Original subtitles

Previously on "Suddenly Amish."

I want to show you stuff that I have hidden away.

I am shunned.

By helping me, I'm offering James a chance at redemption.

We're gonna have to take your phone now.

Welcome to the Amish.

If I'm not strict enough, I might be the one

paying the price.

I am escorting you off the property.

- He's chasing me with a [bleep] axe. - Go!

♪ My name is Judah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ And I am bi ♪

I'm scared.

I don't think that the Amish accepts anybody in

the LGBT community.

Imma just keep my little secrets to myself.

We're flirting under Amish terms.

There's a connection there.

But I just like talking to him.

I'm leaving.

With Matt leaving, it sucks for Kendra

because I thought there was a little something brewing

with the two of them.

It's, like, hard.

I definitely have a soft spot for Kendra.

If I want to be Amish, I have to face James again.

Are you kidding me right now?

- Oh, Jesus. - Oh!

Matt, why are you back?

I think James is maybe a little interested in Kendra,

and if Kendra would conform and stay, that she could

possibly be a future partner for him.

Allen's saying, part of my reason for chasing Matt off is

because I wanted Kendra to myself.

I don't know, did I?

I have to be honest with you, you and Kendra would not be

a good match. - OK.

You would get into a cat and dog fight, and you'd be

over with, like, within two days.

Less than two days.

Cats and dogs get along still.

Mm-hmm.

I guess.

I'm not sure what Matt's intentions are for coming back.

Maybe it is to come see Kendra.

But if that is his primary motivator,

then it won't last long-term.

Well, Matt, we came to a conclusion, you can stay...

- Awesome. - ...and then we'll take it from there.

- OK. - Welcome back.

It was three against one.

I think there's some darkness in Matt.

I have to do my due diligence and keep a close eye on him.

Keep the community clean.

When did y'all leave the other house?

- We discovered some bats, so, uh... - Perfect.

...we'll be staying here for a while.

Wish I knew you were coming. I would have cleaned my room.

I'm willing to give Matt the patience that he needs

to see if this is really what he wants.

- Go ahead, Matt. - Thank you.

In the Amish culture, forgiveness is very important,

and forgiveness comes with patience.

If you're ready, we'll take you up to your room.

Yes, I would love to see.

I would highly encourage James to maybe practice

a little more patience.

We'll make him sleep out in the corn.

As much as I like Matt,

I don't want Matt to be back here.

I feel like we all worked so hard to get to this point,

and I don't want him to mess this up for any of us.

So, I'm not sure how we're gonna work this out.

We'll figure it out.

We got some space over here for you.

- Perfect. - I have a mixture of feelings.

I want us all to make it, but is he committed?

What about these beds? Three in a row.

- That's cool. - Would that work?

Um, yeah, I mean, I'm fine with that.

Sure. OK.

Having to live under James' roof with James, I don't know

what's gonna happen.

I don't know if these doors lock.

- Are you here to stay, Matt? - I don't know.

In the Amish world, church is everything.

It's not just about...

your faith, it's also about community.

It's the all-consuming thing in the Amish lifestyle.

For the six people that were invited to come in,

to understand and experience the church experience is

extremely important.

It's more important than putting away their technology.

It's more important than changing clothes.

It's about doing life with others.

I've never been to Amish church before.

I don't know what to expect.

I don't know what it's gonna be like.

I'm used to the loud African American experience.

Going to the Amish church is one of

the things that I really wanted to do.

So I'm psyched that we get to go, 'cause nobody gets to go

from the outside.

Matt is not yet compliant, so we're gonna give him

his Amish clothes for the day out of respect for the church.

But after the church service, he's gonna have to give him

back until he's compliant and he's ready.

Matt wearing the Amish clothing is a little bit like

a wolf in sheep's clothing.

We need to watch him hard

so he doesn't eat the rest of our sheep.

- Following James. - See that barn?

Oh, yeah.

Amish churches are generally in a barn.

In the Amish church service,

you will show up the fellowship prior to starting church.

And then there's a three- to three-and-a-half-an-hour

service, and then there's the fellowship meal.

It's a full day.

Walking up, I already felt, like, an eerie vibe.

There was no one in sight, and then there were,

like, three girls, a little bit younger, walking up,

and they're instantly like...

So I was like, "OK, this is how it's gonna be."

Yeah, we definitely look like outsiders.

Then this guy walks up to us, and he's like,

"OK, girls over here, guys over here."

And we're like, "Oh, we're separated."

The church knew we were planning to bring these

English to church, so they were kind of expecting us.

I don't think they are too upset.

I don't know if they're too excited either.

They definitely have their guards up.

Right now, I'm living in Lancaster,

but I'm from Atlanta.

I feel like a pepper in a saw bucket.

Like, there was no other African American folk up

in there, so I was like, "Hold on."

Their songs were very, like, elongated.

Their vowels were, like, we were on the same page

for, like, 20 minutes.

I just pretended to look at the book

because I didn't know what else to do.

Amish sermons, for the most part,

are in Pennsylvania Dutch or German.

I have no idea what they're singing.

I have no idea what they're saying.

I don't know what the sermon's about.

But BJ looked at me, I looked at her--

she seen me see her see me,

and we was like... gave each other the eye.

So we stepped out.

So after the service, we all headed back home.

I am really happy we came because that was really

interesting to see. - Yeah, that's how I feel too.

Like the singing was beautiful.

- They're still there. - They're still there.

They were eating.

Yeah, because they have like a little lunch, I guess,

like, after church every time.

As soon as we got to the farm, we realized that James

and Aaron were still at church, so maybe they're having lunch.

I'm not sure, but I'm sure they're having a good time.

Church is a very sacred place that not a lot of people get to

go to, so I want to eat it up.

And I know the other people were tired and they were ready

to get home, but stayed a little longer,

had some conversation.

They invited us to stay even longer after the food.

Why did you guys run off and leave us?

Even though I might not be able to understand the Dutch

and I can't hear everything being said, I could still read

the body language of everybody, and to me,

it was such an awakening. It was transcending.

What did you think of church?

I felt like church was cool. It was really interesting.

I feel like I wish I could have understood it more, but we were

there for three hours with no backs on our chairs,

so I needed a break.

I needed a second to relax and recuperate.

Wait, you stepped out for a few minutes.

Yeah.

Well, also, BJ stepped out as well, so why would

you think that-- - Yeah, I did too.

I personally felt like it was very important for them to

go to church.

I wanted them to understand...

the whole community is built around religion.

I don't think that they got it.

Aaron, he sat there through the whole thing,

but everybody else, they just could not sit still.

Like, I just wish they could have just sat there

and just been respectful...

and just, you know, it's not that hard.

Let's have a silent prayer.

The silent prayers during meal times, it's a time that

we reflect on being thankful for the food we have,

the family we have, you know, everything.

But most importantly, we need to thank God for

his blessing upon it.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Hallelujah. Amen.

When there's a silent prayer, normally the person that says,

"OK, let's pray in silence."

James should have said, "Let's ask the blessing,"

and then he should have done a short blessing on this meal

in his head. - It was like a Bluetooth.

Like, we all, like, sync up to James.

And then he should have said "amen" out loud so that we know.

The food looks great, and I was ready to dig in.

And just to, you know...

- There's music playing, right? - There's music.

OK.

Sounds like a Rumspringa party.

Where are they?

Rumspringa is a time for youth to decide

if they want to stay Amish or join the world.

- Sydney, pleasure to meet. - Jess, nice to meet you.

- Rebecca. - Pleasure to meet.

There's some that dress English, drive a vehicle,

and of course, many of them drink.

I was born and raised in a very conservative church,

so conservative that we didn't have Rumspringa.

So I kind of missed out on Rumspringa years.

Hi, I'm Kendra.

There's a possibility I might still be with the church

if I had Rumspringa.

I would have pursued those curiosities earlier

rather than later, probably.

We wanted to go hang out at the Rumspringa party.

James was letting loose.

I ended up joining into the party.

I'm human too.

I like to have a little fun.

Oh!

We decided it might be a good idea to give

these English a little bit of a break.

We've been tough on them, we've been strict, so we'll

give them a little taste of what Rumspringa is like.

Maybe they'll actually want to be Amish even more.

Tonight we're all on Rumspringa.

I just wanted to get a little cozy with Matt.

He did not leave my side and I was like, "OK."

So I'm still trying to play it cool, but it's cute.

We're like hanging out.

We are breaking the rules with the alcohol.

It's a slow process.

You can't expect me to be Amish overnight.

Jesus drank wine.

Why are we depriving ourselves

of the beautiful grapes that Jesus gave?

Like, let me have a glass of wine.

Maybe if we party together and have a little fun,

maybe we'll connect with them a little deeper level

Maybe on a shallower level, I don't know.

James just keeps staring at Kendra.

- What the... - Baddie!

You'd be Amish except for the moves.

Do you see what I see?

I see it.

I know, that's what I'm saying,

like, you can put whatever clothes on me,

I'm still gonna be... - Still Kendra.

- the Amish twerk? - Yeah, they do.

What is the Amish twerk?

Uh, uh, uh.

Kendra twerking, looking at Matt.

- James energized by... - Excited.

Yeah, by Kendra's twerk.

And then Emma's gaze at James watching Kendra twerk.

She was not happy about him giving those stares.

Oh.

- Why do you think that is? - She a little jealous. She jealous.

She is a little jealous. She knocked that hat right off

his head so quick.

Oh, here come the lanterns. Perfect.

Fire. Fire dancing.

There you go.

- Look at him. - Fire dancing.

Yes! Get it.

OK.

We got wine, wanna drink it? Is it a Cabernet?

Oh, what do you know about Cabernets?

James is wild.

And I'm like, "Homeboy who chased Matt off

with an ax is now like, the crazy party animal."

Like, I feel like he needed that release.

Yield not to temptation.

- Who's thirsty? - Oh, God.

A little wine for the stomach's sake.

Oh-- Oh, my God.

- Keep going. - There's lanterns everywhere.

I saw a lot of strange things with Emma and James.

It's like friendly flirting, maybe, but awkward

for everyone else.

You ready to go to bed? Bed time, .

I feel like it's hypocritical how James is so harsh on us,

but then, like, he's wrestling Emma.

Wrestling match? I didn't see one.

- Did you? - No, I didn't see anything.

He's supposedly the super strict Amish man, but, like,

I see what he's doing. I got eyeballs, too.

Uh, there's a lot of hypocrisy going on with...

a lot of things. James is getting drunk.

I mean, that's in the Bible.

You're not supposed to drink to excess, as well as

doing all of this extra stuff with Emma, and I don't know

if they think they get a free pass

because they're cousins, and it's...

James didn't want me to fight him, because he knew I would

lay him over real quick.

Actually, you did pull my leg out from under me one time.

It might be somethings going on, I ain't gonna speak about.

- Mm. Fair. That's fair. - I don't know.

Then I need more tin foil.

I think my confidence has definitely grown here from

day one, where I was like, you know, had my lashes,

my hair, like, my style.

Having all that taken away, I definitely struggled with

because I think it was, like, something I kind of was

hiding, I guess, behind.

And now that I don't have any of that, it's just, I feel like

I've grown for myself and been able to be,

like, a lot more confident. - OK, I have this for the eggs.

I'll put them on here.

Both of your knees are messed up?

- Yes, that's what I was saying. - From fall-- you fell on both of them?

Yeah, my skin was coming off of my knees

- Hi, Allen. - Hi, Allen.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Can I borrow you a second? - Yeah.

Uh-oh.

- What up? What up? - Fellas?

- Hey. How you doing? - Good.

What are you guys doing?

Allen wants to talk to us about something.

Seeing that you all spent some time in the community

and made quite a few changes,

I feel like a father figure to you all.

I guess I just wanted to talk about relationships.

Now is the time to talk about the birds and the bees of life.

We highly encourage a hands-off relationship.

- Sorry. - Be serious.

I did notice you, Matt, you know, with...

you and Kendra, I really hope it works out for you,

if that's what you guys want. - Thanks, Allen.

I would highly encourage to take things slow and easy.

Definitely, yeah.

I agree.

It is a bit hypocritical.

James is doing all of this extra stuff with Emma,

and if I brush against Kendra's knee,

I get an hour-long lecture about it.

In our culture, we believe that the women are

to be respected.

They are there for a helpmeet.

They're not just a sex figure.

I felt like I was back in my homeschool days where my mom

went and rented the puberty video from the library.

Awkward!

I had a question with relationships and premarital

sex and pregnancy.

What do Amish do if that happens?

Is that an absolute shun?

Yes, there will be consequences.

That's why you gotta do, like, the pull out method.

You gotta make sure you get in and get out.

Yeah, and then you shoot the gun, and then you,

like, make sure the bullets is re-up.

Wait, no.

So when the bullet is already shot, it's too late to pull out.

Yeah, so let's change the analogy now.

You park the car, and then before you get out

the car, you back out, and you don't even--

Put it in reverse.

Put it in reverse, and you don't even get

out the car. - I think that's a good analogy.

I understand that.

We also believe that if God wants us to have a family,

he will provide it.

And when the children are growing up...

it is our responsibility to

teach them what's right and what's wrong.

This is my chance to have a conversation with Allen about

my sexuality and see if I'm even accepted in this space.

So let me ask this.

Say somebody, there's two members of church,

maybe, men or women and they are in a same-sex relationship.

How does the Amish--

How is-- is that an automatic shun as well?

I was kind of shocked by this question.

I don't understand why Judah was asking me this.

Yes.

That is not acceptable.

It's clear to me that I can't tell Allen that I'm bisexual.

I'm really at a crossroads right now because, if I do

decide to date an Amish man, I'm going to be shunned.

But at the same time, I could fall in love with

an Amish woman.

So I don't really know how this is gonna play out.

I'm just giving it to God at this point.

- Hello, Mr. Bishop, sir. - How are you, Judah?

Good. How are you?

I'm going to meet with each of these six people on

an individual basis. - Hi, Aaron.

This following up with the English people and help

them sort through, find what they're looking for.

That's my job.

The bishop is a very important part in the community.

A lot of people will respect the bishop more than just about

anybody else. He's almost like the king.

People go to him for advice.

A lot of people are kind of scared of him.

Have a seat.

In the next couple weeks, we will have a day of reckoning

to see how well they have integrated into the community.

At that time, the church will decide whether they can

continue pursuing membership in the Amish church.

- Wow, your appearance has changed a lot. - I look different, right?

Yep, definitely.

- You definitely would almost pass for an Amish person. - Almost.

So tell me about your experience so far?

I see you haven't changed the clothes.

I have not gotten Amish clothes yet.

I just got back a couple of days ago.

I was excited to talk to him, but also very nervous just

because of how our conversation went last time.

You look beautiful today. Do you feel beautiful?

I actually do.

Like, this color and then the covering, I think

the covering is the cutest thing.

One thing that I've been really learning is that putting

on all this is a lot of discipline.

- It's a lot of what I don't want to do. - Yeah.

It's been good. It's been bad.

It's been a ride.

One of the biggest cons about Amish living would be like

how strict the rules are.

Honestly, if I be real with you, Bishop, this thing, like

really feels like a cult.

And I feel like James just comes from a really strict

church that they have to have

specific shoe soles, specific clothes. - Yeah.

- And it kind of scares certain people away... - Yeah.

...if you're not strong-minded. - Yeah.

So what has been the greatest challenge for you?

- I struggle with the heat. - Oh, OK, no AC?

It's huge for me, Bishop.

I was just so scared of what he was gonna say to me.

I didn't know what to expect.

- We talked about your hearing needs. - Mm-hmm.

Did you find the community helpful?

Um, it's different, but I did get some new hearing aids.

It's, you know, my brain's doing a lot of this.

Got it.

I get the fact that it feels like a cult to you,

but the reality is the Amish people find themselves in

an era that they didn't choose.

I'm actually impressed with your level of openness

and your humility.

Stepping into a new culture is not an easy thing.

For outsiders coming in, my greatest piece of advice is

always lay down your own agendas and just focus on

becoming one with everybody else.

And if you come in any other way,

that's a recipe for disaster.

I had a, uh, altercation with James.

James was pretty upset about me being divorced,

and he chased me off the property with an ax, so...

I would say that was an over-excessive reaction.

Yeah.

It's really hard to take an energetic young man like

James and where he came from,

the strict order that he came from,

and he's making choices today

because of that strict order.

Why did you come back?

- I felt like there was some unfinished business. - Journey.

Yeah, very unfinished journey.

How do you feel about the rules in the Amish community?

More Amish people that I meet, they're very cool,

calm, reserved, and that's just not me, but as far

as the cooking, the cleaning, dressing more

modestly, not using my phone, that I'm totally cool with.

So with Kendra, she has bought into how serious modesty is

to the Amish culture.

Even through all, it may seem negative, but I do appreciate

the positive aspects of it.

With Judah, I think the biggest hurdle for him to

overcome would be his individuality.

He values that highly.

He sees that as a great asset,

and the Amish would see that as a detriment.

So it's important for Aaron to understand not being able to

have the specific hearing aids that he has is

not a punishment.

It's a freeing up of the technology

that he's clinging to. - I appreciate you.

So good to see you.

- Bless you. - Thank you.

So if Billy Jo wants to join, I don't think anybody has

a problem with that.

Esmeralda and Matt seem to be the outliers.

It will take a lot of discipleship to integrate them

into our lifestyle,

but God brought them all together for a reason.

Hi, welcome.

The bishop put me on this mission to help these English

join the church.

I have to be straight.

I am not sure how it's going to go.

Just following up with you, caring for the English,

just wanted to hear your perspective, how you felt

they were doing, how they were integrating.

I think it's a battle for all of them.

OK.

I'd say, you know, it's a culture shock, obviously. - OK.

We've been trying to, you know, and give them some

grace and let them take it at a slower pace than some would. - OK.

They don't realize how hard it is and what all is involved.

OK.

What you're saying is, we're coming from two different

worlds and they're trying to integrate into our world

and they're figuring out that it's really hard.

It's interesting watching them battle with

the culture shock, definitely.

Do you feel like you've gotten to know these people well

enough that you could be an advocate for them?

- We should do better with that. - I agree.

Appreciate those thoughts.

Yeah.

Except James has blue eyes? Green eyes? Gray eyes.

- No, they're... orange-ish. - Blue-ish.

OK, it's just reflecting you.

Oh, it is?

James and I have been very close over the years.

He's helped me a lot.

He's been very impactful in my life.

I would say we've been best friends.

- Would you date me, James? - I don't know.

I don't know.

Oh, you did great. You're really good.

I don't see why we'd be bad for each other anyway.

We do enjoy each other's company.

You have to understand, we're also very young.

I'm 23 years old. I respect James a lot.

He kind of...

taught me a lot of what I know.

I know.

We never hooked up.

There's plenty of things the English will have to do

to fit into our community. There's plenty of work.

We believe that hard work can help build your character,

so there's one person

that needs a little bit more of that.

Oh, my God.

I think James gave me this almost impossible task of

mowing the lawn with a rusty, broken lawn mower,

on purpose because he doesn't like me very much.

I think James could be targeting me specifically

because he likes Kendra...

...so he may be trying to get me out of the way.

Is it getting stuck?

I'm more so unsticking the mower than I am

mowing the lawn. And the handle's breaking.

It's a little uneven.

Do you want to just say it's broken and we can go to,

like, the creek or something? - Yeah.

OK. They won't know.

- Just leave it. - Oops.

- OK, we're gonna go this way. - Whoopsie.

They'll be like, "What happened?"-- mm...

Getting to know Kendra and exploring things with

Kendra is slightly more exciting

because it's forbidden. 'Cause we're not supposed to.

This is so cute, actually.

Allen talked to me about touching.

- Allen talked to you about touching? - Mm-hmm.

- What did he say? - Because he saw my hand on your knee.

He was saying that, like, little touching,

like, a hand on the knee or something like that just,

like, leads to...

more things that...

they're not OK with.

So they just, like, don't do any touching at all.

That's crazy to me.

That's part of, like, the getting to know you,

like, process, like-- - Yeah.

Because if you're not compatible,

like, sexually, or even, like,

physical connection like that... - Yeah.

...like, what happens if you get married and then you're like,

"Mnh-mnh"? - "Don't like this."

Yeah.

I don't know.

I feel like it's hard to get to know people in,

like, a group setting. - Yeah.

Well, I mean, even us at the house, like, I'm trying to

get to know you and then it's hard because, like,

people come in and... - Yeah.

...it's just, like, so hard to, like, actually get to know you. - Yeah.

- It's not what I'm used to. - Yeah, same.

- Like, that's for sure. - Yeah.

I think things between me and Kendra have

gotten to a really tense place, physically, because, I mean,

I would like to touch her and explore,

other than just sitting and chit chatting,

because what's the difference between that and, like, friends?

Like, you know, like, when you're romantically

interested in somebody, you want to, like, make some

physical contact, and we're not allowed to.

If we were in the modern world,

I would have kissed Kendra by now.

You have to be an arm's length away.

What the [bleep]?

Emma caught me off guard.

I'm so pissed right now.

What the [bleep], is wrong with this girl?

It has to be about an arm's length.

I'm making you a stick,

so you know.

The Amish, how they date, it's very monitored.

They do believe in hands-off courtship, so no holding hands,

no touching, nothing.

I've never seen any Amish kissing in public.

I think you could be shorter.

Yeah, what if you just, like...

We're not gonna sit with a stick between us.

That's crazy.

Me and Kendra are in our 30s, and Emma's in her 20s,

so that makes it even more like...

Get out of my face right now.

At first, I was like, "Oh, I'm going to become Amish."

But in that moment, I was like, "I don't care about any of that."

I just wanted to be real.

Emma, we're coming swimming.

Do you want us to bring the stick?

Ooh. Oh God.

Whoa.

Emma, do you approve of this?

It's for safety reasons.

Matt and Kendra's date was not a normal Amish date.

Like, there's a respectful way of doing it,

and there's a disrespectful way.

Normally, it wouldn't be any physical touch or anything

like that, but the whole thing was very different from

what I was used to,

so I just kind of gave up doing anything about it.

Well, I thought maybe they didn't want to be Amish.

- Allen, Judah. - What's up, y'all?

Hello.

- We went swimming. - We went swimming.

- Swimming? - Yeah.

Y'all look as guilty as ever.

We went to like a creek or a...

- It was a creek. - Yeah.

- A creek. - We went to a creek.

- Was he a gentleman? - Yeah.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

I have a problem with you.

You're an English guy trying to drag off our Amish ladies.

We can't have that.

Matt's leading Kendra astray.

And Kendra struggles with temptation.

I have to put a stop to this.

You can't think about dating an Amish lady

in the Amish church if you are formally married.

- OK. - What are you doing here?

Is Kendra formally in the Amish church?

No, but she is joining the fold, and you're trying to

drag her back out.

Well, we'll talk about that if she's formally in

the Amish church.

Right?

James is getting in my face after this date.

I don't know what's going on with James and Kendra,

but this needs to stop.

We're kind of getting to the point where I'm like,

"I'm about to break all your [bleep] rules."

We're going to have to work on your attitude yet.

What makes you feel entitled that you don't have to

follow the rules?

You are living among the Amish.

Why would you want to disrespect them?

Follow the rules, just like the rest of us.

I'm worried about Kendra.

Matt's trying to pull her away.

I don't want him to pluck her out of the fold.

This is not how the Amish do.

We don't go to a motel before we're married.

There's only one motel close by.

I need to go find them.

Next time on "Suddenly Amish."

You don't have a right to go knock on their door

and antagonize them.

It's morally wrong to live in fornication.

What makes you feel that you both are entitled

to just go have some alone time in a hotel room?

You don't feel like you owe all of us an apology

for how you both acted? Trifling ass bitch.

I feel like I lost two kids.

Right now the mission looks kind of rough.

As house parents, it's your job to try to get

everybody back on track. - I got it.

- I got it. - You got it.

- I got it. - You can do it.

I got it. Close my hand.

You're a man. Come on.

You know, I'm out here doing things I never

thought I would do. - Ah!

I kind of get the feeling that there's something in his life

that he's keeping a secret.

I actually don't mind doing this.

It's kind of fun for me.

I do sense that Aaron will be more likely to embrace

the Amish lifestyle.

- I don't know about the rest. - Family split, friends split.

It is tough. You guys know that.

I might seem like the bad guy, but I'm doing this to help

my standing with the church.

I just can't do it anymore. It's not who I am.