Original subtitles

[bright music]

Downloaded from YTS.BZ

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ

[Announcer] Undefeated prospect Money-Montez Sheffield

faces the longest reigning heavyweight champion

in boxing history, Randy The Body Stretcher Bowers.

The fight...

...of the century.

[thunder crashing]

-[crowd cheering] -[muffled hip-hop music]

[Commentator] This fight is brought to you by Rug Pool'd,

the fastest growing app in crypto.

And Sam's Spiked Seltzer.

Drink like a teen!

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for.

-Introducing first... -Woo-hoo!

[Commentator] Fighting out of the blue corner

wearing two bald eagles as trunks...

-Woo, hoo, hoo! -Yeah, Money!

The challenger,

holding a professional record of 27 wins,

zero defeats and six hoes,

presenting the pride of Jacksonburg, Florgia!

Money Montez Sheffield!

[crowd cheering]

And his opponent,

fighting out of the red corner,

the reigning, defending, undisputed,

undefeated heavyweight champion of the world,

Randy "The Body Stretcher" Bowers!

You've got this, bro.

I already put it out into the universe.

That's like planets and stars and shit.

Aw man, I appreciate that.

Now the only thing the universe will give ya is syphilis.

Ask them brothers in Tuskegee.

I need you to focus, Montez.

And after you win, we're gonna get lit!

I got us a section at Club Queef.

I know a guy.

He knows Mr. Queef.

-Uh, uh, uh! -[camera shutter clicks]

-Oh! -[smacking]

Keep your eyes on the prize!

Money and legacy.

That's all that matters.

Everything else is just noise.

[Montez] But Granny, Myboy is just showing me some love.

Love is currency for poor people.

Feelings don't pay the bills.

Never have, never will.

You heard me?

-[bell ringing] -[tense music]

[Crowd Member] Beat him dead!

[grunting]

Well, bust a move.

[dramatic music]

[crowd gasping]

[loud, dramatic thud]

One... Two...

Get up so I can knock you down.

-Nah. -Nah?

Yeah, nah.

What you mean, "nah"?

You can't "nah" me.

I spent my whole life dreaming of this moment.

Can't do it.

-Come on! -Nope.

Three!

-Why not? -Because you are a bad person.

[crowd gasping]

He is making a good point.

Then kick my ass!

I wish it was that simple.

I'm a role model.

[Body Stretcher] Kids look up to me.

Woke corporations back me.

If I break bread with a guy like you,

that would make me complicit in your unacceptable behavior.

Four!

A guy like me?

Yeah, a guy like you.

[funky music]

-[spring noise] -Whoopsie.

-Oh, my bad. -[spring noise]

Hey, hey, Max.

I don't have that answer. I'm not black, okay?

I'm Money Montez.

[funky music continues]

[protestors chanting]

[thudding]

[funky music continues]

[flight attendants screaming]

Hello?

Is anyone there?

I... I hear movement.

[rattling can]

We ain't scrapping 'cause of that?

After six months of negotiations,

press conferences, training camps, and weight cuts,

I'm condemning your ass live on pay-per-view.

Because I wanted to make a statement.

Eight, nine!

Clean up your act, Montez.

You're an embarrassment to the boxing community.

Ten! It's over.

He's out.

If you forfeit the belt, how are people gonna know

I'm the true champ?

A true champ is measured by what he does

when the world isn't watching.

You did this in front of all of 'em.

It's 40 cameras out there.

You not thinking straight, man.

Both our legacies are on the line.

See the difference between me and you is,

I'm willing to make a sacrifice to fight for what's right!

[crowd cheering]

Are you?

[echoing]

[crowd jeering]

This ain't fair.

I want a rematch!

I'll tell you what, prove to me you're a good person

and I'll give you one.

Until then, my hands are tied.

Hey Earl, get me out these damn gloves.

[Commentator] And new heavy- weight champion of the world,

Money Montez Sheffield!

[crowd jeering]

I agree with y'all.

I ain't the true champ.

This belt don't mean nothing to me.

I'm not the true champ. This belt means nothing!

[crowd jeering]

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Boo!

Go back home!

-[crowd jeering] -[bell ringing]

[funky music]

Not until I earn it.

Bro, why aren't you lit?

Be honest, do you think I'm a good person?

Bro, bro, bro.

You're like the goodest person I know.

Who else would give me an accounting job

with zero experience?

You always know the right thing to say.

That's why you my boy.

[both] Uh, uh, ah, ah, scurt!

[micturating]

And that's why you my girl.

You play by your own rules, just like me.

God damn, I love y'all!

The hell you just say?

Nothing.

I'm old as hell, I ain't old as shit.

I said I love 'em.

[Reporter] Champ, hey, over here!

Champ!

How many times I got to warn you about having feelings?

But Myboy and Mygirl are my friends.

It's a cold world, Money.

And if you want to survive,

then you've got to be the coldest.

I'm talking Nino Brown, Scarface, Lea Michele.

These people don't love you.

They love what you have to offer.

And they'll jump ship as soon

as something better comes their way.

Granny, you trippin.

You think the people I love would really abandon me?

They always do!

They always do.

[clearing throat]

Now you gonna rematch "The Body Stretcher" and whoop him.

And after that you'll be the true champ.

Your money will double and your loved ones

will have no where better to go.

You hear me?

Now how can I prove to The Body Stretcher

that I'm a good person?

Oh, I could just copy what he does online.

That's where everybody go to flex.

Damn.

He ain't got no hoes on here.

Hold up, what's this?

[ethereal chorus]

Big Bruhs of America?

Good people doing good things.

Oh, and they give out trophies?

Okay, bet.

[triumphal music]

Wait 'til they get a load of me.

[crunching and splashing]

Oh!

[groaning]

I don't need a fuckin' ID!

I'm Money Montez Sheffield.

Money Montez Sheffield?

Yeah, fool.

I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.

Kind of.

I thought "The Body Stretcher" was the champ?

You beat him?

Let me check your Wikipedia.

Uh-huh, okay.

Wow, nice, nice.

Oo.

What?

It says here you let Jake Paul say the N-word.

Man, that white boy cool.

Uh-huh.

Big Bruh is a mentorship program, Mr. Sheffield.

We pair under privileged kids with adults

who need a reality check and together

you make the community a better place.

Now, when you looked you up online,

I saw you were a sick, sick man

and there is no way in hell I would ever pair you up

with one of my kids.

For free.

Now that I'm taken care of,

what do you want?

That trophy.

If I win Big Bruh of the month,

then Body Stretcher will see I'm a better person than him

and have no choice but to give me a rematch.

How much?

[jingling change]

I can be bought,

but that spray painted piece of plastic must be earned.

It's worth a couple dollars.

Man, take this money.

Leverage is priceless.

If you want to win, you've got to play by my rules.

Fuck that!

Money Montez plays by his own rules.

Guess you'll never be the true champ.

[ethereal chorus]

[grunting]

Fine.

Now, Mr. Sheffield,

have you ever done charity before?

Of course, every year I give thousands of dollars

to that, something, something awareness thing.

Well, this thing is a bit different,

and since you're in a crunch, I'll make it easy for you.

All you've gotta do is make this poor girl happy

in the next two days.

And Big Bruh of the month is yours.

Easy.

I make broke bitches happy all the time.

[squeaking swing]

[sighing]

[children giggling]

Mr. Sheffield, Nikki.

Nikki, Mr. Sheffield.

My friend Louie over here said you were looking

for a a big bruh.

Nah.

Nah?

Yeah, nah.

I'm not going anywhere with no grown man,

who walks around in basketball shorts.

Well, fuck you too, lonely-ass girl.

This is Valenciaga.

Excuse us Mr. Sheffield.

Hey, talk to me.

I'm tired of you bringing me these chumps, Louie.

Look, school just banned critical race theory

and now I'm failing math, which doesn't make any sense.

But you know, public school.

You get what you pay for.

What's really going on?

I'm done with Big Bruhs who aren't serious

about making the community a better place.

You've known Mr. Sheffield for two seconds.

I've been here for five years.

I know a chump when I see one.

And I don't have time to play any more, Louie.

Racism, gun violence, poverty,

the earth's got what, three years left?

Everything sucks.

Nobody cares and I'm tired of it.

I want to be the change I want to see.

And that starts with a Big Bruh

who's here for the right reasons.

I understand.

But maybe if you didn't care so much.

That's selfish.

I ain't selfish.

You're always such a negative Nancy.

Sometimes being selfish means being happy.

Don't you want to be happy?

Heck, don't you want to have friends?

[children giggling]

He's right, Marissa.

I want to be happy and I want to have friends.

Like, real people friends.

But I still want to be me.

Be honest, do I care too much?

But if I stop caring, then who else will?

Name one time I've ever been able to count on someone else.

Mr. Penguin doesn't count.

He's not real.

[sobbing]

Hey, Nikki.

Are you okay?

[Reporter] Champ, champ, over here!

Hey, champ!

Who's that girl?

What's happening?

For some strange reason, I feel good about myself.

That's clout.

It's what you get when you kick it with someone famous.

I didn't know he was famous.

That changes everything.

It's for the community.

With his platform I could make the world a better place.

So what do ya say?

I say...

I'm Nikki Cooper and I'm honored to have you as my Big Bruh.

First things first.

Custom handshake!

Woo-hoo.

[chuckling]

Scurt!

[Reporter] Over here, Montez!

-Champ! -Money, Money, Money.

[light music]

[glint]

Whatever you're selling, I ain't buying.

The name's Darius.

I'm here for boxing lessons.

Let me see your jab.

Okay, get ready then.

[snapping]

[Darius] Ah!

[snapping]

Boy, I've got toilet paper tougher than you.

And I only use the single ply.

Please, please, please.

My dad hits my mom and I want you to teach me

how to kick his butt.

That is terrible.

Yeah, it's bad, it's real bad.

Your mama must got a smart mouth, huh?

[dramatic music]

Don't you talk about my mama!

You don't talk about [yelling]!

This kid is the next Money Montez!

[Darius] Wuaahh!

This better be electric.

My carbon footprint is zero.

You got some small feet.

My carbon footprint is a 15.

I'm talking about climate change you dope!

It doesn't worry you that a hurricane happens every day?

This is the only Zipperooni

in the US with a flood package.

My shit exclusive.

[heavenly chorus]

I am not getting in that emission-spewing death trap.

[Louie Flashback] Don't you wanna be happy?

Don't you wanna have friends?

Have friends?

[echoing]

Have friends.

Ugh.

I know how stubborn you can be.

Fine.

Who the hell are they?

That's Myboy and that's Mygirl.

They're my best friends.

They're not your friends.

They're your entourage.

Nah, they solid.

You completely wrong about them.

The money grubbing yes-man and the nonchalant supermodel?

Yeah, they're definitely members of your entourage.

Nope, that's Myboy and that's Mygirl.

Well then tell me, what are their names?

That's Myboy.

And that's Mygirl.

Boy, I am not about to do this all day with you.

They go or I go.

You don't have to take her crap.

You're Money Montez!

[sighing]

[spraying]

Listen, guys.

No! I'd die without you, bro.

-I'll be back for y'all. -No!

As soon as I get what I want.

On God.

Can I at least have something to remember you by?

Sure, anything.

Just promise you won't move on

if anything better comes your way.

This...

[sniffing]

Helps.

Thanks for the money, Money.

Are you gonna be okay without me?

Let's go!

[smacking]

Hello? I'm not getting any younger here.

Friends my ass.

Ready for the best day ever?

[nervous giggling]

Yo! Slow down!

On Martin Luther King Boulevard?

Uh, yeah, no.

[upbeat jazz music]

What are you doing? Hello!

You just passed the parking lot

for the Planned Parenthood Picnic.

We're doing something fun first.

I promise you're gonna love it, friend.

F... f... friend?

Friends, friends, friends.

Yeah, okay.

Those bastards should have wore a condom.

Let's go, friend!

[screeching tires]

Ah!

Just a little bit further.

[grunting]

-Bro, really? -What?

[people groaning]

-Montez! -[Man] Ow! My wrist!

What?

You stepped on those guys.

Guys? What guys?

Them.

[ethereal music]

Who!

Bro.

Bro, you can't see homeless people?

Hey, I fought in the war.

Home less?

What's that?

[whack]

Get off of them!

Just because these men have fallen on hard times

does not make them any less human.

Then what do I do?

I want you to give them money.

Seriously, joke's over.

You had your little fun.

Give 'em money, give 'em money.

Give them money!

Hey, all right little scraps, okay, kay, kay!

Where they at?

Warmer.

-Warmer! -[poof]

[cash register sound]

[cash register sound]

[woman screaming]

[splashing]

We did a good thing.

That woman was a capitalist ignorant

to our nation's growing wealth gap.

I bet she knows now!

[gasping]

Oh my god!

Princess Plaza!

[carnival music]

Is it closed?

Where's everybody at?

I rented it out for the day.

Even employees.

We can make them fight if you want.

[smacking]

What a waste of money.

You could have bought every kid at my school

a bullet-proof backpack.

But no.

Montez wouldn't be caught dead standing in a line.

Princess Plaza is the happiest place in the universe.

[crunch]]

I figured if it was just us here,

we'd get all the happiness that this place makes.

Wow, that's sweet.

No one's ever cared about my feelings.

I love feelings.

Matter of fact, let's take a picture

of our happy feelings right now.

[princesses giggling]

Not so fast, white girls.

We want a picture with Princess Chocolate.

[Princesses] Aw!

Oh man.

I forgot she was a gecko the whole movie.

[Together] Cheese!

[funky music]

Control it!

You're too emotional.

Wuahh!

Feelings don't pay the bills.

Oof.

What happened?

You were locked in the zone.

Boy, you got something special.

I do? For real?

Yes, it's called, trauma.

Trauma?

And if you exploit trauma, it can make you very rich.

But only if you know how to control it.

Otherwise, it will ruin your life.

How do I control it then?

You take all your feelings

and you just bury them shits deep.

Why would I wanna do that?

Feelings are distractions that can lead to pain.

And that's bad for business.

But if you learn how to cut 'em off,

you can be rich.

[Darius] I don't want any of that.

I just wanna save my mama from my dad.

If you ask me, she's getting what she deserves.

Take it back! Take it back!

We have a bright future together.

[spitting]

Nice.

[heavy breathing]

Must ruin life.

Ah!

You're no good to me in jail, Darius!

I'm thinking about buying property down here.

Don't you talk about my mama!

Ah!

[sirens wailing]

Police, freeze!

You think I'm scared?

Shit.

-[Darius] Bring it! -[Officer] Get him!

Let's go!

[Police] Hands on your head.

Granny has got your back, baby.

[Officer] Now! -No, that ain't it.

God damn it.

Photos?

Jamell, come here and help me find

the damn camera on this thing!

Jamell!

Carlos!

Tell Jamell to come help me find

the camera on this damn thing.

[electronic beeping]

[Darius shouting]

[Granny] Get off that boy!

Y'all ain't gotta do him like that.

What's your badge number?

[Protestors] Black lives matter.

Black lives matter!

Today was the best day ever!

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!

I'm glad I could make you happy.

Woo-hoo!

Yeah!

Vegas, baby!

Woo-hoo!

Hey Montez, what's Vegas?

A place where you can do anything you want

and get away with it.

Unless you're OJ Simpson.

Who's that?

He's a great friend of mine.

Hey, Montez.

Call me Money.

All my friends call me Money.

Why?

Because I'm wrapped up like a mother fucker.

That is so dumb.

Well, what do your friends call you?

Uh, um...

I hate nicknames.

I'll just call you Montez.

All right, fine with me.

Unless you think we're friends.

Then, you know.

I think we're friends.

Really?

Sure, we're wearing friendship bracelets.

And got matching neck tattoos.

[magic piano glissando]

Wow, I've never had a friend before.

Everyone says I'm a negative Nancy.

Nobody likes me.

Not even my parents.

That's why they left me at the orphanage.

You know, I've never told anyone this,

but when I was younger...

[ominous music]

[Dad] Come here, bitch.

[shattering]

Clean this shit up.

Montez, please!

You think I'm my father?

[smacking]

Ah!

Get out!

[funky music]

And that is how it went down.

Hello!?

You didn't say crap.

You just zoned out.

I've been steering this car for like 30 seconds.

[Nikki] Whoa!

-[honking] -[crashing]

My bad. Good looking out.

So, since we're friends, what's my nickname?

Um, it's Happy.

Your nickname is Happy.

You're Money, I'm Happy.

We're friends. I like that.

Now, when we get back to Big Bruh,

you make sure you tell Louie.

[siren wailing]

Oh no, the cops. We're dead meat.

[Nikki] Go, go!

I'm not trying to end up on a T-shirt.

Man, why do cops get such a bad rap?

All they do when they pull ya over

is ask ya for a selfie.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Lord, father God, don't be Southern.

Don't be Southern, don't be Southern.

[radio chatter]

[gun cocks]

Get out of that fancy car, black mother f--

[shimmering]

Ha, ha, ha.

I'll be damned.

Money Montez.

Officer Ray, what's up?

How's it hanging?

Well, for a second there I thought you were a rapper.

What are you doing around here?

Don't you know we over police this area?

As you should.

People-of-color live here.

They probably sell cocaine.

[shimmering]

Heh, heh, heh.

And who might you be, little lady?

I don't talk to cops.

I thought you don't talk to cops.

I thought you had a body cam.

I could kill you and get away scot free.

You see what I did there?

You should see your face.

Oh, he's scaring me!

[chuckling]

Officer Ray is cool.

He's just from a different time.

Well, anywhoo, I got tax dollars to waste

and minorities to harass for no reason.

Oh, I almost forgot my selfie.

Be safe, my colored hero!

You too, you gentle, brave officer of the law.

What the hell was that?

What?

You over here shuckin' and jivin' for the cops.

You can't be black and like police.

That's like being black and liking mayonnaise.

First of all, I'm not black, I'm Money Montez.

You're wrong.

You're black.

And your an embarrassment to the black community.

Hey, what'd I do?

[police siren]

I don't care how happy he made me.

I can't be friends with a guy like that.

You know, that's right.

I can still use his platform

to make the world a better place.

Right.

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Okay, now you're getting too preachy.

Relax.

[screeching tires]

Happy, please.

Don't happy me, I ain't happy.

Give me one more day and we'll do anything you want.

Anything!

Anything?

Anything.

Tomorrow, you and I,

we gonna end police brutality for good.

Police?

Brutality?

Oh my god.

I think you're just making up shit, but, oh, okay.

Yeah, sure.

[Protestors] Black lives matter!

Black lives matter!

Black lives matter!

Black lives matter! Black lives matter!

Black lives matter!

Black lives matter!

[Granny] How he gonna keep still if you keep tazing him?

I would jump in, but somebody got to hold the camera.

Hey granny, why are all those people outside?

And how'd I get all these bruises?

Who are you, the police?

Sunday is rest day, child.

Cop a squat.

[Announcer] Welcome back to "A Shot at Love"

with Billy Jitterson.

Oh, I love, love.

My name's Billy Jitterson.

A lot of people know me as the BLM protest shooter.

But really, I'm just a kid looking for love.

And I'll sue your ass if you make fun of me.

[light music]

[crunching]

Whoa!

[groaning]

I'm impressed.

No one's ever managed day two with Nikki.

Not even her parents.

Ha, burn.

She told me what happened yesterday

and she showed me this.

Congratulations.

Oh my god, I won!

I did it!

I'm Big Bruh of the month!

Now I can get my rematch with The Body Stretcher

and cement my place in boxing history.

That's the invite for tonight's ceremony.

[record scratching]

What?

Not the actual award?

Ugh.

[revving engine]

I have a hard time believing every cop is bad.

That's because you get hit in the head for a living.

But cops put it all on the line to keep us safe.

I mean, who am I supposed to call

the next time I need a witness silenced?

Or a DUI covered up?

Boy, shut up and give me your phone.

I want you to post a video condemning

that racist cop who tried to kill us yesterday.

Montez Sheffield, tell the people what happened to us

off of MLK and Main last night.

[explosion]

My sponsors hate when I get political.

You think a company that sells ball trimmers

cares what you put online?

It's their motto.

The Nutwhacker is the biggest supporter

of police departments across America.

And because of them, I have more blind followers

than Jesus Christ.

I love me some Jesus Christ.

But I want you to be more like

the Woke Panther.

Legend has it, Woke Panther was fired from his job

where he made millions of dollars

all because he wanted to bring awareness

to the injustices in our country.

Today, he's a fearless hero

who's not afraid to fight for what's right.

And he always, always

uses the correct pronouns.

Man, what's Woke Panther got that I ain't got?

[swallowing]

Humility, empathy, integrity.

I don't know who Woke Panther is,

but I know he's a good person.

Bet he ain't no world champion.

Are you?

Well, well, you know the way boxing...

The way my um...

Duh, um, uh, uh...

[scoffing]

That's right, punk.

I looked you up.

I know all your business.

The gross allegations.

Your tainted legacy.

Your beef with "The Body Stretcher."

Which is crazy, by the way,

because that dude stay flexing.

I know, right?

The Body Stretcher is too righteous.

-He comes off fake. -Word.

The Woke Panther...

He's the real deal.

[tense music]

[Protestors] Black lives matter.

[Counter Protestors] All lives matter.

[Protestors] Black lives matter.

[Counter Protestors] All lives matter.

I don't get it, they're saying the same thing.

No.

The people in the black shirts hate police brutality.

And the people with the red hats love police brutality.

-All lives matter. -Black lives matter.

It's time you use your clout for something good.

When your followers see you're fighting

for social injustice, they'll be inspired to do the same.

Black lives matter!

All lives matter!

Blood and gravel!

[shouting]

Nope.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, my sponsors watch my every move.

I could lose a lot of money

if they catch me not supporting cops.

If you want to be a true champ,

you're going to have to make a sacrifice.

“Sacrifice”?

I don't even know where to start.

Usually my trainer shows me how to do things first.

Ugh! Fine!

But just this once.

People on both sides!

This is Marissa.

She's an advocate for human rights

and represents everything I want to be.

She's smart, driven, honest, brave, and super hot!

Please accept my priceless doll

as a token of peace and don't stand in our way,

but join us on our march for equality!

[uplifting music]

It's not that black lives don't matter.

But when you say it out loud,

it makes our lives feel left out.

Which, in turn, I guess, makes us feel inferior.

Yeah, I guess.

Right? That's what it's all about, man.

It doesn't feel good to be treated like you're inferior.

Stop making it about y'all!

It's about us.

[munching]

Marissa!

[sobbing]

I'm in pain.

And you want this for me?

[cackling]

Oh you think she's sweet?

Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

Ah.

[bowling pins knocking]

My freedom!

Enjoy China!

[blows raspberry]

[Nikki cackling]

Hey, are you okay?

No one's ever stood up for me before.

Thanks, Money.

Aw, you're welcome, Happy.

What do you say we get outta here

and go back over to Princess Plaza.

I've been meaning to call Princess Chocolate, anyway.

Low key, she kinda thick.

Heck no!

Marissa made the ultimate sacrifice.

She gave her life for the cause.

["Taps" playing]

Oh man.

Sweet Marissa.

No you've gotta do the same.

Wait, what?

Oh no, look alive.

Karens, 12 o'clock.

Call for help!

[Operator] 911, what's your emergency?

Could you help me.

[Karens] Help me, please.

Could you help me?

[Dispatcher] Fifty-two has been dispatched.

[jets roaring]

[Dispatcher] Units en route.

Lock and load, boys.

But isn't this a bit excessive?

They're peaceful protestors.

It's their First Amendment right to be here.

We're using rubber bullets, Jeff.

God damn it, this isn't right.

I'm reporting you all to internal affairs!

Siri, call internal affairs.

[Jeff] No, stop!

[explosion]

Good cops die young.

Take cover.

Guys, it's cool.

These are my friends.

[automatic gun fire]

Ah!

Don't they know I'm me?

The cops didn't recognize you from so far away.

All they saw was the color of your--

My shirt!

Duh.

Usually when I'm on TV I'm not even wearing one.

[tearing]

[Money grunting]

Guys, it's me!

Your hero!

[automatic gunfire]

[ricocheting bullets]

[explosions]

[dramatic music]

You see this.

This is what I'm talking about.

I've had such a great time with you ladies.

But one of you has to go.

[cocking gun]

This just in.

Illegitimate champion Money Montez Sheffield

is in a stand off with police

at the protest for 10-year-old Darius,

the unarmed black boy who was assaulted

by five cops last night.

[Granny] Stick and move down here.

Just stick and move.

Oh my goodness, not the batons.

I need to see all y'all's badge numbers.

Jamell! Jamell!

Carlos, tell Jamell to come get me all their badge numbers.

Thank the lord I know Jesse Jackson.

[click]

Now before you start trippin,

I just did what anybody in my position would do.

I recorded the cops beating your ass,

and then I put it online.

Look of all the support you're getting.

All these people came out for me?

Oo, I hope we get some justice.

Oh we getting justice out the ass.

Follow me.

[Protestors] Black lives matter!

Black lives matter!

Thanks to social media,

some people just come to protest for the experience.

So I figured I'd provide one and charge 400 bucks a head.

First, I hired some influencers,

since nobody thinks for themselves.

[camera clicking] Justice for Darius!

Set up some photo booths.

OMGDG.

Literally fighting the power.

We got some merch over there.

Shirts, hats, NFTs!

There's even a ride.

-Watch out! -Woo-hoo!

Ricky's Revenge can hit zero to 60 people

in under four seconds.

Let me go.

It's coming back to me.

You make money off the bad stuff that happens to people.

No, baby.

Don't you see?

I turn lemons into lemonade.

That's wrong!

I am an old, black lesbian in America.

I've been wronged my whole life.

Shit, wrong is all I know.

This ain't wrong. This is business.

I hope I never see you again!

Mm, mm, mm!

He has no respect for his elders.

[Protestors] Lemonade! Lemonade!

[dramatic music]

[shattering glass]

Can't we all just get along?

[slamming]

I can't watch.

No!

[Nikki] You're gonna die a hero, Montez!

It'll all be over soon!

Money Montez, what are you doing here?

Your Nutwhacker ads say you support cops.

I do, I do!

[grumbling]

Not support cops.

I'm going to eat you now.

Nom, nom, nom, nom.

Ah! Oh shit, someone help!

I can't die.

No!

Nom, nom, nom!

♪ Deliver us

Ah!

Damn, not this dude.

♪ Deliver us

♪ Ah

Our people have to fight for what's right

to be treated like human beings.

Channel your feelings of oppression.

Aggression.

Frustration.

Anger.

And use it!

-No justice! -[Protestors] No peace!

Thank you.

God was with me on that.

He's so extra.

Well, if it ain't Nikki the negative Nancy.

Hey, Alan.

How's the air in there?

Better than the air out there.

Whatever, boy.

We know you ain't sick.

You just wear that thing for attention.

Hey!

[crowd gasping]

Oh.

[coughing]

Your next activist coming to the stage right now

is new to this arena and I am intrigued

on what this young brother has to say.

Make some noise right now for Mr. Montez Sheffield!

[crowd cheering]

I'm nervous.

What if I say the wrong thing?

Listen, Montez.

If your heart's really been in it the whole time,

you'll know what to say.

Oh boy.

My man, Money Montez.

Woo! Here's your chance to fight for what's right, playboy.

But the multimillion dollar question is,

are you willing to make the sacrifice?

Man, I'm thirsty.

All right, um...

Um...

Everybody keep it going for "The Body Stretcher."

[crowd cheering]

Police brutality is not cool.

It is not cool at all!

[more cheering]

And um...

Um...

Yeah, um...

What are you doing, man?

Cops like us.

You really gonna fuck up your money for these strangers?

Remember what Granny said.

Feelings don't pay the bills.

[buzzing]

Ah!

And um, I'm here to tell you

that police brutality is totally, 100%...

He's gonna do it.

-Um... -[razor buzzing]

Police brutality...

is totally...

You really gonna fuck up the bag?

[swallowing]

...avoidable.

All you gotta do is be somebody they feel safe around.

Cops are people too.

Just keep your hands where they can see 'em.

And say things like, "Yes, sir."

"No, sir."

And if you're really feeling yourself, tell 'em a joke.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not the police, because they like me.

[Protestor] Screw that guy!

[crowd jeering]

What the heck?

I'm sorry, I did the best I could.

I can't fuck up the bag.

Ha, ha.

And I'm supposed to believe that you are a good person?

Ha, ha!

Hey, Earl, get the car ready.

Man, fuck this shit!

[tense music]

[glass shattering]

Hell yeah!

This is what I'm talking about.

You crazy white folk know how to have fun.

Ha, ha, ha!

Montez!

This goes against everything we've been fighting for!

Ah! Ha, ha!

[Nikki gasping]

Marissa!

Hiya!

You get a gun.

You get a gun.

You get a gun!

[dramatic music]

Ugh!

Nobody else cares!

Why should I?

[dramatic music]

What the?

[whoosh and clang]

Aw, crap, he's back!

[gunshots]

[smacking]

[bowling pins hit]

Oh, you wanna go?

Well, bust a move.

Ah!

Retreat!

Let's get outta here.

Montez!

Woke Panther.

My king!

Oh my god!

You're Carlin Staplesack?

The biracial quarterback who took

a pee during The national anthem?!

In the flesh.

So Carlin, you mean to tell me

the whole time you haven't been playing football,

you've been going to protests to fight Antifa?

That wasn't Antifa.

They were Proud Boys dressed as Antifa.

How do you know?

The left are the good guys, duh.

You're so woke.

He ain't woke.

I'm way woker than Carlin Staplesack.

What's woke?

Sorry, Champ.

Didn't mean to knock you out.

I was in the zone, baby.

You didn't knock me out.

The impact of my skull hitting the floor did.

And I woke up almost immediately.

-Ah! -Leg sweep!

-[Montez groaning] -You guys know each other?

Yeah, we met five years ago

at an Illuminati Christmas party.

Montez got so wasted he traded his soul for a Stella.

This idiot forgot it was open bar.

Hey, don't call my friend an idiot!

He's more like a stupid head.

[chuckling]

Am not.

-Woo! -No I'm ain't.

Oo! I'm loving the Woke Panther digs.

Ah, yeah.

My sponsors made it for me

after I took piss during the pledge.

Ha, ha, you mean the national anthem.

Whatever, I don't care about America.

It's my brand.

Ah! You're so woke.

Uh-uh.

Seriously, what's woke?

If you think that's woke, get a load of this.

I'm about to end police brutality for good.

[Nikki gasping]

-Leg sweep. -Ah!

Later today at the Redskins game,

I'm gonna take a pee during the national anthem.

Imagine, Carlin Staplesack after years

of being blackballed, returns to take one more pee.

The image of my resilience alone would knock

the hatred out of every racist cop in the nation.

[clicking]

[Ghosts] We're sorry.

Wait, wait.

Wait a minute.

You took a pee before.

Why would this time be any different?

This time I'm going to use my white side.

[shimmering]

Yes!

If you use your white side,

our struggle will be validated.

Bingo.

[crashing]

Let's head back Princess Plaza.

Princess Chocolate just hit me back.

Woo, this scaly bitch is a freak.

Ugh.

Can I come?

I wanna watch you make history!

Whoa, what?

Sure, if it makes you happy.

It will!

Nah, you can't do this.

It's my job to make you happy.

Sorry, chump.

I found someone better.

Bye!

Damn.

She really abandoned me.

Get it together, man!

Feelings don't pay the bills.

I must out-woke Carlin Staplesack.

Whatever that means.

[phone ringing]

What's up, babe?

Shit.

Nothin'.

Thinking of you.

Money coming through.

Money, Money, Money's on the line.

Excuse me, pardon to the side.

Money.

You see Money, baby. Move.

One ticket, please.

Sorry, the game's sold out.

Hey, I'm famous.

[Reporter] Champ, here! Champ!

There's gotta be something you can do for me.

I can check will-call.

Oh, looks like "The Body Stretcher” hasn't

claimed his seat.

That's more like it.

Now we talking.

And it's on the field.

And that's exactly where I need to be.

But it's in the true champ section.

Ugh, unfortunately, you must be a true champ to sit there.

[ka-plump]

Ugh.

There ain't any seats left.

And I'm too famous to sneak in.

Unless I had a costume.

Oh, I know how to get those clothes off.

I'm rubbing elbows with civil rights legend,

Carlin Staplesack.

Would you look at god.

Ah, there she is.

The tunnel of glory.

All right, bet. You ready?

Little girl, I was born ready.

Carlin, your suit.

Yeah, I don't need it.

We're in a football stadium.

There's wanted posters of you all over the place.

[radio chatter]

Nah.

Maybe you should keep the suit on

until you get to midfield.

If the cops see you when you walk out,

they'll catch you before you can take

a pee during the anthem.

You think they can catch me?

Yeah! There's like 10 cops out there.

So you think I'm out of shape.

You must not have heard about my workout

with the Birmingham Batons.

-[farting] -Phew!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You still wanna play football?

Uh, duh.

But legend has it that you sacrificed your career

for the movement.

Legend has it, that's some bull shit.

I never said that. Now, move it.

Yuh, huh!

You sacrificed playing football to bring attention

to police brutality

and then they kicked you out of the league,

and then you became a full-time activist.

You even called pro football modern day slavery.

And now you're telling me,

you want to go back into slavery!

-I mean-- -Enough!

The activism is cool.

I'm always down for the cause.

But the truth is, I'm tired of being woke.

[gasping]

Yes, taking a pee during the national anthem

got me millions in corporate sponsorships.

But it also got me a million death threats a day.

And the people who don't hate me

expect me to be some kind of race-baiting super hero.

But if I could end police brutality for good,

than maybe, just maybe, I could play football again.

[sighing]

I don't know, Keke Palmer.

I just miss the days when people

only knew me as a quarterback.

Ugh!

Men!

[crowd cheering]

[Fans] Here we go, Redskins, here we go!

Here we go, Redskins, here we go!

Here we go, Redskins, here we go!

♪ O, say can you see

♪ By the dawn's early light

Your eyes do not deceive you.

'Tis I, Carlin Staplesack.

Boo!

And I am here to take a pee for justice.

[whistle blowing]

[grunting]

[lightning]

Do you know who I am!

[growling]

What the?

Do you know who my father is?

Ah!

Oh no! I'm too late!

Hot dogs, get your hot dogs!

He's gonna use his white side

to end police brutality for good.

All he has to do is take a pee!

Ah!

♪ O, say does that star spangled ♪

Ah!

♪ b anner yet wave ♪

Oh my god. Bruh!

Ah!

♪ o'er the land of the free ♪

No justice,

no peace.

[distant rumble]

[crowd gasping]

Oh. Oof.

Well, that's all right.

Second and long.

Ah!

[explosion and popcorn popping]

[explosion]

Oh. Oh man.

-♪ and the home -Carlin!

-Run! -♪ of the ♪

-[explosion] -♪ brave! ♪

Sayonara, sucker-sack.

[smacking]

[crowd cheering]

Yeah! Yeah!

Woo-hoo!

Whew.

You were right, little girl.

I shoulda listened to you.

-What do you say we-- -Sorry, chump.

I found someone better.

[coughing]

Nice work out there, Carlin.

I can't quite put my finger on it,

but I can tell you're ready to be part of this league again.

The Sack-Attack is back, baby.

[giggling]

Money, you did it!

[thudding]

Nah, you a bad friend, Nikki.

You abandoned me as soon as something better came along.

Oh, me?

Yeah, you.

No!

For Carlin.

I didn't abandon you.

I inspired you.

Nah, nah.

I knew your toxic masculinity would trigger

enough jealousy to lead you here to save the day.

Myboy and Mygirl would have never did me like that.

Hey, I didn't mean to be a bad friend.

I'm just new at this, okay?

I'm sorry.

You're the first person I've ever been able to count on.

And I don't wanna lose you.

[shimmering]

What's happening?

For some strange reason, I feel good about myself.

[giggling]

Well, who knows?

Maybe there actually is some good inside of you.

[Dad] Is that you, boy?

Yes, sir.

Come here and watch the game with your old man.

Sheryl, the beer!

Coming.

Non-alcoholic!

Bitch, you think I got a problem?

Montez, please!

You think I'm my father?

There's still a supply chain shortage, baby.

This is all they had at the store.

Come here, bitch!

[smacking]

You ruined my life.

Mama, I saved you.

He's not gonna hurt you no more.

Ah!

Get out!

But Mama, he hurts you!

He loves me.

Mama.

[light music]

You here to rub it in?

You were right, okay.

My Mama got what she deserved.

And so did I.

Come on.

I'm not going with you.

You crazy, lady.

You're a psycho.

No, I'm just your granny.

[Darius] Where did you get this?

Mother fucker.

Yeah, I hate your daddy too.

Now come on, child.

My knees is bad.

Mm!

[light music]

Damn.

Now I know why they call it the Nutwhacker.

It was worth the sacrifice.

I mean, we didn't end police brutality for good,

but you punched a cop during the national anthem.

That's gotta count for something.

I guess I'm like Rocky.

I ain't win, but I went the distance.

There were cameras everywhere!

The whole world saw you stand up to injustice.

I'm positive you inspired many more to do the same.

[radio chatter]

Money Montez did it.

Oh, he can do it, but I can't?

So... this means you're happy?

Yup.

I'm happy, you're Money, and we're friends.

Montez, a word?

Judging by your age and skin color, sir,

my endorsement senses are tingling!

Son, what you just did out there was incredible.

By punching a cop during the national anthem,

you just cemented yourself as the wokest athlete in America.

Even woker than Carlin Staplesack?

Much, much woker, son.

And that's exactly what we're looking for at my company.

I want you to be the new face

of our Black Lives Matter movement.

Oo!

Decisions, decisions.

Montez, don't!

If you become the face of this company,

they'll control every move you make,

just like the Nutwhacker did.

Do you really want to sell our people short

for millions of dollars again?

Ugh!

No, thank you, rich white man.

We have somewhere more important to be.

And without further ado.

[creaking]

Gosh, these things always get stuck.

[creaking]

And the award...

For Big Bruh of the month...

Goes to...

Money Montez Sheffield!

I won! I won!

I won!

Go, go!

This is some bullshit.

It's cool, Alan.

Let him have this moment.

It's a lot heavier than it looks.

Wow, okay.

This is really happening.

Get it together, Money.

Whew, first of all, I'd like to thank my team

who couldn't be here tonight,

The Body Stretcher for giving me

that push to do and be better.

I see ya, big fella.

Louie, for putting all this together.

You look beautiful tonight.

And last, but not least.

Nikki.

Without your patience and guidance,

none of this would have been possible.

So thank you.

Thank you all!

[light applause]

Goodnight.

Oh!

I'm so proud of you!

[dinging]

What the?

Can't run now.

-Run from what? -My rematch.

You owe me.

I'm with the kid right now.

We'll talk later, playboy.

I want to talk now.

You said you'd give me a rematch

if I could prove to you that I'm a good person.

Read it and weep.

Seriously?

You expect me to believe you're a good person?

Tell me, man,

what's going on in your head that makes you think

winning this dumb trophy translates

to you being a good person?

I told you once already,

its what you do when the world isn't watching.

That's what counts.

Nah, fuck that.

I want my rematch

in Jacksonburg Square Garden next Saturday.

Nah.

Fight me, bitch!

Montez, ha, that's enough.

Leave him alone.

[dramatic music]

Gentlemen!

Let's not ruin the evening.

Have a goodnight, Louie.

Hey Earl, get the damn door.

Woo, my back gonna be hurting after laughing at this boy.

Hell no, I ain't letting shit slide.

So I'm thinking tomorrow,

let's go shoot some hoops.

Get out of this jam for awhile.

Hey, I ain't done talking with you!

Hey, Montez, you're a piece of garbage, you know that?

You're just mad he's the true champ.

The true champ.

The true champ.

Must.

Ruin.

Life.

Hey!

Yo, chill, stop!

Stop! Listen, listen.

I made this whole thing up.

What?

I made this whole thing up.

What?

You're a better boxer than me, damn it!

There, are you happy?

I only condemned you because,

because I knew.

I knew I couldn't beat you.

I never lost before and I was afraid.

I was afraid to lose in front of the whole world.

So wait, this whole time you were actually afraid

to make a sacrifice.

Yeah, I was...

I was afraid to make a sacrifice.

I didn't think you'd be able to prove

you were a good person.

But it looked like I was wrong.

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

I knew it!

God, you're such a bitch!

[mocking] I was afraid to lose!

He flinched! Look at him, he flinched!

Fucking pussy!

You hear that, Happy?

The Body Stretcher was afraid to fight me the whole time.

You're a monster!

Wrong, I'm the true champ.

And the new heavyweight champion of the world...

Money Montez Sheffield!

[cackling]

[cracking]

[somber music]

[crowd cheering]

I'm sorry, my bad.

My bad, dog.

[cars honking]

[bell dings]

[birds chirping]

[thudding]

[Money Montez] Bump, bump.

Another bump.

Oh, the movie was better.

[smacking]

Woo-hoo!

[glinting]

[sobbing]

[bell dings] [crowd cheering]

Good win, bro.

You're the greatest of all time!

You know, I never told you this before,

but you're like a father figure to me.

And um, if something bad were to ever happen to you,

I would gladly inherit everything that you own.

Bruh! I don't even know your name.

What is your name?

It's me, Ya Boi.

[funky music]

You're my boy?

Since day one.

[micturating]

You know what?

All y'all gotta go!

Yeah, everyone form a single file line and exit

in an orderly fashion.

Money needs some space.

[thudding]

Now that they're gone, we can have some fun!

[thudding]

Boy, you just made 20 million in 30 minutes.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Nothing feels good anymore, Granny.

Shitting me.

What's the point of being the true champ

if the world don't know it?

Well, are you sure there were no doorbell cameras

that caught him saying he was scared to fight you?

None.

And you ain't hear nobody yell out, "World Star!"

Nikki was the only other person there,

but she hates my guts.

I already asked.

She won't help me.

Hm... who is Nikki?

It doesn't matter.

I think I'm done now.

I'm gonna quit boxing.

Child, what you've got is special.

A god given talent.

There's no way in hell I would ever let you quit.

I ain't about to let you fuck up our money.

You're right, Granny.

Feelings don't pay no bills.

Never have, and never will.

Yo, Montez, I know that we're new brothers and all,

but can I say something?

Of course, little man.

Granny is a sad, old lady who's afraid to show love.

She's the reason Mom was sad and mad all the time, not us.

Don't let Granny get in your head,

or else you're gonna end up just like--

Santa Claus ain't real.

You son of a bitch!

Now tell me this, who took you in

when you weren't half shit?

You did.

And who has always got your back, no matter what?

You.

I ain't afraid to show love.

I just show it in a different way.

You heard me?

Yes, Granny.

All right.

Now here's what we gonna do.

If you propose, I swear to god, I'm calling the cops.

Even though I don't talk to cops.

This is for you.

[shimmering]

[Nikki gasping]

It's your original Marissa doll.

I paid a young boy in China very little money

to fix it for me.

And what? I'm supposed to trust you again?

[clearing throat]

I might have an undefeated record,

but that doesn't mean I'm perfect.

Why are you here, Montez?

[sighing]

I want you to...

I can't believe I'm too nervous to say this.

Nikki, I want you to be my friend.

For real this time.

Are you outta your mind?

No. See, I learned something when I was with you.

There's no point in being Money

if I can't have Happy.

For real?

Yeah, you're apart of my legacy.

You were there when "The Body Stretcher" told the truth.

You're the only person in the world who knows

I'm the true champ.

Without you around, I'm just a mega-rich,

super handsome, gecko loving chump.

So what do you say?

Friends?

[light music]

Nah.

Nah?

Yeah, nah.

It means, no.

Now get the heck outta here.

You don't care about anyone but yourself.

Happy, please!

I'm nothing without you.

But...

[sighing]

Ugh, the audacity!

You must wanna die broke.

And who are you?

Captain Save-a-hoe.

You coming?

Oh, you're with him.

No shit.

Let's go, child, my knees bad. [smack]

I'm not gonna let him use me.

Why not?

Because Montez ain't a good person.

And you are?

Why? Because you wanna make things better?

Stop thinking with your heart

and start thinking with your head.

Why are you defending him?

Because I'm a fighter!

Been one my whole life.

All I know is hit and don't get hit.

Just like Montez.

And you over here taking it personal,

when there might be something in it for you.

You can leave now.

What do you think you gonna do?

Change the world from the bottom?

Child, please.

For you to get what you want in life,

someone else is gonna have see your value first.

Someone with power who you probably

won't agree with, or respect.

Now once you on top, then you do what you want.

Be as righteous as you wanna be.

But ya can't get there by yourself.

Not in this world.

It's designed to crush people like us.

So it all comes down to one question,

do you wanna be you?

Or do you wanna be happy?

[creaking door]

All right, Marissa.

What you think?

Well...

What if I could change him?

You getting preachy on me.

I can change him.

Watch.

Hey, Montez!

Custom handshake!

[giggling]

Uh, uh, uh, scurt!

[funky music]

[smacking]

Nikki, meet my little brother.

The name's Darius.

Nice to meet you.

-[cracking] -Ah!

-The boy is soft as hell. -[shoulder pops]

And you've already met Granny.

Ah! Can I call you Granny, too?

Yeah, for 30 dollars a month.

I'll help set you up with a payment plan and everything.

Ha, ha, Granny, you tripping.

[all laughing]

[Myboy] I'll die without you, bro!

[Montez] God damn, I love you guys!

[Granny] What the hell you just say?

[Montez] My bad. I ain't say nothin.

[funky music]

[funky music]

Ah!

[crashing]

[funky music]

[whistle blowing]

[punches thudding]

[growling]

[tattoo gun buzzing]

Yeah!

[funky music continues]

[kissing]

[Announcer] Made in Georgia.

[light music]

[Body Stretcher] Man, I'm thirsty!