All language subtitles for gilmore_girls.1x07.kiss_and_tell.dvdrip_xvid-fov

- One of us has got to do laundry tonight.
- Why?

Because I haven't had any
clean underwear for three days.

So right now under your skirt
you're wearing...

- Not underwear.
- Mom!

It's kind of nice, actually.
Breezy.

My role model,
ladies and gentlemen.

How come you
haven't run out yet?

I don't know. I guess
I have more underwear than you.

That's not true.
You have less.

- Have you been doing laundry without me?
- No.

- Rory?
- Okay, one load.

[ gasps ]

And you didn't even ask
if I had stuff to throw in?

It was a big load.
There wasn't any room.

I'm crushed and bleeding.
Get me a tourniquet.

Oh, no. They're dirty 'cause Rory
won't wash them with her stuff.

I'm sorry. I'll do another
load tonight, I promise.

Never mind.
I'll do my own laundry.

- Fine, even better.
- I hate doing laundry.

Maybe I'll just buy
new underwear.

And flutter, flutter, flutter,
flutter, flutter.

And leaves.

Where are my leaves?

I got pumpkins, I got Pilgrims.
I got no leaves.

Every other store in town
has fall decorations.

Well, hurrah for
the mob mentality.

We're talking a few streamers
and a paper turkey.

How is it gonna hurt
to have a paper turkey?

No turkeys, no squash, no pumpkins.
Nothing colored orange.

Okay, so you don't like orange.
That's fine.

Autumn has many varied
hues to toy with.

Excuse me, could we get
some coffee please?

- And a muffin?
- Warmed?

[ Taylor ]: This is the Autumn Festival.

Your shop is right across the street
from the Horn of Plenty.

You're right smack dab in the middle
of everything. You have to decorate.

All I have to do
is serve food.

- And coffee!
- And muffins.

Taylor, I'm tired of having this
conversation with you every year.

- Yoo-hoo!
- You have lived in Stars Hollow for a long time, young man.

It's time you
became one of us.

- Hey, my mom's not wearing any underwear.
- [ gasps ]

- Well, you aren't.
- You're just being selfish, Luke.

Still they don't notice.
I can't take it anymore.

We're talking about the spirit of fall.

- What kind of muffin do you want?
- Blueberry.

You know where you can stick
the spirit of fall?

Here, don't use your hands.

[ grunts ]

I don't think you're
taking me seriously.

What gave you that idea?
No tip?

Oh, yeah, here's a tip:
serve your customers.

Here's another:
don't sit on any cold benches.

Taylor, I swear to God, if you pull those
pilgrims out of your pocket once more...

- I'm just doing it for you.
- No.

♪ If you're out on the road ♪

♪ Feeling lonely,
and so cold ♪

♪ All you have to do
is call my name ♪

♪ And I'll be there
on the next train ♪

♪ Where you lead,
I will follow ♪

♪ Anywhere
that you tell me to ♪

♪ If you need ♪

♪ You need me to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Where you lead ♪

♪ I will follow ♪

♪ Anywhere
that you tell me to ♪

♪ If you need ♪

♪ You need me
to be with you ♪

♪ I will follow
where you lead ♪♪

[ Taylor ]: I don't know.

It doesn't really look
like the Mayflower.

Well, we could put a sign
on it or something.

I don't know.

So, do you want to go back to
the Plymouth Rock idea?

[ sighs ]

We'll just live with it
that way for a day.

Okay, uh, sure.

- You know, you can get two for three bucks.
- Oh, really? Excellent deal.

You just had a desperate need
for some cornstarch?

Yes. I have very important
thickening needs, thank you.

[ inhales ]

- Nice apron.
- Nice uniform.

Well, you know, I sewed the buttons on with silver
thread, so that sets me apart from the crowd.

- I guess I should get home.
- Wait a sec. You want a pop or something?

A pop?

Give me a break.
In Chicago they call it pop.

Well, in Connecticut, we call it free soda.
And, yes, thank you.

All right, guess which is in each hand,
you get the soda.

Okay, the whole concept of a
free soda is that it's free.

You don't have to work for it.

- Sorry, you got to sing for your supper.
- Or your soda.

- Guess.
- Okay.

In this hand you have...

Thank you.

[ horn honking ]

Lane! Lane!

- What's wrong?
- I got kissed.

And I...and I shoplifted.

- Are you serious? Who kissed you?
- Dean.

- The new kid?
- Yes.

You got the new kid?
Oh, my God.

It happened so fast.
I was just standing there.

- Where?
- Doose's Market.

- He kissed you in the market?
- On aisle three.

- By the ant spray?
- Yes.

- Oh, that's a good aisle.
- What defines a good aisle?

An aisle where you get kissed
by the new kid is a good aisle.

Oh, my God,
I can't breathe.

- Okay, sit down.
- No, I can't sit down. I'm too...

Oh, my God,
he kissed me.

- Who kissed you?
- The Lord, Mama.

Oh. Okay, then.

So, tell me everything.

So, I go into the store,
and he offers me a soda.

And then he puts two behind his back and
asks me to pick one, and then he kissed me.

I'm so jealous. That's it,
I've got to get some dumb, ugly friends.

- I have to go tell my mom.
- Call me later.

Okay.

- What's wrong?
- I can't.

You can't leave? It's Sing-Your-Favorite-Hymn
night at the Kim house. Make a run for it.

- My mom doesn't know about Dean.
- So tell her.

The last time the subject of boys
came up, it got very ugly.

Well, that was different. She thought
you wanted to quit school over a guy.

Yes, over Dean.

Okay, fine. But she doesn't
have to know it was him.

- She'll know.
- How?

She'll know. She's Lorelai.
She'll know. What do I do?

Well, maybe she'll be more open to the concept now
that you're in school and doing so well and everything.

- Maybe.
- Try it.

Okay. I got to go.

Hey. Was it great?

It was perfect.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

[ giggles ]

[ door opens ]

[ door closes ]

Yeah, can you hear that?

[ fridge buzzing ]

No. No, it's higher.

- It's like a high-pitched kind of an "Eeeee" sound.
- [ door closes ]

It started last week.

But was lower and it only happened
when we opened the door.

And now it's higher and
it's on all the time.

So I think it's really, uh,
growing in confidence.

Okay, look, I've already told this
to three other people.

So could you just please tell me
what is wrong with this fridge?

[ Lorelai sighs ]

I don't...I'm not going to
make the noise again.

I'm not...eeeee.

Look, Jerry, I don't
have a lot of pride,

but I do have enough that I do not want
to make that noise again.

So could you please, tell me
what is wrong with the fridge

or connect me with
someone who can?

Thank you.

Hello, Rusty? Great.

Listen, um, my fridge is
making this weird sound.

It's, uh, like a high-pitched...you know what?
Actually, is Jerry still there?

Okay, h-have him make the sound.
He knows it.

I'll wait.

I know.
It does sound bad.

[ sighs ]

Okay, here is the deal.

You will send someone out here tomorrow
between the hours of 8:00 and 9:00.

Because I work and can't wait four hours
for one of you guys to show up.

Great. Goodbye.

- So, are they coming tomorrow?
- Nope. Monday, between 3:00 and 8:00.

- I am completely useless.
- I'm sorry.

Oh God, look at this place.
It's a sty.

Now I'm crabby. I'm crabby
and useless. [ growls ]

Stupid fridge!
Stupid fridge guys.

[ sighing ]

I hate my life.

[ bell dings ]

Hello. Hello!

Yes?

Oh, God. I didn't...quite an entrance.
Jeez, my heart.

Rory's not here.

No, I know. Um, I came to pick up that
rocker that I bought a couple weeks ago.

- Six weeks ago.
- Oh, okay. Well, that's a couple. Times three, that's six.

[ chuckles ]

Math humor.

Oh, it's not big with a lot
of people. Don't feel bad.

- This is not a storage facility.
- I know. I'm sorry.

This is a furniture store.

- Furniture comes in, people buy, then it goes out.
- Right.

Except when Lorelai Gilmore buys.
Then furniture stays here for six weeks.

- How about I pay you extra?
- I don't want you to pay me extra.

I want you to pick up the thing
you paid for in the first place. Here.

- Huh. I remember it smaller.
- It's been six weeks. Maybe it grew.

Right, well, once again, I'm really
sorry. I've just been very busy.

Maybe you should be less busy.
Then you can remember to pick up chairs.

Right. Absolutely.
Smell a rose, got it.

And then you could keep your daughter
from running around kissing boys.

- What?
- Lane is a young, impressionable girl.

She doesn't need to hear
about your daughter's kissing.

Are...are the lids tight on the paint remover,
because you're sounding a little loopy to me.

Loopy? What's loopy?

- [ chuckling ] Rory's not kissing anybody.
- Yes, she is.

She came in here and told Lane
she kissed a boy in the grocery store.

The grocery store,
where we buy our food.

This does not make any...

- She kissed the boy in the grocery store?
- Yes, yes, yes.

The boy in the grocery store.
Kiss, kiss, kiss.

I'm sorry.
I didn't know.

She didn't tell me.

I...I have to go.

[ sighs ]

You left your chair!

[ bell dings ]

[ people chattering ]

Okay, just one more time.

I have been telling you this story
for an hour. It doesn't get dirty.

I can't help it. I'm obsessed.
I'm totally living vicariously through you.

Why? You got kissed
last weekend.

Remember? You told me.
That guy your parents set you up with.

The one with the Lincoln Continental.
What's his name?

- Patrick Cho.
- Okay.

Let's do a little
compare and contrast here.

You get kissed on the mouth by a cute,
cool, sexy guy you really like.

And I get kissed on the forehead
by a theology major

in a "Members Only" jacket who truly
believes rock music leads to hard drugs.

Fair enough.
You can live through me.

But just remember that I have
no idea what I'm doing.

I'm well aware of that. That's why I've been
diligently gathering information for us.

- What kind of information?
- Well, let's see.

- Dean's from Chicago, which you know.
- I do.

He likes Nick Drake, Liz Phair,
and The Sugarplastic.

- And he's deathly allergic to walnuts.
- Walnuts bad, got it.

- Now, he had a girlfriend in Chicago.
- A girlfriend?

Her name's Beth. They went out for a year,
but they split amicably before he left.

And now she's dating his cousin,

which he doesn't feel too weird about, because
he doesn't think they were really in love.

- Beth.
- I wouldn't worry about it.

How'd you get all
this information?

Through his best friend, who,
by the way, is really cool.

So once you get settled with Dean, do you
think you could you ask him about Todd?

Oh, absolutely.

So, Beth, huh?

I hate the name Beth.
It's so...Beth.

Now, Todd also said that Dean hasn't been
able to talk about anything but you

for weeks.

[ giggling ]

Oh, stop it. You're giving
me Patrick Cho flashbacks.

[ both laugh ]

Oh, Luke,
the food here is lovely.

But you know what would
make it even better?

Let me guess.
Some autumn festival decorations?

Well, food without ambience
isn't really food, is it?

More iced tea, Patty?

Oh, no, thank you.
It's much too depressing in here for tea.

You realize Taylor's
a head case, right?

Yes, but at least
he's a festive one.

Just eat.

Coffee?

[ sighing ]

Oh, come on,
are you mad at me, too?

I mean, a man can't choose whether or not he
wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall?

My God, that's the reason the damn
Pilgrims came here in the first place.

I wasn't snubbing you.
I didn't hear you.

Now, I'm concerned
about you.

Sorry, just, uh, feeling
a little persecuted lately.

- Coffee?
- Please.

- Are you okay?
- Yes, I'm fine.

- You don't look fine.
- Well, thank you.

- I just meant you look concerned.
- I'm preoccupied.

- You look concerned.
- I'm not.

Fine. You just look it.

Hey, you know, some streamers
would look great in here.

- Okay, I'm done.
- Thank you.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Oh, hey, save your apologies
for the Indians, missy.

People are really in a giving mood today.
The Horn of Plenty is packed.

That's great.
Do you want some coffee?

Um, no, I'll just have a sip of yours.
I have to get right back.

Oh. Really? I thought
we were having lunch today.

I can't. We're one Pilgrim short.
I only have a couple minutes.

- Oh. You've been really busy lately.
- Yeah.

I guess it's that
end-of-the-year rush.

I mean, we haven't even really
talked in a couple of days.

What do you want
to talk about?

I don't know. Anything.

Okay. Did you read that article
in the newspaper

about the polar ice
caps melting?

Yeah, yeah.
Oh, big deal.

- Fine, you pick the subject.
- Oh, okay, great.

I was watching "General Hospital"
the other day

and, you know,
they have a new Lucky.

The old Lucky went to play something
where he could have a real name.

So, the old Lucky had
this girlfriend, Liz,

who thought that
he died in a fire.

So then they bring
on this new Lucky

And you're like,
"Okay, I know that's not the old Lucky

"because the new Lucky
has way more hair-gel issues."

But still, Liz was so upset
about his supposed death

that you could not wait to see
them kiss, you know?

When do you have time
to watch "General Hospital"?

Okay, let's get back
to the point.

What do you think

about the whole Liz-Lucky
kissing thing?

I think they're actors
being paid to play a part,

so it's nice that they're
living up to their obligations.

Hmm. Rory.

Look, can we finish this very
meaningful conversation later?

I promised Lane
I'd get right back.

Okay. I'll see you later.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

I'm not going to say
you look concerned.

Not going to talk about how good you'd look
dressed like a guy from "The Crucible."

Fair enough.

[ sighing ]

[ people chattering ]

[ clears throat ]

[ Luke ]: Hey!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

- What...w-w-what are you doing?
- What are you doing?

- I asked you first.
- I ran out of cream.

Yeah, me, too.

- What are you staring at?
- Nothing. Don't look. Don't look.

- What is wrong with you today?
- Rory got kissed.

What?

Rory had her first kiss
and that guy did it.

- Ah.
- [ Lorelai ]: Yeah.

- The new kid.
- Yep.

- Oh, look at him. Look how smug he is.
- He's bagging groceries.

- It's hard to be smug bagging groceries.
- Oh! Look how he just handled those lemons.

- What're you talking about?
- He threw them in the bag.

Not tossed them or placed them,
but threw them, like they meant nothing.

- They're lemons.
- They're symbolic.

- Okay. We need to get you out of here.
- No.

That Lothario there has wormed his way
into my daughter's heart and mouth

- and for that he must die.
- That's it. Let's go. - No.

- You're not going to kill the bag boy.
- Why not?

'Cause it's double-coupon day.
You'll bring down the town.

Okay, okay, I'm out.
Stop pushing me.

- What are you thinking spying like that?
- I don't know.

I just wanted to see him. I've seen
him already but before he was...

- Rory's boyfriend?
- Shush, you.

- She's growing up.
- I know.

There's nothing you
can do about that.

Okay, Mr. Reality,
break into somebody else's house.

Sorry.

- Why didn't she tell me?
- What?

Why didn't Rory tell me
about the kiss?

Maybe she didn't know
you'd take it so well.

You want to hear
something crazy?

'Cause all the talk up until now
has been so normal?

- He kind of looks like Christopher.
- The grocery kid?

Yeah. He looks
like Christopher.

And Christopher
is Rory's dad?

The hair, the build,
something about the eyes.

- He reminds me of Christopher.
- Well, that's not too surprising.

You're going to quote Freud to me?
'Cause I'll push you in front of a moving car.

- This talk was going so well.
- You and Rory are a lot alike.

It's not surprising you would
have similar tastes in men.

I guess.

But why? Why didn't she tell me?
We tell each other everything.

- This is different.
- But we tell each other everything else.

But this she keeps a secret.
It's 'cause it's a guy thing.

- Probably.
- Well, that's not good.

I have to make her understand
that I'm okay with the guy thing.

'Cause not talking about guys
and our personal lives,

that's me and my mom.
That is not me and Rory.

- Are you okay with the guy thing?
- Yes.

- Really?
- Okay-ish.

- That's not okay.
- Well, that's okay with an "ish."

Whatever you say.

She just...she thinks I'll
disapprove, right? Well, I won't.

I will show her that
I think this is great.

Once she sees that
I think this is great,

everything will be back to
normal between us, right?

So you passed the need for an actual
person to talk to several minutes ago.

- Oh, yeah, before the gelato stand.
- You're an amazing woman.

Thank you for noticing.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

- Oh, hey, no big deal. Um, there's Chinese in the fridge.
- Okay.

So, kissed any
good boys lately?

- Who...
- Mrs. Kim.

Of course.

- So, he's cute.
- Yeah, he is.

- Can he spell?
- He can spell and read.

- How long have you known?
- Since this morning.

You didn't think you were going to be
able to keep it a secret, did you?

- You were making out in the market.
- We weren't making out.

It was just one kiss.

Yeah, well, by the time that gets to Miss Patty's,
it's a scene from "9 1/2 Weeks."

You've known all this time?
At Luke's? Here?

Yeah.

You could have said something.

Now, funny, I was going to say
the same thing to you.

- So...
- So...

- What now?
- Now? Nothing.

No? No lecture
about kissing a boy?

- No. Why? Did you do it wrong?
- No.

I don't think.

I didn't love the
way I found out,

but you're getting older. These things
are bound to happen occasionally.

- Actually, I think it's great.
- No, you don't.

Yes, I do. I'm thrilled.

[ sighing ]

- Thrilled?
- Yeah.

You're completely weirded out
by this, aren't you?

No, you're crazy.
I'm perfectly fine with it.

You don't seem fine.
You seem the complete opposite of fine.

Well, you're projecting
that on me because

you don't want to think that I'm fine
when I am, as I have said, fine.

Okay.

Never been finer.

Got it.

- You want some?
- No, thanks. I'm fine.

Okay, we have to be really quick
'cause the video store's gonna close.

So stick to our list. No impulse
buying like toothpaste or soap.

- Rory?
- Hey, you know what?

I think we have enough stuff
to eat at home.

Really? Where do you live?
'Cause the home I left had nothing.

- We're ordering pizza. That's enough.
- Are you crazy?

You can't watch "Willy Wonka"
without massive amounts of junk food.

It's not right. I won't allow it.
We're going in.

[ sighing ]

- Rory, it's fine.
- It's too weird.

- I'm gonna have to meet him eventually.
- Okay, how about next year?

I'm going to be so cool in there,
you will mistake me for Shaft.

- There will be no interrogation.
- I swear.

No kissing noises.
No stories from my childhood.

No referring to Chicago
as "Chi-town."

No James Dean jokes.
No father-with-a-shotgun stares.

- No Nancy Walker impressions.
- Oh, come on.

- Promise me.
- I really and truly promise.

Now can we please
go to the market?

[ inhaling ]

- Okay.
- Thank God.

Let's go.

I don't see him.

All right, well,
maybe he's on a break.

- Yeah. Yeah, maybe he's on a break.
- Yeah.

- Okay, good. So we can shop.
- Yep.

Do we want marshmallows?

Mmm. And jellybeans.
And chocolate kisses.

Cookie dough we have at home,
peanut butter...

Ooh! Do you think they have that thing
that's a sugar stick on one side

but then you dip it in sugar
on the other side and eat it?

We are going to be so sick.
It's amazing that we still function.

[ man chattering ]

There he is.

- [ Lorelai ]: Boy, he's tall. That must have been
some back-bender, that kiss. - Mom.

Make sure you warm
up next time.

- Okay, we are leaving now.
- Sorry. Done now.

- He's got great eyes. You got to love a guy
with great eyes. - [ Rory ]: Yeah.

- And a nice smile.
- Very nice.

- Think we can get him to turn around?
- It's nice, too.

- Really? - Trust me.
- Hey.

Oh, you girls having
another movie night?

Yeah. It's "Willy Wonka and
the Chocolate Factory."

- Oh, that's nice. Isn't that the one with Gene Hackman?
- Uh, Gene Wilder.

- You're a Wonka fan?
- Yeah.

Um, Dean, this is my mom, Lorelai.
And, Mom, this is Dean.

- Nice to meet you, Dean.
- Yeah, you, too.

- Nice apron.
- Um, thanks.

- [ cashier ]: $41.83.
- Oh, wow.

It's expensive to slowly
rot your insides, isn't it?

Here you go.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- So, Dean, nice meeting you.
Hope to see you again. - Yeah.

Dean.

- See, that wasn't so bad.
- You're right.

I said nothing embarrassing,
nothing stupid.

- I appreciate that.
- So chill out, Supermarket Slut.

See, even a little information
in your hands is dangerous.

- I need coffee.
- Mom, the video store closes in 10 minutes.

- Well, you run to the video store and I'll go get coffee.
- Fine.

Go, go, go. I'll meet you at Luke's.

Hey, um, you
forgot your Red Vines.

Oh, wow! You totally
saved the night!

- Thanks.
- Sure.

[ crickets chirping ]

Hey.

- What are you doing tonight?
- Me?

Uh, well, I don't know.

Well, do you want to come over?
We're ordering pizza, we got a movie.

The neighborhood's got a pool going

to see who falls into a sugar coma first.
I'm the favorite. It might be fun.

Uh, well, um, uh...

Oh, it's totally casual.
I'm sure Rory would love it.

- Okay, sure. - Yeah?
- Yeah. What time?

- Seven sound good?
- Sounds fine.

- Let me give you our address.
- That's okay. I...I know where you live.

Right. Of course you do.
Um, so see you tonight.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- [ Lorelai ]: So?
- Got it.

Score! You know, on the one hand, I'm glad it was in,
but on the other hand, what kind of world do we live in

where no one has rented
"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"?

- Well, we rented it.
- Thank God for us.

Oh, hey, I invited your friend
over to watch it with us.

- What friend?
- Dean.

What?

Yeah. I told him what we were doing tonight,
and he was totally into it.

So...why are you looking
at me like that?

- You invited Dean to our house?
- Yes.

- Are you crazy?
- Why are you mad?

Because we haven't even been out
on a date by ourselves yet.

My first date with Dean is going to be
with my mother? Are...what is wrong with you?

I...I'm sorry. I thought you
would be happy about this.

In what universe
would I be happy?

This isn't Amish country.
Girls and boys usually date alone.

I don't think of it as a date. I thought of it
more as a hanging out kind of session.

Well, I don't want our first hanging out
session to be with my mother either.

- Stop saying mother like that.
- Like what?

Like there's supposed to be
another word after it.

I can't believe you did this.
I'm so humiliated.

What...you're totally
overreacting.

I invited him to a movie and pizza,
not to Niagara Falls.

He's the boy that I like.

I know. I looked for one that you hated.
But it was really short notice.

And now he's forced to come over
and sit with me and my mother

and eat crap and
watch a movie?

Well, I just invited a friend of
yours to hang out.

What's the big deal?
I mean, what if Lane had done it?

You're not Lane.
You're my mother.

You inviting him over is like
Grandma inviting a guy you liked over.

- You're comparing me to my mother?
- No. I just...

I'm Emily Gilmore?
My, how the mighty have fallen.

I didn't mean that.

- I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
- I know.

If I was Emily Gilmore,
I'd be trying to humiliate you.

- I just...
- Look, I'm sorry, okay? I screwed up.

I, uh, I was trying to...

Look, I'll go.
I'll uninvite him.

I'll tell him it's canceled on account of
I just found out that I'm my mother

- and I have to go into intensive therapy right now.
- No, you can't uninvite him.

He'll think I wigged
out or something.

Well, then I'll just disappear,
and you guys can be alone.

Oh, and have it look like
my mom arranged a date for me? No!

What do we do?

[ sighs ]

He has to come.

It won't be so bad, okay?
Just pizza, and a movie, and hanging out.

I promise you won't feel
like your mother is there.

Okay.

Okay.

You might, however,
feel like my mother is there.

- Oh, boy.
- Well...

Hey.

This is good. Add some cold cream,
and some curlers,

and let him know what he'll
be coming home to every night.

This was supposed to
be a simple night.

Watch movie, eat junk,
go to bed feeling sick.

End of story.

Now I'm supposed to look pretty and
girly, which is completely impossible

because I'm gross,
and I have nothing to wear.

- Do you want some help?
- No.

- Yes.
- Okay.

Uh...

let's see. This and...

All right, well...

This says, "Hello, I'm hip and cute,
but also relaxed.

"Since this is something I just threw on,
even though it looks fantastic on me."

- How did you do that?
- What?

I've been staring at that top
for twenty minutes. It was just a top.

You walk in, and in three
seconds, it's an outfit.

It comes from years of experiencing
fashion brain freeze like the one you just had.

- How do you do it?
- What?

This whole guy thing?

I mean, I've watched you
when you talk to a man.

You have a comeback for everything.
You make him laugh.

- You smile right.
- I smile right?

- And then you do the little hair flip.
- Oh, twirl. It's a hair twirl.

And then you walk away.
And he just stands there, amazed,

like he can't believe
what just happened.

- That's because I just stole his wallet.
- I'll never be able to do that.

Trig, I can do.
But boys and dating, forget it.

I'm a total spaz.

Listen.

The talking part, you just get used to.
The hair twirl, I can teach you.

And the leaving-him-amazed part,

with your brain and killer blue eyes,
I'm not worried.

You'll do fine. Just give yourself
a little time to get there.

- Is half an hour enough?
- Plenty.

Come on. Dab on some lip gloss,
clear but fruity. Maybe a little mascara.

Wear your hair down,
and your attitude high.

You're like a crazy Elsa Klensch.

Oh, thank you. Come on, now, hustle.
We got a man coming over.

- What time did you tell him to get here?
- Seven.

Maybe something happened.
Maybe he's not coming.

Maybe he's just late,
Miss German Train.

Oops!

What?

[ Babbette ]: Chicago is one of my favorite towns.
There used to be a great club there called...

- What was it called, baby?
- Uh, Mister Kelly's.

Oh, yeah, Mister Kelly's.
You ever go there?

- They've got Dean.
- Wait here.

- So, Dean, you like jazz?
- Sure, yeah. - [ Lorelai ]: Oh, he sure does.

It's all we ever hear about, right?
Jazz, jazz. Jazz, jazz, jazz. Hey.

Hey, sugar. We were just getting
to know your young man here.

Yeah, I...I see that.

So, Dean, um, would you mind going
inside and helping Rory out?

There's a struggle with a pickle jar lid
that I think she's about to lose.

- Oh, sure, yeah.
- Oh, it was nice talking to you, Dean.

Yeah, you, too.

- Stay cool, kid.
- I will.

- Oh, is he cute!
- Yeah.

And that Chuck Heston
chin of his!

- Is he Rory's boyfriend?
- No, they're just friends.

Well, that's not
what I heard.

Kissin' at the market. Gives a whole
new meaning to tastin' day.

Okay. I got to get back inside and shower.
So, I'll talk to you guys later.

Yeah. Have a good evening.

Oh! And don't forget to invite us
to the wedding.

Oh, won't their kids be gorgeous!

Oh. God, I hope not.

[ sighs ]

Uh, I'm sorry I'm late.

- I...I got here, like, a half hour ago.
- We believe you.

We'd believe you if you said
you got here three hours ago.

[ sighing ]

So, Dean, how do you like it
here in Stars Hollow?

I like it. Uh,

it's...it's quiet,
but...but nice.

- I like all the trees everywhere.
- Yeah, the trees here are something.

Um, when Rory was little, she found out
that one was called a weeping willow.

And so she spent hours
trying to cheer it up.

You know, like telling it
jokes and make...

No, I'm sorry.
That was me.

- Would you like a tour of the house?
- Okay.

Okay. So, this is the living room,
where we do our living. And um...

upstairs is my room
and the good bathroom.

And, uh, the kitchen is
right through here.

You ever heard a
fridge yodel before?

- [ whispers ] Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Well, you have your basics.

Microwave for popcorn,
stove for storing shoes,

refrigerator, which is
completely worthless.

- Interesting.
- [ doorbell rings ]

Oh. Um, I'll get that.
Rory, you take over as tour guide.

Make sure and show him
the emergency exits.

- That's my mom.
- She's got energy.

Yeah, well, she's 90 percent water,
10 percent caffeine.

[ chuckling ]

- So, what's in there?
- Um, that's my room.

Really? Can I see it?

Wow! Very clean.

How much does it suck that they use
"Pink Moon" in a Volkswagen commercial?

Oh, I know.

- So, are you gonna come in?
- Oh, no, I've seen it.

I mean, you look like
you're glued to the door there.

No, I'm just, uh, observing my
room from a new perspective.

You know, I hardly ever stand here. It's really
making me re-think my throw pillows.

- Would you like me to get out of here?
- No, I'm fine with you looking around.

[ chuckling ]

- Nice chicken.
- Or, you know, at least I was.

- We do not need dessert, Sookie.
- Oh, everybody needs dessert.

- So, where is Rory?
- With Dean.

Dean? Oh, that's right,
yeah, Dean is here.

Yeah, right. Okay.
You need to go now.

- Please. I just want one little peek.
- No.

Okay, fine. So, uh, how are you?
How are you doing? How you doing?

- Sookie.
- I'm concerned.

- You're stalling.
- Am I? - Sookie.

- Hey, Lorelai.
- Hey, Joe. What do I owe you?

- Fifteen dollars even.
- Okay.

- How you doing?
- Awesome.

What did you get
on your pizza?

Did you ask for extra sauce? Because I
always ask for extra sauce because sometimes...

Sookie, she's already freaked out
that I invited him here.

If she thinks I'm parading him
in front of all my friends, she'll kill me.

- But I just want...
- Death, bloody and slow, okay?

- [ Rory ]: Mom, is that the pizza?
- Uh, yeah.

- Okay, bye. Now go.
- But I just wanted...

- No. Bye. Bye-bye.
- Bye. Bye.

[ laughing ]

- So, are you hungry?
- Uh, starving.

- Where's the pizza?
- Uh, the pizza's...

Pizza!

Just bringing in the pizza.

- Hi, I'm Sookie. I'm a friend of Lorelai's.
- Hi.

Hi. Nice to meet you, Dean.
I mean, not that I knew you were Dean.

But you do look like a Dean.
Doesn't he look like a Dean?

Yeah, of all the people in this room,
he looks most like a Dean.

Bye, Sookie.

Have fun. Okay.

Here, um, I'll take that.

Oh, thanks. Great.
The coffee table's fine.

I did not invite her here.

Why don't you just set up a camera
and broadcast it all over the Internet?

Because I don't think that big.

Thank God there's good pizza here.

Oh, yeah. Now, we didn't know what kind
you liked, so we just got everything.

Everything is fine.

Good. Well, while it's hot.

[ Willy Wonka ]: Now, remember, no
messing about. No touching, no tasting...

- Who needs more?
- I do.

- Wow, you can eat.
- Yes, I can.

Oh, that's bad, isn't it?

No, uh, most girls don't eat.
It's...it's good you eat.

I'm all for it.

Let's talk about something
besides my eating habits, shall we?

Oh...oh, oh...oh,
Oompa Loompas!

My mom has a thing
for the Oompa Loompas.

I don't think finding them amusing
constitutes a thing.

No, but having a recurring dream
about marrying one does.

Don't even get me started on your
Prince Charming crush, okay?

At least my obsessions are live.
You have a thing for a cartoon.

- Ooh, Prince Charming, huh?
- It was a long time ago.

And not the "Cinderella" one,
the "Sleeping Beauty" one.

- 'Cause he could dance.
- Yeah.

I've got sisters.

So, come on, Dean,
tell us some of your embarrassing secrets.

Well, I...I have no embarrassing secrets.

Oh, please.

- I bet I know one.
- What?

The theme from "Ice Castles"
makes you cry.

- Oh, that's a good one.
- That's not true.

Oh, I've got one.

Um, at the end of "The Way We Were,"
you wanted Robert Redford

to dump his wife and kid
for Barbra Streisand.

- I've never seen "The Way We Were."
- Oh! - Are you kidding?

What are you waiting for?
Heartache, laughter...

- Communism.
- All in one neat package.

I'll have to experience that sometime.

- Next movie night.
- It's a plan.

[ microwave dings ]

- Oh, I'm going to get the popcorn.
- Bring the spray cheese.

So, uh, at what point does the outsider
get to suggest a movie for movie night?

It depends.
What movie are you thinking of?

I don't know, uh,
"Boogie Nights," maybe.

- You'll never get it past Lorelai.
- Not a Marky Mark fan?

She had a bad reaction
to "Magnolia."

She sat there screaming for three hours,
"I want my life back!"

and then we got kicked out of the theater.
It was actually a pretty entertaining day.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I guess I'll have to come up with
a different movie then.

I guess you will.

Are they chocolate eggs?

That Oompa Loompa right there.

[ both chuckling ]

You know when
he's dancing...

[ Dean and Rory chattering ]

[ sighing ]

[ Willy Wonka ]: ...these are the geese
that lay the golden eggs.

As you can see,
they're larger than ordinary geese.

As a matter of fact,
they're quadruple-sized geese

which produce octuple-sized eggs...

Thank you.

But Easter's over!

They don't know that.

- Hey, Daddy, I want a golden goose.
- [ Charlie ]: Here we go again.

[ Mr. Salt ]: All right, sweetheart. All right.
Daddy'll get you a golden goose

- as soon as we get home.
- [ Veruca ]: No, I want one of those!

Wonka, how much do you want
for the golden goose?

[ Willy Wonka ]: They're not for sale...

- Hey.
- I'll be right back.

[ Veruca ]: I want one...

Mom.

- What?
- What are you doing in here?

Trying to find the best bathing
suit for my bust size.

Well, get back in there.

Why? What happened?
Did the bag boy try something?

He's sitting in there, and
he's watching the movie, and he's perfect,

- and he smells really good.
- What?

He smells really good,
and he looks amazing,

and I am stupid!
I said, "Thank you."

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. You...you said "thank you"?
- When he kissed me.

He kissed you again?

What, is he just out of prison
or something?

No, not now.
Yesterday, at the store.

Oh, all right. Strike the
prison comment.

- So, wait, he kissed you and you said
"thank you"? - Yes.

Well, that was very polite.

No, it was stupid.
And I don't know what I'm doing here.

You're sitting in the kitchen.
What kind of chaperone are you?

Me? I'm not trying to be a chaperone.
I'm trying to be a girlfriend.

Well, switch gears,
'cause I'm freaking out here!

You really like him,
don't you?

- Yeah.
- Well, okay, then. Just calm down.

I just don't want to do or say anything else
that's gonna be remotely moronic.

I'm afraid once your heart is involved
it all comes out in moron.

- Just please come back in.
- Okay. Let's go, then.

Wait. We can't go back in together, though.
Because that would be too obvious.

Right. Okay, uh, I'll go in first,
and you go to the bathroom.

Okay, good.
Tell him I had to wash my face.

- Yes. 'Cause of all the sugar you ate.
- Yes, good, very good. - Okay.

[ clearing throat ]

[ Willy Wonka ]: Now hold on tight...

Hi, I'm back.

[ sighing ]

- Rory went to, uh, wash her face.
- Oh, okay.

...swifter than eagles,
stronger than lions...

[ screaming ]

[ Charlie ]: Hey, Grandpa, what
was that we just went through?

Dean.

I don't know exactly
how to say this,

but, um, this is a very different
kind of household you walked into tonight.

Yeah, I know.

See, Rory is my daughter.

- Ah, here comes the talk.
- How about I talk, you listen?

Rory is a smart kid.
She's never been much for guys.

So the fact that she likes
you means a lot.

I don't believe she'd waste
her time with some loser.

But you're watching me.

Sweetheart, the whole town
is watching you.

That girl in there is
beloved around here.

You hurt her, there's not a safe place
within a hundred miles for you to hide.

This is a very small,
weird place you've moved to.

I've noticed.

So, just know all
eyes are on you.

Anything else?

- She's not going on your motorcycle.
- I don't have a motorcycle.

- She's not going on your motorcycle.
- Fine, she won't go on my motorcycle.

Curfew will be enforced.
You will not detract from her schoolwork.

And you're going to start
handling those lemons better.

- What?
- Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking.

I reserve the right to change, alter, tweak,
or add to the list of rules at any given time

without any written notice.
Am I clear?

You're clear.

- Good.
- My turn to speak?

Fine, go ahead.

You can lay on all the
rules you want.

And you can have the
whole town spy on me,

and...and stare at me,
and chase me through the streets.

Oh, I like the
"chase you through the streets" idea.

But I just want you to know
that I'm not going anywhere.

- Well, it's gonna be a short chase then, isn't it?
- I need you not to hate me.

If you hate me,
then I don't have a shot in hell with Rory.

- Rory has her own mind.
- Yeah, but you're her best friend.

And what you think means everything
to her, and you know that.

I want to like you,
'cause Rory likes you.

- But you don't.
- I want to.

And I usually get what I want.

Fair enough.

[ movie starts playing ]

She's taking a long time
on her face.

Yeah, well,
Rory's a perfectionist.

[ Charlie ]:
Let's do it again, Mr. Wonka.

Tell your mom
thanks for inviting me.

I'm sorry if this
was totally weird.

- I mean, with my mom inviting you over...
- Hey, no, uh, it was good, really.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

So, that went well.

Yeah, not bad.

Did I humiliate you?

I don't know. What did you say to him
when I went to the bathroom?

That you're pretty.

- Liar.
- Yeah, well...

- I'm gonna go to bed.
- Okay.

[ sighing ]

- Mom, what's the matter?
- Nothing.

Yes, there is. Come on.
Tell me.

Nothing.

I just...I really wanted you
to tell me about that kiss.

I'm so sorry.
I really wanted to, I swear.

- I just got scared and...
- I know. I'm not mad.

I just wanted to hear about it.
That's all.

It's no big deal.
It's okay, I'm fine.

It's one too many Caramello bars.
I'm sorry.

You have school, I have work.
So time for bed.

- Okay. Good night.
- Okay. Good night, hon.

- Mom?
- Mmm?

I know this is lame and
totally after the fact, but...

[ gasps ]

Start from the beginning.
And you leave anything out, you die.

- Where were you?
- Okay, I was in the aisle where the ant spray is.

- That's a good aisle.
- I know, that's what Lane said, too.

But, anyway, so he was working,
and I go into the store,

and I just kind of walked around
pretending to shop for food or whatever...