Original subtitles

♪ WORKIN' ON THE NIGHT MOVES ♪

♪ TRYIN' TO LOSE THEM AWKWARD TEENAGE BLUES ♪

♪ WORKIN' ON THE NIGHT MOVES ♪

♪ MMM-MMM ♪

♪ IT WAS SUMMERTIME ♪

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING.

♪♪♪

HOW'S IT GOING BACK THERE?

OKAY, DONNA, JUST FOR THAT,

I'M NOT TAKING YOUR BRA OFF.

WELL, YOU WEREN'T TAKING IT OFF ANYWAY.

HELLO, HOUSE OF CHICKEN?

HOW BIG ARE YOUR WINGS?

BREASTS.

OH.

HOW BIG ARE YOUR BREASTS?

THIS IS FEZ, WHO IS THIS?

OH, WHEW.

MY FIRST PRANK CALL.

EVERY NIGHT WITH YOU IS AN ADVENTURE.

YEAH, FEZ, IT'S A REAL ROLLER COASTER,

AIN'T IT?

HYDE, HOW COME YOU DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

MAYBE IF YOU DID SOMETHING WITH YOUR HAIR, LIKE...

HEY, YOU.

IS THERE A MOTEL IN THIS PUKE HOLE?

THERE'S A SLEEPY TIME LODGE THREE PUKE HOLES OVER.

THANKS. I'M CHRISSY.

I'M HYDE.

WHO CARES?

YOU WANT TO HOP ON MY VESPA AND, UH,

SHOW ME WHERE IT IS?

MOTHER OF GOD, I THINK I LOVE YOU.

LOVE IS AN OUTDATED CONCEPT

USED BY INDUSTRIALISTS TO KEEP WOMEN SUBSERVIENT.

♪ I AM AN ANTICHRIST ♪

♪ I AM AN ANARCHIST ♪

♪ DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT ♪

♪ BUT I KNOW HOW TO GET IT ♪

♪ I WANT TO DESTROY... ♪

MOTHER OF GOD, I DO LOVE YOU.

♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

HELLO, WISCONSIN!

[BEEPING] BLEEP! BLEEP!

DAMN.

DAMN!

DAMN!!

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAP...

YOU JUST BEAT ME 15-NOTHING.

SO WHAT?

I MEAN, HITTING A BALL WITH 2 PADDLES IS SO BORING.

I NEED A NEW CHALLENGE. SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

I NEED TO HIT THE BALL WITH...

WITH SMALLER PADDLES.

WHERE'S RED KEEP HIS TOOLS?

OH, NO, NOT RED'S PONG.

I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE GOING UP THERE...

THE GARAGE. OF COURSE.

OKAY, YOU KNOW, IF YOU SCREW THAT UP,

HE'S GONNA BLAME ME.

I KNOW.

♪♪♪

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I'D MEET A RADICAL NUMBER LIKE YOU

IN A SLAG-HEAP TOWN LIKE THIS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE JUST PASSIN' THROUGH, MAN.

YOU'RE DARK, YOU'RE OBNOXIOUS,

YOU'RE DANGEROUSLY PARANOID.

UNTIL TONIGHT, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW A GIRL LIKE YOU EXISTED.

HAS IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT WE'RE ON A BED.

OH, MAN, THIS IS SO PERFECT.

YOU'RE EASY TOO?

YEAH.

SEE, THE ESTABLISHMENT DOESN'T WANT US HAVING SEX

BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT MAKES US FEEL GOOD, RIGHT?

YEAH.

SO, IF WE CAN FEEL GOOD ON OUR OWN,

WHAT DO WE NEED THE ESTABLISHMENT FOR?

SO EVERY TIME WE HAVE SEX, IT'S A HUGE PROTEST.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK I FEEL A HUGE PROTEST COMING ON.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING

WITH MY HOME-EC PROJECT, MRS. FORMAN.

WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME, HONEY.

NOW, JACKIE, HAVE YOU EVER MADE A PIE BEFORE?

NO, I DON'T REALLY COOK MUCH.

I JUST PLAN ON GETTING BY ON MY LOOKS.

OKAY, THEN.

MICHAEL.

JACKIE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M BAKING A PIE.

I'M MAKING SMALL PADDLES.

FINE.

SO, DONNA, WHAT SAY YOU AND I TAKE A LITTLE DRIVE TONIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN UNLOCK THE CAR?

HMM, WHERE SHOULD THE THREE OF US GO

ON OUR DRIVE?

ACTUALLY, FEZ, JUST DONNA AND I ARE GONNA...

OH, I SEE.

SO YOU ARE GOING TO DITCH ME. JUST LIKE HYDE.

EVERY DAY...

I AM HERE WITH MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE.

HOPING ONLY FOR FRIENDSHIP... AND ACCEPTANCE.

AND WHAT DO I GET?

ABANDONMENT. LONELINESS.

WHEN IS IT FEZ'S TURN?

WHERE IS MY WHORE?

DAMN YOU, HYDE.

DID YOU GO HORSEBACK RIDING WITHOUT ME?

NO.

I JUST MET THE MOST AMAZING WOMAN...

CHRISSY.

AND SHE JUST DITCHED HER ENTIRE LIFE

TO START OVER IN NEW YORK, MAN.

WAIT. W-W-W-WAIT.

WHY IS SHE... WHY IS SHE GOING TO NEW YORK?

SHE'S GONNA START A PUNK BAND.

A PUNK BAND! HEH-HEH.

COOL. WHAT IS PUNK ANYWAYS?

PUNK IS THE NIHILISTIC OUTCRY AGAINST THE CORPORATE

ROCK 'N' ROLL TAKEOVER.

IT'S THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE REVOLUTION, MAN.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID BLUE OYSTER CULT

WAS THE SOUNDTRACK TO THE REVOLUTION.

YEAH.

LOOK, THE POINT IS IS THAT...

SHE ASKED ME TO GO WITH HER.

WHOA, WHOA, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO TO NEW YORK?

WELL, IT'S A BIG CITY, MAN.

THE BARS ARE OPEN 'TIL 4:00.

IT'S WHERE ALL THE MUSIC'S HAPPENING.

HEY, IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE...

YOU CAN'T MAKE IT THERE.

BUT IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE...

BUT YOU WON'T MAKE IT THERE!

WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN?

IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE...

DAMN IT, FORMAN, NOW I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!

KELSO, YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO TELL ME

WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

I CAN EXPLAIN.

NINE SECONDS.

EIGHT.

SEE...

OKAY, BUT THIS COUNTING IS...

THREE.

WHAT?! NO!

THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS 5 SECONDS.

IT IS NOW. THREE.

I JUST WANTED...

TWO.

SMALLER PADDLES!

TIME!

DON'T HURT ME!

SMALLER PADDLES? IS IT BROKEN?

OKAY, I'M TOO GOOD AT PONG.

IT'S A CURSE.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

IT'S BORING.

I HAVEN'T PLAYED THIS THING IN OVER A MONTH.

RIGHT, RIGHT, EXACTLY.

OKAY, NOW, STAY WITH ME HERE.

THAT'S WHY I TOOK IT APART.

SEE, SMALLER PADDLES EQUAL BIGGER FUN.

YOU MAY HAVE SOMETHING THERE.

WE'LL GIVE IT A TRY.

SEEING AS YOU ALREADY OPENED IT.

GREAT.

AND HEY, IF WE CAN'T PUT IT BACK TOGETHER,

YOU OWE ME 118 BUCKS!

I DON'T HAVE 118 BUCKS.

WELL, THEN, I'LL HAVE TO KILL YA.

HEH-HEH-HEH HEH-HEH-HEH!

HEH-HEH-HEH.

[COUGHING]

OKAY, OKAY.

JACKIE, ALL RIGHT, HONEY,

LET'S... LET'S JUST REVIEW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WENT WRONG WITH THIS PIE?

TOO MANY EGGS?

NO.

THE PAN WAS TOO SMALL?

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

IS IT BECAUSE MICHAEL DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE?

ALMOST. HEH.

IT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING ON THE PHONE ABOUT MICHAEL

INSTEAD OF WATCHING THE PIE LIKE YOU PROMISED ME

YOU WOULD THIS TIME.

AGAIN!

YOU LIAR. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA.

I DON'T KNOW, HYDE.

I MEAN, HERE YOU'RE THE COOL GUY,

BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY COOL GUYS LIVE IN NEW YORK?

THERE'S LIKE... LOU REED, MAN.

DO YOU WANT TO MESS WITH THAT?

WHY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE POINT PLACE?

IT IS FUN.

YEAH, IT IS FUN, MAN.

AND I'M GONNA MISS THE HELL OUT OF YOU GUYS,

BUT CHRISSY'S COOL.

AND IT'S THE BIG APPLE, MAN!

HEY, DO YOU THINK LOU REED'S IN THE PHONE BOOK?

BECAUSE I BET HE'D REALLY LIKE ME.

LOU REED.

WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?

WHO'S CHRISSY?

IT'S NOT SO BAD HERE, MAN.

WE GOT THE TV AND... PEANUT BUTTER,

AND I GOT THIS THING.

WELL, THE BALL PART ROLLED UNDER THE DRYER.

HYDE, YOU CANNOT LEAVE.

YOU GAVE ME MY FIRST BEER, REMEMBER?

AND THEN I THREW UP ON THAT COP.

THAT WAS A GOOD TIME, MAN.

WAIT A MINUTE.

BACK UP!

NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING.

WHAT'S THE BALL DOIN' UNDER THE DRYER?

SO, HYDE'S LIKE... HYDE'S LIKE REALLY LEAVING.

YEAH.

IT'S LIKE... TIME'S JUST PASSING US BY.

YOU KNOW?

YOU'VE GOT TO LIKE... SEIZE THE DAY.

YOU ARE SO RIGHT. YEAH.

[LAUGHS]

OKAY, WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

NOTHING. NOTHING.

NO, TELL ME.

I KNOW YOU'RE GOING FOR THE BRA.

HOW... HOW DID YOU KNOW?

IT'S JUST EVERY TIME YOU GO FOR MY BRA,

YOUR LIPS STOP MOVING.

SO, UM, YOU'RE REALLY NOT HAVING ANY... ANY FUN?

NO, I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME.

I WOULD JUST LIKE A LITTLE ATTENTION

WHILE YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH MY UNDERWEAR.

I'M HERE TOO.

IT DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABOUT THE TWINS.

THE TWINS? HA-HA.

IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL THEM? THAT IS SO VERY HOT.

OKAY.

[GROANS]

TAKE ME HOME.

YEAH.

JACKIE, JUST TAKE THE MONEY AND BUY A PIE.

MRS. FORMAN, IF I BUY A PIE, THAT'S CHEATING, AND I'LL FAIL.

TRUST ME, IF YOU BAKE IT, YOU'LL FAIL TOO.

WHAT'S THIS ABOUT HYDE MOVING TO NEW YORK?

NO, NO, HE'S ONLY 17.

HIS MOTHER WOULD NEVER LET HIM DO THAT.

ACTUALLY, MICHAEL TOLD ME THAT HYDE'S MOM DRINKS A LOT,

SO SHE PROBABLY WON'T EVEN CARE.

YOU KNOW, DRUNK PEOPLE ARE LIKE THAT.

OKAY... LET'S MAKE ANOTHER PIE.

I WILL MAKE THE FILLING,

AND I WILL MAKE THE CRUST.

BUT WHAT WILL I MAKE?

YOU WILL GO INTO THE LIVING ROOM

AND MAKE ME A DRINK.

HE CAN'T JUST DROP OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL,

AND NEW YORK CITY IS NO PLACE FOR A 17-YEAR-OLD KID.

IT'S SODOM AND GOMORRAH... WITH A SUBWAY.

WE'LL HAVE TO HAVE A TALK WITH HIM.

HIS MOM SURE AS HELL WON'T DO IT...

AND SOMEBODY'S GOT TO BEAT SOME SENSE INTO THAT IDIOT.

OH, RED, YOU DO CARE.

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK AND ROLL?

WE DON'T THINK THAT YOU SHOULD GO.

NEW YORK IS A DANGEROUS PLACE.

A YOUNG MAN TODAY NEEDS A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA.

IN NEW YORK, YOU GET MUGGED FOR NO GOOD REASON.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE JOB MARKET IS LIKE?

THE PEOPLE ARE RUDE... AND YOU HAVE FEELINGS.

WITHOUT THAT SHEEPSKIN, YOU ARE NOTHING...

AND NOT THE KIND OF NOTHING THAT YOU ARE NOW.

AN EVEN LOWER, MORE PATHETIC NOTHING.

THEY SPIT. THAT'S RIGHT, THEY SPIT.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO PUT ON YOUR RESUME?

DUMB ASS?

I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING, AND I'M GOING!

WELL, THAT DIDN'T GO THAT GREAT.

WAY TO GO, KITTY.

HEY, HEY, HEY, DON'T TOUCH.

I'M ABOUT TO TAKE OFF THE DOOHICKEY.

OKAY.

RED!

DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD DISCONNECT THE TRANSISTOR

FROM THE SECONDARY CIRCUIT BOARD FIRST?

WELL, SURE.

AND THEN WE'LL, UH, WORK ON THE, UH...

DOOHICKEY.

BITCHIN'.

(STEVE) IT IS TOO MY SUITCASE!

(EDNA) NOTHING IN THIS HOUSE IS YOURS!

SHUT UP!

[MUTTERS] BITCH!

SO YOUR MOM'S TAKING IT PRETTY HARD, HUH?

OH, I HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET.

SO, HYDE, YOU'RE, LIKE, REALLY GOING THROUGH WITH THIS.

YEAH, MAN.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I KNOW PEOPLE SPIT ON YOU THERE,

AND THE RAT'S ARE AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD OR WHATEVER.

BUT THIS MIGHT BE

MY ONLY CHANCE TO ESCAPE, FORMAN.

HEY, YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW.

HYDE, WE'RE FINALLY GETTING OLD ENOUGH

TO DO SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE TO THIS TOWN.

REMEMBER, WE WERE GOING TO PAINT THAT POT LEAF

ON THE WATER TOWER?

VANDALISM, WHILE TEMPTING, IS NOT ENOUGH REASON

FOR ME TO STAY.

PLUS, YOU CAN DO THAT WITHOUT ME.

BUT WE WON'T DO THAT WITHOUT YOU.

HYDE, YOU'RE THE REASON WE DO SO MANY STUPID,

SENSELESS THINGS.

YEAH, THAT IS TRUE.

HYDE, I'VE NEVER TOLD THIS TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING,

BUT I... I... CANNOT GET DONNA'S BRA OFF.

HOOKS OR SNAPS?

BOTH, SHE KEEPS THROWING ME CHANGE-UPS.

ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO, OKAY?

YOU BUY A BRA, THEN YOU PRACTICE ON IT AT HOME.

THEN YOU GIVE IT TO DONNA AS A GIFT.

SEE?! THAT'S BRILLIANT!

YOU'RE LIKE AN EVIL GENIUS, MAN.

♪ ALLISON ♪

♪ I KNOW THIS WORLD IS KILLING YOU ♪

♪ OH, OH, ALLISON... ♪

WHERE'S YOUR BAG?

YOU'RE NOT GOING.

NO.

BUT I'D LIKE TO MOUNT ANOTHER PROTEST IF YOU HAVE THE TIME.

HERE'S MY, UH...

MY FRIEND'S NUMBER IN NEW YORK.

DON'T CALL ME!

YEAH, I WON'T.

HEY, CHRISSY, DO YOU MIND IF I STEAL THE TOWELS?

SORRY. I ALREADY GOT 'EM.

♪ ALLISON ♪

♪ I KNOW THIS WORLD IS KILLING YOU ♪

♪ OH, ALLISON... ♪

WELL, KELSO, GOOD LUCK.

YEAH, SHE'S BEEN A GREAT RIDE, MAN.

IT WORKS!

SMALLER PADDLES!

(TOGETHER) YEAH!

CONGRATULATIONS, SON. YOU HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE.

YEAH, YEAH, YOU'RE SO RIGHT, RED.

HOME COMPUTERS, THAT IS THE FUTURE!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NOT COMPUTERS...

SOLDERING!

THE FUTURE IS SOLDERING.

[SCOFFS] COMPUTERS.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? WE'RE PARKED AGAIN.

RIGHT, BUT THIS TIME I JUST WANT TO TALK.

DONNA, I AM REALLY SORRY IF I DID ANYTHING

TO MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.

OH, THANKS.

I GUESS PART OF THAT'S MY FAULT.

BUT I THINK I KNOW SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

OKAY.

[CLEARS THROAT]

WELL, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN HAVING A ROUGH TIME LATELY.

BECAUSE NOW THAT WE'RE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND

AND NOW THAT YOU KNOW I'M ON THE PILL,

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE ALWAYS PAWING AT ME.

AND I WANT TO FOOL AROUND, BUT THEN I THINK

IF YOU GET TO SECOND BASE, FROM THERE YOU'LL HAVE

A PRETTY GOOD VIEW OF HOME.

AND IF THAT HAPPENS, WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN

TO YOU AND ME?

BECAUSE LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO JACKIE AND KELSO,

AND SEX CHANGES EVERYTHING,

AND THAT REALLY, REALLY SUCKS.

[SIGHS]

OKAY.

UM, SO WHAT PART OF THAT WAS SUPPOSED

TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?

OH...

UM...

I'M NOT WEARING A BRA.

YOU ARE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND EVER.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

YOU SURPRISED TO SEE ME?

NAH, I KNEW YOU'D STAY.

YEAH, WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS WAY TOO LONG.

NO, CHRISSY JUST DROVE BY WITH SOME GUY

ON THE BACK OF HER BIKE.

POOR KID.

SHE'S GRIEVING.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE