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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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♪♪
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[ Whimpers ]
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[ Rustling ]
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[ yelling ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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-Hey!
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My name is Emma Manicotti, and I'm a worldwide phenom.
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I mean, everyone knows who I am.
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That's my dad, Alfredo.
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He's obviously way into noodles.
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-Get beaten, you bad flour.
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Oh, you're so bad. Who can help you?
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"I can help you." [ Gasps ]
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Yeast, you would help flour?
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"Yes. Of course I would, for you."
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Oh, yes. Take the yeast.
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-Right now, he's gearing up for
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the biggest noodle contest of all --
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the Global Pasta Championship.
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This is the one he needs to win,
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or our family fortune and fame is at risk.
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We already lost our brand of flour
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due to the gluten ban, so I know he'll do it.
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He's a winner.
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Oh, my God, check this out.
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So, this is my killer birthday party.
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[ Distant screaming ]
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-[ Screams ]
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♪♪
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-Oh, my God!
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[ Elevator music plays ]
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[ Elevator music continues ]
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♪♪
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Jerome. Thank God.
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I need the keys to the fastest and most expensive car
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that we have.
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-[ Moans ]
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-[ Gasps ]
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[ Gasps ]
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[ Alarm chirps ]
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Are you serious?
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[ Engine starts ]
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♪♪
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[ Gasps ]
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Oh! Oh, my God, help!
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What is this?
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That's Chub.
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He's the backwoods hillbilly that saved my ass.
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-Name's Chub. Short for Chublie.
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What's your name? -Wait, really?
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You don't know who I am? I'm worldwide, babe.
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Everyone knows who I am.
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I'm obviously Emma Man-- -Hush.
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You got a macaroni in your hair.
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-Okay, okay, sorry. Hold on.
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Let's just back up,
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before the Pastademic shitstorm boiled over.
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-No.
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[ Radio changes stations ]
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No.
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[ Radio changes stations ]
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Yes!
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[ Italian opera playing ]
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♪♪
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[ Singing in Italian ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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-Italian dude. Buongior-jino.
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-Manicotti, ti sei ingrassato.
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-Thanks.
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I was working out, but the weights were too heavy.
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But talk is for women.
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Do you have the...
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secret sauce?
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-Come hai ordinato, signore.
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I pomodori coltivati sulla luna con una riduzione di origano.
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-Yes, yes, yes. Your Italian is mesmerizing.
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But what about...
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the gluten?
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[ Thunder rumbles ]
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-Mi devi il doppio per il rischio che ho dovuto correre.
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-Good work, Italiana dude.
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Caio.
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-Police! Freeze!
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-Fuck me!
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A well-dressed national has been busted
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for trafficking gluten across international waters.
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Now, if you'll excuse me,
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I'm late for a screening of "Windbreakers."
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I've heard it's fart-tastic!
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-Are you kidding me right now?
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-Ah, my laboratory...
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but for cooking.
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Let's get this dinner party started.
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[ Beeping ]
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♪♪
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Now comes the forbidden ingredient --
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the gluten.
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Rise! You belong in mouths!
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Intestines are what you should be running through!
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[ Laughs evilly ]
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Rise, and renounce your dominion
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to all fortunate enough to soon eat you!
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-Ugh, God! Daddy!
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-Can't you see I'm cooking?
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-None of these birthday dresses I bought fit me.
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-Emma.
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Then why would you go and buy them all?
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-Because if I can't wear them, then no one will wear them.
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-You've had plenty of time to figure out a dress.
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$9,300?
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-I know, right? You call that "on sale"?
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[ Cries ]
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I spent so much of your money!
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-I'm in here busting my ass off
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making the world's best ziti alla genovese,
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and you're out throwing money down the drain.
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-[ Cries ]
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This contest is worth a fortune,
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and I need to win it to make up for our losses.
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This is where the money comes from!
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-Wait. What's that?
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-Nothing. A secr-- secret ingredient.
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-Did that say "gluten?" You know that's banned.
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Dad, you're not using gluten, are you?
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-Of course not.
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It looks like gluten, but it's actually an acronym
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for Great Linguini Uber Tasso Exsquisito Norophrophonine.
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It is an ancient preservative derivative from olive pits.
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-Oh, I know you're gonna win.
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Daddy, what would I do without you?
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-I guess you'd live an average life,
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get a job to pay for things, and have to do stuff on your own.
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-Oh, my God, you're so funny.
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I wouldn't know how to do any of that.
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-I know.
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How about a sunset dinner on the Lasagna One
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to celebrate your big thing -- what is it, anniversary?
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-It is my birthday, not my anniversary,
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but I better go buy a dress.
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See you on the boat.
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I mean, if you're a little overweight,
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but believe you're slender,
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does that make you translender?
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I know. Hold on, I gotta do the thing.
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What's up, ya'll?
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Welcome to the new episode of "Emma's Dilemma,"
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where I have to figure out what cool thing I buy next.
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Put your suggestions in the comments,
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and smash that "like" button and ring the bell for notifications.
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You don't want to miss what I'm getting that you can't afford.
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Be right back!
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What do you mean you got a job?
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Does it hurt? Are you okay?
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What's it like?
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-So perfect.
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So delicately sauced and accurately layered.
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If only you were alive,
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you could get a big, fat whiff of yourself.
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The hearty noodles so filled with gluten,
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but no one will know.
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No, no.
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We do this tomorrow, my friend, and we take home the prize.
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-Dad! Good news!
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I found a dress that fits.
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-A dress for what?
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-My birthday, silly.
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-Oh! It's blindingly fantastic.
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Even from LEDs, I can feel the heat coming off you.
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-Thank God!
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-Come. Let's eat.
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-Um...
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You know what? I'll just stand.
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-There's my girl, solving problems.
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-So, are you ready for tomorrow?
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-That's how ready I am for tomorrow.
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Right there.
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I bought the entire beach --
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which is inanely stupid since I don't have the money.
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But when I win, we will have the money,
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and we'll be celebrating like the ancient Romans
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when they first got Jesus.
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-Look. Dad.
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Birds in formation over the sunset.
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That's a sign of good luck.
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[ Thunder crashes ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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-Time's up!
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Let the taste test begin!
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And now, the moment that everyone's been waiting for --
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the winner of the $50 trillion
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Everlasting Worldwide Pasta Championship goes to...
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Al...
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...fre...
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de...
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[ Tense music plays ]
205
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-The snowman?
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No!
207
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-No!
208
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-Bernie, come here. Come here.
209
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This is a joke, right?
210
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I think you meant to say my name,
211
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but then you said the snowman's name.
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You cooked with gluten, Manicotti --
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which not only disqualified you, but it's a federal violation.
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-But -- But gluten is old-world, Bernie.
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It's the lifeblood of legacy pasta.
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-This makes you a criminal.
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[ Sirens wailing ]
218
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Hear that? That's the sound of your ride.
219
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-Bernie --
220
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-Your new home will be in Federal lockup,
221
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I'm sorry to say.
222
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-We've been friends for 30 years!
223
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You called the authorities on me?
224
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-Had to. -Oh, you had to?
225
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Is that what keeps friends? Thank you, Bernie.
226
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Thank you for doing your duty as a friend of 30 years.
227
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-Look, Alfredo, it's the rules --
228
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-I bought a beach, Bernie!
229
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You have no idea what this will do to me!
230
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-Come on, Manicotti, we're friends.
231
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,952
-We're not friends -- anymore.
232
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I said we're not friends. Did you hear me?
233
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You don't seem to be very broken up about it.
234
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There'll be a day you'll regret this.
235
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[ Laughs manically ]
236
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Why is everyone staring at me?!
237
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:29,708
Stare at yourselves, you monsters!
238
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I'm not good with feelings!
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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00:14:02,107 --> 00:14:11,383
♪♪
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00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:20,626
♪♪
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00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:29,835
♪♪
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-Breaking news!
246
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,242
Alfredo Manicotti goes down as the world's pasta mogul,
247
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as he is defeated by a snowman.
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There's snow messin' around with this snowman.
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He's snow joke.
250
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Snow what I mean?
251
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Snothin'?
252
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-The loser, Manicotti -- -It's a snow-brainer.
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Time waits for snow man.
254
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-The loser, Manicotti, still remains at large tonight.
255
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,334
They've set up a hotline,
256
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:04,203
but we're not going to tell you what it is.
257
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:07,406
-Speaking of farts, I just saw this movie "Windbreakers."
258
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It's amazing!
259
00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:11,510
You've got to -- you just have to check it out!
260
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♪♪
261
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♪♪
262
00:15:27,026 --> 00:15:28,894
[ Sirens wailing ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
265
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:46,545
-What's your pleasure, sir?
266
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,014
-Oh, nothing. I'm just browsing.
267
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,749
-Just take your time.
268
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Look around. -These are cute.
269
00:15:52,985 --> 00:15:55,287
Do you have these in taupe?
270
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Whoa.
271
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What...is...that?
272
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-It's...
273
00:16:02,594 --> 00:16:06,198
the Noodle of Destiny.
274
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,334
It's what you need.
275
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,135
-How do you know what I need?
276
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:13,005
-I don't. But that noodle does.
277
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,340
Take it.
278
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:18,944
You didn't find it, it found you.
279
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:21,246
What -- What does it do?
280
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:25,985
-It does whatever you want it to do.
281
00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:27,453
-How much?
282
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:28,454
-[ Chuckles ]
283
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:32,391
Money cannot purchase fate.
284
00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:34,426
-For free? That's a pretty good deal.
285
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,627
Can I get a box?
286
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:37,229
-Watch this.
287
00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:42,434
-Holy...Ooh!
288
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:45,004
Do you ever blink? -Isn't this weird?
289
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,305
You're weird, too!
290
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,742
Embrace it. Fulfill your destiny.
291
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,211
-Okay, I'm gonna get outta here before this gets any weirder.
292
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,512
-Come back soon.
293
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,214
And tell your friends about me.
294
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,716
[ Chuckles ]
295
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:06,258
-If everything's gluten-free,
296
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:09,962
then where did all the gluten go?
297
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:12,131
Hmm.
298
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:14,433
That was impossibly easy.
299
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:17,036
Here's your gluten-free grape-skin latte
300
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:18,804
in a banana-skin cup.
301
00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:22,107
-I'm sorry, but I ordered a gluten-filled mocha,
302
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:25,144
with double gluten, on top of more gluten.
303
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,179
I believe it's called the "Gluten Morgen."
304
00:17:27,312 --> 00:17:30,249
-But, like, gluten is forbidden.
305
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,917
Like, everyone knows that.
306
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,852
-Oh, thank you for reminding me.
307
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:36,155
You ignorant peasants!
308
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:38,223
Gluten is life!
309
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:39,958
Gluten-free brownies!
310
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,194
Look how crumbly they are!
311
00:17:42,327 --> 00:17:44,763
No gluten to hold them together!
312
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:45,964
[ Yells ]
313
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,199
[ Sirens wailing ]
314
00:17:47,332 --> 00:17:53,572
♪♪
315
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:56,241
-The estate and every item on this property
316
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,744
will go up for auction to reconcile all of the loans
317
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:01,080
and pay the enormous gluten fines.
318
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:03,315
-All he did was lose a cooking contest.
319
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,551
This doesn't make any sense.
320
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:06,752
[ Cries ]
321
00:18:06,885 --> 00:18:08,754
-Look, the system has ways to help you --
322
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,156
coupons for food, free bus tokens.
323
00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:13,158
Emma, you're smart. You'll get through this.
324
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:14,660
It's just that you'll have...
325
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:15,894
none of your stuff.
326
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,463
-Oh, man!
327
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,666
-Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for clown court.
328
00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,367
-All my stuff!
329
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,636
-Have a nice day. -[ Cries ]
330
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,506
How am I ever gonna survive?
331
00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:31,310
[ Phone buzzing, ringing ]
332
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,911
Dad? Where are you?
333
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,379
The police are everywhere.
334
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,281
-Yes, I know. They're very good runners.
335
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,851
-We are about to lose everything.
336
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,119
What's gonna happen to us?
337
00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:41,653
-We're gonna be okay, Emma.
338
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:44,656
I'm going to destroy -- I mean, I have a plan.
339
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:48,427
Because now I have the Noodle of Destiny.
340
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,795
-The noodle of what?
341
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:51,597
We're about to have nothing --
342
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,032
like, no things.
343
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,534
A gluten-free world did this to us.
344
00:18:55,667 --> 00:19:00,005
And soon, the gluten-free world will know my pain.
345
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,874
-But what about my birthday party?
346
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,243
-I won't be able to make it. But I hope you have fun.
347
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:07,045
You're turning... sweet 16-something?
348
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:08,647
-Plus 4. 21.
349
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:09,982
21!
350
00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:12,484
I was about to say "21." Okay.
351
00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:14,153
Listen, just give me a day or so.
352
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:15,554
Daddy loves you.
353
00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:18,857
I hope you have a killer birthday party.
354
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,425
-[ Cries ]
355
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,183
-Hey!
356
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:45,684
This is a Goddamn National Gluten Reserve.
357
00:19:45,817 --> 00:19:47,519
The hell! You can't come in here!
358
00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:49,555
-Oh yeah? Says who?
359
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,691
-Says me. I'm security around these parts.
360
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:54,426
Name's Bob.
361
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:59,198
Hey, you wanna see the Electric Pickle trick?
362
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,233
-Mm...will it take long?
363
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,402
-Watch this. It's amazin'
364
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,004
Ready? Okay.
365
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,272
Ain't that a hoot?
366
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:08,707
[ Laughs ]
367
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,510
-Hey, where'd you get them there noodles?
368
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:13,412
-My mama makes 'em from scratch.
369
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,080
I only like 'em al dente.
370
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,551
She calls me "Al Dente Bob," but my real name's just Bob.
371
00:20:19,685 --> 00:20:21,853
-Of course. -Is that your tiny bike?
372
00:20:21,987 --> 00:20:25,224
-It is now. I stole it from a child.
373
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:26,558
-Wait.
374
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:29,728
Dag nabit. You're Alfredo Manicotti.
375
00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:31,330
I've seen you on the TV.
376
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:33,632
Mama uses Emma Flour for pizza-making --
377
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:36,268
at least she used to, until the gluten ban.
378
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,704
Hey, would you sign my noodle bowl?
379
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:42,274
-Why don't we sign it inside that silo,
380
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,976
near all the gluten.
381
00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:45,177
We can get a selfie.
382
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:46,545
-Oh, hell yeah. Just hang on.
383
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,114
Let me find the keys.
384
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,382
Oh, man.
385
00:20:50,515 --> 00:20:51,984
No one's gonna believe I met you.
386
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:54,720
-Isn't that the point of the picture, Bob?
387
00:20:54,853 --> 00:20:55,988
-Thanks.
388
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,357
-So every one of these are filled to the brim
389
00:20:58,490 --> 00:20:59,992
with delicious gluten?
390
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,326
-Yup.
391
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,728
Government flies it in with tankers.
392
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:04,997
-Ugh. It's such a shame, right?
393
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:08,567
That gluten got such a bad rap for no reason?
394
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,802
-Well, you get them hippies from California
395
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,437
sayin' it's all bad stuff, then, next --
396
00:21:12,571 --> 00:21:15,774
-I'm coming up with this crazy idea, Bob.
397
00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:17,843
-Oh, boy. I love crazy.
398
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,778
-I'm gonna re-gluten the world.
399
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:21,747
And I'll need your help.
400
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,215
-Hell yeah, man!
401
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:25,651
Let me just go poop.
402
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,887
-We can't change past events, can we, little noodle?
403
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:30,322
No.
404
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:33,959
But we can change the rules, and bring back the flavor.
405
00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:36,461
Bring back...gluten!
406
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:39,031
[ Laughs manically ]
407
00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,570
Are you done pooping, Bob?
408
00:21:49,841 --> 00:21:51,443
-Hey, man, is this enough?
409
00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:53,278
-No. Yes. I mean, I don't know.
410
00:21:53,412 --> 00:21:56,948
Look, I'm sure it's between the storm and the electricity,
411
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:58,583
it's -- tie it to the weather vane.
412
00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:00,619
We'll catch something. I'm just winging it.
413
00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:02,454
[ Thunder crashes ]
414
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:17,903
♪♪
415
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:19,137
-She's hot, y'all!
416
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:22,808
-With the power of the Noodle of Destiny,
417
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:28,113
I command that all gluten be returned to the food chain,
418
00:22:28,246 --> 00:22:34,286
without penalty, and hereby replenish my income and --
419
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:37,589
What is that Goddamn noise?
420
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:39,624
-Aw, hell. Hang on.
421
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,364
-[ Yells ] It burns!
422
00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:47,632
[ Yells ]
423
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:52,971
-Hey.
424
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,710
Oh!
425
00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:07,619
-Yes, the house will still be in our possession for the party.
426
00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,554
It's not like we're broke right now.
427
00:23:09,688 --> 00:23:11,990
I mean, we will be very soon.
428
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:15,327
Of course my dad's not coming, you ding dong.
429
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:17,396
He's on the run, remember?
430
00:23:17,529 --> 00:23:18,797
It's all over the news.
431
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:21,199
Listen, the party starts at 10:00,
432
00:23:21,333 --> 00:23:22,567
I need you here by 8:00
433
00:23:22,701 --> 00:23:24,302
to help me with my makeup and dress.
434
00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,071
[ Thunder crashes ]
435
00:23:28,106 --> 00:23:35,881
♪♪
436
00:23:36,014 --> 00:23:43,789
♪♪
437
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:51,496
♪♪
438
00:23:51,630 --> 00:23:52,764
-I've lost weight.
439
00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:56,334
I feel so slim -- slim with power --
440
00:23:56,468 --> 00:23:59,805
sweet, glutenous power.
441
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:02,541
-Hey, what's going on with us?
442
00:24:02,674 --> 00:24:04,943
-Welcome to the Pastalution, Bob.
443
00:24:05,076 --> 00:24:09,347
Now, let's see how far we can push this.
444
00:24:09,481 --> 00:24:11,483
Let's get cookin'!
445
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,385
Noodloids!
446
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:15,287
Bowties!
447
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:17,889
Linguinioids!
448
00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:19,090
Yes!
449
00:24:19,224 --> 00:24:20,492
Rise!
450
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:22,427
Rise, my children!
451
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:25,430
Make way for the New Noodle Order!
452
00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:28,700
Give thanks to the life!
453
00:24:28,834 --> 00:24:32,103
Now, my Noodlings, go forth
454
00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:35,173
and fill the food chain with gluten!
455
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,843
[ Cheering ]
456
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,077
Let...
457
00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,046
Pastacolypse...
458
00:24:41,179 --> 00:24:43,014
begin!
459
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:50,055
-This is cool and all, but do you know what you're doing?
460
00:24:50,188 --> 00:24:51,990
-Let me answer that with a question --
461
00:24:52,123 --> 00:24:54,259
does any mad man know what he's doing when he's doing it?
462
00:24:54,392 --> 00:24:56,027
Mad men are doers, Bob.
463
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,562
That's how things get done.
464
00:24:57,696 --> 00:24:59,097
-How are you gonna bring back gluten?
465
00:24:59,231 --> 00:25:01,700
-I don't know. I'm figuring it out myself.
466
00:25:01,833 --> 00:25:03,001
-You had nothing else to do.
467
00:25:03,134 --> 00:25:05,036
-Stop asking questions! -All right.
468
00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:06,771
-We're great coming out of the gate.
469
00:25:06,905 --> 00:25:08,573
It's not time to question.
470
00:25:08,707 --> 00:25:10,942
This is the answer. -If you say so.
471
00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:13,812
-You can be supportive or you can be negative.
472
00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:16,248
I would prefer a little supportive-ness.
473
00:25:16,381 --> 00:25:19,451
We're already doing much more than people expected, okay?
474
00:25:19,584 --> 00:25:22,287
-Okay. -Just let this roll, baby.
475
00:25:24,422 --> 00:25:28,460
-Ladies and Gentlemen, hot crusty food pockets!
476
00:25:28,593 --> 00:25:31,296
Ooh, they smell delicious!
477
00:25:33,865 --> 00:25:36,134
Who's bored with this show?
478
00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:37,669
I am, right?
479
00:25:37,802 --> 00:25:40,272
Can I get a channel change on three?
480
00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:41,573
One...
481
00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:42,807
two...
482
00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:45,277
[ Pounding on door ]
483
00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:46,845
Well, hello, there.
484
00:25:46,978 --> 00:25:49,014
Are you gluten-free?
485
00:25:52,984 --> 00:25:54,252
[ Glass shattering ]
486
00:25:54,386 --> 00:26:02,427
[ Dramatic music plays ]
487
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:10,602
♪♪
488
00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:19,010
♪♪
489
00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:27,185
♪♪
490
00:26:27,319 --> 00:26:35,460
♪♪
491
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:44,836
[ Upbeat music playing ]
492
00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:48,039
-Ladies and gentlemen,
493
00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:51,076
I present to you the guest of honor
494
00:26:51,209 --> 00:26:53,345
and birthday girl of the year,
495
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:59,584
Emma Maniiiiiiiii...
496
00:26:59,718 --> 00:27:01,219
cotti!
497
00:27:05,223 --> 00:27:07,292
And for everyone's enjoyment,
498
00:27:07,425 --> 00:27:09,728
the dish you've been waiting for --
499
00:27:09,861 --> 00:27:12,597
gluten-free Pasta salad!
500
00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:14,899
[ Rumbling ]
501
00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:16,201
[ Noodle hisses ]
502
00:27:16,334 --> 00:27:17,502
-Aah!
503
00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:19,804
-Whoa! [ Horse neighs ]
504
00:27:19,938 --> 00:27:21,740
[ Hoofbeats approaching ]
505
00:27:21,873 --> 00:27:23,074
[ Horse neighs ]
506
00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,409
Shenandoah!
507
00:27:24,542 --> 00:27:27,278
[ Horse neighs ]
508
00:27:27,412 --> 00:27:28,813
♪♪
509
00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:31,349
[ Noodle shrieks ]
510
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,051
♪♪
511
00:27:33,184 --> 00:27:34,519
-Aaaahhhh!
512
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,721
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
513
00:27:36,855 --> 00:27:38,590
-Aaahhh!
514
00:27:38,723 --> 00:27:41,493
[ Squeaking ]
515
00:27:41,626 --> 00:27:44,663
-Okay, so this is where we started, remember?
516
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:46,798
Aaahhh!
517
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:47,832
No! Stop!
518
00:27:47,966 --> 00:27:51,369
[ Gunshots ]
519
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:52,937
Are you freaking kidding me?
520
00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,572
What the hell are those things?!
521
00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:56,074
-Hey, hey! The language.
522
00:27:56,207 --> 00:27:58,176
-I'm just really scared... -Okay.
523
00:27:58,309 --> 00:27:59,811
-...and I want my dad... -Okay.
524
00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:02,113
-...and my stuff and my party back...
525
00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:03,515
-Okay. -...and this shouldn't be
526
00:28:03,648 --> 00:28:04,749
happening to me... -Mnh-mnh.
527
00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:06,184
-...because I'm so rich, and... -Easy!
528
00:28:06,317 --> 00:28:07,719
-Who are you?!
529
00:28:07,852 --> 00:28:08,887
-Chub. Remember?
530
00:28:09,020 --> 00:28:11,189
[ Gun cocks ]
531
00:28:11,322 --> 00:28:12,957
Remember you was in the noodle swamp, the macaroni
532
00:28:13,091 --> 00:28:15,894
was about to kill ya, had the shotgun, saved ya life.
533
00:28:16,027 --> 00:28:17,295
You don't remember that all that?
534
00:28:17,429 --> 00:28:19,030
-[ Sobbing ] -You gonna -- You gonna be okay.
535
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:22,033
-I just fell into a pit of warm macaroni
536
00:28:22,167 --> 00:28:24,903
that was alive and wriggling around.
537
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:27,806
Does that sound "okay" to you?!
538
00:28:27,939 --> 00:28:30,375
[ Gunshot ]
539
00:28:30,508 --> 00:28:33,812
-Holy shit. Did you just see me swing in on that vine?
540
00:28:33,945 --> 00:28:37,182
That was, like, 300 yards of kick-ass.
541
00:28:37,315 --> 00:28:38,817
Chub, what are you staring at?
542
00:28:38,950 --> 00:28:40,852
-This girl. -Oh, God.
543
00:28:40,985 --> 00:28:42,353
We're in the middle of a noodle-demic,
544
00:28:42,487 --> 00:28:44,556
and you're chasing girls in the woods.
545
00:28:44,689 --> 00:28:46,157
So, what's your name?
546
00:28:46,291 --> 00:28:48,827
-E-Em-ma-ma-ma.
547
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,296
Em-m-ma-m-ma.
548
00:28:51,429 --> 00:28:52,664
Emma. Emma.
549
00:28:52,797 --> 00:28:54,733
-[ Clicks tongue ] Okay.
550
00:28:54,866 --> 00:28:56,334
Who wants to swing around on some vines?
551
00:28:56,468 --> 00:28:58,069
[ Singsongy voice ] I know a couple of good ones.
552
00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:00,105
-We gotta get her back to the Ranch.
553
00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:02,841
-Oh, God, Chub, she can barely say her name.
554
00:29:02,974 --> 00:29:04,542
Do you think she has the capacity to walk?
555
00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:08,713
-She's human, and there ain't many of us left.
556
00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:09,848
-[ Sighs ]
557
00:29:09,981 --> 00:29:12,016
All right, this is how it goes.
558
00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:13,818
You join us, you fight.
559
00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:15,787
You don't fight, you're dead.
560
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,622
See this bear?
561
00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:19,324
He's amazing.
562
00:29:19,457 --> 00:29:21,226
[ Whispering ] Remember that.
563
00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:23,228
Come on, let's get a vine. -Mary, ease up.
564
00:29:23,361 --> 00:29:25,497
We're just gettin' to know each other.
565
00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:26,931
Save your crazy for tomorrow.
566
00:29:27,065 --> 00:29:28,833
I'm sure we gonna need your crazy tomorrow.
567
00:29:28,967 --> 00:29:30,969
-I love plushies. Please don't hurt me.
568
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:32,804
I have a horse. Well, I had a horse.
569
00:29:32,937 --> 00:29:34,472
-Let's race! -Do you like horses?
570
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:36,608
I also have this new idea where I want to make a game...
571
00:29:36,741 --> 00:29:38,810
-I'm swingin'! -...that starts out really easy,
572
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,378
but then it gets really hard at the end.
573
00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:41,880
I don't know. -♪ Swingin' ♪
574
00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:43,114
-I think I could sell it to a newspaper
575
00:29:43,248 --> 00:29:44,749
or some upcoming media like that.
576
00:29:44,883 --> 00:29:47,385
Do you think that you'd want to play that game, or I --
577
00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:50,155
Um, do you know where we're going?
578
00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:54,325
- I want to introduce you to my twin brother, Halfway.
579
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:56,127
[ Boing! ]
580
00:29:56,261 --> 00:29:58,062
Halfway, this is Emma. -Hey!
581
00:29:58,196 --> 00:29:59,497
How you doin'? Nice to meet you, Emma.
582
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,633
-Everybody get us mixed up all the time.
583
00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:02,934
-Can I lend you a hand? -What?!
584
00:30:03,067 --> 00:30:04,936
-Look at him. He just showin' off.
585
00:30:05,069 --> 00:30:07,472
-Okay, what kind of piece of junk is this?
586
00:30:07,605 --> 00:30:08,940
You call it a boat!?
587
00:30:09,073 --> 00:30:10,308
-Well, like they taught me in Hebrew School,
588
00:30:10,441 --> 00:30:11,943
it ain't about what you're driving --
589
00:30:12,076 --> 00:30:13,211
It's about where you're going.
590
00:30:13,344 --> 00:30:14,546
-We're barely floating, and this guy
591
00:30:14,679 --> 00:30:16,014
just handed me his hand and -- -Whoo!
592
00:30:16,147 --> 00:30:17,882
Watch your head there, lady! -What?!
593
00:30:18,016 --> 00:30:19,617
-Damn things come out of nowhere.
594
00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:21,753
-Who are you people?
595
00:30:21,886 --> 00:30:23,154
-"Who are we," you ask?
596
00:30:23,288 --> 00:30:26,257
We are rustic, clodhoppin' backwoodsmen.
597
00:30:26,391 --> 00:30:29,561
You ever seen "The Hills Have Eyes" or "Deliverance"?
598
00:30:29,694 --> 00:30:34,132
We're those kind of people -- the ones teenagers fear.
599
00:30:34,265 --> 00:30:36,868
-Oh, so you're the underprivileged?
600
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:38,136
-Underprivileged?
601
00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:40,538
I'm Bill Gates of the woods!
602
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:43,441
This fly-ass yacht, bunch of buckshot.
603
00:30:43,575 --> 00:30:46,911
My mama taught us how to shoot squirrels when we were little.
604
00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:49,581
Puts meat on your bones.
605
00:30:49,714 --> 00:30:51,616
-Where's your mama now?
606
00:30:51,749 --> 00:30:53,651
-She's dead.
607
00:30:53,785 --> 00:30:56,387
Noodles got her. -Aw.
608
00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:58,890
Okay, well, speaking of things that aren't dead...
609
00:30:59,023 --> 00:31:01,392
what's with these noodles? [ Gunshot ]
610
00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:04,429
-You eat meat?
611
00:31:04,562 --> 00:31:05,830
-Yeah, no.
612
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:07,065
Um, do you have a shower?
613
00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:08,800
I think I'm gonna go throw up,
614
00:31:08,933 --> 00:31:10,068
but I need to do it in the shower.
615
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:12,070
-Nope, but we got a washtub and all.
616
00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:14,339
-Oh, damn. I was gonna take a bath in that tonight.
617
00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:17,775
-You can bathe tomorrow, bro. Half your body plastic.
618
00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:19,911
Use some glass cleaner and a rag.
619
00:31:20,044 --> 00:31:21,179
-Thank God we got a toilet.
620
00:31:21,312 --> 00:31:23,248
-Let's give it up for our new guest.
621
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,816
-Okeedoke. I'll get to cleanin' it out.
622
00:31:24,949 --> 00:31:27,518
It's still full of crawfish guts from that boil we had.
623
00:31:27,652 --> 00:31:29,921
And looky here. There's already some puke in it.
624
00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:31,256
Guess they got to it before you did.
625
00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:32,991
-[ Gags ] [ Knife slashes ]
626
00:31:35,226 --> 00:31:37,395
-Welcome to the Ranch.
627
00:31:40,031 --> 00:31:47,805
♪♪
628
00:31:47,939 --> 00:31:55,680
♪♪
629
00:31:55,813 --> 00:31:58,082
[ Beeping ]
630
00:31:59,150 --> 00:32:01,486
-Noodle satellites airborne.
631
00:32:01,619 --> 00:32:04,989
-Soon we will control all the Earth's transmissions
632
00:32:05,123 --> 00:32:07,759
and stream gluten-filled propaganda
633
00:32:07,892 --> 00:32:09,727
onto all devices. [ Thud ]
634
00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:11,763
-Stand by for orbit. [ Ding ]
635
00:32:11,896 --> 00:32:14,065
-Bob, does that ding mean they're in orbit now?
636
00:32:14,198 --> 00:32:16,134
An oddly low-tech sound.
637
00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:17,869
-No, that's my burrito.
638
00:32:18,002 --> 00:32:19,203
-Burrito complete.
639
00:32:19,337 --> 00:32:21,139
-It's cheese and bean. You want some?
640
00:32:21,272 --> 00:32:23,741
Got it from the gas station a week ago.
641
00:32:23,875 --> 00:32:26,344
-No, thanks, Bob. I'm getting another idea.
642
00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:29,681
It involves gluten missiles and pasta reserve silos
643
00:32:29,814 --> 00:32:31,149
that are based across the globe.
644
00:32:31,282 --> 00:32:33,484
If we can hit those with precision,
645
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:37,755
we can build a pasta force of extraordinary strength.
646
00:32:37,889 --> 00:32:39,991
Whaddya say? You up for it?
647
00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:42,627
-[ Belches ]
648
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,195
I like it.
649
00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:49,067
-Well, I've tracked the signal down to the Panhandle.
650
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,035
There might be 20 -- who knows -- 30 humans.
651
00:32:51,169 --> 00:32:53,271
Goddamn thing.
652
00:32:54,305 --> 00:32:55,974
-You -- You dropped your arm.
653
00:32:56,107 --> 00:32:57,475
Just in case you hadn't noticed.
654
00:32:57,608 --> 00:32:59,844
-We goin' that direction. We're safer in numbers.
655
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:03,414
If this signal is for real, we can build a resistance.
656
00:33:03,548 --> 00:33:05,083
-Resistance? Out of what --
657
00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:07,452
plastic boy dolls and stuffed bears?
658
00:33:07,585 --> 00:33:09,654
More like a "Romper Room" army.
659
00:33:09,787 --> 00:33:10,888
-Who the hell is that?
660
00:33:11,022 --> 00:33:13,024
-Seriously? Who the hell am I?
661
00:33:13,157 --> 00:33:14,993
-That's the guy who had to tell his sister
662
00:33:15,126 --> 00:33:16,928
he already had a prom date.
663
00:33:17,061 --> 00:33:18,463
-Name's Kent Trey, darlin'.
664
00:33:18,596 --> 00:33:20,798
Biggest country artist on the radio.
665
00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:21,866
Pleasure's yours.
666
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,935
[ Sizzling ]
667
00:33:24,068 --> 00:33:26,437
♪♪
668
00:33:26,571 --> 00:33:28,773
-Yeah, I just stream my music, so...
669
00:33:28,906 --> 00:33:31,109
Hey, can I get some face wipes and skin toner?
670
00:33:31,242 --> 00:33:33,845
-I used them all, and I've been asking for more,
671
00:33:33,978 --> 00:33:35,613
but no one seems to listen.
672
00:33:35,747 --> 00:33:38,816
-Okay, well, how are we supposed to stay clean and moisturized?
673
00:33:38,950 --> 00:33:40,385
-Looks like we're not.
674
00:33:40,518 --> 00:33:42,120
We don't even have decent food on this thing --
675
00:33:42,253 --> 00:33:43,788
[ Gunshot ]
676
00:33:43,921 --> 00:33:46,624
-Please shut up.
677
00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:50,862
-If I could just call my dad, he could fix this.
678
00:33:50,995 --> 00:33:53,798
And he would help me get away from you people.
679
00:33:53,931 --> 00:33:59,637
-If my mama gone, I guarantee your daddy gone.
680
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,373
[ Beeping ]
681
00:34:02,507 --> 00:34:05,176
-A gluten-free threat has been detected.
682
00:34:05,309 --> 00:34:06,811
- Manicotti, sir,
683
00:34:06,944 --> 00:34:09,781
we are getting a signal from a renegade humanoid outfit
684
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:11,315
based in San Francisco.
685
00:34:11,449 --> 00:34:12,817
-The hell you say?
686
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:15,520
-Noodle satellite confirms the group's one of those
687
00:34:15,653 --> 00:34:18,456
"gluten-free, plastic straw-banning,
688
00:34:18,589 --> 00:34:21,559
keep-kids-in-masks, destroy the beef industry"
689
00:34:21,692 --> 00:34:23,761
[Breathes deeply] extremists.
690
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:25,296
Ran out of breath there.
691
00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:27,698
-Cows make the milk that is the vital ingredient
692
00:34:27,832 --> 00:34:30,001
in Bolognese, and plastic straws
693
00:34:30,134 --> 00:34:33,971
are essential for sipping flavorful sugared coffee drinks.
694
00:34:34,105 --> 00:34:36,207
And masks are for Halloween fun!
695
00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:38,543
Unleash the bow tie battalion,
696
00:34:38,676 --> 00:34:42,980
and make sure they leave a carbon footprint bigger
697
00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:44,415
than a Pope sandwich!
698
00:34:44,549 --> 00:34:46,517
-The slower ones, sir, or the faster?
699
00:34:46,651 --> 00:34:49,153
-The faster ones, Bob! -I don't know. The -- Are the...
700
00:34:49,287 --> 00:34:54,092
-Jesus H.! San Francisco is 2,300 miles away!
701
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:56,461
-Uh... -That's two movies on the plane.
702
00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:59,030
-I-I'm not... -Just do the thing now!
703
00:34:59,163 --> 00:35:00,398
Now! -Whatever. I --
704
00:35:00,531 --> 00:35:02,133
-Do the thing to the thing! -Hey, hey.
705
00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:04,535
You don't have to take that mean sort of tone.
706
00:35:04,669 --> 00:35:06,204
Everyone around here is cool.
707
00:35:06,337 --> 00:35:08,806
-I'm just exaggerating my leadership qualities.
708
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,441
I'm sorry if it bothers you.
709
00:35:10,575 --> 00:35:13,945
-It'd just be nice if you could sometimes say "please"
710
00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:17,048
or "do you mind if..."
711
00:35:17,181 --> 00:35:20,118
-Launch the bow ties, please!
712
00:35:20,251 --> 00:35:21,953
Do you mind if!
713
00:35:22,086 --> 00:35:23,588
-Deploy Bow Tie Force One!
714
00:35:23,721 --> 00:35:26,824
-Bow Tie Force One, commence primary ignition.
715
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,059
-How was that, Bob?
716
00:35:28,192 --> 00:35:29,594
Peaches and cream?
717
00:35:32,063 --> 00:35:33,297
-Over Texas now.
718
00:35:33,431 --> 00:35:35,266
Approaching simmering velocity.
719
00:35:35,399 --> 00:35:36,868
They've gone full boil.
720
00:35:37,001 --> 00:35:39,804
-F those F'ers in the F'ing A.
721
00:35:39,937 --> 00:35:43,741
♪♪
722
00:35:45,009 --> 00:35:52,350
♪♪
723
00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:54,118
[ Slow jazz music plays ]
724
00:35:54,252 --> 00:36:01,959
♪♪
725
00:36:02,093 --> 00:36:09,800
♪♪
726
00:36:09,934 --> 00:36:11,235
[ Seals barking ]
727
00:36:11,369 --> 00:36:15,039
♪♪
728
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:17,108
[ Seals barking ]
729
00:36:17,241 --> 00:36:21,279
♪♪
730
00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:22,980
-Aah!
731
00:36:23,114 --> 00:36:29,320
♪♪
732
00:36:29,453 --> 00:36:35,626
♪♪
733
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,728
-Idiots annoodleated.
734
00:36:37,862 --> 00:36:39,430
[ Clapping ]
735
00:36:39,564 --> 00:36:41,933
-May the streets run red.
736
00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:45,836
Now, more importantly, how's the ol' beach house comin' along?
737
00:36:45,970 --> 00:36:53,477
♪♪
738
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:55,947
-[ Grunts ] -What are you making?
739
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,050
-This is my retort to the shit world we are livin' in.
740
00:36:59,183 --> 00:37:00,284
-"Retort"?
741
00:37:00,418 --> 00:37:01,986
Hey, that's a big word. Good job.
742
00:37:02,119 --> 00:37:05,323
-Yes, it's a vulgar display of my considerable vocabulary.
743
00:37:05,456 --> 00:37:06,524
-How did you know it?
744
00:37:06,657 --> 00:37:07,992
-Well...I read a lot.
745
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:09,927
-I don't know what you're talking about,
746
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,696
but I do know one motherfuckin' thing --
747
00:37:11,829 --> 00:37:14,732
Reading's for nerds! Drinking's for men.
748
00:37:14,865 --> 00:37:17,134
-Read this, jerkwad. -Sorry, plastic boy.
749
00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:19,704
I don't know sign language. -It is what it is.
750
00:37:19,837 --> 00:37:22,840
-Don't you ever say shit like that to me again.
751
00:37:22,974 --> 00:37:25,142
-Mind if I roast this?
752
00:37:25,276 --> 00:37:26,811
-Do you know how they make those?
753
00:37:26,944 --> 00:37:28,913
Machines make those.
754
00:37:29,046 --> 00:37:30,114
-This was all Chub had.
755
00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:32,683
It's gluten-free.
756
00:37:32,817 --> 00:37:33,718
-Umm...
757
00:37:33,851 --> 00:37:35,620
you might wanna... -[ Blows ]
758
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:37,722
Yeah, I'm just not used to cooking my own meals, so...
759
00:37:37,855 --> 00:37:40,324
I guess I should start trying now, you know.
760
00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:41,425
Hey, I like your bear.
761
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,261
What's his name? -Thanks.
762
00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:45,329
This is Rowdy. [ Squeak! Squeak! ]
763
00:37:45,463 --> 00:37:47,832
Short for McRowdy. He's Irish.
764
00:37:47,965 --> 00:37:49,467
-Aww. He's so cute.
765
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:52,270
I just wanna touch him. I -- -Shh.
766
00:37:52,403 --> 00:37:53,537
He's sleeping.
767
00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:55,606
-Okay. -You wanna know a secret?
768
00:37:55,740 --> 00:37:59,176
That country guy -- He's literally got nine minutes
769
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:01,012
and 23 frames to live.
770
00:38:01,145 --> 00:38:02,747
And if you want to stay alive around here,
771
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,617
you've got to pretend you're the potatoes.
772
00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:09,320
Come on. You know what I mean, right?
773
00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:10,454
-Can you help me?
774
00:38:10,588 --> 00:38:12,523
-Sure, I love helping people
775
00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:15,860
who've never learned to help themselves.
776
00:38:17,094 --> 00:38:18,829
-♪ Yes, I'm living in the present ♪
777
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:21,132
♪ Close to making mills, still be living like a peasant ♪
778
00:38:21,265 --> 00:38:23,834
♪ Following my dreams, even when I'm still awake ♪
779
00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:26,570
♪ All I show is love, but they all be full of hate ♪
780
00:38:26,704 --> 00:38:29,073
♪ Everybody fake, it's hard to find the real ♪
781
00:38:29,206 --> 00:38:31,742
♪ Look how many wack rappers be signing a deal ♪
782
00:38:31,876 --> 00:38:33,911
♪ Look how many homeless people be feeling a meal ♪
783
00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:35,880
♪ But the mother-- ♪ -No, no, no, no, no.
784
00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:38,649
-There's something that probably bothered you. All right.
785
00:38:38,783 --> 00:38:40,318
-Not near the ocean.
786
00:38:40,451 --> 00:38:42,887
Everybody has a house near the ocean.
787
00:38:43,020 --> 00:38:46,457
My house will be on the ocean! -Yes, sir.
788
00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:48,292
-How's this?
789
00:38:48,426 --> 00:38:49,360
Is this helping you?
790
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:50,461
Whippy sticks in your face?
791
00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:52,029
-Those sticks are going so fast.
792
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,632
You're like a praying mantis hopped up on caffeine!
793
00:38:54,765 --> 00:38:56,334
-Come on, Emma! -Could you just slow down?
794
00:38:56,467 --> 00:38:57,568
God, I didn't do anything to you.
795
00:38:57,702 --> 00:38:59,537
Why are you coming at me like this?
796
00:38:59,670 --> 00:39:01,439
-You've got five seconds.
797
00:39:01,572 --> 00:39:03,974
Four, three. What? Oh.
798
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:06,010
Good instincts. We can work with that.
799
00:39:06,143 --> 00:39:08,045
-[ Sighs ] Okay, cool. We're done, right?
800
00:39:08,179 --> 00:39:09,347
What's for dinner?
801
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:10,715
I've really worked up an appetite.
802
00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:13,351
-Oh, I know. Working out makes me ravenous.
803
00:39:13,484 --> 00:39:15,853
I made us burgers. -Oh, thank you!
804
00:39:15,986 --> 00:39:17,388
I'm starved.
805
00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:20,858
[ Water splashes ] -Can you fly, Emma?
806
00:39:20,991 --> 00:39:23,160
Breaking news -- You can't!
807
00:39:23,294 --> 00:39:24,462
-Are you serious?
808
00:39:24,595 --> 00:39:27,164
-Mmm, this is so good!
809
00:39:27,298 --> 00:39:28,733
You should really have some.
810
00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:31,535
Oh, wait. You're in a swamp surrounded by gators.
811
00:39:31,669 --> 00:39:33,404
[ Alligator hisses ] -Hey! No, you stop.
812
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:35,439
No!
813
00:39:38,776 --> 00:39:41,879
I could have been severely killed.
814
00:39:42,012 --> 00:39:44,582
-I saw this movie once, called "Windbreakers."
815
00:39:44,715 --> 00:39:47,451
The only thing left to eat were beans.
816
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:48,953
The aliens couldn't see or hear,
817
00:39:49,086 --> 00:39:52,323
but they could smell farts from, like, a mile away.
818
00:39:52,456 --> 00:39:53,491
-[ Laughing ] Okay.
819
00:39:53,624 --> 00:39:55,226
-It was such a good movie.
820
00:39:55,359 --> 00:39:59,430
It motivated me to learn the way of the woods.
821
00:39:59,563 --> 00:40:01,132
-Oh, thank you!
822
00:40:02,533 --> 00:40:03,834
-Still can't fly, eh?
823
00:40:03,968 --> 00:40:05,936
-God dang it! I didn't do anything to you!
824
00:40:06,070 --> 00:40:08,439
-I know! That's why I'm helping!
825
00:40:08,572 --> 00:40:11,742
[ Rock music plays ]
826
00:40:11,876 --> 00:40:13,010
-Hyah!
827
00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:14,245
-Hoo!
828
00:40:14,378 --> 00:40:19,583
♪♪
829
00:40:19,717 --> 00:40:21,952
-Ow! -Ha!
830
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:27,892
-♪ Sometimes in life, you have to make a stand ♪
831
00:40:28,025 --> 00:40:29,393
[ Explosion ]
832
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:32,263
♪ 'Cause you know that only the strong survive ♪
833
00:40:32,396 --> 00:40:33,931
-Laser!
834
00:40:34,064 --> 00:40:35,132
Sword!
835
00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:37,368
-♪ When it's time to face the fire ♪
836
00:40:37,501 --> 00:40:39,336
♪ You're walking on the wire ♪
837
00:40:39,470 --> 00:40:42,840
♪ And no one's there to catch you if you fall ♪ [ Gunshots ]
838
00:40:42,973 --> 00:40:44,909
♪ You've got to know that you ♪
839
00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,178
♪ You know you're never wrong ♪
840
00:40:47,311 --> 00:40:48,779
-Wow. Good shot.
841
00:40:48,913 --> 00:40:51,248
-Thanks. I, uh -- I didn't mean to shoot --
842
00:40:51,382 --> 00:40:53,317
-Oh, no, I'm sure you didn't.
843
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:54,919
Yeah, miss all the enemies,
844
00:40:55,052 --> 00:40:58,756
but blow away the person who actually wants to help you.
845
00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:00,591
-So, now what? -Just two more things.
846
00:41:00,724 --> 00:41:04,428
-Oh, my God. When I asked, "Now what," I didn't mean for real.
847
00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:06,464
[ Thunder crashes ]
848
00:41:06,597 --> 00:41:09,099
-Now, this is what I'm talking about!
849
00:41:09,233 --> 00:41:10,401
Look at that view!
850
00:41:10,534 --> 00:41:11,669
-Yeah, it's real nice.
851
00:41:11,802 --> 00:41:13,003
-It's to die for.
852
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,005
I mean, I wouldn't die for it, but...
853
00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:16,607
I do want to change the lamps.
854
00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:18,108
-Yes, sir. -We need to swap out the rugs,
855
00:41:18,242 --> 00:41:19,643
and I don't like any of the lighting fixtures.
856
00:41:19,777 --> 00:41:21,278
-Yes, sir. -And we need to commission
857
00:41:21,412 --> 00:41:23,681
an artist to paint a larger- than-life portrait of me.
858
00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:25,082
-Yes, sir. -We need to switch out
859
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:26,884
the scones. The sconces. -Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
860
00:41:27,017 --> 00:41:28,786
-The house needs more me. -Yes, sir.
861
00:41:28,919 --> 00:41:30,754
-You can do this.
862
00:41:30,888 --> 00:41:33,757
Just take your hand and throw it!
863
00:41:33,891 --> 00:41:36,560
-This is the portal to my fans.
864
00:41:36,694 --> 00:41:39,430
There are hundreds of millions of people
865
00:41:39,563 --> 00:41:41,165
waiting for my content.
866
00:41:41,298 --> 00:41:43,801
-Uh, hello? Your fans are all dead.
867
00:41:43,934 --> 00:41:46,070
-It is the last luxury item I own.
868
00:41:46,203 --> 00:41:49,139
-You know, I was just starting to admire your willpower
869
00:41:49,273 --> 00:41:50,407
and threshold for pain.
870
00:41:50,541 --> 00:41:52,142
Becoming one with the woods.
871
00:41:52,276 --> 00:41:55,980
I was even gonna show you "Windbreakers," but now...
872
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,283
-Just let me keep it, please!
873
00:41:59,416 --> 00:42:01,118
All my passwords and selfies are on here,
874
00:42:01,252 --> 00:42:03,420
and one day, the platforms will be back, and when they do,
875
00:42:03,554 --> 00:42:06,457
I'll be good to go, and, plus, my dad might call.
876
00:42:06,590 --> 00:42:07,558
-Has he called you lately?
877
00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:09,994
-Well, no, but...
878
00:42:10,127 --> 00:42:11,896
What's the last thing I need to do?
879
00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:14,632
-Come on. You're gonna love this.
880
00:42:14,765 --> 00:42:21,105
♪♪
881
00:42:21,238 --> 00:42:22,306
[ Whip cracks ]
882
00:42:22,439 --> 00:42:25,609
♪♪
883
00:42:25,743 --> 00:42:29,079
-Time to kick some past-ass.
884
00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:31,048
Pasta ass.
885
00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:33,551
N-Noodle bootle.
886
00:42:33,684 --> 00:42:36,387
You know what I mean.
887
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:44,194
♪♪
888
00:42:44,328 --> 00:42:51,769
♪♪
889
00:42:51,902 --> 00:42:54,772
-This just in -- The noodles have now incapacitated
890
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,174
all of our military bases, and radar shows
891
00:42:57,308 --> 00:43:00,611
they are now making their starch way to foreign land.
892
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:02,780
-That's completely pre-pasta-rous.
893
00:43:02,913 --> 00:43:05,215
Heh. Pasta.
894
00:43:06,917 --> 00:43:08,652
-I think what you meant to say
895
00:43:08,786 --> 00:43:11,622
was, that's tortellini pre-pasta-rous!
896
00:43:11,755 --> 00:43:14,892
[ Laughter, applause ]
897
00:43:16,827 --> 00:43:18,929
And now for an exclusive clip from Tubi's
898
00:43:19,063 --> 00:43:21,999
upcoming hit movie "Windbreakers."
899
00:43:22,132 --> 00:43:23,867
[ Imitates wind blowing ]
900
00:43:24,001 --> 00:43:26,203
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
901
00:43:26,337 --> 00:43:34,378
♪♪
902
00:43:34,511 --> 00:43:36,981
[ Stomach gurgles ]
903
00:43:37,114 --> 00:43:38,482
♪♪
904
00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:40,150
[ Fart, growl, girl screams ]
905
00:43:40,951 --> 00:43:43,087
-Well, look who done got a makeover here.
906
00:43:43,220 --> 00:43:45,856
Oh, Lord. -Hey, that's my leather outfit.
907
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,359
-Pasta ain't got a chance. -Where's the whip?
908
00:43:48,492 --> 00:43:49,660
-Halfway, what's the word?
909
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:51,895
-We're -- We're moving into Pensacola.
910
00:43:52,029 --> 00:43:53,597
That's where the signal is coming from,
911
00:43:53,731 --> 00:43:55,065
so we hope to find humans.
912
00:43:55,199 --> 00:43:56,667
-I'm Kent Trey, God damn it,
913
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,735
and let me tell you something.
914
00:43:57,868 --> 00:43:59,169
Hope?
915
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:01,639
That rhymes with "dope," which is what we are.
916
00:44:01,772 --> 00:44:02,940
Dopes headed right into a trap
917
00:44:03,073 --> 00:44:05,142
where noodles will dine on our flesh.
918
00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:07,311
And I'm not interested in becoming dinner
919
00:44:07,444 --> 00:44:08,746
for what I eat for dinner!
920
00:44:08,879 --> 00:44:11,115
-You have done nothing to help out around here.
921
00:44:11,248 --> 00:44:14,918
All you do is complain, and it's getting extremely tiresome.
922
00:44:15,052 --> 00:44:17,054
-Yeah, why don't you go take a freaking nap?
923
00:44:17,187 --> 00:44:18,889
You are on my last nerve.
924
00:44:19,023 --> 00:44:22,426
-Mary, stow it. No more killing on my boat.
925
00:44:24,461 --> 00:44:26,163
-Now, as we know,
926
00:44:26,296 --> 00:44:28,298
the noodles are fast, but they can be killed.
927
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:31,001
They usually go for the esophagus to cut off your air,
928
00:44:31,135 --> 00:44:33,037
expand your throat until it tears open,
929
00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,705
and then enter the lungs,
930
00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:36,440
exploding your arteries into a pile of diarrhea
931
00:44:36,573 --> 00:44:39,209
that would make flies throw up, and the stench from the vomit
932
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,012
is so acidic that it's like a cloud of sarin gas
933
00:44:42,146 --> 00:44:44,081
that hunts out any living thing in the vicinity,
934
00:44:44,214 --> 00:44:46,817
and it craves the pleasure of dissolving all human meat
935
00:44:46,950 --> 00:44:49,753
into a rancid gumbo of scorched humanity
936
00:44:49,887 --> 00:44:51,822
from which there is no repent!
937
00:44:51,955 --> 00:44:53,757
[ Breathes deeply ]
938
00:44:53,891 --> 00:44:55,159
- [ Clears throat ]
939
00:44:55,292 --> 00:44:57,528
Look, y'all, it's a new world out there.
940
00:44:57,661 --> 00:44:59,229
What he says is true.
941
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:02,733
Chickens fear the South 'cause of our delectable fried chicken.
942
00:45:02,866 --> 00:45:04,334
We put 'em in that hot grease.
943
00:45:04,468 --> 00:45:07,771
Pigs fear the South 'cause of our delicious barbecues
944
00:45:07,905 --> 00:45:09,273
and our cookouts.
945
00:45:09,406 --> 00:45:13,844
Now humans fear the South 'cause of the pasta.
946
00:45:13,977 --> 00:45:17,548
Evolution has moved on to a new level.
947
00:45:17,681 --> 00:45:20,851
It's a food fight to the death,
948
00:45:20,984 --> 00:45:24,788
and we are the food.
949
00:45:24,922 --> 00:45:28,192
-Rest in shifts. We land in six hours.
950
00:45:30,094 --> 00:45:32,062
[ Thunder crashes ]
951
00:45:32,196 --> 00:45:34,465
-Now, did Vermicelli's shipment come in?
952
00:45:34,598 --> 00:45:35,766
-Yep, sure did.
953
00:45:35,899 --> 00:45:37,401
Two-day delivery. He's slowing down.
954
00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:41,638
-Bobby, hit me with the cheese. I've got the sniffles.
955
00:45:41,772 --> 00:45:44,942
-You know, if we destroy every human,
956
00:45:45,075 --> 00:45:47,911
we may miss the opportunity to learn from them...
957
00:45:48,045 --> 00:45:51,281
like proper ways to construct a house...
958
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:53,217
install plumbing.
959
00:45:53,350 --> 00:45:54,451
-Humans...
960
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:55,586
[ Inhales deeply ]
961
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,888
Whew! Ahem. Oh. Oh.
962
00:45:58,021 --> 00:46:01,558
Humans are just speed bumps on our path to utopia.
963
00:46:01,692 --> 00:46:02,793
Our pastapopia!
964
00:46:02,926 --> 00:46:04,094
Write that down. -Okay.
965
00:46:04,228 --> 00:46:07,064
-We are the ruling class now, Bob.
966
00:46:07,197 --> 00:46:08,665
-♪ ...have some fun ♪ -Uh...
967
00:46:08,799 --> 00:46:12,636
-♪ You know, some girls get anything they want ♪
968
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:13,871
♪ They say they won't... ♪
969
00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:15,539
-Damn it, my daughter.
970
00:46:15,672 --> 00:46:17,241
I need to find my daughter.
971
00:46:17,374 --> 00:46:19,076
I told her I'd get her a birthday gift,
972
00:46:19,209 --> 00:46:21,845
and I've been so busy doing all of this.
973
00:46:21,979 --> 00:46:25,048
Hey, wait. Let's throw her a party. Can you set that up?
974
00:46:25,182 --> 00:46:26,683
-Sure. What's she look like?
975
00:46:26,817 --> 00:46:30,721
-You told me your mama used Emma Flour when she baked,
976
00:46:30,854 --> 00:46:35,259
so you should know damn well what she looks like!
977
00:46:35,392 --> 00:46:37,427
-Okay, you don't have to yell.
978
00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:38,929
All the yelling.
979
00:46:40,831 --> 00:46:42,466
-Welcome home, Bow Tie Squads.
980
00:46:42,599 --> 00:46:44,268
Way to kick ass in San Francisco.
981
00:46:44,401 --> 00:46:46,637
Marinara baths are heated and ready
982
00:46:46,770 --> 00:46:48,372
for soaking your tired wings.
983
00:46:48,505 --> 00:46:51,508
Your continued service of implementing Manicotti's
984
00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:52,910
deranged goal
985
00:46:53,043 --> 00:46:55,546
does not go without recognition.
986
00:46:55,679 --> 00:46:57,047
Olive oil saunas are ready
987
00:46:57,181 --> 00:46:58,982
and prepared for your enjoyment,
988
00:46:59,116 --> 00:47:00,717
and it's free cheese day.
989
00:47:00,851 --> 00:47:04,788
Here at Manicotti Kingdom, we amore your brave-iole.
990
00:47:04,922 --> 00:47:07,491
[ Thunder crashes ]
991
00:47:07,624 --> 00:47:10,294
♪♪
992
00:47:13,030 --> 00:47:14,932
-What's got you lost in thoughts?
993
00:47:15,065 --> 00:47:16,834
-I was just thinking about my dad.
994
00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:18,602
I wish he were here, but...
995
00:47:18,735 --> 00:47:20,304
-But he ain't. He's dead.
996
00:47:20,437 --> 00:47:23,173
-I mean, even if he were here, he wouldn't be really here.
997
00:47:23,307 --> 00:47:28,045
So having him not around is sort of like when he was around.
998
00:47:28,178 --> 00:47:30,280
-Smart phones done made people dumber.
999
00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:32,449
-What if you're wrong about this signal?
1000
00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:33,750
What if this is a trap?
1001
00:47:33,884 --> 00:47:35,586
-It's only a trap if you don't know about it.
1002
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:37,321
And if you think it might be a trap,
1003
00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:40,390
you're dumb enough to walk into it unprepared
1004
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,060
[Chuckles] then that's just plain dumb.
1005
00:47:43,193 --> 00:47:44,461
[ Alarm blaring ]
1006
00:47:44,595 --> 00:47:47,497
-Cover them chickens! -Incoming!
1007
00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:48,765
-Food fight!
1008
00:47:48,899 --> 00:47:51,768
Who ordered the damn spaghetti?
1009
00:47:51,902 --> 00:47:53,303
-I did it! I did it!
1010
00:47:53,437 --> 00:47:54,805
I made fire!
1011
00:47:54,938 --> 00:47:56,139
-Oh, wow!
1012
00:47:56,273 --> 00:47:58,542
That's really, really great, Emma!
1013
00:47:58,675 --> 00:48:00,744
Now, you see up here?
1014
00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,846
You see all these noodles?
1015
00:48:02,980 --> 00:48:04,281
They want to kill us.
1016
00:48:04,414 --> 00:48:06,750
It'd be awesome if you could help.
1017
00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:08,485
-Brain eaters, 2:00!
1018
00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:10,354
Now, where the hell's my damn laser arm?
1019
00:48:10,487 --> 00:48:13,223
I left it right here yesterday.
1020
00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:17,294
Whoever took my laser arm better bring it right now,
1021
00:48:17,427 --> 00:48:20,430
or you're gonna get a laser where the sun don't shine!
1022
00:48:20,564 --> 00:48:24,501
♪♪
1023
00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:27,504
-All right, everybody. Relax. I'm here.
1024
00:48:27,638 --> 00:48:29,339
Kent Trey.
1025
00:48:29,473 --> 00:48:32,442
Shit! No! My arm!
1026
00:48:34,177 --> 00:48:36,413
It's all right. I've got another one.
1027
00:48:38,982 --> 00:48:41,051
-Hey, look! Twinsies!
1028
00:48:41,184 --> 00:48:43,053
-Chub! Hurry up! -I got it!
1029
00:48:43,186 --> 00:48:44,454
-It doesn't look like you got it, but...
1030
00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:46,390
-I got it! -Stop dragging ass. Let's go!
1031
00:48:46,523 --> 00:48:48,225
-I said I got it, and I got it!
1032
00:48:48,358 --> 00:48:49,760
-Okay, well, it didn't look like you did, so I just...
1033
00:48:49,893 --> 00:48:51,461
-I'm doing the best -- I'm working as fast as I can.
1034
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:53,997
Uh! Argh!
1035
00:48:54,131 --> 00:48:56,800
Hell naw!
1036
00:48:56,934 --> 00:48:59,569
Aw! Right in the genius.
1037
00:48:59,703 --> 00:49:04,074
♪♪
1038
00:49:04,207 --> 00:49:06,543
[ Noodles screeching ]
1039
00:49:06,677 --> 00:49:08,879
Losing my breath. Ah, ugh...
1040
00:49:09,012 --> 00:49:10,047
-Chub! -Chub!
1041
00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:12,482
-Onions! Now! -What about me?!
1042
00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,384
-What about you?
1043
00:49:15,652 --> 00:49:17,087
-Hey! -Say good night, fatty!
1044
00:49:17,220 --> 00:49:18,522
-No, you idiot. -No, stop!
1045
00:49:18,655 --> 00:49:19,990
-What are you doing? -We're gonna save him.
1046
00:49:20,123 --> 00:49:21,224
-Look, he's gonna turn --
1047
00:49:21,358 --> 00:49:22,526
He's gonna turn into one of them,
1048
00:49:22,659 --> 00:49:24,161
and I'm gonna kill it to death so hard,
1049
00:49:24,294 --> 00:49:25,595
it's gonna hurt the whole time I'm killing him!
1050
00:49:25,729 --> 00:49:27,230
And I'm gonna write a song about it,
1051
00:49:27,364 --> 00:49:29,399
and it's gonna go to the top --
1052
00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:34,871
Kent Trey is not into this.
1053
00:49:35,005 --> 00:49:36,907
Help, guys. Please.
1054
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,241
This thing's coming fast!
1055
00:49:38,375 --> 00:49:40,544
Help! I'm peein' in the water here!
1056
00:49:42,112 --> 00:49:43,447
Thank you! Thank you!
1057
00:49:43,580 --> 00:49:46,650
Now, be a doll and help ol' Kent Trey up.
1058
00:49:47,617 --> 00:49:49,553
Oh, God, I'm glad we're safe now.
1059
00:49:49,686 --> 00:49:51,355
-Uh --
1060
00:49:54,091 --> 00:49:56,760
Um... Oh, well. I tried.
1061
00:49:56,893 --> 00:49:57,995
-Thanks for the "heads"-up.
1062
00:49:58,128 --> 00:50:00,063
-Oh, woop. It's a head. Ha ha.
1063
00:50:00,197 --> 00:50:02,165
I'll go on "a head" and get rid of this.
1064
00:50:02,299 --> 00:50:04,868
-He'll never get "a head"-lining gig now.
1065
00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:06,436
-[ Clears throat ]
1066
00:50:07,938 --> 00:50:11,775
I'll guess he'll "beheading" off to the great one up above.
1067
00:50:11,908 --> 00:50:13,243
-Umm... -That old kid's finally
1068
00:50:13,377 --> 00:50:14,778
"head" of the class. -Yeah.
1069
00:50:14,911 --> 00:50:17,547
-Talk about cutting your head off to spite your ego.
1070
00:50:17,681 --> 00:50:20,083
-All right, okay. -He's gonna make it!
1071
00:50:20,217 --> 00:50:21,485
-How'd you know onions would work?
1072
00:50:21,618 --> 00:50:23,887
-When I was a kid, I used to take
1073
00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:26,857
long, hot, steamy onion baths.
1074
00:50:26,990 --> 00:50:28,325
Always made me feel better.
1075
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:29,726
-[ Spits, belches ]
1076
00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:31,361
[ Spits, burps ]
1077
00:50:31,495 --> 00:50:33,397
Wow, thanks. I feel great.
1078
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:37,534
A little swollen, but overall really, really great.
1079
00:50:37,667 --> 00:50:39,469
Do I look okay?
1080
00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:40,670
-We got company!
1081
00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:43,173
It's the son-of-a-bitching pasta regatta.
1082
00:50:43,306 --> 00:50:44,841
-Oh, my God, there's too many of them.
1083
00:50:44,975 --> 00:50:48,678
-How in the hell these noodles know how to build a boat?
1084
00:50:50,013 --> 00:50:53,083
I see what they did. They took the mostaccioli,
1085
00:50:53,216 --> 00:50:56,119
made them into tubes like a pontoon.
1086
00:50:56,253 --> 00:50:58,455
Oh, my God, this is real genius.
1087
00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:00,957
This is fine craftsmanship.
1088
00:51:01,091 --> 00:51:09,833
♪♪
1089
00:51:09,966 --> 00:51:18,275
♪♪
1090
00:51:18,408 --> 00:51:20,210
-Well, well, well!
1091
00:51:20,343 --> 00:51:21,578
What do we have here?
1092
00:51:21,711 --> 00:51:23,246
-Humans, sir. That's what we have.
1093
00:51:23,380 --> 00:51:25,048
-I know what they are, Bob!
1094
00:51:25,182 --> 00:51:26,817
I used to be one, as did you.
1095
00:51:26,950 --> 00:51:27,884
-Yes, sir.
1096
00:51:28,018 --> 00:51:30,754
-So, humans, welcome to my lair!
1097
00:51:30,887 --> 00:51:32,689
[ Laughs evilly ]
1098
00:51:32,823 --> 00:51:34,925
I assume you were sailing the seas,
1099
00:51:35,058 --> 00:51:38,161
looking to build a resistance to fight me.
1100
00:51:38,295 --> 00:51:41,565
Make no mistake -- I am un-fightable,
1101
00:51:41,698 --> 00:51:45,502
and the likes of your kind will never stop the Pastalution.
1102
00:51:45,635 --> 00:51:49,806
Now, let's see what we're up against.
1103
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:52,709
[ Sniffs ] Mm...
1104
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:54,978
Filled with grease.
1105
00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:57,380
Shave him and reduce him for fuel.
1106
00:51:57,514 --> 00:52:00,784
[ Cheers and applause ]
1107
00:52:00,917 --> 00:52:04,421
Oh! Spicy.
1108
00:52:04,554 --> 00:52:06,823
Grind her into pepper flakes.
1109
00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:08,859
[ Cheers and applause ]
1110
00:52:08,992 --> 00:52:09,993
Plastic.
1111
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,528
Resin.
1112
00:52:11,661 --> 00:52:12,696
Aluminum.
1113
00:52:12,829 --> 00:52:14,798
Put him directly in the recycling bin.
1114
00:52:14,931 --> 00:52:16,133
Save the legs.
1115
00:52:16,266 --> 00:52:18,568
We can use those for our end tables.
1116
00:52:18,702 --> 00:52:21,071
And you...
1117
00:52:21,204 --> 00:52:23,140
Emma?
1118
00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:24,941
-Dad? -Dad?!
1119
00:52:25,075 --> 00:52:26,343
[ Noodles gasp ]
1120
00:52:26,476 --> 00:52:28,512
Your dad is a damn manicotti?
1121
00:52:28,645 --> 00:52:30,814
-Silence, Chubby! -Hell naw!
1122
00:52:30,947 --> 00:52:31,948
-Is that you?
1123
00:52:32,082 --> 00:52:33,316
-Look, everything's cool.
1124
00:52:33,450 --> 00:52:34,851
I've been meaning to call you, but --
1125
00:52:34,985 --> 00:52:37,220
-But you've been too busy wreaking havoc on mankind?
1126
00:52:37,354 --> 00:52:38,755
-No, no, it's not like that at all.
1127
00:52:38,889 --> 00:52:40,891
I've been -- Well, yes, it's a little bit like that.
1128
00:52:41,024 --> 00:52:43,026
I mean, I've gone a little overboard.
1129
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,394
-A little overboard?
1130
00:52:44,528 --> 00:52:46,096
-My finger's in a lot of pots.
1131
00:52:46,229 --> 00:52:49,399
One of them happens to be wreaking havoc on mankind,
1132
00:52:49,533 --> 00:52:51,535
but I'm doing a lot of other stuff, too.
1133
00:52:51,668 --> 00:52:53,970
I've been co-composing some music.
1134
00:52:54,104 --> 00:52:55,839
You heard the walking music.
1135
00:52:55,972 --> 00:52:57,240
I built a house.
1136
00:52:57,374 --> 00:52:59,543
I'm doing all of this for you, probably.
1137
00:52:59,676 --> 00:53:03,013
-You ruined my birthday party, all my friends
1138
00:53:03,146 --> 00:53:04,781
exploded into noodle bits.
1139
00:53:04,915 --> 00:53:08,451
Now we're on the run, all of our assets are gone,
1140
00:53:08,585 --> 00:53:11,655
and you know how much I love assets.
1141
00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:13,523
They tried to take my phone,
1142
00:53:13,657 --> 00:53:16,359
and you promised you'd call, and now look at you!
1143
00:53:16,493 --> 00:53:17,794
You're a frickin' noodle!
1144
00:53:17,928 --> 00:53:19,930
-Way to be a dad. Good job.
1145
00:53:20,063 --> 00:53:20,964
Really nice parenting.
1146
00:53:21,097 --> 00:53:22,032
-Excuse me!
1147
00:53:22,165 --> 00:53:23,833
This is an A-B conversation.
1148
00:53:23,967 --> 00:53:25,635
"C" your way out of it.
1149
00:53:25,769 --> 00:53:28,605
Remove them from my sight!
1150
00:53:28,738 --> 00:53:30,273
Bring her to my chambers.
1151
00:53:30,407 --> 00:53:33,777
-[ Clears throat ] And what do we say?
1152
00:53:33,910 --> 00:53:35,011
-Please.
1153
00:53:35,145 --> 00:53:36,513
Are we polite enough now?
1154
00:53:36,646 --> 00:53:39,616
God forbid we're curt around the prisoners.
1155
00:53:39,749 --> 00:53:42,419
-Young missy, if you don't mind, would you please allow me
1156
00:53:42,552 --> 00:53:44,721
to escort you to Manicotti's chamber?
1157
00:53:44,854 --> 00:53:46,556
-What's gonna happen to my friends?
1158
00:53:46,690 --> 00:53:50,060
-Well...they're probably not gonna make it,
1159
00:53:50,193 --> 00:53:51,528
but you never know.
1160
00:53:51,661 --> 00:53:54,297
Like, when a pig squeal too much, you don't know
1161
00:53:54,431 --> 00:53:56,533
if she's lovin' the mud or if she's in labor
1162
00:53:56,666 --> 00:53:59,135
or if she's lovin' the mud in labor.
1163
00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:01,271
You know?
1164
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:04,841
-Human dolts.
1165
00:54:04,975 --> 00:54:09,613
You think a gluten-free world is going to save you,
1166
00:54:09,746 --> 00:54:12,182
make you live longer?
1167
00:54:12,315 --> 00:54:15,986
The joke's on you.
1168
00:54:16,119 --> 00:54:17,921
And also you.
1169
00:54:18,054 --> 00:54:19,289
And you as well.
1170
00:54:19,422 --> 00:54:22,859
-So you are the big deal? "Manicotti?"
1171
00:54:22,993 --> 00:54:25,095
You look like a half-baked lasagna
1172
00:54:25,228 --> 00:54:28,932
that someone dropped in the gas station parking lot.
1173
00:54:29,065 --> 00:54:30,467
-Silence!
1174
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,870
Your descriptions are fictional, and I might add,
1175
00:54:34,004 --> 00:54:37,741
you'll never make good writers of books that will sell.
1176
00:54:37,874 --> 00:54:40,677
I am writing the history here!
1177
00:54:40,810 --> 00:54:45,915
Do not underestimate my power to choose your fate.
1178
00:54:46,983 --> 00:54:48,618
-Can you repeat that? We weren't listening.
1179
00:54:48,752 --> 00:54:50,654
-Yeah, I was busy looking for my shotgun.
1180
00:54:50,787 --> 00:54:52,422
Plus, we only listen to smart people,
1181
00:54:52,555 --> 00:54:53,857
and you ain't one of them.
1182
00:54:53,990 --> 00:54:55,692
-And I was wonderin' if y'all had a toilet.
1183
00:54:55,825 --> 00:54:58,428
All I ate today was this mackerel and whipped cream,
1184
00:54:58,561 --> 00:55:01,331
and, uh, it be barking at the back door.
1185
00:55:01,464 --> 00:55:02,732
You understand what I'm sayin'?
1186
00:55:02,866 --> 00:55:04,501
-The toilet is down the hall to the left,
1187
00:55:04,634 --> 00:55:07,170
and your shotgun is somewhere...
1188
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:08,805
It's somewhere.
1189
00:55:08,938 --> 00:55:10,640
Do you remember the part where I threatened your fate?
1190
00:55:10,774 --> 00:55:13,510
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard some of that. I don't know.
1191
00:55:13,643 --> 00:55:15,111
Where the toilet at again?
1192
00:55:15,245 --> 00:55:16,646
I know you just told me, man,
1193
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:18,448
but, you know, in between keeping my butt tight
1194
00:55:18,581 --> 00:55:21,518
and all that other blah, blah, blah, I forgot.
1195
00:55:21,651 --> 00:55:24,521
-The toilet is down the hall to the left.
1196
00:55:24,654 --> 00:55:27,524
I have missiles to launch, armies to form,
1197
00:55:27,657 --> 00:55:30,193
and I'm trying to bring back gluten,
1198
00:55:30,327 --> 00:55:32,996
which has been unfairly banned.
1199
00:55:33,129 --> 00:55:34,497
Let us know if you need anything.
1200
00:55:34,631 --> 00:55:36,299
Your day guard will be Steven.
1201
00:55:36,433 --> 00:55:37,834
Aah! Damn it!
1202
00:55:37,967 --> 00:55:41,538
Were you born stupid, or did you take lessons?!
1203
00:55:43,973 --> 00:55:45,342
-Okay.
1204
00:55:45,475 --> 00:55:46,710
Any response to what we just saw?
1205
00:55:46,843 --> 00:55:49,312
-That's the guy who started all this crap?
1206
00:55:49,446 --> 00:55:52,148
He's the reason God created spankings.
1207
00:55:52,282 --> 00:55:54,050
-What he needs is a home...
1208
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:55,318
with help.
1209
00:55:55,452 --> 00:55:58,121
-I'm gonna spank his ass.
1210
00:56:00,557 --> 00:56:02,225
Mmm!
1211
00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:03,360
Pastini.
1212
00:56:03,493 --> 00:56:05,662
My favorite.
1213
00:56:07,397 --> 00:56:08,832
Y'all feel the floor heatin' up?
1214
00:56:08,965 --> 00:56:11,134
-I have a bad feeling about this.
1215
00:56:11,267 --> 00:56:12,602
-Yeah, me too.
1216
00:56:12,736 --> 00:56:15,472
I think we're about to be human noodle soup.
1217
00:56:15,605 --> 00:56:19,809
[ Classical music plays, women vocalizing ]
1218
00:56:19,943 --> 00:56:28,184
♪♪
1219
00:56:28,318 --> 00:56:29,686
-Emma, hey, hey!
1220
00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:31,321
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.
1221
00:56:31,454 --> 00:56:33,089
I was busy yelling at the prisoners,
1222
00:56:33,223 --> 00:56:35,692
and all these guys need stuff all the time.
1223
00:56:35,825 --> 00:56:38,928
Did they bring any snacks or water for you?
1224
00:56:41,631 --> 00:56:44,534
What do you think of the place?
1225
00:56:44,667 --> 00:56:46,369
-I mean, what do you want me to say?
1226
00:56:46,503 --> 00:56:49,439
It's big and noodle-y.
1227
00:56:49,572 --> 00:56:52,041
-Yeah. I love space, you know.
1228
00:56:52,175 --> 00:56:54,511
Rooms where the walls are far away.
1229
00:56:54,644 --> 00:56:57,080
Hard to touch from the middle.
1230
00:56:57,213 --> 00:56:58,348
You look good.
1231
00:56:58,481 --> 00:56:59,616
Did you lose weight?
1232
00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:02,619
No, hold it. You dyed your hair.
1233
00:57:02,752 --> 00:57:03,853
-Well, I did dye my hair...
1234
00:57:03,987 --> 00:57:05,722
-Oh! -...and got a new outfit.
1235
00:57:05,855 --> 00:57:07,223
-Oh. -Oh, my God, I can make fire
1236
00:57:07,357 --> 00:57:08,458
now, and I -- -Mm.
1237
00:57:08,591 --> 00:57:10,026
-Oh, I have swords and... -Ah.
1238
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:12,662
- [ Sighs ] Actually you know what?
1239
00:57:12,796 --> 00:57:15,398
You wouldn't know because you never paid attention
1240
00:57:15,532 --> 00:57:16,933
to what I was doing. -Ah.
1241
00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:19,169
-All you ever cared about was your pasta dishes
1242
00:57:19,302 --> 00:57:20,703
and elevating your ego.
1243
00:57:20,837 --> 00:57:22,906
You just threw money my way to keep me occupied,
1244
00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:26,075
and I grew up a spoiled, self-centered girl
1245
00:57:26,209 --> 00:57:27,644
because of you.
1246
00:57:27,777 --> 00:57:29,846
-I was just taking care of you the best way I knew.
1247
00:57:29,979 --> 00:57:32,682
Look, I know you might think I've gone overboard, and...
1248
00:57:32,816 --> 00:57:34,851
I just can't stand losing
1249
00:57:34,984 --> 00:57:38,488
because of some stupid ban on gluten.
1250
00:57:38,621 --> 00:57:40,623
That's what's driving my insanity.
1251
00:57:40,757 --> 00:57:42,792
Emma, look at me.
1252
00:57:42,926 --> 00:57:46,463
Underneath all this goop and carbonara and marinara,
1253
00:57:46,596 --> 00:57:49,432
I'm still just your daddy.
1254
00:57:49,566 --> 00:57:51,100
-And I'm your daughter.
1255
00:57:51,234 --> 00:57:54,070
Shouldn't that be more important than winning pasta contests?
1256
00:57:54,204 --> 00:57:55,772
-No -- Yes, of course!
1257
00:57:55,905 --> 00:57:58,575
Children are way more important than food.
1258
00:57:58,708 --> 00:58:00,076
I mean, everyone knows that.
1259
00:58:00,210 --> 00:58:01,578
You can go a week without laughing,
1260
00:58:01,711 --> 00:58:03,179
but not a week without food.
1261
00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,515
That's why I invented Santa Claus.
1262
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,083
Hmm?
1263
00:58:07,217 --> 00:58:09,586
-You know, getting everything I ever wanted was nice.
1264
00:58:09,719 --> 00:58:12,121
But I realize now that that didn't matter.
1265
00:58:12,255 --> 00:58:13,623
None of it mattered.
1266
00:58:13,756 --> 00:58:16,626
I'm alive, and that's all that matters right now.
1267
00:58:16,759 --> 00:58:18,695
-We each survive in our own way.
1268
00:58:18,828 --> 00:58:21,865
I didn't choose this. It was a stupid accident.
1269
00:58:21,998 --> 00:58:24,133
And I want to share it with you.
1270
00:58:24,267 --> 00:58:26,269
I can turn you as well.
1271
00:58:26,402 --> 00:58:27,604
Together we can show
1272
00:58:27,737 --> 00:58:31,174
the world a gluten-filled paradise.
1273
00:58:31,307 --> 00:58:32,709
Will you join me?
1274
00:58:32,842 --> 00:58:35,712
Please, Emma, become a noodle.
1275
00:58:35,845 --> 00:58:38,014
-I love you, Dad,
1276
00:58:38,147 --> 00:58:41,851
but you are out of your frickin' mind!
1277
00:58:41,985 --> 00:58:43,653
-Damn it. Guards!
1278
00:58:43,786 --> 00:58:45,722
-What? Hey!
1279
00:58:45,855 --> 00:58:47,824
-You will be like me, Emma.
1280
00:58:47,957 --> 00:58:52,128
Exactly like me, and you will love it.
1281
00:58:52,262 --> 00:58:55,532
Take her to the Electric Pickle Pit!
1282
00:58:55,665 --> 00:58:57,600
-Gotta pee, gotta pee. -Wait!
1283
00:58:57,734 --> 00:58:59,736
Person who needs to pee, let us out!
1284
00:58:59,869 --> 00:59:00,870
-Open the door! -Oh, boy.
1285
00:59:01,004 --> 00:59:02,372
Gotta pee! -Come on, man!
1286
00:59:02,505 --> 00:59:04,641
You got the air on in here?
1287
00:59:04,774 --> 00:59:06,609
[ Urinating ]
1288
00:59:14,017 --> 00:59:16,719
[ Urinating continues ]
1289
00:59:21,691 --> 00:59:23,526
[ Urinating stops ]
1290
00:59:23,660 --> 00:59:26,262
[ Urinating continues ]
1291
00:59:36,339 --> 00:59:39,709
[ Urinating stops, toilet flushes ]
1292
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:46,049
[ Hand dryer whirring ]
1293
00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:53,656
[ Whirring stops ]
1294
00:59:53,790 --> 00:59:56,392
-God, what is going on in there?
1295
00:59:56,526 --> 00:59:59,028
[ Hand dryer whirring ]
1296
01:00:04,767 --> 01:00:07,203
[ Whirring stops ]
1297
01:00:07,337 --> 01:00:09,739
Hello?
1298
01:00:09,872 --> 01:00:11,074
-Who's in there?
1299
01:00:11,207 --> 01:00:12,775
-Oh, uh, yeah, it's -- it's -- it's us.
1300
01:00:12,909 --> 01:00:14,210
We're, uh, noodle guards.
1301
01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,446
The door won't open, and we're late for...
1302
01:00:16,579 --> 01:00:21,017
the thing that noodles do at this time of day.
1303
01:00:21,150 --> 01:00:24,220
-The hell you say. Hang on. I'll unlock it.
1304
01:00:24,354 --> 01:00:26,189
Let's see here...
1305
01:00:28,124 --> 01:00:31,060
Okay, we'll just keep, uh, tryin'.
1306
01:00:33,963 --> 01:00:36,332
Okay. Unlock...
1307
01:00:39,135 --> 01:00:41,270
-Hey, how's it going with the unlocking?
1308
01:00:41,404 --> 01:00:43,573
-Oh, it's fine. How are y'all doin'?
1309
01:00:43,706 --> 01:00:45,274
-Open the damn door, doofus!
1310
01:00:45,408 --> 01:00:47,243
-Not doing too -- too good. Um...
1311
01:00:47,377 --> 01:00:49,112
It's getting a little hard to breathe in here.
1312
01:00:49,245 --> 01:00:52,915
-Try the key that says "Prison Cell Lock."
1313
01:00:53,049 --> 01:00:55,184
I bet that'll be the one.
1314
01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:57,654
[ Lock disengages ]
1315
01:00:57,787 --> 01:01:00,189
-Aw, hell yeah, you were right!
1316
01:01:00,990 --> 01:01:02,492
-Oh! -Ohhh!
1317
01:01:02,625 --> 01:01:04,460
-Oh, God, the mackerel!
1318
01:01:04,594 --> 01:01:06,062
-They just left it here?
1319
01:01:06,195 --> 01:01:07,630
So stupid.
1320
01:01:07,764 --> 01:01:09,532
-Hey, y'all ain't no noodle guards.
1321
01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:11,100
[ Gun cocks ] -No, we're not.
1322
01:01:11,234 --> 01:01:13,002
So, will you please take us to Manicotti?
1323
01:01:13,136 --> 01:01:15,204
-Aw, brother. You ain't gonna like him.
1324
01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:16,539
Uh...
1325
01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:20,376
-Not everybody's your buddy in buddyland, buddy.
1326
01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:21,744
-He's probably in the hangar
1327
01:01:21,878 --> 01:01:23,413
waiting to launch the gluten missiles.
1328
01:01:23,546 --> 01:01:26,449
-Launch the what, you say? -Yeah, he's got this big idea
1329
01:01:26,582 --> 01:01:28,484
to re-gluten the food chain.
1330
01:01:28,618 --> 01:01:29,686
-Hurry up, Chub!
1331
01:01:29,819 --> 01:01:31,354
-You can't rush this!
1332
01:01:31,487 --> 01:01:34,023
Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord, this is it!
1333
01:01:34,157 --> 01:01:35,858
-So, my name's Bob. -Ugh!
1334
01:01:35,992 --> 01:01:38,461
-What's y'alls? -I'm comin' home, Mama!
1335
01:01:42,398 --> 01:01:43,800
-Hey!
1336
01:01:43,933 --> 01:01:46,235
What?
1337
01:01:46,369 --> 01:01:47,336
Ew, gross.
1338
01:01:47,470 --> 01:01:49,172
What the hell are you doing to me?
1339
01:01:49,305 --> 01:01:50,740
Stop it. What?
1340
01:01:50,873 --> 01:01:52,375
Ew.
1341
01:01:52,508 --> 01:01:53,810
No, please!
1342
01:01:53,943 --> 01:01:55,478
-Attention, Noodloids.
1343
01:01:55,611 --> 01:01:59,649
It is time for your Mental Wellness Moment.
1344
01:01:59,782 --> 01:02:01,517
Assume the position.
1345
01:02:01,651 --> 01:02:04,487
Relax and breathe deeply.
1346
01:02:04,620 --> 01:02:08,524
Feel yourself becoming limp and overcooked.
1347
01:02:08,658 --> 01:02:13,429
Focus on your inner self and wish the stress away.
1348
01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:17,667
Breathe in. Breathe out.
1349
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:21,671
Breathe in. Breathe out.
1350
01:02:21,804 --> 01:02:24,407
There you go.
1351
01:02:24,540 --> 01:02:25,508
♪♪
1352
01:02:25,641 --> 01:02:26,642
[ Noodle snores ]
1353
01:02:26,776 --> 01:02:28,311
[ Door opens ]
1354
01:02:28,444 --> 01:02:29,812
-Holy macaroni.
1355
01:02:29,946 --> 01:02:31,481
Is that a ship made of noodles?
1356
01:02:31,614 --> 01:02:35,752
-It's a ship made of noodles, but what kind of ship?
1357
01:02:35,885 --> 01:02:37,620
Do it has decks? Does it have floors?
1358
01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:39,355
Does it have shuffleboard on it?
1359
01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:40,890
-It looks like they're arming it.
1360
01:02:41,023 --> 01:02:42,291
-I think they're arming it.
1361
01:02:42,425 --> 01:02:44,494
-Please stop repeating everything I say.
1362
01:02:44,627 --> 01:02:47,263
Halfway, what are those? -Gluten missiles.
1363
01:02:47,396 --> 01:02:49,899
G2HO57 suspended in sucrose
1364
01:02:50,032 --> 01:02:51,701
with electromagnetic charges.
1365
01:02:51,834 --> 01:02:53,402
-How do you know that?
1366
01:02:53,536 --> 01:02:56,072
-Well, it says it right there on the missile, shit-for-brains.
1367
01:02:56,205 --> 01:02:57,540
-That's what I was trying to tell you.
1368
01:02:57,673 --> 01:02:59,242
And then you trying to just take credit.
1369
01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:00,877
That's what you always do, Halfway.
1370
01:03:01,010 --> 01:03:02,478
-No, don't stop.
1371
01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:05,448
I'm just gonna go make a plan to blow this shit up.
1372
01:03:05,581 --> 01:03:08,384
-I saw it, but then you gonna just open your big ol' mouth,
1373
01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,553
like you always know everything.
1374
01:03:10,686 --> 01:03:17,560
♪♪
1375
01:03:17,693 --> 01:03:24,567
♪♪
1376
01:03:24,700 --> 01:03:31,574
♪♪
1377
01:03:31,707 --> 01:03:32,608
-Aah! Dad!
1378
01:03:32,742 --> 01:03:33,810
-Oh, hi.
1379
01:03:33,943 --> 01:03:35,845
It's you. Emma.
1380
01:03:35,978 --> 01:03:37,713
-Hiii...there.
1381
01:03:37,847 --> 01:03:41,417
-Umm, where are you going? Why aren't you a noodle?
1382
01:03:41,551 --> 01:03:43,419
I thought we were putting you in that pickle thing.
1383
01:03:43,553 --> 01:03:45,822
-Oh, yeah. That was, like, ridiculously easy
1384
01:03:45,955 --> 01:03:47,156
to get out of. -Damn it!
1385
01:03:47,290 --> 01:03:49,025
-Dad, you can't re-gluten the world.
1386
01:03:49,158 --> 01:03:51,027
-Pretty sure I'm -- -Your plan is insane.
1387
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:53,196
Tell me how to reverse this.
1388
01:03:53,329 --> 01:03:56,232
-Oh, no, yeah, yeah, there's no reversing this magic.
1389
01:03:56,365 --> 01:03:59,268
I am 100% this way for life,
1390
01:03:59,402 --> 01:04:02,638
but, truth be told, I'm kind of digging it.
1391
01:04:02,772 --> 01:04:04,574
-Well, you know what?
1392
01:04:04,707 --> 01:04:06,075
That's stupid.
1393
01:04:06,209 --> 01:04:09,045
-You would slice your own father with a shoe knife?
1394
01:04:09,178 --> 01:04:13,816
-What stands before me is not my father.
1395
01:04:13,950 --> 01:04:15,718
-I bought you those shoes.
1396
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:20,022
-Gluten missiles engaged and ready for launch.
1397
01:04:20,156 --> 01:04:22,625
-You know what? I really have to go address this.
1398
01:04:22,758 --> 01:04:25,061
Uh, let's remember where we left off.
1399
01:04:25,194 --> 01:04:26,662
So that was, you pulled it on me,
1400
01:04:26,796 --> 01:04:29,765
I questioned if you would, and then you said
1401
01:04:29,899 --> 01:04:31,434
I wasn't your father anymore.
1402
01:04:31,567 --> 01:04:33,903
Let's just put a pin in it, and we'll get back to it, okay?
1403
01:04:34,036 --> 01:04:36,873
Mwah. Okay, bye. Love you. Daddy loves you.
1404
01:04:37,006 --> 01:04:38,674
-Halfway, I'll need you to puncture
1405
01:04:38,808 --> 01:04:40,076
those fuel tanks under the plane.
1406
01:04:40,209 --> 01:04:42,144
The fuel will spread to those propane tanks.
1407
01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:44,447
And, Chub, you run an electric cable
1408
01:04:44,580 --> 01:04:46,215
from the propane to the junction box.
1409
01:04:46,349 --> 01:04:48,484
I'll connect that to the satellite antenna on the roof.
1410
01:04:48,618 --> 01:04:50,186
The storm will provide the spark,
1411
01:04:50,319 --> 01:04:52,722
and we'll "Back to the Future" this bitch.
1412
01:04:52,855 --> 01:04:54,056
-I'm goin' in to wet the place.
1413
01:04:54,190 --> 01:04:55,558
-Do me a favor -- Don't get killed.
1414
01:04:55,691 --> 01:04:57,927
-I've been killed before. If it happens again,
1415
01:04:58,060 --> 01:04:58,961
I won't notice.
1416
01:04:59,095 --> 01:05:00,496
-Stay noodle-y.
1417
01:05:00,630 --> 01:05:01,964
-♪ Ka-boom ♪
1418
01:05:02,098 --> 01:05:03,099
[ Ting! ]
1419
01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:04,734
-Uhh, okay.
1420
01:05:04,867 --> 01:05:06,102
Weirdo.
1421
01:05:06,235 --> 01:05:08,671
Shit's about to get real.
1422
01:05:08,804 --> 01:05:11,674
♪♪
1423
01:05:11,807 --> 01:05:13,709
[ Thunder crashes ]
1424
01:05:13,843 --> 01:05:15,411
[ Electricity crackles ]
1425
01:05:16,946 --> 01:05:17,914
Mary! Over your shoulder!
1426
01:05:18,047 --> 01:05:19,081
[ Noodle roars ]
1427
01:05:19,215 --> 01:05:21,617
Incoming!
1428
01:05:21,751 --> 01:05:23,119
-Holy shit!
1429
01:05:23,252 --> 01:05:25,021
You've gotta be "squidding" me!
1430
01:05:25,154 --> 01:05:26,789
♪♪
1431
01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:28,257
-Aah!
1432
01:05:34,997 --> 01:05:37,166
How's it going? -"Squid" pro quo.
1433
01:05:37,300 --> 01:05:39,735
I'll thank you after we blow this place up.
1434
01:05:41,203 --> 01:05:43,039
[ Ship approaches ]
1435
01:05:43,172 --> 01:05:45,007
-Whoo-hoo! Look what I found!
1436
01:05:45,141 --> 01:05:46,575
Y'all need a ride?
1437
01:05:46,709 --> 01:05:48,010
-What the...
1438
01:05:48,144 --> 01:05:49,912
Stop them, Al Dente Bob!
1439
01:05:50,046 --> 01:05:52,848
Please!
1440
01:05:52,982 --> 01:05:54,116
-You too, Bob! Hop in.
1441
01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:55,451
It's a fast-moving noodle.
1442
01:05:55,584 --> 01:05:57,787
-You're gonna leave me? -Looks like it.
1443
01:05:57,920 --> 01:05:59,755
-I said, "Please," Bob.
1444
01:05:59,889 --> 01:06:01,590
-These folks are nice.
1445
01:06:01,724 --> 01:06:03,492
You're so mean.
1446
01:06:05,761 --> 01:06:08,497
-Emma. You're just gonna leave me, too?
1447
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:10,166
-Yep!
1448
01:06:10,299 --> 01:06:12,234
See you later!
1449
01:06:14,603 --> 01:06:16,672
-Nooooooooooooo!
1450
01:06:16,806 --> 01:06:19,642
[ Explosion ]
1451
01:06:30,987 --> 01:06:32,121
-You did the right thing.
1452
01:06:32,254 --> 01:06:34,657
Blowing him up was our only option.
1453
01:06:34,790 --> 01:06:37,560
I mean, he was a noodle.
1454
01:06:37,693 --> 01:06:39,895
-We knocked out the core. That's what matters.
1455
01:06:40,029 --> 01:06:43,933
We still got a whole world out there full of them noodles.
1456
01:06:44,066 --> 01:06:45,568
-What are we gonna with this guy?
1457
01:06:45,701 --> 01:06:49,171
Uh, I think we should boil his ass up and eat him.
1458
01:06:49,305 --> 01:06:51,207
-You take one step outta line,
1459
01:06:51,340 --> 01:06:54,977
the last thing you'll see is that stuffed bear.
1460
01:06:55,111 --> 01:06:56,045
And his name...
1461
01:06:56,178 --> 01:06:58,481
is Rowdy.
1462
01:06:58,614 --> 01:07:01,250
-I can be cool.
1463
01:07:01,384 --> 01:07:02,885
-Hold on. Where are you going?
1464
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:05,955
-This way. We got work to do...
1465
01:07:06,088 --> 01:07:07,323
and noodles to kill.
1466
01:07:07,456 --> 01:07:10,059
[ Heavy metal music plays ]
1467
01:07:10,192 --> 01:07:11,794
♪♪
1468
01:07:11,927 --> 01:07:13,796
[ Man shouts indistinctly ]
1469
01:07:13,929 --> 01:07:17,333
♪♪
1470
01:07:17,466 --> 01:07:19,735
[ Man shouting indistinctly ]
1471
01:07:19,869 --> 01:07:25,007
♪♪
1472
01:07:25,141 --> 01:07:30,279
♪♪
1473
01:07:30,413 --> 01:07:32,481
-♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1474
01:07:32,615 --> 01:07:35,184
♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1475
01:07:35,317 --> 01:07:37,219
♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1476
01:07:37,353 --> 01:07:38,921
♪ Welcome to a new age ♪
1477
01:07:39,055 --> 01:07:41,257
-♪ Hiding in the dark, waiting for the right time ♪
1478
01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:43,492
♪ Dead flower coming back to life ♪
1479
01:07:43,626 --> 01:07:45,694
♪ Hiding in the dark, waiting for the right time ♪
1480
01:07:45,828 --> 01:07:48,798
♪ To join the pastacolypse ♪♪
1481
01:07:48,931 --> 01:07:51,033
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
1482
01:07:51,167 --> 01:07:53,069
[ Gull crying in distance ]
1483
01:07:53,202 --> 01:08:02,678
♪♪
1484
01:08:02,812 --> 01:08:12,121
♪♪
1485
01:08:12,254 --> 01:08:14,190
[ Man shouting indistinctly ]
1486
01:08:14,323 --> 01:08:18,194
♪♪
97258
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