Original subtitles

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[bold dramatic music plays]

[armour clanks]

Halt!

In formation!

[shields clatter]

Ah. Hey, Prefix, let me go in front.

-No, Suffix, you go behind! -What is your problem?

Why can't you keep in line?

[man] Excuse me, children, excuse me.

By Toutatis, your chief, Vitalstatistix, is coming through!

Come on now, come on, keep calm. There's enough for everybody.

[Vitalstatistix] Ah! Thank you, Getafix.

[lively classical music plays]

[energy pulses]

[Getafix] Next!

[energy pulses]

-Next! -Oh, dear.

Are they all going to have some magic potion, do you think?

Oh, yeah. All except one.

Very good.

No, not for you, Obelix. You fell in when you were a boy.

[flaps lips] It's just so unfair. Come on, Dogmatix.

-[barks] -[Getafix] Here, Asterix.

[energy pulses]

Well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Legion, attack!

[all scream]

[scatting rhythmically]

[horn blows forcefully]

["Buona Sera" by Louis Prima plays]

Oh, yoo-hoo, Pidiped!

-Ready! -[soldier screams]

Spread out now!

-In staggered rows! -[yells]

[screams]

[beeps, chirps, and whirs]

[song continues to play]

[exclaims and groans repeatedly]

[soldiers yell]

Regroup now! Tortoise!

[yells and exclaims]

[yaps]

[screams]

[scats rhythmically]

[plays drum solo]

[cymbals crash]

-[energy pulses] -I'm feeling a bit weak, Getafix.

No, Obelix, no magic potion for you.

I told you a thousand times that you fell in…

Okay, okay, I get it.

Where's your helmet? Huh?

Where is your hat?

[soldiers yell]

[all groan]

[Obelix hums and chuckles]

[moans]

[exclaims]

Fall back now!

Run away!

It's good of them to keep attacking when they know they can't win. Right, Asterix?

[laughs] These Romans are crazy!

-[soldier wails] -[music peaks, ends]

ASTERIX & OBELIX: THE BIG FIGHT

[gentle ethereal music plays]

[squirrel squeaks]

[tense musical flourish plays]

[gasps]

Asterix?

[branch snaps]

Asterix?

-[Asterix shouts] -[exclaims fearfully]

[laughs]

Oh. You nearly scared Dogmatix.

Yeah, but I'm the winner, aren't I?

Your turn to go first.

Oh, all right.

Where is it? Here! Happy birthday, Asterix!

[Asterix] Oh, wow! You did such a great job.

[chuckles]

Wait. Happy birthday, Obelix.

Oh, you remembered it too.

We were born on the same day. Here.

[Obelix] Wow. A four-leaf clover.

It's really rare. It's like a talisman to bring you good luck,

and give you strength.

Give me strength?

Wow, that's great.

[both chuckle]

[both laugh]

[narrator] It is the year 78 BC.

All of Gaul is free.

Free? Yes.

And life was peaceful in the Gaulish village.

Everyone lived in harmony.

After all, it was the minus '70s.

["It Takes Two" by Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston plays]

-[chief] Hello, hello! -Hello, chief.

Hello!

Good day, Chief Copacetix!

[lows]

[man grunts and exclaims]

No, no, no, no, no, no!

[children grunt]

-Hello, chief! -Hello, children.

Hello, Chief Copacetix.

Mmm. Ah!

-Good job. -That's a good stockpile of wood.

Yeah. But we hope the winter won't be so harsh this year.

Oh, I wouldn't worry yourself about that.

'Cause one thing never changes, and that's the climate.

Now, I trust you will enjoy this peaceful and tranquil…

-[distant explosion] -[all gasp]

…day.

Getafix?

[mysterious music plays]

Getafix?

Are you okay?

No. Not at all.

[bottle uncorks]

All right, so… a little bit of this.

Ah, yes.

[slurps gently]

[clicks tongue]

-Ah, no, no, no, it's still wrong. -Working on your tragic potion, then?

-"Magic". -Yeah.

I continue my research to no avail.

-The recipe's lost to the mists of time. -Oh, yeah, the mists of time.

You're not gonna find it tonight then, are you?

And that indeed is a problem.

I'm worried about the rise of Julius Caesar.

Once in power, if he chooses to invade Gaul,

we won't stand a chance against his army.

Oh, you worry over nothing, Getafix.

This Caesar has no future.

Let's hope so.

Well, the children are waiting.

And that salute of his?

It'll never catch on.

According to tradition, the Big Fight is organized

when two villages have a conflict.

The chiefs of the villages meet at a specific place

and fight in front of their tribes. It's…

Asterix, I'm scared.

I'm not sure I know our mushroom presentation very well.

You'll be fine, don't worry.

After the fight, the loser and his tribe must submit to the victor.

It's really hard.

That's how the great Chief Vercingetorix…

No, no, I swear. I just can't do it.

-Let's have a rehearsal. -Uh-huh.

Cap of red with white dots…

[both] Touch you not! White dots with cap of red, run in dread!

[Getafix] Hey.

You two, concentrate.

Please continue, Impedimenta.

And finally…

[both] Long live our village, by Toutatis!

Well done, Impedimenta and Vitalstatistix. The work of born leaders.

And now, as you're "the inseparables"

and you like to chatter away, you can talk in front of the class.

Don't fret, it's okay.

[sighs nervously]

There are two kinds of mushroom in the forest.

Those that are edible, that you can eat,

and they are delicious.

And the poisonous ones, that can make you really sick.

Isn't that right, Obelix?

[student] Erm?

Mushrooms.

Er…

And therefore not all mushrooms are suitable to eat.

Cap of red with white dots, touch you not!

Touch you not!

[heartbeat pounds slowly]

White dots with cap of red…

[audio distorts] …run in dread.

[high-pitched ringing]

[Asterix speaks indistinctly]

[heartbeat quickens]

[high-pitched ringing rises, stops]

[all gasp]

Er… and so this is what happens when you eat a poisonous mushroom.

[all cheer]

Oh, yes. Very theatrical!

Well done, boys. All right, class dismissed.

Go and have a snack.

[boy] Finally!

[all chatter excitedly]

Obelix?

Obelix.

[groans weakly]

-How did it go? -Well!

-But I had to talk for the both of us. -[both grunt]

That's what friends are for, though. Right?

[both laugh]

["Bad to The Bone" by George Thorogood and the Destroyers plays]

[clucks]

[squawks]

[sniffs] What an utter dump this is.

-[woman] Hello, Chief Copacetix. -Hello, hello.

Oh, here's the little angel!

-Hello, Cassius Ceramix. -[grumbles]

[laughs] We'll only be gone a few days. Are you sure it's all right?

Of course!

We have to help out our neighbours from time to time, don't we?

And everyone loves him here.

[chicken clucks nervously]

[chicken swallows]

-Mmm! -[squawks]

Are you sure your clover brings good luck?

[groans]

[laughs] Why are you hitting yourself, huh? Eh?

-Tell me, what are you doing? -Enough, Cassius Ceramix!

[Asterix and Obelix grunt]

[laughs] Go on, give it a go!

Just a tiny little jab, right on my chin.

[grunts]

[laughs] You are even weaker than you were before.

Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong!

You're a coward to pick on Obelix. He's the weakest in the village.

[laughs] I wouldn't pick on him if he was stronger than me, would I?

-You idiot! -[winces]

Oh! Let's play, "If I catch you two, I hit you".

-It's a cool game, right? -Er…

Go on, then!

[adventurous classical music plays]

[gasps]

[laughs] I see you!

[exclaims]

I'm coming to get you!

[gasps]

Oh, yoo-hoo!

[Asterix] Getafix.

Quick! In the druid's hut!

-No, we're not allowed! -He went out, come on!

No, Asterix. I'm not going inside, I'm too scared.

[laughs] Found you!

Ah!

[squeaks]

Dogmatix!

You're just a coward!

The wuss calling me a coward?

"I'm scared of going into the druid's hut!"

I'm not scared at all!

Oh, sure. And my mum's called Belenus.

I'm not scared to go in the druid's hut. We'll go tonight, so we will!

Ha! And how will you prove it, huh?

-We'll bring back a sickle. -[scoffs] You can find sickles everywhere.

Oh, yeah? Not the golden sickle, though!

[magical musical flourish plays]

[gasps] Asterix, not the golden sickle.

-It gives mistletoe magic powers. -The golden sickle?

-No. -Yeah.

Hmm? Oh, all right.

Bring me the golden sickle, and I'll leave you alone.

But if you come back empty-handed…

you can kiss your milk teeth goodbye!

[Obelix swallows]

[villagers chatter happily]

[suspenseful classical music plays]

Asterix, let's tell Cassius Ceramix we couldn't find the hut, yeah?

Come!

[nervously] O-Okay.

What do we do if Getafix comes back?

Red cape and white beard? Be afeared!

[laughs]

[gasps]

[mutters nervously]

[gasps softly]

[continues muttering]

[exclaims]

Hey, Obelix! Shhh!

Er… shhh.

-Oh. -[cauldron bubbles]

[exclaims happily, smacks lips]

Mmm.

[Asterix] Right, then…

[grunts softly]

-[mouse squeaks] -Hmm.

[Obelix grunts]

[sniffs]

Mmm.

[object rattles faintly]

[chuckles]

A bit bland.

Hmm? A huge prawn.

[chuckles]

[pulses energetically]

[bubbling]

Ah. Hmm.

Yummy.

[Cassius wails]

Oh, druid! [groans]

Tummy ache!

Hmm?

Well, you look well enough.

[wails] No, no, no, no, no.

I'm not well, and my head hurts.

And my neck as well.

Hmm, he doesn't seem to be very well.

[groans]

Yes. Well, let's see what I can find in my hut.

[chuckles]

[mysterious musical flourish plays]

[Asterix grunts softly]

[slurps] Mmm!

Not here.

Hmm.

[gasps softly]

[magical musical flourish plays]

Ah!

[suspenseful classical music plays]

-[door opens] -[both gasp]

[grumbles softly]

Never a quiet dinner. Where is it?

Let's see now. Hmm.

[chuckles softly]

Mmm, yes.

[Obelix grunts softly]

My friends,

I raise my horn to our eternal Gaulish civilization.

So then, digestion… Where did I put it?

Ah, here we are.

It's a grandma's remedy, but it works.

[Asterix] Phew!

And remember that we have nothing to fear…

[chain squeaks and clanks]

-Hmm? -[gasps]

[exclaims]

…but the sky falling upon our heads.

[Obelix yelps]

[dramatic music plays]

[music swells and fades]

[rumbling]

And that ain't gonna happen.

[groans]

Oh, no!

[melancholic music plays]

Oh!

By Toutatis!

[energy crackles]

What have you done, my children?

[whimpers]

[people chatter nervously]

[woman] My son!

Oh, my little honey boarlet!

Oh, he's so delicate.

He's so fragile!

Asterix, why did you want my golden sickle?

Uh, just so that I could… take a look at it.

Right.

Ah, his fever's going down.

Mmm? [grunts softly]

-Oh. -[people gasp softly]

I'm hungry.

Oh, Belisama, thank you!

-He's hungry! He's hungry! Oh. -[exclaims]

[kissing] Tuck in!

[laughs]

[upbeat percussive jazz music plays]

[chomps loudly]

Ah!

-At least he didn't lose his appetite. -[Obelix] A little bit more, please.

Mmm, eat up, my boy. Eat up.

Eat up! Eat up! Eat up! Eat up!

[rooster crows]

-He's munching. -Oh, is that too much?

-Still grazing. -He can eat, that lad.

[man] This shows an eating disorder you may find upsetting,

especially if you're a wild boar. Please visit wildboar-danger.com

for help and support.

I actually had quite a bit of time there, didn't I? Don't know quite why I ru--

I'm sorry, Getafix.

It's all my fault.

Do you think Obelix still wants to be my friend?

Of course. The main thing is that it ended well.

Go on, scram.

[cow lows]

Hmm. There we are, Dogmatix.

[gentle tender music plays]

Hmm. [exclaims]

[laughs]

Oh, good shot. Hmph!

I'll get you back.

There, look at the size of this one!

[laughs]

[grunts]

[yells]

[grunts]

-[repeated thudding] -[gasps]

[gasps]

Er…

-[man 1] What was that? -[man 2] What was that noise?

-[man 3] That's crazy! -[woman] Oh, for goodness’ sake.

[people chatter]

[sweeping magical classical music plays]

[grunts]

Hey. Not bad.

But can you lift more?

[Obelix grunts]

-How about this? -[chuckles]

Wow.

Er, that?

[gasps] A menhir.

Er, well, no, that is much too big.

[Asterix gasps]

Oh, it's okay.

Actually, it gives me balance.

Hup, hup, hup.

[laughs] You are superhuman.

Hmm, hup! Hup, hup, whoo-whoo!

[stones clatter]

-Whoa! -Oh.

Well, they could've been placed like this on their own.

Oh, these menhirs are sacred and haven't moved for thousands of years!

What shall we say?

Erm, about the menhirs, I'm not sure.

But about your strength, not a word, Obelix.

It's our secret.

-[both laugh] -[clears throat]

Hello. So I see you don't have the golden sickle.

Dear oh dear, that really is tough.

So who's first?

Oh, no, Asterix. [gasps] Can I tell him about our secret?

No, Obelix, we said we can't tell anyone.

No, but… No, but please, just him. Honestly, I promise, no one else, Asterix.

-No, Obelix. -Oh, go on! Just Cassius.

-We promised though. -Oh no, just him, please, please!

Stop! So what is this secret? You're gonna tell me right now!

[screams]

Well, you sure know how to keep a secret.

Yeah. He did say right now.

[both laugh]

[both gasp]

No. It was very bright. And its light shone all around.

Hmm. I've put the same ingredients in though.

Did you add anything, Obelix?

Er, not sure.

Oh, yes! A huge prawn.

Hmm?

Like this?

-No, bigger. -Bigger.

-Like this? -No, even bigger.

-Like this? -Yeah, that's it! Yeah, a huge prawn.

Ah, well, this is a lobster.

-Mmm? -Yes.

Did you add anything else?

Strawberries.

Lobster and strawberries? Hmm.

[energy pulses]

Quick, quick, quick. Get down.

[suspenseful music plays]

[all] Hmm?

[Getafix] Mmm.

Obelix, are you sure you put nothing else in?

A mushroom, a fruit, a herb, a flower?

Hmm… No, I don't think so.

[gasps] Your four-leaf clover!

[light-hearted classical music plays]

[laughs] You're so stubborn, Getafix!

You're wasting your time, there aren't any here.

[laughs] I swear that night will fall long before you can find a four-leaf…

-I got one! -[chuckles]

What?

[cauldron bubbles]

[tense music plays]

[energy pulses]

[rumbling]

-[energy crackles] -[gasps]

[energy pulses]

[gentle mysterious music plays]

[Asterix] Yeah, that's it. It has the same light.

So that's what was missing from my recipe.

-Ah, I'll taste it. -No.

Obelix, you fell into it. Drinking more could be dangerous.

-[Obelix, sadly] Oh. -I'm going to try.

[slurps softly]

-[energy pulses] -[shivers]

Hmm.

I've been wanting to move this thing for a while.

-[chuckles] -[gasps]

-But it's… -The magic potion.

[groans] Whoa.

Hmm. It would seem the effect is temporary.

On you too, Obelix?

No.

We will need some time to study this prodigy.

So, for now, let's keep this potion our secret.

Getafix, I think you're being overly cautious.

We're wise enough to use it intelligently and reasonably.

["Rubber Biscuit" by The Chips plays]

[cow lows]

More! More! More! More! More! More! More!

[music continues]

-[people chatter excitedly] -[energy pulses]

[excited chattering continues]

That's it!

-[chicken clucks] -[music fades]

That's enough. No more magic potion!

[squawks]

But Getafix, where can my logs go?

Do you really want to know?

We'll only use this magic potion in self-defence

if the village is in danger.

[squawks]

[sighs] That won't be anytime soon.

[grumbles] Children…

[inhales sharply] Some… insufferable…

It's ready.

[sweeping dramatic music plays]

Here, Asterix.

[Roman soldier in distance] Halt!

[energy pulses]

[lively classical theme music plays]

ASTERIC & OBELIX: THE BIG FIGHT

[musical arrangement turns sweeping and gentle]

[musical arrangement turns suspenseful]

[lively Celtic folk music plays]