Original subtitles

'An old pep in her step this morning.

'Good. Good to see.

'He's not coming back. OK.

'No-one quite scratches under the chin like he can.

'Not to mention those pigs' ears.

'Yummers!

'That was our dirty little secret.

'I just want to make you happy, Joy.

'It's just that... everything feels different now

'and I'm struggling here a bit and I think you are, too

'but maybe you're just better at hiding it than me.

'It's just that dogs need boundaries.'

Sometimes I think you're the only one who doesn't judge me.

You know that? You're the only one who gets me.

'I won't judge you if you don't judge me, OK?

'Ah!'

- SHE SIGHS - 'Yeah.

'You see, the thing is... Now, wait.'

- Aidan. - 'No. Pause, rewind, refocus.'

What have you got to say for yourself?

'That was a proper human-dog connecting moment we had.

'That was pure Disney stuff right there!

'OK, so, wait. So, this is...

'Mm, mm. Mm, mm, mm.'

- Oh! - 'Oh. Rookie.'

- No. No! - 'I know.

'Boundaries. Totally, yeah. No, I get it.

'You know, you'd think I hadn't watched Pretty Woman with you

'like 7,000 times.

' "Not on the mouth!" '

UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS

DOG BARKING

- High five, sister! - Oh!

Fuck, Charlene. That's not a high five.

I'm just really excited for you.

Congratulations. Basically you haven't been fired.

- Oh, was I gonna be? - I'm not gonna lie,

the chances were defo up there.

We're expecting a lot of trolling, big backlash, intense hate

and all directed at you cos you're not Flora.

OK.

I thought maybe they believed in me.

Yeah, no.

But then people liked it.

Our sponsors are happy.

We haven't fucked it up! - OK, good.

Yeah. Yes, it is good, Joy.

We're not gonna starve and I can still buy expensive moisturiser,

which is important to me, OK? - OK.

Now, Jeffrey, Audrey and the team

are waiting to tell us abut this week's assignment.

You are gonna freak out!

It's not what I want. It's not what I want.

- I just need to update it. - It's not what I want.

I will.

Oh.

All righty, all righty, all righty!

We are still standing, comrades.

And better than we expected, Joy.

Audrey here thought you were gonna fuck the whole thing up

and then you went and surprised us all

with your naive reporting style and your supreme vulnerability.

You fooled them all.

You didn't really fool me.

We have a pretty good editor.

So, this week you basically need to better.

We've assigned Stan to you for the rest of the week.

That guy is so committed.

He has third-degree windburns from Skellig Michael.

He's a legend. - He's amazing.

So you just concentrate on getting the juicy stuff.

Make it sexy, make it hot.

- Jizz it up. - Jesus.

- Jazz. - Jazz it up.

OK. So, what exactly will I be doing?

We need a piece on boundaries.

Write up on how they impact our lives

to accompany your film piece to camera.

Where you'll be wrestling.

It's a wellness group called Wrestle Your Demons,

where you get to explore healthy boundaries and tone up.

It's brilliant. But you need to bring a friend.

You have to do it in twos.

- You can do it, Joy. - But we need more,

to know more about you. We're watching, Joy.

RINGTONE PLAYS Oh. Sorry.

Sorry. BEEP

'Alan, maybe put it on the radiator for a bit

'if it's still sore.' - Shh!

'When are you coming over, Joy?'

- Sorry. It's my mum. - 'Your dad's procedure

'is all done now.' - Hello, Mrs Joy's mum!

'It's all good down there, chicken.'

She's doing great. 'He's a little bit tender

'but his penis is fine, love.' - Shh.

Hey.

I saw the finished piece from last week.

Yeah, I really don't know what I'm doing.

No, it was good. It was funny.

You were like a young, fearless,

abseiling Princess Leia or something.

HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

Or like, erm, Chewbacca or whatever.

Er...

They've assigned me to film this week's piece, too.

- Mm. - So, er,

see you in the wrestling ring! Sorry.

To properly document my humiliation.

No, don't worry. I'll, er,

I'll catch all your best angles.

Really looking forward to it.

Erm...

PRINTER WHIRRING

What is it with you?

I mean, you and your stuff and your belongings

and you just need all this space and order and...

Jesus!

Actually, well, that's just really annoying.

There's just an order to things.

You know, there's boundaries to stuff.

Help them feel calm, me feel happy and organised.

Ju... Oh! Oh.

You're being unhelpful. - But what boundaries, though?

So, it's like you make these rules up in your head

and then you think you have to apply them to all life situations.

And you expect everyone else to know

what the fuck you're talking about. Or what to do with them.

Well, I don't want to keep discussing it.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry if it frustrates me.

TELEPHONE RINGING

And your breathing exercises, of course, are your friend.

I'm sorry we couldn't go to the cinema

but I've got to learn this stuff so I don't rip my vagina.

Yeah, no, I totally understand.

And with Tom being away I've missed so many classes.

Thank you for coming with me.

No, it's cool. I'm enjoying this.

Basically, you just take your coconut oil

and you just rub it right in there.

Right into your perineum.

This is very educational.

Let's just breathe again here.

OK. And...

BREATHES DEEPLY

Actually, do you know I do have a favour to ask you back.

Will you be my, er, wrestling partner?

Erm...

No, you can't do that.

Yeah, they can be quite strict about things like, er,

unpasteurised cheese and full-contact wrestling.

Yeah.

Honestly, Joy, if you want to hang out with other friends

I'm totally cool with it.

What other friends?

Joy, it's OK to have other friends.

You can make other friends.

Because, believe it or not, you make a very lovely friend.

The one thing that you don't want is to be unprepared.

And don't forget. We have the roommate interviews tomorrow.

And who knows? Maybe one of them could turn into, like, a real pal.

...is happening, and before you know it

you've ripped your vagina right into your anus.

Exactly!

Yes.

Such a good menu.

I'm gonna go for the croque monsieur

with chips and sausages and a side of kale.

It keeps my hair shiny. What do you want, Joy?

I don't know, Charlene.

I think I'm just freaking out a little bit

because I have to find a partner for this wrestling thing.

I mean, I know my world is small.

I know I've cut myself off from a lot of people

and maybe that's OK, or maybe now it's not OK

cos it's not working as a coping mechanism any more,

but in truth, I just convinced myself

I didn't really need anybody else.

Anyway, I wouldn't know how to undo it all

or do it any other way, anyway.

OK, but what would you like for lunch?

Huh?

Oh.

The same.

I don't know what I'm doing, Charlene.

- Nobody does. - I just don't get this.

Wrestling?!

I've got tight hamstrings.

What would Flora do?

Stretch?

Oh, look, please come with me tomorrow to the wrestling.

Jeffrey and Audrey are looking for something truthful

and honest and amazing

and I'm really starting to feel the pressure.

I can't go with you, Joy. I can't double job.

And besides, I've been in trouble for fighting before.

But it can't be that hard for you to find someone.

People love being in front of the camera.

Go over to her. Ask her.

Members of the public love being involved.

It makes them feel reflected in the truth of it or...

some bullshit like that that's very touching

but I don't really understand.

I can't ask her. She's gonna think I'm weird.

Probably, but is that really the worst that can happen?

OK.

OK. CHUCKLES

I'm sorry. I can't. I can't.

Hi. My name's Charlene.

I work for News Today.

My friend and I thought you have a really good look

and we were wondering if you'd like to be part

of a segment tomorrow. Are you serious?

- Yeah. - Yeah. OK.

- Great. What was your name? - Sarah. Nice to meet you.

So, this is Sarah

and she'd really like to be involved in the piece tomorrow.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

You're so lucky. Do you know that?

No social media.

No-one looking to see

how not perfectly you're living your life.

No-one judging, no rules, no pressure.

You can just go out and sniff around whoever you want.

No-one's gonna get a picture of it and put it online

so the last bitch you've ridden is looking, going, "Who's that?"

You know?

And, look, I don't mean bitch as in "bitch".

I mean a lady dog.

And I hope you can still enjoy it after we've got rid of your balls.

KNOCK ON DOOR

- Hi. - Hey.

SHE EXHALES Hot.

OK, how do we do this?

Well, we interview them and see which one fits best.

- Great. Easy-peasy. - Piece of piss.

I love watching movies and going for walks

in my spare time. - No.

I'd be happy to cook the meals and things.

Baking. I love baking.

I'm so sorry. I don't think it's gonna work out.

I'm trying to cut down on buns.

I have a boyfriend, so he'd stay over sometimes.

But we're not noisy or anything.

LAUGHS Do you have a boyfriend?

I'm incredibly organised, tidy.

Er, clean freak.

Sometimes I go round with a cloth and a Dettol spritzer.

Stay in my room mostly.

Don't talk much.

- Perfect! - No.

Our fridge is broken. You'd hate it here.

We have no running water.

We have rats.

So sorry for wasting your time.

The room has actually just been taken.

Please get out.

I thought you said you were gonna do things differently.

- I'm trying! - You're not.

You're not trying.

You said you were reimagining boundaries

for your work, for your life.

I am. I did!

Just today, I hung out with this hot young thing

who happens to maybe be falling in love with human Aidan

and tomorrow I'm gonna wrestle her.

- What?! - On the Internet, yeah.

So don't lecture me on boundaries, because...

KNOCK ON DOOR Oh! Oh!

OK, Trish, watch this.

Oh. Whoo!

Look at the new me in action.

Are you watching?

- Do you want the room? - Wha...

The room here, do you want it?

- Er, yeah. - Great. It's yours.

Thank you. Thank you so much, you precious little angel.

Ah, that's so exciting. Look at this!

Congrats! - Ooh!

Too low. That's my gee.

Sorry.

As you know, it's a piece on boundaries.

But, look, it will be a good bit of exercise, if nothing else,

cos you do look like you like to keep fit.

Would you say you do a lot of squats?

Like, would squatting be a part of your daily routine?

Er, yeah, I like to keep pretty fit.

Your hair is very swishy.

Are you good with kale?

Like, where are you with your intake of kale?

Is this a beauty feature?

Oh, ooh!

- Oh! A bit of poo. - Erm...

It's just some background research stuff.

Er, cool.

You know, I've been thinking about the whole boundary things

and how to keep them healthy.

I think what it really is for me

is just about trying to do things continually

outside your comfort zone, you know?

And what if you can only exist inside your comfort zone?

Well, then you die. Like, emotionally.

Why else do we exist if it's not to learn and grow?

To love? To find and share joy?

Besides, if I kept the boundaries

I never would have met this great new guy.

Oh.

So sorry. I think I still have some shit on my shoe.

CHUCKLES

Hey, Joy. Hello.

I'm just gonna get a few shots over here

and then I'll be ready to roll in two minutes.

Perfect.

WOMAN GRUNTS, THUD

So...

I hate running, right?

I mean, I really hate it.

I think it actually stems from being chased

by a potential-sexual-predator guy once.

Anyway, I don't believe in bad boundaries like that.

So I joined this fun tag-running group

and I met this really cute guy.

He hates running in groups.

What? Who?

- Well? - Oh!

- Hey! - How about that?

Where do you stand on WWE boundaries, huh?

Sorry? Oh, Jesus!

This too much in your face for you?

- Kind of. - Huh? What about this?

- The rear naked choke. - The rear naked choke?

The rear naked choke.

A retaliation move... - Sounds quite sleazy.

...for your constant wrangling of the brain buster.

Oh! OK, I'm tapping out. I'm tapping out!

- No, you're not. - She's tapping out.

No, she's not.

Ow!

Oh.

BOTH LAUGH

Hey, how about if I just threw everything off course here

for a second and told you I was falling in love with you?

- Nothing. - Oh.

Anyway, turns out not all guys are sexual predators.

You know, some can be really sweet, fun,

gentle, passionate lovers.

Rolling! JOY VOMITING

GAGS

Are you OK?

I think I, erm, I think I must have eaten some raw chicken

or something in that coffee shop.

I'm definitely gonna complain about it.

Yeah, you should.

You ready?

BREATHES DEEPLY

OK, before we start today

let's talk a little about the philosophy

of professional wrestling.

What we learn in the ring here today, we learn in life.

We can start to benefit from the strength of other people

and secure boundaries to protect our weaknesses.

When you're ready, start to circle each other

and recognise each other's body languages.

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS

Oh!

That's actually an illegal shot.

I'm so sorry.

SCREAMS

GASPS

CRASH, SCREAMING

Yeah!

MID-TEMPO DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Mm! Hey, landlady.

I'm just unwinding.

Ch-ch-ch-chillin'. LAUGHS

Oh, by the way, do not panic about the mess.

I am gonna clean it up.

I basically unpacked here, and I'm gonna move it up to my room.

I've been living on couches so long, I totally forgot about...

♪ The wardrobes! ♪

Oh, yeah. Also, I wanted to watch TV

and then I found this zipped up in here

and I didn't want to tamper with it

cos I thought it might be part of a police investigation.

And I know it's a crime to tamper with the evidence

and I didn't want you to end up in jail

just because I wanted to watch Cake Boss, you know.

You lived on couches?

Yeah. Couchsurf.com. You basically, like,

live on loads of random people's couches

meeting new people, new experiences,

moving around, mixing it up.

I have met some of my best friends, actually, on couches.

Some of my best lovers, even.

CHUCKLES Who knew I'd learn to make

the perfect patatas bravas

from the coolest Latino transgender mime performer

I, personally, have ever met. Honestly.

He was, like... GASPS

And I was, like... GASPS

I thought there was a window there, but there was no window.

SIGHS

I've never even had patatas bravas.

Oh, my God. I'll teach you how to make them.

That'd be really nice.

I think maybe I've needed some patatas bravas

for some while now. - Oh.

Carb-related sugar slumps. I hear you, sister.

I, one time, fainted on the street and cracked two ribs

because a lady cycled over me on a city bike,

so you have to be very careful with those.

Um...

Oh, no! Hang on.

Let me. Do not worry.

GRUNTS

Oh. Just...

Voila! SIGHS

Thank you. MUSIC STOPS

Oh.

Me and this guy, erm...

we broke up right in the middle of season two of Narcos.

- Oh, no. - Yeah.

I just couldn't touch it, you know?

- Mm. - I just zipped it up in here.

JOY SIGHS

How come you're here?

You know, in a room, not on a couch with some surfy trip.

Yeah, my last guy,

he stole my credit card

after he stole my heart. - Jesus.

He also stole this really lovely cashmere sweater

I was particularly attached to.

Yeah, so I just needed to move on, just try something new.

- I did something new today. - Oh?

I hung out with a stranger.

We chatted. She let her guard down.

And I really wanted to hate her, you know.

But she was great.

I can totally see why he likes her.

AMELIA CLICKS TONGUE, THEN SIGHS

And then I fought her, like an old-fashioned duel,

which she won.

She really won, you know.

She opened up her boundaries

and when I crossed them she took my strength.

She took my fucking strength, Amelia.

I felt like Mickey Rourke. - Yeah.

Then she handed me my less-toned ass back to me on a plate.

I mean, it was pretty impressive, to be honest.

And now the teaser is trending on Twitter, which is interesting.

JOY SIGHS

Maybe I've just had my boundary settings the wrong way around.

Oh.

Hey.

Do you want to watch some drug lords

get gunned down at close range in the face?

Sounds really lovely.

Give me that.

- Hrrrrrh! Achhh! - Oh. Oh, God.

IMITATING BIRD SQUAWKING

HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: "Hey, I'm out!"

Right, here we go.

REMOTE CLICKS

Oh, sorry. You put yours down. There we go.

SLOW MUSIC PLAYS ON TV

GUNSHOT Oh.

BOTH LAUGH His face.

See, I find him really handsome

even though I do know that he has ruined

quite a lot of families' lives through his exploits.

There goes his face.

MACHINE-GUN FIRE

BOTH LAUGH

MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS

I think I'm ready to give you this.

Joy.

Your tiny heart of stone. - Yeah.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

ROCK CLATTERS

'You have two new voice messages.'

BEEP 'Hey, it's Charlene.

'That girl from the coffee shop, she is fab.'

BEEP 'It's Audrey.

'It's better-ish.

'It's honest, kind of.

'Maybe we got to know you more, sort of. Bye.'

BEEP

SIGHS

'Hey. Oh, yeah.

'The Snuggle Monster's here.

'Oh, she's probably wondering what she's got herself into.

'She must be exhausted, poor thing.'

HE SIGHS I know.

I miss him, too.

'Oh, God, that's got me.

'That's really got me.

'Ohhh!'

DOORBELL RINGS

'Go away. We're bonding.'

DOOR OPENS Hey, Joy!

Some bloke is here with the same name as your dog!

'What?' - He says it's about wrestling

that woman on the Internet.

'Oh, my God, pigs' ears!'

Joy?

UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS

DOG BARKING

DOGS HOWLING

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