Original subtitles

A friend of mine asked me to go to Thailand and smoke a drug.

What kind of drug?

Heroin.

And I said, why not?

I thought that I was pretty special.

Really, I was just pretty stupid.

You sure about it?

My heart just dropped to the floor.

Something inside of me snapped.

Hey! You!

And all that sorrow turned to anger and rose.

He looked at me and he said, You die.

You die.

It was 1994.

I was 26 years old, living in Chicago.

At the time, I was very emotionally unstable and insecure.

My father had been murdered when I was two.

I had a really dysfunctional relationship with my mother.

My past relationships had always been alcohol or drug abuse or physical abuse.

But when I got together with Andrew, I felt he was going to be

The person that was able to fill all of those voids.

What is this?

Andrew was the first guy that I'd ever come across that treated me with a lot

love and respect.

I was happy.

Go like that.

It was different than anything I'd ever felt before.

But one morning,

Andrew got up and he said, I've got to go to my mother's house. I'll be back

later on.

I just knew that something wasn't right.

He hugged me and he kissed me and he told me how much he loved me and that he

would see me in a few hours.

But I knew at that point that he was gone.

I was devastated.

Then I ran into a friend of mine that I hadn't seen in a while, Jeannie.

How are you?

I'm good.

How have you been?

I'm good. How's everything?

We had previously lived together.

How's Andrew?

I didn't want to say anything to my other friends because I was so

I haven't seen him. He walked out.

But I felt to her I could tell her the truth about what had happened with

Andrew.

Jeannie and I hung out a few times.

She was telling me about her new boyfriend.

His name is Yanni.

She told me that he really wants to meet me.

Hello.

So later on that evening, they come upstairs.

Welcome. Hi.

Yanni's got two or three bottles of liquor.

And so we start socializing.

And just out of nowhere, Yanni just says to me, Have you ever considered

traveling abroad?

And I said, What do you mean? Like to where?

He said, I don't know, like Thailand or something.

I've been around Jeannie for years. I know what these guys are into. I know

they do.

And I said, You want me to carry drugs, right?

What kind of drugs?

And he said, Heroin.

I'm thinking to myself, I could do that now.

I felt that the worst thing that could have ever happened to me had already

happened.

And that was that I lost Andrew.

And I said, how much are you going to pay me?

$10 ,000.

And I said, I'm not doing it for less than $25 ,000.

I was thinking I could pay off my bills.

Eventually, he said, okay, Angie, $25 ,000.

I'm thinking if I can get away, I don't have to be here in this apartment

anymore.

And I said, yeah, I'll do it.

He said I would be flying into Thailand.

I'll spend a week or two there.

Then on the last day before I'm ready to travel,

someone would come to my room and give me a package.

And I'd just fly home to the state.

I thought that I was pretty special.

And really, I was pretty stupid.

As soon as I landed, The first thing I noticed was how hot and sticky it was.

I pull up to my hotel.

I go to my room.

Thank you very much.

About an hour later.

Someone knocked on my door.

There's a guy standing there, very well -dressed, with a big smile on his face.

And he says, hi.

My name is Chika. I'm the person who's here to visit you.

And he said, we need to pack your bags.

And I'm going to show you another part of Thailand.

We pull up at probably the most amazing resort I've ever seen in my life.

It's five -star and it's luxurious.

And I said, okay, so what happens now?

He said, well, the reason I moved you out here is because there was a little

of a delay.

There were people that were supposed to bring me money, and they haven't shown

up.

He said, I can't do anything else with regard to your trip until this money

here.

He gave me my room key and said, I need to go into Bangkok and get that sorted

out, so I'm going to have to leave you on your own.

I'll be nice.

At that point, I was a little bit nervous.

In a situation like this, you would expect them to have it together, because

this is a pretty serious business deal. This isn't small beans.

Later on that evening, the phone rings. Hello?

And I almost dropped it because on the other end of the line was Andrew.

He had gotten in touch with Jeannie.

He gave up the phone number, but she didn't tell him where I was.

He said, where are you?

I instantly just got defensive.

For what do you have to ask me that question?

You left me. You don't care about me.

Why are you asking me where I'm at?

I'm in Bangkok.

He said, I know what you're going to do.

You've hooked up with some of those stupid Nigerian men again.

I know what they've convinced you to do.

Don't do it.

Please come home.

And I would really just like for us to be able to talk and see, you know, where

it went wrong.

And I'm wanting to hear that, but at the same time, I'm trying to play tough

guy. And so I said, when I get back in a couple days, we'll talk.

and if we decide that there's something worth fighting for, then we'll go back

to Chicago together and we'll give it a try.

All right.

Bye. So now, after talking to Andrew, I'm getting really antsy.

Because now I want to go home. Now I've got something to go home to.

I spent a few days at the resort.

For the first time, I kind of start questioning, okay, so when is this

going to happen?

On the third day, she called me.

Hello?

He said, we're ready to send you now. Time to go.

He said, leave your luggage. I will pack up your bag later this evening.

Right now, I just need you to get to Bangkok.

See you later.

So I put my stuff together in my room as best as I could, and I left.

I took a bus that would take me straight to Bangkok.

I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the fact I'm getting ready to pick

up a bag of drugs.

Put it on my person and take it through an airport.

And I noticed that the bus slows down and pulls over.

All of a sudden, I saw all these police officers just coming onto the bus.

I was like, wow, they're really after someone. This is really crazy.

I see them looking back and forth, side to side.

And they start walking closer and closer towards me.

I'm sitting next to some criminal, some killer. What's going on here?

And as I turn back around, they're standing right there in front of me.

Boom, hi, you're the one.

My heart just dropped this floor.

I'm thinking, did CK get arrested?

Have they been following me this whole time?

Do they somehow know what I'm about to do?

The police officer is looking at my passport.

He's not speaking English.

I don't understand.

I didn't know what to do.

And so then it hit me what the police officer was saying. He thinks I haven't

come and settled my hotel bill.

I'll be back tonight. My friend will be here with the money. This is all a

misunderstanding, okay?

But they're not having it.

I'm very frantic now, and I'm very emotional, and I'm very, you know,

distraught.

And I look back. People were up hanging on the windows like this, looking at the

foreigner who's just broken the law, who's going to jail.

They put me in the back of the car.

I just was scared. I was afraid.

I was saying, if you can please just call my friend. He'll explain

Please.

He took out his cell phone, and I gave him the number, and he called TK.

I didn't hesitate one moment to give up TK's phone number, because in my mind, I

really wasn't breaking the law.

Eventually, she gave him the phone.

He was able to convince the officer to let me go back to my hotel,

and he would be there in two hours.

The policeman looked like he wasn't sure, but he said, okay, but she's not

leave the hotel until you get there and settle the bill.

If she leaves, we'll arrest her.

When we pull up, I see that the manager of the hotel is standing outside.

I remember being so embarrassed when I got out of the car, having to walk

through the hotel lobby like the walk of saints.

So I quickly just ran down the hallway to my room, went in, closed the door,

threw myself on the bed.

This isn't what I signed up for.

A few hours later, there was a knock on my door.

Chique came back.

He told me, I cut him off and said, you realize that the police took me off of a

bus and were going to take me to jail.

He said, I'm really sorry, but right now I just need you to get to Bangkok.

Fine.

Go.

So later on that evening, Shike came back to my room. Hi, Angela.

And there was another guy with him.

He said that he had a proposition for me that he would like to discuss.

He said, Would you be willing to now add more

to your package?

I didn't see that there would be any bigger risk, really, because I didn't

I would get caught.

I figured I'm going to make twice the amount of money, which means I can shop

twice as much.

I can vacation twice as much.

It wasn't all responsible thoughts I was having.

And so I said to him, all right, let's do it.

And so then they started opening up the bag.

And I see this brick.

And she pulls out this other brick.

He said, we wrap it in this lining that we've taken out of these x -ray vests.

It's going to make it invisible for the X -ray machine.

I'm a little skeptical, but I'm listening to him.

Then his friend took out a leather bag.

He carefully unstitched all of the threading, placed the bricks down inside

lining.

He glued that part of the bag together.

You could tell he'd done this a lot of times before.

I'm a little blown away by it.

And so it gave me a little bit of a false sense of hope and confidence,

actually, of being able to get through unrecognized.

He gets it, okay, that's it. I won't see you again between now and then.

He handed me my ticket.

My hotel room was already paid.

And so they left.

The next morning, for the first time, I was really, really afraid.

But I picked up my little leather bag, threw it on my shoulder.

Collected my things, checked out, and hailed a taxi.

Driving along the streets of Bangkok, I'm seeing all the normalcy around me.

And somehow I feel as though I'm not really a part of it all.

I'm somehow outside of it looking in.

I remember looking up at one particular billboard just outside the airport.

There was a picture of a man and a woman, and the words were, stay in

I started to think about Andrew.

At that moment, I thought to myself, I can't go through with this.

Something bad is going to happen.

But before I knew it, I've gotten out of the taxi.

I've paid the driver.

I have the carry -on, which is the one that had the drugs in it, over my

shoulder with my purse.

I walk through the door.

I just see the big x -ray machine with the conveyor belt and the security

section.

But I'm still thinking, maybe I can just get to a bathroom and just ditch it in

the toilet or ditch it in the trash.

but I looked around and there wasn't anywhere else to go.

And so then it hit me.

It's time to put on my game face and let's do this.

As I approached the x -ray machine, I first took my purse off.

I knew that that bag was safe, so I figured, here, let's give them something

that we know is okay first.

There's one Thai woman at the x -ray machine.

She's smiling at me, but she's looking at the screen.

And then I immediately set the other bag on the conveyor belt.

And I'm trying to not really act like I'm looking at her as closely as I am.

And I walk through the metal detector.

Nothing beats.

I saw my purse pop out the other end.

I'm seeing the other leather bag come through now.

I was like, oh, yeah, I just did this.

And I'm reaching to pick it up, and the Thai woman there says, My

heart just dropped to the floor.

She reverses the machine back.

My stomach, my heart, every intestine in my body just thumps.

I'm in trouble.

I'm standing there with two bricks of heroin in my back.

And I still have this big smile on my face, and I'm trying to just really just

play this off.

The Thai woman looks at the screen.

She kind of zooms her eyes in just a little bit more.

I'm starting to get nervous and scared now.

She's looked over at another official in the airport.

This was another woman.

She takes her pen, and you hear it tap on the glass.

She looked at me very, very suspiciously, almost unbelievably, as

didn't really fit the bill for what they were seeing right before their eyes.

I've now leaned over, and as clear as I'm sitting here in this chair was as

clear as you could see that rectangular brick in the bottom of that bag.

I was instantly angry because I knew that Chica had lied.

I actually felt a little woozy because

all my worst fears had just come true.

It was crystal clear.

There was nothing that looked even remotely like it wasn't a big brick in

bottom of your bag.

All of a sudden, I see three Thai gentlemen walking towards me.

Hi.

And he said... Is this your bag?

And I said, yes. Yes, it is.

Did you pack it by yourself this morning?

Right away when he asked me that, I thought that might be my one chance to

somehow get out of it.

And I said, no, actually I didn't. My friend packed it for me.

Oh.

Okay? Can you come with me?

I don't even know how to describe the feeling that came over me.

But I knew that this was going to be really, really bad.

And I see this wall that has 30 to 60 Polaroid pictures.

The various women sitting there with some sort of drug cut open in front of

them, it was like the wall of shame.

And they take everything out of the leather bag, and they just slice it

open.

At that point, I was like, oh, wow.

This is not something that's going to go away.

And you see the powder sort of spilling out over the edge.

What's this?

I said, I don't know. What is that? I told you I didn't pack my bag this

morning.

They pull out the test kit.

They take a scoop of the powder.

And it turns purple.

And he said, ah, heroin.

You like?

And I said, no, what are you talking about?

Do I look like a youth heroine?

And I held my arms out.

He just thinks this is hilarious.

He looks at me and he said, You die.

You die.

You die.

And it's starting to hit me.

Where are all these women now? Are they dead?

I knew that in Singapore they'll kill you for smuggling drugs.

But I honestly really knew nothing about how Thailand handled it.

I started to get really afraid that maybe I was going to die.

We got to a police station.

The police officer said, you sleep here.

And I don't see any women anywhere.

All I see is, you know, seven or eight men.

And I was freaked out.

See, you sleep here.

And so now it's me alone, standing in the cell.

The male prisoners are all staring at me.

I just was scared. I was afraid.

I'm not able to function anymore, and I'm so distraught.

I was going to get a death sentence, and I didn't know what to do.

My life, it was over.

So finally the day comes that I'm going to be transported over to the prison

itself.

It was a fairly short drive.

So we pulled up to the prison.

At this point I was still really scared and I was still really afraid.

I just didn't know what to expect.

And they start yelling all of a sudden, and all these Thai women start piling

off, just rushing off the truck.

They heard

us into this very narrow hallway.

The guard, she's very loud, and she's telling everyone what to do.

She's being very authoritative and she's being very rude and just kind of mean.

I noticed that all the Thais are taking off their bras and their panties and

their shirts and getting fully searched.

And I said, I'm not doing that.

She kind of smiled and she said, well, they're going to make you do it.

We walk in.

to the nurse's room.

She motions for me to get up in this leather gynecological chair with metal

stirrups in the end.

I look on her hand, and I notice that she's got some latex gloves.

And I see her rinsing her hand in this stinky bowl of solution of some sort.

She tells me, get up in the chair.

And I said, no, no, no.

You need...

A new glove.

I clean.

Clean. What's going through my head now is that every one of these 15, 20 girls

that have come through here, you're wearing the same latex glove and just

swishing your hand around this disgusting solution that now has 20

swishing it before me.

And I just flat refuse.

Clean, clean, clean, clean, clean.

New, new glove.

I looked at her like, you're crazy, right?

Finally, she changed the glove and got me in the chair.

I was looking up at the ceiling, and I just had tears flowing down the side of

my face.

She did a very unkind,

unprofessional check of me to make sure supposedly that I had no drugs in my

body.

It was probably the most inhumane and humiliating thing that I had ever had to

deal with.

I had never felt so dirty, just worthless.

Later that evening, we go upstairs to the sleeping building.

And I'm looking and trying to figure out where am I going to sleep.

There's just bodies all over the floor.

So I proceeded to just do a beeline right across the room.

And I kind of hopped.

All of a sudden, all the Thai people just sat up.

I was instantly scared to death.

I don't really know what's going on.

What have I gotten myself into?

And then I hear one of the other prisoners say, She's huge, she doesn't

understand.

I'm going to explain to her the rules right now.

She said, You can't do that. You can't show them the bottom of your feet.

It's rude here.

To a tiger. Your foot is the dirtiest thing in the whole world.

And I had not only stepped across their feet, I was hopping over their head,

which is the biggest no -no.

Now what I'm worried about is, would there be some type of repercussion?

they harm me?

I thought something bad is going to happen.

As the days went by, I'm starting to kind of figure out just how really

disgusting this place was.

There's sometimes maggots in the rice.

They serve it with big soup.

We used to call it exploded fish head soup because it just looks like it took

fish and blew it up and threw it in a pot.

a gutter that went all the way around the prison.

You could see what was toilet waste that would overflow into the shower here.

I never knew that human beings could be expected to live like this.

I've been in prison for about seven months and I never stopped thinking

Andrew.

And so I wrote him a letter.

I explained how sorry I was for not listening to him and just coming home

way that he told me to.

And how much it would matter to me if I could just talk to him one more time.

And I just said, if I die in this godforsaken place, just know that I

and I always will.

One day, I was told that I had to go to a legal visit.

I see this guy standing there and he says, hi.

Over the course of the visit, the lawyer explained to me how the sentencing

works.

He said if you fight your case, you're going to get a death sentence.

But if you're willing to plead guilty... It's very likely they'll reduce it to a

lower sentence.

Great. He said there is a treaty with the United States and Thailand that...

If you have a sentence, which is 50 years, you stay in Thailand for four

And then be transferred to the United States for the remainder of your

I just remember feeling so relieved.

Okay, then I'll plead guilty.

I could do four years. That's about all I could do. But I could do four years.

I got called to court.

I'd already done a couple of years by now.

I was very, very nervous.

Today was the day that I'm going to know when I'm going home.

And so they're reading the verdict.

By now I spoke a little tithe.

I'm hearing which means life.

And I didn't quite understand that.

I'm ready to hear 50 years or less.

I got a little nervous and I asked the translator, life?

She said, your final court judgment is life.

I instantly felt paralyzed.

I said, what do you mean?

I decided to plead guilty.

I'm supposed to get a lower sentence.

He said, no, that's not guaranteed. That's just sometimes they have mercy on

you.

And I said to her, why would they have mercy on everyone and not have mercy on

me?

I was devastated.

Right outside the courtroom door was this big window.

I looked out over the city.

I decided at that moment that I didn't want to live anymore.

The guard was distracted speaking to someone else.

I stepped up on a little ledge.

I thought about Andrew again.

And I thought about my mom.

I just thought it was the easiest solution.

I thought that I would stop hurting.

And that this whole thing could kind of be over for everyone if I just wasn't

around anymore.

The guard caught me.

He said, no, no, no, you can't die because you have to think about your

and your friends.

I just remember feeling so hopeless and so helpless.

I couldn't even pull it off to kill myself.

When I get back to the prison, everyone's waiting on the sidewalk.

Instantly, they knew that something really bad had happened.

And all of a sudden, this girl looked at me.

And she laughed at me.

She said, long high, long high, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And long high means to cry.

Something inside of me snapped.

And all that grief and all that sorrow turned to anger and rage.

I took my hand and I put it around her throat and I physically picked her body

up off the ground.

I wanted to kill her.

I was going to kill her for laughing at my pain and laughing at my sorrow.

Now I'm squeezing in and I'm digging into her.

There was a certain amount of excitement and kind of this adrenaline rush that I

was getting.

All the other prisoners are pleading with me, and they're saying, please, no,

stop.

And finally, they got me off of this girl, and she just dropped to the

I don't know where that evil thing came out in me, but it did.

One of the officers came over.

And she said, okay, she needs to stay with me.

I need to make sure that she's not going to hurt herself.

It was pretty obvious at this point that I'd had a nervous breakdown.

She just gave me a place to just kind of pull me out of this really introverted

state that I was in.

Just kind of lay down and just relax and not really deal with anything.

Over the course of a couple of months, I started functioning again.

Then one day, there was another foreign woman arrested.

testing at the officers and she's arguing.

And then the guard said to me, you

need to take care of her.

So she went in the room with me that night and of course she didn't sleep.

was up all night and I was up with her.

I was afraid that if no one was Kind of comforting her that the ties would would

harm her She was very sick You

knew that she was a heroin addict It

really hit me just how awful the effects of heroin really were

I Thought about how many people I would have hurt by

what I had intended to do

I decided at that moment that I needed to somehow help this woman.

I sort of felt like it was the only way that I could kind of make amends for

what I'd done.

And I felt like I really had a purpose.

I need to really be a different person.

From that moment on, the time just started to just fly.

The months went by.

The years went by.

And I had a certain inner peace.

And I started now planning, okay, there's life after prison.

The big day finally came and they called my name on the microphone.

There were people crowding all in the courtyard.

I waved and I blew kisses and I smiled and I cried.

The guards opened up that steel door for the last time.

i never looked back into that horrible place again

so

finally i get back to the states and once again andrew

popped into my head

I knew that I'd always love him.

I called up.

I said, Andrew?

Who is this?

I said, hey, how are you?

I'm back.

And we spent about eight hours on the phone that day.

Yeah.

I know.

And within a couple of months, Andrew had packed up and flown out here to be

with me in California.

That was nine years ago, and now we're married and we're happily married.

As difficult as those nine years in prison were, without them, we wouldn't

made it and we wouldn't have been back together.

We have a really happy and wonderful life together, and that's where we are

today.