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A SHARD OF THE UNIVERSE

EPISODE 2

Borya, I lost him.

What do you expect? He drank a lot.
He must be having fun.

You've got to be kidding.

Actually, he has the right.

What if she has flu or herpes?

I passed my exam today.

- What did you get?
- 4.8.

I was stopped
at the loss of piping integrity.

Do you work at Gazprom?

I'm an astronaut.

- Guys, I'd stop.
- Sure.

It's just my soleus muscle
saying goodbye to the earth.

That's not what you think.
It's a muscle in the calf.

A gravity tester.

Gennadyevich is like a young man.
130 over 70.

- He's not that old.
- How's his ocular fundus?

Fine.

- He gained weight.
- Passive and postural are good.

There's problem with...

Ah, no, it's good.

Maxillary sinuses are normal.

Root resection, right first molar.

Granuloma.

This is our area.

Myopia 3.2.

It does not progress.

This is not even interesting.

Why? Inguinal roughness.

Where did he rub himself? Mycosis?

Come on! You know what his program is?

A healthy man's energy use
to optimize the astronaut's diet

and fight world obesity.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?

Okay.

How long do you plan
to stay at your friends?

No, I'll be home soon.

Their parents start to worry.

They may report you to the juvenile court.

It'd be a pity you'll be indicted.

There are events
where we have to show up as a family.

Your dad passed the exam and medical.

Next, breakfast in Zvezdny,
laying flowers at the monument.

Sorry, do I have to hold your old shoulders
and say, "Is daddy coming back?"

- No. You can behave like a prick.
- What's that?

To betray?
Or to f*** behind someone's back?

One moment more, please.

Great! I got this.

Once more.

Do you want some music on?

As you wish.

Hi! Find the place okay?

Come on, I'll show you
where the rooms and the pool are.

- Matvey, say hi.
- Hi!

- Hi!
- Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello!

Look! Your plane!

Where would you go, Africa or Thailand?

Africa, of course.

I don't care.
There are monkeys in both places.

Where would you like to go?

Do you sell the flask?

This is for you from our travel agency.

- Really?
- Yes.

- Thanks.
- We'll pay for the tour today.

- Don't worry.
- I'll give it to my guys.

They're having a farewell party today.

You're not going there, are you?

I am going.

Were you invited?

- Any other questions?
- I'll give you a few minutes alone.

Misha, it's their flight.

Can I congratulate them?

Please don't go.

I can go to South Africa,
but I can't go to Rybino.

Some bills must be put in a white bag,
others in a transparent one.

Lena, I'll go crazy in six months.
I'm just going to go crazy.

Skates or skis?

No, thanks.

- Vodka or wine?
- I don't drink alcohol.

At all?

You'll be okay if I fart in front of you?

Absolutely.

I like companionable people.

Is this a new project?

Yes, this is a country house.

Do you do everything yourself?
From design to it's implementation?

Yes.

I can tell you and Andrey are a couple.
People who are meant to be together.

On the other hand,
this marriage is strange to me.

Do you know her? This is Olya,
Timur's wife. She's a student of mine.

Yes, Andrey told me that Timur remarried.

She'd been in love with him
since first grade.

Just like other girls.

Everyone has grown out of it,
but not Olya.

She gave us a lot of trouble.

Especially after the incident
in the 10th grade.

But there's always a chance
to marry a prince, or Robert De Niro.

- This is about Robert again?
- Exactly!

'Cause he doesn't eat pork with potatoes
and gravy at night.

Sure, everyone is perfect.

I'll go help.

Hello. The area is closed.

- I'm going to my friends.
- The area is closed.

Closed for who?

I've been a pilot astronaut since 1994.

There's my crew.

What is your last name?
Everyone on the list are already here.

I'm Semenov.

Yeah, I'm not going.
But I was supposed to.

I'll call the superior. Hold on, please.

Stop, please.

Excuse me.

Excuse...

- Are you cold?
- I'm fine.

- Please!
- I'll shovel up the snow.

- Why?
- Come on.

I'm sick of dancing.

Once Gennadyevich flew with two women:
a Hindu and an American.

They say the whole station
was covered in hair.

- Really?
- Gennadyevich!

Will the panties be there?

We'll see when we get there.

They had an incident.

Flying panties.

Pink ones, with cat.

The girls said it wasn't their panties.

But everyone had seen them.

- Could it be someone's wife's underwear?
- No. This is strictly documented.

Damn.

I want to consecrate
wedding rings this time.

Mom scolds me.

What are you taking with you?

16 chipmunks.

I want to make family happy
with this tiny things.

Blue Chipmunk Astronaut
in Spacesuit Souvenir.

I met a girl.
And told her I was an astronaut.

She said I was stupid.

Because everyone flies into space.

- Let's drink.
- Let's dance.

- Stop eating! Let's go!
- Okay.

How about a dance?

You can go there, of course.

But who will be happy?

You? I don't think so.

Andrey Kamanin, who replaced you?

As for the crew's reaction...

I have a toast.

Kids asleep, the wife aslumber,

He lies listening to the rain.

Bang! He hears a sudden comer
Knocking on the windowpane.

"Yeah?"
"Hey, let me in there, master!"

"Cain, you found the time to roam!

Well, what is it, your disaster?

Let you in? It's dark at home,

Dark and crowded... What a pest you are!
Where'd I put you in my cot?.."

Finally with lazy gesture
He lifts up the pane - and what?

Out of clouds the moon was showing.

Well, a naked man was there,

Water down his beard a-flowing,

Wide the eyes, unmoved the stare.

Wholly numb the dreadful body,

Arms were hanging, feeble, thin;

Crabs and cancers, black and bloody,
Sucked into the swollen skin.

And the peasant slammed the shutter:

Recognized his visitant,

Horror-struck he could but mutter

"May you burst!" and start to pant.

No one likes to look into the eyes of those
who do they think they owe.

- Is that it?
- It is.

- Good night!
- Bye!

- Here's your room key.
- What about you?

We're going to bed, too.

Danya knows everything.

I see.

Don't worry, go to bed. It's big.

Just don't take the blanket completely.

I am really sorry.

What do you mean?

I didn't want it to happen that way.

Well.

It's probably my fault, too.

You had a problem with me.

For example, ugly ears.

Did you like my ears?

- Yeah.
- Great.

Do you know why you've never cheated on me?

'Cause you're squeamish.

'Cause you think
you're better than others.

Superior to others.

You have other goals.

And women are all the same.

You need any woman
as much as you need a washbasin.

A must-have? Sure.

Need to be replaced? Only if it breaks.

Can you blame someone
for not loving the washbasin?

I'm glad you met a lover of plumbers.

I fell in love with him.

And he fell in love with me.

Nadya, let's get some sleep.

Semyonov, is that you?

It's me, so what?

Stay there.

Don't stand there. You'll freeze.

Is this the last thing
you tell me before the flight?

Don't torture me.

I'm here to see you off.

All right.

Where have you been?

Look.

Bites are almost healed.

Why didn't you join us tonight?

What would've changed if I'd come?

- The psychologist knows best.
- Don't listen to him.

They say he yelled at the committee.

Like, the dog is innocent,
that I must go.

He yelled that Kamanin shouldn't go.

Tell me the truth, please.

What?

Was there nothing to be done?

Like, I don't know. Bang the table.

Tell them that they're rats!

All I have left is scars.

The flight is still two weeks away.

You know we can't change doctors' minds.

I can...

I can even swim in the ocean,
my wife and I are going to Africa.

You're a crew commander.
Support me, please.

Tell them!

They themselves don't want Kamanin to go.

Tell them to look at my leg.

Tell them
you're not f*** flying without me!

Let's find you a room.

And what will be tomorrow?

Astronauts and the alconaut.

It's a 20-minute wait for a cab.

Let's wait in the hall.

Do you remember...

in the winter taiga...

you were the first to get out of ship
and jump into the snow.

You were buried neck-deep in snow.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Where's mom?

I guess she's in the room.

Dad, did you make up?

- Let's go get breakfast.
- Wait, I want to understand.

You're so cultured,
you've lived together for 17 years.

- And then she says...
- that she met another person.

It happens, buddy.

You dance with her,
then go to bed in the same room,

even though you know
that some j*** touched her.

What did you want me to do?

Anything!
Or is the flight all that matters to you?

You don't care about me or our family?

Leave me alone, okay?

Stop!

Have you touched anything here yet?

We don't do laundry.
We just make the bed.

You'll have a launch in an upgraded ship.

In addition to the science program,

you'll have to take on five trucks,
perform over 170 experiments,

and most importantly,
the docking of a new research module,

unprecedented in the opportunity we give.

I'm sure the crew will do a decent job.

To the crew!

Come here for a photo, please.

Prepare, please.

I'm sorry!

Excuse me!

Prepare, please.

Once again. Smile, please!

That's it. Thanks!

Is that all?

There's also Chkalovsky aerodrome.

I don't have to be there.

Did you say goodbye to your father?

I'll say it now.

That's it, dad. Good luck!

- Hang on, son.
- Goodbye!

Goodbye!

I'll go by bus, okay?

Mom, don't.

- You know it's better to prevent it.
- No, mom!

You're not seeing him off to war.

Yeah, it's dangerous.
But they all come back.

Mom, do you know
what you're talking about?

No, no.

No, Olya, I don't.

I never lost or saw anyone off in my life.

Mom, he's my only reason for living.

I just wonder...

if he'd been a cab driver,
not Timur Kutovykh...

but just a kind,
regular, cheerful fellow...

I'm begging you, not today.

- I gave birth to a normal healthy girl...
- I am still healthy, mom!

They kept me in a mental hospital
for three months.

I didn't think about my parents or anyone.

Mommy!

Mom, why didn't you ever understand me?

Why have you kept hearing
only your own voice?

- Do you want this?
- No, thanks.

- Do you work in Zvezdny?
- No, in Moscow.

Okay. Good for you.

Please come this way.

Come here.

Well.

The main crew starts in 20 minutes.

And the backup crew starts
in another 10 minutes.

But before you fly out to Baikonur,

I want to ask you
a couple of serious questions.

Were there any crazy people in your family

who wanted to join the astronaut team?

Who was the first to go to outer space
and who was the first to be back?

And what would you do
in an extreme situation?

A. Call a friend.

B. Request help from the MCC.

C. Take the money and leave the project.

That's it.

- We believe in you!
- Families say goodbye.

Good luck!

If you have any questions,
please call me personally.

Alright!

Go!

That's it. Thanks. Live your life.

Families move back.

Move back.

Move back.

Come back soon!

She didn't mean it.

Take her.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!

You perfectly know what you can say
and what you can't.

- Remove her.
- Please, don't yell at her.

- Mom, go away!
- She'll be alright!

I'm so sorry!

- You're here too?
- Of course!

Why with us, not the backup crew?

'Cause the backup crew is alright.

How are you? Let's go, you're cold.

You're okay? Good.

What happened?

You can't wish to come back soon.

The flight may go out of order.
If they return soon, something is wrong.

Is this an omen or something?

- Like Friday the 13th or a black cat?
- Many people believe this.

Sorry, I don't understand.
She just said, "Come back!"

She didn't just say, "Come back!"
She said, "Come back soon!"

There's a difference.

You really don't understand much.

Let's go!

You're going to Moscow? Get in.

- Congrats!
- What?

On the end of the mayhem.

I'm Christina.
The crew commander's daughter.

I'm Danil.
Son of the first onboard engineer.

- What do you do?
- I'm in high school.

- You?
- I'm a second-year.

Which college are you aiming at?

I don't know yet.

Okay, screw the stupid talk.
Let's have a cigarette.

It's sucks to be a crowd, isn't it?

What do you mean?

I've been doing it
since elementary school.

Photo by the Kremlin wall.
Photo at the monument to Gagarin.

Get used to it, bro. We're just a set.

Excuse me.

- You're going?
- No-no, please, go.

I remembered the story.

My neighbor was afraid of doctors,

and she thought
she knew everything about herself

that she gave someone else's stool
at her checkup.

Great story.

A year later she was hospitalized
with third stage cancer.

It happens.

- I also wanted to ask.
- Oh, come on.

In the hotel.

In your room.

Never mind.

- Go.
- You sure?

Or should I start worrying about
what you found in my room?

Nuh. We look like two idiots
with wise dialogues next to a restroom.

- Also creating a line.
- You're right.

Hi!

- Hi.
- Did you warm it up?

I did.

- Do you want ham and cheese toast?
- No.

- Only cheese toast?
- I'm fine, thanks.

What are you watching?

Which mayonnaise is the best.

It's good.

Where's the rat?

In the stairwell.

What?

I kicked him out with the cage.
Maybe someone will take him.

- It's your rat!
- Don't talk to me like I'm a child.

Our lives have changed.
Don't you think a pet is out of place here?

Comrade First Deputy Designer General!

The Soyuz TMA-09M crew
arrived for pre-launch preparation.

The crew commander,
Lieutenant Colonel Yashin.

- Welcome, Gennady Gennadyevich!
- Hello!

- Timur Romanovich, welcome!
- Hello!

- Hello!
- Kazakh donuts!

Hello! Thanks.

Did you grab a bite? Now go to the bus.

There used to be a shoe store.

The left one is male
and the right one is female.

And there was a glass thing in between.
They called it the store between legs.

Tell this joke to Megan at the station.

Megan will make us nervous.

She complained about Gennadievich.

She refused to serve with him in one crew
'cause he was a chauvinist.

- Chauvinist!
- No, of course we're all chauvinists.

But him...
He's our chauvinist Darth Vader.

- Let's repaint your helmet black?
- What?

Just imagine, the hatch opens
and you're like...

Megan, prepare!

Now I'm going to say the word ass.

Woman's ass!

Andrey, are you chauvinist?

Are you chauvinist?

I don't know.

"I don't know."

- Welcome!
- Hi, Maksimovich!

- Hello.
- Hello!

I am the chief quarantine doctor,
Evgeny Maksimovich Sezonov.

- Andrey Kamanin.
- Nice to meet you.

No swimming in the pool.

Did you eat Kazakh donuts?

- Yes.
- I see. You'll take Enterosgel.

- How are you?
- I'm okay.

It used to be great when there were people
with machine guns on the perimeter.

- Agree.
- And now an iPad.

It can't be disinfected in orbit.
Do you want a cup of tea?

Let's go.

- Strong one?
- No.

Well?

- Kamanin.
- I see.

You wouldn't come with no reason.
What is it?

He is too good to be true.

He's perfect.
His motivations, tests, family life.

But his wife slept in her clothes
over the blankets last night.

I noticed lint from her sweater
on the bedding.

What if she just laid down on the bed
during the day?

What if she got cold, got dressed
and lay down in the sweater?

We all fight with our wives sometimes.

And we all go to space?

And we all have to go into outer space,
dock the new module and put cables on it?

Opening a new era
in the history of Russian cosmonautics.

Kamanin is the one
who stays at the station.

Kamanin is the one who'll watch over Yashin
as he crawls around the module.

What if something goes wrong?

Kamanin must observe
and instantly report any danger.

Without the delay, which is bound to happen
if he has a delayed stress reaction.

And I tell you this all the time.

They've been trained for eight years
to cope with stress.

Houdini was also taught to take a punch.

However, he missed it.

And for a while he lived,
not knowing that he was dying.

Lekha.

I'm not Lekha. I'm a Boogeyman.

The only one here.

And I'll be the Boogeyman.

I'll do everything
to keep this crew off the launch.