringing back some hash.

And I'm like, wow, smuggling hash, huh?

He says, yeah, yeah, of course. But he says, you know, we swallow it.

It's in your tummy. It's impossible to be caught.

It's almost a foolproof plan.

He says, you know, if you're interested, you could do this with me and you can

get $5 ,000.

Interesting.

I'm, you know, thinking this over in my head.

But I really don't think that I could do something like this.

He says,

look, you can come with me and you can decide later. But enjoy myself in the

meantime on a vacation.

So I thought, okay, I'll do this.

Little did I know that this journey was going to change my life forever.

When we arrived in Nepal, it was awesome. Completely different from

It was so colorful.

Things I'd never seen before.

There's a million things going on.

There were cows roaming in the streets.

I had the time of my life. It was great.

This trip made me feel like I needed to get out there. I needed to see the rest

of the world. It was really exciting.

We've been in the hotel about a week, and Yoram comes home, and he's picked up

his stash.

Look what I just found.

And he says, hey, Jackie, why don't you try and swallow a pellet of this hash

and see how it feels?

I really had to think it through.

I guess I could try one.

Okay. Okay.

He takes a soft ball of hash, rolls it in his hand.

He takes a saran wrap, and he wrapped it and sealed the end with a lighter so

that it would close off air getting in it or anything coming out.

I put my head back.

It's kind of sitting there, and I grab another sip of water to wash it down.

Comes right back up.

This is really difficult to do.

So I give it another try.

I'm able to get it down.

I was thinking, maybe I could do this.

So what do you say?

Yoram assured me the only way of getting caught is perhaps getting sick, but it

never... happens, really.

And I'd have a lot of extra money, and I could, you know, travel a little bit

more.

So I thought, okay, I'm in.

So we went to get the drugs.

We go to the edge of town.

And he says, okay, just keep it cool and follow my lead.

But what I didn't know was that this was going to become my biggest nightmare.

We go to the edge of town.

He's taking me in to meet the dealer.

There's this woman sitting behind this wood table, and there's two guys

in the corners.

I'm really nervous.

You have no idea what's going on.

I'm looking behind me. I can still feel it right now. It was scary.

Jackie, this is Mama Sam.

You just weren't sure of her. She would smile, but the eyes were telling you

something else.

I didn't trust the situation at all.

So we give Mamasan the order, and she leaves the room, kind of freaked out

these guys in the corners, not knowing if they're going to pull a gun out or

not.

She comes back in, Jorm hands her the money, and I'm buying a half a kilo for

$125, which is, like, unheard of and unbelievable.

I'm standing to make $5 ,000.

Once we got back to the hotel, we had 24 hours to wrap the drugs and get on the

plane.

Just grueling.

Hours of wrapping.

It's just one pellet after the other.

Burning my fingers with the lighter.

You know, this work is ridiculous.

Finally, Yoram and I are ready to swallow.

We have five hours before we need to get on the plane.

It was a really intense process.

I kept throwing them up, and when I'd throw them up, I'd have to go into the

bathroom and wash them off and try and re -swallow them again.

And I'm like, oh, this is terrible.

Why am I doing this?

This is disgusting.

Eating one pellet was easy, but eating hundreds of them was nearly impossible.

Was able to swallow about 350 grams I couldn't do it any longer after that

The minute I

walked out of the door I thought that everybody knew that I was smuggling

So Yarm and I got to the airport and we decided to split up.

If one of us got caught, we didn't want the other one to get caught.

I was scared to death.

There are guards with guns everywhere.

I'm completely on edge.

I'm just looking straight at the guard, and I just want to get through the

security check.

Handle yourself, Jackie. Stay under control.

Don't mess up.

All of a sudden, I start to feel something's wrong.

I start to feel lightheaded.

And I'm like, what the hell is this?

And before I know it, I feel like I'm stoned.

At that point, I realized that in wrapping those pellets, I had never

hands in between.

I had never taken care of the hash oil that was on my hands from rolling them

into pellets.

I couldn't believe it. I thought, how stupid. I said, I am high.

I'm freaking high right now, and I'm going to go through security in Nepal.

I can see that people are looking at me, and I'm not feeling good at all.

I'm starting to sweat.

I'm starting to shake.

It's almost too much for me.

I'm going to pass out.

And I know that they can tell I'm high. They've got to be able to see it. And if

they see that I'm high, there's no way they're going to let me through here.

They're going to pull me aside, and that's it.

End of the road.

This is it for me.

I'm scared at this point. I'm really, really scared.

The paranoia starts getting to me.

I went into the bathroom. I needed cold water on my face.

I'm looking in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot. And I'm like, what have I

done? What am I doing?

So I took a deep breath, and I calmed myself down.

And I'm thinking to myself, I'm not going to get caught.

Okay, so I'm in line for security check. I talk myself into being calm.

So I get up to the guard, and he asked me, I'm going back to Japan.

And what was your stay in Nepal for? And I said, it was purely enjoyment.

He said, all right, thank you very much.

And I walked through.

And at that moment, I was like, oh, my God.

That was one of the most intense moments of my entire life.

I'll never forget it.

We get on, and now I need to figure out, you know, how I'm going to make it to

customs in Japan.

So I land in Tokyo.

I walk to the customs store.

I'm thinking, once I'm through this, it's over.

I got through it. I couldn't believe it.

I just started laughing.

laughing with a huge smile on my face because once you're through, you're

through. I couldn't believe I had made it through all of that and that I was

going to be okay.

The thrill that you get from going through something like that was amazing,

almost like none other. It's a super rush.

We started coming up with ways that we thought we could do it without

it. I've got the best idea.

It just had to be in places that when you got patted down, they wouldn't feel

it.

I realized I could put it in my bra. I wouldn't be first there.

Another place we discovered was under the belt.

Shoes weren't checked.

I realized I could take quite a bit in each shoe.

So we were able to pretty much put a kilo on each one of us.

It was like a piece of cake.

And then there was another trip after that that was successful.

I was becoming an international drug smuggler.

Not many people can say that.

It's not easy, and you do have to be smart, and you need to be able to take

risks.

Big, big risks.

Yoram and I have known each other now for eight months.

You know, we've had a great relationship from the beginning. We were buddies,

like partners in crime.

He had my back, I had his.

So I was really surprised when Yoram betrayed me.

Yoram and I had just gotten back from our last trip from Nepal, and Yoram, as

usual, would go and take the drugs to the dealer and come back with the money.

So I waited as they always do for him.

24 hours goes by, and I haven't heard anything from him.

He comes back.

Sorry, I got distracted.

He gives me my money.

And it's missing a third of it.

This isn't enough. There's a third of this is missing.

I think he was feeling a little entitled.

Look, I got you into this in the first place. And why should I get half of the

money for bringing back half of this stuff?

I would...

disgusted at the way he was acting and hurt. I was really hurt.

I started an argument with him.

We're supposed to be friends here. I don't understand.

This is not right.

What are you doing?

How can you just turn on me like this?

Please. I mean, I, I, I, you know, I need this money. I need this money.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'll go get your money.

So I thought, all right, you know.

I got through to him.

So I let him go.

But he never came back.

And I never heard from him again.

I mean, it was really a very sad moment.

Ultimately, that's where drug dealing gets you.

You know, you become a little too greedy, and you want more and more and

So now that Yoram's out of my life, this big absence and void is there in a

sense of my travel partner. He's gone.

My visa's going to run out in two months, and I'm just not sure how I'm

about going home.

I wanted to go back to America in style. I wanted a nice car and a nice

apartment.

I thought if I did this with Yoram and we were successful, why don't I just go

ahead and make a trip back for myself?

I know the plan.

I know where to get it.

I know how to smuggle it.

I'm thinking, what could go wrong?

I decided I was going to make one last trip.

I met Mama Son, and this time I was fairly confident.

Have you got the stuff?

I asked for two kilos, which is the most I'd ever gotten.

I pick it up, and I feel it, and it's, like, hard.

And I'm like, whoa.

This isn't the same stuff. This is hard.

This is way too hard.

No, these are good.

No, it's not good.

See, if the half is hard, I can't mold it into my shoe. I can't cut it out

because it'll break apart.

I can't use that. What am I supposed to do?

Listen, you need to get me something good.

Come on. I need this to happen. You need to make this happen.

I'll be back tomorrow.

And I stormed out.

She knew I meant business, but what am I going to do, really?

Pull a gun out?

So the next day, I came back.

And she had it.

And I was like a sigh of relief. Oh, man, I can't believe this. I was really

happy. It's all calm. It's all good now.

It's all good.

So I get back to my motel room.

I do the shoes.

I do the belt. But this time I've got 500 more grams than I usually take on

one trip.

This is a bit much. I'm really pushing it, but this is my last trip. This is

I figure I'll transfer through Japan and go straight to America.

Hi. Hi.

I get to the airport and get up to the ticket counter to check in, and the lady

takes my ticket and gives it back and tells me I have the wrong day.

I fly out tomorrow.

What do you mean I'm flying out tomorrow?

That's what your ticket says.

I just can't believe I've missed.

Everything by a day. I mean, where was my head?

I mean, how stupid.

It's for tomorrow, not for today.

They're looking at me like I'm crazy, but I'm like, look, I've lost a day

somewhere. You know, I start getting a little nervous and I start getting a

little loud.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

I don't understand.

I'm like, can you just, you know, arrange a standby for me? I can't do

today, so you have to come tomorrow. I have flown this airline many, many

So I'm making all this commotion.

Everything's pretty tense.

The guards there got guns on them.

So they come over to where I'm standing, and then I'm like, okay, you know,

maybe I better calm down.

Look, can you at least get a manager for me, please?

I can try. Can you wait for a moment?

A manager comes out.

And he says, come over here to this room and we'll discuss it.

I'm thinking at this point, I've got two kilos of hash on me.

All they have to do is search me and that's it. I'm done. I'm busted.

It's wrong day.

Yes, I know. I know I missed my day. I'm sorry. This guy starts to question me,

and I realize he's definitely not a manager.

They want to know why I'm in the airport on the wrong day.

How could you have missed your day?

Who misses their day on a flight?

Didn't you check your ticket?

I got it mixed up because... I'm shaking just even talking about it.

I've got these two guards standing right over me.

I'm sure the next step is going to be a frisk.

And that's going to be it.

I've had so much on my mind. I didn't set my clock back, so I wasn't on the

correct time.

I'm so nervous at this point. This is a big deal.

He ended up believing me.

that I had lost the time of day, but I need to keep it straight the next time

because this kind of stuff is suspicious.

So they let me go.

So I go to a hotel.

Whoa, man, I'm still nervous. I'm still reeling because I had never been in that

situation before in any of my travels.

I'm like, whoa, man, I got to smoke a little bit to calm down.

I take my shoe off and I take a piece out. I roll the joint and I smoke it and

relax and I'm trying to calm myself down.

I really contemplated maybe leaving this behind.

I thought, you know, is this worth it?

I've almost just gotten myself into big trouble.

And I'm carrying more now than I ever have.

But then I thought again about how much I can make.

Bringing this stuff back to America, I knew that I could sell it for $15 a gram

and make $5 more than I was in Japan.

With two kilos, I could stand to gain $30 ,000 on this trip.

$30 ,000.

I decided to continue on and take the risk.

So the next day I get up and I'm ready to go. I've got a fresh attitude.

No more mistakes, Jackie.

I've gone through check -in so I get in line for security.

They're patting these people down quite heavily.

I've not really seen that before.

I'm thinking to myself, my God.

Really, what am I thinking?

I've got to get rid of this.

Beeline for the bathroom.

I then take the two pieces that are there on top of what I usually carry.

I can't flush it down the toilet because it could plug it up and get caught, and

the blocks are too big, so I stuck them in the trash can, and I was on my way.

No looking back.

So it was my turn, and I step up to security.

I'm sweating a little bit. I think she can smell this fear on me.

She asked me to put my hands up, and she pats me down on the front.

She stares me straight in the face.

And she said, you can go.

Oh, my God, I got through it. I couldn't believe it. I was like, dang, you're

good, Jackie.

I wish I hadn't left that 500 grams in the bathroom.

I arrive in Japan at 5 .30 in the morning, and it's empty.

There's really nobody around, and I need to find the transfer area because I

need to catch my next flight.

So I'm looking at the signs. I can't really read anything. There isn't a sign

that says transfer.

I'm really lost. Which way do I go? So I go down one corridor, and I'm not sure

about that. So I go down another corridor.

And I finally see two pilots coming down from the ends. And I'm like, I'm

looking for a transfer flight. And I don't know which way the transfer area

I don't want to go through customs. I want to go to transfer.

And they said, oh, transfer.

And they pointed to two double doors at the end of the hall.

You know, I didn't really question it. They worked there. They said transfer.

I figured we were understanding the same thing.

So I push through these big doors.

I walk in and I realize at that moment I'm in customs.

I've got to get out of here.

And I turn around and the doors are just slamming shut.

And my heart sinks.

Hello?

What am I going to do now?

At this point, I don't have time to be nervous.

I have got to go straight up and talk to these guys and see what I can do to go

through transfer area.

I walk up to the customs officer and I said, I've just made my way into

He told me that I could come this way to transfer my flight.

He said, well, you're in the customs area now. That means you need to go

customs.

Can we just please check your bag?

At that point, I was like, okay, I'm not going to start an argument.

I already know where that got me, and that's the last thing I need to do.

I regained my composure.

He started going through my bag, clothes.

My radio, none of this is going to get me in trouble. I'm feeling confident.

You know, I've got it on my body.

They aren't going to pat me down because that's not what they do in customs.

So I'm keeping my cool. I'm feeling okay about this.

And then he reaches down into the side packet on the bag.

And he pulls out.

A piece of hash that I had smoked the night before and

I had not put back into my shoes.

I knew immediately that I was busted.

My heart dropped to the floor. This feeling.

is like no other feeling.

What is it?

Chocolate.

He immediately put it up, had the inspectors come over.

They got the test tube out and took this piece and put it in the test tube.

It immediately turned bright red.

I knew that was it.

I had all of this stuff on me, and there was no way they weren't going to check

me. I couldn't get out of this one.

They walked me into the side room and sat me down and immediately called in

the officers that were on duty.

I was in shock and disbelief that this had happened.

Thinking back, I knew I'd screwed up because I got too confident.

How stupid could I have been?

Do you have any more?

Don't.

I knew I could be searched and I didn't want them touching me.

I pulled it right out of my bra and set it on the table, and they looked

shocked.

And they were just laughing.

They thought it was funny.

I was humiliated and, you know, really embarrassed.

I was taken to the airport jail.

There was me and three other girls in there.

I didn't think I was going to be able to handle this.

I felt really alone.

I needed someone who really cared about me to be there, and it was impossible.

I was 21 years old. I had the rest of my life ahead of me. I had no idea.

what was going to happen next.

I didn't even know the worst was yet to come.

I couldn't believe that I got five years in jail.

It was a hard blow.

I realized I was on my own now in a foreign country and I needed to be

for myself.

Prison was a really clinical type environment.

You couldn't interact with any prisoners.

You pretty much kept to yourself.

I didn't speak to anyone for what seemed like months and months.

We weren't allowed to lean or sleep or, you know, even sit

back against the wall. This was all forbidden.

You basically could sit Indian style or in Japanese position on your knees.

All day long.

That was it.

They have this guard that walked by the cells every six minutes.

I hated her, and she wouldn't leave me alone. She was on me.

Every time she passed by, I would look at

her and call out her name, Snake.

This anger that I was feeling inside myself, I took it out on her.

So I was angry, and one day, I completely lost it.

I'm in the bathroom, and I'm taking a couple of tubs of water to shampoo my

hair. You're allowed three.

So I do the first one, I shampoo my hair, take the second one, I take a

And then I go in for a fourth because I haven't got the shampoo out of my hair.

And the guards, the snake behind me, I hear her yell out, Dummy!

No, no, you can't do that. No, you better stop that now.

And so, you know what? Just hearing her made me angry.

So I kept going.

I have so much rage inside me. I'm so upset.

Dummy! Now, I can't take someone yelling dame to me one more time.

I just can't take it. So I keep going, and I keep putting the pails of water on

my head, and she's screaming even louder and more intense, dame, dame, no, no,

you can't do that, no.

And I just kept going, and she kept yelling, and finally she grabs me by the

and pulls me back, and I just got up in a rage.

I started beating my head on the wall.

I started beating my hands and my head on the wall.

And I just started screaming and screaming.

It was so intense.

I had never felt something so intense in my whole life. Then the rage I was

feeling from the system, from being told what to do every minute of every day.

They were breaking me down.

They were trying to break me down.

They put me in solitary confinement for two weeks.

I remember looking into this black dot that was on the wall.

I would disappear into that hole and kind of come back and not know where I

gone.

And for me, that was really scary. I felt like if I go into that hole, I

never... come out.

I was starting to question my sanity.

They had brought me to such a low level.

I felt that there was nowhere to go but up.

It felt like they had broken me.

In a way, that was good, because the conformity and the rules and the

that I needed to get through life, I mean, that's really what I was missing

my childhood.

And it was so odd that it came together this way in prison.

I changed my attitude completely around.

I started volunteering to do laundry and clean up after dinner was over.

I was learning and becoming a different person.

It was good for me.

In the middle of that, I realized that all my rebellion and all my anger came

from being mad at my mom.

I blamed her for not being there when I was a child. She didn't teach me right

from wrong.

She didn't teach me to respect authority.

So I decided to write to my mom, and my first letter was really difficult.

At that point I realized, you know, she's a human being and human beings

mistakes.

You know, we all mess up.

I messed up.

I remember getting the letter back from her telling me how much She loved me and

that she's sorry.

And that from this moment on, she was going to take care of me.

I think that's what really got me through my time in jail.

She was finally there for me.

I was released without warning the day before Christmas.

I was free.

I was going to be able to live my life again.

I couldn't believe it.

It was the most exciting time.

When I came home, my parents met me at the airport, and just like she had said,

her arms were wide open, and I just ran right into them.

It had been such a long time that for me there was an...

a greater feeling than knowing that she was back into my life and that she was

ready to be there for me.

It was really wonderful.

The experience changed me as a whole person.

I've lost a lot of that anger that I was holding on to.

My relationship with my mother now is very, very strong.

I finally realized what it was like to have a close -knit family and stability.

I think that that's all I really wanted all along.