Original subtitles

One of the officers came to the cell. He said, do you know what you've done?

You're responsible for killing our people. Our children are taking this

It's the greatest betrayal because CJ knew exactly what was in those shoes.

I mean, this is heroin.

You help us catch this guy or I go to prison for 45 years.

I'm going to do the sting operation.

He reaches for something in the car. This is literally where my heart stops.

These guys are playing with big money.

People kill for money.

If you're weaker than me, I crush you. That's just the way it works.

I became absolutely insane.

I don't know what's better, death or 45 years.

I was living in Johannesburg with my sister. I was 20 years old.

It was quite a difficult time because our mother had passed away, so that was

very hard to deal with.

I had to look after her. She was about 16.

I tried to set an example with my sister.

Hey, come on.

It's work time.

I'm responsible.

I'll work.

I'll pay the rent at the end of the month.

You've got to feed yourself. You've got to feed your sister.

You've got to do a lot of things. It's pressure.

You always feel like you're under pressure.

I just needed a break.

Just leave everything and just go.

I had a bar job. I actually worked two bar jobs, one during the week and one on

the weekend.

Sita was a regular customer.

He's quite a big guy.

He was very friendly. He was very outgoing, sociable.

He seemed like a really nice guy.

He tipped quite well as well.

So obviously that's the kind of customer that you want.

He had a job. He was organized in life. He was going somewhere.

You want to be like that. It's appealing.

One day he said to me, well, if you want to, let's go somewhere.

He asked a lot of questions about me, my family life, what I enjoyed in life.

I do find it flattering, yes.

He took my number as well, so he used to phone me quite often after that.

I think looking back at it now, CJ definitely knew exactly what he was

The next time me and CJ met, he was showing me pictures of Mauritius. He'd

to Mauritius before, and the beaches are stunning.

It's a little island, and it's got all these mountains on it, and it's so green

and beautiful.

It's an amazing place.

He mentioned that we should go.

I said to him, at this stage in the game, I actually can't afford to go. I

really can't, because I don't have the money. He said to me, but who asked you

to pay? I can afford to pay for everything.

I don't know if I believe him or not, because men say things all the time.

You take it with a pinch of salt.

Because he has this man who's offering to take you on a dream holiday.

What does he want in return?

Because nothing enough is for free.

On the other hand, one week in a paradise island is amazing.

I just wanted to get away.

I said to him that...

Okay, well, sure, let's do it.

I should have said no, I should have refused a thousand times.

But I didn't.

My sister, once I mentioned that I'm going to Mauritius, I think was a bit

jealous. Because she didn't like CJ.

Why? I mean, I think he's a great guy.

It was just a case of, there's something about him I don't like.

It wasn't something that she could put her finger on.

I just don't like him.

The next time I saw CJ, he said to me... So he can't come with me, but he's

already promised me the whole thing, and the ticket is already paid for, so...

CJ also then mentioned...

I would need to take a pair of shoes with me.

He wanted me to wear these shoes, and once I was there, I would hand them over

to a friend of his who would come and meet me.

What's inside these shoes?

It doesn't matter.

And he said to me... It's actually better if you don't know that.

His approach to it was so light that it didn't seem like anything serious.

Okay, well, sure, let's do it.

It was bugging me a little bit.

How can somebody pay so much for you to go all the way there? What's inside

these things?

You actually just don't want to ruin it by thinking too much.

I just don't want to know. I just want to go and have fun, that's all.

The day before I was supposed to fly out, he J -phoned me and he said he's

coming to pick me up.

I'm going to take you to a hotel because it's close to the airport anyway.

There were so many things going through my head, but I felt confident that

things would go okay, you know?

Once we were in that car, I could feel a little bit of tension.

I didn't want to make it worse, so we were struggling a bit with conversation.

And we go to a hotel.

This is where he pulls out this plastic bag.

And he opens it up and takes out this pair of shoes.

And I look at these shoes and I think, oh my gosh, what a horrible color.

It's like this tan color.

And I just think, well, what on earth am I going to wear with this? What's going

to match this?

I don't like the fact that they don't have a strap at the back. I don't like

sound that they make when I wear them.

The shoes are just a bad thing altogether.

I'm thinking about these shoes and there must be something in them.

But I didn't pay too much attention to that. I just pushed it aside.

DJ said, turn your phone off.

Why do you want to speak to anybody now? You might as well just turn it off.

I have a feeling of dread.

I'm feeling fed up. I've just had enough now.

So I went to sleep.

That little gap where you start waking up.

You don't want to wake up at all.

Please don't let me wake up. I just want to stay here.

I go shower.

I change.

CJ told me that once I got to Mauritius, he would have a friend come and pick

the shoes up from me.

He gave me a SIM card. He gave me dollars as well, and I'm on my way.

I don't want to think about the fact that I'm doing something illegal.

I don't think of consequences. I don't think of anything else.

Let's go.

Ignorance is definitely bliss.

In the car, I started getting a bit nervous, and I had the feeling that I

back out.

I said to him, maybe it's not such a good idea that I go.

I'm like, I want to know what's inside the heat.

All of a sudden, his whole attitude changed.

It was a side of him that I'd never seen before.

Nothing scary about the situation, so why would you even hesitate?

He got upset.

Do you think I would put you in danger?

You know, what kind of a person do you think I am?

It was very intimidating.

There is just no option of backing out now.

Once I got to the airport, CJ took my bag out of the car and then he kissed me

on the cheek. He said, have a nice time and I will see you soon.

I'm quite glad to be getting away from him.

The strain is getting to me.

It's a little bit edgy.

I did phone my sister to say goodbye before I left.

And she was like, have fun.

I miss you. I love you.

Take care of yourself. Don't do anything naughty. I'll be back in one week.

I don't like the noise of the shoes when I'm walking.

It did cross my mind. You know, there's something inside you. How well are these

things put together? They kept flicking.

What happens if something comes out of them?

For me, it feels like an eternity.

It's slow, one step at a time.

Concentrates on the beach, concentrates on the excitement, concentrates on the

good part of it.

It's kind of like this part of it goes in slow motion.

I'm walking through that little door frame and nothing beeps.

Nobody says anything to me. I'm just walking. I'm just another person in the

crowd.

When I get back, life's going to be easier.

Everything will be okay.

Mauritius, it's such a beautiful place.

The beaches are stunning.

It's got white sand, that beautiful blue ocean.

I just want to get there. I just want to have fun. That's it.

On the plane I'd had quite a few vodkas, so I'm already in a relaxed state.

You come down a little ramp and you can basically see the customs ahead of you.

Everyone else walking around was excited. They were happy. They were

Everyone was just basically in such a good mood.

Just behind the customs, against the wall, there was a group of people.

There was a tall man there.

The way he looked at me, it sent chills down my spine.

I just thought, these guys are waiting for me.

It was just a dreaded feeling.

It made me nervous.

It made me sweaty. It made me feel sick. I just thought, no.

I looked at them, and the way they looked at me, I thought, that's it.

It's over.

It's like game over.

I made a beeline for the bathroom.

I can see in the mirror that I am a bit pale.

This is definitely affecting me.

I've got to sit down, I've got to relax.

I sort of just run, but where do I go to?

CJ knows where I stay.

He knows where I work.

He knows who my sister is.

Where do you go?

I remember looking down at these shoes and thinking, okay, now I really want to

know what's inside here.

So I took one off my foot, and I actually turned it around, and it looks

You actually can't see if they've put anything inside it or if it's been

You can't see anything.

I'd been sitting in the bathroom for quite a while now, so I've got to now

moving.

I've splashed my face with a bit of water.

I look okay.

Let's go.

I'm trying to smile and be happy, but I'm really not feeling it.

And these people are still watching me.

It's a dreadful feeling.

You're walking the plank.

One step at a time.

The whole entire time, my eyes are focused on them.

They don't take their eyes off of me.

I see everyone else taking their suitcases and walking and going along.

That's where I'm supposed to be. I just know I'm not going there.

The lady at the passport control is smiling and she takes my passport.

I'm not really hearing anything she's saying.

I'm basically in this tunnel and I couldn't get rid of this feeling inside

that this is just not good, that something bad is going to happen.

The same guy who had the menacing look, he's the one who says, we've been

waiting for you.

It's like game over. You're playing this great exciting game and you just lose.

Straight away it was get off.

Can we have your shoes?

Turns them over and he pushes this long crochet needle into the back of them and

As he pulls this out, it's got a white powder in it.

I'm a bit shocked, so my eyes are open now I'm watching.

And they pull the bottom of the sole off, and he takes out compressed plastic

bags, and it's stuck into the shoe where they've hollowed it out.

He opens up this plastic and takes the powder and rubs it.

He smells it and he says to me, do you know what it is?

It's heroin.

This is where I know I'm in big trouble because my whole life I've heard just

how bad heroin is. It's the worst drug ever.

And I'm carrying this stuff.

I've never even seen heroin in my life before.

And I'm sitting with...

A mountain of this stuff in front of me.

I'm in big trouble.

The man said to me that... The sentence is 45 years.

I'll be 65.

That's the age I'll be living in prison.

No.

My life is over.

I will never have children. I will never get married. I will never see my family

again. My life is over.

That's it.

I had a little backpack with me.

As they were searching through this, they came across this card that CJ had

given me.

They know that it's Morrison.

Who is your contact?

His name is CJ.

He also found a little slip of paper with the hotel name on it.

How were you to make contact?

CJ was going to let me know when I got here.

Who gave this to me? Where do I have to go?

Who do I have to give it to? Who's it for?

I don't know.

Okay, this is what is going to happen.

He says to me that if I go and meet this man so that they can organize a sting

operation and they catch this guy, then I will go home. How does that sound?

I was afraid, but there's a door out, there's a way out. That's basically all

focus on.

I don't think of the consequences.

Will you help us?

I pretty much agreed to it, yes.

This is it. I'm going to do the sting operation.

I guess so.

I just want to go home.

I just want to go home.

I come out of the airport.

I get led by one of the policemen.

He takes my suitcase and puts it in the back of a taxi.

And he gets into the front and acts as the driver.

And the rest got into a car behind us.

As we drive away from the airport, I can see the ocean.

And I remember this feeling of sadness and this feeling of disappointment.

I had the feeling that I'd never ever put my foot in that ocean.

Then CJ phones.

Hey, CJ.

He says to me, why did it take you so long?

I tried to make everything seem okay.

He knows I love the ocean, so for him and for me it seems like the most

thing in the world.

No, no, we just stopped at the beach first.

Maybe at that point CJ did have a little bit of a suspicious niggle.

He then says to me, I'm going to give you the name of another hotel.

Change hotels?

Hotel Amr.

He said to me, go there.

All right.

Bye.

Destination Kane.

We pull into the hotel, and the driver gets out.

He takes my bag.

We had to go up two flights of stairs. I remember seeing geckos on the wall.

I remember that because when I was little we used to go to game parks

and you've got these geckos running around in all these little hotel rooms

the walls.

And for me that was quite sad because this is not a holiday.

We walk into the hotel room and everybody comes in and we wait for CJ to

I felt nervous because I didn't know whether CJ would realize that this is a

trap. Hello?

There's a police officer sitting next to me on the bed, and her head is really

close to mine, so she can hear everything CJ is saying.

And he says to me that I should speak in Afrikaans. He starts speaking in

Afrikaans.

Maybe at that point CJ had gotten a bit nervous, or maybe he knew it.

And if CJ had a suspicion, then this guy wouldn't come, and I'd be stuck with 45

years.

I'm panicking, big time.

I tried to make everything seem okay, and he seemed to go along with that.

He said that he's going to get his friend to phone me, so I must just wait

him to call.

So they said, well, we wait.

The atmosphere at this moment is definitely getting a bit more charged.

I'm feeling tired.

I'm feeling frustrated.

I'm feeling fed up.

I've just had enough now.

Now the phone rings again and nobody speaks.

The man just nods and I answer it.

and somebody introduced themselves as CJ's friend.

Okay. So he said to me, I must let my hair loose so that he knows who I am.

Put the shoes into a bag, and he will meet me outside the hotel.

All right. Bye.

They basically told me to do exactly what he said.

They said that I must make sure that I give him the bag. They said to me that

they can't do anything unless I actually hand him the bag.

I brushed my hair, let it loose, took the shoes, put them inside the bag.

I think the police lady noticed that I was nervous because my heart was beating

at 1 ,000 miles per hour.

She said to me, just relax, everything's going to be fine.

At this point, I definitely have no confidence in these guys because they

seem to be speaking too much on phones to other people.

Surely a sting operation should have other people waiting.

I'm terrified of the dog.

It's one of the things that I'm most afraid of, actually.

And looking out across this road, I just thought, how am I going to do this?

If CJ had a suspicion, he would get me killed out there.

I remember thinking what it's like in Johannesburg. People walk up to your car

windows and they shoot you.

This guy, he could have a gun in his car.

I am a walking target.

I'm feeling sick.

I was terrified.

I'm the worm on the end of the line. That's it.

I'm just the little worm.

All I could think about is I just want to go home.

So I've got to do whatever these people want me to do.

I didn't feel very safe at all, at all, at all.

I do see a 4x4.

It's quite dark though, so I didn't know whether it was the right one or not,

but there's no other car in sight.

I do want to know where the police are.

So I want to just have a quick look, where are they? But I know that if I do

that, the driver would realize.

So I fight that urge down, and I just got to keep walking.

As I approach the car, I see him for the first time.

He had a very cold...

Impersonal stare.

Icy eyes, actually.

It was horrible.

Chilling. When he looked at me, it was... And there's a woman next to him.

Then he bends down a little bit and reaches for something in the car.

And this is literally where my heart stops.

I wondered, what's going on behind me? Has he seen something?

It was a terrible feeling because I didn't know whether he was pulling out a

gun.

I think if he has a knife on him, he could stab me.

Anything could happen.

I'm the person who's in the middle.

And then all of a sudden I see a roll of notes in his hand. So kind of like take

a deep breath, relax.

I just want to get this over and done with now.

I hand him the bag as he hands me the money.

And as I push the bag through the car, I notice that his eyes flick up.

His whole expression changes. It's like a fear panic.

He slammed his foot down on that accelerator so fast that that car flew.

He actually threw the bag out of the car.

They start running up the road. I still remember thinking, these people are on

their feet and they're running after a car.

I mean, how ridiculous.

Every single impression I had of them was right because I could have been

out there and these guys, they're never going to catch this guy.

I mean, what kind of an operation is this? And it was just a case of, I'm in

serious trouble, and these guys are definitely not going to help me.

I could pick up the anger, the frustration.

They were quite, it's almost as if I was being blamed for the disappointment.

They were shouting. I should have made him stay there longer.

They should have done a better job, but it's too late now.

It was worrying because now I kept thinking, well, if they don't have him,

will be the one who's going to go down for 45 years.

We get into the car and we leave the hotel.

They take me to Lion Barracks Police Station.

There's a long corridor and then you've got three or four doors.

I walk into the cell.

They've got a mattress on a concrete slab and this is basically where I'm

supposed to be sleeping.

I remember thinking that the cockroaches in this country are in steroids because

I've never seen any so big in my life before.

One of the officers came to the gate.

He was quite aggressive.

He said, do you know what you've done?

You are responsible for killing our people.

Our children are taking this stuff.

Now you're going to sit in this country for 45 years.

My first few days in police cell were absolute hell.

I cried a lot.

I thought about my family a lot. I thought about home.

I thought about the fact that I'd never see anybody again.

I don't have the capacity to deal with something like this. I just can't do it.

On the third day, they'd let me speak to my sister.

He dialed the number.

He waited for my sister to answer.

Then he gave me the phone.

That's when I said to my sister, I said, Avalon, something went wrong and I've

been arrested.

And she just kept saying, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm so sorry.

I remember that and I remember she was crying and I just kept telling her, yes,

I love you and I'm so sorry and I just don't know what to do.

The whole conversation was just heartbreaking, really.

She cried so much.

I really felt bad.

I love you.

I mean, I'm supposed to be the older sister. I'm supposed to be the role

and I'm sitting in police cell.

I mean, what do you say to that? How do you even begin to answer questions?

One day my investigating officer came to see me and he said to me that they have

found a suspect and they have to do an identification parade.

And once I point him out, then he will be charged with trafficking.

If I did not cooperate, it would be mentioned in court.

It's not really a question of you have a choice in the matter.

The day before I had to go do the identification parade, I had a Mauritian

come and tell me that she had gotten a message from the guy that I was supposed

to pick up.

If you know what's good for you, you won't identify that man.

If I picked him out of that line -up, then my life would be in danger,

basically. If I know what's good for me, I won't do it. I must remember the fact

that it's not my country and that I'm a foreigner here.

If you don't cooperate, you get a higher sentence. If you do cooperate, you

could be killed by somebody. So I don't know what's better, actually, death or

45 years.

I'd watched movies where I know that there's a screen and you stand behind it

they can't see you.

What really happened, I think I still have nightmares about it.

It's absolute craziness.

I mean, I'd been given a message how dangerous these people are.

And I've actually got to pick the suspect out from this crowd.

They have a huge area there. It's open to the public. So any time Dick and

can walk in there, I mean, if I'd recognized this guy, what would I have

And how am I supposed to remember what he looks like?

It's basically impossible.

It was very, very dark on that street. It was maybe a 30 -second meeting.

I remember I was shaking.

I was sweating. I was feeling sick.

It was very hard not to throw up.

I felt like I was actually going to pass out.

So I'm out there in the open.

Somebody could just take a shot at my head and there's absolutely nothing that

anybody will do about it.

I think a severe case of paranoia had set in because everybody was just

at me, everybody was looking at me.

It made me very uncomfortable.

I must have been in this yard for about 10, 15 minutes, but it felt like a

lifetime.

and nobody really cares what happens to you because you're down there by

yourself, and that's it.

I told the officers that I'm very sorry, I just can't see anybody.

I just can't see anyone.

They were upset.

Now we brought him here and you can't take him out?

You can't identify him?

Why did you say you could identify him when you can't?

It was up to you to help us finally put him behind bars.

They were very, very angry.

You said you could identify the man and now we brought you here and you can't do

it. Why didn't you pick him out? Why didn't you pick him out?

This man is a big trafficker on the island.

We've been trying to catch him for many years and now the whole thing is just

messed up.

Then one of the officers took me back downstairs again. He stopped in front of

room and he said, you see the man now?

There was a man standing there against the counter and he had tan shoes on.

quite ironic because it was the same color of the shoes that I had to wear.

And he said, you see, you see, this is the man, this is the man.

I looked at him and I just didn't recognize him.

It's not him.

Once I'd been taken to the main office, the guy was actually brought downstairs

with his lawyer.

As he winked and smiled, I saw a gold tooth.

And I remember the night in the car when he smiled and said hello.

The gold tooth.

So that kind of blew me away.

The police officer said, you see he's smiling because he's just gotten away

45 years.

It was just, it was the man. But it's too late.

I'd already done that identification parade. I hadn't identified him, so.

There's absolutely nothing they can do now anyway.

He's out of there.

It just kept going through my head over and over again.

I'm going to jail for 45 years.

The journey to the prison was a very long one

for me because there were so many things going through my head.

We get out of the car, and there's a little bell on the outside. They ring

Somebody on the opposite side opens it, and she lets you inside.

You hear a lot of people shouting and screaming, and I was already shaking. I

think this might have just put me over the edge.

I'm now really, really not well.

I just didn't know how I was going to get through it.

All the programs that I've seen on prison, you just think of getting there

meeting this huge, big, fat woman that's just going to turn you into her

girlfriend, and I'm just not ready for that.

As I put my foot into that block, the whole block just went silent, and

everybody just looked at me.

And you look through all these faces, and you're just thinking, oh, my soul.

How am I going to survive?

I felt like I'm a little speck of nothing.

I could feel all the hair rising on my neck.

All these eyes were just dissecting me.

It was horrifying.

At the end of the evening at lock -up, they come, and an officer told me that

I'd be sleeping in cell one.

I had a Muslim girl called Nazima.

The other lady was a Creole lady, and her name was Marie -Fran.

I just kept thinking, how am I going to live here?

Our prison is right next door to the men's prison.

And you'd actually hear...

the men beating each other or the men raping each other you can actually hear

the pain and suffering that they're going through and you just can't do

just want them to shut up because you can't do anything

until maybe

two days later i didn't stop crying and nazima said to me you know what it's

better you just stop crying now because there's nothing you can do to change

this

There were about 145 people in that prison.

It's concrete.

It's filthy.

Oh, it was disgusting, really.

The bugs, the cockroaches.

Sometimes you even see a rat running around.

It's just so unhygienic. I don't know how people survive in that place.

It's horrible.

80 % of the Mauritian population are either there for trafficking of drugs,

consummation of drugs, stealing because they need to take drugs, or prostituting

themselves because of drugs.

The heroin addicts are terrible in that place. They walk in there like

skeletons. And sometimes I used to sit there and I'd say, you know, God, I'm

glad that I got caught because...

I would never want to be responsible for something like this.

This is what I brought to this country.

This is what I did.

I've seen girls crawl on all fours looking for their syringe and they're

hallucinating. And their eyes are the scariest thing about them because they

the eyes are the window to the soul. And when you look into these people's eyes,

it's all hollow underneath.

Well, I used to think that they're soulless, that they've killed their

I had been awaiting trial for a year and a half.

When I started talking to other girls, I found out that at least five of them

had been caught exactly the same way with heroin in their shoes.

And when talking about CJ, I also discovered that some of them knew CJ and

been set up by him as well. We were decoys.

It actually makes me angry that...

So many people have fallen into the same trap as me.

He knew exactly what was in those foods.

I mean, this is heroin.

I was so angry and upset with CJ at that moment that I really did, I just wanted

to kill him.

The first letter from my sister was really hard.

I took the letter and stuck it underneath my nose and smelled it.

The handwriting, it's something that she touched.

For anybody else, it's just a letter, but it's like a piece of that person.

And I cried.

I cried that day.

A lot.

Same, and she wrote...

She did. She told me she loved me. But, you know, there's nothing really they

can do.

I remember that she described the way that for her, losing me was like

losing my mom again. It felt like to her that I died because I'm not there

anymore. I kind of deserve it, but my family don't.

For me, it became a case of, my life is already over.

I've got nothing left to lose.

It's actually a very dangerous thing to have somebody believe that life doesn't

exist for them anymore.

If only somebody who had something to lose, something you can bargain with,

you can control them a little bit.

But when somebody has nothing left to bargain with, what kind of boundary can

you set for them?

It can drive you to do insane, crazy things.

One morning I went to go and have a shower. I put soap on my hair. I've got

running down in my eyes.

And all of a sudden the water stopped.

I screamed to somebody to please close the tap because there was a girl washing

her clothes there.

She just ignored me.

And the more I screamed for her to open it, the more she ignored me.

I put the bottle in her face and she smacks the bottle.

And I punched her, she punched me, I punched her.

And then I just jumped on her and started strangling her.

And I just didn't let go.

Everything that you do is for survival.

I lost it, definitely.

I was taken to solitary confinement.

I get led downstairs.

There's not a lot of people there.

There's no speaking to anybody.

You go absolutely insane.

Absolutely insane.

You don't really exist. Nobody even knows you exist. They forget completely

about you.

It's a cell that has no beds and no windows.

There's just four walls, yourself, and that's it.

Sometimes I'd scream at them for hours and hours and hours to come and open the

door.

You could actually kill in a place like that very easily.

You could.

And you'd probably sleep better at night knowing you did it.

Seven years is a long time, huh?

It was hard to accept.

But at the same time, I got one of the lowest sentences that had ever been

handed down in the history of Mauritius.

A Bible was actually a very important thing for me. In Psalms it talks a lot

about people who suffer.

I could relate a lot to what was said, how I felt at times.

In prison I was basically the person somebody came to whenever they needed a

letter written, whenever they wanted to know something about the laws, whenever

they wanted to fight for something.

Writing letters was a way of hoping.

I didn't just sit there and accept my situation.

I was trying to make it better, trying to do something.

I'd have like a little vase of flowers in there.

I had pictures of my mom.

For me, photos were the most important thing that I had there because it's the

only way that you see your family.

You actually talk to them.

And when I look outside the window, I can see the ocean.

On those really dark, stormy nights, in cyclone season especially, because it's

hot and humid, you can actually smell the salt from the sea.

Sometimes I'll dream of my mom, and the dream is so real that I can smell her.

I can see her walking.

She's in front of me.

There's a bit of a breeze.

So her hair's blowing.

Sometimes she'll turn and she'll look at me.

She's got big, beautiful eyes.

She's a really nice lady.

I think I'll miss her until the day I die.

If my mother had still been around, I would never have gone to Mauritius.

I don't think so.

Definitely.

One day, the lady who works in accounts called me downstairs.

She brought out a piece of paper and made me sign.

And she said to me, I'm going to fetch all your money.

I was a bit puzzled. And she said to me, you know why, hey?

And I looked at her and said, you're going home.

I was kind of in shock. It was kind of, it was unbelievable.

I just stood there in shock.

It spread across the prison pretty fast, so before I knew it, I had everyone on

top of me.

It was an amazing feeling, really, and it was also hope for everybody.

They have a superstition where they say that you should never look behind you

because you come back if you say that.

But I remember I looked at the building, I looked at the place, I looked at the

people.

It's a different kind of air.

It's almost like a heaviness has been lifted off your shoulders because the

entire time that you're inside that place, you're not living, you just

And for the first time in so many years, I felt like I'm awakening. My soul's

alive. I know I'm going to be living for the first time in eight years.

It was the best day of my life.

It was. It still is the best day of my life. I'm going home.

Do you see everyone waiting there?

It was more than I expected.

I hadn't seen my sister in eight years.

She changed a lot. She'd grown up. She's a woman now.

I had a lot of time to think about why I did things and to accept things.

I put myself in this situation.

I kind of deserve it, but my family don't.

Even now, I'm outside and I still live with that guilty feeling every single

day.

I've learned that nothing in life is easy.

That if something sounds too good to be true, it is.

I learned to be alone. I learned more about myself and what I want in life.

Not many things scare me anymore.

And I can basically go wherever I want and do whatever I want because I'm free.