Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

THE GAME IS ANACONDA.

BIG ACE, 8 BALL, RED LADY, JACKSON, FIVER, WILD MAN.

OH, MY GOD. MICHAEL, THEY OPENED UP A DISCO.

WHERE AT?

IN KENOSHA.

YOU COULD WEAR YOUR DAVID BOWIE BUTT-HUGGERS.

MICHAEL, THAT WOULD BE SUPER.

LAUGH IF YOU WANT, MAN,

BUT MY BUTT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD IN THOSE.

COME ON, ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY?

I MEAN, A DISCO? NO WAY.

I DON'T KNOW, IT MIGHT BE KIND OF FUN TO GO DANCING.

OR WE COULD GO.

I GOT NOTHING. I FOLD.

WELL, MAN, IF YOU'RE OUT, GO MAKE SOME POPCORN.

TAKE HER WITH YOU.

WHAT IS DISCO?

DISCO IS FROM HELL, OK,

AND NOT THE COOL PART OF HELL, WITH ALL THE MURDERERS,

BUT THE LAME-ASS PART WHERE THE REALLY BAD ACCOUNTANTS LIVE.

EXCUSE ME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

LOOKING AT KELSO'S CARDS.

THAT'S CHEATING.

Jackie: ERIC, I CAN'T FIND THE POPCORN.

HEY, UM,

DONNA, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LITTLE LOOK AT MY CARDS?

THEN YOU WON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME TO LEAVE.

NO, COME ON. TAKE A LOOK.

TAKE A LOOK. TELL ME WHAT I HAVE, YOU CHEATER.

YOU GOT NOTHING.

YEAH, AND I'M GOING TO BLUFF, SO WATCH OUT.

DONNA HAS STUFF FOR ERIC, YES?

NOT STUFF, THING.

DONNA HAS A THING FOR ERIC.

HA HA. WHY DO YOU HAVE A THING FOR ERIC?

HE MAKES ME LAUGH, HE DOESN'T ASK ME STUPID QUESTIONS,

HE'S SMART, AND, YOU KNOW...

NO, I DON'T KNOW.

I KNOW.

IT IS BECAUSE ERIC IS NOBLE,

AND A WOMAN WANTS HER FIRST LOVEMAKING

TO BE IN THE ARMS OF A MAN SHE CAN TRUST.

FEZ? YES.

GO MAKE POPCORN.

♪ HANGIN' OUT ♪

♪ DOWN THE STREET ♪

♪ THE SAME OLD THING ♪

♪ WE DID LAST WEEK ♪

♪ NOT A THING TO DO ♪

♪ BUT TALK TO YOU ♪

♪ WHOA, YEAH ♪♪

HELLO, WISCONSIN!

DAD, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY CURFEW ON SATURDAY.

WE'RE GOING TO A DISCO IN KENOSHA.

OH, DANCING IN KENOSHA.

THAT'S QUITE A DRIVE. HA HA HA.

CAN I PUSH MY CURFEW TO 2?

MM.

OR 1:30?

MM.

OR 1?

DONE! HA HA HA.

SO, WHO'S GOING?

OH, DONNA, I'M SURE.

THEY'RE PRACTICALLY DATING.

CAN I HAVE SOME GAS MONEY?

DATING? SINCE WHEN?

MOM, WE'RE NOT DATING.

WHY NOT? SHE LIKES YOU.

THANKS, MOM. ABOUT THAT GAS MONEY...

WELL, NOW, SHE IS INTERESTED.

I CAN TELL.

AND DANCING IS THE QUICKEST WAY TO A GAL'S HEART.

REMEMBER, RED, WHEN WE USED TO GO DANCING

AT THE AVALON ON MACKINAW ISLAND?

OH, MACKINAW. NOW, THAT'S QUITE A DRIVE.

I'LL BET THE MILEAGE IS...

♪ VOLARE ♪

♪ OH, OH... ♪

YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?

YOU GOT YOUR MOTHER STARTED.

MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU AND JACKIE

ARE DRAGGING EVERYBODY TO THAT DISCO.

IT'S SO SAD.

NO, I'M JUST GOING TO MEET KENOSHA CHICKS.

I'M BREAKING UP WITH JACKIE.

OH, GET A TALL CHICK,

BECAUSE YOU AND JACKIE LOOK SO SILLY TOGETHER.

OK, THAT'S ALL THE DEPOSIT BOTTLES AND THE ALUMINUM CANS.

WE'VE GOT HAVE AT LEAST $1.15 WORTH OF GAS.

COME ON. MY DAD'S GOT A TON OF EMPTIES.

[SIGHS]

MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY'RE GOING TO WASTE ALL THEIR MONEY

ON A STUPID DISCO WHEN THEY COULD BUY A REALLY BIG BAG...

OF CARAMELS.

NOT GOING TO THAT DISCO, HUH?

NO.

PHONY PEOPLE LISTENING TO CRAPPY MUSIC

DOES NOT SOUND LIKE MY KIND OF TIME.

YOU CAN'T DANCE, CAN YOU?

I CAN DANCE.

OH, I DON'T THINK SO, PAL.

I CAN DANCE.

NOT ONE STEP.

YOU'RE RIGHT. NOT ONE STEP.

WELL, THEN YOU GOT A PROBLEM, SON,

'CAUSE WOMEN WANT TO DANCE.

THEY ALWAYS WANT TO DANCE.

ALWAYS.

WHY?

BECAUSE THEY CAN GET CLOSE

AND WIGGLE THEIR BODIES AROUND IN FRONT OF A MAN

IN A SAFE ATMOSPHERE.

SEE, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO WIGGLE AROUND IN PUBLIC.

WELL, OF COURSE NOT. YOU'RE A MAN.

MY POINT IS YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN.

OTHERWISE, LATER ON IN LIFE,

YOU'RE GOING TO BE WIGGLING ALL BY YOURSELF.

NOW, IF YOU WANT, I CAN HELP YOU OUT.

OK, NOW. THAT WAS GOOD.

OK, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN.

OK? NOW,

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, TURN AND STEP.

AHH.

I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH MUSIC, MRS. FORMAN.

NOW, LET'S NOT GET DISCOURAGED.

ALL RIGHT, I'M JUST GONNA TURN THIS MUSIC OFF.

HA HA. NOW,

YOU FOLLOW ME. OK. YOU CAN DO THIS.

OK. LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT...

TURN, AND STEP.

AH-HA HA. OOH. OK.

NO. NO. YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME, NOT AT YOUR FEET.

HA HA HA HA.

OK, YOU KNOW WHAT NOW, NOW PUT YOUR ARM AROUND ME.

YEAH. A LITTLE BIT LOWER.

PUT YOUR HAND IN THE SMALL OF MY BACK.

YOU FEEL HOW YOU CAN GUIDE ME?

OH, YEAH.

OK. OK.

LEFT, R...

YOU'RE LEADING.

OH. HA HA HA.

OK, NOW, TELL ME WHERE TO MOVE WITH YOUR HANDS.

UH-HUH.

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT,

TURN...

UH-HUH, OK, EYE CONTACT IN THE TURN. OK. OK.

AND... DIP.

OK.

WELL, NOW, LET'S JUST DO IT AGAIN.

HELLO. ANYBODY HOME?

I'M BRINGING BACK YOUR THERMOS.

OOH, PUT YOUR HAND THERE.

OH, THAT IS PERFECT!

YOU ARE BETTER THAN RED. HA HA.

OH, I AM EXHAUSTED.

THAT IS SWEATY WORK.

MRS. FORMAN, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT

IF MAYBE WE DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY WHAT WE WERE DOING HERE.

OH, MUM IS THE WORD.

MMM-MMM. HA HA.

TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL, OK?

THANKS.

AND STEVEN...

YOU WERE GOOD.

♪ CABALLO DE LA SABANA ♪

♪ ¿PORQUé ESTá VIEJO Y CANSADO? ♪

♪ PERO NO SE DAN DE CUENTA ♪

♪ QUE UN CORAZON AMARADO ♪♪

OK, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,

AND I'M GOING TO THE DISCO.

JUST ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THEY MIGHT

MIX UP A LITTLE ROCK 'N' ROLL, MAN.

YEAH.

WELL, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

I WENT TO THE MALL TODAY,

AND I BOUGHT A PAIR OF NEW SHOES...

AND THEY'RE THE COOLEST KICKS IN THE CAVE.

SO, NO MORE FOR KELSO. HE'S TOASTED.

I WOULD LIKE SOME TOAST IF YOU ARE MAKING SOME,

OR FOOD OF ANY KIND WOULD BE GOOD.

I AM STARVING.

OH, I READ SOMEWHERE THERE ARE THESE PEOPLE IN INDIA

WHO FAST, MAN.

YEAH.

AND THEIR MINDS ARE SO ADVANCED,

THEY CAN ACTUALLY THINK THEMSELVES TO DEATH, MAN.

I HOPE I'M NOT DOING THAT RIGHT NOW...

'CAUSE MY MIND'S ALWAYS DOING THINGS

THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT.

MAN, WE ALWAYS THINK OF SO MANY BRILLIANT THINGS DOWN HERE,

BUT THEN LATER I CAN'T REMEMBER ANY OF THEM,

AND, I MEAN, THEY'RE BRILLIANT, MAN.

SOMEONE GO MAKE TOAST RIGHT NOW.

HEY, WE SHOULD RECORD OUR CONVERSATION, MAN.

YEAH, THEN WE COULD PLAY IT BACK AND WRITE IT DOWN.

I'LL BET THAT'S HOW THE WRITERS AT NATIONAL LAMPOON DO IT.

YEAH, WELL, I READ SOMEWHERE

THAT THERE'S THESE PEOPLE IN FRANCE.

WHAT DO THEY DO?

YOU SEE, THEY'RE INCREDIBLY...

FRENCH.

SEE, THAT'S BRILLIANT, MAN.

I'M GETTING A TAPE RECORDER.

WHERE'S MY TOAST, YOU IDIOTS?

ERIC.

YEAH, DAD?

LISTEN, I KNOW YOU NEED GAS MONEY FOR SATURDAY NIGHT,

SO IF YOU'RE WILLING TO DO A FEW EXTRA CHORES,

I'LL, UH, PAY YOU $10.

SURE, I CAN DO THAT.

NOW, I NEED YOU TO SWEEP THE GARAGE,

CLEAN THE LEAVES OUT OF THE GUTTERS,

PICK UP THE DRY CLEANING,

AND, UH, FIX THAT SHELF IN THE PANTRY.

NOW RUN THAT BACK TO ME.

OK.

FIX THE SHELF, SWEEP THE GARAGE, PICK UP THE LEAVES...

DRY CLEANING.

YEAH.

THE GUTTERS...

FIX THE GUTTERS.

CLEAN... CLEAN THE GUTTERS.

CLEAN OUT THE GUTTERS, FIX THE SHELF, SWEEP THE LEAVES.

THE GARAGE.

FIX THE GARAGE.

SWEEP IT.

SWEEP.

LISTEN, I'M NOT GONNA PAY YOU $10 FOR NOTHING.

SWEEP THE GARAGE, PICK UP THE CLEANING,

CLEAN UP THE GUTTERS, FIX THE SHELF.

DO THAT, AND YOU GOT YOURSELF GAS MONEY.

DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT LEAVES?

THEY'RE IN THE GUTTERS.

RIGHT. PICK THEM UP.

CLEAN THEM UP. I...

GOT TO MAKE TOAST.

[BIG BAND SWING MUSIC PLAYS]

[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYS]

[DISCO PLAYS]

[CONGA PLAYS]

OH, JEEZ, MIDGE.

KITTY AND THAT BOY ARE AT IT AGAIN.

YOU SMELL GREAT. WHAT DID YOU DO?

I TOOK A BATH.

I WAS... THINKING OF YOU THE WHOLE TIME.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, I DO THE SAME THING IN THE SHOWER.

WHAT? NOTHING.

LET'S TAKE SOME PICTURES. I'M READY.

STEVEN, GET IN CLOSER.

OK, LET'S ALL SHMUSH TOGETHER.

OK, BIG SMILES.

NICE. OK. NOW THE GIRLS.

LOOK HOW PRETTY. SMILE.

NICE. NOW THE BOYS.

OH, SO HANDSOME.

OK, NOW, 1, 2...

HEY, MOM, WHY DON'T I TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

OK. YOU'LL BE LATE. BYE, NOW.

YOU'RE THE BEST.

OH, YOU GO GET 'EM, TIGER.

KITTY, I NEED YOUR ADVICE.

WELL, SURE. WHAT IS IT?

I HAVE THIS MARRIED FRIEND,

AND SHE'S ABOUT TO THROW EVERYTHING AWAY

BECAUSE SHE'S ATTRACTED TO A MUCH YOUNGER MAN.

IT'S STELLA.

NO.

OH, I KNEW THAT STELLA WAS OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

IT'S NOT STELLA.

WELL, DO I KNOW HER?

YES. VERY WELL.

OH, MIDGE.

DOES BOB KNOW?

YEAH, AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

KITTY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

MIDGE, LISTEN.

I THINK YOUR FRIEND SHOULD THINK ABOUT

ALL THE PEOPLE SHE'S GONNA HURT

AND TELL THIS YOUNGER MAN...

WHOEVER HE IS, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW...

THAT IT HAS TO STOP.

THANK YOU.

I JUST HOPE MY FRIEND TAKES YOUR ADVICE.

I'M SURE YOUR FRIEND WILL.

HA HA HA.

Both, thinking: HMM... YOUNGER MAN.

WONDER WHAT THAT'S LIKE.

[BEE GEES' YOU SHOULD BE DANCIN' PLAYS]

JACKIE, WHERE'D YOU GO?

I HAD TO GET SOMETHING FOR YOU TO BITE ON,

'CAUSE I TOLD EVERYONE YOU WERE HAVING A SEIZURE.

WHEN DO THEY PLAY THE DISCO MUSIC?

THIS IS DISCO MUSIC.

NO, NO. THIS IS SAMBA.

FEZ, IT'S DISCO, MAN. IT'S CRAP.

OH, I THINK I LIKE THIS CRAP.

COME, JACKIE. LET'S GET DOWN.

NO, I THINK I'M A LITTLE TIRED.

DON'T RESIST ME, MAMA.

IT'S BOOGIE TIME.

I THINK YOU JUST LOST YOUR DATE.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S COOL,

'CAUSE JACKIE AND I ARE HISTORY!

♪ DANCIN', YEAH ♪

SHE MUST NOT WEIGH THAT MUCH.

♪ DANCIN', YEAH ♪

IS SHE TOUCHING HIS ASS?

♪ THEY WERE SHINING THERE FOR YOU AND ME ♪

LISTEN, MERENGUE.

WHOO! FEZ, YOU'RE CRAZY.

WOW, THEY ARE REALLY GOOD.

YEAH, IF YOU WANT TO DANCE THAT WAY.

I WOULD LOVE TO DANCE THAT WAY.

YOU WANT TO DANCE?

SURE.

♪ IF I HAD TO DO THE SAME AGAIN ♪

♪ I WOULD, MY FRIEND ♪

♪ FERNANDO ♪

♪ THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE AIR THAT NIGHT ♪

♪ THE STARS WERE BRIGHT ♪

♪ FERNANDO ♪

YOU DANCE?

THIS IS A SIDE OF YOU I'VE NEVER SEEN.

YEAH.

ACTUALLY, YOU'RE MY FIRST DANCE.

I'M YOUR FIRST?

I'M HONORED.

THIS IS NICE.

MM-HMM.

DONNA, MAN, I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO KISS YOU.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KISS ME BACK IF YOU DON'T WANT.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

SHUT UP AND DANCE.

♪ THERE'S NO REGRET ♪

♪ IF I HAD TO DO THE SAME AGAIN ♪

♪ I WOULD MY FRIEND ♪

♪ FERNANDO ♪

FEZ, YOU ARE AN AMAZING DANCER.

ACTUALLY, JACKIE,

YOU ARE THE REASON

I AM AMAZING.

YOU SEE, WHEN A MAN DANCES,

HE SHOULD DISPLAY THE WOMAN TO THE ROOM

LIKE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER.

OH, FEZ!

MICHAEL!

ALL RIGHT, PAL, THAT'S IT!

IT'S YOU AND ME. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!

WHY DID YOU INTERRUPT US?

JACKIE IS MY GIRL, FEZ.

BUT YOU WERE BREAKING UP WITH HER.

WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET THAT STUFF?

OK, I'LL BE RUNNING AWAY NOW.

MICHAEL. MICHAEL.

MICHAEL, IT IS NOT HIS FAULT.

YOU JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE WITH ME.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE WITH YOU,

SO YOU JUST TAKE OFF WITH SOME OTHER GUY?

I KNOW, MICHAEL. I'M SORRY. I WAS WRONG,

BUT ALL I WANTED TO BE WAS DISPLAYED LIKE A... FLOWER.

YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY FLOWER.

THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

PUT ME DOWN.

OK, I'M PASSING OUT NOW.

UH... HEH...

OK, BOB. WHAT IS IT?

OH, JUST, UH, CURIOUS.

WHAT'S THE WORD ON THAT HYDE KID?

STEVEN?

AH, HE'S A LITTLE REBELLIOUS.

JUST NEEDS SOME DIRECTION.

APPARENTLY HE'S GETTING IT, RED.

I, UH, I KIND OF WALKED INTO YOUR LIVING ROOM,

AND HE AND KITTY WERE IN...

SOME SORT OF PROVOCATIVE EMBRACE.

I THINK HE'S PUTTING THE MOVES ON YOUR WIFE.

OH, MY GOD.

NOW I'VE GOT TO KILL HIM.

GET YOUR DEER RIFLE, BOB.

HOLD ON, RED. I... I... I COULD'VE BEEN MISTAKEN.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAW. GET THE DAMN GUN!

MAYBE SHE WAS CHOKING, YOU KNOW,

ON SOME FOOD OR SOMETHING.

I CAN'T TAKE THAT CHANCE.

WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE AS A MAN?

COME ON, RED. THEY COULD'VE BEEN DANCING.

GEEZ, I'M SURE SHE WAS TEACHING HIM DANCIN',

'CAUSE THEY'RE ALL GOING TO THAT DISCO.

HA HA. OHH.

DANCING, HUH?

YEAH.

GEEZ, BOB,

THAT WOULD BE DOWNRIGHT...

LOGICAL.

GOOD THING I DIDN'T SHOOT HIM.

HYDE, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT DISCO MUSIC.

IT IS EVIL.

ITS PULSING RHYTHM MADE ME DO A BAD THING.

YEAH WELL, ME TOO.

KELSO IS MY FRIEND. I CANNOT TAKE HIS WOMAN.

YOU'RE A GOOD GUY, FEZ.

ACTUALLY, I COULD TAKE HIS WOMAN, BUT I WON'T.

COME ON, I'LL WALK YOU HOME.

SEE YA, GUYS.

SEE YA.

GOOD NIGHT.

HEY, UH, HYDE DANCING. WHAT A SURPRISE.

YEAH. WHO KNEW?

YEAH. YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE HAVING A PRETTY GOOD TIME.

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, DISCO FEVER.

YOU CATCH IT, BUT I'M BETTER NOW.

WOW, WHAT A... WHAT A WEIRD NIGHT.

HEY, DID YOU SEE KELSO'S SHOES?

YEAH. REMEMBER WHEN HE SAW THAT GIRL WEARING THE SAME SHOES?

THAT WAS FUNNY.

THAT WAS... ACTUALLY, THAT WAS PRETTY SAD.

YEAH. SAD.

HEY, UM, DO YOU RECALL THAT NIGHT WE CROSSED THE RIO GRANDE?

WHAT?

I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HOW PROUD YOU WERE TO FIGHT FOR

♪ FREEDOM IN THIS LAND ♪

SHUT UP. DON'T.

♪ THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE AIR THAT NIGHT ♪

DON'T. SHH.

♪ THE STARS WERE BRIGHT ♪

♪ FERNANDO ♪

AHEM.

I'M SORRY. I HATE DANCE MUSIC.

WHY'D YOU GO?

I LIKE YOU.

SO, YOU'RE IN LIKE WITH ME?

DONNA, I'M IN...

I CAN'T DANCE.

YOU'LL LEARN.

♪ THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE AIR THAT NIGHT ♪

DONNA, I REALLY WANT TO KISS YOU AGAIN.

♪ FERNANDO ♪ SHUT UP AND DANCE.

♪ THEY WERE SHINING THERE FOR YOU AND ME ♪

Both: ♪ AND LIBERTY ♪

♪ FERNANDO ♪

♪ THOUGH I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WE COULD LOSE ♪

♪ THERE'S NO REGRET ♪

♪ IF I HAD TO DO THE SAME AGAIN ♪

♪ I WOULD MY FRIEND ♪

♪ FERNANDO ♪

♪ IF I HAD TO DO THE SAME AGAIN ♪

♪ I WOULD MY FRIEND ♪♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY CARSEY-WERNER AND FOX BROADCASTING

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE, INC.

Steven's voice recorded: I'M SAYING THE EARTH IS A FARM.

Eric: THAT'S BRILLIANT.

Steven: A FARM PUT HERE BY ALIENS, MAN, AND WE'RE THE CATTLE.

Kelso: WE'RE CATTLE, HUH?

Steven: AND THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS IT. IT'S OUT THERE, MAN.

Eric: WHAT IS?

Steven: THE TRUTH.

Eric: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

Steven: OUT THERE IS THE TRUTH.

Kelso: THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE, MAN.

Eric: THAT'S SERIOUSLY BRILLIANT.

SEE? YOU ARE ALL STUPID.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE