Original subtitles

.

- Next, please.

- [speaking Russian]

- Hello, I am Leo.

- Val.

- [speaking Russian]

- This is nice hospital.

- It's not. What's your emergency?

- [speaking Russian]

- Please talk to phone.

- What is your emergency?

- [speaking Russian]

- Oh.

[speaking Russian]

- Thank you for asking, Val.

I have knife in back.

- [gasps] I got a level 1, stab wound!

I need a gurney and an IV!

You're gonna be okay, sir. Go with them.

- [speaking Russian]

- Yep, OK.

- Thank you for the assistance with the knife, Val.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Yeah, just, like, every couple months

the knee gets kind of wonky. - Uh-huh.

Let me guess, right around the time she asked you

to clean the garage, huh? - [imitates buzzer]

- Ha! - Exactly.

- You nailed us.

Tim's knee's been acting up.

- Old sports injury.

I played football in high school.

Tore my ACL doing the moonwalk at a pep rally.

- They don't need to know how it happened, baby.

Bruce is doing us a big favor, fitting Tim in,

so we're just gonna, you know, be on our best behavior,

laugh at his jokes, and let him brag, just be really polite.

- Doesn't seem too hard.

- Well, you don't know Bruce.

- Medical scholarships are a lot rarer than college ones,

but hey, I guess they wanted me.

- [chuckles awkwardly] - Impressive.

- Mm-hmm.

- So you're, like, an arborist or something, right?

- Oh, God, no.

Those people are so pretentious.

- Please don't with the arborists.

- Really? - Yeah, massive egos.

They think they know everything.

- Ugh. I hate people like that.

- No, I grow grass.

- Oh, yeah? Does it need help?

I see it everywhere. [laughter]

Oh, I'm sure there's an art to it.

- All right, I'm gonna leave you guys to it.

Bruce, thank you so much. - Of course.

- I'll see you at lunch, okay? - Mm-hmm.

- Don't worry, Al.

When we're done with this knee, it'll be shmoney.

- Um, okay.

- Yeah. - Is shmoney like money?

- Exactly. Yeah.

Tim, exactly.

[chuckling]

- The doctor will check your ankle,

but your heart rate's up.

Are you all right, man?

- I'm feeling so much right now.

- Uh-huh.

Did you take anything today?

- Yes, some mushroom chocolate.

And everything just feels so... [sighs]

You know? - Mm-hmm, I do know.

- Closing my eyes does nothing.

I can still see everything through my eyelids.

- How much did you take exactly?

- Uh, like, a little less than a bar.

- A whole bar?

Dude, you're only supposed to eat, like, zero.

You're not supposed to do drugs.

- Huh. - I'll be right back.

Hey, is pharmacy still doing drug disposals or--

- Code Blue, I need some help in here!

- Coming!

- Code Blue, Code Blue, Code Blue, Code Blue.

- Hey!

Gotta be careful.

Don't wanna spill on my new shoes.

- Whoa-ho! Those are sharp.

Mr. GQ. - Thank you!

They are Lorenzo Albini. - Fancy.

My dad bought a pair of those when he went

through his midlife crisis. - Smart man.

Look at that leather!

Boy, those cows live a better life than we do,

except for the last two minutes.

- Right. - Mm-hmm!

Ain't nothing finer than a well-dressed man.

- Thank you, Doreen.

- I can't wear the leather. [chuckles]

Mm-mm, make my feet stink like something dead and wet.

Just nasty.

- Yeah, I usually don't splurge,

but I could not say no to these.

- They're nice.

They squeak, though.

- What's that? - Your shoes.

They squeak a little when you walk.

- Oh, please. They do not squeak.

[shoes squeaking]

Well, they squeak a little bit. They're new.

They will be broken in by lunch.

[shoes squeaking]

Excuse me.

- Yeah, my feet need the mesh.

My toes need to breathe.

- Stop talking about your feet.

Welcome, by the way. I'm Brandon.

- Hey, Matt.

Mind if I sit here till Tim comes?

- Oh, yeah. Just waiting for Bruce.

Double date. - [laughs] Okay.

What are you reading?

- Oh, it's F.

- Is that an encyclopedia? - Yeah.

Factory and facula were kind of slogs,

but so far, Fairfield, Iowa, has been pretty riveting.

- Why are you doing that?

- Oh, Bruce and Chaplain Steve are doing a trivia night,

and they need a third, so I'm trying to bone up.

But let's be honest, I'm no Michael Faraday.

That's the English scientist who pioneered

work in electromagnetism.

But Bruce says if they don't find anyone smart in time,

they might have to use me.

- Well, I hope they don't. - Thanks, Alex.

- Sure, yeah. - That's really nice.

- Okay.

Oh, what have we here?

Alex, you temptress.

No, no, I don't need this.

I'm off of sugar.

Back on the market, keeping it tight.

- Self-discipline.

Stay strong, boss.

- But I have been stressed, you know, all this drama

with the birthing center.

I deserve a little treat.

- That you do.

Heavy is the crown.

- No, I don't need it.

- I'll take it.

- No, it's mine.

It's earthy.

"Mystic Journey," wow.

Whatever happened to just plain old Hershey's?

- They still sell it. - Yeah, I know, Keith.

Well...

[shoes squeaking]

- I hear you, Ron.

- What you hear, Val, are the finest

Italian materials adapting to the exact contour

of my foot. - Oh.

I guess in Italy, they love loud, annoying [bleep].

- I know what you're doing.

You're bored, and you're gonna make this all about

the day Ron's shoes squeaked.

- Pretty sure they're gonna squeak every day.

- I am breaking them in.

[shoes squeaking]

- Uh, I left some chocolate here.

- Oh, yes.

[chuckles] Did I do that? Urkel.

- Uh, yeah, but--

- Don't worry, Beanie Baby. I'll buy you another one.

- No, um, it's just--

- What, it is artisanal?

I think I can afford it.

- Okay, um, I'm gonna tell you something that is totally fine

but sounds really bad.

You just ate shroom chocolate, Joyce.

- What, like psilocybin?

- I put it down to help a coding patient.

It was just for a second.

- Come on.

Relax.

Listen, let me tell you something.

Back in the '90s, I visited a place called Amsterdam, Europe.

Have you heard of it?

I ate an entire hash cookie by myself.

And guess what happened.

- It was awesome?

- I felt nothing, okay?

No harm, no foul.

It'll be fine.

- Joyce. - What?

What do you want me to do, go home?

- No. You shouldn't be alone.

Why don't you lie down?

Just take it easy.

- I have so many matters to attend to.

"Family Matters," Urkel.

[laughs] I'm kidding.

But no, look, it's gonna be fine.

- Okay.

If you say so.

- I can't believe you have a katana.

Literally my weapon of choice.

- Mine too. - Yeah.

I mean, not in real life, but in the game "Elden Ring."

- Oh. - Yeah, this feels way scarier.

- Yeah, well, you know what?

You could slice through one of your blades of grass

with this beauty. - Well, Bermuda, maybe.

I'd like to see it up against a fine fescue, though.

[laughter] - Hey, sweetie.

You okay? Did you get my text?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, we just got a little caught up.

- Alex, you never told me you were married

to such a fun, laid-back dude.

- Oh, yeah.

- I guess you got a kind of yin-yang thing going on.

- Oh, this guy. - It's fun.

- Hey, Bruce, I don't know if we're still on for lunch,

but I texted you a picture of the specials just in case.

- Ah, you didn't have to do that.

No, Cobb salad, extra chicken, no bacon, extra avocado.

And look, if they don't have it, all good.

Just get it somewhere else. - On it.

Thanks. - No problem.

So Tim has an MRI in an hour.

- Great.

I still have a few minutes if you wanna go--

- Let's do it. - Okay. [chuckles]

- Oh, hey, I was thinking, should I grab your number?

- I was just gonna say that.

- You guys, I can pass along any updates.

You don't have to--

- Well, no, just to have it for--

- Yeah. Dude, we gotta bump it.

- Oh, I love doing that. - Oh.

- It's like ET's finger. - I was gonna say.

[imitating ET] ET, bump phone.

- [chuckles] - Okay, that's hilarious.

- [chuckles] - That is absolutely hilarious.

.

- That went great.

You had me worried, but he's actually not that bad.

He's kind of funny. - Okay.

And you could hear all the stuff

he was saying and everything? Like--

- I know he gets on your nerves.

But you always said he's basically harmless, so--

- Well, sure, you know.

If you have to call someone harmless,

though, it's like--hey, guys.

- I might actually give him a call, though,

grab a beer or something-- unless you don't want me to.

- Oh, yeah. Can you imagine?

Delete his number. - [laughs]

- No, that'll be your decision. - Great.

Thanks, honey. Thanks for setting this up.

- Yeah. Oh.

- Can't wait for my knee to feel shmoney again.

- Oh.

[laughter]

- Hey, Joyce.

Are you feeling okay?

- Serena, I'm fine.

I told you, these things don't affect me.

It's the Henderson gut. We're a very acidic people.

- Well, okay. Just checking. [chuckles]

- Huh.

When did we get that?

Stunning.

- Uh, the fire extinguisher?

- Look at that red.

Pow!

That's a to-mah-to red.

Mm, I see you.

[chuckles] Gorgeous.

Wow.

- [stilted] Hi, Keith.

Nice to see you.

- Oh. Hey, Ron.

Nice to see you too.

Hey, got any big weekend plans or--

- I'm busy now, Keith.

- Hey, just wanted to say thanks again

for taking a look at Tim.

- Oh, come on-- salt of the earth.

- Yeah.

And listen, you're already doing us a favor,

so don't feel like you have to call him if you don't want to,

or answer his call.

- What? No, he's great.

Oh, uh, yeah, Dr. Sadorra's info.

He can set up a sleep study if you want.

- A sleep study? - For your whole snoring thing.

- Tim told you about that?

- Uh, yeah, it came up.

- How? - Ooh.

Well, we were talking Trail Blazers,

and then...I don't know.

[chuckles] Who cares?

That big lug loves you in spite of it all, hmm.

Oh, hey, has Tim seen that meme

where Shaq is excited, you know?

- Yeah, yeah, he's seen it. You know what?

It's actually-- it's so interesting that

you guys are vibing so much.

- Hmm? How so?

- Well, you know, you are, like, this cool,

you know, athlete type.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah.

- And Tim is just a big old dork.

[chuckles] - A dork?

What do you mean? What's he into?

- Oh, you know, sci-fi, fantasy, really boring history.

He read a whole book about space fighters.

- So bugs too, huh?

- He, like, memorizes species names.

I mean, just a big, pale, shivering nerd--

the love of my life, the best.

- Hmm, that is interesting.

Huh. Thanks for telling me. - Sure.

- Luckily, it wasn't broken, just a nasty sprain.

So you will want to ice, compress, and elevate,

and then you-- [shoes squeak]

I'm sorry. Those are my shoes.

- Was it?

Kind of sounded like a fart.

- These are new shoes. They've been squeaking all day.

- First I'm hearing of this.

- Val, listen, I can make them do it again.

I just-- [shoes rubbing floor]

Oh, hold on.

It was the shoes.

- Are you sure? It stinks in here.

- It does not.

What? Oh!

[coughs] Oh, gee, boy.

[sighs]

I did not fart!

- The squeak was Ron's shoes.

The smell was me.

I've always got one in the chamber.

- Just keep signing.

It's a good thing to focus on. - Hmm.

- I'll be close if you need anything.

- Pens.

- [sighs] Oh, my God, I know.

Aren't they amazing? [chuckles]

- Oh, oh, Holly, wait.

Your hair is so gorgeous.

And I always wanted to tell you that, but I never do.

Why?

- Oh, my gosh, thanks. - It's just so alive.

[chuckling] - Okay.

- Okay. - Holly, keep moving.

- [gasps] I could run these through

your hair if you wanted me to.

My--my hands are, like, big, fleshy combs.

- What?

- Wait, no.

They are combs.

- I--

- That is all a comb is, a decision.

You see?

- [laughs] Oh, my God.

Joyce, that's so hilarious.

- Yeah. - Right, Holly?

- I get it. - Ah.

- Combs. - Oh, yes.

- Okay, we should get to Zone B.

- That feels so correct.

- Matt?

You okay, bud?

- Well, I know two things for sure:

one, fair use is a legal doctrine

that permits the limited usage of copyrighted materials

without the copyright holder's permission,

and two, I am off the trivia team.

- Aw, I'm sorry, hon.

- Apparently your husband knows all kinds

of dorky trivia stuff.

- My--

oh, no. - Yeah.

- Okay.

I'm sorry, Matt. - Nah.

- That's-- - You should celebrate.

Your husband's on a bar trivia team.

How many women get to say that? - Right.

No, I'm psyched for-- for Tim, obviously.

It's just, you know, you worked really hard.

You deserve to be on that team.

- Thanks, but there can only be three.

Bruce says the trio is the most reliable social structure.

Look at porn, he says.

I won't, but I'm sure he's right.

- Okay, Matt, we are getting you on that team, all right?

- How?

- Well, you know, for you to play,

it seems like Tim's new friendship with Bruce

would just have to...

I'm leading you somewhere. - Oh, yeah.

- Their friendship... - Their friendship...

- Would have to... - To...

- Fall...

- In love. - Apart.

Apart. Fall apart. - Apart. Better.

Now we're talking. - Yeah.

- But what are we talking about?

.

- It's okay, leave the trash cans where they are.

We still want them here. - Joyce said to take them.

She said trash doesn't exist. Everything has value.

- I think she was just flirting with you.

- Oh, okay. - Yeah.

- It's been a lot of work chasing Joyce around

and putting out her little mushroom fires.

But I think I've contained the damage.

If I can just keep the number of people

she interacts with to a minimum, I can total--

- Hello, this is Dr. Joyce Henderson

with a very important announcement

that affects all employees.

Death is not real. - [bleep].

- It is a concept made up by social media.

So this is Jerry.

I think you two are really gonna get along.

- [gasps] Interesting. What movie is this?

- It's the Seattle Aquarium live feed.

- Ah.

[gentle music]

[chuckles] - Heh.

- Very well-written.

- I'm kind of nervous. - You're gonna be great.

- Should I disguise my voice? - No.

- Douglas Grass Solutions.

- [in Southern accent] Well, hello there, little lady!

- So Matt is going to call and place a huge grass order

with Tim's company, one that makes him drop everything,

including trivia night.

Matt joins the team, Bruce and Tim's friendship peters out,

and then we call in a couple days and cancel the order.

No harm, no foul.

Marriage, right?

[laughs]

- I'm calling from a very long car,

and I'm looking to buy some of your finest Kentucky blue--

grass, that is.

- Okay. How many acres?

- Is 500 a lot?

- [whispering] Oh, that's--

- Oh, wow. Yeah, um, hang on.

- [whispering] Is the accent too much?

- Yes.

- World awake, world asleep.

- [chuckles]

- World awake, world asleep.

Awake, asleep.

- Keep going. - Awake, asleep.

- King. - King.

- All right, I found the perfect third for triv night.

Major dweeb, good hang, closes our gaps in all the best ways.

- Lock it down. - All right.

Oh, it's gotta be tough on Matty.

- Little waving bitch.

- [chuckles] Yeah.

Well, I waved at him first.

- You know what I mean.

- Right, okay.

- All right, got some last rites.

King.

- Uh, king. Yeah.

- [grunting]

[can spraying]

- No, I'm not really giving Ron crap

for any particular reason.

He did once point out that I accidentally

tucked the back of my scrubs into my underwear,

but I barely remember that.

It was a long time ago.

March 5, 2019, or something.

- The failed inspection, the failed engagement--

it felt like me.

It felt like it was a failed me.

- But that was so not you.

- So not me. - Here's something I realized.

Someday, aliens are gonna come down,

and they're gonna ask some of us to get on their ship.

- Absolutely. Go on.

- Right? - Go on, mm-hmm.

- Well, what if they don't want me on the ship?

What if they don't want me because

I'm too much of a screw-up? - Jerry.

- No, no, but it's okay.

Because they need that.

They need people that screw up.

That's part of it.

- [voice breaking] Do they need people

who overcomplicate things?

- That's one of the main things that they need.

- [sighs]

[sniffling]

- Hey, babe. I'm so sorry, I gotta go.

I--I just got a huge order in.

- Wow, really?

- Yeah, I'm gonna be slammed for a while.

I already texted Bruce.

There's no way I'm gonna make trivia tomorrow night.

- Oh, gosh.

I really wanted that for you guys.

- This guy ordered 500 acres of seed.

That's 10 times bigger than any order we've ever had.

- Oh.

Heh, so 500's a lot, huh?

I guess I forgot how much an acre is.

- I feel bad, though, you know?

I'm gonna disappoint a few clients and make time for this,

but hey. - Oh, that's not--

- Mm. - Yeah.

- I gotta make some calls. - Okay, love you.

- Love you.

- [in Southern accent] Well, I do declare this plan a success.

[chuckles]

- Tim!

Tim!

.

- 500 acres? - I know.

- Do you not know anything about my job?

- I'm sorry. I let Matt pick the number.

And he's from Montana, so his sense of scale is insane.

I'm sorry. This was dumb.

- I just, like--

aren't you always telling me I need more guy friends?

- Well, yeah, but there's so many guys.

I mean, what about your college friends?

- Ben lives in Atlanta. Sam's in Tennessee.

- Well, you can still together.

You had that fun golf trip.

- Yes, that is a very fond memory from eight years ago.

- There's no way that was eight years.

Oh, my God, you right,

because I watched the Harry and Meghan wedding by myself.

There were so many hats. - Babe.

- Sorry.

Okay, I will admit, you need more guy friends,

but does it have to be Bruce?

I mean, you're just--you're so thoughtful and so kind,

and Bruce is just, like-- - Cocky.

- Yes.

- Lacking basic self-awareness. - Yes.

- Refers to himself as an apex predator.

- I didn't know about that one. Ew, baby.

- Yeah, I know. But you know what?

I don't know.

He also likes the show "Hot Ones,"

and I like the show "Hot Ones."

- Wait, the buffalo wing show?

- Well, I would argue it's more of a sauce show.

- Okay, well--

- Listen, I mean, look, I'm not gonna become like Bruce.

He's not gonna invade our lives.

- [sighs]

- We might just grab a beer sometimes.

- Okay.

That's completely fair.

But can you not talk to him about, like,

you know, like, my snoring and how--

- I am really sorry about that.

We were talking Trail Blazers, and we just got there.

- Sure, okay.

Yeah, that happens.

- If you're looking for a healthy snack,

you're facing the wrong way.

- Oh, my God, not at work.

- [chuckles] All right, all right.

I'll see you later, though?

- Maybe.

Bring the collar.

- [chuckling]

- Whoa, what was that?

- Oh, nothing.

We just, uh, got a little something going.

Shh. - Oh, really?

Tight, tight, tight.

- Oh, snap!

They got pizza Combos?

Uh, yes, please.

- [chuckling]

- Give me a couple bucks.

- Yeah.

Juggling multiple dudes in my life is getting a bit tricky.

Matt used to have a big old crush on Serena.

Now Steve's with her, and Steve's pretty mean to Matt.

So a part of me is almost like...[inhales sharply]

I'm not sure Matt will love that.

- You know what I realized?

I'm not a show-off.

Who cares about Italian leather and craftsmanship?

Not me.

From now on, I buy all my shoes from Step and Save.

- Trash does not exist.

Everything has value.

[chuckles] She was right.

- An appetite means you're coming down.

Are you feeling good?

- Serena, I am not exaggerating when I say

that I have never felt better.

For the past few hours, I've been at peace

with who I am, where I am, why I am,

maybe for the first time in my life.

And I've got a new best friend. [chuckles]

I just feel like everything is limitless,

you know?

Just, nothing is impossible.

- So we're good?

I'm not in trouble for this whole thing?

- Oh, Serenie Beanie, you worry way too much.

But that's okay, because they need people who worry too much.

- Oh, okay.

[chuckles]

- Well, your ship came in, kid.

You're on the team.

- Oh, what? No way. - Uh-huh.

- I'm sorry things didn't work out with Alex's husband.

- Oh, no, Tim's still in.

Steve won't be joining.

Just, uh, you know, a personal thing.

Anyway, practice sesh tonight at Alex's house.

- Garage. - Oh, garage, right.

Bathroom's inside, though, is what I was told.

- Yes, our--our bathrooms are inside our home.

- Okay, you could give the information

without the attitude.

Yeah, Steve was cool sitting this one out.

And, hey, I don't expect Matt to be a trivia asset.

But look, if things get crazy and we lose,

then there's someone to blame.

It'll all be Matt's fault. [chuckles]

Tim and I, we can just rail on him, so--

Yeah, I don't know.

I guess I'm becoming a bit of a softie. [chuckles]

[pens tapping rhythmically] - Bruce, hey.

Listen, just to say, in case you were--

Tim likes microbrews.

- Of course he does.

♪ Dream guy ♪ - OK.

- All right, I'll see you at the house.

- Garage!

[bell clangs]