Original subtitles

Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show.

You're here.

Thank you. Thank you for watching.

Well, guys, this weekend, President Trump officially kicked off March

What are we... The big story is that over the weekend, Trump ordered a

strike against Iran.

And if you were surprised to see the U .S. attack Iran, don't worry, so was

Congress.

In the attack, the U .S. took out Iran's 86 -year -old supreme leader.

Everyone was like, 86?

What'd you do, throw him a surprise party?

Could've just popped a balloon.

And now nobody knows who's going to take over Iran. As of now, it seems like

it's down to Paramount or Netflix.

The operation against Iran is called Epic Fury, which I'm pretty sure is a

Mountain Dew flavor, which is actually... Epic Fury.

It sounds like a Jackie Chan movie released directly to streaming.

When did he make that?

Meanwhile, Trump watched the operation play out from Mar -a -Lago in a secure

area that was shielded with a curtain.

Nothing says secure area like a curtain. Yeah.

Trump was in a makeshift situation room at Mar -a -Lago and the photo is going

viral. This is real. Take a look.

There it is there, yeah.

I'm pretty sure it's the first war to ever be started next to an omelet

You know what I'm saying?

Don't worry, Mar -a -Lago uses cybernetic multi -tiered verification

where the password is password.

But Trump had all his top officials there for the strike, like the chairman

the Joint Chiefs, the director of the CIA, and the MyPillow guy.

Well, guys, the attack, the US attack on Iran is such a huge deal that Trump has

actually agreed to join us right now for an interview about it. Thank you for

joining us, Mr. President. This was a major decision. What was going through

your mind when you made it?

Bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bing.

And now that you've started this whole situation, do you have a plan for what

comes next?

Not even a little bit.

Okay, okay.

Well, so far you've hit nuclear facilities, missile defenses.

What do you want to destroy the most?

The Epstein files. Okay, I understand. Yeah, I understand. I agree.

Real quick, did you get

permission from Congress for the attack?

No, no, no, no, no. Okay, yeah.

And do you still think you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize?

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Now, going forward, who do you want to put in charge of Iran?

Nicki Minaj.

I saw you ordered the attack from Mar -a

-Lago. Where do you normally give your biggest orders?

Burger King, Wendy's, and McDonald's. No, that's not what I...

That's not one.

People are wondering if you'll send in troops.

What would you say if you ever had to go over there and fight for yourself?

Take me home, Mommy. This is too tough for me. Okay, all right. Now, last

question. What kind of message does this send to countries like Saudi Arabia and

Russia? Saudi Arabia and Russia will repeat you.

Thank you very much for your time.

We're switching gears. I saw that since Paramount is buying Warner Brothers, HBO

Max and Paramount Plus are going to become one streaming service.

Ooh. Yeah, it's great. They'll have all the hit HBO shows with the Paramount

Plus logo.

Some business news today. In an effort to boost iPhone sales, Apple announced a

cheaper version of the iPhone 17.

It's the exact same except all of your emails end with sent on a budget.

It's just like your regular iPhone, except you only get access to the sad

You can tell it's a cheap iPhone because on the back of it says Kirkland brand.

What does that mean? It comes in a pack of 12.

Get this Southwest airline so that they're refining their new seating

amid complaints over boarding and bin space.

Yep, they're going back to their old policy of every man, woman, and child

themselves.

Hey, I heard that a nudist camp in Florida is up for sale for $2 .5

Ooh. Yeah, a nudist camp in Florida. At first, people thought it was an

alligator sanctuary.

Demo from Chef Mario Carbone.

Stick around. We'll be right back with Nicole Kidman.