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(exciting music)

(subdued music)

- [Narrator]Manhattan, that fabulous city of 1,001 nights,

that Baghdad on the Hudson,

with its towers and minarets of concrete and steel.

And beyond the city are the dwellings of rich men

(thunder rumbling) (rain falling)

And the palaces of the merchant princes.

Listen. (clock chiming)

It is midnight, (thunder rumbling)

With danger abroad and stalking the unwary.

And thieves, the enemies of all honest men,

lurking in the shadows, watching slyly,

lying in wait to ply their nefarious trade.

While in the marketplaces

are the faithful watchmen of the night,

(thunder rumbling) (rain falling)

Protecting the treasure houses of the city,

ever on guard, lest robbers break through and steal.

(tense music)

(thunder booming)

(tense music continues)

(thunder booming)

(thunder booming)

(rain falling)

(alarm ringing)

- Alarm, Security Trust and Savings Bank,

24th Street branch, a 32.

- Attention cars 551, 621, and 14,

Security Trust and Savings Bank, 24th Street branch.

(dramatic music) (alarm ringing)

(glass breaking)

(sirens wailing)

(dramatic ominous music)

(footsteps shuffling) (subdued music)

- [Police Officer] All right, you come on out,

and with your hands up!

(suspenseful music)

- This is all a mistake, honest.

I was just trying to put it back.

- [Police Officer] Remarkable. Come on, you.

- Oh, oo! (objects thudding)

- I assure you, Captain, everything will be all right.

As president of the bank, I assume full responsibility.

- Okay, Mr. Kellogg, if that's the way you want it.

It's your bank and your money.

Come on, Jim.

- Thank you, gentlemen,

for your understanding and cooperation.

- I just hope you know what you're doing, Mr. Kellogg.

Personally, I think the guy should be put away.

- Yes, yes, yes. And be sure you go out the back door.

Well, Ogden, what are we going to do with you?

- It is quite a problem, isn't it?

- Oh, I can't understand you,

four times in the last six months.

First you took those bonds,

then the traction company's payroll,

and then the night watchman's lunchbox.

And now, confound it, last night!

- It's getting worse, isn't it?

- Haven't you any model of responsibility?

- Oh yes. J.W., I always put the things back, now don't I?

- Yes, but why do you steal them in the first place?

- Huh. I don't know.

I don't even know I take 'em 'til I find them on me.

- Oh, good heavens.

What would our depositors think

if they knew you were taking their money home at night?

- I guess they'd be pretty mad.

- Mad! It would just cause the collapse of this institution.

An institution founded by your grandfather.

What do you suppose he would say if he were here now?

- He'd be awful mad.

- Ogden, something must be done.

Do you realize that the only reason

that you are not behind bars at this moment

is because I was able to convince the police

that you are mentally underprivileged?

- Yes. - This can't go on.

- Oh, no, sir.

- There's no telling what you may do next.

- It is pretty bad, isn't it?

- Bad, look, my boy, as a suggestion,

why don't you go and see a good psychoanalyst?

- Psychoanalyst? - Yes, talk to him,

explain to him exactly what you've been doing,

the lapses, must be a mental condition.

Any good doctor would be able to-

Confound it, where are my cigarettes?

- Oh, have one of mine, J.W. - Oh, thank you.

Now I'll say-

Where did you get that cigarette case?

- This? I don't know.

- It's mine! - It is?

- You stole it. - I did?

- This is the last straw. - It is?

- Get out and don't you come back here until you're cured.

- Oh dear.

Your lighter.

(door shuts)

- Uh-huh, and it's always preceded

by a spasmodic twitching of the ear.

- Mostly the right one. - Eh.

Then a blackout or temporary dulling of the sensibilities.

Then, when you return to normal,

you discover that you've stolen something, right?

- It's getting so I'm afraid to look in my pockets.

I never know what I'm gonna find. Oh dear.

- Hmm, man's tie. (rattle rattling)

License. Baby's rattle.

Pair of pliers.

Oh, that's very interesting.

- All that in just the three blocks I walked to your office.

- It all adds up, Mr. Trulow,

makes an astonishingly beautiful pattern.

- Don't they have patterns like that in Sing Sing?

(chuckles) - Very amusing.

Would you mind stepping over here for a few moments?

Just lay down there, please.

Yes, well, we may as well face it, Mr. Trulow,

you are a kleptomaniac. - Kleptomaniac?

A kleptomaniac?

- Surely you must have guessed it.

- I knew it must be something.

- Now that's right, just relax.

Now close your eyes.

There, that's fine.

This is going to be very simple.

Most frequently, kleptomania is the result

of an emotional upheaval

which leaves a scar on the subconscious.

These scars often manifest themselves as frustrations.

- Oh, they do?

- Mr. Trulow, have you ever been in love?

- Kleptomania or no kleptomania,

that's one subject I do not care to discuss.

And if you don't mind,

we'll leave my personal life out of this.

- Mr. Trulow, Mr. Trulow. - Well, I don't care anything-

- I'm sorry, if you want me to help you, you must relax.

- I am relaxed.

- About this romance, tell me exactly what happened.

- We were engaged, she and I.

- Yes, go on.

- She married somebody else, not I.

- How long ago was that?

- Six months. - Uh-huh,

shortly before you experienced

the first symptoms of kleptomania.

- Yes, that's right.

- Well, Mr. Trulow, this is going

to be even simpler than I thought.

- You mean you can cure me?

- The cure lies only within yourself.

It is your task now, Mr. Trulow,

to normalize what is obviously an emotional hunger.

To put it crudely, you must find another romance.

- Another girl?

- The girl, and you will know her when you meet her.

At the sound of her voice your heart will start pumping

and your nerves will begin tingling.

- And my ears will begin twitching

and I'll end up stealing a girdle.

Oh no, no, not me.

- Anyway, my boy, that's your cure, the only cure.

You may get up now.

- Isn't there some other way,

doctor? - None.

If you get into trouble with the police in the meantime,

have them call me.

- Thank you, Doctor. - Not at all.

And by the way, if you don't mind,

I'd like to have my watch. - Huh?

(awkward music)

- Thank you. Good day. - Good day.

(light playful music)

(people talking and laughing)

(comical music)

(awkward music)

(light playful music)

(tense music)

(footsteps falling)

(girl shrieks and thuds)

Did you hurt yourself?

- No. - Can I help you?

- I'm all right, thank you. - I'll pick up your things.

- Just like to meet the kind of person

that would throw a thing like that on the sidewalk.

- You would? Are you sure you're all right?

- Yes, thank you very much.

- You're welcome. (gentle dreamy music)

(coin clinking)

(phone rattling)

- For you, boss, Sally.

(foreboding music) - Hello, Sally.

Oh, you did? Fine, fine.

Look, you better give it to me in case anything happens.

(foreboding music intensifies)

- It's gone, my compact!

Yes, but the combination to the safe was in it.

I'll call you back.

(anxious music)

- Yes, sir, Mr. Ogden.

Mr. Ogden, did you see the doctor man?

Did he fix you up?

But did he say what is ailing you?

- He says I'm a kleptomaniac.

- Oh, that don't sound good.

- It isn't, it means I go around stealing things

without being conscious of it.

- Mr. Ogden, about that kleptomaniac business,

what'll they do?

Put you in the court house or the big house?

- Neither one. - That's good.

- Means I've gotta get a girl. - A girl?

- But I won't. - You won't?

- I'll show them.

I'll just stay right here in this apartment 'til I'm cured.

- Yes, I shall be glad when you get all right, sir.

Because between you taking them things,

without them knowing it,

and me putting them back, without them knowing it,

it's just a question and a matter of time

'til the jailhouse catches up with us.

Here you are, sir. - Thanks.

- You didn't borrow anything today, did you?

- Oh, just a few odd and ends,

but I left them in the doctor's office.

- Oh. - Haven't had time

to pick up anything else.

Oh dear. - Uh-oh.

- I wonder where I could have picked a thing like that up.

- Well, see if it's got an address on it,

and I'll take it back.

- Oh, something in here.

What do you suppose this means?

- That must be out of town telephone number,

because New York ain't got no LQUR on.

- Well, doesn't seem to be anything else in here.

Probably be an ad in tomorrow's paper.

- Yes. (newspaper rustling)

- Did anybody phone? - No, sir.

Well, I'll go fix you some dinner now, sir.

- Willie? - Yes, sir.

- Come here. - You mean me?

- What's been torn out of the paper here?

- Let me see, that's funny, probably a paper shortage.

- Where is it? - it?

Won't you have a drink, sir, Mr. Ogden?

- Give it to me.

- I sure wish you wouldn't see it.

- Willie. - Yes.

- [Ogden] What'd you tear this out for?

- Well, you know how you is.

I was scared if you saw it, your ears might start flapping,

and you'd just naturally take off.

- That's silly. - That's what I keep hoping.

- It's beautiful, isn't it?

Wonder how much a thing like this is worth.

- About 20 years if they catch you with it.

(Willie gasping)

I ain't got it, I don't know what it is, but I ain't got it.

- Get over there. - I'm getting.

- Hurry up. Get moving. - I'm moving.

- So there you are. - You've got a gun.

- She sure is. - Get up

and get your hands up.

Now let's have it.

- Whatever it is, why don't you give it to her?

She wants it bad. - Certainly.

What have I got?

- Save the comedy and hand over that combination.

- Mr. Ogden, you done done it now.

- It isn't true.

Do I look like the kind of a fellow

who would steal a lady's combination?

- [Sally] Not unless there were

half a million dollars in it, now hand it over.

- Why don't you give it to her?

- You be quiet.

Lady, that's one thing I know I didn't do.

- Okay.

(phone rattling)

Wise up, 9158.

- That is the jail house now.

- Yes, that's right.

- Hello? Yeah, Sally, what happened?

Yes. Mm-hmm, yeah.

And who is he? Mm-hm.

What's the address?

- Shore Manor, apartment 2309.

- The boys will be right over.

(phone clatters)

Shore Manor, apartment 2309.

Make it snappy. - All right.

- Get those hands up.

Who are you working for anyway?

- Oh, well, my last job was a bank.

- Isn't that a little out of line for a pick pocket?

- Oh, I'm not a pick pocket. - Get 'em up.

How much you knock the bank off for?

- $50,000. - Hmm, not bad.

- Oh, I could have had more. - Get 'em up.

- Of course I put it all back.

- A sense of humor too.

(buzzer buzzing) What's that?

- That's just the door buzzer buzzing. I'm up.

- Listen, mister, this is your last chance.

My compact, where is it? - Compact?

I thought you lost your combination.

- Do I get it or don't I?

- Oh, well, all this time,

there's been a misunderstanding, you see.

- You had your chance. Open the door.

- It's practically open.

- I'm not a thief.

Please, please don't make me tell you what I am.

I'm a bad name.

- Oh, come right in, sir, come right in, sir.

I'm awful glad to see you.

- I'm Inspector Callahan, Detective Bureau.

- Uh-oh. - Oh.

I've been expecting you. - Here it is, here it is,

please don't turn me in for a little thing like this.

I'm a very sick man.

- Put your hands down, down!

- [Inspector] I wanna talk to the young lady

that just came in here, Sally Martin.

- What does he wanna see you about?

- Are you kidding?

Bring him in, sit him down,

give him a drink, a cigar, anything.

(door slamming)

- It's the law. - Yeah, the law.

How do you do, Mr. Law? - Inspector Callahan,

Detective Bureau. - I didn't do it.

Get him a chair.

How about a cigar, drink, smoke? Anything.

- I have a cigar and I never drink when I'm working.

- Oh, you don't. - Where's Sally?

Oh, Sally? Where's Sally?

- Sally? I don't know. - Well find her, find her.

Sally? Sally?

Oh, she must be around here somewhere. Sally?

Sally? Sally? - Coming, dear.

- She's coming. (footsteps falling)

(kisses smooching)

- What do you want, precious? Oh, oh dear.

Darling, why didn't you tell me we had company?

- Hello, Sally. - Hello, Sally.

- Well, of all people, Inspector Callahan. How are you?

Darling, I didn't know you two knew each other.

- Oh, oh, we don't. - We just met.

I saw you downstairs a minute ago,

and I couldn't believe my eyes, thought I'd come up

and we'll have a little talk. - How nice.

- How was it down in the Caribbean?

- Oh, wonderful, just fine.

There's no place like home though.

- Yes, that's what I always say too.

I hope we can get the district attorney

to see it the same way.

- Yes. Darling, give the inspector a light.

- Oh, a light. It's broke. - Oh, here, try this one.

- Oh, this one. (lighter snaps)

Oh, that's broke too.

- Get a match. - A match.

Match, got a match, oh, I got a match, here's a match.

This one right here, I got it. Oh.

(Willie blowing) (flame roaring)

- The boyfriend seems a little nervous, doesn't he?

- Yes, yes, of the fire, I guess.

- By the way, what brings you back to New York, Sally?

- Oh, I came back to get married.

- Oh. - Married? Congratulations.

- Oh, silly boy, it's us. - Us? But how?

- You see, we're still on our honeymoon.

- Well, this is a surprise.

Congratulations, both of you.

Why didn't you tell me?

- Well, it's so new, I'm not used to it yet. Oh.

But I'm making progress. (kisses smooching)

- What's the new name, Sally?

- Oh, oh, tell him who we are, dear.

- Ogden Spencer Trulow III.

How do you do?

- Well, in that case, I'll be moving along.

- Oh, please don't.

We were just about to make some cocktails,

weren't we, Sally?

- Thanks, I'll take a rain check.

- Oh, please, Sally will be upset. Won't you, dear?

- The inspector knows best, dear. Goodbye.

- Yes, I'll be running along.

We'll be seeing each other, and I'm sure I'll find you here

if I want to get in touch with you.

- Oh. - Won't I, Sally?

- Oh, yes, yes, of course. - We'll be here.

- Goodbye, Mr. Trulow. - Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Sally. - Goodbye.

- Come again soon, won't you?

Oh boy, Willie. isn't this wonderful?

- As you were. Put 'em down.

- I don't understand. What's this all about?

- Look, you did me a favor.

Now I'm gonna do you one.

Get out of town, but quick. - All right.

- Mr. Ogden, shall I pack you up?

- Yeah. No. - No?

- Wait a minute.

I can't leave town now, we just met. Sorry.

(Ogden chuckles nervously)

(door slamming)

Oh, oh. - Mr. Ogden, you all right?

- No. No, I'm not.

What's the matter with me? - I don't know.

- This is it. - This is?

- That's she. - She?

- It's her. It's just like the doctor said it would be.

My heart would start thumping,

and my nerves would start tingling,

and my ear would stop twitching, and-

Sally, will you marry me?

- Marry you? Are you crazy?

- Oh, no. You're just what the doctor ordered.

He really did.

- You better get yourself another doctor.

- Oh, he's all right.

After all, you started this and I need you.

You really oughta marry me.

Then we can get outta town together.

- You almost sound as though you mean it.

- Oh, I do mean it. Honest, I do.

Willie will tell you I do.

Tell her I do, Willie. - He do.

- See? - How about Friday then?

- Friday, you and I?

You mean you will? - Friday it is.

1:00, the little church around the corner.

Now don't be late.

- Oh, Sally, you won't regret this, wait and see.

(door shutting)

- All right, Sally, what goes?

- It's all taken care of, I got it back.

- What about the guy?

- It's all squared off I told you.

Come on, let's go.

♪ Da da da da da da da dee ♪

♪ Da dum dum dee ♪

♪ Da da da da dum ♪

♪ Da dum dee ♪

♪ Sally and Ogden oh how happy we'll be ♪

♪ Da da da da dee dee dee dee ♪

♪ We'll be so happy you wait and see ♪

♪ Sally and Ogden that's you and me ♪

♪ Da da da dum ♪

♪ Da da da dee da da da doe ♪

(door creaking) ♪ Da da da dee dee dee ♪

(kisses smooching)

- Who you kissing? I oughta knock you off for that.

- You're not Sally. Sally?

- Get your hat, we're going for a walk.

- Where's Sally? - Get your hat.

- You can't scare me.

- No? - No.

(fist thuds)

My hat. (Ogden whimpering)

- You talk as though I were trying to double cross you.

- I'm sure you know better than that,

but I'm forced to believe that he did know

you had the combination, that when he took it,

he knew what he was taking.

Take a look at that. - I've seen it.

- So has every diamond thief in New York.

They also know that Carteret is gonna have it

at his house tomorrow night.

It's a cinch they're all working on some angle

as to how to grab it, but they're not beating me to it.

And that goes for your friend, Mr. Trulow.

- He's not my friend Mr. Trulow.

(horn honking)

- Ouch, ouch, officer, he-he-he.

- Come on, get that drunk off the street.

- Officer, he!

(footsteps falling)

- Right. Left.

- This car, please, going up.

Going up. (door rolling)

(toy squeaking)

Going up.

- [Mother] Could I have a little room, please?

- Okay, take it away. - Here.

- Take it away. (door rolling)

- Floors, please. - Six.

- Eight. - 11.

- 10, please. - Nine.

- [Elevator Rider] Please give me a little room.

- Please move over. - Get outta the way.

Get outta the way.

(toy squeaking and thudding) (Ogden groaning)

- Will you let us out of here, please?

- Glad to be rid of you. (toy squeaking)

- Will you put that thing away?

(mother yells) - Pardon, madame.

- Where's Timmy? Timmy!

- Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, oh! (footsteps falling)

Oh, madame. (box thuds)

- What do you think you're doing?

- He's got my little boy!

(footsteps falling)

(cart rattling)

- Where'd that guy go? - Who's that, sir?

- The guy who just came around the corner here.

- I didn't see anyone.

- Your dinner's here, sir.

- Okay, bring it in.

- I still think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

That Trulow is definitely a crack pot.

- [Mr. Phillips] Oh, put it over there, waiter.

- Yes, Mr. Phillips. (cart rattling)

- I'll figure that out for myself

after Victor gets him here.

Let's get some chairs, Slasher.

Sit here, Sally.

(toy squeaking)

(waiter chuckles nervously)

- Shall I serve you, sir?

- That won't be necessary. That's all.

- [Waiter] Thank you, sir.

(toy squeaking)

Yes, sir. - That's all.

- Oh, yes, sir.

- Asthma. Pass your plates and I'll serve you.

- [Sally] I don't care what you say,

I think bringing him here

is very silly. (foot smacking)

Sorry.

- Well, maybe, and then maybe we're underestimating

the importance of Mr. Trulow. (foot smacking)

Sorry.

- Mr. Phillips is right.

It don't take no brain trust to figure out

that he's laying to snatch that necklace the same as we are.

(foot smacking)

Sorry.

- And that's a risk I can't afford to take.

(foot smacking)

Pull in your big feet.

- My feet are in. - Well, keep 'em in.

- The guy set an extra plate.

- No, I ordered it for Mr. Trulow.

- [Slasher] Oh, you mean you're gonna feed him first,

then bump him off.

- You're not going to do anything of the kind.

- [Mr. Phillips] You wouldn't be going soft

on us would you, Sally?

- No, I'm not going soft.

It's just that I draw the line at murder, anybody's murder.

You. (knife smacking)

- What's the matter with you?

- Keep your hands to yourself.

- What am I doing?

- You know very well what you're doing.

- I ain't doing nothing at all.

- You certainly did. - Shut up, both of you.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Here's something that might interest you.

- Holy cats, if I didn't know better,

I'd say that was the Romanoff necklace.

- [Mr. Phillips] Well, it's a very reasonable facsimile.

- Hey, look at that. - Let me see it.

Oh, what a beautiful imitation.

- Yeah, that's pretty good.

It won't fool Carteret for long.

The best we can hope for is it'll give us time

to get away with the real one. (necklace clanking)

- Wonder how it would look on me.

(necklace clanking) Oh!

- [Mr. Phillips] Hey, be careful. That thing breaks easily.

Is it all right?

- Hmm? Oh, oh, yes, yes.

- [Mr. Phillips] Give it to me,

I don't want anything to happen to it now.

- [Slasher] Hey, that really is something.

- [Mr. Phillips] Well, it ought to be for $1,500.

- [Slasher] That's not too much,

compared to what we're gonna get for the real McCoy.

- [Mr. Phillips] You're right, Slasher.

When this job's finished,

we'll all be able to take it easy for a long time.

- [Slasher] I'm going to California, that's for me.

Year-round horse racing, plenty of sunshine.

- [Mr. Phillips] And I suppose you'll be going

back to the Caribbean, Sally?

- Hmm? Oh, yes.

Goodbye. I mean, when?

- Well, what's wrong?

You look as though you've been seeing things.

- I have. I mean, I did, I was.

Oh, I feel dizzy, must be the food.

- Get us some brandy, Slasher. - You got it.

(object thuds) (Sally gasps)

- I'll pick it up.

- Say, something is wrong with you.

You better lie down. - Yes.

I guess I better lie down. Oh, no!

- Hurry up. Slasher. - Yeah.

(cart rattling)

- Look out, don't spill it.

- Sparisomoni, in the medicine cabinet.

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah, drink this down.

I'll get you some water. - No water!

- I know what's good for you. - But I don't want any.

(dishes clinking) Oh.

(Sally screaming)

- Say, I better get you a doctor.

- No, no, no, no, no doctor.

It's my neck, back here, way back here.

It hurts back here. I wanna get rid of it.

- Here, let me rub it for you. Does that help?

- Yes, it's going away now.

Faster, faster.

(door shutting quietly)

(door shutting)

- Oh, bon sorry, messers.

(Ogden speaking in foreign language)

- [Mr. Phillips] Well, what do you want?

- [Ogden] La fini la dinner?

- Take it away. (Ogden laughs)

- [Ogden] La gracias.

- Well, where is it? (plates shattering)

- Oh la, excuse me. - Hold it.

Yeah, let me have that. (Ogden laughs)

- Oh, bonjour you very much. (toy squeaking)

(Ogden laughs) La asthma.

(Ogden beats chest and whistles)

- Get going. - La going.

- Just a minute there, waiter. - Never mind the waiter.

Trulow. Will you get outta here?

- Oh, la quick! - Well?

- Well, I had Trulow okay,

and then all of a sudden the elevator stopped,

and all of a sudden, I ain't got Trulow no more.

- I oughta bash you in the teeth.

- Oh, well it wasn't my- - Get outta here,

you dim wit and find him. - Sure.

(dishes crashing)

- La pardon, la accident.

(cart rattling) - Why, you.

- Here we go. Pardon.

La stuck, you wait, be back soon.

(comical chase music)

- [Viktor] Why don't you watch where you're going?

- I'm sorry, I was trying. - Ah, get out of my way.

- Let go of me. - Why, you.

(punch thuds)

(comical music) (Ogden exclaiming)

- All right, shoot it up. (horn honking)

(subdued music)

Hey, what are you doing in there?

- [Ogden] Sorry, I didn't mean, I didn't know where I was.

(cheerful music)

- Well, how are the honeymooners tonight?

- [Ogden And Sally] Oh, hello, Inspector.

- Sally, I want to talk to you.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, dear.

- Out for an evening stroll?

- Oh yes, we always take a long walk after dinner,

don't we, darling?

- I'm glad I ran into you.

I was talking to the manager of your hotel.

He tells me you forgot to register the little wife here.

- Ogden, you didn't. - I didn't?

- Technicality, but it's against the law, you know.

- Well, I can explain all that, you see,

Sally and I, we're not exactly. (groans)

- Yes? - He was just saying

we'll take care of it right away.

- Well, that's fine, because we can't afford

to get careless, can we?

- We sure can't.

- If you'll pardon me, I'm gonna ring in.

(metal box clanging)

Sally. (sentimental music)

Now you've gotta marry me. - Are you crazy?

- Look, Sally, you can't leave without me.

Callahan will get suspicious.

- Just what do you want, Mr. Ogden Trulow?

- What do I want? You, of course.

I need you, Sally.

You're just what the doctor ordered.

I could give up stealing if I had you.

- Well, I couldn't. - Why not?

- If you must know, I never stole anything in my life.

Phillips framed me on some evidence that he has,

and he threatens to turn it over to the police

unless I go through with this Romanoff deal.

- And if you go through with it,

you'll wind up in Sing Sing.

- Why do you think I want you so far away from me?

- Then you do care for me a little bit.

- I didn't say that, and I won't marry you.

- All right, for you, I'll rob another bank.

I'll steal the Romanoff necklace myself

before you're able to.

- I wouldn't do that if I-

- Hey, did you see my badge?

(serious music) - Badge?

- I think I dropped it around here.

(awkward music) - Oh dear.

- I oughta turn you in right now.

- Yes, sir. - But I think I'll wait

'til the pinch really hurts. - Yes, yes.

(suspenseful music) Sally!

I'll show her who's gonna steal that necklace.

Sally. Oh dear.

(water splashing) Oh dear.

- [Willie] Your coffee is ready, sir.

- Who was that on the phone just now, Ms. Martin?

- I don't know, sir.

The phone rang, I answered.

"Hello," I said, "Mr. Trulow's apartment," I said.

"Mr. Trulow is having his shower.

Can I take a message?" I said.

I hear the phone click, nobody's talking. That's all.

- Can't understand it. - Me neither.

(Willie gasps) (dishes clinking)

- I'm up. Okay.

- Willie, get me a towel.

(Ogden gasping and panting)

I'll tell you one thing, Willie.

If I don't hear from her by 5:00 today,

I'm going to the Carteret home and get that necklace myself.

I don't know how I'm gonna do it.

You know me, once I'm exposed to that necklace,

it's a cinch to wind up in my pocket.

I forgot to brush my teeth.

- Get into your clothes.

- Yes, in my clothes.

Where are we going? - You're going for a swim.

- Oh, I just had a bath.

- But not in the East River you didn't.

- Get 'em on.

- Get Phillips on the phone. - Okay.

- What's Philips got to do with this?

- Okay, bub, you've got just three minutes.

- Three minutes? Yes, but I.

(traffic rumbling)

Oh. (horn honking)

I can't. I gotta. (Ogden breathing hard)

(wood cracking) (Ogden exclaiming)

- Yeah, he's really after it.

He was going out there tonight to get it.

(Ogden exclaiming)

Okay, boss, we'll take care of him.

- Any change in plans? - No, give him the works.

- Wait there. - Yeah.

- There he is. I got him.

(gunshot fires)

(Ogden yells)

Please! Oh, geez.

(woman screaming)

Oh, pardon me. May I come in?

- Get out of here! Get out!

(shoes thudding) - Please.

No, please, please don't.

Oh, geez. (exclaims)

(Ogden yelling)

(window slamming)

- Help, somebody! Help! - Somebody calling?

Is there someone in distress?

- Here, someone's trying to come through my window.

- Through your window? I wouldn't worry about it.

I see those things all the time.

- But it's a man. Please help me.

- Must be some drunk.

All right, I'll get him.

Wait a minute, will ya?

I'll be right with you. Here we go.

There he is. - Oh, a peeper too, eh.

Stand aside, young lady, I know.

Well, don't hold me back, will you?

Destroying the cycle in the home, I'll teach you.

- No, no, no, no, wait!

No! No! (curtain ripping)

- Where did he go?

Oh, jumped out the window.

Trying to get away from me, eh?

(Ogden screaming)

Ah, my towel! - Get back in here!

(Ogden screaming)

(Ogden screaming)

- No, no, no, no! (exclaims)

- Don't push me. Come out from behind there.

(Ogden screaming)

- Oh, no, don't! (screams)

Whoa, east of that stone, no.

- Well, I'll go out and get you, that's what.

- You're making a-(screams)

- Are you gonna come up outta of there?

- No! Oh! (cane smacking)

Ouchie, no, no, no, no, no!

No, no! Ouchie, don't do that!

(Ogden grunting)

- [Drunk] Darn wretch, now I've got you.

- You be careful! - Now I've got you.

- Oh, be careful. (drunk muttering)

(Ogden exclaiming) - What are you doing there?

What are you doing to me?

(Ogden grunting)

- [Ogden] Okay, hold on tight, ah!

(Ogden grunting)

- Oh, now get out! Get!

Come back here. - No, no, no, no.

- Come back here. I've got you now, I've got you now!

(Ogden yelling)

(dishes clattering)

Come back here. Come back here.

Where did he go?

Come back here. Oh, there you are.

Come on in outta there.

Hey, you wanna play, eh?

All right then. Are you gonna come in?

- Oh, be careful!

- Come in outta there. - Look down!

- Then I'll shake you off, I'll shake you off.

(Ogden exclaiming)

- Wait a minute! ♪ La la la ♪

Wait a minute! ♪ La la la ♪

- Are you gonna come in?

If you wanna play, I'll go out and play with you.

- No, no, no. Hey, wait a minute, no!

Tell him. Don't come out.

No, wait a minute! Don't come out.

Get back there. Whoa! (yelling)

(drunk muttering)

- Hey, no! No, no, no. (plaster creaking)

No, no, no, no, no, no.

(Ogden exclaiming)

No, no, no, no! No, no!

Oh, no! No, no, no! - Let me outta here!

- No! (plaster creaking)

(glass breaking) (intruders crashing)

(Ogden gasping and tapping)

- I'll teach. - I don't know you.

- You don't know me? - Well, half way.

Do this, what are you to me?

What am I missing? - I'll teach you

to tell me what- - What kind of a place

am I staying in here?

If my brother was only here.

(majestic music)

(elegant music)

- You ain't gonna get in that house, Mr. Ogden.

- Don't worry, I'll get in all right.

You wait right here. - Here?

(engine rumbling)

- Look out, here comes a car.

Wait here now.

- May I have your invitation, please?

Very good, sir.

Thank you. Very good.

- Suppose the next thing Carteret wants

will be our fingerprints.

- Well, he said nothing about that, sir.

- Oh, I'm surprised.

- My hat, my cane, my gloves, my scarf,

my coat, keep them all together.

- But your invitation.

- My invitation? I gave it to you.

- Oh, no, sir, you gave me your hat, your scarf,

your gloves, your cane, your coat,

but not the invitation, sir.

- You're wrong, I gave you my hat, my cane, my gloves,

my scarf, my coat, my invitation.

- Oh, so you did, sir.

Well, can't be too careful, can they?

- I understand.

- Necklace is in there, and as soon as it's shown,

it goes back in there, so I really can't see

what the insurance company means by sending you men.

- Mr. Carteret, we got our orders.

And where that necklace goes, we go.

- Don't worry, we'll just mingle with the guests

like we was one of 'em.

- Who on Earth are those appalling men?

- They're from the insurance company.

- Tell 'em we don't want any and send them away.

- They're detectives.

- You just said they were from the insurance company.

- They're detectives and they're from the insurance company.

- Can't they make up their minds?

- Listen, Flora, (dog growling)

The insurance company

sends out men - Daisy, baby.

- To look after the-

- Oh, Daisy, my baby, what did they do to my baby?

Stop it, please.

Oh, will you stop flapping your trousers at my Daisy Marie?

It makes her very nervous.

- I was not flapping my trousers, Ms. Carteret.

- Oh, dear! - I was standing-

- Hello. - How do you like that?

- First he gave me a scarf, a hat, coat, gloves, the cane.

I shall have your invitation first, please.

- Edwards, please take Daisy Marie outside

and stay out with her, the guests are annoying her.

- But madame, you made a mistake, I'm not Edwards.

- Oh, this is no time to discuss it, do as you're told.

Oh, Harriet.

- Say, maid, will you take this dog outside?

The lady thought that I would.

- You? - Sally.

Gee, you look cute.

- Get out of here quick.

- Oh no, I had too much trouble getting in.

- Ogden, please get out of here while there's still time.

(cart rattling)

- I'm not leaving 'til I get that necklace, the real one.

So why don't you go while there's still time?

- Ogden, don't be foolish.

Victor and Slasher are outside. Now, please go.

- Well, I'm not worried about them, I'm worried about you.

- I warned you. - Ouch!

Sally, I gotta break you of that habit.

- Oh, maid, when you finish serving the guests,

take some coffee to those men in the library.

- Yes, sir.

- I know you must be a friend of Mrs. Carteret's,

but I'm allergic to that dog,

would you please get rid of it?

- Oh, sorry. - You know,

your face looks familiar, but I don't think we've met.

Trulow is my name. - Trulow.

- Ogden Spencer Trulow. - Ogden Spencer Trulow.

- The third. - Oh, of course, of course.

How do you do? (laughs)

I suppose you're anxious to see the necklace.

- Oh, I'm dying to see it before it's gone.

As a matter of fact, I'm getting married soon,

and my future wife has had an eye on it for quite some time.

- Fine, splendid. I'll show it at once.

Attention, everybody.

If you'll come into the library,

we're going to show the necklace.

(guests murmuring and speaking over each other)

- [Flora] Who's gonna help your family?

- Not you, I hope. (guests laughing)

(guests laughing)

(guests chattering)

- Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Here.

- That's all right. - I'll rub it off for you.

- Hey! Hey, cut that out. - Sir?

- You, you, you. - Oh, you know how sorry I am.

(guests gasping) - There it is.

Apart from its incomparable beauty,

it has the most interesting history

of any piece of jewelry of its kind in the whole world.

Oh, look at the pendant,

perfect example of the old Amsterdam crown cutting.

- Oh, may I? - Yes, feel it.

- Oh, it's simply exquisite.

Harry, look at it.

- I'm sorry, dear, I haven't my glasses.

- You and your suckled humor. - May I? Thank you.

Oh, now Helen, look at this. - No, no, no, take it away.

Take it away. - Oh, you must try it on,

you've got just the neck for it.

- [Helen] Now you're not fooling me, Flora.

You know I'll have to lose at least three chins

so anybody can see it.

(guests talking over each other)

- Let me try it on you. - I don't want it.

- It'll only take just a moment. Careful.

There's the opportunity of a life.

(Helen gasps)

- Oh, I'm so sorry. - Do be more careful.

(Helen laughs)

- The last time this happened to me,

it was a chocolate parfait. (guests laughing)

Drat it. - May I help you, madame?

- No, no, don't bother, I'll just shake it out.

There it goes. (giggling) There it is!

- For heaven's sake, be careful, don't step on it.

- I'll pick it up for you. - Thank you.

(guests talking over each other)

- Thank you. - Here, let me help you.

- Just a moment, maid.

May I? - Well-

- I'd like to see this on you.

Do you mind, Mr. Carteret? Thanks.

She looks so much like my intended bride.

In fact, the resemblance is remarkable.

- Please, sir, this is most embarrassing.

- Oh, don't be embarrassed, it looks beautiful on you.

A girl shouldn't kick a fella

for giving her something like that.

- May I go now, please? - In just a moment.

You know something, that's so unusual it doesn't look real.

(foot stomping)

- Please take it off. (Ogden laughing)

- You know, if I were inclined

to try to steal things, like some people,

this would be a great opportunity, wouldn't it?

- I don't think it would. - Me neither.

- Oh, now wait a minute.

I'll bet a person with a little cleverness

and a slight knowledge of magic, like I have,

could make that disappear right from under your very nose.

- Oh, could you really? - Oh, yes.

- Not from under my nose you couldn't.

- Mine neither. - Do do it.

I just love magic tricks. Don't you all?

(guests chattering and laughing)

- Would you mind, Mr. Carteret?

- It's getting a little out of hand.

- Oh, don't be such an old fuss budget.

Come along now, make it disappear.

- Thank you. - Please, Mrs. Carteret,

I have to- - Oh no, wait a minute.

I need you in the trick.

Would you mind holding onto her?

That's it, hold onto her hands.

- He's gonna make the maid disappear.

(guests laughing)

- Well, first I'll take the necklace and I'll put,

say, you're a detective, aren't you?

- Yeah, sure. - Have you a gun?

- Uh-huh. - May I have it, please?

- Certainly. - Thank you very much.

- Hey, wait a minute. - Oh, that's all right.

Now I'll take you.

You stand right over here, please.

This is much easier than I thought.

Now every one of you back against the wall, back!

(guests exclaiming and yelling)

Move.

- You're not gonna get away this.

- Oh yes, I could, but don't be alarmed.

This is not the way I'm gonna make the necklace disappear.

You can put your hands down now.

(guests sighing in relief)

- I told you you couldn't get away with it.

- Well, he had me fooled.

- Give me the napkin. That's right.

Now will you hold the necklace?

Would you put the necklace, that necklace, in this napkin?

There you are. Everybody see it?

Now, would you fold that over, please?

Thank you very much.

Now would you show everybody your hands?

That's right. Hold onto that.

Show you my hands.

We put it right down here.

Now don't be afraid of it.

Be careful of your hand. You all right?

Well, here it is. You ready?

(gun banging) (guests exclaiming)

- Oh my god. - Henry's fainted.

Get him some water. - He hates water.

Stop it, you're ruining my table.

- Hey! (gun banging)

Wait a minute, give me that.

Well, that's just a hunk of ice.

- That's right. - Where's the necklace?

- Where is it? - Well, don't get excited.

- I'm not getting excited. Where's that necklace?

- You're becoming a problem. - Where is it?

- Everybody wants to get in the act.

(Ogden laughing and tapping foot)

You know who that is? - Sure I know.

I want that necklace! - What a temper.

- Now, if I've done the trick correctly,

the necklace should be in the young lady's pocket, that one.

Would you look and see, please?

Ah, there it is. (guests gasping)

Hold it up, everybody can see it.

(guests applauding)

- Give it to me!

- Well, that is the real necklace, isn't it, Mr. Carteret?

- Yes it is, you, oh, I've got a bad heart.

- Well, thank you very much.

(guests clamoring)

- I hope you won't think I'm presumptuous, sir.

But did you invite Mr. Trulow here?

- I certainly did not.

He's a friend of Mrs. Carteret.

- I don't believe so, sir.

- Flora, Flora, come here.

Did you invite that Trulow here?

- Trulow? - That trickster there?

- Oh no, not yet. But remind me to send him an invitation.

He's so amusing. And you were good too.

- Come with me, all of you.

- I'm Genesis seven, wait a minute, fellas.

Look, Mr. Carteret will be sorry about this.

- Your hat, your coat, your gloves,

your scarf, your cane, but no invitation.

Thank you, sir. - Oh.

- Mr. Ogden, you out again? - Yes.

This time we're staying out.

- That's good. - Gimme the coat.

We're through, we're going home.

- No place like home.

- You're going the wrong way. - Huh?

- This way. - I'm up.

Put 'em down. - Down?

- Down. - Down.

- Come on. (tense music)

- Hey you!

You got the wrong headpiece.

Give me the other one.

- Gee, thanks very much.

I'm sorry I caused you all this trouble.

Now let's go inside.

- Eh, eh, eh, not back in there.

Now why don't you run along like a nice little fella?

- Wait a minute.

Wouldn't you like to see another magic trick?

This is a very good one, see.

All you do, you take out your gun and you point it that way.

- Some other time, some other time.

I've got a job at work to do.

Now why don't you be a nice little boy?

- Wait a minute, I don't wanna be a nice little boy.

I wanna be a bad little boy, see.

(Ogden moaning)

(insurance detective clicks tongue)

- That's not very nice.

Now, I wanna help you. - Let's go inside.

- What do you wanna go inside

and get yourself in a lot of trouble for?

Why don't you stay out here, where it's nice and safe?

- You don't know what you're saying.

- Darn! (dark music)

- Oh, wait a minute.

I don't like it out there.

I wanna be with you, please, please.

- You're trying my patience.

Besides, the cold night air don't do my corns no good.

- Your corns? - My corns.

(steady drum roll playing)

- Well, I guess that does it.

- Come on, Willie!

(comical chase music)

- Ogden, Ogden, this way. - Sally, Sally.

(slightly tense music)

- Wee, that was close. - Too close.

- Sally, I knew you were only fooling all along.

- You certainly are doing your best

to get us both killed, aren't you?

- Well, I told you I wouldn't let you

get that necklace and I didn't.

Now will you forget about Phillips and marry me?

- Listen, Mr. Trulow, I didn't become a thief

by choice in the first place,

and at this stage of the game, I don't intend to marry one.

- You're still afraid of Phillips, huh?

Well, if you don't come and leave with me immediately,

I'm going back in that house (Willie shushing)

And I'm gonna tell 'em all about everything.

- I was afraid of that. - Well?

- Kiss me, Ogden. - Oh, Sally.

(romantic music)

- Now close your eyes

and make the biggest wish you can for both of us.

- Will I? (kiss smooching)

Star light, star bright,

the biggest star I've seen tonight, I wish I may, I-

(rock thudding) wish I.

- Take him home, Willie.

And when he wakes up, tell him I did it for his own good.

- Thank you, ma'am, it did me good too.

Come on, Mr. Ogden.

- Now don't yelp at me about it. I did.

Listen Phillips, get that necklace tonight

or the deal is off.

The insurance company is already suspicious

and I'm worried.

That story the girl told you

about Trulow sounds pretty fishy.

- Yeah, it sounds fishy to me too,

but I'll take care of her later, right now I need her.

We'll make the drive sometime after midnight

if she can get rid of those insurance cops.

All right. I'll get it.

- Sally, my darling, my Sally.

- Mr. Ogden, wake up.

This ain't your Sally, this is just your Willie.

See it's me. Wake up now.

- Where are we?

What's happened? Where's Sally?

- Well, she popped you, it dropped you.

Now we're going home. That's good.

- Turn around. She's in trouble, she needs me.

- She said to take you home, and I agrees with her.

- We've gotta go back.

She kissed me. She loves me.

- She loves you?

Kiss you, bop you, and drop you, what kind of love is that?

- Turn around I said.

- Anybody hungry? - Are you fooling?

- Mr. Carteret thought you might like

some coffee and sandwiches.

- Now ain't that thoughtful of him?

- [Reddy] Yeah, ain't it?

- Oh, if you'll move the radio.

(dishes clattering) (Sally gasping)

Look what I've done!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

- Let me help you. - Yeah, leave us get it.

Oh, on the rug too,

ain't you lucky they ain't jelly sandwiches?

- Sure would be messy, wouldn't it?

Well, we'll fix it up just like nothing happened.

Nobody'll ever know you've done it.

It's all cleaned up.

- Oh, I'm so sorry. - Ah, think nothing of it.

- Why don't you boys come out in the kitchen.

There's lots more out there.

- What are we waiting on?

- Ah, duh, duh, let me take it, you might drop it again.

(brakes squeaking)

- A little time yet. Combination of that safe?

- Yeah, in my pocket. - Good.

- Shall I make some more coffee or would you like some beer?

- Are you kidding? - Beer.

There are knives and forks in that drawer right there.

- Well, what's the delay? - Just a minute there now.

There you go. - This is it.

(mysterious music)

- There it is. On your way.

- Mr. Ogden, this is foolish, illegal, and fighting.

- Locked. - I wish we was back

to the good old days when you was just a kleptomaniac.

- No sense even trying this one,

I saw the detective lock it.

Get me a rock, and-

(object cracking)

(footsteps scrambling)

(foreboding music)

- Hey, give me that flashlight.

Let's get outta here.

(dramatic music)

- Willie, they've gone. - Let's do likewise.

- I've got the necklace now, she can't steal it.

(tense music)

- Can we go outside where there's more room to run?

- Yeah, guess we'd better. Here.

(Willie exclaiming)

- They're coming back, they must have forgot something.

- Yeah, us. (tense music)

- Willie!

(Willie squealing)

(Ogden shushing)

Willie, quiet.

(dark, tense music)

(mysterious music)

(box clattering)

- What's the matter with them lights?

(engine rumbling)

(brakes squeaking)

- All right, give me the necklace.

Now come on, where is it?

- Well, give it to him. - Me? I ain't got it.

- I gave it to you. - You gave it to me?

Are you kidding?

- Come on, come on, give it to me.

- Give him the necklace or I'll knock your teeth out.

- You ain't passing the buck to me.

(emphatic music)

And you ain't knocking my teeth out.

- [Mr. Phillips] Look, if this is a game, I don't like it.

What have you done?

(slow, unsettling music)

(ball thudding repeatedly)

(dogs barking)

- Dogs, quite a family, ain't it?

10 of 'em, double quintuplets, eh.

Let me count 'em, 10.

You better go see what's the matter with them lights.

Here Prince, here Prince, come on, Prince.

Well, if that ain't something.

What do you want to do, sing?

(dogs whining) (detective vocalizing)

Oh, you wanna play, huh?

Now wait a minute.

Make it soft or we're all get thrown out.

Here, watch.

(dogs barking)

Bring it here, bring it here. Come on.

Come on, bring it here.

(ball whacking)

(dogs growling)

Which one of you threw that?

(dog whining)

If I hadn't been here, I wouldn't have believed it.

Pretty good. Let's see you do it again.

Get it. (dogs barking)

Hey, Reddy, hey, Reddy, get a load of this, Reddy.

This is a kick.

(footsteps falling)

Ah, you're too late.

You should have seen them.

- Those dogs shouldn't even be here.

Come on, you pups, come on, outside with you, come on.

(dogs barking)

- They're cute, huh? - Yeah.

- Hurry up. Hurry up.

- Hey, what about them lights?

- Oh, I ain't found out yet.

- Well, you better keep working on 'em.

- Yeah. - Oh. Uh-oh.

What are you doing over there, hiding?

You know she meant you too.

Come on, come on.

What's the matter? You tired?

No pride, huh? No shame, no nothing.

I'll help ya. There you go.

Well, you're the silliest-looking thing I ever.

(dog growling)

Hey, wait a minute.

Drop that, drop that!

Bring that back here. Bring it back.

Drop that flashlight. Bring it here.

(comical chase music) Get him when he goes by.

Here, Prince. Here, Prince.

Fetch, come here.

Stop that. Catch him!

(dog growling)

You're gonna wake up the whole house.

Drop that, drop that!

(comically tense music)

Drop that! (dog growling)

(comical chase music)

Drop that, drop that. (grunting)

(dog growling)

That double-crossing little mutt.

- Well, I found the light trouble all right.

- Yeah, I see you did. - Yeah, just a fuse.

- Yeah. Boy, could I use some of that beer.

I've been chasing that dog for a mile.

- What for?

- Because I couldn't catch him.

- Oh.

(slow tempo music) - Ogden, Ogden, where are you?

- Here.

- You better get outta here quick.

(Sally shrieking) (furniture crashing)

(high-pitched tense music)

- What's going on here?

- I'm up. For say.

- He's up all the time.

He gets up early to help me clean up each day, man. Oh!

I thought you two had a little accident. (yelling)

(Ogden thudding) (Ogden exclaiming)

- I was getting a little seasick.

- So it's you again.

I thought I asked you to stay away from here.

You don't know what's good for you, do you?

Where'd you get that?

- A fellow in the library gave it to me, didn't he?

- There was two of 'em. - Two of 'em.

- Reddy, we've been robbed.

- Get your hands up, all of you.

- [Ogden] She didn't steal it, I stole it.

- I was supposed to but somebody else did.

- See, it sounds all mixed up.

I'm guilty, but I'm innocent.

- Get outta here! - After you, dear.

- [Reddy] All right, head for the library.

- Library.

- Well, it just goes to show you can't be sure of nothing.

Now how'd they get that outta there?

(footsteps falling)

- You're making a big mistake, I can explain everything.

She had nothing to do with it, I'm just a kleptomaniac.

- I know it.

- They've gone. - Me too.

- Strange. - Hey, where are you?

Yoo-hoo, detectives.

- Hey. - Where are you?

- Come here, let's get out of here quick.

(tense music) (brakes squeaking)

- All right, get out, get out.

Come on, come on. (door shutting)

- Where's your car? - Over there.

- Hurry up. - I'm not taking another step

'til I find out one thing.

- I do love you, now let's run.

- First, wait a minute.

This may change your mind.

And it's yours if you still want it.

- I thought they still had it. - So did they.

- Well, how? - I dunno.

I take things so easy, I don't even know myself sometimes.

- Well, get rid of it, throw it in the bushes.

Do anything, but get rid of it.

- That's all I wanted to know.

Here Willie, take this back to the house.

- Mr. Ogden, I've been associated

with your family for a long time,

but if it comes to going back in that house,

our association had dissolved

and that's unanimously, goodbye.

- We'll take it back ourselves.

- I kind of agree with Willie.

- We're gonna start our new life off right, come on.

(light music)

- You can't blame me for the stupidity

of your own men, Phillips.

I kept my part of the bargain.

If they didn't get the necklace, then who did?

- Look, I don't like the whole setup.

You'll get yours all right from the insurance company.

Where's mine coming from?

- I'm in this too. - Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe those insurance cops got it.

- How about the girl?

- Yeah, where is Sally?

- Hey, hey detectives! Where is everybody?

Where are you hiding? - Duck.

- Oh, Mr. Carteret, are you gonna be glad to see us.

You don't know what almost happened to you.

- Oh really? May I ask what you're doing here?

- Oh, I'll vouch for him.

- Yes, we've been working together.

You remember your necklace in your safe?

Well, it's not there anymore.

- No? - No.

- And I suppose you know where it is.

(Ogden laughs)

- Close your eyes and be surprised.

And did I have an awful time getting it,

there were 15 or 20 safe crackers,

and I caught them in the act, and we fought, and we fought,

and I took them by- - Ogden.

- Well, if we'd have fought, we'd have fought.

- That was very nice of you.

And I am surprised.

And I'd like to shove it down your throat.

- Oh, that's all right, there was no trouble about, what?

- Phillips. - Phillips, yeah.

He's the man. How did you know about him?

He tried to make a thief out of Sally, didn't he?

Oh, yes he did, and he tried to get me killed.

Let me tell him.

If I ever meet up with him, he'll be sorry.

- Will he? - He certainly will.

I'll take him and I'll break-

Oh, hello, Mr. Phillips, we were just talking about you.

Bone in his body. (dramatic music)

(Ogden chuckles uncomfortably)

(fast tempo music)

- Oh, don't pay any attention to him.

He's not responsible for anything he says or does.

He's just a kleptomaniac.

- Yes, I'm a kleptomaniac.

- What about you?

- She's not a kleptomaniac.

Don't you call her- - Shut up.

- They're dangerous people, Phillips.

- I'll tame them.

- I take them for a nice little ride in the river.

- Yeah, underneath the boat.

- Underneath the boat? Sally.

- Hey, wait a minute, say, "La fini la dini."

- La fini la dini. (whistling)

- I knew it all the time. - Come on, come on.

Get started, get started.

- You mind if I go along?

I just wanted to make sure you get up the river.

- Oh, Mr. Carteret, Uncle Sam has been anticipating

this pleasure for a long time.

- I'd like to change my clothes.

- Where you're going, they'll change 'em for you.

Come on, take him away. - Come on.

- All right. - Let's go.

- Step it up. (people murmuring)

- [Speaker] Thought you'd try

to get away with something, huh?

- Hey, Mr. Callahan, how about us?

(foot stomping) Ouch. Gee.

- What? - What about us?

- There's nothing wrong with either one of you

that a marriage ceremony won't cure, goodnight.

(door shutting)

- Sally. - Ogden.

(light-hearted music)