Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language, sexual scenes and references from the beginning

and throughout.

We are going to an eco-friendly retreat.

Is it a fucking porno, this?

Jack is coming in tomorrow.

Funny, beautiful.

I feel like getting away is just so broad.

Especially for you, Ricky, obviously, because there's a bit of tension there.

I didn't want to fall out with James and Lia.

It has to end. It's gone on long enough.

I am going back.

I'm really, really missing Jacob and Arthur Jacks now.

Tomorrow, Gaz is going to be back at the villa.

Cheers to having the best time moving forward.

Fucking right.

The best times of my life have been in this house.

Yeah.

Five million miles.

At the end of the day, we're a family.

If there's any way I can bring the family back together,

I'll try and make that happen.

What were them noises last night?

What noises?

Well, I heard kissing.

Yeah, we had a little kiss.

Was it just kissing?

Just kissing, yeah.

Don't worry.

No finger in action.

Do you know, I've never heard snoring that loud.

I don't know how you were asleep.

I can't believe I didn't hear it.

I must have been in a deep sleep.

It's fair to say that Jack has made an impression in the house.

Maybe not one that I'm too pleased with,

but what can I say?

He is a snorer.

Do you know what I love?

He's not afraid to show how much he just loves you so much.

I know.

He's got on with the lads so well as well, hasn't he?

Oh, God, yeah, I absolutely love him, Abi.

On a scale of one to ten,

how bad is his snoring?

Fuck me.

I would have rather slept next to an on blender.

The blender on, all night long.

That would have been easier.

You all right, lads?

Morning!

There he is, Limp Bizkit.

Fucking hell, Kyle seems to have woke up in the 90s.

I guess on today's to-do list,

breakfast at 10am in the Geordie Shore house

and a two o'clock audition for the Backstreet Boys.

Enjoyed your first night, though?

It was blinding, yeah.

But I had a right laugh, it was good.

Food was governor and all.

Food was governor.

He's more London than you.

It was, yeah, really tasty.

What was more tasty, the food or Abi?

Fucking hell, every time I looked over,

you were kissing her face off.

I love her.

It's fucking easy, isn't it, when you love them?

What the fuck is that crisp?

Broccoli crisp.

Looks like a fucking, a nail.

Looks like a, what do you call them, pigs of a pig?

What is that?

A broccoli crisp. A broccoli crisp?

Try it.

Was it nice?

No, that crisp was rotten.

Worst crisp I've ever fucking tasted in my life.

I don't want to go back now.

I love it here so much.

Going away and getting away from the villa,

the arguments, the tension,

has been absolute bliss for me.

Sydney, I think there's someone missing, obviously Hollywood.

Yeah, she left early this morning.

Really enjoyed our company,

considering whenever we weren't close in the slightest,

that old back in the day.

That's what this family does, it brings us all full circle.

What's been everyone's favourite part?

I loved the lake.

Did you?

Not because he was trying to hang out the back of his.

LAUGHTER

What do you call that thing when you put your balls on someone's face?

Teabagging.

Not because I've got teabags.

On your neck.

It was quite enjoyable, like.

They do joke about it, but I swear

there is something there, and it's not just

from Ricky's side. Chantelle

definitely has a soft spot for Ricky.

And I think they actually would make a lovely couple.

Shall we go pack our shit?

Yeah. Come on, then.

This retreat has been great

for us all, and especially Ricky.

It's really chilled him out

and given him a clear head.

But before we leave, I need to have a quiet chat with him.

Last night, I reached out

to Kyle with a phone call, because

we've got to fix this divide in the house.

I've got to tell Ricky, and I just hope he gets on board

with the plan we've come up with.

So I rang Kyle last night,

and I was just filling him in on how

the trip that we've had's been amazing.

And I said to him, look, I think

it's best that

James and Ricky speak

just to clear the air and try and move

forward. And he said, look, I'll speak

to James, and

maybe the four of us can

sit down together.

So not just you and James, there'll be me

and Kyle there as well, and we'll just iron it out.

How do you feel about that?

For me, having the time

to come out here and really think about stuff,

you know, it's given us breathing space.

And as much as

me, you, James, Lee

might not see eye to eye, I think

ultimately they've seen our side

and understood with our points.

And for me, that's positive.

They're back

later on, the whole rest of the family.

Yeah.

I had a chat with Jay. Jay

has said that Ricky wants to sit down

with me and James and talk

things through. Oh, I'm not talking

things through again.

No, it's literally a case of

draw a line in the sand. We're never gonna be

friends again. In theory,

Jay's plan is sound,

but by James' tone, I'm

not detecting that he's fully

on board with it. I need to make

sure everything's right

for James and Ricky's meet-up.

Because they've been travelling, they'll be knackered.

Instead of going out, I reckon do like a family

barbecue. Love barbecue.

A few beers in the sun. Cut the burgers,

cut the steaks. Cut the salts.

Yeah. Who's cooking?

Jack can do the drinks, you do the cooking.

Let's fucking have it. Let's fucking have it.

If anyone knows how to do a barbecue,

it's me and Jack. So show these Geordies

how to have a barbecue, Essex style.

See you later, girls.

Abi, I love you!

The longest-serving Geordian

after getting the fucking back.

I really want minty lamb chops.

Ah, yes, that's what I was gonna say.

Bam cofters, chicken, steak.

I'll do the sides. I fancy

a potato salad, a bit of chive, a bit of spring onion.

Fuck me, lamb

chops and potato salad?

Where I'm from, a barbecue is a sausage

and a burger.

I am missing Jacob and Alfred Jacks so much

so I've left the retreat early.

I'm back!

That's Holly. Hello.

I've popped back to get my stuff

and say goodbye to everyone.

So, did you enjoy it?

It was actually really nice.

Had our own bedrooms, our own showers,

our own toilet.

We were literally poo in peace.

Pooing in peace.

It was so good.

Did you hear about the phone call?

What phone call?

There was a phone call last night. From who?

Jay and Kyle.

Jay basically said that

they want to come back to a really, like,

diffused household

where they don't want any, like,

drama or arguments.

I think Jay and Kyle are kind of that

middle ground.

Where they can be like, look,

if everyone just kind of

says, OK, yeah,

we've all done something.

Let's just move on.

Why would you choose a British supermarket?

Why don't we go, like, Portuguese style?

Why don't you go to the Portuguese style one?

Shut up and get there, will you?

I'm not going to tell them,

but I never go for food shopping at home.

Fuck knows what they need here.

Even the trolley's small.

Kyle, get in.

I'm not having any of these Northern Donuts

drop anything, so I'm driving the trolley.

Right, come on.

Get off of my fucking trolley.

We'll invite Christian Dix, yeah?

Ah, this is another selection, eh?

We'll get some sauces.

Yeah, we'll get some spices.

Chorizo.

Me, Jack and Jordan, we're on it.

We know exactly what we're going to get.

It's like a military operation.

Bacon, a bit of cheeseburgers.

What have you got over there?

Lincolnshire. Yeah, go on.

Me and Jack are on meat duties,

James is on the veg and the sides.

I'll get some of them wraps.

Do you want some rice as well?

Do we need salad stuff?

Yeah.

It's just a shame that Kyle

hasn't got a fucking clue.

Kyle was messaging James a couple of weeks ago

and he was like,

because you know where your new house is?

He's trying to get us to house in the same street.

Yeah, do you know what?

We end up

living next door to each other.

They're going to cut this hole in the fence.

We'll never see them.

Me and you will just get in a relationship.

We'll have one house.

Do you want some Dion mustard?

Dion?

Who the hell is Dion?

It's Dijon.

French.

We're in Portugal.

Fucking southern smart arses.

Cheese for the burgers.

Get a few pickles.

Why don't we get some peanut butter?

Like fuck me and Jack are cooking.

Desserts, lads.

Vienneta.

Can't beat a bit of Vienneta.

That reminds you of going to your nan's.

Have we tightened for everybody?

Come on, Kyle, you're paying.

Soft shorted there.

Did you lie?

Don't know, it went straight through.

My bum's never been right for a while.

I've been hoping to see the kids

but I thought I'd come back,

see everyone and be here for the last few nights.

I actually had an amazing time here

so I can't actually wait to get in there

and see all them old faces.

Hello?

Oh, my God, it's you.

Where is everyone?

The only person I can see is Sophie

but who the fuck are they?

I don't know who anyone is.

Oh, my God, you've joined.

It's good to see you again.

Hello.

Leah.

Vicky, nice to meet you.

Where's everyone?

Everyone's been on a retreat, we stayed here.

It is nice to see Gary again

and it's nice that even after Gary had a few days at home

he still did decide to come back to the madhouse

and I do think we might see Gary

a little bit more often.

Right, you're going to put your little speedos on then?

Shut up, Sophie.

Gary, you'll never live it down.

I know.

You'll never live it down.

Funny.

We're leaving.

Thank you so much for having us.

It's been the best of times.

That was bloody great.

The retreat was absolutely amazing.

Nathan did really well.

I can't wait to get back to the others

because I have missed them.

Ta-da!

Woo!

I just hope to God

that the lads just leave their drama once and for all.

If I go back there to the house

and there's drama, I'm fucking going back to the retreat.

Fuck a duck, there's no one here.

That sounds like the lads are back

and it's about time.

As much as I love chilling in the sun

talking to James and Kyle's missus

that isn't what I came back for.

How's it going?

Honey, I'm home.

Oh, there he is.

Don't get us wrong, it's nice to see the lads

but I was expecting a few more

familiar faces, like where's Nathan?

Where's Ricky?

Where the hell is Aaron?

So, what is the plan for today?

I was thinking that we could go to an Irish bar

have a few drinks.

Anyone want to come to the Irish bar?

Definitely going to.

I need an air of the dog.

Guys can show us all how to play pool.

No, I'm not coming.

I still haven't been in this pool.

Better come and catch up

and then I'll see you at the bar.

I'll be leaving so I won't be able to join the crew.

I'm actually really glad that Gary stayed behind

because it means that me and Holly

get a chance to have a proper

catch up with him.

We just want to know, is this trip

a one off for him?

Or is he here for the long run?

Because we want to see more of Gary.

The dream would be to get all the

OJs back together again

and what I mean by OJs

I mean every single

one of us.

Girls, come on, let's go!

I've spent my life

waiting for these radios to get ready.

Oh, I hear the flip-flop.

Here they are!

Wow!

These look good.

Come on, it's time to say bye to Holly

and get down the pub.

Where are we going?

I've had the best time with you all.

Hope it all ends nicely.

Keep me updated

and have the best last few nights.

Alright, Holly, let's go.

Super cute.

This is a very new

thing, isn't it, Jack?

Coming to somewhere a bit more tropical

than finding a pub. Irish pub, I'm wrong.

I don't think the Northerners

understand the southern concept

of drinking in a pub.

No matter where you are in the world,

you can find a good pub.

Sit in a pub. I love the pub.

Is my drink down there?

Here he is.

Oh, good afternoon, Mr Beadle.

Hello.

How's life?

It's always funny when we're together.

It's been such a long time

since we've been able to catch up with Gary

and we've got so many questions.

I actually really, really missed him.

Not only as a friend, but being part

of the Geordie Shore world.

It's been nice that you've come back.

I wanted you back at the reunion.

I messaged you quite a few times.

You did? Was there a reason

you didn't want to come to the reunion?

I've never had anything

against anyone.

I don't want yous lot thinking

that I wasn't coming back

because I didn't like yous or I didn't want to see yous.

You know what, guys? Genuinely, we actually missed you.

We just wanted to see you.

We started this journey with you.

When I left, it was a good time to leave.

Obviously, I was 30.

I was having kids and stuff like that.

I was just doing normal stuff.

It was just me being me

and I hadn't had that

for so many years.

I'd done Geordie Shore for like, what,

10 years and having kids

changes your life. I've always wanted to be a dad

and I just wanted to

enjoy that.

And then

it was half the Charlotte thing.

Not that I've got anything against Charlotte,

but when you've got kids and you've got partners

and all everyone's on about is Charlotte,

comment on my post, comment on this, comment on that.

What kind of thing was it, your relationship?

It was like a fire.

It was so intense. It was so intense.

He talked about it. I eventually got away from it.

And I was like, if I go and do the reunion,

I don't want to go and light that fire again.

Yeah.

Look, I was getting to Charlotte when I was 20-odd years old.

I'm 37. It's like

me going, remember that

lad you were getting with in uni?

If he walked in there now, how old would you be?

Yeah. Over the years, I think

we've kind of built Gary up to be this person

who doesn't really want to be involved with

us anymore, but now that he is

explaining how he feels and how

he has felt and the reasons that he hasn't

come back is actually quite heartwarming.

If Charlotte

ever came back, would you

come back as well?

Well, yeah. I haven't got a problem with her.

If she walked in there now,

I'd be like, look at you.

And she'd be like, yeah, Gary.

That's how it should be, of course.

But it would be like that.

It would.

It is nice to hear how Gary feels

about Charlotte, and I

would love nothing more than for Charlotte and

Gary to be in the same room having a conversation.

But I get from their

points of views how it would

be blown up from the outside perspective.

I think Charlotte

will always be a big part of your life.

You had so many good memories together,

and she probably feels the same.

I never thought that Gary

would ever talk about Charlotte again.

I thought that page had been

completely closed.

So I think that must mean that there can be

one day where they could both be

in the same room and be amicable.

And I really hope that day can come.

It was just a big part of your life,

but we do grow up and we move on.

And that's just what happened. It wasn't

ever really meant to be.

I've got nothing

bad to say about Charlotte.

I'm so happy for her. But I think looking back

now, I kind of realised how

intense it was.

And that was quite a hard thing for us to deal with,

especially in the public eye.

But to me, it feels like

an absolute lifetime ago.

Also as well, I want to say

I'm very proud of you two.

Aww, don't make me cry.

To watch from afar and see

you had a rough time

with boyfriends. You then met Jacob.

Now I see you on social media with your kids

and you just look happy.

I'm so happy.

I'm not going to cry.

I know your fitness stuff.

I never thought in a million years you'd do that.

So I am very proud of you.

Thank you.

It's nice to come back and see you happy.

I know you're obviously going through all the kids stuff,

but it will happen.

It's nice to see both of you.

Gary, we were really close, you know.

We still are, even though I haven't seen you as much as maybe

years. Sitting here now,

it feels like eight years has just gone.

Holly and Sophie

to me are like

little sisters. We did

create friendships back then that's

really hard to break because I've

literally watched them

grow up from girls

to women. I'll always

have a special place with them.

The OJs, we're cheers.

Come on guys, you're always good

at these ones. Yes, the 15 years

of friendship.

And we're all

very proud of each other. We are.

To many, many more.

Cheers. You better hurry up, you've got

a flight to catch up.

Have you got karaoke's down the stairs

like old times? Oh yeah, Gary!

Remember I used to always be the one at the end who would close the door and go

God, I do miss them days.

I don't know how I would do that many nights, help me.

I don't. I do one now, I'm just

dead. Never mind 30.

I would do it all.

I would

do it all

all again.

I love coming

away with Holly and I'm just

going home because who knows

how long I've got to wait to be in the house

with her again. She is the

most gorgeous, beautifullest,

funniest girl ever.

And I'm so proud

to say she's my sister.

It's been so lovely to see you.

I feel like it's a lot easier leaving

now because I've

got someone to go home to.

I've got a family, I've got

everything I ever wanted.

When we were leaving back in the day,

we were leaving, going into the complete

unknown. But now,

I've got something to go home for.

Then it was just us guys

To the pool!

In the Geordie Shore house

10 years on.

All around the world

We bring the noise, we turn it up

All around the world

We celebrate

It's been a great holiday so far

but I don't think there's been enough daytime drinking fun.

I don't actually think these Northerners can

keep up. So it's time to introduce some

daytime drinking games in a pub.

Are we going to split the G? How do you do that?

You need to get the black and white line

in between the G's point. I'll go first.

What is better than getting drunk

in the sun with your best mates?

Nothing.

You can almost shot it there.

Under shot it.

No.

Jack.

If you're Irish, you do it.

Go on, Leo.

Irish.

It's bang on that.

Fuck me, my missus has only gone and done it

and she's never drank a pint in her life.

The pressure's on now.

Go on, James.

More?

Oh, James.

What can I say? But if it was a treble vodka

from Bijou, that would be a

different story.

The dynamic really does change.

Obviously we've got a lot of people coming in now, which is good.

The main thing is

Jordan's boyfriend's back!

Yes!

How's it going? You alright, mate? I've missed you.

Do you know he said that he wasn't

bringing more clothes out because he knew

Jordan had loads.

I'd borrow my clothes as well.

Him taking the piss out of your relationship, he's just jealous now.

I want you to wear my clothes.

I want you to wear this.

I'm going to have to go to the toilet, I'm sorry.

James doesn't quite seem himself.

I just don't think

Ricky's handled this situation with James and Leah

very well at all.

Leah, how do you think he's actually feeling?

James doesn't want

people to go, you know, worry about him.

But I know that he just

can't be bothered, we both can't.

And honestly, if this got dragged

out any longer, we won't

come back. But then my advice is, no matter

what Ricky comes and says, even if he comes back and

tries to stick it back on you, walk away.

Do you know what? No worries, mate.

I think you can be the one to drag him and be like, come on.

Do you know what I mean? Jordan's right.

I know I've got a role tonight on keeping the peace,

but so is Leah.

And if it's going to work, I need Leah on the side

and backing us.

I've got another issue going on in my head that I need to talk to you all about.

I'm really concerned about who's going to cook

the sausages.

You've got a diet going on.

I thought you were

going to ask for another pint.

What shall we call it? Cockney...

Cockney... Cockney Sausage Gobblers.

We're not really Cockney.

Barneyton Barbecues.

Barneyton Barbecues!

MUSIC

One person's come to see you.

No one cares.

Hold on, Sighs.

Honey, I'm home!

You look nice.

I'm so happy to see you.

MUSIC

Hello, everybody!

Right, now, these are faces that I totally recognise.

Now it's starting to feel like the Jodie Shaw that I actually know.

Where's everyone else?

So, everyone else has went to an Irish bar.

Abi's boyfriend's here.

Oh, Joe!

Oh, amazing!

What's he like having him here?

They're very much in their honeymoon period, like.

Oh, my God, it's too much of PDA, sensory overload.

Oh, great.

It's...

HE MAKES EXPLOSION SOUNDS

It's too much.

Ooh!

It's all you here.

THEY LAUGH

Right, I'm going to get me bikini on then, ready for the barbecue.

Get your bikinis on, we're coming down to Jill Mac.

MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC CONTINUES

Got a little stiffy off that ride home.

LAUGHTER

Hello!

You all right? You good?

How's it going?

You all right?

It's been like Newcastle Semble today.

People coming, people going, people leaving, people coming back.

But now that we're all together, we can get ready for tonight.

and have a good old Geordie Shore party.

Right, is everyone ready for this big family barbeque tonight?

Yeah!

Who's cooking? Do you want this?

Who's cooking?

I'm not cooking, I'm just ordering, I think.

Ah, the Essex boys?

No, the Cockney Sausage Gobblers are cooking.

LAUGHTER

The whole family's back together, so we have to make tonight work.

If we do, it's going to be a great party tonight.

But if this chat doesn't go well between James and Ricky,

it's going to cause a huge divide

that will affect the family for a long time.

Aaron! What?

What's going on? Barbeque!

Is the chicken nuggets?

Er, they can be.

Right, OK, I'm coming down.

See you soon, Dolls. Bye, Dolls, see you later.

MUSIC PLAYS

I've fucking got another spot on my head!

I'm looking forward to tonight.

It feels like Jack has been here for so much longer

than what he actually has,

because he's just fitted in perfectly with everyone.

So how bad are we talking about the snoring?

Oh, no! No!

I can't have that!

It's a bad one.

Even if he's making a bit too much noise in the bedroom...

Fuck me. Is that coming back on my toast?

Jack! Yeah?

Find me some burgers, we've got to go and cook.

Come on!

I am the barbeque king, and between me and Jack,

we're going to cook up an absolute fucking storm.

Only that one.

We just need to work out how to light it.

I've got to get this down, I'm sure I'll get the heat in it.

Yeah, but it's off at the minute. Don't touch it!

There's only one burner working.

Fuck me, how many cockneys does it take to light a barbeque?

There you go. Bye.

Oh, two's on, two's on, two's on, I told you!

Oh, three's on! Oh, four's on!

I'm just going to leave them to it.

I just hope that none of us get food poison.

The last thing I need tonight is to be shitting myself

why I've got all of this going on.

So you've got your own rooms while you're away, that's fucking mean.

No cameras in as well.

When you had that one in Greece and you found a camera

on the side of the corner of the room...

It's like Cubs and the girls doing it, or Nine Inch Nails,

and then Cubs by me is going...

LAUGHTER

Then Moses is going,

I've had his watch doused once!

LAUGHTER

Oh, yeah!

I'm so excited to have a nice family barbeque.

Hopefully this will bring us all together.

Oh, fucking hell!

Leave the fucking butt inside!

Barnet's and Burgers is fully open.

Yes! I am starving.

I hope James and Ricky can start their day.

Squash everything, sort it out,

and we're going to have a fucking good night.

Well done, boys.

Yeah, well done, lads.

Ooh!

LAUGHTER

That sausage reminds me of my ex.

That looks like his old dick.

This family barbeque is great

and it's so good to have everyone back together.

But there's a dark cloud looming over everyone

and I'm not talking about Jack and Jordan's burnt sausages.

I love you.

Hey, James. James, do you want to get the lads and go for the chat?

Aye, how are you?

James, do you want to go for a little chat?

Oh, all right, a'ight, yeah.

All right, then.

Right, it's happening.

Fingers fucking crossed.

How's it going?

Just down, yeah?

Just want to stand down, yeah?

Nice.

Good enough? Yeah?

Ricky has got to be the bigger man here.

This is what the whole family have been waiting for

and it's been a long time coming.