Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:47,780
Rattling
2
00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:57,260
Whirring
3
00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:10,140
Meowing
4
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:26,260
Spray hisses
5
00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:36,300
The black cat?
6
00:01:38,580 --> 00:01:40,820
Otherwise known as gangsta granny?
7
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:44,900
But how...
8
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:47,780
..When she's...Dead?
9
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:49,980
Bell tolls
10
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:54,500
I miss you so much, gran.
11
00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:58,740
I brought you
your favourite cabbages.
12
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,060
She certainly loved those.
13
00:02:05,060 --> 00:02:06,700
Oh, hello, esha.
14
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:11,980
I remember your gran's
famous cabbage soup only too well.
15
00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:14,140
Made her blow off something chronic.
16
00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:17,780
She used to quack like a duck!
17
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:24,460
I miss her so much.
18
00:02:24,460 --> 00:02:27,700
Oh, don't. You'll set me off
as well.
19
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,660
Meowing
20
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:34,380
hello!
21
00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:37,540
What's your name?
22
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:45,140
I come here once a week
to see my husband.
23
00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:46,940
He passed away ten years ago.
24
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,580
It gets lonely.
25
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,420
I wish I'd been more like your gran.
26
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,780
She always had a twinkle in her eye,
27
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:57,180
as if she was up to some mischief.
28
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:01,980
Why don't I come over tomorrow?
29
00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:03,580
Do you like Murray mints?
30
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:05,220
Yes, of course! Oh!
31
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:07,460
Would you take a look at my cistern,
too?
32
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:09,740
- Of course. It would be a pleasure.
- Ok!
33
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:13,620
Now, from your house, you'll need
to get the number 73 bus.
34
00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:17,340
Oh, no,
granny left me wheels in her will.
35
00:03:17,340 --> 00:03:20,860
- Mm! - And I made a few modifications.
36
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,740
# that might just happen,
37
00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:27,300
# so listen deep
stick with your madame
38
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,340
# or she might just leave
39
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:31,540
# yeah, yeah
let's get down with the trumpets
40
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,580
# yeah, yeah
let's get down with the trumpets
41
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,900
# yeah, yeah
let's get down with the trumpets
42
00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,780
# yeah, yeah
let's get down with the trumpets
43
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:40,220
# let's get down with the
down with the... #
44
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,100
quiet whirring
45
00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:47,700
taking after your grandmother, eh?
46
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:54,580
Enjoy your joyride,
Benjamin Herbert...
47
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,740
..While you can.
48
00:03:58,940 --> 00:04:01,020
# let's get down with the trumpets
49
00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,380
# what? Let's get down with the
down with the. #
50
00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:06,260
alarm chirps
51
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,820
bell jangles
52
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:10,820
aha! Ben!
53
00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:13,580
My favourite customer.
54
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:15,860
A bag of your finest Murray mints,
please, raj.
55
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,820
Excellent choice, sir.
56
00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:20,060
It has been a good harvest
this year.
57
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:23,220
I saved you the latest
plumbers weekly.
58
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:25,940
Wow! Free stopcock! Cool!
59
00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:30,020
And a pull-out poster of Wembley
stadium's new sprinkler system?!
60
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:31,380
Oh, mega!
61
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:37,020
- What's that? - The mask of tutankhamun
has been stolen.
62
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:41,180
Tut, and again, tut. King tut.
63
00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:43,220
Wow! Can I see?
64
00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:45,300
Sadly, there is no browsing.
65
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:49,420
The thief snatched it in the dead
of night, leaving just one clue.
66
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:54,460
- What? - "Miaow", spelled out in
scrabble letters.
67
00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:59,460
You don't think this could have
been the work of the black cat?
68
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,940
- No, it can't have been.
- Can't it, now?
69
00:05:03,180 --> 00:05:06,220
- Oh, no. - Aha! Mr Parker!
70
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:09,780
In my bottom-five favourite
customers.
71
00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:13,980
This theft has all the hallmarks
of your old partner in crime,
72
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,740
the silver-haired menace,
known as your grandmother.
73
00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:19,100
But granny's gone.
74
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:22,140
And where were you last night,
Benjamin Herbert?
75
00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:24,260
- In bed. - Doing what, exactly?
76
00:05:24,260 --> 00:05:25,580
Sleeping.
77
00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:27,260
Any witnesses?
78
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:30,260
Yes, actually, I always sleep
in front of an audience.
79
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,980
Always sleep in front...
80
00:05:34,220 --> 00:05:35,820
Sniggering
81
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:43,260
quite the comedian,
aren't we, Benjamin Herbert?
82
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,700
Well, I...
83
00:05:45,820 --> 00:05:47,220
I'm watching you.
84
00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,260
Very closely.
85
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,140
Clattering
86
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:02,580
move this
before somebody has an accident.
87
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,580
I could have had an eye out.
88
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:11,260
Door closes
89
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:14,220
what the...?
90
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:34,180
Tango music plays
91
00:06:44,580 --> 00:06:46,820
Was that postbox always there?
92
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,540
What postbox?
93
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,500
Oh, hello, dear!
94
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,380
Sorry, I didn't see you come in.
95
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,020
I was in another world!
96
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:56,740
The magical world of ballroom.
97
00:06:56,740 --> 00:07:00,380
Oh, me and your mother have
some rather exciting news.
98
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:01,860
- We've been... - ..Been accepted
99
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:04,300
for the international ballroom
championships!
100
00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:06,940
You two?!
101
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:10,340
- Yeah, don't sound so surprised.
- You're representing England?
102
00:07:10,340 --> 00:07:11,500
The outer hebrides.
103
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:14,340
Your mother did lie a tiny bit
on the application form.
104
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:17,980
And we're going to be dancing
in front of someone super-special.
105
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,740
Her majesty the queen.
106
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,780
Big ballroom fan, apparently!
107
00:07:21,780 --> 00:07:24,060
Oh, and even more exciting.
108
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:26,540
Guess who is hosting?
109
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:27,900
Dunno.
110
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:30,540
Ben,
111
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:32,620
your mother would like you to guess.
112
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:34,140
Ant and dec?
113
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:37,020
Flavio!
114
00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:40,900
Ooh, you wonderful man.
115
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,500
If you slobber over him,
he'll get soggy.
116
00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:51,660
I did warn you.
117
00:07:51,660 --> 00:07:54,340
I'm going to go read
my plumbers weekly.
118
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,980
No, not yet.
119
00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:58,020
We haven't told you the best part.
120
00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,460
Drum roll.
121
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:00,900
Brr-brrr-brrr!
122
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:02,540
Ding!
123
00:08:02,540 --> 00:08:05,660
It's this Saturday night,
and we have bought you
124
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,500
a front-row ticket.
125
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,260
Early Christmas present!
126
00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:13,820
I told the vicar I'd fix
the church boiler that day.
127
00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,700
- Oh. - Oh.
128
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:18,580
Teenage boys should not
be interested in boilers.
129
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,780
They should be interested
in ballroom dances.
130
00:08:21,780 --> 00:08:25,380
The quickstep, the foxtrot,
the cha-cha-cha-cha.
131
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,340
- One too many chas. - Oh, yeah.
132
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,020
Plumbing only leads
in one direction.
133
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:32,140
And that's down the drain.
134
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:33,860
- Oh! - See what I did there?!
135
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,460
Very droll, my one true love.
Funny, isn't she?!
136
00:08:37,460 --> 00:08:39,700
Come on. Music, maestro.
137
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:43,100
We need to practise
our winners' routine!
138
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,500
And...
139
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:53,460
Present...
140
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,100
Yes!
141
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,660
Things are not good, gran.
142
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:06,380
It's getting so bad now
that I'm talking to a picture.
143
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,940
You see, there's a new black cat,
and I'm getting the blame.
144
00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:16,620
I really need your help.
145
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:21,860
You would know what to do about
that rotten, old, nosey Parker.
146
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,500
And there she is. Evil incarnate.
147
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:36,060
And the reason for
this emergency meeting
148
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:39,100
of the neighbourhood watch,
lower toddle branch -
149
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:43,660
the international Jewel thief
known as...
150
00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:46,300
- Biscuits?
- What do you mean, biscuits?
151
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:47,820
Are there any?
152
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,500
Don't interrupt!
153
00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:54,780
..The international Jewel thief
known as
154
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,900
the black cat.
155
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:59,100
Lock her up and throw away the key!
156
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:01,180
She's passed, dear.
157
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,820
Oh, when, dear?
158
00:10:02,820 --> 00:10:04,420
A while ago, dear.
159
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:05,940
May she rest in peace.
160
00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:08,340
There are usually biscuits.
161
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:10,780
I will break out the biscuits
in good time.
162
00:10:10,780 --> 00:10:13,940
If she's passed, what are we talking
about her for?
163
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:18,820
Because this gangsta granny
had a protege, the most dangerous
164
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:21,860
criminal mastermind
the world has ever known.
165
00:10:21,860 --> 00:10:24,740
This moon-faced boy
166
00:10:24,740 --> 00:10:28,260
is the new black cat.
167
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:31,580
Gasping
168
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:31,580
no! Ben is a good boy.
169
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,780
- He fixed my washing machine for
free. - While casing the joint
170
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,260
to Rob you blind, no doubt.
171
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,780
Oh! Did he steal my biscuits?
172
00:10:38,780 --> 00:10:40,220
No!
173
00:10:40,220 --> 00:10:43,380
Here are your blasted biscuits.
174
00:10:43,380 --> 00:10:45,980
And before you ask, I'm saving
the chocolate ones!
175
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:49,740
- Cruel. - Now, for the rest of you,
cancel your cruises,
176
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:53,420
put down your puzzlers,
banish the bingo.
177
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:57,260
We cannot rest until we have
caught him in the act,
178
00:10:57,260 --> 00:11:03,820
for who knows where or when the
black cat will strike again?
179
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,660
- Mm! - Mm. - That's true.
180
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:33,860
A tragedy.
181
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,300
- What?
- Well, they've stolen the world cup.
182
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,740
What a fuss over nothing.
183
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:43,940
The world cup - it's hardly
the strictly glitterball.
184
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,740
The only clue the thief left behind
185
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:51,340
was the word "purr" in scrabble
letters.
186
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,980
- The black cat.
- But it can't have been.
187
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:57,900
How do you know?
188
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,620
I don't.
189
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:03,820
I, er, I said I'd go and visit
esha today.
190
00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:05,260
Granny's pal?
191
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:08,820
Uh, have you ever considered
getting a friend your own age?
192
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:11,860
No.
193
00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:16,140
He likes older women, like his dad.
194
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:24,340
Ok.
195
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:29,220
Brussels sprout cake.
196
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:34,940
- There you go.
- Just a sliver, a wafer-thin slice.
197
00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:40,580
You were telling me about the
thefts.
198
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:42,140
At both crime scenes,
199
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:45,540
the thief left scrabble letters
with words connected to cats.
200
00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:50,140
Oh, I almost forgot
the parsnip custard.
201
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:54,940
You're really spoiling me.
202
00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:59,060
I bought a bunch of books
when the library closed down.
203
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:02,300
There must be one somewhere
on the mask of tutankhamun
204
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,340
- and the world cup. - Hmm!
205
00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:08,260
They're arranged by topic, colour
and spine damage.
206
00:13:08,260 --> 00:13:11,460
Try next to the red
medium-damaged cookbooks.
207
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,100
Oh. I found one! Football trophies.
208
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:21,980
That's great!
Oh, and here's one on ancient Egypt.
209
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:24,140
Why don't you borrow them
to look for clues?
210
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:26,420
Metallic scraping
211
00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:34,020
now it's getting really weird.
Did that postbox used to be there?
212
00:13:34,020 --> 00:13:36,980
Not unless my mind's playing tricks
on me.
213
00:14:32,820 --> 00:14:36,380
Neighbourhood watch, assemble.
214
00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:44,020
Don't let him get away!
215
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:48,780
Come on, Millicent, you can do it!
216
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:54,620
Get a shift on, Virginia.
217
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:57,380
For the love of goodness,
give yourself up, child!
218
00:14:57,380 --> 00:15:01,900
Or we'll force-feed you stewed
rhubarb until you confess.
219
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:05,620
Oh, I could murder a rhubarb
crumble!
220
00:15:05,620 --> 00:15:07,940
You can't run from the law forever!
221
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,060
It wasn't me, mr Parker.
I swear, I'm innocent.
222
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:13,820
Oh, your grandmother taught you
well, Benjamin.
223
00:15:13,820 --> 00:15:15,660
Or shall I call you the black cat?
224
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,180
I'm not the black cat!
225
00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:19,540
You've even got her old getaway car!
226
00:15:22,740 --> 00:15:24,700
Keep up! Keep up!
227
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:32,740
Tyres squeak, crossing beeps
228
00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:32,740
come on, come on.
229
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:51,340
Hmm...
230
00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:06,100
Low-speed pursuit in progress.
231
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:09,500
Siren blares
232
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:24,820
Arrest that boy! Lock him up
and throw away the prison!
233
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:28,220
It's been a lovely outing!
Will there be sandwiches?
234
00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:31,060
No! I told you, if you wanted
to eat, you had to make
235
00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,820
- your own packed lunch. - Oh.
236
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:35,100
What a hullabaloo!
237
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:37,580
We can barely hear ourselves tango.
238
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:41,340
- Just what is going on here, then?
- This boy is an arch-criminal.
239
00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:45,540
- Ben, I can't believe it! - Don't!
It's not true!
240
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:50,020
He's stolen the mask of tutankhamun
and the world cup.
241
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,460
We caught him red-handed.
242
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:55,660
Look, officer, books that link him
to the crime.
243
00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:59,420
- Come on, come on.
- I took them because I wanted to do
244
00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:02,260
some detective work,
find out who really did it.
245
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:05,380
How very convenient!
246
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:09,300
This boy is britain's most-wanted.
247
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:14,740
- The black cat.
- One and the same!
248
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:16,460
I'm not the black cat!
249
00:17:16,460 --> 00:17:20,700
Ben, just tell these nice people
where you've hidden the mask
250
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,820
of tutankhamun
and that...Football thingummy.
251
00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:26,860
- World cup. - That. - I can't, because
I don't have them.
252
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:29,020
Right, that's it, you're grounded.
253
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:31,980
Perhaps a spell in the cells
will jog your memory.
254
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:34,980
- You can't arrest him! - I certainly
can. - No, but it's dealt with -
255
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:38,220
- he's grounded. - I'm afraid grounded
has no legal status, madam.
256
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,700
Well, it should.
257
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,780
How about we put him
on the naughty step?
258
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:43,620
Again, not an official punishment.
259
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:45,340
The very naughty step?
260
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:49,820
Benjamin Herbert, I'm placing you
under arrest for theft.
261
00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:52,860
Come on. Anything you say can be
blah-de-blah,
262
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:55,100
so and so, and so and so, etc...
263
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,300
You know the rest. Come on.
264
00:17:56,300 --> 00:17:57,940
Mum! Dad!
265
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,820
Leave it!
266
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,820
No, you can't do this!
267
00:18:00,820 --> 00:18:02,380
Uncuff him right now,
268
00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:05,740
or I'll write a very stern letter
to someone or other.
269
00:18:05,740 --> 00:18:09,220
Neighbourhood watchers,
I give you the night off.
270
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,620
You can all binge-watch pointless.
271
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:14,140
Nothing is going to be stolen
tonight.
272
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:20,060
- You have framed an innocent boy!
- Out of my way, you buffoon.
273
00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,500
Never! You'll have to run me down.
274
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,060
- Oh! - As you wish.
275
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,420
Oh! Agh, me foot!
276
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:31,220
- Ooh! - It really, really hurts!
277
00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:35,180
Well, in fairness, Mike,
you did ask him to run you over.
278
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:44,700
In.
279
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,660
Hello.
280
00:18:55,660 --> 00:18:57,100
Um...
281
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,140
What are you in for?
282
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,900
I hit a child.
283
00:19:03,540 --> 00:19:05,540
Only joking!
284
00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:07,300
He chuckles, Ben laughs nervously
285
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,180
I hit an old lady.
286
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,460
Oh, no, they can't have.
287
00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:03,700
Alarm rings
288
00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:03,700
help! Help!
289
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:08,540
Toilet flushes
290
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,020
right.
291
00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:13,460
There you go, buster.
That should flush much better now.
292
00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:15,140
Cheers, Ben.
293
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,900
You're a life-saver.
294
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,940
So... black cat.
295
00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:28,300
How did you steal the queen's wax
figure when you were locked in here?
296
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:31,340
- I didn't - that's how!
- I couldn't sleep.
297
00:20:31,340 --> 00:20:34,460
Ben was up all night telling me
a bedtime story
298
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:38,500
about a little puppy
who got stuck in a u-bend
299
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,900
and it couldn't get out.
300
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,420
It was turning, it couldn't get out,
could it?!
301
00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:46,580
It went on for ages, and it kept
trying and trying.
302
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:49,340
It was terrible. Tell him about it!
303
00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:51,660
Go on, tell him about it!
304
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,620
Sobbing
305
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:00,900
- is it better yet? - No, it's not
better yet!
306
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:03,540
The doctor said
I'd broken every bone in me foot.
307
00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:06,820
But, darlin',
it's the internationals tonight,
308
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,940
and there's nobody
to take your place.
309
00:21:08,940 --> 00:21:10,820
Then, we'll just have to pull out.
310
00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:13,340
Pull out? Pull out?!
311
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,260
But what about my flavio?
312
00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:17,780
He will be devastated
if I'm not there.
313
00:21:17,780 --> 00:21:19,740
I'm sure he'll get over
the disappointment.
314
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:21,980
Oh.
315
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,580
Stay there.
316
00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:25,940
I couldn't move if I wanted to.
317
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,660
Door closes
318
00:21:35,220 --> 00:21:36,820
She grunts
319
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,140
release my son this instant!
320
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:45,860
Mrs Herbert?
321
00:21:45,860 --> 00:21:48,700
Ben has been accused
of some very serious crimes.
322
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:50,260
And what evidence do you have?
323
00:21:50,260 --> 00:21:52,580
Well, that depends
on your definition of evidence.
324
00:21:52,580 --> 00:21:55,100
But mr Parker said he did it.
325
00:21:57,340 --> 00:22:01,340
I am taking part in an international
dance competition this evening,
326
00:22:01,340 --> 00:22:03,380
and I'm one short of a pairing.
327
00:22:03,380 --> 00:22:07,780
Now, you let my Ben out right now,
or you can rumba with me tonight
328
00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:09,780
on stage at the palladium.
329
00:22:09,780 --> 00:22:10,940
Ha!
330
00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:13,460
Ballroom music
331
00:22:20,780 --> 00:22:22,300
Which is it to be?
332
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,860
I'll get the keys.
333
00:22:25,860 --> 00:22:27,340
Hmm!
334
00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:30,060
But...one more whiff of trouble
from your lad,
335
00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:32,260
I'll have him straight back
in the slammer.
336
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:41,340
I sprung you out of jail, Ben,
337
00:22:41,340 --> 00:22:43,140
it's the very least you could do.
338
00:22:43,140 --> 00:22:45,700
I am not dancing with my own mum!
339
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:48,180
I'm 14! It's super-weird.
340
00:22:48,180 --> 00:22:51,620
- Why can't dad do it? - Cos mr Parker
ran over me dancing foot!
341
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:53,860
Ben, you have to do this.
342
00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:55,820
Please, I am begging you.
343
00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,540
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.
344
00:22:57,540 --> 00:22:59,460
- Why not? - I'm grounded.
345
00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:01,940
Well, he's got a point.
We can't make exceptions.
346
00:23:01,940 --> 00:23:04,420
After careful consideration,
your father and I have decided
347
00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:06,420
that the grounding period
is now over.
348
00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:09,700
- Have we? - Yes. We've got a lot
of work to do on our routine.
349
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:12,220
Ok, sure,
but right now, I've got to go.
350
00:23:12,220 --> 00:23:14,940
No, no, no. We're competing tonight.
We have to rehearse.
351
00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:18,380
Yeah, but I'm your son,
so I have natural talent for dance,
352
00:23:18,380 --> 00:23:19,860
just like you.
353
00:23:19,860 --> 00:23:21,580
That is a good point.
354
00:23:21,580 --> 00:23:23,940
- No, no, wait. Hey!
- Where are you off to?
355
00:23:23,940 --> 00:23:26,540
What's more important than dancing
with your own mother?
356
00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:28,100
It's every young boy's dream.
357
00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:30,740
I'm going to look for clues
to clear my name.
358
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:35,580
But...
359
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:35,580
Door closes
360
00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:22,940
Stop right there.
361
00:24:24,780 --> 00:24:26,540
What have you got in your hand?
362
00:24:26,540 --> 00:24:28,460
- Nothing. - Didn't look like nothing.
363
00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:29,860
Open it.
364
00:24:31,220 --> 00:24:32,700
The other one.
365
00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:36,780
Both together.
366
00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:48,660
What do we have here?
367
00:24:50,220 --> 00:24:53,260
And if you look in your shoe,
you'll find...
368
00:24:55,380 --> 00:24:57,060
..Nothing!
369
00:24:57,060 --> 00:24:58,780
Oi! You little...!
370
00:25:01,940 --> 00:25:03,820
Another bowl of broccoli trifle?
371
00:25:03,820 --> 00:25:07,300
Oh, no, no, no, no. But the first
three bowls were perfection.
372
00:25:07,300 --> 00:25:11,180
Now, whoever this black cat is,
373
00:25:11,180 --> 00:25:13,180
I think they're playing a game.
374
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:15,060
Why are they leaving clues?
375
00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:17,100
It's like they want to get caught.
376
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:20,700
- That's odd. - What's odd? - Just a mo.
377
00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:30,060
Look at my scrabble tiles.
378
00:25:30,060 --> 00:25:32,420
- Bog-standard plastic. - Mm?
379
00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:35,100
Now look at the ones you found.
380
00:25:35,100 --> 00:25:36,980
What's the difference?
381
00:25:36,980 --> 00:25:40,820
- They're slightly different colours.
- And not plastic.
382
00:25:42,820 --> 00:25:44,780
They're made of bone China.
383
00:25:44,780 --> 00:25:47,660
Ha! I didn't even know they made
bone China scrabble pieces.
384
00:25:47,660 --> 00:25:52,700
Nor did I. But I think this gives
you your first major clue, Ben.
385
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:56,020
Who would own a bone China
scrabble set?
386
00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:12,260
There you are!
We have been frantic.
387
00:26:12,260 --> 00:26:15,420
- Why? - The internationals kick
off in an hour!
388
00:26:15,420 --> 00:26:18,820
- But I... - No buts, Ben!
We need to leave right now.
389
00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:21,540
Like a second ago.
Two seconds, three seconds.
390
00:26:21,540 --> 00:26:24,420
But I have a clue!
I need to find the real black cat.
391
00:26:24,420 --> 00:26:26,660
Priorities, Ben! Come on!
392
00:26:26,660 --> 00:26:29,420
- Oh, I just need to get me crutches.
- There isn't time!
393
00:26:32,860 --> 00:26:34,300
Hurry up!
394
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:49,900
Blast!
395
00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,620
Jazz band plays
396
00:26:58,620 --> 00:27:01,740
Mwah! Looking good, my love!
397
00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:04,220
Oh! Mwah!
398
00:27:04,220 --> 00:27:07,220
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
399
00:27:07,220 --> 00:27:09,540
Oh, she is the greatest dancer!
400
00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:13,020
Wait, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa.
401
00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:14,860
OMG, flavio!
402
00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:17,020
It's me, Linda!
403
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:19,140
We've met before?
404
00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:21,220
I don't suppose you remember me?
405
00:27:21,220 --> 00:27:23,260
Don't remember?!
406
00:27:23,260 --> 00:27:26,140
You are the monster
who gave me mouth-to-mouth.
407
00:27:26,140 --> 00:27:28,780
Well, if you're referring to me
acting quickly to save your life,
408
00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:30,980
then, yes, that was I.
409
00:27:30,980 --> 00:27:33,180
Do you like my nails, flavio?
410
00:27:33,180 --> 00:27:35,180
I had them done especially for you.
411
00:27:36,220 --> 00:27:39,380
"I love flavi."
412
00:27:40,580 --> 00:27:43,540
If only I had another finger,
I could have included the o.
413
00:27:43,540 --> 00:27:44,820
What do you think?
414
00:27:44,820 --> 00:27:49,620
I think you need to stay as far away
from flavio as possible.
415
00:27:49,620 --> 00:27:53,140
Don't talk,
don't even look at flavio.
416
00:27:53,140 --> 00:27:56,020
Any funny business Toni-i-ight,
417
00:27:56,020 --> 00:27:59,540
and flavio will have you barred
from ballroom dancing forever!
418
00:27:59,540 --> 00:28:01,740
Oh!
419
00:28:01,740 --> 00:28:03,820
Well, how about that?!
420
00:28:03,820 --> 00:28:05,700
Flavio remembered me!
421
00:28:12,740 --> 00:28:15,460
You never said we'd have to dress
like this.
422
00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:18,340
I wanted to keep the Titanic theme
as a nice surprise.
423
00:28:19,580 --> 00:28:21,660
And you make a very dashing iceberg.
424
00:28:23,180 --> 00:28:25,580
Applause and cheering
425
00:28:29,540 --> 00:28:32,020
that's just sympathy clapping.
426
00:28:32,020 --> 00:28:34,820
Proud father and husband
coming through.
427
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:38,460
- Thank you. Excuse me. - Oh!
- Sorry. Sorry.
428
00:28:45,380 --> 00:28:48,020
What wonderful contestants!
429
00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:54,460
Ladies and gentlemans, your
royal majestical majesty highness,
430
00:28:54,460 --> 00:28:58,060
I'm hoping you enjoyed that
very muchness.
431
00:28:58,060 --> 00:29:02,100
Our next contestants...
Representing the outer hebrides...
432
00:29:02,100 --> 00:29:04,940
- It's us! - ..They are a
mother-and-a-son partnership.
433
00:29:04,940 --> 00:29:08,060
Bravo! Standing ovation. Encore!
434
00:29:08,060 --> 00:29:09,540
Sit down, you fool!
435
00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:11,220
They haven't dance yet!
436
00:29:12,420 --> 00:29:16,860
Please, as small a-smattering
of applause for two dancers
437
00:29:16,860 --> 00:29:22,340
that as much as we may try, we ain't
never going to forget.
438
00:29:22,340 --> 00:29:25,340
- The 'erberts!
- Applause and cheering
439
00:29:34,700 --> 00:29:37,460
Go stand over there. Over there.
440
00:29:37,460 --> 00:29:40,700
My heart will go on
by Celine Dion
441
00:29:49,340 --> 00:29:52,620
# my heart will go on... #
442
00:29:52,620 --> 00:29:55,420
dance beat begins, laughter
443
00:30:05,620 --> 00:30:08,020
My wife and son! Yes.
444
00:30:08,020 --> 00:30:14,180
# every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
445
00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:19,660
# that is how I know you go on
446
00:30:21,580 --> 00:30:24,700
# far across the distance
447
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:28,900
# and spaces between us
448
00:30:28,900 --> 00:30:34,420
# you have come to show you go on
449
00:30:36,660 --> 00:30:39,740
# near, far
450
00:30:39,740 --> 00:30:43,140
# wherever you are
451
00:30:43,140 --> 00:30:48,060
# I believe that the heart does
go on... #
452
00:30:48,060 --> 00:30:50,020
audience gasps
453
00:30:51,660 --> 00:30:57,340
# once more, you open the door
454
00:30:57,340 --> 00:31:00,500
# and you're here in my heart... #
455
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:03,500
I think there's still quite
a bit of the song to go.
456
00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:07,060
Get me up.
457
00:31:07,060 --> 00:31:08,740
Get me up!
458
00:31:08,740 --> 00:31:11,300
We raised the Titanic!
459
00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:13,380
Scattered applause
460
00:31:13,380 --> 00:31:15,060
- now swing me. - What?
461
00:31:15,060 --> 00:31:16,420
Swing me round!
462
00:31:20,180 --> 00:31:23,540
# love can touch us one time
463
00:31:23,540 --> 00:31:27,500
# and last for a lifetime
464
00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:32,220
# and never let go... #
465
00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:32,220
music slows and distorts
466
00:31:49,780 --> 00:31:51,420
Oh!
467
00:31:51,420 --> 00:31:53,020
Agh!
468
00:31:53,020 --> 00:31:54,380
Oh, no.
469
00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:58,060
- Agh! My bum!
- It really 'urt my bum!
470
00:31:58,060 --> 00:32:03,020
I mean,
flavio's buttocki, it is a-broken!
471
00:32:03,020 --> 00:32:04,660
Agh!
472
00:32:06,220 --> 00:32:08,700
You! You hurt flavio!
473
00:32:08,700 --> 00:32:10,820
You're a monster!
474
00:32:10,820 --> 00:32:13,100
Booing
475
00:32:10,820 --> 00:32:13,100
go on, get off the stage!
476
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:15,180
Get off!
477
00:32:15,180 --> 00:32:17,740
I've never met these people before
in my life.
478
00:32:19,580 --> 00:32:21,580
- It was him! - What?!
479
00:32:21,580 --> 00:32:24,620
Arrest him!
For grievous buttock harm!
480
00:32:24,620 --> 00:32:27,180
Jeering and booing
481
00:32:29,860 --> 00:32:32,620
no! I can't go back to prison!
482
00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:47,580
You again! Huh?
483
00:32:47,580 --> 00:32:50,020
Meowing, crowd approaches
484
00:32:55,180 --> 00:32:57,100
Cat wails, hisses
485
00:32:58,260 --> 00:33:00,940
- what's that?! - A cat?!
486
00:33:00,940 --> 00:33:03,020
Or a ghost.
487
00:33:03,020 --> 00:33:05,700
Snarling
488
00:33:03,020 --> 00:33:05,700
a cat ghost.
489
00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:25,860
Ma'am, pardon me, but we met
one night at the tower of London.
490
00:33:26,980 --> 00:33:30,700
I was with my gran, and we were
trying to steal your crown jewels.
491
00:33:30,700 --> 00:33:32,780
You kindly pardoned us.
492
00:33:32,780 --> 00:33:36,420
And I really need your help again
now.
493
00:33:38,540 --> 00:33:40,580
Your majesty?
494
00:33:40,580 --> 00:33:42,860
Your...queeniness?
495
00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:49,420
You're a wax figure?
496
00:33:49,420 --> 00:33:51,500
Where is he?!
497
00:33:49,420 --> 00:33:51,500
Banging at door
498
00:33:58,460 --> 00:34:00,260
Stop!
499
00:34:00,260 --> 00:34:01,900
Who are you?
500
00:34:08,660 --> 00:34:10,060
Please!
501
00:34:10,060 --> 00:34:12,260
I need to talk to you.
502
00:34:12,260 --> 00:34:14,420
Whirring
503
00:34:18,860 --> 00:34:20,380
who are you?
504
00:34:21,420 --> 00:34:23,020
Hey!
505
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:43,980
Hey! Hey, hey!
506
00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:50,820
Follow that hang glider!
507
00:34:50,820 --> 00:34:52,700
What is this - James Bond?!
508
00:34:52,700 --> 00:34:54,900
Please, before they get away!
509
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:56,700
Right you are, guv.
510
00:35:09,820 --> 00:35:12,460
That'll be £12.70, please,
young man.
511
00:35:12,460 --> 00:35:16,140
I'm so sorry, we don't carry money
in the secret service.
512
00:35:16,140 --> 00:35:18,500
Oi! Come back here! Oi!
513
00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:12,180
Long night, innit?
514
00:36:15,180 --> 00:36:17,180
What did you have for dinner?
515
00:36:17,180 --> 00:36:18,780
Beef. Obviously. You?
516
00:36:18,780 --> 00:36:20,340
Beef.
517
00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:30,740
Strikes match
518
00:36:36,780 --> 00:36:38,340
No!
519
00:36:38,340 --> 00:36:39,820
Who is that?
520
00:36:41,100 --> 00:36:42,580
Your majesty?
521
00:36:44,020 --> 00:36:45,260
It was you?
522
00:36:48,700 --> 00:36:51,180
And who, may I ask, are you?
523
00:36:51,180 --> 00:36:55,860
It's me, Ben. I met you right here
one night, with my gran.
524
00:36:55,860 --> 00:36:58,500
Oh, yes, I remember!
525
00:36:59,540 --> 00:37:01,740
You tried to steal the crown jewels.
526
00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:04,700
Are you back for another attempt?
527
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:06,460
No, I followed you here.
528
00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:08,980
- I found your wax figure. - Drat!
529
00:37:08,980 --> 00:37:10,980
That was the perfect alibi.
530
00:37:10,980 --> 00:37:14,620
The world would think I was
at the palladium all night.
531
00:37:14,620 --> 00:37:17,420
They think it was me
that stole everything.
532
00:37:17,420 --> 00:37:22,140
No! One will have to consider
carefully what to do.
533
00:37:24,260 --> 00:37:27,140
- Ma'am? - No, shush, no, I'm thinking.
534
00:37:27,140 --> 00:37:28,620
No, it's just...
535
00:37:28,620 --> 00:37:30,820
You're holding dynamite.
536
00:37:30,820 --> 00:37:33,020
Oh, yes.
537
00:37:33,020 --> 00:37:34,740
So one is.
538
00:37:34,740 --> 00:37:36,260
Fiddlesticks.
539
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:42,940
It won't go out.
540
00:37:46,780 --> 00:37:48,420
What can we do?
541
00:37:48,420 --> 00:37:50,500
We can't throw it out of the window.
542
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:53,900
What about the beefeaters?
What about the baby ravens?
543
00:37:58,140 --> 00:37:59,620
I have an idea.
544
00:38:12,260 --> 00:38:13,980
Toilet flushes
545
00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,500
boom!
546
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,740
That was a big one.
547
00:38:20,740 --> 00:38:22,820
How did you know about this privy?
548
00:38:22,820 --> 00:38:25,860
It was toilet of the week
in plumbers weekly.
549
00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:28,140
I must get a subscription.
550
00:38:29,860 --> 00:38:31,500
Toodle-pip.
551
00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:32,980
Hey, wait!
552
00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:36,140
I'm not going yet.
You've got some explaining to do.
553
00:38:36,140 --> 00:38:37,940
Does one?
554
00:38:37,940 --> 00:38:41,700
Why is her majesty the queen
stealing her own crown jewels?
555
00:38:41,700 --> 00:38:43,180
Well,
556
00:38:43,180 --> 00:38:45,260
when I met your granny,
557
00:38:45,260 --> 00:38:48,540
I realised I had never done
anything
558
00:38:48,540 --> 00:38:51,060
as daring as that in all my life.
559
00:38:51,060 --> 00:38:55,260
I mean, it's wonderful being queen,
but one never, ever gets a chance
560
00:38:55,260 --> 00:38:58,660
to do anything
in the least bit naughty.
561
00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:02,940
And so I...Well, I suppose I did it
562
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:04,620
for the thrill.
563
00:39:04,620 --> 00:39:09,140
You became the black cat,
the new gangsta granny?
564
00:39:09,140 --> 00:39:10,900
Yes.
565
00:39:10,900 --> 00:39:14,940
You stole the mask of tutankhamun
and the world cup!
566
00:39:14,940 --> 00:39:17,900
I prefer the word "borrowed".
567
00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:19,940
They're in my rucksack.
568
00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:23,460
- Weighs a ton. - Oh, I bet.
- One doesn't want to keep them,
569
00:39:23,460 --> 00:39:27,460
but with the nation's police force
on high alert,
570
00:39:27,460 --> 00:39:30,460
it's becoming rather tricky
to return them.
571
00:39:30,460 --> 00:39:32,420
Maybe I could help.
572
00:39:32,420 --> 00:39:35,260
Oh, splendid, Ben!
573
00:39:36,780 --> 00:39:39,180
Perhaps your granny could help too.
574
00:39:43,340 --> 00:39:46,860
Oh, Ben, I am so sorry.
575
00:39:46,860 --> 00:39:49,900
Yeah...I've been lost without her.
576
00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:57,460
The queen has a used tissue
up her sleeve?
577
00:39:57,460 --> 00:39:59,420
All grannies do.
578
00:39:59,420 --> 00:40:00,820
It's a rule.
579
00:40:02,140 --> 00:40:03,540
Who goes there?!
580
00:40:03,540 --> 00:40:05,340
Get the door! Quick!
581
00:40:05,340 --> 00:40:06,660
Follow me.
582
00:40:07,940 --> 00:40:10,180
Linda sobs
583
00:40:10,180 --> 00:40:12,420
mumbles incoherently
584
00:40:14,380 --> 00:40:18,580
no, the dance competition didn't
go as well as we'd hoped.
585
00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:25,140
Yes, you did bring shame
on the outer hebrides.
586
00:40:25,140 --> 00:40:28,300
And I blamed it on Ben,
and it wasn't his fault.
587
00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:31,100
Yeah, you did unfairly put
all the blame on Ben.
588
00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:33,820
Where on earth is he?
589
00:40:33,820 --> 00:40:36,340
I don't know, I mean, he's not here,
is he?
590
00:40:36,340 --> 00:40:39,380
What have we done?
What have we done?!
591
00:40:47,340 --> 00:40:50,580
Certainly something one doesn't do
very often.
592
00:40:50,580 --> 00:40:53,340
We need to go somewhere safe,
where we can make a plan.
593
00:40:55,100 --> 00:40:57,900
My place is swarming with guards.
594
00:40:57,900 --> 00:40:59,500
Can we go to yours?
595
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:01,620
Oh, I'm in disgrace with my folks
596
00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:04,020
for breaking flavio flavioli's
bottom.
597
00:41:04,020 --> 00:41:06,380
Oh! Such a lovely bottom, too.
598
00:41:06,380 --> 00:41:09,180
Like a perfectly ripe peach.
599
00:41:12,340 --> 00:41:14,500
We need someone we can trust.
600
00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:17,900
I know where to go.
601
00:41:18,980 --> 00:41:21,620
I've never been on a bus before.
It's so exciting!
602
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:25,100
Do they always stop
by those little sticks?
603
00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:28,460
- Well, they're called bus stops.
- Ah! - But, yeah. Right.
604
00:41:28,460 --> 00:41:30,460
This is our destination.
605
00:41:30,460 --> 00:41:32,260
- Raj's news? - Raj!
606
00:41:32,260 --> 00:41:34,220
Raj!
607
00:41:34,220 --> 00:41:35,860
She whistles
608
00:41:41,260 --> 00:41:44,100
- Ben! - Can you let us in, please?
609
00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:45,980
Who is that with you?
610
00:41:45,980 --> 00:41:47,460
Oh!
611
00:41:47,460 --> 00:41:48,700
Hello!
612
00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:49,900
Hello.
613
00:41:52,580 --> 00:41:53,900
Ah!
614
00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:08,460
- Bell jangles
- welcome, my most majestical majesty.
615
00:42:08,460 --> 00:42:12,100
My number-one favourite customer
of all time.
616
00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:13,580
Thank you.
617
00:42:13,580 --> 00:42:15,540
Now, I do declare this shop open.
618
00:42:17,460 --> 00:42:20,260
Oh, I'm so sorry!
It's a force of habit.
619
00:42:20,260 --> 00:42:22,060
Welcome.
620
00:42:25,420 --> 00:42:27,500
Oh, sweets!
621
00:42:32,700 --> 00:42:35,260
Help yourself, your majesty.
622
00:42:35,260 --> 00:42:36,940
Everything is price-marked.
623
00:42:36,940 --> 00:42:38,260
One would pay,
624
00:42:38,260 --> 00:42:40,660
but sadly, one never carries cash.
625
00:42:42,260 --> 00:42:45,460
Get that woman out of here
before she eats all my stock.
626
00:42:45,460 --> 00:42:46,980
Ah!
627
00:42:48,020 --> 00:42:49,980
We're in trouble. Big trouble.
628
00:42:49,980 --> 00:42:53,500
I stole the mask of tutankhamun
and the world cup.
629
00:42:53,500 --> 00:42:56,700
She borrowed them,
and we need to put them back.
630
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,420
Are you the black cat?
631
00:42:58,420 --> 00:43:00,260
For shizzle!
632
00:43:00,260 --> 00:43:02,180
Gangsta queenie!
633
00:43:03,460 --> 00:43:07,020
Boom! I think as long as we have Ben
to help,
634
00:43:07,020 --> 00:43:10,460
we can return the loot.
Wembley first, then the museum.
635
00:43:10,460 --> 00:43:13,180
- What about your wax figure?
- Oh, drat!
636
00:43:13,180 --> 00:43:16,060
- One forgot!
- The one from madame tussauds?
637
00:43:16,060 --> 00:43:19,620
It was an alibi, but it's still
in the royal box at the palladium.
638
00:43:20,620 --> 00:43:23,980
Aha. Sounds like a job
for the raj-mobile!
639
00:43:23,980 --> 00:43:27,660
Oh, thank you, raj, you're the best!
Right, let's go.
640
00:43:28,660 --> 00:43:31,180
Oh, fizzy worms!
641
00:43:31,180 --> 00:43:33,100
Don't mind if one does!
642
00:43:34,660 --> 00:43:36,180
We need to get to Wembley.
643
00:43:38,580 --> 00:43:40,180
Are we getting another bus?
644
00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:42,900
Actually, I've got my own wheels,
just around the corner.
645
00:43:46,620 --> 00:43:48,460
Now we've got you.
646
00:43:51,620 --> 00:43:53,900
These biscuits are stale!
647
00:43:59,100 --> 00:44:00,780
How do we get in?
648
00:44:00,780 --> 00:44:04,100
Last time, I landed on the pitch
with my hang glider.
649
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:05,740
I've got an idea.
650
00:44:05,740 --> 00:44:07,180
Plumbing-based?
651
00:44:07,180 --> 00:44:09,780
Wembley stadium has
a brand-new sprinkler system.
652
00:44:09,780 --> 00:44:12,780
And according to plumbers weekly,
there's a maintenance hatch
653
00:44:12,780 --> 00:44:15,780
near here that leads straight
to the stadium tunnel.
654
00:44:15,780 --> 00:44:17,380
But where's the hatch?
655
00:44:21,060 --> 00:44:23,500
I think you might be standing on it.
656
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:24,860
Oh!
657
00:44:30,580 --> 00:44:31,940
Come on.
658
00:44:31,940 --> 00:44:33,420
You're very brave.
659
00:44:33,420 --> 00:44:35,300
One is only old once.
660
00:44:35,300 --> 00:44:36,780
Right.
661
00:44:51,340 --> 00:44:54,020
Cheering echoes
662
00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:06,060
She gasps
663
00:45:07,100 --> 00:45:08,860
back in a jiffy!
664
00:45:14,740 --> 00:45:17,020
England!
665
00:45:17,020 --> 00:45:18,540
And Scotland,
666
00:45:18,540 --> 00:45:20,940
wales, northern Ireland
667
00:45:20,940 --> 00:45:24,420
and all the nations
of the commonwealth!
668
00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:29,700
Come on.
669
00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:35,500
2-0! Her majesty the queen scores
the winning goal!
670
00:45:36,660 --> 00:45:38,580
Now, your maj.
671
00:45:45,540 --> 00:45:46,860
Come on.
672
00:45:56,540 --> 00:45:58,020
Ben,
673
00:45:58,020 --> 00:46:00,940
would you like to hold the world cup
before one puts it back?
674
00:46:00,940 --> 00:46:03,220
Nah,
I'm not bothered about football.
675
00:46:03,220 --> 00:46:04,780
Oh.
676
00:46:04,780 --> 00:46:06,820
Mwah!
677
00:46:08,340 --> 00:46:09,980
Cheering echoes
678
00:46:14,420 --> 00:46:16,060
radio chatter
679
00:46:16,060 --> 00:46:18,500
we need to go - now. Come on.
680
00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:20,020
This way.
681
00:46:34,460 --> 00:46:35,820
Good as new.
682
00:46:35,820 --> 00:46:37,780
Well, well, well.
683
00:46:39,780 --> 00:46:41,500
It is I,
684
00:46:41,500 --> 00:46:46,580
mr Parker, your friendly
neighbourhood watch leader.
685
00:46:46,580 --> 00:46:50,020
You're both under citizen's arrest.
686
00:46:50,020 --> 00:46:56,100
I knew you'd return to the scene
of the crime,
687
00:46:56,100 --> 00:46:59,860
like a kitten returning
688
00:46:59,860 --> 00:47:01,700
to its litter tray.
689
00:47:01,700 --> 00:47:04,140
Don't think you can get away.
690
00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:06,900
Oof!
691
00:47:16,940 --> 00:47:18,900
It's a fair cop.
692
00:47:20,460 --> 00:47:22,860
One is the guilty party.
693
00:47:22,860 --> 00:47:25,340
But the boy is innocent.
694
00:47:25,340 --> 00:47:27,860
Just me and not him.
695
00:47:27,860 --> 00:47:29,460
Your majesty?!
696
00:47:30,580 --> 00:47:33,060
- Could it really be you? - Yes.
697
00:47:33,060 --> 00:47:34,900
And I'm ready to do my time.
698
00:47:34,900 --> 00:47:37,380
One has never been in jail before.
699
00:47:37,380 --> 00:47:39,180
Is it fun?
700
00:47:39,180 --> 00:47:42,100
- No, I can't arrest the queen.
- I will!
701
00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:43,820
Lock her up!
702
00:47:43,820 --> 00:47:45,860
Would anyone like a crisp?
703
00:47:45,860 --> 00:47:47,980
I brought them from home.
704
00:47:47,980 --> 00:47:52,300
I definitely didn't take them
from the museum cafe over there.
705
00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:54,860
Can we get back to the matter
in hand?
706
00:47:54,860 --> 00:47:58,420
Perhaps her majesty was
just borrowing the things.
707
00:47:58,420 --> 00:47:59,900
Yes.
708
00:48:00,980 --> 00:48:03,380
For regal purposes.
709
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:08,460
And we can say that that I,
mr Parker, of lower toddle,
710
00:48:08,460 --> 00:48:11,980
found the mask in a skip
and returned it.
711
00:48:11,980 --> 00:48:14,660
Thank you, mr Parker.
712
00:48:14,660 --> 00:48:17,340
And in recognition
of all you have done
713
00:48:17,340 --> 00:48:18,780
for neighbourhood watching,
714
00:48:18,780 --> 00:48:22,140
I would like to bestow a knighthood
on you
715
00:48:22,140 --> 00:48:25,140
for services to nosey parkering.
716
00:48:25,140 --> 00:48:26,860
Are you sure that's wise?
717
00:48:26,860 --> 00:48:28,820
You don't want to encourage him.
718
00:48:28,820 --> 00:48:30,620
Fetch me a sword.
719
00:48:34,420 --> 00:48:36,660
This is the greatest day of my life.
720
00:48:37,740 --> 00:48:40,660
Ah, the sword of tiberius, no less.
721
00:48:40,660 --> 00:48:42,580
- Thank you. - Mm!
722
00:48:42,580 --> 00:48:44,220
Kneel.
723
00:48:44,220 --> 00:48:45,980
Thank you, ma'am.
724
00:48:45,980 --> 00:48:47,980
You're too kind, ma'am.
725
00:48:47,980 --> 00:48:49,940
I hope I'm not grovelling, ma'am.
726
00:48:49,940 --> 00:48:51,540
Just a little bit.
727
00:48:52,740 --> 00:48:55,500
Now, arise, sir Parker.
728
00:48:58,940 --> 00:49:00,500
Thank you.
729
00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:02,420
And now I'd like to make
a short speech.
730
00:49:02,420 --> 00:49:04,220
Sorry, mr Parker, there is no time.
731
00:49:04,220 --> 00:49:07,020
- Sir Parker. - We have to get
to madame tussauds
732
00:49:07,020 --> 00:49:08,860
to meet raj before it opens.
733
00:49:10,260 --> 00:49:15,060
I would like to thank all you
old folk for all you do
734
00:49:15,060 --> 00:49:16,940
for our nation.
735
00:49:16,940 --> 00:49:21,540
- If it was up to me, I'd lock you up
and throw away the key! - Charmed!
736
00:49:28,540 --> 00:49:31,860
- New wax figure delivery.
- Who is it? - Madonna.
737
00:49:31,860 --> 00:49:34,180
Get her in quick, please.
We're about to open.
738
00:49:39,220 --> 00:49:40,620
There.
739
00:49:45,940 --> 00:49:48,580
- Oh, blast and bother! - What?
740
00:49:48,580 --> 00:49:51,740
One has to go on
to another engagement.
741
00:49:51,740 --> 00:49:55,100
One can't possibly go to the
state opening of parliament
742
00:49:55,100 --> 00:49:57,500
dressed as the Batman.
743
00:49:57,500 --> 00:50:00,100
This would look very fetching
on you.
744
00:50:01,260 --> 00:50:02,780
It does!
745
00:50:02,780 --> 00:50:05,980
We could swap!
Everybody, please turn round.
746
00:50:13,540 --> 00:50:15,340
Everybody, please turn back.
747
00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:18,060
That was quick!
748
00:50:18,060 --> 00:50:20,820
One has to be a quick dresser
in this game.
749
00:50:22,540 --> 00:50:24,580
Oh, Ben,
750
00:50:24,580 --> 00:50:28,820
this has been the most thrilling
night of my life.
751
00:50:28,820 --> 00:50:31,100
And it's all thanks to you.
752
00:50:31,100 --> 00:50:33,580
It's been the most thrilling night
of my life, too.
753
00:50:33,580 --> 00:50:35,060
Well, not forgetting the night
754
00:50:35,060 --> 00:50:37,580
that me and my gran
stole your jewels.
755
00:50:37,580 --> 00:50:39,860
If it hadn't been
for your grandmother,
756
00:50:39,860 --> 00:50:41,540
we would never have met.
757
00:50:41,540 --> 00:50:43,820
She was a remarkable lady.
758
00:50:43,820 --> 00:50:45,220
She was.
759
00:50:46,900 --> 00:50:48,300
I loved her so much.
760
00:50:49,940 --> 00:50:52,020
Oh, Ben.
761
00:50:52,020 --> 00:50:56,580
You still love your granny,
and you always will.
762
00:50:57,860 --> 00:51:02,500
And she will be with you forever,
in there.
763
00:51:04,500 --> 00:51:06,100
Thanks.
764
00:51:06,100 --> 00:51:08,060
We grannies know these things.
765
00:51:10,340 --> 00:51:11,740
Here.
766
00:51:21,020 --> 00:51:23,820
She gasps
767
00:51:21,020 --> 00:51:23,820
oh! They're already open!
768
00:51:23,820 --> 00:51:26,660
One is so conspicuous.
What to do?
769
00:51:26,660 --> 00:51:28,580
- Uh, pretend you're a wax figure!
- How?
770
00:51:30,060 --> 00:51:34,140
Oh, gee! It's
the queen, of old merry England!
771
00:51:34,140 --> 00:51:37,220
- I need a selfie to show
the folks back home. - Me too!
772
00:51:39,340 --> 00:51:41,780
She's much older
than she looks on TV.
773
00:51:41,780 --> 00:51:43,620
So wrinkly!
774
00:51:43,620 --> 00:51:46,140
- How dare you?! - Argh! - Oh!
- It spoke!
775
00:51:46,140 --> 00:51:49,180
Say one more rude thing, and I will
order the invasion of america.
776
00:51:49,180 --> 00:51:51,820
Just one of our new
talking wax figures.
777
00:51:51,820 --> 00:51:53,500
Yeah, very realistic.
778
00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:56,300
Bit too realistic, if you ask me.
779
00:51:56,300 --> 00:51:58,900
Right this way, roboqueen.
780
00:52:07,940 --> 00:52:10,860
Farewell, Ben and mr raj.
781
00:52:10,860 --> 00:52:13,140
We couldn't have done it
without you.
782
00:52:13,140 --> 00:52:15,540
You are welcome back to my shop
any time.
783
00:52:15,540 --> 00:52:18,340
Ah, with appropriate money,
of course.
784
00:52:18,340 --> 00:52:19,780
Thank you.
785
00:52:19,780 --> 00:52:22,700
Well, back to the day job.
786
00:52:22,700 --> 00:52:24,620
Taxi!
787
00:52:28,020 --> 00:52:30,060
Buckingham Palace, please.
788
00:52:30,060 --> 00:52:33,020
Thought you'd say that.
Hop in, your maj.
789
00:52:33,020 --> 00:52:36,380
Big fan, by the way.
I've got all your stamps.
790
00:52:37,740 --> 00:52:39,340
Oh!
791
00:52:39,340 --> 00:52:41,780
So you are in the secret service!
792
00:52:47,380 --> 00:52:50,180
Ben, you'd better be off home.
793
00:52:50,180 --> 00:52:53,100
After what happened with flavio
and his bottom injury,
794
00:52:53,100 --> 00:52:54,860
my parents must be furious with me.
795
00:52:54,860 --> 00:52:58,660
They'll be worried sick about you,
Ben. They love you.
796
00:52:59,980 --> 00:53:01,540
Raj knows it.
797
00:53:14,220 --> 00:53:17,500
Oh, hello there! My little guardian
angel!
798
00:53:19,300 --> 00:53:23,780
- You've been looking out for me
wherever I go. - Oh, my Benny!
799
00:53:23,780 --> 00:53:25,580
- Oh! - Son!
800
00:53:25,580 --> 00:53:27,820
I was so worried about you.
801
00:53:27,820 --> 00:53:29,780
I didn't know what happened to you.
802
00:53:29,780 --> 00:53:31,820
I didn't sleep a wink all night.
803
00:53:31,820 --> 00:53:33,540
And I only dozed off
804
00:53:33,540 --> 00:53:35,300
for seven or eight hours at most.
805
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:37,300
Yeah. Why didn't you come home?
806
00:53:37,300 --> 00:53:38,980
I thought you'd be mad at me
807
00:53:38,980 --> 00:53:41,180
because I let you down so badly
with the dancing.
808
00:53:42,380 --> 00:53:46,140
Oh, Ben, look, we...We shouldn't be
making you ballroom dance.
809
00:53:46,140 --> 00:53:48,020
It's not your thing.
810
00:53:48,020 --> 00:53:49,700
Plumbing's your passion.
811
00:53:49,700 --> 00:53:51,500
Yeah, we mean it this time.
812
00:53:51,500 --> 00:53:54,460
We want you to be the best plumbman
there is.
813
00:53:54,460 --> 00:53:56,820
It's plumber, but thanks!
814
00:53:56,820 --> 00:53:59,300
Oh, and I think flavio is
going to be ok.
815
00:53:59,300 --> 00:54:02,460
If he needs a transplant, I offered
one of your father's buttocks.
816
00:54:02,460 --> 00:54:04,060
You did what?
817
00:54:04,060 --> 00:54:06,140
Oh, and, mum, dad,
818
00:54:06,140 --> 00:54:08,180
I hope you don't mind,
819
00:54:08,180 --> 00:54:09,940
but we've just adopted a cat.
820
00:54:11,420 --> 00:54:13,140
Aww!
821
00:54:13,140 --> 00:54:15,460
Purring
822
00:54:13,140 --> 00:54:15,460
hello, darling. Aww!
823
00:54:16,580 --> 00:54:20,980
Oh, come in, you. Come on, don't
you go missing like that again.
824
00:54:43,060 --> 00:54:46,180
What kind of valve do you use
on larger pipes?
825
00:54:46,180 --> 00:54:47,700
Butterfly.
826
00:54:49,300 --> 00:54:50,780
Correct!
827
00:54:50,780 --> 00:54:52,860
You're doing very well, Ben.
828
00:54:52,860 --> 00:54:56,340
Whilst none of us have got
a single question right!
829
00:54:56,340 --> 00:54:57,900
Oh, what time is it?
830
00:54:57,900 --> 00:55:01,580
Oh, open the fruit jellies,
it's time for our queenie!
831
00:55:01,580 --> 00:55:03,540
Come on. Sit, Ben.
832
00:55:03,540 --> 00:55:05,060
- Thank you. - There you go.
833
00:55:11,220 --> 00:55:14,420
All of us can often feel
834
00:55:14,420 --> 00:55:17,980
that our lives have been mapped out
for us,
835
00:55:17,980 --> 00:55:22,060
as if the accident of our birth
dictated
836
00:55:22,060 --> 00:55:24,180
that we follow one path.
837
00:55:25,220 --> 00:55:28,540
Sometimes, whoever we are,
838
00:55:28,540 --> 00:55:31,460
we need to break out
839
00:55:31,460 --> 00:55:33,980
and follow our dreams.
840
00:55:36,540 --> 00:55:39,580
I'm going to have another look
at that dripping tap.
841
00:55:44,420 --> 00:55:46,140
Miaows
842
00:55:56,180 --> 00:55:58,180
The queen's right, Ben.
843
00:55:59,340 --> 00:56:00,940
Granny?
844
00:56:00,940 --> 00:56:03,260
All you've got to do is follow
your dreams.
845
00:56:03,260 --> 00:56:05,260
Like we did.
846
00:56:06,380 --> 00:56:08,260
I miss you so much, granny.
847
00:56:09,260 --> 00:56:10,740
I know.
848
00:56:10,740 --> 00:56:13,380
But I'll always be by your side,
Ben.
849
00:56:14,500 --> 00:56:15,900
Promise?
850
00:56:15,900 --> 00:56:17,700
I promise.
851
00:56:21,060 --> 00:56:22,340
Miaows
852
00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:32,980
Thank you so much for having me over
for Christmas.
853
00:56:32,980 --> 00:56:34,780
I would have been on my own.
854
00:56:34,780 --> 00:56:37,460
Esha, you're welcome any time.
855
00:56:37,460 --> 00:56:39,380
Well, no, not tomorrow,
856
00:56:39,380 --> 00:56:41,940
as we've got his cousins coming
over, and they eat us
857
00:56:41,940 --> 00:56:43,260
- out of house and home. - Oh!
858
00:56:43,260 --> 00:56:45,940
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
859
00:56:45,940 --> 00:56:47,540
Come on.
860
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:52,980
Well, esha, I, er, I'd better get
you home.
861
00:56:54,700 --> 00:56:56,580
Unless...
862
00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:59,380
..Of course,
you feel like an adventure.
863
00:56:59,380 --> 00:57:02,820
What? Oh, yes, please!
864
00:57:02,820 --> 00:57:04,980
I've never had an adventure!
865
00:57:09,980 --> 00:57:11,620
Where are we going to go?
866
00:57:11,620 --> 00:57:13,220
Wherever your heart takes you.
867
00:57:13,220 --> 00:57:17,700
- Well, then, Ben, let's burn some
rubber! - And follow our dreams.
868
00:57:22,580 --> 00:57:25,940
# so kiss me under the mistletoe
869
00:57:25,940 --> 00:57:30,020
# pour out the wine, let's toast
and pray for December snow
870
00:57:30,020 --> 00:57:34,460
# I know there's been pain this
year, but it's time to let it go
871
00:57:34,460 --> 00:57:36,940
# next year, you never know
872
00:57:36,940 --> 00:57:39,940
# but for now, merry Christmas... #
873
00:57:39,940 --> 00:57:42,700
my dream is to be
874
00:57:42,700 --> 00:57:45,180
a ballroom dancer!
875
00:57:45,180 --> 00:57:47,780
Salsa cubana
by ace library
876
00:57:47,780 --> 00:57:50,820
- mm!
- Thanks to the queen's a-magic touch,
877
00:57:50,820 --> 00:57:53,420
flavio's buttock is healed!
878
00:57:53,420 --> 00:57:56,980
Now, let's-a burn up the floor!
61852
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof